#plus (and I've said this before too) you can always ask about character details and etc directly bc I have all the current info in my brain

[constellationcrowned]

((Finalizing and making the muse bios public is a ways off (I'm waiting for ch3 to release tbh, because there'll be a lot more to use, cover, etc) but when I do for the sake of accessibility not only will each bio have its own navi (which I can provide a sample of) I'll also list the notable tws associated with each character, primarily because they can be pretty severe and I don't skimp/water them down when writing. Safety is important y'know?))

[e-vay]

EVAY QA BULK POST 2

Here's a new assembly of asks, assorted by topics so you can browse only what interests you:

PERSONAL ASKS

Anon Asked: Have you ever watched The Nightmare Before Christmas? I was wondering if you watch it during Halloween or Christmas or do you consider it as both for the two seasons?

A: I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!! I consider it appropriate to watch for the last quarter of the whole year haha.

Anon Asked: Do you sometimes envision you and your husband as Sonic and Amy?

A: I do not, we really aren't anything like them. Ryan is very quiet and humble and shy. And yes I am forward and romantic like Amy, but unlike her, I'm an annoying little gremlin LOL!

Anon Asked: Have you ever watch 'Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'? You MIGHT like it amd I highly recommend you watching it ( but don't force yourself if you don't want to)

A: I've never actually watched it properly, but I've watched compilations of it and I really enjoyed what I saw! I love the art style of it and I like how all the turtles are unique. Plus Ben Schwartz, c'mon!

Anon Asked: Hi e-vay, have you ever played life is strange?

A: Hi! YES! I loved that game. Nana always said that she was Chloe and I was Max haha. I didn't play the sequel though.

Anon Asked: Here’s some positivity to counter that negative ask you got! What’s your favourite thing about your new style? *grabby hands* Gimme all the details!

A: I appreciate that. Honestly, I didn't purposely "change" the way I draw; art just evolves over time ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Besides, I still think my style is MY style. I feel like the characters are more on-model and expressive and don't look as flat as I used to draw. If people don't like my art anymore that's fine. I like it, so really that's all that matters.

Anon Asked: EVAY I AM DISTRAUGHT, I've been perusing your blog looking at fanfics but I keep coming across some posts that I can't access anymore like ones by kbspeeding :( Do you know of any way to read them?

A: I know, it breaks my heart, too :( To my knowledge, there's no way to access the posts of anybody who has deactivated their accounts. I wish that wasn't the case because I sincerely miss her work, but I have to respect her and others' decisions to remove their content.

MISC SONIC ASKS

Anon Asked: What do u think of the amy rose ballerina hc? I think it’s so beautifully graceful and fits her so well💗🩰?

A: I'm not sure what specific headcanon you're referencing, but I definitely believe she knows ballet! Especially her idle animations in the Boom games. That girl knows how to dance.

Anon Asked: Do you like sonic unleashed or have you ever played it?

A: I never had the chance to play it, but I love the story and I love what I've seen. I am hoping they'll re-release it for the PS4 (or PS5) so I can finally play it!

Anon Asked: If you don’t mind me asking, what do you think of Barry the Quokka, the protagonist from The murder of sonic the hedgehog? If you don’t know anything about them what do you think of their design?

A: Of course I know the trash bin king! I like his design a lot. He's super cute and I love a nervous wreck of a character. I also loved that he was just this totally normal dude who has to spend an afternoon with the most insane group of friends ever.

Anon Asked: If you had to choose, what is your favorite and your least favorite sonic game?

A: I always have a hard time answering this because there are so many styles of games and I think some are better at certain aspects than others. For example, I think Frontiers had the best writing and actor perfomances. I still think Sonic Adventure 2 has the best gameplay and replay value. And Sonic the Hedgehog 3 is my favorite of the classics because I think it's the most visually perfect and the gameplay is a lot of fun. But if I have to choose, I guess I have to go with SA2 because I never get sick of it. My least favorite is Sonic Spinball haha I suck at it.

@tonyrockstar15 asked: Hey E-Vay, have you thought of making your own Sonic Fan-Cartoon?

A: I kind of already do that with my comics :) I would love to make animations, but unfortunately I just don't have the time to do that kind of thing regularly.

Anon Asked: Do you think sonic does his taxes?

A: He has no income! But if he did make any money, I'm sure Tails would make him do it (and by that I mean, file his taxes for him because he's worried Sonic will do it wrong)

@twistedchaos101 asked: Hey, What is your expectation for the new Sonic Frontiers DLC?

A: Sweet, sweet content! By the time I'm writing this I've already played some of it and I LOVE IT! UGH, Sonic Team has been so good to us in 2023! 😭💙

Anon Asked: Hey E-Vay! Big fan of your art. I was curious to know what’s going to happen with the Hell Hath No Fury comic? Will it be continued or left up to fan interpretation following the Shadow page?

A: Thank you so much! I will finish it. It won't be left up for interpretation. I just have to get to it.

Anon Asked: Is there a possibility that everyone I mean Sonic,Shadow,Amy,Tails, Aurora and so on have some mental illness? I now that Shadow does have PTSD at some point, but does anyone else have some specific mental illness? Btw love your art ✨

A: Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm not a professional so I don't feel right diagnosing anyone with anything, even if they are fictional characters. I personally suffer from anxiety and depression so I can speak to that, but I don't think I am the person to comment on anything else.

MY OCs/AU ASKS

Here are some fun questions I received from @pccyouthleader about Aurora that I wanted to share:

Q: What are Aurora’s primary and secondary love languages?

A: I had to take the Love Language quiz as Aurora. I got her primary as Quality Time. Physical Touch and Acts of Service were nearly tied for second.

Q: Does she like practical jokes? I remember you saying at one point that sometimes she acts without considering the reactions.

A: Yes! She loves a good prank, so long as it doesn’t hurt anybody. Sometimes she doesn’t realize that not everybody enjoys a practical joke though.

Q: Is Aurora competitive?

A: She is, because she feels like she’s got a lot to prove. But not to the point where she’s going to hurt a kids feelings just so she can say she won at something. She’s always going to let little ones win.

Q: Do she have a guilty pleasure?

A: She loves reading romance novels and sometimes she writes friend-fictions like Amy does in Sonic Boom or Tina in Bob’s Burgers hahaha

Q: What quality does she most value in Shadow?

A: She loves how he is unapologetically himself, if that makes sense. Despite what he was created for, he is his own man/hedgehog and he’s forged his own path. Even when others try to put him down or break him, he knows who he is and he doesn’t back down and she’s in awe of that.

Q: Pet peeves?

A: Closed-mindedness is the main thing. Whether that’s about something important like accepting somebody for who they are, or something small like not willing to try a type of food for the first time. She doesn’t understand how people can be like that and it irks her. She also hates when people agree to something and then they flake out haha

Q: If she were shopping, what type of store would she choose and what type of item?

A: One of those record stores that has a little bit of everything. You go there for music and movies and books and they always have fun, quirky gifts. Even though the world she lives in is futuristic, she can appreciate classic things and finds them fascinating. Otherwise yeah she’d love a thrift shop because there’s always strange stuff in there. Wherever she shops, she can’t leave any store without getting something silly that she found cute.

Q: What is her most and least favorite chore?

A: Her favorite chore is spring cleaning, where everybody rummages through everything and downsizes stuff. She likes it just because of the things she’ll find that she’s forgotten about or never knew was in the house. Her least favorite chore is laundry. It’s boring and it never ends!

Q: Outside of swimming and singing, what others hobbies does she have?

A: She loves to dance, that’s a big one. I’ve also joked in the past that she’d do really well if Shadow ever brought her to a gun range, so with that in mind she’d find things like laser tag and paintball super fun

Q: I remember you saying she hadn’t traveled a lot, so if Aurora could choose anywhere to visit, what place would she most like to see?

A: She’d love to go to outer space. She’d never been to space before meeting Shadow. But she also gets that it’s a “ridiculous” dream since she hasn’t even explored all of her own planet yet. Honestly she would be happy to travel anywhere, she wants to see the whole world and beyond. She wants to experience the most of life.

Q: What is her favorite fairy tale?

A: Thumbelina. She could see herself in that story a lot: a small lady who is loved but doesn't really fit in anywhere, and gets whisked around by others trying to control what she does with her life. In the end she's rewarded for her kindness and finally finds where she belongs.

-----

@nerdk7 asked: Don’t know if you answered this question, but how did Shadow propose to Aurora? Was it sweet? Chaotic? Or both?

A: I can't reveal that yet! 🥰 I want to keep it a surprise!

@mod-bubamon asked: I have a question about cc...maybe a few im sorry I'm kinda obsessing over how adorable she is tailsxcc for life We know cc can indeed feel,but can she feel pain? Does she know about the ai art and apps? How does she feel about them? I'm sure that in winter mobians fur coats grow thicker. So did cc somehow implement that into her body? Also how much more cuddly would she get when tails fur grows out? Sorry for all the questions out of nowhere, I've been a fan since I've started tumblr a while ago.

A: Please don't ever apologize for questions. I'm happy you're so interested! And especially glad you enjoy CC! When she was in her original "drone-like" form she couldn't feel pain but she could feel fear. When she builds her Mobian body, she engineers it so she does have all kinds of feeling-receptors, including pain. Not that pain is enjoyable to her, but it's important for her to be able to have as much of the Mobian-experience as possible. I wasn't expecting AI Art to pop off the way it has so I never thought to include it in my work. CC is beyond the AI form now though, she's a full on person. Just like Sage became a full person, beyond just her programming. So I think she and Sage have the ability to create their own forms of art from their own minds. I think I've address something similar in the past: CC has the ability to just play music from her body like a speaker, but she preferred to learn how to play an instrument because she wanted to experience the art form properly. CC didn't think to include a winter coat for her Mobian body, but upon snuggling with Tails she'd definitely add that to her list of future modifications! He's the fluffiest of them all in the winter so he'd be so snuggly and warm and lovely. Thank you for following me!

@firerush asked: What does Aurora think of her Werehog form? What does she think of Shadow's or even Sonic's if that's canon?

A: She likes that she's finally tall, but other than that she doesn't like how she looks. She's very self-conscious about her werehog form. But she loves how Shadow and Sonic look as werehogs.

@jhyannarqq768 asked: How would you think if Aurora was the project while shadow was a mortal one? And i just wanted to ask how would you think if there's a another universe that Aurora it's he imortal and shadow it's the mortal?

A: Well, if she was the project she wouldn't be Aurora. She is the creation of Sonic and Amy so without them she wouldn't exist :) As far as her being immortal and Shadow being mortal: If Shadow was engineered in the 50s and he wasn't made immortal then they never would have met. He would have passed away long before she ever came around.

Anon Asked: How good of a fighter is Rory?

A: She is average as far as physical combat. She's better at diversions and dodging, using an opponents' energy against them. If she was playable in a game, I imagine she'd have a lot of QTE actions that allow her to dodge a boss and make them tire themselves out before she uses her light powers to damage them. While she attended the Young Heroes program she learned combat, but Sonic never wants her in harms' way so he instructed her to always try to distance herself from enemies so she can use her long-range light powers. But she won't back down from a fight if it means she can protect someone else.

@jordanjoebanana asked: Can the Shadora kids turn super when they have all the emeralds or is it only just Shadow,Aurora,and Sonic?

A: All the kids can go super except for the third litter (Cinder, Diamond and Boon). Those three aren't able to use chaos emeralds at all. The family does not know why.

@mysticalsuitfury asked: What led you to create a child for sonamy and naming her aurora?

A: I always make fan kids for everything I'm obsessed with. If you knew me from my Naruto days, I had a huge world of Naruto kids. So naturally I wanted to give my favorite couple of all time (Sonic and Amy) a kid! As far as the name, Aurora is my favorite name in the world. Ever since I saw Sleeping Beauty as a child, I've loved that name. So I gave my favorite name to the child of my favorite couple. Also I think it suits her personality: Colorful, cheerful, hopeful.

@twistedchaos101 asked: Aurora speaks how many languages?

A: She only speaks English.

@aurorathehedge6 asked: How old is Ruff and T-Bone since Aurora is now an adult and have kids?

A: Ruff is 8 years younger than Aurora and Tumble is 12 years younger than Aurora. For most of my comics where Aurora is not yet married, she is 20 years old.

@animeartbros asked: Do Aurora Piper and Blitz hang out much?

A: Piper and Blitz are constantly bickering so a girls' day out tends to involve a lot of yelling and picking on each other haha. It involves a lot of Aurora going "Girls, remember, your sister is your best friend for life. You don't know how lucky you are to have siblings! TT_TT Please stop fighting."

Anon Asked: Has shadow ever taught any or all of his kids how to use a gun and if so how did Aurora feel about it? | And another Anon asked: If Shadow tells his children where babies come from, I am sure that he taught them how to 'defend yourself' with a gun at a very young age ... or at least tried haha I see sometimes short comics in which Shadow tries to teach Cream how to use a gun and I can imagine that this mf would totally try to do the same with his children. Would Shadow succeed if he tried this or would Aurora stop him?

A: Gun-wielding is a part of Shadow's identity so I'd never take that aspect away from him. And Aurora actually enjoys shooting too (targets, not people!) so she doesn't feel weird about that topic. However, I believe that they are huge proponents for RESPONSIBLE GUN OWNERSHIP so they keep all their weapons securely locked up and unloaded at ALL TIMES. And Shadow wouldn't teach the kids how to shoot until they're MUCH older and responsible enough to handle such a dangerous weapon. But you'd better believe he trained them well in marksmanship via laser tag and paintball as kids!

Anon Asked: Hi! I noticed that in your Aurora-comics Sonic grows a mustache as he gets older - what made him come to that decision? And what does Amy think about it???? What about kissing Sonic with a 'stache? I, personally, think he kind of resembles Eggman so, I'm not that big of a fan but that doesn't matter! I'm more interested on their POV. I still love the way you draw them, btw. And it's really sweet to see them together through the passage of time 🥰

A: Hi and thank you so much! Honestly, the reason I gave him a mustache was just to make him appear older haha. I tried multiple ways to age him up but the mustache was the most effective. Originally, I wanted to give him something more distinguished but I ran into two problems: 1 - I didn't want people mistaking him for Uncle Chuck. 2 - I don't see Sonic taking the time to properly sculpt a mustache/beard, so I gave him something rough and simple haha. I have drawn him deciding to grow it out and Amy's reaction to it :) Amy loved it, then didn't like it, then went back to loving it because now she gets the most ticklish, delicious kisses! 🥰 The good thing about hair/fur is that it's not permanent! You can always change it :)

Anon Asked: Omg ur feeding us so WELL with the content I honestly can’t picture actual sonic canon anymore without Aurora like she is completely canon in my mind I love her so much!! Also I have a kinda weird question, if Aurora saw a gay or lesbian couple out in public as a little kid and she was curious about it, how would sonic or amy explain it to her?

A: Aw, thank you! Well the Sonic franchise has been feeding ME well this year so I have the energy to nourish you all hahaha. I'm so happy you accept Aurora 🥰 I like to think that Sonic and Amy are very accepting and loving people and would raise their children to believe that too. Also, Aurora is VERY used to seeing public displays of affection from her parents, so if she saw two people kissing or holding hands in public, no matter their gender, she'd be bouncing up and down "OOH ARE THEY IN LOVE?! ARE THEY IN LOVE??" and Sonic and Amy would be like "That's right, Tiny!"

Anon Asked: What have been going on in Aurora's mind when she was a baby?

A: I'm not sure babies think about much 😉 Just general thoughts of "Mom, Dad, Food, Joy, Sleepy" But hey I could be wrong!

Anon Asked: Out of curiosity, I know that you ship Shadow + Aurora together (and I’m okay with that)… But what if the Time-Travel Adventure never happened?… What if Shadow never went on a Big-Space Adventure and stayed with the Others?… What if he was there to watch Aurora grow up, with the Others?… What would their relationship be like, if that happened?… Would Shadow become like Aurora’s Uncle or be like a Teacher/Mentor to her, in the ways of combat?… Or would they somehow still have a romantic relationship, instead of platonic? 😇?

A: Even if Shadow never left, I don't imagine he'd spend much time with Aurora as a child. He and Sonic are not friends, and though I'm sure he'd consider Amy a friend, I don't think they're close enough for him to want to be actively involved in their kid's life. I don't think he'd even be actively involved in Ruff and Tumble's lives if he was on-world the whole time. It'd be more of a "Oh... hey kids... just here to see your mom... goodbye..." He'd likely be more of an idol to Aurora and she wouldn't mean anything to him. That being said, I do believe in soulmates, and again Shadow is immortal so he does not age. So I believe that once she's grown up, that's when he starts to really see her for who she is and that attraction would come later in life, but that would not happen while she was a child obviously.

Anon Asked: What was the scariest movie that Aurora ever saw and how exactly did it end?

A: Aurora does not like scary movies so she avoids them haha. Sometimes she'll agree to watch a classic horror movie with Shadow because he likes that kind of thing but she still finds it terrifying haha. Aurora can sort of handle movies like Wolfman or Dracula but not anything more intense than that. She couldn't sleep for days after "Night of the Living Dead (1968)"

Anon Asked: i appreciate the effort you went thru compiling all those asks. felt like a free readers digest that was nice to read through! …and now here are more questions 😈 1- how does grandpa sonic feel about shadow’s shadoralets? i wonder if he jokingly calls em faker and lil fakers sometimes haha. 2- whats it like having amassed long time followers of your art stuff? (ive been around since the ol 2009 days)?

