#pls don't hurt me tumblr
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nessbunnie · 3 months ago
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ummm i wanna be loved haha
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engel66sic · 4 months ago
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My fav HTF shi- *Gets shot via machine gun*
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izzy-b-hands · 1 month ago
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i saw your tag abt peanut butter, did you develop an allergy? :0
Oh no; I've had an allergy to tree nuts since I was a toddler! But I did have a period of time (like 18yo-24ish?) where as long as i took a Benadryl immediately after eating it, I could have some peanut food things (like paydays. and butterfinger, my god i miss butterfingers. all the good peanut desserts and even just chocolate covered ones!!) and basically no reaction as long as I took the Benadryl IMMEDIATELY. I only forgot once or twice and regretted it lol, it was Hives and Itching and Stomach Upset City
As of the last four years, I've had three major reactions thanks to my more severe nut allergies that come with anaphylaxis (like walnuts, cashews, all the ones that taste so damn good 😭 not as good as peanuts tho akdnfkgngn), two of which required me to hit the ER (and finally got my ins to cover epi pens for me! Didn't get any ins to cover them and mum couldn't afford them out of pocket, so I got my first ones at like 28 lmaooo) and since then I'm a bit more reactive to all tree nuts and have to be more careful abt food options and cross contamination. Luckily tho still not nearly as careful as other folks with nut allergies have to be tho, a quick Benadryl or two once I realise a reaction is happening helps for the not-quite-as-bad-reaction nuts so I'm not miserable, and helps the far-worse-reaction nuts nonsense calm down till I can get to a doctor with some sweet sweet IV Benadryl and whatever else they pumped me full of the last time I wound up there 😅
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man-made-misery · 1 year ago
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A problem I have as a disabled person is when concerts change venues and change my seated tickets to standing. Like when I booked seated Måneskin tickets but then the venue upgraded and my tickets were standing, and I was told if I wanted seats I'd have to come to the venue on the day to see if there were seats available (bear in mind the venue was across the country from me) and it was such a stressful process. And now I'm having to do the same with Käärijä in October and I'm so tired 🥲
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figs-oliomedley · 2 years ago
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Fig’s Find Out She Requires Attention arc
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that-was-anticlimactic · 8 months ago
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dw babygirl you dash is fine, i just have lots of feelings
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fortunately-bi · 9 months ago
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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winterzsurprise · 2 years ago
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Peaches and Cream || Miguel O'hara
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Pairing: Miguel O'hara x f!reader
Summary: There's a stark difference with how your husband and Miguel treats you, starting with how rough the latter can be.
Tags: SMUT, NOT BETA READ, unprotected sex, rough sex, cunnilingus, vaginal fingering, spanking, pussy slapping (once), fluff (?), jealous!Miguel, Miguel has a big dick.
Words: 2.2k
I got distracted from writing domestic Miguel after he replaced the dad!Miguel after he got shot. This is shit, my apologies I'll do better and add more flavor next time, promiseee. Title is from the song I was listening to the whole time by Noah Davis.
I don't know how to navigate tumblr as a second blog but thank you to all your comments, reblogs and likes, it really does motivate me to write more and better stuff. Also thank you to two blogs for putting me in their recommendations! I made it guys :''DD!!
cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love || hermosa - beautiful || pobrecita - poor thing (correct me on this one please) || calladita - quietly (thank you sm @eminenceplant for this)
There's a stark difference between your husband and the man hovering above you like a predator about to pounce.
Your husband's hands were soft and loving as it caressed and wandered your body as he peppered kisses down from your neck and to your inner thigh. All of his gestures are a sweet concoction of loving and adoration.
Whilst Miguel's touch was desperate, territorial as he clawed down your flesh, human nails digging into your thighs and breasts as he left a trail of purple bruises around your neck, collarbones before stopping to nip at your hip bone. Everything he does is animalistic, deprived and hungry as if he hasn't eaten for centuries.
His red eyes were clouded with dark lust, glinted with something carnal, even feral, in the dark that got your spine tingling with anticipation.
To see and feel his perpetual desperation for your skin, your scent and desire for your touch had your pride piercing the heavens. To be wanted as he does like you're the air he breathes is dizzying and you can't help but want more.
It's exhilarating, addicting even.
It hasn't been long since you found yourself in love with another version of your husband, yet you grew to crave more of him as seconds ticked by.
Miguel's muscled arms curled around your thighs, forcing them open before pulling you flush to his face with a surprising strength. A pleased sigh escaped your lips as his hot breath fans over your pubic bone, hand falling to knot onto his hair and tugging him closer.
You soon realised why he paused on top of your mound as he inhaled you in, immediately your cheeks flamed.
"You smell heavenly, baby. So wet for me as well, makes me want to taste you."
You bite your bottom lip, nodding urgently as you tug him closer and he clicks his tongue.
"Hermosa, I need your words."
"Please darling? I'll be nice I swear, eat me out please."
Miguel doesn't need to be told twice, dipping his tongue onto your dripping folds. Your back arched at the sensation, after months of no intimacy following the change in your husband, your arousal lit your nerve endings ablaze.
His left hand that was digging into your flesh then reached to splay itself onto your abdomen, pinning you to the mattress as his tongue flicked your clit with a firm pace.
With every flicker of his appendage, hot pleasure rockets into your stomach, body growing feverish as pressure builds up inside your abdomen.
As if sensing your orgasm from the hitch of your breath alone, his right arm unwinds from your thigh to trail down to your fluttering entrance, caressing the rim so sweetly it hurts.
"Miguel please."
He ignored you, focusing on suckling on your clit with a reawakened fervor. You tugged onto his hair, hard enough for it to hurt, for him to listen to your pleas yet he only grunted, sending ample vibrations to quake your bones.
"Beg for it nicely, cariño. I want to hear you beg for me."
"I want your fingers in me, please! Miguel, baby, I want to feel you in me, please."
He groaned, it rumbled in his chest before sending shockwaves down your spine. Then he shoved two of his thick fingers inside you and you jerked. The burn of being breached got your blood buzzing as it mixed with the pleasure his tongue gave you.
If your husband was gentle with his fingers, inserting them one by one with utmost care, Miguel is everything he stands against. 
His fingers immediately found a punishing pace, plunging in and out of you whilst curling up to touch the spongy spot in your walls. Encouraged by his digits, his tongue grew frantic as it sucked and flicked your clit rapidly, driving you closer and closer to your precipice. You opened your mouth to scream but it was caught short by his other hand clamping over your lips.
"Calladita, you're going to wake Gabriella up."
Miguel's gaze burns your face as he brings you pleasure atop pleasure with every thrust and lick .
To see your eyes roll back and your chest rise as you arch, the greedy monster claws at his neck, wanting for more reactions.
Bet her husband had also made her this way...
An ugly head reared out of the back of his brain, whispering taunts into his ears and reaching around with its rotten hands to blind his eyes. 
With the bitter realization, his fingers pistoned in and out of you with a punishing pace, the heel of his palm slamming into your engorged clit as a pathetic wet squelch echoed in the room. The sudden change in pace got you writhing, your mewls muffled by his hand.
"So fucking wet for me, hermosa. Tell me, do you get this turned on for your husband?"
You didn't respond and that seemed to anger him, pulling his fingers out and cutting off the intoxicating thrum of heat in your veins and you whined, displeased. Hearing this, he brought his hand down for a firm slap onto your clit.
"Fuck…"
"You don't get to react, mi amor."
He sat up, pushing down his sweatpants along with his boxers and his erection stands, slapping against his stomach. Your eyes immediately caught the dribbles of pre-cum pulsing out of his tip and your tongue grew heavy, hand reaching out to grab onto his dick.
Miguel, in more ways than one, is bigger than your husband. Your hand barely closed up around his length and dread loomed over you. He's about to ruin you, mind and body, with this dick.
Fuck, will this fit in me?
"You're so big."
He chuckled darkly, fingers pinching your chin. "No, your husband's just lacking, hermosa."
You should've been angered by his comment but you couldn't find it in yourself to reprimand him for it. Instead, you find yourself flustered at his confidence.
"On your knees."
As if hypnotized, you followed despite the disappointment rumbling inside you for not being able to pleasure him. 
You pushed yourself off of the mattress to turn but he was quicker, ever the impatient man that he is, his large hand splayed between your shoulder blades and pinned you to the cushion, forcing you to present your ass up at him.
"Darling? I really don't think it'll fit."
A resonating slap echoed in the room as he swatted your ass and you whimpered, body lurching away before strong arms dragged you back under him.
"You can and you will. I will make sure of it."
His cockhead poked your entrance and a thrill slithered down your spine. You looked down to your pussy, watching with rapt attention as he dragged himself up and down your folds.
The sight of his disheveled self with his head thrown back and mouth agape to let out groans made you shiver. How could someone look so attractive?
Miguel soon pushed in, the head of his dick immediately lodging into your small hole, stretching you wide as he slowly inserted more of his inches. The sting it brought got you gasping and grabbing tight onto the sheets, already feeling full to the brim with barely half of him in.
