#please... she’s only mentioned afterwards

[andersnordic]

Excerpts and information from Breivik’s interrogations.

In Norway, it’s important to mention that police focus on building trust through communication and empathy in order to get information. Norwegian police do not focus on “breaking down” suspects with manipulation or persuasion.

To them, it’s not an “interrogation”, it’s an interview. Hence the name, “investigative interviewing”.

[via Herbert L. Packer]

When Breivik was arrested, he said immediately “I am not alone. Cell 2 and Cell 3 will activate quite soon.”

Ten minutes into his interview, he spoke again, “you have to realize that what happened today is just firecrackers compared to what is going to happen. I am a member of a pan-European organization called the Knights Templar, cells 2 and 3 in Norway will activate.”

When faced with information like this, it’s crucial that you obtain as much information as possible. Norwegian police took him very seriously.

Breivik was interviewed 31 times over 9 months. This totals to about 220 hours of interviewing.

The public has access to none of it, aside from a transcript from his initial post arrest interview which was briefly leaked to the public after it had been stolen from the city’s police station.

Here is a small clip that I’ve translated below.

Breivik: So you've been given the regrettable task, and the honor of interrogating the biggest monster in Norwegian history since Quisling? (Quisling was a Norwegian military officer, and Nazi who helped Nazi Germany invade Norway)

Interviewer: No, I don’t see it that way. I’m going to talk to you and try to get as much information as possible about what happened and why.

Another image. he took off his shoes, lol

his interrogation team had four members: Team leader Knut Jensen, and members Geir-Egil Løken, Nina Holm Andersen (who you see in the images), and Kim Ordal.

Nina Holm Andersen was the first person to interview Breivik following his attack. Initially, they were slightly skeptical due to how they believed Breivik viewed women. They knew he saw them in a very old fashioned manner— they should stay at home, cook and clean, take care of children, etc. They were shocked to see that his first words to her (what I translated above) weren’t hostile at all.

He was extremely cooperative- Løken says that he understood his role immediately, and knew what the interrogators were there to do. He spoke without being asked many questions.

Only a few things did he refuse to elaborate on- He was very aware of what he had done. In the first interview, he said “What your bosses want now from me is some kind of information that could make the Norwegian people say that it’s over. It is not in my interest to give you that now because fear is what drives terrorism. This is why we do it.”

Breivik got extremely comfortable during his interviews, and admitted to regretting the fact that he spoke so much. During his trial, he said “Please, can’t we do this like we did in the interviews. Let me explain and you ask afterwards.”

They even held some interviews on Utøya, which is home to some of my favorite images of him. He’s on a leash.

Some notable words from Breivik during his interviews include, but aren’t limited to:

[“I walked up behind them and pointed a gun at the first man, and my body was not able to pull the trigger because it is such an awful action, and this lady turned around and looked at me and she said ‘you cannot point the pistol at this guy,’ and then I had to start. I shot him in the head and I shot her in the head and I went over to them and put two bullets in their heads.” Said with minimal emotion and remorse.]

[Breivik, On Utøya: “well it’s obvious what happened here, it was one, two, three, four persons standing there, I shot them like this, one, two, three, four and then I finished them off like this. That’s obvious.”

Løken, to Breivik: “What makes it obvious?”

Breivik: “Well you can see the blood stains on the floor here. So that is what must have happened.”

Løken: “Don’t focus on what you think happened. Focus on what you actually remember.”

Breivik: “Well actually I do not remember anything from this room.”

(I find it important to note that in retrospect, Løken refers to Breivik as a “good boy” when describing this interaction. He says that those words from him were very important because it revealed he was trying to perform for them, and that he wanted to be the “best one”. He was trying to explain everything for them the best he could.