A: I'm so happy you enjoyed my last set of asks, Anon. I hope you return and see your question here! Grandpa!Sonic is wayyyy more accepting of his son-in-law at this point and doesn't hold (much) ill-will towards him. However he does revel in the fact that Shadow doesn't know a moment of peace now that he's got a million children haha! But he loves his grandkids to death and so does Grandma!Amy. I did an old comic (having a hard time finding it right now) where Sonic has a dream about his future grandkids and when he wakes up he calls them "Tiny Fakers" but he would never actually call his grandkids that. They're his family! I appreciate that compliment and I can't believe you've been following me for so long! I'm honored (and blown away haha!). Honestly though I don't really think about the concept of having "followers" all that much. I just look at it as I'm here having fun drawing silly things and I've been lucky enough to have other people come and enjoy it with me. I'm very thankful for the support, especially to those who have tagged along for as long as I've been online.

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SHIPPING ASKS

@tatablue2004 asked: Do you like silvaze?

A: I like it enough, but I don't actively seek it out. I'm mostly indifferent to Blaze and to Silver as characters so I'm not that invested. But I do think they're cute.

@chrismantike asked: What’re your thoughts on the shadaria ship? A: 👎

Anon Asked: Sonadow yes or no?

A: Yes! I like them having a bickering, sassy relationship where they still annoy each other but they actually really care about each other.

Anon Asked: How do you feel about Sonic x selly? Would you ever draw them? Maybe for a time travel thing or a space rip or something??

A: I believe you're asking about Sally Acorn. If so, no I do not ship it and I won't draw it. If you're referring to another character, then I'm sorry but I don't know who that is.

Anon Asked: What do u think of amy being sapphic in any shape or form?

A: That's hard to say, since we've only ever seen Amy have eyes for Sonic. I'm not against it, though.

Anon Asked: In your universe, have Sonic and Amy had any suuuper big fight in the marriage? If so, what would it be like for them and how do you think it’d “affect” their relationship??

A: I mostly avoid heavy topics and fights because we get enough of that in other media and I like most of my art to be a safe place people can go to to just get a good boost of feel-good serotonin! So for my main storyline, they get into little arguments and bicker over small things because all couples do, but I try not to ever put them in a giant blow-out fight that will alter their relationship. That being said, the biggest disagreement I ever have them going through is in Aurora's Time Travel adventure (which still hasn't been published yet, sorry!). Sonic adamantly believes Aurora should not risk her life and time travel in that story and Amy disagrees. This will put tension between them for awhile, but ultimately they will be okay.

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Thank you all for the questions! There are way more but I don't have the mental capacity to answer any more at this time lol

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

Evay QA Bulk Post 3

Evay QA Bulk Post 4

Evay QA Bulk Post 5

Evay QA Bulk Post 6

[weekend-whip]

Hi! I wanted to say I LOVE your fic, and how you characterise the ninja - they’re so realistic in how they act and they have such unique ways of thinking! I also love the way they all interact with one another - the shenanigans never fail to make me laugh. I’m trying to write something myself atm, and I was wondering if you have any tips on how to do consistent characterisation/character arcs? It’s something I struggle with lots and I think you do it really well! Tysm

Thank you!!

I've gone into a few details on my approach to writing overall right here, but for specifics relating to your question:

Characterization:

Revisit the source material often! It can be easy to forget some of the more nuanced aspects of a character the longer you go without directly experiencing it (and being influenced by ~fanon~ which is not always a bad thing), but that right there is the foundation for consistency and for finding ways to expand on the character too!

A few examples of things to pay attention to when doing so are a character's dialogue/infliction (what phrases they say, how they say things, etc), how they react in average situations vs extreme ones vs personal ones, the ways they act/stand/look when not saying anything or aren't the focus, or trying to imagine what might be going through their heads, whether they're speaking or not!

Plus, it can even serve just as a quick refresher! Even I still go back and do that once it a while, especially when I need to figure out how to write a fresh character's voice (totally not as an excuse to rewatch ninja pfft what)

Read fanfiction! Yes, I know I just said we can get a little too buried in ~fanon~ sometimes, but something that can help your understanding of a character is to study how other people understand a character! Maybe they do things with Kai you agree with! Maybe they handle Cole in a way you disagree with! Either way, that does help sort out what you want to do when you write, and help you come up with idea you might not have considered otherwise!

It can also help you with the "filling in the blanks", for stuff like character dynamics for people that haven't ever spoken/interacted at all, or how a character would react in a situation they've never been forced into in canon and you're not sure where'd you start with it otherwise. If nothing else, it gives you a nice place to jump off from! And something to talk about with other fellow writers!

I just personally think it's important to remember a character's base foundation before pushing them outside of their establish box—bending without breaking, so to speak

Character Arcs:

Sometimes development can happened within a single chapter. Sometimes it's something that is contested across the entire story! One of the first things to determine is how big of an impact a character's arc is going to have on the overall plot. Is their development the plot itself? It is developing at the same time as the plot, or because of it? Is it something that happens on the side but works in service to the plot? Or does it happen independent of the plot entirely?

After asking these questions, you can then determine how important the character arc is going to be, and from there sort out how much focus you want/need to put into it. Does it all happen throughout the story as whole, just when the timing is right, or do they get a subplot dedicated to it? Those types of questions can help you decide how you want this development to unfold too.

The way I generally do it (primarily in my rewrite) is to block out the main events of the overall plot, and then detail where each character would be at in their growth corresponding to the event and/or the point in time, that way I can pace things a little easier, and figure out how potential changes can/will ripple effect down the line. Of course, this may not work for everyone or for every story, but it could be something to try!

Always!! Write!! It!! Down!! Maybe you've got it so well planted in your head and you'll only ever glance at it once, or maybe you'll make a bunch of changes to it in the future, but write out your overall plan(s) for the character(s) at least once, and then go from there. It's just good to have for a reference, and having it all in front fo you can help you visualize some of the finer details down the line (since you don't have to waste brain power constantly recalling the order of events or whatever—you can start digging deeper into the fun stuff!)

Remember it's okay if a character is static too! Depending on the plot/setting, there's going to be characters more situated for the plot at hand than others, and it's okay if everyone isn't going through something at the same time. A character might not need to undergo some astounding personal revelation; but whatever they can contribute can still be important!

So, if some of your struggle is that you can't figure something out for a character to do/learn, it's okay to put them in the backseat until they are needed, or give them smaller, less dramatic goals to overcome! That way there's not as much pressure to cram everyone into the spotlight, and gives you more breathing room to write their moments more naturally, rather than forcing something that might not even be necessary!

Anyway, hope that helps somewhat! ^-^)/

[luckyshotwrites]

Ch. 85 // Idiocy // Day 59

Contents (Warnings): Lynette starts her training (slight angst, vore mentions, character and monster info as always). Read full chapter on A03

Wordcount: 2,138 (Sorry, I've been busy with some irl problems and new puppy!)

Song I correlate to this Chapter: Not found yet!

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(Nov. 25th, Friday)

Lynette

We were still off for Thanksgiving 'weekend'. Work resumed tomorrow, Saturday. So, Wicks took it upon himself to stage our training today.

That's why I was a bouncy, nervous wreck. I never used a weapon to fight someone before. 

I also wasn't thrilled to see Garter coming along. Not because I disliked him, I liked Garter, but I didn't want more people to witness my incompetence.

I don't want them laughing at me later. 

Knife? Wicks hadn't mentioned what the weapon was until now. I can't imagine a stab wound would do anything against them. They could use reversal magic and then crush me into dust.

A hand gently caressed my back, rubbing it firm and reassuringly. It jostled my sweater. "It'll be fine. We are going over the basics today. You need to learn how to handle a knife."

I didn't like the idea of being made into a tub of protein powder.

Lev. My mind whirled back to the blender incident. I knew I'd be fine, physically, yet it was an experience I never wanted again.

The umber-skinned male popped up to meet us. He always wore a cheery smile, "If you do good today, we can get ice cream too."

It's a very tempting incentive. I had to act like it wasn't—Wicks remained on standby. He waited to joke with me about being excited for some ice cream. 

I held it back. "That sounds lovely."

"You're trying too hard, Lentils." Wicks whispered to me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I raised my chin and crossed my arms. 

"And if you fail today, no ice cream," Garter said. 

"What!"

Wicks pulled his arm back, "Yep. You even have to watch us eat it."

Garter pulled back when the elevator dinged for our floor. "Good idea, Boss. We get ice cream regardless. I like it."

"That's not fair," I whimpered. How can they be so cruel? 

Wicks stepped out first. The elevator itself already looked to be of a higher class with the mirrors behind us and the sheer size, capacity, and trim. However, the inside of the building itself felt eerily imposing. Everything looked to be made from wood, polished and gleaming with an invitation I didn't ask for.

The space felt so vast I imagined it'd fit at least two Naga's comfortably, plus I could see there were several halls that looked to branch in different directions as if they were at the center of a maze.

And worst of all, it was quiet. I didn't hear much coming from any direction, except a light tapping that I couldn't see the owner of.

Another subject that made little sense, despite the ornate details done to the walls and grand arches above, there are no chairs, tables or artwork. Nothing.

I barely took a few steps outside, before Garter threw his head in front of me. "Don't worry, I can sneak you some ice cream if you do badly."

He's sweet. 

"Thanks," I whispered back. 

The mystery behind the tapping was solved.

Garter and I moved out of the way for the thin, stalky male, much like Garter, to scramble forward. He went straight for the elevator. I ducked under the long rolls of papers.

They look like building schematics. Is this place new?

"Oh, sorry!" Their voice left in a timid croak. He flipped back to face us—he huffed, and his short chestnut locks spurred out as rushed as he was. 

"You okay, Zetsu?" Wicks put a hand on my arm and pulled me closer, unconsciously. 

He nodded, then heard the elevator door closing, and blocked it with his foot and body. It made his papers fall from his arms and onto the ground. "Ah!" Garter got the door for him while Wicks and I helped clean up. 

"I'm sorry my head has been spinning lately." I piled a few scrolls into his arms.

Wicks loaded the last scroll, "I also thought you were leading us to our block today?"

His loose smile dropped, "Yes! Good thing you caught me, ha, ha..." he let his head fall to the side. He muttered more apologies under his breath. "You're in block D, and the training weapons are out. I just got called upstairs." He bowed his head, "Thank you, Wicks, and..."

He stopped his bow. His vibrant violet eyes, which reminded me of Zilla and Zane's, inspected every inch of me. I felt like they picked at every detail of me. 

"I don't think we've met?"

"She's a new recruit," Wicks said. 

I was told to pretend Wicks and I didn't know each other and I was a rank, classless.

"Well, hello, I'm Zetsûboooooooo," he attempted to put his hand out to me and almost dropped them all again. I threw my hands against him to help keep them in place. He fixed his grip. "Thank you, and call me Zetsu for short."

"I'm Lynette, nice to meet you, Zetsu." I shared a smile, "No handshakes are necessary. You worry about getting to where you got to go with all of those intact."

As I said that, the elevator door Garter was holding open beeped. 

Zetsu threw himself back into it so it could close. "Okay! Thank you, and nice to meet you too, Lynette!" The door closed after.

"Is he a friend of yours too?" I asked Wicks.

"Kinda..." Wicks shifted his gaze. Garter pulled back from the elevator in toe. 

"Did something happen?" I asked, absentmindedly tugging at his hoodie. Is he dangerous? He seemed fine? I'm not the best judge of character, am I? My head scrolled back to Claudia. I would have never known...

Wicks peered down and gently put his hand on mine. "I'll tell you later." 

Garter walked ahead of us, leading. I released his hoodie. Should I be worried? Did I meet some kind of terrible beast? Why would Wicks not want to talk about it now? Were they something to him before.

My eyes widened, and I gasped, "was that the person you were dating? IT wasn't a LIE!"

Wicks stopped in his tracks. He flicked his head to me immediately, utterly confused.

Garter quickly got to us. He used my head as an armrest and encroached upon Wicks's face. "YOU WERE DATING SOMEONE?!" 

The anxious befuddlement grew on my brother's face. "What are you..." he trailed off. Put his lips together to keep his mouth shut and backed up. 

"You were lying to me!" I exclaimed. Garter was still using my head as a rest. 

He yelled out, putting his hands over his face. "I'M SORRY! I couldn't think of anything else to say that might sound plausible! I couldn't tell you the truth yet."

The fingers he tangled with his hair pulled more strands out, and it fell over his face.

His best friend finally let me move freely. "You shouldn't lie about a bond mate if you're embarrassed. I'm without one, but I carry it with pride." 

"It wasn't for that, Garter!" Wicks pushed himself ahead. "No more talking about this, especially not in the halls. Let's get your training started." 

...

Wicks

I can't hurt her. He didn't realize how hard it would be to simply grab Lynette out of things. 

He constantly hesitated and retreated from any slash she did.

Thus, he called a break so she could keep going over the feel, weight, and motions he taught her. 

"What's the matter, Boss?" Garter questioned. His friend loved getting up close and personal with people and to make himself their "height". Every time you do that, I feel smaller...

"What did I say about-" Wicks cut himself off and exhaled. He wouldn't argue about the 'boss' nickname today. He pressed his back further into the wall. "I'm so afraid I might hurt her."

Garter looked over at Lynette, who had her back to them. She was determined, to say the least, even though her form was subpar at best. Especially when she stood before Wicks or Garter with the training weapon. Her hands shook like a chihuahua outside in a thunderstorm. 

"You put a cloak on her; she'll be fine." Garter gave two thumbs up as reassurance. 

"yeah." Wicks bit the bottom of his lip. I would never go that hard on her, but I don't know why I keep imagining it. "I don't know."

Garter stood up straight. He tilted his head to stare at the high ceiling. Then, a bright grin peeled open his lips, his very subtle incisors were shown. "Let me take over. I'll gladly train her!"

What?! "Garter-"

He didn't even let Wicks rebuttal. 

The tall lad made his way across the grounds and to Lynette. "Hey Lynette, I will be your training partner today instead of Wicks!"

Wicks glanced back and forth between her and Garter. She looks tiny. 

The Oni of the mountains waved both of his hands at him when he saw Wicks's concern. "It'll be fine, boss—I'll go super easy on her! Trust me!"

Lynette peered at her big brother. He wouldn't dare... Garter had a track record of hunting smaller prey. They got most of those urges out with training, yet he still falls victim to it occasionally.

The only reason I even brought Garter was because I promised him we'd get some training in today. "Sounds good." Wicks shouted back. He said it for Lynette's nerves and gave the go ahead to Garter. I'll trust him.

Wicks thought, though he intently watched every motion Garter made. 

So far, his best friend didn't purposefully try to break the cloak; instead, Garter never gave her a chance to strike him. He'd quickly grab her out of a strike, pin her down, disarm her, or hold her arms up so she couldn't attack him.

He's just bullying her. 

Wicks sighed, he undid his ponytail entirely. He pet at his straighter hair. He gathered a few things so far. I should start training her in basic combat too. If she knows how to properly move and hit someone, she'd be more effect with a knife. She's relying on the strikes too much.

Garters tease echoed out in the empty, magic enfused steel room, "Do you like getting caught?"

"No!" Lynette whimpered with slight frustration. "I just never fought anyone before!"

Garter returned her knife after he poked her stomach with it, "Weird. Where I came from, you learn to fight as soon as you can walk." He waited for her to get back into a stance. He did the same. "How about I call you what we do to those who haven't learned to fight yet."

"An insult?"

He snickered, "a ginkoose, which translates to a child with newborn strength." 

Lynette shook her head in protest, "It's not my fault you guys are stronger than me—you guys are monsters."  

"In human cases, most monsters aren't much stronger or faster than humans." Garter laughed and pounced at Lynette, "So you're using excuses~!"

Lynette avoided him and continued to do so. Garter gave chase. It's going better than I thought it would. 

And, of course, as soon as Wicks thought that, he noticed Garter's black hair shifting white and flaring with volume.

Wicks pushed off the wall and ran at them, specifically for Garter. "HEY, GARTER, STOP, DON'T YOU DARE!" He couldn't let his friend try and eat Lynette.

Wicks got to Lynette, yanked her out of the way and took the force of Garter's hand as his case broke. He slammed back into the wall, it wasn't that hard, so at least Wicks knew Garter didn't lose all sense of, 'being gentle'.

Once the Oni realized his mistake, now standing at thirty or so feet tall, his four arms out and one pinning Wicks to the metal wall, he let out a nervous chuckle from between his giant fangs.

"I went a little overboard huh?"

"You think?" Wicks asked with an eyebrow raise.

"Are you okay?" Lynette got closer.

Wicks shot her a glare, warning her not too.

Garter didn't let his grip go, "does this technically mean I win since I trapped you?" His best friend said, "and if it does that mean I can eat you?"

A dastardly laugh broke out of Wicks vocal cords, he stared at Garter, "you're in direct contact with a magus, I'm not unconscious nor even trying to use any magic. Then, after trying to get my sister, you have the audacity to ask me if you can eat me?"

"Yes?" Garter said, plainly.

There was a long pause before Wicks noticed the seriousness on Garter's face, accompanied by the innocent puppy dog eyes. Wicks flailed his legs, "YOU AREN'T GOING TO CONVINCE ME, NOW PUT ME DOWN BEFORE I MAKE A SNACK OUT OF YOUR ENERGY!"

...

Hey, you, thank you so much for reading. I'm glad I put out a story that people can enjoy! I hope you continue to enjoy it as WE have a LOT more to go! YOU BETTER KEEP PROSPERING! (Nonnegotiable, as always~).

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What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)

[astorytotellyourfriends]

would you mind talking briefly about your outlining process? what do you include/exclude and how detailed do you get? (and how much - if at all - does the final draft differ from the outline?) i'm trying to start outlining my own writing and don't even know where to begin lol

also i adore your writing, it's absolutely beautiful and i get so excited every time you post about it

i would be happy to!!! 🥹 i'm so flattered that you asked!!