"Fuck, you're so tight for me. Pobrecita… your husband must've never fucked you wide open before."
Just when you thought it was done, he continued to push more of him. Your head grows light, pleasure shocking all your nerve endings awake from your legs and to the tip of your toes.
He didn't even let you rest, already pulling back and you almost shot up to grab him, scared he'd leave you hanging but Miguel left his cockhead in before thrusting all of his inches back in with one fluid motion and your mouth fell agape. 
"Fuck…! Miguel please!"
"What a greedy girl. Don't worry baby, I'll treat you well tonight."
If his slow thrust already had your mind fuzzy from the pain of the stretch and pleasure, his callous and frenzied pace got you praying as he released shockwaves after shockwaves of bliss to shatter your bones and down to your trembling legs.
You barely had the mind to bite onto the sheet to muffle your cry as he drove manically behind you. 
Seeing this, Miguel grew displeased. Despite knowing the reason for your actions, he wanted to hear how well he fucks you. It was childish trying to outdo someone he'd never encounter again but his pride is bruised.
That fucker got the chance to devour and have you pliant and panting under him for decades while he withered back in his lab trying to get rid of his unwanted addiction.
The bastard has ingrained himself into your body for years and he can't have that.
There should only be one man you should think about at night and be reminded of when you sit to feel the soreness rendering your lower body boneless.
"I'm gonna install noise suppressors in our room tomorrow then you'd be free to scream my name whenever you like, mi vida. You know how I love it when you cry for me."
You didn't say anything but instead nodded frantically. Fire licked every inch of your skin as the familiar tightness in your abdomen appeared, lightning shooting up your spine with every savage thrusts.
There was nothing else you could think of, focused on reaching your deserved nirvana and desperately shaking your hips to meet his thrust. Seeing how fucked and blissed out you were, Miguel groaned before swatting the globes of your ass, pulling a mewl from you.
"Look at you, so cock drunk for me. So beautiful… It makes me wanna tease you a little."
Feeling your orgasm being torn away as he slows, you whine and reach back to grab his hips, forcing him to piston in and out of you with a mewl. Miguel watched you with heavy lidded eyes, he has never seen such a sinful yet delicious sight until now.
If there was a scene he could ingrain into the back of his eyelids, this would be it. 
You, so desperate for a release and trying to chase it when he refused to. Eyes glazed with tears of frustration as you gave up trying to control his hips and bucked your hips like a madwoman into his dick.
There's no such thing as guilt when he got to witness you in such a vulnerable state, only gratefulness.
"Mi cielo, please! Move, I want to come so bad please…!"
He had a different plan for the evening but if you begged so sweetly like that, there's nothing he wouldn't give you.
A house, a new ring with the biggest gemstone you love, the world, the universe or something as simple as a climax becomes acquirable if you want them so badly, he'd give it all to you.
"Anything for you, cariño."
Despite the callousness of his touch driven with wanderlust and desperation to the point of passionate worshiping, Miguel differs from your husband by being love-starved and his brimming confidence in pleasing you a hundred ways before tomorrow without breaking a sweat.
A welcomed and fresh change nonetheless, the difference only led you to fall deeper in love with him.
He drove his dick back into you with a fresh yet ravenous pace, pulling back till his cockhead remains before plunging all of himself in. Miguel's nails dug deep into your flesh enough to make you fear for a permanent dent in them.
Your skin flared as the coil in your stomach reawakened, tightening further and further with every thrust. The warmth is maddening yet deliciously addictive as it lashes out, wrapping around your swelling heart.
"Let me come please? I want it please…! Ah!"
He leant down while his hand reached down to roll your clit in tight eights, decreasing his pace yet hitting deeper as he swept the hair behind your ear before tugging it hard.
"Give it to me, mi vida. I want it all, come around me."
With his proximity and whispered command, there was nothing else you could do but burst. 
Ecstasy easily drowns you as it floods your senses, white hot pleasure exploding behind your eyelids as you screamed into the sheets. Your orgasm rippled through you, shimmying under your skin and turning your limbs useless as they grew light.
There's nothing else you could call what you were feeling except 'heavenly'.
With the constant pulse of your velvet walls clamping down on him, Miguel soon followed with a deep resonating groan to his annoyance, painting your insides white with his liquid arousal.
It was a wonder he lasted this long after having only his hands to entertain him for years in the laboratory and spider hub. Nonetheless, he has his life to spend with you, years where he could discover and evoke your deepest desires. 
Placing gentle kisses on your shoulders, he grinned. "Te amo cariño."
"I love you more…" You mumbled back, exhaustion weighing your eyelids. You barely picked up his clicking tongue before he spoke up, sounding determined as if it was set in stone.
"No sleeping, mi vida. We're not done yet, I have months to make up, no?"
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mr-ribbit · 1 year ago
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gonna rant again bc im seeing a lot of trans women on my dash having to carry the heavy lifting to argue for their basic respect and a lot of other queer people who want to ??? get mad about that apparently. for the record as usual: im tme, im not speaking for anyone besides myself and my perspectives, but I am trying to reach out to fellow tme people to level with y'all from inside the house.
i thought we all got past the 'calling people gendered terms when theyve asked you to stop' thing in like. 2012. i swear we were allllll on board with not calling women dude anymore, nerfing sir and ma'am, neutralizing collective terms for groups, and all of that was like, during the onceler era. that's how we got off-putting shit like folx into the mix - remember???? why are we here again.
to those who I've seen claiming that they REALLY genuinely don't want to offend anyone, and that theyre trying to understand the dude thing, and they don't want to be seen as transmisogynistic when they aren't: ok. let's talk about it. step one, stop sending that really loaded anon to a trans woman you don't know, and close that in-group hatepost with 100 replies from people name-dropping trans bloggers they don't like. try to open your mind and assume for the duration of this post that I am not cynically trying manipulate thousands of tumblr users into making Bro the next big swear word, but a fellow queer human being who thinks you're all being pretty intentionally obtuse about an upsetting trend in our community
to be clear: this post is about the issue of trans women being called bro, dude, man, etc., particularly in recent tumblr discourse about transmisogyny, and the backlash they face if they get upset about it. this is also maybe moreso about the shitty ass excuses I see tme people make for why they supposedly can't stop doing this.
so let's go through some of the things I've been seeing people say they don't understand, supposedly in earnest, about this issue
"I DIDNT USE DUDE AS A MASCULINE TERM. I CALL EVERYONE BRO. MAN IS A GENDER NEUTRAL TERM"
I'm not actually going to exhaust my list of reasons why dude/bro/man are not strictly neutral, but you should be pretty aware that all words have context. Dude might be seen as neutral in many contexts, sure, but 'woman who is frequently called a man by others' is a situation where the context adds extra meaning to your words, just like calling someone "sweetie" might be neutral in some cases, but if you've got the context of knowing that's your coworker who's half your age, it's a bit less neutral. If you're not capable of reading that context and being tasteful about when you say dude, then you need to at least be ready to respond gracefully when someone asks you to stop. This is the part I'd rather focus on.
"BUT I DIDNT MEAN IT THAT WAY. IM NOT TRANSPHOBIC"
I think you should consider broadening your perspective *beyond* your intention behind the word. people may already understand that you meant the word neutrally and therefore didn't have transmisogynistic intent, but that's not really the entire scope of what people are saying. if that's your only concern, you're just trying to clear your record, not actually listen to what they're saying.
there are lots of words people don't enjoy being called, and in most cases, when they say 'pls don't call me that', people respect that and move on. even if the word isn't a slur, if it hurts someone's feelings, we all as a society have agreed that it's pretty shitty to keep calling them that. if your friend asked you not to call them 'buddy' anymore because their dead grandparent called them that, or something equivalently personal, you'd probably respect that instead of telling them 'but I call everyone buddy!!' right? even if you didn't really understand why it bothered them so much?
there is a prominent tendency for trans women to be denied this privilege, and when they ask not to be called dude or bro, people don't seem to respect this request as much as they would in other situations. when I accidentally use a gendered word and someone tells me they don't like it, I try to respond with something like "my bad, I didn't mean it as misgendering but I can see you were still bothered by it, so I'll try not to keep saying it. sorry!" and most people are willing to accept that. when trans women ask people this favor, a lot of people get VERY defensive, and treat the request as inane or unfair, instead of just apologizing and moving on. this is why people are upset when this happens, and it's why people are calling your actions transmisogynistic
also like you might not be doing this, but a lot of people DO use dude and bro in an intentionally gendered way to make trans women uncomfortable. it's a power play bigots use to talk down to them or otherwise maliciously harass them. do you know what arguments they use to defend that behavior when called out on it? 'oh I call everyone that' 'dude is gender neutral calm down' 'dont overreact its just a word'. by acting like this, youre all just giving credence to those same arguments.