(the funny thing is, i didn't always use outlines. in high school when i was required to turn in an outline + an essay, i'd just write the essay first and then break it down into an outline and my teachers never said a thing. and when i first started writing fanfic i didn't plan anything out at all, i'd just write for a couple hours and then toss it up on quizilla - yes i'm OLD - and call it a new chapter lol!)

i usually use my outlines as a space to just word vomit my ideas! i treat it almost like i'm explaining my idea to a friend (which i do a lot, my friends are constantly getting the "so i have a new idea..." text), and it can either be a series of bullet points or just a stream of consciousness with bits of dialogue thrown in here and there as i think them up.

the nice thing about having an outline is it holds all of the ideas i have so i no longer have to worry about remembering them (because i have a TERRIBLE memory), and it also gives me something to go back and reread when i'm trying to get back into the headspace of an idea, especially if it's been a while since i last worked on it.

as for the final draft differing from the outline, it sort of varies from project to project. sometimes (a lot of times, actually) when i'm writing the characters sort of just take over and steer me in a completely different direction and then i have to try and figure out if i like this new direction or if i want to try and turn it back around to what i meant to have happen. or, sometimes i think "okay, this didn't work out the way i thought it would but i can take the original idea and tuck it in somewhere else later on and it'll be fine!"

(a great example would be the most recent chapter of onlyfans that i've finished, only it hasn't been posted yet so i'm not going to give away any spoilers and instead i'll use another example!)

so this is an excerpt from my outline for the onlyfans au, specifically for chapter three:

and this is how this scene played out in the actual fic:

for this part in particular, i stayed pretty close to the outline! (now i'm sure you can see why the outline for this fic is over 20k...)

but on the flip side, if you were to read the outline for chapter nine, you'd only read about chrissy and eddie's beach date. i didn't plan to write jeff into that chapter at all but somehow i ended up with an entire scene between him and eddie PLUS a full scene of chrissy and eddie making plans to go to the beach! neither of which were in my original outline!

long story short (sorry if i've gone a bit overboard on this, i just really like talking about my writing and i'm so touched that you wanted to know in the first place 🥹), my advice for outlining is don't be afraid to keep it simple. if you're struggling to outline because you feel like you should be fleshing out the story fully before you start writing and it's just not working, then just jot down whatever ideas you do have and go from there!

sometimes a story will just shape itself as you write it, and even the best outline in the world can't always hold itself up to what the story becomes. nobody's forcing you to stick to your outline! it could be as detailed as the excerpt i shared above, or it could simply be something like this:

what's most important is that your outline should help you. if you want to outline your ideas before you start writing, go for it! if not, don't feel like you have to just because other people do!

i hope this helped (and i didn't ramble too much...) and again thank you so much for asking!!! and thank you so so much for your wonderful compliment about my writing 😭 it really means so much to me that you and so many others enjoy what i've shared, especially because sometimes i let myself get bogged down with self-doubt and that makes writer's block all the more tough to handle.

thank you anon 💛 you're welcome in my inbox anytime!

[insipid-drivel]

DID vs. PTSD: A Surprising Showdown

After spending months basically going door to door looking for a therapist, I finally met one that's taken a particular interest in the way my PTSD and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, aka "multiple personalities") fight against one another rather than compound on one another.

It all started today when I was feeling generally Angry about some bad memories I had stewing in my head from the days when I was still in my abusive biological father's custody. You don't get DID without an element of abuse or neglect at a young age, so it's not a big shock to hear folks/systems talk casually about a traumatic event. Mine comes largely from my biological father, who I very seriously refer to as a psychopath. After many years of describing him to mental health professionals across different focuses in my own journey toward finding the right doctor, "psychopathy" is a word I've heard used a lot by them in response. This isn't to say all psychopaths are bad people or inherently abusive. I just happened to be stuck with one that was.

Like a lot of people with PTSD, there are days or moments where my head feels stuck in a particular moment, and it's hard to shake off the negative emotions that result. I've done enough work that I can generally make progress in pulling myself out of ruts like that if I have an opportunity to talk through exactly what's going on in my mind. I mentioned to my therapist that I often sink into my DID and embrace my alter personalities for help in wiggling loose from the cycle of memory and emotion. It's a very natural behavior for me, because many of my memories that took extensive work to recover were a result of my alters "returning" them to me. Memories of dissociative events aren't entirely lost to my brain, and are instead stored by the personality/ies that were in the forefront of my consciousness at the time an event occurred. With enough work learning how to communicate and negotiate a symbiotic relationship with them, they gradually began "giving back" the memories to me.

My therapist stopped me at this point. We were on a video call, and I could see she was intrigued and perplexed at the same time. She asked me, "Can't you ask for your memories back since you learned to speak back and forth with them?" (For context, I didn't learn how to talk freely with my alters until I was about 28. Before then, the little buggers were very stealthy and hiding as the characters from books I'd written)

"I can," I said, but I had to qualify it. "They don't always agree to do it."

I'm used to the jot of concern that comes on any therapist's face when they're first learning about how my DID ticks. At first blush, some of our "protocols" seem restrictive and on the edge of giving them too much control. I personally welcome the system and was part of its construction, because when you have people in your head that can take your body for a walk on a whim, forming positive relationships built on trust and firmly-established boundaries keeps everyone feeling like they've got an equal space to work from.

So, she asked, "What happens when they're not sure if you're ready to remember something?" - A great question, by the way, because we're not flawless. My Team, as I prefer to call them, aren't perfect. Quite a few of them struggle with basic etiquette like wearing pants. Plus, making it a rule that they're capable of flaws keeps things interesting and promotes growth and communication, in my experience.

"I'm given options," I said in return. "I can either remember through a dream. If the memory is too intense, the dream can be trashed and forgotten before I wake up. It subverts a lot of the damage of letting the flashback play out completely." I'll wake up feeling distraught and upset, but the finer details of the memory will be completely gone. It kind of feels like my Team is able to quickly reset my brain to its most recent previous version in the event of a mistake like that.

She nodded along while I continued. "The other option is to remember while awake, but the memory is altered by the personality that remembers it. Instead of remembering as though it's happening all over again, the memory will be tweaked so the other personality is physically present and capable of intervening or speaking through the memory, and even outright changing what happens in it."

This is where my therapist's interest reached its most piqued. I'd used a real example where my biological father had attempted to harm me in response for something I'd said back to him. It was one of the more intense moments that I'd ever dissociated and switched personalities with my Enforcer. I dissociated from the event so intensely that she was able to manifest more strength than normal and seriously injured my biological father. He wound up in the hospital getting emergency surgery, and I remembered none of it.

My therapist began to explain a form of memory regression therapy that utilized similar tools, except the imaginary helpers were usually real people, such as loved ones and friends. Through this therapy, the survivor could reenact a traumatic moment while experiencing the sense of support and protection provided by the volunteers.

"It's like your alters have learned how to do that organically to help you heal," she concluded, looking off in the mid-distance while she fiddled with her glasses. I pointed out that what I'd just described was why I wasn't going to her for help with my Team or my DID.

She asked me one final question before our session came to a close. "How is it that you got the negative-presenting ones to become positive helpers?"

She was referencing Marchosias, one of my Team that scared the shit out of me throughout my childhood. It's not weird for kids with DID to perceive their alters - especially negatively-tuned or aggressive ones - as paranormal activity. Marchosias was the only one of my alter personalities that actually did physical harm to me - mostly through scratches. Otherwise, I would perceive him as trying to drag me out of bed by my feet at night, shaking my bed, or chasing me down hallways to try and pull me into dark rooms. One of the reasons I became a practicing Druid at 14 was as a coping mechanism for learning how to fight what I thought was a demon.

I explained to her, "I eventually figured out how to see that scary time through his eyes." Alter personalities aren't necessarily born into the world knowing everything (or more) that the brain they're living in knows. Some are confused and need guidance. Others are aggressive and angry because they can sense the stress and trauma of the primary ego, but don't know how to help or make it stop.

I had to talk to him for a long time and ply him with encouragement. Marchosias isn't proud of the way he treated me when we were both surviving. My biological father was a big guy - about 6'3" and always 200lbs+. I'm a small person, and that's when it clicked.

Marchosias was trying to abscond with me, as it were. The rooms he tried to pull me into were ones that my biological father couldn't easily fit into, like a small side bathroom or an honest-to-god closet. The scratch marks I got on occasion were from his clawing attempts to pull me out of where I was to drag me to where I'd be safe, even if that was just under the bed.

He was treating me like an adult trying to take a frightened pet to a vet. I couldn't understand the scope of what he was trying to do, and as far as I could tell some eldritch entity was Trying To Take Me Away, but our relationship underwent a serious mending once I understood that he was trying to take me away from where the trauma was originating from.

All in all, it was a very intriguing session, and further substantiation that DID, systems, alters, teams, multiples, or whichever is your preferred term isn't just a source of dysfunction; it has the power to form abstract methods of healing, too.

[xaaxaa-translations]

Interview with ザアザア - Love Letter

Diary with drawings - An-chan

100th month - 30 days

Weather: hot

Group: ザアザア

Name: An

It's An-chan.

There was a recording today.

Everyone was talking a lot.

Today was a good day too.

Thank you.

______________________________________________________________

How ザアザア hold chopsticks.

______________________________________________________________

A game of telepathy (understanding each other without words).

This will test the level of synchronisation of the band members.

This time it will test the telepathic abilities of the vocalist and the receiving abilities of the band members.

Let's begin!

The vocalist will wish for the thing he wants to get now.

Answers:

Reiya drew "a door leading anywhere" (Anime Doraemon).

Looking at the amazing creature in An's drawing, Kazuki said "I thought it was something from Dragonball". But it was an eel, that's what Kazuki has been eating a lot lately.

Kazuki drew a gift card and Haruga answered correctly!

______________________________________________________________

Come up with snowboard designs for winter 2018.

(snowboarding inscription)

An: Too early for snowboarding, let's start with the sleigh.

Haruga: Careful. The path can be slippery, so be careful.

______________________________________________________________

Kendama championship - a test of physical ability

Now we are going to test the physical abilities of the musicians.

This time using the game of kendama.

It's an ancient Japanese game.

Whoever handles the ball best will score the most points.

An: 0 points

Reiya, Haruga, Kazuki: 15 points

______________________________________________________________

Interview about the lyrics of Love Letter

New single Love Letter released on 5 December.

Hear the soulful story of 4 people expressed in this album with the theme of letters.

Int: This year is the 4th anniversary of ザアザア and the single "Love Letter" is released on December 5. In the age of smartphones and social media, "love letters" seems rather old-fashioned.

Kazuki: It is. Truth be told, that song was written in the image of a character from a game. I've been playing Monster Strike a lot lately, and I really like Shurinkara's character design. It's what inspired me. I thought "I want to create a song like that". Plus, the costumes are based on Shurinkar's design too.

Reiya: A monster, it is a monster (laughs).

Kazuki: A monster that symbolises love.

Really, because its design is based on heart shapes. After you got the idea, how did Love Leter become complete?

Kazuki: Yeah, like always. First, we came up with the album title and cover, and then we created the melody.

Haruga: We started with the guitar. With the riffs that were in my head.

Int: And really, the guitar riffs in the intro are really catchy.

Haruga: I thought I wanted to play what was going on in my head, but even though I tried, it didn't come out the right way. As it happens sometimes, the more you think about it, the more things you don't understand.The riffs of that tune were played intuitively and I just wrote it down the way it was.

An: This tune is quite subtle. We thought about making the guitar part live and it came out very natural.

Reiya: When we all recorded it together in the studio, everything slowly fell into place.

Haruga: That's true. I was recording without any thoughts in my head and when I woke up, it already took that form. (laughs)

Int: Before that, ザアザア always stuck to a session style in music, but now so many bands make music by discussing every little thing, and the fact that this song was made by exchanging sketches really means a lot.

Kazuki: It does. We don't discuss everything in detail when we make music. That's the norm for us.

Reiya: We were asking ourselves if it would be interesting if we tried that "slippery, unpleasant, sticky" sound? Something like that.

Int: Ahh, that slippery unpleasant feeling… It's really felt in the words and the melody. Even though you originally got the inspiration from the game's character, the song itself feels like a separate story. Is it a story about an idol girl fan?

Kazuki: Although the love letter theme came from the image of Shurinkara, the lyric itself is something I've wanted to write about for a long time. This character is an idol fan, and at the same time he tends to secretly think "isn't she, the idol, interested in me?" As for me, I've studied this fragile fan psychology and wrote this song from a "if I were them" perspective.

Int: In other words, Kazuki himself didn't have any experience of "fanhood" in the past?

Kazuki: That's right. I haven't had that kind of experience. Because even though I was someone's fan, I had no desire to be associated with or drawn to someone. How shall I put it… I understand what it means to be a person who lives in that world. Although it may sound strange, but even if I had a chance to get my favourite artiste's number, I wouldn't call her.

Int: Why is that?

Kazuki: I'm not interested. I don't have any thoughts of getting close.

Int: Is that so?! (smiling). Love Letter-hero is different in that way.

An: He has a very strong desire to get closer, and at some point it gets to the point of madness. (laugh).

Reiya: Even so, I think I'm a little bit familiar with that feeling. Once upon a time, I used to like idols. (laughs).

Haruga: I may have felt that people who can understand this song are suddenly closer than I thought.

Int: Also, the single Love Letter includes the songs "どこかのあなたへ" and "人間界からの手紙", and they too are linked by the theme of writing. It's an incredible way to look at the world!

Kazuki: "どこかのあなたへ" is a song written by Haruga's intention, who wanted to make a song using acoustic guitar.

Int: What about the lyrics?

Kazuki: It was originally a letter addressed to the parents who left the world. Before, because of the awkwardness, there was no opportunity to talk to each other face to face. That's what it's about.

Int: By writing this lyric, did Kazuki put some of his soul in order?

Kazuki: Yes, I think so. I'm glad I was finally able to write about it.

Int: Next, "人間界からの手紙". I was thinking that the sound here is also chaotic and the meaning of the lyrics is quite "heavy" too.

Kazuki: "Running away "* has become a big problem lately. I had an idea that it would be good if this song would make you think. So I wrote the lyrics. The trick was to add a slightly half-joking angelic look, but unlike the result, in fact we used that space to convey fear.

(* About the "running away" thing, it was more likely to mean suicide. Although, from the text, I think more meaning is invested in the fact that "out of this world go the innocent")

Int: Speaking of which, on December 25th Shibuya WWW you will hold a oneman called "The Day It Rains" to commemorate the 4th anniversary. How do you imagine it to be?

Reiya: Although it's the biggest ever live show for us (by number of people), we want to do it the usual way.

Kazuki: I think it'll be an important first step for growth.

An episode related to fan letters.

Int: Have you had such experiences?

An: I have. I wrote once. About 10 years ago I was an otaku (laughs). At that period, I sent a fanwriting to a seiyu who sang songs.

Int: What was the content of that letter?

An: Uh, the content…? You mean what I wrote? Just some kind of impression of the CD. "I like it so much I listen to it every day!" - Something like that. (laughs). "I've been listening to this most of my life" - I wrote about two letters like that. Also, after I joined ザアザア, I got a better chance of getting heartfelt letters from the fans. I once said that I loved watermelon, and along with fan letters I started getting gift cards that could be exchanged for fruit. It actually made more sense than sending a watermelon, and I was like, "Wow, there's a system like that!" In every sense, I'm glad I joined ザアザア. (laughs)

Reiya: If you look from the receiving side of a fan letter, it usually says things you don't know or don't remember. For example there is a careful description of what was in the Live: "It was like this" or "It was like this. It was really cool. I loved it." When I see how carefully it's recorded, it makes me really happy. "It feels like a happy accident" I often think of it that way. Thank you.

Haruga: Recently, I got a message on a card that makes a sound when you open it. For a moment I was amazed. It was in the dressing room and everyone around me was turning around in amazement, so I closed it instantly, and read what it said when I got home.

Kazuki: Particularly impressive are the letters, from start to finish, full of remarks. Detailed, like "That song didn't sound good at the last show". These remarks are pouring out like a stream, and at the end it says something like, "Kazuki-san, I love you." (laughs) Immediately it's clear that it's written from the heart, to make me a little better.

[quincyhorst]

Lance 💝

Shane 👗

Gareth 🖕

...First of all, thank you for sending this ask! 💖 REALLY improved an already stressful day for me ;v;

So, let's start! I'll reply to each emoji as best as I can. ~ Though be careful, it's been quite a long time since I've written in detail about Lance and Gareth's personalities, so there could be something I missed.

Lance: 💝 - A headcanon about their love language

If I had to describe Lance's LL, I think the best type that'd describe him for me (At least from what I have seen) would be Words of Affirmation. I think that if he were to have a crush/be attracted to someone, most of the time he'd have no issue approaching and flirting with them. Plus, he is very open with his thoughts as a whole: If he finds his crush beautiful or with any other quality he's fond of, he WILL say it out at any chance. He also likes doing physical gestures too, although only when things seem to go steady. But nonetheless, if you're dating him expect being hand-kissed at any chance.

A close second for his most common LL would be receiving gifts. Don't mind him, Lance has all the money in the world and wants to spend it on you (Be it flowers or jewelry). In fact, now onto an actual headcanon, it was during the FFI where he bought his first gift with romantic intentions; taking advantage he could finally talk with his crush without any intimidating adults (or little butler) around. He bought her a little KOQ emblem brooch... 🥺

-----

...Ok, I'll confess that when I first read the ask, I got confused with "Shane", given I had never written such a name before on this blog. But I soon realized it was Shine, so... Here you have. And if it wasn't him, then... Sorry! You can ask for another character in exchange. ;____;

Shine: 👗- A headcanon about their clothes

I'll be brief: Because his parents were constantly always working outside, Shine had barely any time to do clothes-shopping with them at all. So for the most part, his wardrobe is full of loosely picked clothes, leftover ones from his father's younger ages, OR, even some bought without even prior consultation. But being fair, not even he cares much about styles and all. What he values in clothing is actually texture and comfort, SPECIALLY considering his sensory issues.

Even as an adult, when he moved with grandma Sun he only brought with him a very limited number of clothes. Typically you'll see him on his most common look: puffy red jacket and grey baggy trousers. However in this life stage more choices of his do appear, such as him prefering to wear platform sneakers (Who knows why). If he has to buy new clothes, he'd rather go to a thrift store. Not only he likes what they sell, but he's also aware of the darker side of fast fashion and the ecological damage it causes. He is not supporting that industry at all!

...I'm aware that the ask game only said one (1) headcanon, but I'll add something extra here because I actually have a special HC for Shine when it comes to this specific topic:

On Sun's house there's many things she preserves from her past, and that includes clothes. Many decades might have passed, but her sundresses still look beautiful as ever, even to Shine himself. Keep this a secret between us, but when nobody is around he likes to try them out on himself. There isn't much to this at all; it's just simply something he enjoys doing. However, while he doesn't care about imposed genders on clothes, he's aware society still thinks otherwise. So for now, him wearing dresses is only something he'll keep to himself. And he isn't ready to share this with anyone else either :(

-----

Gareth:🖕 - A headcanon relating to anger

And finally... Remember when I wrote about how Gareth was pretty much forced to repress himself a lot? Yes, that includes many of his own emotions too, including anger; with the excuse that it looks "Impolite" on a butler. So yeah, he could hold the most intense wrath within him, and yet he'd still be forced to keep a numb face. Extremely damaging to his own mental health, unfortunately...

At school things are a bit more relaxed, so Gareth HAS some ways to express his anger if something or somebody is bothering him there. Best example is obviously aganist Lance, specially if he gets annoying with his "Lancelot kills Gareth" all over again. However, it is to clarify that when releasing it all, he'll mostly leash out, never going with any violence. Sucks, because there's many people that Gareth would like to fight, yet is aware of the family's reputation and how any action can ruin it all forever.

At least if you want something sligthly better, Gareth eventually manages to free his anger aganist the man that has forced to repress it. I won't be spoiling it much (?), BUT this is after the FFI, a time period when things around him started to get worse and worse; to a point where he just couldn't bottle it all up anymore.

...Regardless of how that specific scenario ended, it gradually led to a positive impact on his life; specially on his transition to adulthood. Around GO, I think the (former) butler would finally come on terms on his anger. He doesn't repress himself anymore and will express it when needed, but he still prefers to avoid extreme violence… Unless you threaten him or his spy partner, that's for sure.

[abysscronica]

I hope it's ok to ask, I noticed you don't interact with many blogs or fandom discourse in general. Is there a reason?

Okay, I've received a couple of asks and DMs more or less revolving around this topic, so I'm going to address it here.

My blog's main goal is to interact with my existing readers, since all my stories are on AO3 and Wattpad (I've only posted a couple here). I use it to answer your questions on my writings, the characters, and whatever you guys want to ask me, and I love it. Of course I'm happy if I get some more readers from Tumblr, but that's not my primary aim here, at least for now.

It would be great to use this page to expand my followers, but I barely have time to actually write these days, so unfortunately, at the moment, I can't afford to spend any to curate this space... except for answering your asks. (on this regard, I know I'm months late for some, please don't lose hope, everything is there and will be worked on eventually!)

That said, even if I do get time to dedicate to my tumblr at some point, it'll probably be ordering my posts and posting my other stories, not much more. Before I go into more details on my thoughts on fandom discourse and fics/headcanons, let me repeat the usual disclaimer...

The ones below represent my very personal views. They are not right or wrong, and it absolutely does not mean I disapprove of different views. I encourage you all to enjoy the fandom experience and community in the way you see fit, as long as it's not damaging you or anyone else.

Fandom discourse. I... simply don't really care about it. I'm talking mainly about One Piece, but this can apply to any content I enjoy. Here's how my experience goes: I read the manga, the SBS, watch the anime, consume basically any content available. I follow a couple of OP youtubers talking about every little thing, from chapter reviews to any kind of news (Tekking101 and Sawyer7mage). Then I write fanfictions based on all the knowledge accumulated, of course expanding into my personal headcanons. This pretty much satiates my thirst for content and need for sources.

Obviously I enjoy talking about OP with other fans, especially like-minded ones such as Kid Pirates fans. Buuuut being an active part of the community can also be exhausting. I'm sure you know there's a lot of Kid dissing going on for example, and Kid fans are often caught in battles to defend him. I honestly don't want to take part into it, because I don't think other people's feelings about a character should influence my experience of the show anyway, so I don't care about changing their mind either. I just... wanna do my own thing and share it with my mutuals & readers.

Analyses, meta, theories. Honestly, the two OP youtubers I follow (plus Arthur's posts on Twitter) fulfill this need in a very comprehensive way. I've yet to see a single tumblr post that comes even close to their insights (but if you know some, feel free to point me in that direction, I'll be happy to check them out). They often even contain inaccurate information. I do reblog whatever I deem interesting though, and I'll gladly answer to anything if you wanna know about my thoughts.

Fics & headcanons. Once again, I'll always be super happy to share my content with you guys. I cannot accept fic requests but feel free to ask for any headcanon you may be interested in!

As for other people's stuff. I said this before, unfortunately I'm a terribly picky reader (this does not only apply to fics, but to literature in general). The slightest hint of "unjustified" OC, a Mary Sue trait on a MC, too many cliches, a writing style that does not catch me... I'll scroll ahead. I know many will roll their eyes at this, and they are right, but I just won't impose something I don't fully enjoy to myself, not with my limited spare time. But writers should write whatever they want and I'll never be unsupportive of that, even if it's not my jazz! The stuff I read and enjoyed, I reblog.

This should be all I have to say on the matter. If you have any further question, feel free to send and ask.

[belovecore]

Hellooo fellow transformers selfshipper, welcome to the community!! :] For the ask meme, how about ❄️ and 📌 for kraken? -geckokiss

OPEN & ACCEPTING! | Unconventional Selfship Asks

( ooc: aaa, thank you so much! i'm so glad everyones so nice and welcoming here. i haven't really been able to dip into selfshipping as a community before but i feel it'd be nice since i've been wanting to share how important fictional characters are to me. great to see other tf shippers too!!)

[small reminder for readers: zero is me. i sometimes speak in 3rd person for comfort reasons!]

❄️ It is winter time and it snowed for the very first time!

What are the plans for this winter with you and your f/o? Do you plan any outings? How does a typical cold day together look like?

So for these sort of deals, it completely depends on where it takes place but for this ask I will do one where Kraken and Zero are living together on Earth!

Kraken is used to being on spaceships or rather, Cybertron- which is normal for his kind but once he's on Earth and sees snow for the first time. He is immediately intrigued. He literally stood near the window of the large shared garage just to watch it come down while his audials wiggled slightly and he just observed quietly for a few minutes.

He isn't scared as much as it just really excites him to see how a planet's atmosphere can cause different living environments. That's definitely a big plus for his curiosity when he moved to Earth alongside Zero.

Zero doesn't always leave when its winter, very sparingly cause they get cold easily but don't mind if they have motivation and lots of layers to keep warm. Their notice of Kraken's interest gets them to dressed up and take Kraken out to show him snow and all the silly little games humans do in the snow like snow angels, snowmen, snowball fights.

Kraken really likes how inventive humans are all for the sake of fun, and he gladly partakes even though he's not usually too hands-on in activities unless he knows he's comfortable. He's always comfortable around Zero :)

Once that's all said and done, Kraken has no qualms returning to their 'base' as he calls it to warm up. Kraken having to scrape off ice and snow from his pedes so he doesn't track it in but can settle down while Zero cuddles up to him in his lap. He's always so warm, and they get to wear their weighted blanket around them and let Kraken ask them countless questions about winter and snow.

Zero doesn't mind answering and happily explains in full detail to what he asks, and at some point even brings up how humans make special hot drinks just to warm up when it's cold outside! Kraken cannot digest normal human food stuffs but he can get the bare basics and apply it to energon treats for the same effect so they can share a cute hot mug moment together!

Other than that, they tend to stay in and focus on staying together and catching up tv shows since they have time to burn until it's warm again to go outside and explore. Kraken's always been one for exploring once he found out just how big the Earth was and how much life it had. Kraken also has a tendency to talk a lot during shows, but Zero doesn't mind as they both speak outloud statements or questions and the other answers or offers an explanation of what they think as they intake new information from the series.

📌 Your f/o has gotten the idea stuck in their head that they want to write you little notes for you to find throughout the day. They get up early to start hiding all the little notes they have written the past few days.

Where do they hide the notes? Is it places you visit daily or more obscure places so it comes as an extra surprise when you do find them? What's written on them? How does your f/o react whenever you find one?

This is like 100% on the money of something that Kraken would do! He's comfortable showing his love but sometimes he likes to be more creative and just get these sudden ideas to do something cutesy.

Kraken recalls information on how Zero usually goes about their day, especially around him and he places them specifically in places they will go through or find. He sorta did want to go the route of making it like a riddle or treasure hunt but can't help himself and wants to be around when they do find them so he can see their face!

Kraken takes care to put very specific sappy words or sayings on the notes but with a twist. He will put them in morse code and add a key to decipher it!

Zero knows what Kraken's handwriting looks like, very perfectly neat but usually in all caps as he prefers and when they find one they are set on decoding the note to impress Kraken and also do so cause they really wanna know and know how much it means to him.

One after one, Zero gives a soft 'aaw' and chuckle and gives him a soft playful pun back and lots of praise. He loves praise, it makes him melt and his engines rev.

Zero keeps each note in their special binder, nice and organized so they can look back on them and cherish the memory since their memory isn't always so great so it's nice to have something so they have help and can relive those special times.

[tehuti88-art]

11/15/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are an entire family sans one: Unnamed Father; Unnamed Mother; Unnamed Brother; and Unnamed Wife. They're the family of 2nd Lt. Burgundy Rat. Burgundy's father is deceased, and he's estranged from the others during the main story as there was some drama in their past. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their design, Burgundy and his brother largely resemble their father, while Burgundy shares his mother's eye color. And dang I wish I hadn't given his wife such distinctive colors as she barely appears in anything, ah well.

TUMBLR EDIT: Entries modified hereafter to avoid repetition.

When I originally intended to write up Burgundy's entry, something happened to put me off, as you can see in the text. I'm not 100% certain but I believe my art was downvoted. (Edit--not long before this, I'd started taking screengrabs after every time I post art, as this had been happening so frequently, especially with my Trench Rats art for some reason. (Why? Because I'm used to people telling me I must be exaggerating about the amount of hate I inexplicably get online, so now I always get proof.) And yes, Burgundy was downvoted.) Like I said, this was happening very frequently, plus at the time my art tended to attract no other votes, so it was painfully discouraging. I had reason to believe the person I suspect was behind the downvoting was also lurking this Tumblr (maybe he still is, guess I'll find out), as when I would mention downvotes here, they would increase on Reddit. This really wore on me and I ended up never sharing Burgundy's story.

Well...I still don't intend to go into excessive detail, though mainly because much of it is still undeveloped, but I'll finally lay out the basics here, as Burgundy's story largely revolves around his dysfunctional family.

I think Burgundy is born around 1900, maybe a bit earlier. When he's young he's close to his father, because his mother is really overbearing, shrewish, and judgemental, favoring his brother. Burgundy's (that's obviously not his real name but I've never revealed what it is) dad is a kind soul...but also rather weak willed. He pretty much lets his wife run roughshod over him. He's the breadwinner, but just doesn't have it in him to stand up to her. Burgundy and his brother spend many nights lying in bed listening to the sounds of their mother shrieking at him in a rage while he meekly asks her to please lower her voice for the boys' sake, or simply says nothing at all.

Burgundy's brother (I can't recall if he's older or younger at the moment, I think maybe Burgundy is younger but am unsure), since he's favored by their mother, is close to her, and so her mentality infects him as well and he grows rather disdainful of his father. Their dad is only ever good to them though, and Burgundy clings to his kindness as it's really the only kindness he receives. The mother isn't physically abusive or anything like that, but her screaming rage-filled hypercritical attitude wears heavily on both Burgundy and his father. The situation is just tolerable but when Burgundy is still a child it takes a turn. I'm not sure what sort of work the father is involved in, but I'd wanted it to be something white collar like investing or something, I don't understand how it all works, just something involving the state of the stock market. Obviously, what happens can't be the result of the stock market crash of 1929 as that's far too late. Wikipedia tells me of something lesser but still rather devastating called the Panic of 1907. Again, it's pretty over my head, but roughly fits the time period, if Burgundy was indeed born around 1900. So perhaps that's the catalyst, though the family dynamic definitely doesn't help.

Burgundy's father is in his study one day, Burgundy playing or reading by himself, his brother and mother off in another part of the house, when Burgundy hears a loud bang. Puzzled, he heads toward the study, peers inside, but doesn't see his father at his desk. He creeps into the room with a growing sense of unease, calls out, hears nothing, reaches the desk--notices something spreading across the floor. When he steps around the desk he finds his father lying where he fell, eyes staring, gun still clasped loosely in his hand. And so much red, everywhere.

He stands there staring mutely as thumping noises come from behind, and his mother and brother come in, mother also calling out. She screams when she sees what's happened, yells at her other son to leave, rails at her dead husband as a weak selfish man who left them, then unleashes her rage on Burgundy. Her screams that this is somehow his fault finally snap him out of his daze, and he tries to back away from the gruesome scene, only for his mother to grab his arms and shove him forward again--with a gasp and a cry he falls in the growing pool of blood. His mother says he has to stay there, think over what he's done. Burgundy is left sitting in the puddle of his father's blood for what feels like hours, unable to leave, tears streaming down his face as he stares at the body of the one person who loved him. He can't understand why he left...maybe it really was his fault.

Shadows are growing a bit long by the time police enter the study and find him. The mother had tried to put them off, yet neighbors had heard the shot and called them to investigate. They're stunned by the sight of Burgundy sitting in his father's blood; the mother says he ran in there and stayed of his own will, and the brother backs her up, yet they call child welfare services anyway. A social worker talks with Burgundy, yet he doesn't offer much to counter the story that was already given, so in the end his mother is allowed to retain custody of him. His father's body is removed, there's a funeral, life resumes. Burgundy is mute and withdrawn for quite a while, grappling with both the loss and his own perceived role in it; he's just a kid, of course he believes his mother and that it's his fault somehow, even if he can't understand why. His mind eventually constructs its own explanations, and he's weighed down by the guilt that he couldn't have saved him. He starts to fixate on this thought.

His mother doesn't target him nearly as much afterward, mostly ignoring him instead, though she still snaps at him or cuffs his ear if they cross paths. He learns to simply avoid her, and keeps to himself, spending most of his time reading. When able, he stays hours at the public library, investing most of his time in medical and anatomy textbooks; what if he'd been able to help his father, get there soon enough, stop the bleeding, save his life? The more he reads, the more he realizes such a thing never would have been possible; yet still. It's just human to dwell on all the things we wish we could have done, all the ways it could've been different.

Burgundy's brother is another matter. As he gets older he develops a mean streak, and takes that out on Burgundy, mostly in the form of taunts and cruel pranks. He spatters Burgundy with red sauce one day as a joke, but doesn't expect the dramatic reaction he gets; Burgundy promptly suffers a panic attack, gasping and cringing away from the sauce as if he's been burned. His brother's no idiot, he realizes immediately what's happened: The sauce looks just like blood. Burgundy just had some sort of flashback to what happened to their father.

Burgundy does what he can to just avoid his own family. Gets older, keeps learning and teaching himself, does various jobs to earn money in addition to that which his father left in his will (he knows his mother isn't happy about that, but can't do anything about it). He has a plan by now and intends to stick to it. As soon as he comes of age and inherits the savings his father left him, he moves out, rents a small apartment, keeps earning while living frugally; he doesn't need much. He's effectively cut off from his mother now, she never writes or visits; his brother drops by now and then to see how he is and offer a few jabs (before reporting back to their mother). Burgundy is always cold but polite, not interested in drama. On one visit his brother notices the big books and lengthy notes Burgundy has spread all over the table, and looks over them curiously. "Medical books...?" he says, then spots some coursework Burgundy's been filling out. He blinks in surprise. "Surgery," he blurts out; "You're learning to be a surgeon??" He brays with laughter. "You're terrified of blood! And now you want to be a surgeon?" Burgundy holds his tongue until his brother finally leaves, laughing the entire way--"A surgeon scared of blood! Good luck with that!"--and returns his focus to his studies. He pointedly refuses to answer the door the next time his brother visits, however, and eventually is left alone. He becomes good at completely cutting people out of his life when it suits him...I guess you could say with surgical precision.

He manages to make his way through medical school, despite his inconvenient handicap (he's actually mostly okay with blood, it's large amounts or spattering/spraying blood that makes him panic). Enlists and becomes a military surgeon. Meets the woman who becomes his wife...though his brother insinuates himself back into his life, again, with nothing but ill intentions. Burgundy's wife is a pretty decent person overall (a detail that wasn't always so in my concept of her), but her personality is much the opposite of his own; she's quite outgoing, and can be rather pushy. Plus it doesn't sit well with her that Burgundy is so often late at work and she's largely left on her own all day long. Well, you can probably see where this is going. Burgundy's brother makes a point of visiting while Burgundy is working and does his best to win Unnamed Wife over, not because he's genuinely interested in her, but simply out of malice. Unnamed Wife puts him off for a while, but her husband's lengthy absences wear on her, she's lonely, and of course Unnamed Brother plants the suggestion in her mind that maybe her husband doesn't care about her that much, maybe he's just selfish.