"WELL THEY SHOULDNT GET SO MAD AT ME WHEN I DIDNT MEAN ANY HARM"
they can get as mad as they want!! also, are you sure they're 'mad'? or are they just expressing their feelings about a negative topic to you, and it makes you feel bad, so you have to make them out to be unreasonably emotional? how do you think they should have phrased 'dont call me that' to better spare *your* feelings?
also like, in most cases, these women do not knowww you. if your main response to someone saying you disrespected them is to say "I didnt mean it that way, I meant it in a friendly neutral way", well that's NOT YOUR FRIEND! she has no idea what your opinions are or what you think of her!!! she has no reason to assume you only upset her in a friendly way and not a bad unfriendly way! but she did get upset, and she did the one thing she can do which is *tell you what upset her* and your response is to say "well actually you shouldn't be upset at all"??????
and another thing:
it's not just the issue of using the word 'dude', it's because you're coming off extremely dismissive of women who have asked you to stop doing something that harms them, and because your argument is basically that they just shouldn't be so bothered by it. or that they're stupid, irrational, or otherwise crazy for telling you that it bothered them at all, just because you Technically used a gender neutral word according to Your Rules. be honest, does that seem fair? If people were calling you something that bothered you enough to ask them to stop, and they responded like this, how would it make you feel?
focusing solely on your intent and what the words mean when you use them is the same thing as saying "just get over it". no woman should need to Prove to you that 'dude' is gendered for you to care about what she's saying. the fact that you're asking people to do that sucks and makes you look bad, which is why people are arguing with you and calling you a misogynist.
especially those of you who are only doing this with trans women who are actively arguing with. you're wielding misgendering as a cudgel and we can all see it, grow up please.
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lowkeyren · 7 months ago
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FOR HIS HEART CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
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in which — dan feng can’t imagine a life without you. so even when death takes your hand, he'll hold on to your other and do anything to get you back in his embrace, no matter the consequences.
pairing — dan f/heng x gn!reader
wc: 2.5k, lovers to enemies, you both are lowkey bad with feelings LOL, i lied when i said there's an alternative ending for hurt/comfort enjoyers, now suffer. (reblogs w comments are appreciated, pls enjoy <3) ps. dividers aren't working cus tumblr is being mean to me so using dashes instead ARRHGHGHG
lying in your shared bed, your breathing grows increasingly shallow, your hands tremble uncontrollably, signaling another episode of your deteriorating condition. the dim, cold room feels oppressive as you catch the distant echoes of the best physicians from all around xianzhou, their hurried steps reverberating against the walls as they hasten to your side.
dan feng tightens his grip on your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, his expression etched with concern. the smell of herbal remedies and the sharp scent of sickness fills the air, mingling with the mustiness of the stone walls; a familiar sense of dread washes over you as you struggle with each breath.
his brows are furrowed, and his lips are pressed into a thin line, his knuckles turning white from the tightness of his grip on your hands. the pressure is so intense that it almost hurts —almost, but not quite enough to cause you (more) pain. he would never hurt you, not even over his own grave.
despite the best efforts of your personal caregivers, the limitations of medical knowledge, and the uncertainty of your treatments are harsh realities you have to face. it fills him with anguish to witness your episodes almost daily —suddenly collapsing in his arms, gasping for breath; moments like these are where he feels like he's standing right beside your deathbed, desperately hoping for signs of improvement each time you open your eyes again. 
it kills him that there's nothing he can do but watch over you, he watches as you waste away before his eyes, feeling a piece of himself wither away in tandem. 
dan feng’s eyes search yours the moment you regain consciousness, the doctors respectfully step back, bowing before hurriedly exiting the room. his heart breaks into a million pieces when he sees your eyes that were once bright with joy, now clouded with tears. the sight pierces through him, stirring a deep ache in his chest.
"dan feng," you whisper hoarsely, your voice fragile with pain. “it hurts, it hurts so much…” he presses a soft kiss against your entwined hand, his touch a soothing balm amidst the storm raging within him. “don’t worry,” he murmurs softly, “i’ll make it go away soon, i swear.”
“thank you.. but promise me, if i don't make it, you'll find a way to move on.” you manage a weak smile through the pain. his eyes glisten with unshed tears, he shakes his head slightly, "i won’t let that happen." 
of course he won’t. you were the kindest, most lovely soul before this godforsaken unknown illness with no definitive cure stole your life away; he sees your smile slowly losing its radiance, and your eyes dulling as each day passes. 
“this body… it’s useless, i’m useless. i’m sorry, i—” dan feng places a finger against your lips. his touch tender yet firm, stopping your words. "don't say that," his voice choking with emotion. "you're not useless, in fact you're the strongest person i know."
hearing you utter such self loathing words is like a dagger twisting in his heart, tipping him over the edge. you, who have always been his anchor in life's turbulent seas, slipping away feels like fragile glass shattering into countless shards, leaving him scattered and irreparable, each piece cutting deeper into his core with every breath.
he can't face the idea of losing you. it destroys him from within, even more so now that time is running out. but he won’t let anyone else have you, not even the cold hands of death. for you, he’s willing to pay any price, even if it means he has to break the highest laws of xianzhou.
you wake up feeling unusually energized, a stark contrast to the persistent aches and pains that have haunted you for so long. as you sit up, the familiar discomforts are no longer present, instead replaced by an almost surreal sense of vitality.
but something feels strangely off, an unsettling sensation gnawing at the edges of your awareness. your eyes dart around the room, frantically searching for your boyfriend’s presence; he has never left your side without a word (his protectiveness wouldn't allow it anyway), especially not for this long. 
panic flares as you look down at your body. the surgical wounds that once marked your skin have vanished without a trace. your breath catches in your throat as you run your fingers over the smooth, unblemished surface where scars should be.
you push back the covers and swing your legs over the side of the bed, struggling to piece together what could have happened.
where is dan feng? is he in trouble? and, why do you feel so... alive? 
then, a chilling realisation dawns on you. you try to shake the thought from your mind, but no matter how hard you try, you aren’t able to find any other explanation that fits your condition. as the high elder, dan feng should know better than anyone that such an act is a sin —a disgrace...
the truth begins to settle in, he really did sacrifice everything to grant you immortality.
“you’re literally the high elder for god's sake, what have you done?!” you exclaim, your voice trembling with a mix of disbelief and anger.
dan feng's expression is pained as he meets your gaze, his own eyes filled with a desperate resolve. “i’m only trying to help you. you don’t understand, i—”
“help me?” you cut in sharply, scoffing. “you betrayed xianzhou! you betrayed me. i was ready to let go, so why?” 
he reaches out to you, his hand stopping, and hovering in mid air as if unsure whether to touch you. "i can't bear to lose you," he confesses, his voice barely a whisper. "i can’t just stand by and watch you suffer when i have the power to save you."
tears well up in your eyes, the room feels suffocatingly small as you stand in front of him. for the first time, you find yourself on opposite sides of the battlefield, the weight of his transgression hangs heavy between you, tearing apart everything you once knew. 
“by defying everything we stand for?” you choke out, your words laced with venom. “do you realise just what you’ve done?” he takes a step closer, his face etching with anguish. "i know i’ve made a grave mistake." he admits, “but will you believe me if i say that i didn’t regret it one bit?”
“how can you do all this… for love?” your eyes search his for answers that seem unfathomable. “no, my dear, for you.”  he steps closer, his breath warm against your skin, gaze locking onto yours with an almost desperate intensity. 
"but how can i ever love you again after this?" you whisper, your voice trembling. his heart shatters at how your eyes taint with fear and betrayal, the sight wrapping around his chest like a vice. the mere thought of losing you, of seeing you banished because of his desperation, is a torment he can hardly bear —but now one that he has to face.
"if you can't accept what i've done, i'll grant your wish, whatever it is.” he murmurs. “for you, i’m willing to pay any price." 
though when bound in chains, his title of high elder does little to shield him from the repercussions of breaking the sacred laws. he’s taken away; his fate sealed by the very rules he broke. and you, the one he tried to save, find yourself exiled, cast out for the sin you never chose.
as you wander, lost and alone, the realisation of what he gave up for you lingers, a bittersweet reminder of his love that defied everything, yet cost you both so much. 
the land of xianzhou is something dan heng is strangely familiar with; he walks through the maze of narrow alleys and crowded squares, every corner seems to whisper fragments of memories long buried. 
“dan heng! look, isn’t this so cool?!” the excited voice of a pink haired girl reaches his ears. her eyes sparkle with enthusiasm as she animatedly gestures towards a nearby market stall with hand-carved trinkets. she continues to gush over the intricate designs while holding the hand of her grey haired companion, eagerly dragging them towards the stall.
his eyes follows them as their silhouette grows smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing amidst the crowd. just then, another figure in the distance catches his attention.
it’s a brief glimpse, a fleeting moment where your eyes meet across the street. perhaps it's your mannerisms, your familiar gestures, or simply the way you carry yourself —whatever it is, it stirs a rush of adrenaline, a sense of déjà vu that he can’t quite shake.
dan heng pushes through the bustling throng, eyes darting frantically in search of you. the world blurs around him as he focuses solely on catching another glimpse of you; he spots you slipping into a narrow alleyway, and without hesitation, he follows.
the noise of the market fades into a distant hum as his footsteps echo softly against the alley walls. he turns a corner and sees you up ahead, your figure outlined by the dim light filtering through cracks in the buildings.
you soon reach a dead end, but as you turn to leave, you bump into someone’s chest. the world seems to stand still for a moment, dan heng's breath catches in his throat as he looks down at you. although your face is partially obscured by a thin veil, your features are still discernible. 