He wears her down enough that she finally welcomes his attention. It's just everyone's bad luck that Burgundy returns home unexpectedly at that point, and hears what's going on. (I don't think the two actually go through with the deed, though they get close, and of course Unnamed Brother has some things to say behind Burgundy's back.) Burgundy doesn't confront them, instead he does what he does best: Gathers a few necessities, and walks out of their lives forever. I already mentioned he's good at cutting people off, and doesn't bother giving second chances; once you've betrayed his trust, that's pretty much it, you're dead to him, no muss, no fuss. Unnamed Wife hears the door close, realizes Burgundy must have heard them, hurries out--smoothing down her hair and dress--to see him and explain. Of course he's already gone. She tells Unnamed Brother to leave, feeling contrite, and sits up to wait for his return, hoping to make things right.

Well...it takes a couple of days before she realizes her husband is apparently not coming home. Unsure where he's staying, she visits the military facility where he works. Is shuttled from one person to another until she finally ends up with a gunnery sergeant named Evans; she begs for what feels like the dozenth time to know where Burgundy is, so she can talk to him. Evans seems surprised--and confused--to learn that she's his wife. "I'm...I'm not sure I understand," he says, "you're saying you haven't talked with him--? For how long now?" When she says it's been a couple of days, can he please show her to Burgundy's office so she can speak with him?--Evans furrows his brow. "I'm not sure how to tell you this...but he's not here. He shipped out yesterday." "Shipped out--?" Unnamed Wife echoes, confused. Evans nods: "To Germany." And adds, "He didn't tell you anything...?"

In Unnamed Wife's absence: A sergeant named Camo, seeking volunteers for his new battalion, is advised of someone who might fill the role of surgeon. Burgundy outranks Camo and his corporal, Drake, yet Camo offers him the job anyway. Burgundy accepts--and the battalion's recruits start shipping out immediately, to establish a headquarters and try to locate a missing American unit. Burgundy departs American soil without ever informing his wife of where he's going. He never attempts to contact her, and she has no way to contact him. After a long enough period has passed with no communication, Unnamed Wife reluctantly files for divorce for abandonment, and the marriage ends.

There's a moment when Burgundy is attempting to coax a freed camp prisoner, Helena Urbach, out of her crippling grief over the loss of her husband and child; she can sense that the Trench Rat surgeon is entreating her from a position of experience. She asks him who he lost; he replies, "Everyone." Obviously, the circumstances are not the same--Burgundy's family, aside from his father, are presumably still alive--but it drives home the fact that, in his mind, they may as well be dead. He doesn't feel this way out of spite or any desire for them to actually be dead; it's just the way his emotions work, cutting out the source of the pain like someone would cut out a tumor, a sort of self-preservation. In Burgundy's mind, he really has lost everyone, and although he would never admit it, he really does grieve them all.

Lance Corporal Lyndsey Skye is a member of the British military who ends up incorporated into the Trench Rats as a nurse serving in the medical ward headed by Burgundy. It becomes clear pretty early on that the two have feelings for each other, though Burgundy remains standoffish and distrustful; he finds it preferable to be alone rather than to be hurt, and he finds it difficult to believe Skye would be interested in him (he's not good at picking up signals). She figures out that the more assertive and domineering a woman is, the more cowed and withdrawn Burgundy becomes--so she backs off and gives him his space. When the Trench Rats meet up with a partisan group led by Didrika--the very definition of an assertive and domineering woman, and well known for attempting to seduce most men she comes in contact with--Skye warns her to not even try this with Burgundy when he arrives. Didrika rather jeeringly inquires why not?--has Skye called dibs on him? There's a brief silence while Skye stares Didrika down--before smacking her across the face. HARD. Everyone within earshot freezes, eyes goggling--even Didrika looks back at Skye in open disbelief. In addition to being known for her promiscuity, Didrika's known as someone not to mess with if you want to live, and almost nobody ever stands up to her. Skye holds her stare, however, and the look on her face is such that Didrika knows better than to push the issue...she sulkily backs down, and is on her best behavior when Burgundy shows up moments later. Negotiations carry on with Burgundy being none the wiser regarding what just happened and how Skye protected him.

Burgundy is badly shaken late in the story when he fails to avert Teal Rat's suicide; Teal jabs a scalpel in his neck, and shakes his head when Burgundy tries to stop him from pulling it back out--the two make eye contact, and it's plain that Teal doesn't want to be saved. It's a horrible, bloody scene--Burgundy fears for the welfare of Corporal Drake, who witnesses it from the next bed, until Drake promises him later that he doesn't intend to do the same--but it's the sight of pure resignation and loss of hope in Teal's eyes that hits Burgundy even harder than the blood. He knows his father must have felt similar--he wouldn't have left him behind otherwise--and it hurts to know he died having no one to share his despair with. Teal's death feels like yet another personal failure. Skye is present during the incident; she hurries forward when Burgundy yells, pulls the curtain around the bed to cut off Drake's view, tries to help with Teal, and after a few moments has to convince Burgundy to cease lifesaving efforts as Teal is gone. She understands everything that happens. So, it's only natural that Burgundy turns to her at that point, and she doesn't turn him away.

Burgundy and Skye remain partners, both professionally and personally, after the war.

Please see also the entries for Unnamed Mother, Unnamed Brother, and Unnamed Wife, in addition to Burgundy's and Lyndsey Skye's.

[Unnamed Father (Burgundy) 2024 [‎Friday, ‎November ‎15, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:15 AM]]

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

I can always count on Star to come through with some great comments, even on fics that she has read before <33333

I will always add you to the taglist!!!! you deserve it <333

I will always make the reader implied to be plus sized because there are too many reader characters that are implicitly skinny and the universe needs BALANCE (even if this isn't balance, but one tiny thumb on a scale weighing ten pounds on the other side, I don't care)

Reader is plus sized, has a cat, wears dresses and tights, is nuts about studying.... I may have modelled this Reader after me in high school because watching Teen Wolf again made me a tad bit nostalgic for high school lmao

Reader's special move is Throw Large Rocks :) so when she is threatened by werewolves and other monsters she does it again and it WORKS

You forgot about the Scott/Stiles fight at the beginning - so did I!!! And then it ended up with me getting distracted for like ten minutes while trying to edit because I was thinking about a Stiles/Reader/Scott threesome where they agree to share instead of letting the fighting ruin their friendship and then they ambush Reader by having Scott tonguefuck her mouth while Stiles undoes her pants and then starts touching her

FAT READER WITH THICK THIGH SUPREMACY BABEYYY !!!!

AND HE'D CUM JUST WITH THAT TOO !!!!!! RUTTING IN TO THE BED !!!!! LIKE A DOG !!!! -> SO REEEEEAALL

"this was how most of your friendship went - you told him what to do, and he did it" I've always wanted a dog 🥰🥰🥰🥰 -> this made me LAUGH SO HARD and also IT'S SO FUCKING TRUE. walk him like a dog bitch <33

"But none of it seemed to garner any more of your attention than usual" BECAUSE SHE ALREADY LIKED YOU !!!! YOU INSECURE MORON !!!! (me too, im like that too) -> tbh I hadn't even considered this, but it's SO FUCKING TRUUUE

"He didn’t have the attention span to notice that said textbook was in a stack along with your own" IDIOT ! IDIOT ! IDIOT ! BOOBY TRAP ????? MORE LIKE PUSSY TRAP ! IDIOT ! -> again this is FUCKING HILARIOUS OMG

"pussy being covered in soft hair" SO REAL !!!! Stiles actually goes "🥺 she looks cold" if you ever shave everything off -> SHE LOOKS COLD you're gonna fucking make me choke on my own spit laughing omg

"He was a man of simple, divine tastes" Fat Girls on Top (of him preferably) -> YES EXACTLY !!!!!!!!

"Shamefully, it was already half empty, mostly due to the fantasies that he had about you" hey twice a day every day isnt for the faint of heart -> STILES IS A CHAMPION !!!! even if it's not always in lacrosse lmao

"knowing that he was quite a ‘splasher’" okay we need to sit down and discuss IN DETAIL these men and their cock + cum -> this feels like something for my inbox lmao

"Good boys get rewards and bad boys get spanked" WE'RE SO MEAN !!!! IN WAYS HE DOESNT EVEN REALIZE YET !!!! -> Stiles is like 'oh she's just joking' - HE IS SUCH AN IDIOT !!!! SUCH. AN. IDIOT

"If he was any sort of brave, he would have pushed it more and asked you what kind of ‘reward’ you had in mind" Stiles, you are your own worst enemy -> HE REALLY IS OMG. like honey, just push it a little bit more (and the fact that Jackson ends up being his hero in this instance ???)

"Yes, there is a sequel for this fic in my drafts" laughs evilly in nepo baby -> FANFICTION NEPOTISM IS ALIVE AND WELL. you are the fanfiction nepo baby lmao. it's one of my favourite things <33

BRAINWASHED

Virgin!Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader

Everything’s clean - except for my thoughts. (Thinking about me getting you off.)

Can’t stop thinking you got me B R A I N W A S H E D .

Summary:

Stiles likes you. He really, really, really likes you. It's bordering on obsession, but he likes to believe that he has it under control.

So when you accidentally leave a pair of your panties in his presence, ripe for the taking, and they're in his backpack faster than he can blink - he realizes that he might not have it as under control as he would like to think. But he can't find it to be too much of a problem when he has those panties wrapped around his cock.

Virgin!Stiles Stilinski x Best Friend!Fem!Reader. Pining!Stiles/One Sided Fantasies. Panty Stealing. Smut/PWP.

Word Count: 8,000

Teen Wolf Masterlist | AO3 Link

Full list of warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: the reader uses she/her pronouns and is described as having a vagina; Stiles and the reader have been best friends since childhood and they are in high school now (they are both the same age) (for argument's sake, they are both 18, but the horny parts were motivated by the hotness of a 20-something actor so idc what age you interpret the characters as); the reader's looks are mostly undescribed and left neutral in terms of race, hair texture/colour, height, etc. however the reader is implied to be fat/plus sized; mentions of the reader wearing dresses and tights (things that the other characters on the show would typically wear); mentions of the reader having a cat - I did not give the cat a name so you can imagine it's the same as your cat's name/what you would want your cat to be called if you had one; use of Y/N and L/N (as in Last Name); brief mention that the reader would like wearing bikinis; the reader calls Stiles 'good boy' in non-sexual contexts and it turns him on; mentions of Stiles looking up the reader's skirt when she doesn't know it; some slight dubious consent because Stiles steals the reader's underwear without her consent and uses them in a sexual act (his masturbation); masturbation (Stiles touching himself); this is a one-sided/pining fic - all the sexual acts take place inside Stiles's mind as sexual fantasies while he masturbates; the reader character is described in these sexual acts as they play out in his mind, so that's why she is included heavily in the warnings; Stiles is submissive (even in his own fantasies) and he fantasies about the reader being dominant toward him; Stiles becoming aroused by the idea of the reader not shaving her pussy; technically there is edging - because Stiles edges himself to make his fantasies last longer; panty sniffing (though the panties Stiles took are freshly launder and not used ones); scent kink/sweat kink - Stiles likes the way you smell, including your sweat; kinks and sexual acts mentioned only in Stiles's fantasies (taking place only in his mind in this fic): car sex (in the back of the Jeep (typical, I know)), fingering (reader receiving), degradation kink (Stiles receiving - he likes the idea of the reader insulting him and being mean to him); pussy eating (Stiles fantasizes in depth about this); Reader makes a joke about spanking Stiles and Stiles has a small fantasy about being spanked by her; I think that's finally it.

A/N: Title for the fic comes from the song Brainwashed by Waterparks. Warning - Stiles might be a bit OOC in this because I wrote it before I started re-watching Teen Wolf again (and before I started watching Season 1 for the first time, because previously I had only seen 3B and beyond). In this, I have said that he's flunking classes and he's not really great with studying, while in the show, he's really smart and bookish and really well studied - but it could just be chalked up to the fact that he has a huge crush on the Reader that is distracting him from studying. So, interpret it how you want. I hope that you enjoy it, and please read through to my end notes to find out about a potential sequel to the fic!!

...

Stiles was hopeless. 

That was the only way to describe his current state of being. Completely, utterly hopeless. 

He was a complete and total loser, hopelessly in love with his best friend. And he was getting more stupidly caught up in that crush every single day. And of course, he didn’t even have the courage to admit his feelings for you so that it could be awkwardly out in the open. So that the two of you could get the rejection part over with, at least. 

Basically - his feelings for you were slowly ruining his life. 

Stiles had been in love with you for as long as he could remember. Well, maybe not that long. 

See, you, him, and Scott had all been friends since the beginning of kindergarten, and naturally, Stiles always liked you as a person. He always thought of you as a good friend, even if he gravitated toward Scott more.  

But he distinctly remembered the first moment when he had started to develop a crush on you. It was a very special memory to him - the day when you shifted in his eyes from annoying, slightly nagging friend to a beautiful, fierce woman. 

It was the day when the three of you were out on Halloween night during the third grade - and that was around the time people started whispering about crushes in school, when people would have playground girlfriends and boyfriends that they broke up with every other week. That night, a group of eighth grade bullies began chasing the three of you, trying to take your candy. 

Without hesitation, you picked up the largest rock in sight and threw it at one of them, causing a large cut across his forehead - and you loudly told them to ‘fuck off’ (the first time Stiles had ever heard such a word when it wasn’t coming from his dad). They had run away, somehow terrified of a girl a foot shorter than them. 

That night, you had become his hero. 

And since then, you had been the only object of his affections. 

Of course, over the years, Stiles had plenty of opportunities to tell you about his feelings for you. He just… always felt too cowardly to do so. 

In seventh grade, he had come very close to asking you out to the winter dance - only to have Scott beat him to the punch. When he pulled Scott aside to ask him about it, Scott confessed to him that he also had a crush on you. This resulted in their first ever fistfight. The first ever true rift in their otherwise close, brotherly friendship. 

The boys didn’t speak to each other for days. Which, naturally, annoyed the hell out of you. Especially because, of course, neither of them told you why they were fighting, not wanting you to know that you were the source of the rift in their friendship. And to you, this only made the fight seem more stupid and immature. 

So finally, when you demanded it, they called a truce. They agreed that they didn’t want to lose their friendship or lose you. They didn’t want to make you choose between them when it wouldn’t make any of you happy. 

So Stiles proposed that the three of you should go to the dance as friends, which you loved, and they both got you a corsage, one for each wrist - and the three of you still laughed at the pictures of you holding each of their arms. 

Eventually, Scott grew out of his crush on you and moved onto other girls, and he loved that he got to keep you as a close best friend, someone he could go to for dating advice if needed. Scott kept trying to convince Stiles to simply ‘man up’ and tell you about his feelings, but Stiles kept that same sentiment they had concluded upon years ago. Telling you about his feelings would only ruin the friendship. Not just between you, but between the entire group - it would fuck up the pack. 

Though it felt like the more he tried to ignore his feelings for you, the more they festered like a tumor. While Scott was able to mature past his crush on you, Stiles only grew more intense, and more insane when it came to his ‘crush’ on you. 

Over the years, his crush on you had grown from something sweet and childish into something much more. When puberty truly took over and lust was added into the mix, he now had to deal with the fact that you had grown into a gorgeous woman. He could barely control his arousal when looking at you, hearing your voice, smelling you, talking to you, thinking about you - even simply being in your presence made something in his mind melt. And it was growing much worse with each passing day. There wasn’t a day that went by that he didn’t wake up with a raging boner fueled by sexual dreams of you. 

And naturally, he would say that not telling you about his feelings for you was ultimately the best thing for him. He would steadfastly refuse to admit that him being distracted by all these fantasies of you was slowly eroding your friendship from the inside out. Slowly, bit by bit, his worst fears were coming true - your friendship was being ruined by his crush anyway. 

But he tried to ignore that. Even if you were the most gorgeous, perfect being ever put on the planet, he tried his hardest to simply enjoy the platonic version of you. He tried to act like he wasn’t stupidly, head over heels in love with you. 

He tried not to act like it. 

But on nights like this, it was just so hard. 

Tonight, the two of you were studying for an upcoming English mid-term that would be worth a decent portion of your final grade. 

Logically, Stiles knew that he should have locked himself in his room and forced himself to study independently. Or he should have taken up Scott on his offer to study with him and Allison. 

But no, he just had to ask you for your ‘help’. 

And you pitied him and said yes, because he was doing poorly in the class. The only reason for that being because it was one of the classes that he shared with you, and he spent all of his damn time staring at you across the room during it. He had tried to tell himself that he really would study tonight, that he would really take advantage of your intelligence here and now to get his shit together in order to up his grade. 

But no. That was just one of many daily lies that he told himself. Since the moment he had set foot in your bedroom that afternoon (and it was dark out now, well into the evening) - he hadn’t been able to focus on anything but you. 

Sure, sometimes that worked to his benefit. Hearing you recite Shakespeare, the words coming off your sweet lips - it did force him to focus on the material at hand for at least a short period of time. But it wasn’t like he was actually retaining any of it. He was just thinking about how gorgeous your voice sounded and how amazing you would be in an adaptation of Romeo and Juliet. One where he played Romeo, of course - and he would get to use someone else’s well-crafted words to romance you, finally getting to kiss you for the first time. 

Again - he was hopeless. 

Currently, Stiles was laying diagonally on your bed, sitting among a mess of books - the English textbooks, the assigned novels, the published copies of the play, along with binders of your notes and other notebooks, stray papers. He couldn’t pay attention to the notes he was supposed to be writing, not for a moment, not if his life depended on it. Not when you looked this stunningly beautiful while busy writing your own notes. 

With the soft lighting from your bedside lamp brushing across your skin, making that skin look even softer, you were a goddess-like vision sitting on the bed across from him. You were wearing the simple dress that you had worn to school earlier that day, your modest tights since shed off in the name of ‘comfort’ (and so that your cat wouldn’t rip holes in them while crawling across your lap, you had remarked to Stiles). When you had stood at your hamper and peeled them off your legs, Stiles had a hard time not letting the drool spill out across his chin. 

Your thighs were gorgeous. Thick, wide, spread out like a buffet for his eyes to feast on every single time you sat down. From his angle, laying down the way he was, he was up close and personal with the dimpling cellulite and stretchmarks you had there. The hem of your dress had ridden up when you had adjusted your position to get comfortable, and he felt absolutely spoiled by how much more of your thighs were revealed to him. 

A few times throughout the evening, he had to physically clench his fingers, tight, to remind himself not to reach out and touch. To remind himself that he wasn’t allowed to touch. The last thing he wanted to do was to creep you out by randomly reaching out and touching your thigh. But he wanted so badly to touch. 

How many times had he imagined what those thighs would look like bouncing and jiggling while you rode his cock? How many times had he imagined those thighs clamped around his head while he licked your pussy? (Far too many times for the good of his own sanity.) 

Not to mention the concentration spread across your face - you were so fucking hot when you showed off your intelligence. Hell everything about you was hot - your sweetness, your laughter, your sarcasm, even your bitchy side. But your bookish side had to be one of Stiles’s favorites. 

The way you would nibble your own lip when thinking, the way your brows furrowed slightly in thought. Everything about you - from the bra strap sticking out of the neckline of your dress to the chipped edge of your nail polish where you had chewed on it - you were a fucking vision. And Stiles couldn’t take his eyes off you, no matter how hard he tried. 

It was a wonder that you didn’t notice Stiles staring at you - not as often as he did it. 

Stiles felt strangely caught when you put down your pen and looked up from your notebook, then. He quickly scrambled to grab his own pencil and start writing something, to look busy. But of course, he just looked like more of an idiot when the eraser end began scraping across the page in nonsense patterns. 

“Stiles,” You scolded him with a sigh, a way he was used to hearing his name come off your lips. “Have you gotten anything done? I told you to copy down at least half my notes-” 

Of course. You pegged his blank page as simple laziness, rather than his brain slowly melting out through his ears due to his inability to think about anything but you (especially when he was in the same room as you). At least he hadn’t been caught staring at you in that creepy way yet. 

You snatched up his notebook to check his work, and his heart dropped - if you looked too carefully, then he would be caught. In the back of that notebook, there were about three pages of his name and yours in hearts, and a few times he had practiced writing his signature as ‘Mr Stiles L/N’. (He was a feminist, and he liked the idea of starting a new tradition.) There was even a drawing he had made designing your theoretical wedding cake, including a cake topper where he was Superman and you were riding on his back while he was flying. 

“Y/N, uh-” 

He quickly snatched the notebook back, causing a glare from you while he sighed in defeat. 

“Fine.” He shrugged, knowing that he had to admit to a smaller crime in order to cover up the larger one. It was something that he did with his father all too often. “I didn’t get anything done. I was slacking off. You caught me.” 

“Stiles!” You scolded him again, reaching out to gently smack his shoulder. “If you keep this shit up, you’re never gonna graduate!” 

Sadly, you were probably right. His crush on you was absolutely going to ruin him. 

“Well, you could just let me copy off you,” He replied, giving you a wide grin that let you know he was mostly kidding. 

You rolled your eyes in reply, and soon your gaze caught sight of the clock on your nightstand. 

“Well, it seems like you have wasted enough of my time for tonight.” You scoffed sarcastically. 

Stiles knew that you had intended this to be a joke - but he couldn’t help the twinge of pain the words caused in his gut. The idea that he was truly just a waste of time in your life. He pressed his lips tightly together to suppress a frown and didn’t say anything more, and then you continued. 

“It’s almost your curfew anyway.” You pointed out, gesturing toward the clock. You were right. Stiles hadn’t even noticed how late it was getting - too busy enjoying his time with you. “We’ll pack it up for the night - but you should meet me at the library tomorrow morning, early, so we can go over everything again before the exam.” 

Of course, you were still invested in the idea of him getting a good grade, even if that seemed unlikely to happen. 

“You’re gonna make me get up early?” He whined, hating the idea of missing out on even ten extra minutes of sleep. 

“Yes.” You stressed. “I want you there at seven o’clock. Sharp.” 

Your ultra serious voice ordering him around was undeniably a turn-on for him. No matter what sexual fantasies Stiles cooked up about you in his mind, he could never picture himself having full control over you. In fact, most of the time, he found himself covered in cum at the idea of you having complete control over him. And it was likely because this was how most of your friendship went - you told him what to do, and he did it. And that was a huge part of why he fell for you in the first place. 

When he didn’t verbally confirm the time, too caught up in his infatuation yet again, you let out a gentle growl of frustration. 

“Stiles!” You called out his name. “You have to be there at seven. So you can’t get out of bed at seven - you have to set your alarm for like six-thirty, got it? Don’t make me come over there and get your ass out of bed like last time.” 

This thought caused Stiles’s stomach to clench. 

The last time you had come to his house to wake him up for school (because he had agreed to help you with some bakesale project and you were pissed off that he wasn’t there early to help you set up tables and whatnot) - you had charged into his house in a fury. You had your own key, of course, and his dad wasn’t there to busy you with conversation or pleasantries. 

And you charged right up the stairs and nearly caught him with a hand around his cock, jerking off to a picture of you in a bikini from the summer before. And he had rushed to shove the picture in his nightstand and cocoon himself in the comforter to hide his body just as you made it to the top of the stairs, shouting at him for being late. Luckily, he had gotten away with the lie that he had slept in, rather than revealing the truth that he had been distracted because he had woken up with morning wood after having a heated dream about you. 

When Stiles didn’t respond yet again, you grabbed a smaller decorative pillow from behind you and lightly hit him with it for emphasis, causing him to burst into laughter. 

“Promise me you’ll be on time!” You said, smacking him with the pillow again. 

“Yes, yes! I promise!” He finally agreed, his face becoming pink from laughter. 

You dropped the pillow then, and leaned down, causing his eyes to inadvertently go straight to your cleavage while you gave him a gentle, friendly kiss on the forehead. 

“Good boy.” You responded, praising him for agreeing to your terms. Obviously, it was another joke. 

But these praising words combined with your lips even slightly brushing against his skin, along with your tits dangling so close to his face, had his cock swelling to hardness nearly instantly. He grabbed the pillow then, trying to look subtle as he put it over his crotch, desperately trying to hide the very obvious bulge that had popped up at the front of his jeans within seconds. 

He was lucky when you shifted your attention away from him, now busy with cleaning off the bed, gathering your textbooks in a pile and moving to put them on your desk in the corner. You being distracted gave him a few moments to try and mentally will his dick down, which worked slightly. Only slightly. 

“You could help me, you know.” You mocked him lightly - distracting him from his thoughts of baseball, trying to will the blood out of his cock. 

He looked up and saw you standing there with his backpack, putting away his textbooks and notebooks now. He had been so dumbly distracted by his own dick that he hadn’t noticed you taking the kind initiative to clean up his things for him too. 

“Right, sorry.” He jumped into action and did so, taking things from your hands and shoving them into his bag with haste. 

“You don’t have to rush out, I just need the bed cleared off so I can pick out my clothes for tomorrow.” You told him. 

“Wait - you actually pick out your clothes in advance?” He asked, thinking that this was entirely adorable, and explained why you were always so well dressed. 

(And it explained why you were always so punctual in the mornings while Stiles was usually a mess - running around his house still half-asleep, shoving his head into a shirt that he had sniffed to see if it was clean, shoving things frantically into his bag in order to get out the door five minutes late.) 

“Well you know not all of us are okay with just throwing on last week’s mustard stained tee shirt,” You said, playfully pointing to a mustard stain that he had on his shirt from lunch. 

He rolled his eyes in return, trying to ignore the slight twist of embarrassment that wanted to swell up inside of him at the comment. 

There had been a point where he used to make a very pointed effort to impress you. Back when his crush on you had first gotten serious - likely around the beginning of high school. He used to get up early every single morning, spending a lot of time being intensely picky about the clothes he wore. He drowned himself in cologne (until you had complained about it), he wore certain colors just because you mentioned liking them. But none of it seemed to garner any more of your attention than usual. 

And so, he resigned himself to be the loser best friend who would always just float at the corners of your life, drowning in his secret affection for you until some better, hotter guy came along and swept you off your feet one day. 

He was just glad that day hadn’t come yet. 

Stiles was hesitant to leave - he wasn’t done being around you for the day yet, too emotionally attached. But he guessed that he would need to get some decent sleep before waking up at the asscrack of dawn in order to see more of you the next morning. (Even if it would include the horrors of studying at the library.) 

“So - I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” He posed, ready to take his leave as he swung his backpack over his shoulder. 

“Ooh, wait one second.” You said, eagerness twinging through your voice. 

His heart pounded hard in his chest for a moment, wondering if this could be the moment he had been waiting so long for - would you stop him there, grab him by the shoulders and kiss him hard, and then tell him that you had been feeling the exact same way as he had for all these years? 

“Which one?” You asked, spinning around from your closet to face him, holding up two dresses on hangers. 

Oh. You were asking for his opinion about what you should wear to school the next day. 

“The blue one.” Stiles said, motioning towards it. “That shade of blue looks beautiful on you - it compliments your skin tone well, and it makes you shine. But ya know, you look gorgeous in everything. You could wear a paper bag to school and everyone would still be jealous of how amazing you look.” 

He rambled on for a moment too long, and realized that his genuine fondness for you - something straying too far into romantic territory - was slipping out. 

“But - uh, yeah. I’ll see you later.” He quickly added on, now eager to leave before you could make any further comments. 

Then he dashed out of your room and down the stairs, getting out the front door so fast that he practically left a poof of cartoon dust behind him. 

He got into the Jeep and tossed his bag into the passenger’s seat - which, he hadn’t realized was not even zipped up. (A habit you often scolded him for - going around with his bag unzipped.) Papers and books spilled across the seat and underneath it, and he let out a loud growl of frustration. 

“Idiot!” He screamed, scolding himself as he leaned down, trying to clean everything up. “Idiot, idiot, idiot!” 

Partially, he was feeling so idiotic because he had just been so vulnerable with you and you probably thought he was weird for it. Actually, that was mostly why. 

As he was picking up his things, he realized that - yup, he was missing his English textbook. He had forgotten it in your room. He heaved out a sigh and collapsed back against his seat. He could leave without it - but then he would get an earful from you in the morning about how he was ‘forgetful’ and ‘irresponsible’. Ugh. 

He got out of the Jeep again and shuffled his way back into your house - your mom was working late, so there was nobody there to question him running out of the house at top speed and then appearing back so soon. All he got was a curious chirp and a head tilt from your cat, who was sitting on the top of the stairs. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Stiles remarked to the animal, stopping for a moment to pet him. “I’m pathetic. But you can’t rat me out, okay? I know she thinks highly of your opinion and I need you to put in a good word for me. Got it?” 

The cat purred and pushed his face into Stiles’s hand, so he assumed that was a positive affirmation that he would root for Stiles - or at the very least, keep his secret. 

Stiles linger for a moment to scratch the cat’s furry cheek, and then he stepped over the cat and made his way back toward your room. He passed the closed bathroom door and heard the shower running, and he almost cheered. If you were in the shower, then you wouldn’t notice him slipping back in to grab his book, so you couldn’t scold him for being a forgetful idiot. 

He went into your room, and the second he made it through the mouth of your open bedroom, his eyes locked onto your bed like a hot target. Your clothes for the following day were spread out so neatly, and right there, on top of the blue dress he had suggested - there was a pair of lacy purple panties that were something right out of one of his fantasies. 

Stiles had thought about your underwear before - many times. Too many times to count. 

He had even caught small, passing glimpses of your underwear before - when you had worn dresses without tights and bent over in front of him. But he had only seen enough of it to determine the color, not to know if it was lacy or silk or cotton. And even that was enough to send him into a tailspin that had him rushing to the bathroom to relieve his aching cock. 

In the back of his mind - or truly, the forefront of his mind whenever he jerked off to thoughts of you - he always wondered what kind of underwear you wore. What kind of decorative wrapping your pretty pussy would come in if he ever got the other-worldly privilege of getting his hands up your skirt. 

Would they be simple, practical cotton underwear? Would they be cute? Would they be sinfully sexy? Would they be those underwear with the days of the week written across the front? 

But seeing this now - seeing the tangible evidence in front of him that you actually planned to wear purple lacy lingerie to school - it was something that had all sense draining from his mind as blood rushed to his cock once again. He barely had time to think about it - and he didn’t think about it. Because then, they were in his hands, in his pocket, and he was back in the Jeep, hiding his stolen goods in his bag and hastily zipping it up so he could slam his foot on the gas and race home. 

He didn’t even have a chance to think about the fact that he left without the textbook that he had gone back into your room looking for. He didn’t have the attention span to notice that said textbook was in a stack along with your own - almost as if purposefully kept there like an excuse to lure him back into your room, rather than clumsily forgotten by him. 

… 

When Stiles got into his room, he slammed his bedroom door shut behind him, now entirely frantic, and thankful that his father was working a late shift again. He sat down on the edge of his bed, his hands shaking with anticipation as he unzipped his bag and pulled out the thing he had so hastily snagged. 

His mind was warring with so many sensations. Guilt for taking the panties, paranoia that he would get caught, shame that he even had the urge to take them in the first place - but all of that was easily toppled over and forgotten in the name of lust. Overwhelming lust and arousal that he felt for you. Greed and joy at knowing that he had something so private of yours in his hands now - something so secret that he shouldn’t have. A perfect little piece of you. 

His little secret piece of you. 

He still couldn’t believe that this was the kind of underwear you wore on a daily basis. 

Just imagining that this was what you wore to school - thinking about the fact that this was what you were wearing under your clothes during your everyday interactions with him: it drove him wild. 

He easily pictured this pretty lace sticking to your cunt when you were wet, the lavender colored material getting slick and slightly darker, soaked through and visibly sticky when you spread your legs for him to see. He wondered if your pussy would be shaved or not - but you didn’t have a boyfriend, so currently, you didn’t have anybody to shave for. 

He remembered a conversation from a few weeks ago where Scott had wondered if he should shave his pubes for Allison and you had remarked that ‘putting a razor near your junk’ was ‘ill-advised and stupid’ - so you probably didn’t even like shaving your pussy on principle. 

This immediately put a picture in his mind of your pussy being covered in soft hair that matched the shade on your head - maybe a bit darker. It would clump together with your juices and become soaked when you got wet. The little hairs would probably stick out cutely from the sides of the bikini cut underwear, peeking at him. 

Your pussy would be the prettiest thing he had ever seen, he knew that for certain. 

Stiles imagined getting you in the backseat of the Jeep one night after a game. 

He would still be covered in sweat from his efforts, worn out from trying his best. Sure, he wasn’t the best player, but you wanted to ‘reward’ him for his efforts on the winning side, even if he hadn’t directly contributed to the win. 

So as soon as the game was over, before he even had time to change out of his pads or shower, you hauled him to the parking lot and shoved him into the car. His gear was only half-off, ditched hastily by your feet, and you were in his lap - a perfect prize after all the hard work he had done, sitting astride his already sore thigh muscles while you kissed him - hard. Your mouth greedily sucked the oxygen out of his lungs while you shoved your tongue past his lips, painting his tongue with your sweet spit - and fuck, it felt like he was made for this. 

He got sucked so deep into the fantasy - it felt so damn real. 

He imagined having his hands splayed out against your beautiful, plump ass, gripping you tightly, noting wanting you to separate from him for even a section. While you held on tightly to his face, sealing him into the kiss until his lips were sore. And you would only pull back to look into his eyes with glossy desperation and utter out: 

“Please, Stiles. I need you. I need you to touch my pussy.” 

And what else could he do but obey? 

So he would lift up your skirt - a particularly short skirt that you had worn with nothing else but a pair of knee-high socks. Something that you knew he loved to see you cheer for him on the sidelines while wearing. Even though it was a chilly night, you couldn’t feel too cold when you saw him glancing at you every single chance he got. Of course, those distracted stares had gotten him screamed at by Coach more than once. But he loved the way your skirt would flutter up in the nighttime breeze, teasing him. The way the fucking beautiful thick fat of your thighs would jiggle whenever you would jump around in order to cheer him on. 

He was a man of simple, divine tastes. 

So - he would lift up that perfect skirt to find those purple lacy panties underneath; to find the perfection of your wet cunt waiting for him, growing slicker by the second, more needy for him. You were humping yourself against his athletic cup, which his hard cock was practically dying inside of, bursting to get out of the hard shell of plastic to touch you. But he ignored his own needs for a few minutes longer in favor of yours. Reaching forward, sliding his fingers along the wet spot at the front of your panties, absolutely indulging in the beautiful gasp you let out when his touch grazed across your swollen clit through the fabric. 

“Stiles, please.” 

He could almost hear it - it was so fucking clear inside his mind. The way your voice would be so pitched with desperation, so perfectly needy curled around his name. He wanted so badly to hear it in real life. 

And he would push those panties to the side, pushing his fingers inside of your hot, wet cunt-

Back in the real world, Stiles’s cock gave a needy pulse, leaking into his boxers. 

He heaved out a sigh, his cock practically vibrating with blood. He had driven home the whole time trying to ignore that boner, but he simply couldn’t do that anymore. He just had to give in. 