“oh? it seems you still remember me.” you finally meet his gaze. those eyes he cherished so dearly still hold a spark of life. “[name]?” he murmurs, the sound of your name still so intimate on his lips after many years.
“you haven’t changed one bit.” he reaches out to gently push the veil covering your face aside. a flood of memories rushes through his mind, one a sharp pang in his heart. seeing you again triggers a vivid recollection of the exact place and position you were in years ago, a memory that stings to recall.
“i wonder whose fault it is?” you tilt your head, if only he knew the trouble you went through to find him again; given that goodbyes were never exchanged between you, it seems fitting to offer one now.
before he can say a word, you swiftly grab his collar and wedge him firmly against the wall. he doesn’t resist even when he feels the cold sharp edge of your dagger pressing against his throat, his gaze still fixing firmly on yours. 
"have you ever felt remorse?" you lean closer into him, your voice is barely audible through your gritted teeth. he ignores your question; unexpectedly, he grips your hand, dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. 
"as long as my blood is on your hands, go ahead, do it." he whispers, his voice steady despite the tension. "my heart has always been yours anyway." his eyes bore into yours as if daring you to follow through. 
his grip on your hand tightens, urging you closer. "and if this is what it takes to ease your pain, then i'm ready."
"...what? you must be out of your mind if you think this way of making amends will work." your disbelief is clear in your voice; you try to shake his hand away, but he refuses to budge. 
dan feng couldn’t imagine a life without you, so when death takes your hand, he holds on to your other —and finds you again as dan heng. even as he gets on his knees and begs for your forgiveness, he still holds on to your hand as tightly as he can, afraid that any moment you might slip through his fingers.
“i’m sorry, i just couldn’t accept the thought of you leaving me.” and i still can’t, so please don’t leave me again.
you feel your willpower wavering, his very being melting away at your resolve. it's too much to bear, and you feel yourself slipping under the weight of his words. even still, you find yourself struggling to deny him. to deny yourself. to deny your own feelings. 
you fight the urge to simply give in, torn between the desire to just let go and fall into the sweet oblivion of his embrace, and the fear of getting sucked back into a cycle of destruction and pain. the weight of all that history, all those memories of your bittersweet love, it's overwhelming, nearly crushing.
“i know.” your heart aches, but you still deny the crave of the comfort of his arms. “and you’re not wrong,” the dagger clatters to the ground, the metallic sound echoing through the alleyway. 
“your heart is mine.” you push the veil to cover your face, placing your hands on his shoulder, leaning in. the cool silk brush against his parted lips, and oh… he’s been waiting so, so long for this moment.
though you pull away just as he comes to his senses. for the first time in years, he sees your smile again —the same smile that first captivated him, the one he had cherished and sought to preserve over the years. 
"remember the wish you owe me?" he nods, unable to find words. the memory of his promise resurfaces with startling clarity, his mind racing with the possibilities of what you might ask for. 
dan heng looks in the dagger's reflection; a dishevelled and broken man stares back.
the cold metal digs deep into his palm, the sharp edge slicing into his skin. in that moment, he wants nothing more than to be free of it, than to plunge the blade into his own heart. he feels the pain all over again, the pain of not being able to hold you, to touch you, to be with you.
for he knows that no matter how tightly he grips the dagger, it will never be the same as holding your hand. he knows that no matter how deeply it cuts into his flesh, it will never feel the same as holding you close.
“i wish i never loved you.” your words echo painfully in his mind. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” he releases the dagger with a sudden twist of his arm.
if choosing you over xianzhou was wrong, then consider him a sinner, and if loving you this much is his downfall, then consider him already on his knees.
but was it worth everything? was it worth it to see the look of utter desperation on his face? was it worth it to see him break apart in front of you? you feel only resentment and satisfaction; you made him feel what you wanted him to feel, you made him suffer for you.
the blade falls from his grasp, he stands amidst the shards of shattered illusions; the pain of your absence cuts deeper than any blade ever could. 
perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. 
for now, he honors your wish and only watches as you live on from the sidelines, yearning to be a part of your life again, even if only in his thoughts and dreams. he remains steadfast in his longing, a silent witness to the unspoken ache that lingers in the wake of your parting words.
masterlist
©lowkeyren 2024 only on tumblr. please do not plagiarize, translate, repost on other platforms, or feed my works into ai.
author's notes!! (my line of thought when writing this lul)
1. you made him suffer for you. -> irony. vengeance. he made you suffer BECAUSE of him granting you immortality. 2. dragging the blade down to his chest, positioning the point directly over his heart. = "my heart has always been yours anyway." -> which reader says with “your heart is mine.” 3. “and i hope we never cross paths again. goodbye, dan feng.” -> reader refers to dan heng as dan feng, i wonder what that means. 4. perhaps in another lifetime, he can find you again. -> you're both evil asf ngl, yes he will find you, you can't die aka you can't leave (him). ^ the only reason why he doesn't keep pursuing u now is cus he promised to grant your wish which is "to never cross paths again". (wow, he's such a man of his words.) 5. reader kisses dh over the veil, deliberately denying him the satisfaction of any intimacy. can be seen as a form of "punishment", leaving him yearning for more.
ty for reading xx for each reblog i will write 100 words for pt2 /j (BUT DO REBLOG IF U ENJOYED!! and it might not be a slash jay after all heuehehheh)
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cfyslvr · 3 months ago
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General smut headcanons
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→ author's note: honestly I have no idea where this came from, I started a baji × reader fic but uhh.. I got bored of it :) my apologies I promise I'll finish it asap. honestly writing this was a little tricky for me bc I've never looked at chifuyu this way but I also had a few ideas and wanted to put them out there + I'm lacking when it comes to activity and headcanons are much easier to write than a whole ass fic so- here it is ^^ lmk if y'all want any other characters and I'll do my best to write them asap !!
→ warnings: smut, 18+, timeskip chifuyu (you'll never see me sexualizing by little blond baby), fem!reader, I would say minors pls don't interact but I know that y'all will read it anyway so 🤷🏻‍♀️ i wrote this in like 15 minutes so it might not be the best
Y'ALL idk why but my stupid ass tumblr won't let me put three pictures like I usually do 😭 I've been trying for like 10 minutes now and it won't work so just deal with the one picture (I'm gonna kms)
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- depending on when you two started dating, there's like a 90% percent chance you were his first.
- i feel like he would respect your decision on whether you want to wait till marriage or not, he's okay with either.
- i saw some people making headcanons that he used to watch porn as a teenager, but tbh he doesn't really seem like that type of person to me so I'll say he didn't do that.
- although he most definitely did see some interesting stuff from takemichi's gang and their nasty ass comics 💀
- i can also say that he probably has visited porn sites, not bc he's a porn addict or anything but bc he was genuinely curious (like most of us are).
- i also saw some people saying he'd be into one night stands, but once again I'd have to disagree
- to me personally, he seems like someone who would want to build a relationship with someone before engaging in something so intimate as sex.
- I also feel like he would wait for at least a year or maybe even longer to do it, especially if it's both of yours first times.
- as I said before, he has visited porn sites and saw makoto & yamagishi's 18+ comics, so I wouldn't say he's ENTIRELY clueless, but definitely not experienced
- that's okay, you can just teach him what to do if it's not your first time
- or even better, you can learn together!
- he may not be experienced, but WHEN I TELL YOU he's 100% a fast learner
- he's great with oral, like when he first dove into u you almost couldn't believe it's his first time !!
- when it comes to his length, I feel like he'd be a little bit smaller than the others, but that doesn't mean he can't make you see stars if you ask him to ^^
- he's VERY gentle at first, almost too gentle (if that's possible)
- I feel like that'd be because he's nervous, it's (most likely) his first time and he doesn't want to hurt his precious girl 😔
- once he's fully inside of you, it might take him more time to adjust than you 💀 buuut once he starts moving it's heaven
- would be very slow at first, you'd have to straight up tell him if you want it rough
- he usually takes intimacy very seriously and despite being inexperienced somehow manages to find the PERFECT center of rough and gentle to make you feel amazing!!
- he's into petnames, both giving and receiving them
- I feel like his petnames would be very sweet, some stuff like "angel", "honey", "love" etc.