He hesitantly put your panties aside - already feeling a strange sense of attachment to them - and reached to his nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube that he had in the drawer. Shamefully, it was already half empty, mostly due to the fantasies that he had about you. He undid his pants and had them around his ankles in record time, and whipped off his shirt for good measure, knowing that he was quite a ‘splasher’ and not wanting to get cum on it to pair with that ugly mustard stain. 

He lubed up his cock more than a healthy amount, knowing that it would contribute to the fantasy of you being so wet around him. It was a distant fantasy that he would never actually get to achieve, but hell - a man can dream. Then he began to slowly pump his cock in hand, wanting to milk it and truly enjoy it, and he let his mind get back to work. 

He thought back to your place. A place he was comfortable, spent a lot of time at hanging out with you. 

He imagined that early that night when he had forgotten his book, rather than you being in the shower, he went back to your room and found that you had been getting ready for bed. You were rubbing sweet-smelling lotion on your arms, pulling back the covers, wearing nothing but a pair of cute little socks, a tiny camisole - where he could very visibly see that you weren’t wearing a bra, with the natural teardrop shape of your breasts bared to the eye, your nipples poking through the fabric - and those purple lace panties. 

When he would appear in the doorway, you would gawk at him and ask: 

“Stiles? What are you doing? Did you… forget something?” 

But you would be positioned half leaning over the bed, taking back the covers so it would be comfortable for you to sleep - and your ass would be unintentionally on full display. Your sweet pussy lips peeking at him from behind, the roundness of your ass so fucking inviting, daring him to leave bite marks across the beautifully fat flesh. 

And after a few moments of him staring so brazenly, saying nothing, simply drinking in the gorgeous sight of your body bent over, wearing so little clothing, wearing those perfect little lace panties-

(Stiles sped up his hand on his cock, the lube sounding downright sloppy in the silence of the room.) 

You would stand up to your full height, come to him in the doorway, put your face so close to his and say: 

“If you’re gonna spend so much time staring at me like a gaping idiot, then you should do something about it.” 

Stiles had to stop the swift movements of his hand and clutch his grip tightly around the base of his cock, making his entire dick throb hard as he edged off his own orgasm. 

He still wasn’t sure why the idea of you calling him an ‘idiot’ in such a brazen tone made him want to cum so hard - but he didn’t have time to unpack all that now. 

He grabbed up the panties again with his non-lubed hand. Something in the back of his mind thought that it would be a crime for him to get them dirty. Another part argued that he would absolutely love to get them covered in his cum, not clean them, and then return them to you. That it would be fucking thrilling to have you wear them in that dirtied state. 

Though he knew that would never fucking happen. 

If he returned the panties to you covered in his cum, then you would slap him, call him a pervert, and likely have Scott beat the shit out of him with his newly harnessed werewolf strength. Stiles pushed this thought to the back of his mind, though. 

Out of curiosity, he lifted the fabric to his nose and took a whiff. They smelled like fresh laundry - a nice lemony detergent. Of course they weren’t ones you had previously worn - they were a pair you had been planning on wearing tomorrow. 

He distantly wondered if that meant you would not be wearing underwear tomorrow, because he had taken your intended pair. And that could have led his mind down a whole different filthy track, but instead - he began to wonder what a pair of your dirty underwear might smell like. 

You should take a pair of used ones. A voice in his mind told him. Snatch them right out of the hamper. Come on, you’re over at her place all the time. She won’t even notice them gone. 

Terrible idea. Terrible rabbit hole. 

But what would they smell like? 

He wasn’t deluded enough to think that pussy smelled like roses. He had never been close enough to one - a real pussy - before to actually know. Yes, he was a virgin. He could have said that he was waiting, ‘saving it’ for you - but every other girl, including you, was smart enough to look past him. There were plenty of other guys who were better looking and more charming than him, and probably better in bed than him, that girls had chosen instead of him. 

He wondered if your pussy smelled like that perfect bit of sweat that you gathered at the end of a long day. Sometimes when he went to hug you before the two of you parted ways, he would catch a whiff of the tiniest undertone of musk, a good amount of sweat paired with the berry scented body spray you had put on that morning, and orange tic-tacs you had popped after lunch. It was a delectable combination. 

He imagined that your cunt would smell like that bit of sweat, combined with the blueberry body wash you used - the one he knew about and loved because of the time you had insisted he use your shower while stinking up a study session because he had skipped the showers after lacrosse practice when he was late to be with you. 

He imagined getting hints of that blueberry body wash smell coming off your thighs when his head was buried between them. What would your cunt taste like? That was a mystery he wanted to solve live. 

He could always imagine the other aspects so well. 

He could imagine the feeling of the heat under his tongue, the perfect feeling of your wetness mixing with his spit. He imagined getting to bounce your swollen clit against his tongue and while feeling your moans and cries of his name vibrate through your body as he pleasured you so well - the feeling of your pubes brushing against his cheeks as his entire face became soaked with your wetness. 

But the taste - that was something he could never conjure up in his mind, no matter how hard he tried. 

He knew that eating your pussy would be perfect. Not just because he would be giving you pleasure, serving you. But he so often dreamed of having his head smothered by your thighs, having you grab his head and shove him tighter into your cunt, you purposeful and demanding. You having that beautiful control over him while he drowned in your wetness. 

He knew that he would likely cum in his pants from eating you out if he ever got the privilege of doing so, and even if you laughed at him - stupidly, he would find that hot too. 

Stiles picked up the pace again, pumping his cock in hand evenly and firmly - even reaching down with the other hand to cradle his balls, gently rolling the flesh in his hand as he got lost in another fantasy of you. 

He imagined the two of you in his bed - textbooks forgotten and pushed off onto the floor, your dress hiked up around your hips, and again, those fucking purple lace panties. He was on top of you, hovering on his knees so that his hard cock wouldn’t brush against you (even through his jeans) while the two of you sloppily made-out. 

It wasn’t long before you pulled away from his kiss-swollen lips. 

“Stiles,” You purred into his ear, kissing along his neck. “You know, you’re so pathetic.” 

These words had his cock jumping, spurting out precum - in his fantasy, it made his underwear messy as you undid his fly. 

In the real world, it made his hand messy as he continued to rhythmically jerk his cock. 

“I’m not gonna let you fuck me.” You told him, contrasting these words with your intentions as you put your hands inside his waistband and shoved his pants and underwear down over his hips - down to his knees until his hard, throbbing cock was exposed. “Not until you prove yourself.” 

Before Stiles could ask the question, the beautiful, fantastic you that he had made up inside his mind gave him the perfect answer. 

“Get yourself off by rubbing your pathetic dick against my panties. And then - I might let you fuck me.” 

In the real world, Stiles let out a throttled moan - a choked sound that surely would have had his father knocking on the door to ask if he was okay if he was at home. And then he rushed to grab the panties again, and without even thinking, he used his sticky lubed up hand to position the fabric around his dick. It was a coarse roughness compared to the slick smoothness he had previously been feeling, but it did wonders to complete his fantasy as he delved back to the you inside of his mind. 

He started rubbing the slightly lube-sticky rough fabric up and down his dick at a very slow pace as he imagined it: 

Being perched between your thighs, with the fabric of the panties stuck to your wet cunt, his cock hard and leaking as he tucked himself right up against you and began to rub his dick against you in order to get off. Just like you wanted, just like you had ordered him to do. 

“Please.” Stiles chanted, the words leaking out of his lips, chanted into his empty bedroom as he pleaded to the imaginary you that would always have a hold over him - just as tight of a hold as the real you had. “Please, please - oh fuck.” 

He moved the fabric over his cock faster as he moved his hips faster in the fantasy, imagining how hot your pussy would feel against him, imagining your nails digging into his hips as you looked up at him with mocking and adoration in your eyes. He imagined you forcing his hips faster, trapping him in place with your knees bracketed around his thighs, showing him absolutely no mercy. 

“Please, please, please.” He chanted, knowing with a distant part of his mind that he must have sounded utterly delirious. “Please, Y/N, lemme cum-” 

“Cum for me, Stiles.” 

Confirmed by that fantasy version of you and truly unable to hold it any longer, Stiles arched up off the bed, cumming all over his own fist. Just as he had predicted, it was an utter, uncontrollable mess. He shot cum all over his stomach, and absolutely soaked the fabric of the panties - making a horrible mess of them. Which, the lube had definitely already done. He laid there for a single moment catching his breath before it truly hit him. 

Fuck. He had fucked up. 

You would definitely notice the underwear missing after a while and he certainly couldn’t return them to you in this condition. 

… 

Stiles spent the next hour in the bathroom, absolutely panicking over how to get them clean. Luckily, he wasn’t a total idiot and he looked up the washing instructions online - and after hand-washing them in warm water with a ‘gentle’ detergent (handsoap was the best that he could do), they came out perfectly clean. 

The only problem? 

Hang to dry. 

He set his alarm for early, earlier than you suggested, and prayed that he wouldn’t sleep through it. In fact, he set three more alarms just to make sure. He couldn’t have you or his father barging into his room to wake him up when he had a pair of your stolen panties pinned to his corkboard in order to properly dry them so that he could sneak them back to you in good condition. 

… 

The next day, he departed for school by 6:45 with the stolen goods hidden away in his bag, ready to sneak them back into your room later that afternoon. He made it to the library ten whole minutes before seven, and you seemed shocked that he was not only on time - but early. 

“Wow.” You said, having just gotten there yourself, spreading out your items at a table - including a tray with some coffees. “You know, Stiles, I am impressed.” 

“You don’t have to act so - so shocked.” He replied, partially interrupted by a yawn. 

You leaned over to get a pen from your bag, and Stiles’s eyes immediately went to your ass, unconsciously trying to spot panty lines through your dress and tights - wondering if you were even wearing underwear because he had stolen the ones you had intended for today. 

Focus, Stiles. Focus. 

“Well, if you weren’t here by seven sharp like I told you, I was gonna pour this in the garbage.” You told him, taking his coffee out of the paper tray and sliding it toward him. 

“You don’t have to be so mean.” He chuckled, airy and light - very secretly annoyed with the way your ‘mean’ streak affected him sometimes. Why did he have to be turned on by you scolding him and punishing him? Why? 

“Hey, if I’m not mean then you never get anything done.” You told him truthfully. “And you know how it works by now. Good boys get rewards and bad boys get spanked.” You told him, letting out a bright laugh - indicating that it was clearly meant to be a joke. 

But instantly, it shook his mind with imagery of you bending him over the table, ripping his pants down and spanking him until he came untouched and cried for mercy, forcing him to agree that he would behave and listen to you. He became downright dizzy at the thought. 

You meant it as a joke - he had to sharply remind himself. But the way you so casually called him a ‘good boy’, said that he was deserving of a ‘reward’ - it sent chills down his spine and already had his cock waking up. Too early. Bad rabbit hole. 

If he was any sort of brave, he would have pushed it more and asked you what kind of ‘reward’ you had in mind. But he wasn’t, and he was too tired to analyze the potential consequences. 

“Oh!” You said, as though suddenly remembering something. You moved to grab your bag again and Stiles closed his eyes to forcefully keep himself from staring at your ass. “You left this at my place last night.” You told him, sliding his English textbook across the table toward him. 

He was too busy trying to calm his own lust that he missed the smirk on your face - the mischief lingering in your eyes, the intention in your tone. He was too caught up, drowning in his own affections for you that he never would have pieced together that you had taken in and hidden it on purpose as a ploy to get him to come back. That you had put out some other bait for him to find. 

“Thanks.” He said quietly. “So - what do we need to go over before the test?”

“Everything.” 

Stiles groaned.

...

A/N: Yes, there is a sequel for this fic in my drafts. It is something that I worked on during my hiatus. It's 10k long, and it's pretty much done.

If you would like to see the sequel edited and posted in a timely manner, I would like to see at least 30 reblogs and 25 comments on this fic - in the form of replies or anon asks.

102 people liked the preview for this fic and I know a lot of people are interested in it, so I am only asking for a 1/4 of the people who liked the preview to interact this fic before I release the sequel. But please, keep comments to the content of this fic rather than just asking for the next part to be released.

If you want to be tagged in the next part, you can ask to be put on my Teen Wolf taglist by interacting with this post, but please know that if you don't follow my taglist rules, you will be removed from the taglist promptly. If that happens, you are still welcome to read and enjoy future fics, you just won't be included in my taglists ever again.

Happy reading, and I hope you enjoyed the fic!!

[goshdangronpa]

DR Diary #3 (12/6/22): How It Started, How It's Going

I'm probably well past the anniversary of when I got into Danganronpa, and my starting this tumblog is firm evidence that my fascination with it has only grown. I've been meaning to analyze why I love it so much, but maybe I should take the Mad Hatter's keen writing advice and start at the beginning.

It began with a hoodie. My partner owned (still owns?) a white-and-purple jacket with a strange mascot on it. Years ago, I asked them what it was. They went on about a creepy bear called Monokuma and a game whose complicated title would always slip my memory. As with many of their interests, I had no idea what they were talking about but they seemed to enjoy it. "Cool," I said, and carried on with our day.

There is a cycle to these things. My partner would tell me about something they enjoy and say that I should totally try it. I would say that I would give it a whirl, but we just wouldn't get around to it. Not because they'd insist and I'd refuse, but just because. This could go on for months, even years. Then one day, on a whim, we're watching a playthrough of a game that feels more like a motion comic than an interactive experience. (This is how they got me into the Pokémon video games, RuPaul's Drag Race, and a truly staggering number of anime.)

I may discuss Trigger Happy Havoc in greater detail in another post, but the experience was strange. I wasn't actually playing the game, which affected things more than you might expect. Most notably, I didn't witness any Free Time Events. The person doing the playthrough would go to bed each time, eager to reach the meat of the story faster. (My partner and I called it Depression Mode.) This may be why I didn't connect with the cast as much as in the games where I was in control and did every FTE I could.

Even without that key element of the Danganronpa experience, though, I had a blast. We watched virtually nothing else for over a month as we marathoned more than 90 half-hour long videos. The twists, the drama, the intensity, the emotion, and the zaniness all combined into a unique atmosphere that engrossed and still engrosses me. It's also one of my favorite kinds of story: one that pits huge personalities in an extreme situation that requires extreme measures for escaping or just coping. This allows characters to do ridiculous things and take huge swings that would normally feel unrealistic, but are totally rooted in who they are (see also: Season 1 of Riverdale).

45 hours of content can wear one out, even if it's enjoyable. I told my partner that I'd like to wait a bit before tackling the next one in the series. Then I realized that maybe instead of watching someone else have the full experience, I could try to play it too. And wouldn't you know it: the mainline games plus an extra one were all collected for the Switch, and Christmas was around the corner ...

[katerinabythesea95]

Scream rant

In the opening scene, i noticed that there are times when ghost faces tone changes, idk if anyone else hears it but i think it's cause bother Billy and Sty are taking at the same time not just one of them.

I think that Stu was the one who slices Steve and he hides behind the chair so Casey can't see him.

Also Casey has the same sweater as Stu, so maybe he was annoyed that he gave it to her and bought another one or there were two of them so that they could be twinsies when they were dating and Casey kept hers for some reason.

For those who don't know, the sheriff in Woodsburo is the same one in Nightmare on elm street. Which could mean that both movies occur in the same universe which in turn explains why when Dewey asks him if he thinks it was Billy who did killed Casey Steve and tried to kill Sydney, he replies: "20 years ago i would've said no, but kids nowadays..." Nightmare on Elm street came out 20 years prior to scream and also has the same director, Wes Craven.

Billy's motive is really clear when you pay attention to how he talks to Sydney. He sees her as merely a object for his own selfish needs, so yes he was upset about his mom leaving because of her mom, but he was really pissed about how Sydney changed, even though he tried to down play it.

You know the part where Sydney's in her house and Ghost face tried to attack Sydney? Well I always wanted to know why he waited so long to do so if he was already IN THE HOUSE AND SHE FELL ASLEEP. It would've been way too easy for him to kill but since he probably overheard Sydney talking to Tatum he thought it was best to play it safe just in case Tatum walked in and called 911 idk it's a loose reason but the best I can come up with RN.

I've watched some videos on details we've missed and along with the sheriff thing, i remember how they pointed out in a video that both cotton and billy lool similar especially from behind or sideways so it's easy to see why Sydney thought billy was cotton that night her mom was murdered.

There's a lot of forewarning in the scenes leading up to the big reveal of ghost face

you can see it in the first scene with Syd and Billy where a cover of don't fear the reaper plays in the background as they make out.

When ghost face chases Sydney up the stairs in the early scene, if you listen closely, you can hear him say, easy! Easy! Which is what Stu says to Tatum at school when she hits him with her lollipop

In that same scene, you can see Stu check his face for bruising from the night before when Sydney hit him

The two pranksters who dressed up as ghost face.

When Sydney asks how you cut someone open and Stu describes it graphically

The moment at the movie store, with billy Stu and Randy is a dead give away even if you haven't seen the movie before.

Billy's creepy stares lol

The whole EVERYONE'S A SUSPECT! is true. Cause i see all the characters and they each have a pretty plausible MO to be ghost face, not just Billy and Stu I'll dwell on that in a another post maybe.

When Billy tells Sydney that her mom was sleeping with his dad, Notice the look on Stu's face. You'd think he'd know this info because he's bff's with Billy but honestly his expression makes me think otherwise.

I WANT TO KNOW WHY RANDY WAS KILLED IN THE SECOND MOVIE. HE SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE WHOLE FRANCHISE.

Im trying not to be disappointed if Stu isn't in the fifth instalment because I somehow have this idea in my head that he's still alive somehow and has passed down the ghost face mask onto the next generation.

I was looking at the cast for scream five and Randy's sister plus her kids are gonna be in it, so Im really intrigued cause she isn't talked about much or shown in the past movies except the second movie.

I think randy made more movies than the one we saw in scream 2, so maybe the Main characters find them and that's how they bring Jaime back. Also maybe there are videos he has with Billy and Stu in them at the very least.

Im trying not to expect too much for the movie but also i hope it doesn't disappoint too much

Maybe we'll get a backstory about how the gang met and maybe all the clues will point to Stu but if it's not his kid then maybe his ward. Or someone from his or Billy's family. Like for break it's not really that hard to come up with a good explanation to bring back Stu.

[regretthatsme]

A Night to Remember

Harry Potter x Reader

I finally wrote it. This is smut. Very smut. Exceptionally smutty. 18+. Angst too.

@hestpwk072310

Harry was lost. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care. It was too much. First it was Cedric, then Sirius, now Dumbledore. It was all too much. Too much. Too much. Too-

Harry collapsed to the floor. He couldn't breathe. The walls were closing in. His heart was racing. His blood was rushing. What's happening? He was dying. He had to be. It was to only thing that made sense. Death seemed to be the only constant in his life. He closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

"Harry?"

The voice called to him. Must be an angel.

"Harry!"

He felt something touch his hand, though he couldn't have told you what it was. His hands went numb long ago.

"Harry. Listen to me. Can you hear me?" Yes. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to say it so bad, but he couldn't. His body was unable. A small groan was the best he could do.

"Okay. Okay. Okay, listen to me. On three, we're going to breathe together, alright?" He could tell the voice was panicked. The was a certain exasperation that could only be described as anxiety. "One, two, three." Harry gasped at the air like a dying man. He kind of was.

"Good job, Harry. You're doing so well. Again. One, two, three." He gasped again but it was much easier.

"You're doing so well. Again. One, two, three." Harry finally opened his eyes. His vision was blurry, but he could make out a face, but there was little detail. His vision came into focus and saw... one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen. Her hair, her eyes, her... concern. She cared. She cared about him. This had to be an angel.

"Am I dead?" Harry asked. "Are you an angel?"

The angel laughed for a second before responding. "No. I am not an angel, and, as far as I'm concerned, you are not dead."

Harry took another deep breath before mumbling, "Too pretty to be a person."

"While that is a very lovely compliment, I hate to say I am a human." She softly brushed hair off of Harry's sweaty forehead. "Now, it's quite late. We need to get you to bed." Her voice was as gentle as her touch. Harry limped back to his dorm, with the support of the lovely angel student. In his delirium, he forgot to ask for her name. The only thing he remembered in the morning was a yellow tie around her neck.

-*-*-*-

"Honestly, Hermione, it isn't that big of a deal."

"It is that big of a deal, Ronald. It's ridiculous. She's insisting that she survey the entire school! What is she even searching for? I can only imagine the affect on her mental health. Lack of sleep is very-"

"Will you please be quiet?" Harry whisper-shouted. His friends made a habit of bickering like a married couple and it's been getting on his last nerve. "And what are you on about, anyway? Just let them search Hogwarts."

"Harry, it's more complicated than that-" explained Hermione before Harry cut in.

"How? How is it more complicated? Please, enlighten me."

Hermione looked at Ron, almost as if asking for permission. "Well, it's Y/N. She's the Hufflepuff prefect. Ever since a few weeks ago, she has insisted that she is on petrol. And she checks the whole castle. It's like she doesn't trust us." Hermione expressed. "One time I followed her around the school and the whole time she was mumbling." Hermione was clearly livid about this. Y/N was showing a clear distrust and disdain for the other prefects. I mean, Malfoy is understandable, but Hermione? Ron? They were the nicest, well meaning people that Harry had probably ever met.

"Actually, she was mumbling about you, Harry." Hermione said.

"What?"

"Yeah, she kept going on and on about how you were and if you were okay. Which, don't get me wrong, is a perfectly valid thing to worry about. You have gone through much hardship, and mental health is important, but it seems a bit out of place, especially considering that she probably has never spoken to you or even taken interest in you before." Hermione confessed.

Harry was quote confused. Why would she suddenly start to take an intrest in me? Unless...

"Hermione, what does Y/N look like?"

"Oh! Um.... she has h/c hair and e/c eyes. We have a fair few classes with her. She's always top of the class." It all came back to him in one big rush. The hair that framed her face perfectly, her eyes that sparkled like jewels, her tender touch.

"I.... I think I know her."

-*-*-*-

If she goes on petrol every day, travels around the whole school, and I have an invisibility cloak plus a map, we will find each other.

Harry crept into the hallway and took out his map.

Where is she? Where is she? Where is-

Y/N L/N.

Harry raced to her. He moved as fast as he could. He was running and running and running until-

She's there.

In front of him.

And she knows he's there.

Because she's calling his name.

Harry takes off the invisibility cloak. He clears his throat. "Hello, Y/N." She nods towards him as a hello.

"You need anything?" Her eyes began to fill with concern. "Oh no. Is something wrong? It has to be. Why would you be coming to see me."

"No!" Harry was quick to reassure Y/N. He cupped her cheek and caressed her cheek bone. Maybe the James in him was acting up, but she didn't seem to reject his advances. In fact, she seemed quite comforted by it. "No. No. It's not that. I just wanted to say.... thank you. So incredibly much."

"What ever for?"

"For... just worrying, honestly. I know you helped me when I was having a panic attack and then you stayed up every night to see if I need help." Her face heated up. Harry could feel it on his hand. He smirked a bit. "Thank you. Truly. I just wish I could repay you."

"I can think of a few ways." Y/N slapped a hand over her mouth. "I didn't mean to say that."

"Well. How do I repay you?" Harry's smirk was much more apparent.

"I told you, I didn't mean to say that."

"But you did say it, and I would really, really, really, really, really, love to make it up to you."

Y/N looked down for a minute before mumbling "a kiss."

"What was that? Speak up, love."

"A kiss. I know, it childish and your not going to want to - mmmph!" Harry had already pulled Y/N into what she desired most. It was... perfect. Nothing short of absolutely magical. It was soft and quick and yet spoke so much.

"Was that good enough?"

"Actually, I'd quite like you to do that again." So they did. And then again. And again. And again. And again. Each time longer than the last. A passionate battle of lips, teeth, and tongue. A quiet wimper was released from Y/N. "Ha-oh!-Harry."

"Yes, love?" He began to kiss down her neck.

"Harry! We're in the middle of the hallway! Anyone could see us."

"What are you suggesting?"

"How about we go somewhere a bit  more...... private."

The two teenagers quickly ran off to the Room of Requirements, which had spawned a rather lovely bed, a loveseat next to a fireplace, and bath, which was sure to get some use later. Their clothes came off in a frenzy of hushed whispers and lingering kisses.

Soon, the gravity of what was about to happen took over Harry and Y/N.

"Are... are you sure?" Harry asked. "Are you ready?"

"Yes." Y/N said. She kissed Harry so softly. So lovingly. "I've never been so sure of anything."

Harry smiled before kissing down the expanse of her body. First her neck, then her tits, then her stomach until he was right in front of her sex, glistening in the romantic light of the room. "You look so beautiful."

"Please."

"Please what, princess?"

"Touch me. Please."

Harry finally gave Y/N what she wanted. He placed a thumb to her clit. She bucked her hips into him. "Try to keep still for me, sweetheart. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

He rubbed soft, sensuous circles. Luscious moans left her lips. Her hips moved occasionally and every time they would, Harry pinned her hips down harder. "Your pussy is so pretty." Whispered Harry. She moaned at this. "Such a pretty pussy. Looks good enough to.... eat?"

"Yes! Please. Please eat me out." Her begging was all that Harry needed to hear. His tongue met her folds and he moaned, the vibrations sending shock waves up her spine.

"So sweet, darling." He said as he inserted a finger. A large gasp erupted out of Y/N's mouth.

"Oh, fuck!" They kept this up until Y/N could feel her orgasm approaching. "Fuck! Oh..... I'm gonna cum. I'm close." Harry pulled away just before she could. The whine that left her lips was almost pitiable. Almost.

"Awweee. Did I made you cry, Angel?" Harry mocked. Y/N hated how that turned her on even more.

"Why did you do that, Har?"

"Well, personally, I would love to feel you cum on my cock." She hummed before nodding and spreading her legs even wider. That was before her eyes snapped open.

"Wait!" Her eyes held so much worry.

"What? What's wrong?"

"It's just... I've never done this before."

Harry cooed and kissed her cheek. "Don't worry. We're going to take it nice and slow. Ready?" She nodded once again and he entered her. They could only look into each other's eyes. Harry hissed through his teeth like a snake, which would not be too out of character seeing as he is a parceltongue. Y/N had a slight grimace on her face as a tear trickled down her cheek. Harry kissed it away as he let her adjust.

"You can move. Please move." He moved slowly and the slightly uncomfortable feeling slowly became a most pleasurable sensation. The moans became louder and louder as the movements became faster and faster and the sound of skin-on-skin became harder and harder. Soon, the familiar feeling bubbled up again. "Oooohhhhhhh fuck. I'm so close. I'm going to cum. Please let me cum. Please, please, please, please."

Harry let her beg for a few more seconds before allowing her to cum with fake reluctance. Her pussy squeased him just right. She absolutely milked his dick. He came not even a minute later. His head naturally found its way to the crook of her neck. She gripped his broad shoulders as she came down from her high.

"Holy shit. I just fucked the chosen one." Harry giggled with her as they collapsed on the bed. Harry slowly pulled his dick out of Y/N.

"I need to get a washcloth for you. We made quite the mess." One conveniently formed next to them. He ran the cloth under the tap of the bathtub. "Can you spread your legs for me, Angel?" The feeling of the cold cloth made her jump.

"'m sorry."

"Don't be. You were incredible." Y/N smiled.

"I'm going to remember tonight forever."

"As will I."

[serenityseventeen]

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The First Letter

-------------------

To: Choi Seungcheol

From: Y/N

Hi, Seungcheol.

I know that in your life, I've probably been a side character. A classmate in your autobiography or life movie. I don't expect to become anything more than that because now, I don't think I have a chance.

We've known each other since we were young. We've known each other for all of our life basically, right?

I can still remember what a cute kid you were back in kindergarten. You were such a nice little boy and whenever the other kids picked on me, you would stand up to them and say, “Hey! I'll tell the teacher and I'll also tell Y/N's parents about everything!”

I don't know if you remember that, but I do.

When we went to middle school, I think that's when I first began liking you. Even though we live just a block apart from each other, we didn't talk a lot outside of school. Since we were both classmates and knew each other's house location, it was a bit awkward for me, but thank you for talking to me when we waited for the bus at the bus stop together. Sometimes you would just briefly mention my hair or the small details like new shoes or socks.

Thinking about it still gives me hope that you like me.

Throughout middle school, you always fed me hope. Maybe because in general, you were just a charming, manly, attractive, and caring guy. Maybe I'm still misunderstanding too many of your actions.

I can remember so many times that my heart fluttered and my stomach filled with butterflies because of you, Seungcheol. Since this is a letter to you that I won't send, I guess I'll just write them all down here to keep as a memory, just in case I ever miss you or feel nostalgic. You're my first love, after all, Seungcheol.

There was this time when we were in 6th grade. In 6th grade, both of us didn't talk much, and surprisingly, we didn't get a lot of long-term projects together. I don't think we got any at all actually.

Anyway, it was the middle of spring and both of us were just hanging out with our group of friends. You were throwing around a paper ball, playing a game of catch with your friends during the break. I was just being the usual me, listening to my friends talk while drawing dancing cartoons in the empty spaces in my notebook. Sometimes I would glance up and catch a glimpse of you catching the ball.

Despite being in middle school, you had really large, muscular arms. I was watching you and your friend play catch for a bit. Your friend was right next to me, catching the ball, and you were on the opposite side. I turned back to my notebook then all of a sudden, the ball flew right in my face from your hands.

I let out a small “ouch” even though it didn't hurt. Your friend asked me if I was okay, to which I replied that I was fine. Just then, I don't know when you came, but you came in front of me and took my face in your hands. It only hit my forehead but you examined my cheeks, chin, nose, turning my face in all sorts of directions while asking “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” and saying “I'm so sorry” repeatedly. As I'm writing this, the lingering feeling of your warm palms holding my head and the side of my neck still makes my heart race. I didn't think my heart could beat so fast but it did. I think that's when I was sure I liked you more than a one-sided crush. It became a one-sided love for another two years.

There were way too many times my heart fluttered because of you but because this letter is already so long, I will only express my side of three of those times.

I hope this is an event that you remember. It was the day when you, me, and two other friends went to an amusement park. I think of this day as a double date. I can still remember my friend joking about how you and I looked so good together. I don't know if you noticed but I was so shy. She was also joking about how ‘this was a double date’ and because I was being paired up with you like that, I was just feeling over the moon. You didn't even say anything to deny it, you just laughed as I did.

I remember how your friend was convincing you to ride some rollercoasters but you were so afraid and whining. I remember just thinking you were so cute even though the memory is a bit blurry.

After that, because I wanted us to get closer, I said, “I'll ride it with you, it'll be okay.”

You were still skeptical but to me, it looked like you were giving in. I always wonder if it was because of me or if you were annoyed by your friend's continuous convincing. If it was because of me, then, I might regret not telling you my feelings.

Anyway, I rode the rollercoaster with you and I was, evidently, really scared. I was so scared to ride that thing that I was unintentionally screaming with you with my eyes shut. My hand was holding tightly onto the bar that secured us and I couldn't open my eyes at all. Just then, I felt your hand on mine and I could feel the courage to open my eyes. When I finally stopped yelling and opened my eyes, I saw that you still had your eyes squeezed, gripping my hand tightly.

You looked so cute, Seungcheol. If you opened your eyes, you would have seen how brightly I was smiling. Later that night, I remember, I rolled around in my bed and wiggled thinking back on it.

However, whenever I tried to get close with you, I always backed out because even though there are small moments like those I mentioned, there are more times where it seems like you don't like me the way that I like you. I don't know your heart and I know better than anyone that being friends with you would only make my love for you grow deeper.

It's the first time I'm feeling this way for anyone and I don't know what to do. I want to get closer and explicitly tell you that I like you and want you to date me, but at the same time, I don't know which decision is right. We're both still young is the only excuse I can think of, but still, I can't bring myself to tell you how I feel. All I know is that I might be in love with you and you make my heart race.

This is the last thing I'll share in this letter, even though you won't receive it. I just want to tell you my honest feelings that I can't tell you about physically. Yes, I'm being a coward and writing a letter like this.

You know, Seungcheol, you always had this strong aura to you. You can be so cute but you're so masculine too. I like how caring you are, always taking care of your classmates. I admire you for having such a great sense of responsibility. You always remind me when I'm on cleanup duty. Not to mention how charismatic you look when you rap alone at the bus stop. Your deep voice is beautiful when you sing too. I don't think you know how much I know about you. I don't want to seem creepy because these types of things are just things I can't help noticing. I don't even know why I'm writing this down, it just crossed my mind just now. I might as well pour out the rest of my heart to carve you out, right?

There was this one time last year, at the bus stop, when I arrived before you did. Usually, you always came to the bus stop first, and honestly, without you there made me feel uneasy. It made me realize a lot that your presence gave me feelings of reassurance and comfort. Without you there, I was so paranoid that I took out my headphones just in case my headphones would block out the sound of someone coming. I just remember feeling so scared, clenching my cold fists in my lap. The morning was gloomy and it was even raining.

I remember my mind racing, waiting for you to come. However, I was getting even more scared at the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to hear anything so I just wore my headphones again and listened to some music. I was looking down the sidewalk in the direction of my house, wondering if I should ask my father to drive me to school instead, when all of a sudden, you yanked out my headphones.

You were panting, covered in rain. I stood up because I was shocked and nearly wanted to hug you for coming but because we weren't close, I knew it'd be awkward if I thanked you or something. However, what you said to me, has always lingered in my head.

“Hey!” You shouted in a scolding tone, placing your hands on your hips. “What are you doing out here all alone? Why didn't you go back home and get an umbrella, it's raining so much! Plus, you could have waited until I came first until you decided to sit here alone with music blocking your ears! What are you, stupid!?”

At that time, I just stood, frozen. I was wondering why you didn't have an umbrella meanwhile my heart was fluttering. I was wondering why you were scolding me. Were you worried for me? Do you like me? Those questions still float around.

After scolding me, you sighed and apologized.

“No, it's okay,” I said quietly. I couldn't tell you that I was scared because I just didn't know how to say it without making it awkward. If I did say that I was scared since you weren't with me, would things change?

In the end, you were still soaking wet so you called your dad to get you an umbrella. Why was that? Why didn't you just come out with an umbrella?

I have so many questions about so many seemingly minor things you do to me. Are you worried just for me or are you worried for everyone, including all our classmates? Do you find me a source of comfort or were you just too scared to think on the rollercoaster?

Since the questions will never get answered like how this letter will never get mailed, I will conclude negatively, that you don't feel the same way. The main reason I'm writing this letter anyway is that I'm deciding to get over you. I know we're probably going to be stuck in the same high school but I'm going to stop loving you foolishly like this.

Thank you for being my first love. You being yourself made me feel so many different kinds of feelings, so many different emotions. I fell in love for the first time and I'm glad it was with someone like you, even if the ending is bittersweet. After summer break passes, I'll make sure to get over you.

I won't forget you though. I won't forget the way you cared for me. I won't forget the way you are.

You're an unforgettable first love, Seungcheol.

Sincerely,

Y/N

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© serenityseventeen

6/18/21 - 3:39 pm

a/n: I'm in love with the entire Your Choice album!!! Ready to Love is such a beautiful song, gosh, I'm in love with it!!! Seventeen always has superior B-Sides and ANYONE is my new bias wrecker + The members posted on Instagram today for the first time in forever (except for Seungkwan)!!!