- I can imagine him being a bit uncomfortable with degrading you, would avoid calling you "slut" or anything similar unless you're REALLY into it
- even if he doesn't like calling you degrading nicknames, I feel like he wouldn't mind being called those petnames when you're on top
- speaking of top, he's a major switch
- can rock your world if you ask him to, but can also whine like a needy baby when you're on top
- absolutely ADORES when you ride him
- I feel like he would let out whimpers and soft moans when you take control, might be a bit embarrassed about it so you'll have to reassure him that you enjoy hearing those precious sounds
- he's not good with dirty talk when he doesn't it intentionally, but I feel like he somehow manages to get you all riled out by accident when he just says what's on his mind
- he's more of a thigh or boob type of guy, but wouldn't touch you without your permission
- once you give him the go, he'll suck the shii out of your tits (it might be a bit harder to pull him off them)
- he's favorite positions are any of the more intimate ones, but I feel like he'd usually go for the classic missionary one
- he may not be able to last a million rounds, maybe three or four at best, but those 3-4 rounds are enough to have you feeling completely used, but also extremely satisfied
- puts your satisfaction before his own
- I honestly have a hard time thinking of his kinks 💀 I imagine him more on the vanilla side but I feel like he'd enjoy having his hair pulled and doing the same to you if you're comfortable with it
- also likes marking and biting
- he prefers being the one receiving the little bite marks and hickeys, although he LOVES seeing your neck and thighs covered in small purple and red spots 🫶🏻
- he also loves it when you give him head, but couldn't force you to do it if you're not into it
- he's the KING of aftercare
- he'll wash you, dress you up, make the bed all warm and cozy, bring you water, he'll even cook for you if you ask him to
- refuses to go to sleep until he's 110% sure you're satisfied and he thinks he's done a good job at making you feel loved afterwards
- loves cuddling and falling asleep together after a session
- honestly I don't imagine him having a very high sex drive, he can live perfectly fine without doing it often, sometimes you'll even have to do specific things in order to turn him on
- will buy lingerie for you only if you're comfortable with it
- i think he isn't the type to jerk off way too much, but it definitely does happen here and there
- the first time he jerked off with you in his mind, he was probably looking through photos of you that he took of you while letting out the smallest whimpers of your name
- will be extremely ashamed after it and would act like he committed 500+ war crimes when he finally admits it to you
- feels extremely relieved when you say you don't mind it
- idk about you but I'd ask him to send whimpering audios when he's at it 🤷🏻‍♀️ (I can't help it his voice is so attractive)
- overall a great lover, intimacy with him is amazing !!
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© cfyslvr 2024 | please don't steal or repost my work on other platforms !! | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated !!
→ edit: y'all are nasty 😧 I legit posted this like a week or two ago and it got more likes than posts I made months ago wth (jkjk as long as I get likes) (jk again)
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sp6ncers · 2 months ago
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sunday morning — s reid
summary: reader is struggling on the anniversary of her trauma and spencer tries to comfort her.
spencer reid x fem! reader. angst, fluff? spencer's pov, 2nd person.
song: sunday morning by ethel cain
warnings/content: depression, trauma/ptsd, mentions of abuse & sexual assault (past), self deprecating talk from reader, hurt/comfort, established relationship, pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweet girl, angel), non-sexual showering together, allusions to self harm but not really
wc: ~ 2.8k
author's note : hai !! this is my first tumblr fic so pls bare with me while i figure out how everything on this app works 😭 this is a very self indulgent & angsty fic because idk i just wanted to write it to make me feel better about some stuff that happened to me lolol anyway i hope u enjoy & any feedback is appreciated !!! 💞
Spencer is drinking coffee at the kitchen table, a book settled in his hands, when you drag yourself out of the bedroom. His gaze flits away from the book, falling onto your dishevelled form. You don't even look up at him, your eyes staying low as you trudge towards the bathroom, feet dragging on the floor.
His eyebrows furrow in concern, his worried gaze following your journey until the door shuts. The faint click of the lock sounds in the otherwise quiet apartment. Sliding a bookmark into place, Spencer closes his book and sets it down on the table.
He tries to think logically. Maybe you're just tired. That's a simple, normal explanation. It's not like you'd even done anything to show that something is wrong — yet his gut still tells him that. He's a profiler, after all. He's trained to read body language. And the way you had held yourself as you had passed through was a clear sign of distress.
After a few minutes, you emerge from the bathroom, your eyes somehow even more tired than before. Again, you don't look at him, and his concern only grows.
"Good morning, angel," Spencer says gently, his voice soft and almost cautious.
He gets a barely audible hum of acknowledgment and nothing more as you disappear back into the bedroom, shoulders slumped.
Worry gnaws on his bones with its sharp teeth, making his legs feel weak as he stands up and crosses the apartment to the bedroom. His knuckles tap gently against the slightly open door as he slowly pushes it wider. His eyes fall on your form, curled up small beneath the covers which rise and fall in time with your slow breathing.
Quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, he says your name. But you don't answer.
Spencer knows your struggle with depression; he's known since the third date the two of you went on. He has always been there for you, good days and bad, and he has always been patient and gentle and understanding. He knows what it's like to be stuck in your own mind, bad thoughts like a cage around you. But he's never seen you like this before.
In the time that you have been together — and the two months living with each other — he's witnessed your mental health worsen and become better. He's been by your side when you've had breakdowns and couldn't even leave your apartment. He's researched every possible way to help you feel better. He's done all he could to help you.
But what he's never seen is you so deeply distressed that you can't even say hi to him. Every morning, no matter what, you say hi, or good morning, or ask how he slept. But not today. It worries him, a deep pit forming in his stomach and swallowing him whole.
Carefully, he makes his way over to the bed and sits on the edge. The dip of the mattress beneath his weight makes you look up. He notices the redness in your eyes and the exhaustion on your face. Had you slept at all last night?
"Hey," Spencer says quietly, shifting to sit beside you. "Are you feeling okay?"
You're quiet for a few moments, and he wonders if you just don't feel like speaking today. Of course, that would be fine with him, but he'd much prefer to hear your voice.
"I'm okay," you respond, but the crack in your voice tells him otherwise.
"You sure?" he asks gently. He knows that if he asks if you're sure, you'll tell him you're not really okay. That's how it always goes. He doesn't mind it, but he always wishes you'd just tell him the first time he asks.
The room falls quiet as you push yourself into a sitting position, your back against the headboard. His eyes trace over your face and body language, taking note of the way you wrap your arms around yourself in an almost protective way. Your eyes glisten with unshed tears, red-rimmed, the dark bags beneath them prominent. The soft light filtering through the curtains shines against your damp cheeks; it would be beautiful if you weren't so upset. His heart aches, hating how utterly sad and distressed you look. He wants to take away all your pain and bury it in himself rather than in you. He would so much rather be the one suffering with whatever is bothering you than have to see you like this.
Your bottom lip quivers as you manage to force out the word, "No."
Eyes softening, he watches as you sniffle and bring your hands to your face, pressing your palms into your eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Did something happen?" he asks softly. "Or is it just a bad day today?"
You shake your head, wiping your hands down your face as tears begin to fall once again. You take a deep, shaky breath before speaking, your body shuddering as you let the breath out. "No— no, it... it, um..."
You can't seem to put your thoughts into words, your sentences fragmented and unsure. Spencer reaches out a gentle hand, resting it on your shoulder to test the waters. When you don't shy away from his touch, he wraps an arm around you, pulling you close as his other hand comes up to your hair.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Take your time."
Another deep breath, your body trembling in his embrace as you turn to bury your face against him. He doesn't mind that your tears are soaking through his shirt. He just wants to make you feel better.
"It's..." You don't finish your sentence, instead letting out a quiet sob that breaks Spencer's heart.
Of course, he's seen you cry before. But it's never been this bad. He hates the feelings that build within him, the feeling of helplessness, of being unable to do anything to make you feel better. His mind feels fuzzy, but he knows that's nothing compared to what you must be feeling. He can't even imagine what's going on inside your head right now. Instead of speaking, instead of rushing you to open up, he simply holds you tighter, rubbing your back in what he hopes is a soothing motion.
The way your body shudders against him with each shaky breath and gasping sob makes him feel sick. He wishes there was something he could do to make you feel better, but all he can think of is to just hold you close.
"I— I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice shaky and breathless.
His eyebrows furrow at your apology. Shaking his head, Spencer holds you tighter. "Why are you sorry?"
He feels the movement of your shrug as you bury yourself further against him. "I'm being stupid," you mumble, your words followed by another pained sob, the sound muffled against him.
"You're not being stupid, angel. Not at all," he assures you. "Whatever is making you feel like this isn't stupid. If it's upsetting you this much, it is not stupid, okay?"
A quiet sound, something akin to a whimper, escapes your lips as you bunch up his shirt in your fists. He knows you need something to ground you. He would let you rip his shirt to shreds if you needed to.
"I want to help you," Spencer continues softly, his hand rubbing slowly over your back. "I want to help you feel better, sweetheart. Can you tell me what's upsetting you, please?"
He doesn't mean to rush you — that's not something he would ever want to do. All he wants is to find out why you're feeling this way and what he can do to help. Seeing you like this, so hurt and broken, is destroying him. It's like a mould, creeping through his body and over each inch of him until his entire being aches.
You hesitate for a few moments, sniffling softly as you pull yourself away from where you had burrowed into his chest. Your hands are harsh as you wipe the tears from your face, fingers digging into your skin. Spencer gently takes your hands in his, pulling them away from your face to prevent you from hurting yourself.
"Hey, don't do that, please," he says gently, holding your hands in his lap and rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. "I'm right here, okay? You can take as long as you need, but I'd really like to know what has you feeling like this, baby."
The breath you take in is deep and shaky, your body trembling as you sniffle. He reaches up one of his hands, cupping your cheek and gently wiping away your tears. "I love you, my sweet girl. So much. You can tell me anything, okay?"
Nodding, you lean your face into his palm and take a shaky breath. He watches you carefully, his thumb tenderly stroking over your cheek to comfort you. He knows that what you need to say won't be easy, not at all, and he knows you need a few moments to prepare yourself to say it. He waits quietly, patiently, listening to the shuddering breaths you take.
After a few moments, you finally speak. "Two years ago... I, um..."
You speak hesitantly, stumbling over your words as you try to get it out. Spencer's hand slips away from your face, trailing down your arm to hold your hand again. Giving your hand a reassuring squeeze, he stays silent to let you get this out.
"I was..." You trail off, swallowing nervously. After taking a deep breath, you wipe away your tears and attempt to continue. "I was in a relationship with a guy. He— he wasn't really, um, a good person."
The way you say it makes him nervous; his mind immediately goes to the worst possible places. He gives you another gentle squeeze, his other hand reaching up to carefully tuck your hair away from your damp, tearstained face. His touch is delicate and gentle, hoping he makes you feel better. You've barely even started explaining, but he feels his heart pounding and his throat growing tight with worry.
"We had been together for a— a few months, and... He'd, um, recently started getting kinda... I don't know. He— he'd started saying weird stuff and—"
You cut yourself off with a sniffle, blinking back more tears. Spencer can't imagine how hard this must be for you. His head is a mess, trapped somewhere between unfathomable worry and empathy for you, and anger at the fact that someone had hurt you so badly. He chews on his lip to stop himself from speaking as you brokenly explain what had happened on this day two years ago. His stomach twists, a nauseous feeling rising in his chest as you tell him how that man had violated your boundaries and ignored your protests to what he was doing. Each word is like a knife plunging into his chest, over and over and over. Each hurt little whimper as you recall the story breaks his heart further.
"He—" You sniffle again, blinking harshly as tears paint your skin. "I'm sorry," you mumble, wiping away your tears on your sleeve.
"Don't apologise," Spencer replies gently with a shake of his head as he gives your hand a squeeze. "Take your time, sweetheart."
Taking another trembling breath, you continue in a quiet, broken voice. "There were... there were bruises where h-he had grabbed me. It— it was like a reminder of what happened. I— I know that I should've... I should've ended things before it got that far, but I..." Your voice trails off. He knows what you mean. He's studied human behaviour enough to understand how abusive and manipulative relationships affect someone, making it difficult to leave.
"I just... I didn't know how. And— and I didn't really have anyone to— to go to," you murmur. "And I know... I know it's stupid to still be upset about it... But I just... I can still f-feel his hands on me, and— and I hate it. I— I can't get him off. Please get him off."
Your face crumples as you end your sentence with a sob, your shoulders shuddering. He carefully pulls you back into him, resting your head against his chest. One hand strokes your hair as the other securely wraps around you in the way he knows makes you feel better. His heart is in pieces, completely broken from what you'd told him. You haven't given him too much detail — he doesn't expect you to do that — but what you've said is enough for him to understand. He understands what happened is horrible, and awful, and sickening. He understands that you feel like you can't cleanse yourself from that awful man's touch. He understands that you might still be scared of your trust being broken again.
"It's okay," Spencer whispers, kissing the top of your head. "It isn't stupid to be upset. It's rational. It's normal. What happened to you was terrible, and I am so, so sorry you had to go through that, angel. I hope you know that it wasn't your fault. At all. And I promise you — I promise — you are safe with me."
You sniffle softly, and he can tell you're trying to control your shaky breathing. He continues to gently stroke your hair as his thumb rubs small circles on your waist through the fabric of your sweater. You shift against him, your fist rubbing at your eye.
"I'll never let anything like that happen to you ever again. I promise," he tells you softly, his voice sincere. He really hopes you know that he would never even think of doing that to you, but he understands that you might still be wary. "I love you more than anything."
It's quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds being your trembling breaths and occasional sniffles. He continues to hold you against him, trying to bring you comfort. He's glad you told him, and he hopes that you feel better now that you have, at least a little bit. His mind is a mess of emotions, but right now he just wants to focus on helping you calm down. He can deal with his own thoughts once he knows that you're okay. Sure, that isn't exactly a healthy way to deal with things, but he doesn't know what else there is to do.
"Everything hurts," you murmur, your voice muffled against him. He's not exactly sure what you mean, whether you're physically in pain or if it's just emotional turmoil, but either way, he wants to help.
"Do you want me to run you a shower?" he asks quietly. "Or get you a drink? Breakfast?"
"Shower," you whisper, your voice slightly hoarse from crying. "Please."
"Of course. Stay here."
Spencer carefully removes his arms from around you, his lips ghosting over your forehead in a soft kiss as he stands up. Heading into the bathroom, he turns on the shower and heats it up to the temperature he knows you like. After turning on the radiator and setting a towel on top to warm up, he walks back into the bedroom to find you looking much more calm than before. Giving you a gentle smile, he takes your hand and helps you up off the bed, guiding you into the bathroom.
Not wanting to overstep or make you uncomfortable, he asks, "Do you want me to stay?"
"Please," you respond softly with a nod.
"Okay," he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. "Should I come in with you, or—"
You give another nod in response before he can even finish the question. Slowly, tenderly, he helps you undress, taking note of the reddish marks on your skin. He assumes they're from where you showered yesterday and desperately tried to cleanse yourself of your ex's touch, your hands harsh and uncaring as you had scrubbed at your skin. His chest feels tight at the thought.
Following suit and undressing himself, he guides you into the shower so that you're standing beneath the warm spray of water. His touch is gentle and caring as he washes your hair the way you'd taught him. He makes sure you're okay before washing your body. Whispering quiet reassurances to you, Spencer rinses the soap suds from your skin and lets you wash his hair with a soft smile on his face. Once you're both finished, he pulls you into his arms and rests his chin on the top of your head.
"Except you," you murmur, and he almost doesn't hear it over the sound of the shower.
"Hm?" he hums, not sure what you mean.
"Everything hurts, except from you."
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auroreliis · 1 year ago
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pls we need more father-daughter moments with bruce because almost all of the yandere batfam fics i’ve read in tumblr always focuses on the bros 😭😭
Platonic Yandere!Bruce Wayne
Summary: Your father protects you from your brothers.
CW: mention of bugs
(not edited or proofread)
Rapid footsteps echoed through the manor. The quiet treading belonged to you and the more audible stomps were from your brother, Dick. Your panting was not missed by the individual chasing you. It was clear that you were getting worn out.
Currently, you were attempting to avoid getting hugged by Dick, who, being as touchy as he is, did not appreciate you steering clear of his squeeze. He had hugged all of his siblings and none of them were as resilient as you, so why did you have to avoid him like this?
You darted past all possible hiding places, since you were sure it would only be a matter of time until he found you, instead opting to run. Your knees bent slightly as you were rounding the corner, in order to be able to push yourself forward with a little more power.
What you couldn't have expected, was that you would run directly into your father's chest. The sudden blockage caused you to stop and look up at him, before remembering that you were on the run. Your head turned and you saw Dick getting closer to you. Out of panic, you hid behind Bruce, who raised a brow at your eldest brother.
Dick came to a halt directly in front of Bruce, who had crossed his arms by now.
"Richard, would you explain the situation to me? I don't quite understand why your sibling is running from you", he said, not mentioning the fact that your nails were digging into his back.
"They've been running from me every time I try to even touch them. I don't want them to distance themselves, they need to be involved more", said Richard, distressed by your sidestepping.
Bruce hummed in thought. "I'll talk to them", his tone signaling that Richard should leave.
Dick huffed before stomping away.
Your father finally turned to you and waited for your explanation.
A sigh escaped your lips and you dropped your head, "Sorry, I just...felt overwhelmed. I'm not really fond of physical contact, but I'll work on it, I promise." You did slightly cringe at your own words, but by now you had learned that complying with their wishes was much more rewarding than disobeying them.
You kept your head low, waiting for his acknowledgement, when a hand landed on your head. You looked up at him, eyebrow raised in confusion, but he just looked at you. He gave your head two light pats before smiling and walking away.
Looking around, you remembered that you had escaped Richard without giving in to his affection.
A radiant smile lit up your face as you scurried off to your room.
~~~~~
"Oh come on! It won't hurt you, will it?", shouted your brother, Jason, as he chased you through the manor, cockroach in hand, ready to be shoved in your face.
He had found it in his helmet and you immediately expressed your repulsion and highlighted the fact that he must be very filthy.
Jason, offended by this comment, decided to make you filthy too, by rubbing a bug on your nose, or at least attempting to. You bolted out of his room at a speed that would put The Flash to shame, but he caught up with you and promised that he wouldn't leave you alone as long as you were clean.
You barely paid attention to your surroundings as you ran through the halls and turned every nearing corner, yet you somehow ended up in the kitchen, where your father was currently conversing with Alfred.
"DAD HELP!", was all you needed to say to have Bruce step between you and Jason, taking on a protective stance.
Jason saw this and stopped, not even having entered the kitchen yet.
Both of them stared at each other silently before Jason turned around and left, presumably deciding that he had better things to do than getting scolded by Bruce.
He muttered a few curse words under his breath and for a moment you feared that you would wake up to him at the foot of your bed, holding a handful of bugs.
"Why was he chasing you?", your father's question brought you back to the situation at hand. "Uh..", you weren't sure how to phrase this without making Jason seem nefarious, "He wanted to show me a bug, but I didn't want to see it, so I ran!"
Bruce inhaled, as if he was about to talk, but you beat him to it, "But! You saved me, thank you!" You hugged him and smiled innocently, praying he stops asking questions.
It seems that he noticed your reluctance to elaborate, so he left it at that and you disappeared within seconds.
This wasn't the first time your father had saved you from your brothers and it most certainly won't be the last.
It was kind of funny how you always seemed to run into him when you were in trouble.
Perhaps it was fate guiding you to your saviour.
It matters not.
All that mattered was that you were thankful for your father's help and understanding, even if his timing was suspiciously accurate.
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babypinkbruno · 3 months ago
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what to do when the movie is boring - bruno smut <3
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pairing: Bruno Bucciarati x Yn (it's girl coded, im sorry T_T)
summary: cutie Bruno gets head. that is all.
warnings: none unless you don't mind smut?? do not interact if you're a minor pls. seriously, just don't, it's not for you littlies.
word count: 1.2k
i need him so bad, omg. this is so silly idk why i'm nervous posting smut to tumblr lol. not edited but i might revisit it idk, let me know what you think!
‘You wanna get snacks?’ Yn asks, turning to Bruno. ‘What are you looking at me like that for?’ Bruno blinks, coming of a daze. A delicate smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. ‘What? Sorry, I was, uh…’
‘Daydreaming?’ Yn says, tilting her head to the side. ‘What about?’ Bruno flicks her chin gently. ‘Just you. You look beautiful tonight.’ Pink blossoms over Yn’s cheeks. ‘Hush. You’re teasing me. Snacks?’ Bruno grins, a silly, goofy sight that is rare for him. ‘Sure. You pick.’ It is cool and dark in the theatre, the delicious smell of popcorn and various other snacks floating in the air as the two of them take their seat at the back. ‘Doesn’t look like many people are here.’ Yn peers into the rows below them. ‘No, it looks pretty empty. There’s only a couple of people other than us.’ ‘I hope that it’s not a reflection of the movie,’ Bruno says, scrunching his nose as he thinks. ‘Well, if it does,’ Yn says, getting comfortable in the seat, ‘we can just make out.’ Bruno looks at her sharply, and then softens. ‘Well… I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. If no one saw us.’ Yn’s eyes flash mischieviously. ‘Not one for voyeurism?’ Bruno’s face flushes a lovely pink in the soft theatre glow. ‘What–’
‘Okay, shush,’ Yn says suddenly, placing a quick kiss to Bruno’s cheek, his skin warm under her lips. ‘The movie’s starting.’
Indeed the movie was boring. Thirty minutes in and Yn yawns, resting her head on Bruno’s shoulder. He absently strokes her bare thigh, the fabric of her dress rising ever so slightly without him realising until she looks up at him and presses a kiss to his neck. ‘What are you doing, darling?’ He whispers with a shiver. ‘Nothing, just–’ she kisses down his neck, pulling his collar away, ‘giving you little lovings.’ ‘Is that so?’ ‘Your hand is in dangerous territory, you know,’ Yn murmurs against his neck. She sucks on the soft skin, warm and sweet. Bruno’s breath hitches in his throat. He squeezes her thigh in his hand, smoothing the soft flesh in his palm. ‘Is it?’ ‘You hadn’t noticed?’ Yn leans over the armrest to press a kiss to his collarbone. ‘Hmmm…’
Yn decides to be bold. She strokes his chest, his tummy, and tugs on his belt, smiling when Bruno looks at her with a soft gasp.
‘May I?’
‘May you what?’ Bruno asks softly, eyes widening. ‘You seem to be straining against your belt…’ Yn purrs. ‘It must be awfully uncomfortable… Why don’t I fix it for you?’
Bruno manages to roll his eyes playfully, a soft smile gracing his lovely mouth. ‘What do you think you’re doing, sweet girl?’
Yn grins, unbuckling his belt and pressing her mouth to his. The kiss is soft for a moment before Bruno moves his hand to her neck, pulling her closer to him. He slips his tongue in between her lips, tasting her. A soft moan escapes his throat as Yn slips her hand down the front of his trousers, finding him warm and hardened already. She strokes slowly, the heat between them growing as their breaths become heavier.
Yn pulls away slightly, meeting his half-lidded gaze. ‘I want to taste you.’
Bruno blinks, distracted. ‘W-what? Here? Now?’
Yn nods, pressing soft kisses along his jaw.
‘You…’ Bruno whispers, stroking her check. His breath is hot on her lips, sweet like lemonade. ‘You really aren’t bothered if we get caught?’
‘Let them watch.’
‘Jesus,’ Bruno hisses, as she squeezes the tip of his cock gently.
‘Is that a yes?’ Yn murmurs, kissing the corner of his mouth.
Bruno nods, and hopes that it is dark enough in the theatre to get away with this.
Yn grins, slipping off the seat and onto the floor in front of him. She gently pushes his knees apart, stroking the insides of his thighs. Excitement is a lovely quickening heartbeat in her ears, and she swallows, her mouth already watering. She pulls his trousers down a little more, freeing his cock from their constraints.
Yn spits on her hands and strokes slowly, looking up at him, though only just making out the contours of his face in the movie screen’s light. He truly is beautiful, she thinks, the way his nose scrunches when he is deep in thought, the furrowing in his eyebrows, and the way his lovely ocean eyes lose focus when he is pleasured by her. She presses a kiss to his tip, rubbing her lips against the swollen head, and smiles as a tiny gasp escapes his lips.
Then she presses down, swirling her tongue around him and licking a delicious stripe slowly from base to ti. Warm and wet. She takes him into her mouth, resisting a giggle at the way he stifles a groan when he hits the back of her throat.
Yn looks up at him through her lashes and he meets her gaze. She holds it as she sucks gently, pulling away and taking him again, and again. She plays with his balls, the smooth skin tightening under her soft stroking and squeezing.
‘Oh, god,’ Bruno murmurs, biting his lip. He grips the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her hair. ‘Just like that, sweet girl.’
Yn tries not to smile, her rhythm picking up pace as he grips her hair, tight and urgent. She squirms, rubbing her thighs together – the inside of her panties are an absolute mess already.
Bruno pants softly, sweat beading on his skin, his hair sticking to his forehead. He glances around, checking if anyone has heard them yet but as far as he is aware in his very dazed state, every lonely individual in the theatre is focused on the movie. ‘Yn…’
‘Hmm?’ Yn pauses, looking up at him, her eyes wide and innocent.
Bruno shakes his head. ‘Keep going, keep… going,’ he pants, bucking his hips up, pushing into her warm mouth with a moan. He grips the armrests, imagining the sounds she might make if he bent her over the chair and fucked her right then and there, sinking his cock into her sweet pussy instead of her mouth. He licks his lips, hungry for her as he looks down, watching himself disappear, her pretty pink lips wrapped around his length.
‘Fuck, you’re so pretty,’ Bruno pants. ‘That’s my girl… My good girl…’
Yn whimpers as she sucks him a little harder, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, willing herself not to gag but doing it anyway as Bruno fucks her mouth.
‘I–I’m close…’ He murmurs, gripping her hair. Yn’s too full of him to respond, sucking him with a fervent focus, willing him to give her all of him. Tears roll down her cheeks as she gags again, his cock twitching as it hits the back of her throat with force.
A moment later, a strangled moan stifled by his arm as he spills himself into her mouth, hot and sticky.
Yn swallows, sucking him slowly as he rides out the pleasure, and then pulls back with a small ‘pop’ of her lips. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, meeting Bruno’s eyes.
He peers at her from underneath his arm thrown over his face, catching his breath, and gives her a smile. ‘C’mere, you gorgeous girl.’
Yn grins, reaching up to kiss him. ‘How was that?’ She murmurs against his mouth.
‘It’s worthy of everything I’m going to do to you when we get home…’ Bruno replies, nibbling at her lip. ‘Let’s go.’
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jiyascepter · 8 months ago
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───── May
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So I decided that I should be making my monthly reading lists to promote some fellow writers even more, even if one person reads a fic from here it would change something, wouldn't it?
(idk if tumblr would let me tag so many writers at once, but the links to fics work so pls check out their profiles too!)
And also if I ever want to reread them it would be easier to find 👀 I'll try my best to make these lists every month ✨️
So here are some lovely fanfics I've read this month, please make sure to give them some love by commenting or reblogging, it means a lot to us writers 🤍
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Fluff: 🥰 | Angst: 💔 | Hurt/Comfort: ❤️‍🩹 | Smut: 🔥 | Dark: 🖤 | Humor: 😆
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@ijuststareatstuffhereok89
Loki's Island Fever [Avengers!Loki x reader] | ongoing 🔥😆
@vbecker10
Talk to Me [Loki x f!reader] Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 is wip | ❤️‍🩹🥰
@lokischambermaid
From The Horny Misadventures of Nomad Steve:
Disciplinary Action [Nomad!Steve Rogers x Agent!reader] 🔥
Positive Reinforcement [Nomad!Steve Rogers x Agent!reader] 🔥😆
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@lokisgoodgirl
Distractions [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Like a Queen [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Also check out her upcoming series : The Rite
@buckys-wintersoldier
His name, his property [Dark!Steve Kemp x f!reader] 🖤🔥
Glazed (donut) Holes [Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x girlfriend!reader] 🔥
Teasing [Dom Bf!Bucky x Sub gf!reader] 🔥
Little Perv co-written with @lanabuckybarnes [Stepbrother!Bucky Barnes x Stepsister!Reader x BestFriend!Steve Rogers] 🔥
Bucky Offers You a Better Job [CEO!Bucky x Assistant f!reader] 🔥
Domination [SoftDom!Bucky x Sub!reader] 🔥
How Love Works [Ransom Drysdale x reader] 🥰
@foxherder
Loki imagine (based off The Avengers) [Loki x reader] 🥰
@vbecker10
Help you bear it [Loki x f!reader] ❤️‍🩹
You Can't Hurt Me [Loki x f!reader] ❤️‍🩹
What Prank? [Bucky x f!reader] 🥰😆
Running Into Trouble [Loki x f!reader] 🥰
Whatever It Takes [Loki x f!reader] 🥰 slight🔥
The Dress [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
Don't Forget [Loki x Disabled Female reader] 🥰❤️‍🩹
@loki-cees-all
Keeping Score [TVA!Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@sarahscribbles
Vanilla and Honeycomb [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@bookishtheaterlover7
How Long Could We Be a Sad Song? [Chris Evans x Secret Girlfriend!Reader] 💔
@muddyorbsblr
Curiosities [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
@mischiefmaker615
Feral [Frost Giant!Loki x f!reader] 🖤🔥
@buckets-and-trees
Give Up [Alpha!Bucky x Fem Omega!reader] 🔥
@simplyholl
The Interview [Rockstar!Bucky x f!reader] 🔥
Truly Desperate [Loki x f!reader] 🔥😆
@lulubelle814
The Accident and the Misunderstanding [Tom Hiddleston x Reader] 💔🥰
@sergeantbarnessdoll
You Stayed [Steve Kemp x reader] 🥰
@buckysdarling
If You Wanna Come, Give My Brother Some [Steve x reader x Bucky] 🔥
@mrs-illyrian-baby
No Sacrifice Without Blood [Vampire!Loki x reader] 🖤🔥
@divine-knight-hand
A Show Of Temptation [Loki x f!reader] 🔥
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So yeah these were all the amazing stories I read this month, make sure to give these a read ! Also if you have any fic recs please let me know ;)
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venomsrealgf · 2 months ago
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Hazard x Reader - You little Gommy
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first tumblr post!!! need more fics of him omg pls 1.1k words fluff!! sorry scotland if i fucked up ur language - The quiet atmosphere was deafening, a place usually so full of laughter and talking, suddenly turned to the complete opposite. Everyone in the gang had left to steal a high tech weapon from the Oasis. Well, everyone but her. She stared at the ceiling, the bed creaking a little bit as she moved. Her eyes wandered across the whole room, going through every little detail as if she had never been there before. Boredom can really make a person mad huh?  Her eyes looked through the photos they had taken together as a family. Some of them only have certain people and so on. Her eyes lingered on the picture of her and Findlay, well he is better known as Hazard. She slowly got up from the bed, walking towards the counter and staring at the holographic picture. In the picture they both stared at the camera smiling widely as he held it up, she remembered when they took this photo. It took him so long to figure out how to press one button and she couldn’t stop laughing at him. Such a small thing had such a big impact on her memories. She couldn’t help but let a small smile form on her face as she remembered A sudden sharp pain however had that smile wipe away. She let out a loud groan, her hand immediately flying to hold her side. Oh right, she had gotten hurt during action in their last mission. A guard sneaked up to her and landed a very mean punch to her side, bruising the whole side. Yeah the guard had some sort of knuckle braces or something, was a hard hit anyway. She could remember being so scared that her ribs had been busted, or that the braces had gone deep into her skin, good thing it was none of that. Ribs just got bruised a lot, very painful. She cursed to herself as she tried heading back to bed, only for the pain to strike her back two times worse now. She could only stand still, holding her side, even if touching it wasn’t the best idea either. She leaned on the counter, keeping her balance, waiting for the stronger pain to pass. It was at that moment she heard the faint muffled noise of an engine coming closer and closer. It must be the gang! FUCK! They couldn’t see her out of the bed, she tried to walk forward, pushing through the pain. The quick movements made everything worse, one bad move caused her to twist in a bad way and she fell down onto her knees, fighting against her angry tears. She felt so fucking useless like this. She heard the heavy door to their hideout open, bringing with it loud laughter and quick chatter. One of the voices really stood out to her, Hazard. “We really tore tha' place down ay?!” He laughed, his heavy Scottish accent so intoxicating to her. “You really scared us there for a moment champ.” BoomSlang said, shaking her head as if disappointed even though a smile rested on her face. “Ah! You woulda’ done the same if you were in my place.” He chuckled, giving her back a few pats before walking past all of them. “‘Right. I'm gonna head to bed, don’t do ‘nothin stupid without me!” He waved his hand before disappearing down the hall Hazard walked further from the laughter and chatter of his friends, his steps confident and full of energy. His mind was racing, thinking about everything that happened today. One thing he knows for sure though is that he feels fucking awesome and that he cannot wait to embrace his little darling.
He neared his room and as he finally stopped in front of the door he listened for a moment. Considering there was light coming from the small crack below the door and if she was doing something, but he couldn’t hear anything, perhaps she was still sleeping and recovering. He smiled to himself, opening the door slowly. He was not expecting to see her on the floor on her knees holding her side, trying to lift herself up. “Whadda’ ya doin bonny??!” He said a bit urgently, rushing to her side. “I’m sorry Lay’... I just don't know. I was looking at the pictures, completely forgetting my predicament.” She sighed, looking up at him. “You little gommy. Let’s get ya back to bad ‘right?” He said softly, carefully maneuvering his cybernetic arms to not hurt her. “Thank you..” She mumbled, accepting his gentle help. Once he had her safely tucked under the covers he sat down on the side of the bed, the mattress sinking a bit under her weight. He turned his head over his shoulder, staring at her. She stared back, captivated by his pretty eyes, her cheeks burning up a bit. He chuckled, turning himself around a bit more, so that his whole upper body was now in her line of sight. “Aye.. ya know you can always ask for help right?” He smiled at her, using his left hand to caress her cheek lovingly. “Just don’t wanna be a bother to you…” She mumbled, leaning her head into his palm. “You could neva’ bother me ya numpty. I love you after all don’t i?” He chuckled. She blushed at his words, she had been together with him long enough to figure out some of the slang he used when referring to her or other people. Right now he called her a lovable moron, some people could get offended but they loved lovingly insulting each other, just part of their love language really.
“Alright, you get some sleep yeah? Otherwise yer gonna miss that beauty sleep of yous.” Hazard said, about to get up from the bed to give her some alone time, only to be stopped by a hand quickly latching onto his wrist. She winched a little bit at the sudden movement again, but nothing was going to stop her from speaking her mind. “Wait, please. Could you.. stay with me hun..? I just.. I don't wanna sleep alone, and I need your company..” She asked quietly.
“You know I could neva’ say no to you.” He slowly and carefully climbed into the bed, thankful he had switched out his gun for his other cybernetic arm so that it would be less uncomfortable for her to sleep on. She smiled at him, and snuggled up beside him, his body a walking furnace, she felt so safe and warm beside him. He stared down at her, running his fingers through her hair to soothe her nerves. She looked up at him and motioned for him to lean down a bit which he did. Her lips slowly landed on his, giving him a long kiss goodnight. “Sleep well lassie.” “You too dummy.” - I TRIED!!! Please hazard lovers request stories so i stay motivated
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