They even praised him on break, saying that he had done very good for them simply to get him to cooperate more)]

[wintrbears]

Universal Truths | JJK

Summary: You took the risk of falling in love in a world where your perfect match is decided for you by the universe itself. When a name you never could've predicted appears on your wrist, you do everything you can to stop the inevitable.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader, (Brief) Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU, Boyfriend's Best Friend, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 19.3k+

Warnings: swearing, drinking, partying, yelling, crying, lying, heartbreak, physical pain, injury, burning sensations, cramping, chest aches, lose of appetite, vomiting, insomnia, mentions of UTI and mono, emotional cheating (kinda), a break-up, loss of friendship, use of pet names (baby, pumpkin, princess), soccer, use of sports lingo, fear of heights, tattoos. SMUT: one-night stands, kissing, hair pulling, fingering, hand job, oral sex (both receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (she's on bc), missionary, dick riding, big dick!jk bc I'm nothing if not accurate, cum swallowing (m & f), spitting, gagging via hand, cream pie, scratching, aftercare, please lmk if I missed any!

Author's Note: I've returned from my mandatory military service (writer's block) after over two years. I'm very excited to be writing again and hope you all love this one as much as I do. It's my first time posting smut that I've written so I'm v nervous and would appreciate any feedback on that or the story as a whole. Please, please let me know what you think :)

Your thighs are growing sore from the metal of the bleachers digging into them. Taehyung warned you to bring your bleacher seat, but in your rush out the door tonight you forgot it. Shifting uncomfortably, you rise up just enough to readjust your clothes to create a barrier between you and the cold steel.

The girl next to you chuckles at your situation.

You don’t know her very well and honestly you barely remember her name. Jisoo? Jihyo? It isn’t in your best interest to try and memorize the many women who accompany you to these games.

As if to make matters worse, it’s a night game, and the brisk wind of nighttime is nipping at your thighs through your jeans. 

What’s-her-name is wearing a skirt and tights, even though you told Jungkook to tell her she should dress warmly. You’re too nice for your own good; trying to keep these women comfortable while they cheer for your team for the sole purpose of spending their night with the star player afterwards.

Jeon Jungkook is only a sophomore, while your boyfriend, Kim Taehyung, is a junior. Nevertheless, Jungkook can only be described as a goddamn soccer prodigy, and as such he has garnered most of the attention since joining the team. 

It’s certainly no skin off your back. You don’t need hordes of women trying to get at your man. Jungkook can keep all that attention for himself. Which he does. Joyously.

There is no resentment or judgement towards Jungkook for the fact that you come to these games with a new woman every week. Some would even say he’s making smarter choices than you are by having a serious, long-term boyfriend whose name isn’t tattooed on your wrist. 

At some point during young adulthood a name appears on everyone’s wrist indicating who their soulmate is. Impossible to predict nor refute, they could be a stranger you’ll meet down the line, someone you’ve known since childhood, or anything in between. Many people, such as yourself, allow love into their hearts regardless of the impending reveal of one’s soulmate. 

Truthfully, if Taehyung isn’t your soulmate, you don’t know who the hell could be. A perfect match doesn’t even scratch the surface of him. He’s attentive, always catching on when your mood shifts. Considerate, asking for your input over the most menial decisions. And loving, holding you close and providing you with unyielding affection. Taehyung will do whatever it takes to bring you happiness and you strive to reciprocate that.

You were introduced to your now-boyfriend by none other than Jungkook. The pair are childhood best friends who’ve been playing soccer together since they could kick a ball. It was over freshman orientation weekend after you and Jungkook were assigned to the same icebreaker group. Upon mingling for the day, Jungkook served his best friend to you on a silver platter and the rest is history. As soon as you saw his boxy grin, being around him became a non-negotiable. 

There is a piece of you that refuses to admit your soulmate could be anyone else, but the rest of you knows how great the possibility is. A gnawing anxiety finds its way into your bones every once in a while. 

Your fingers dance across your wrist in thought, pressing down against your vein to feel your pulse. 

When you look up, it’s just in time to see your boyfriend’s best friend scoring a goal. Ji-something stands up to cheer as loud as she can. The soccer field is large, but not that large. She only needs half the volume to get her message across. 

You chuckle at Jungkook’s entire face going red when he hears her holler. He scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his position for the next set of plays. 

Eyes perusing for a familiar head of black curls, you find your boyfriend in his defensive position. A smile creeps in without you realizing as pride swells in your chest. You clap when he successfully prevents the other team from scoring, but don’t make yourself as known as your companion. 

A wishful sigh breaks you from your admiration. 

“I wish Jungkook would settle down like Taehyung has,” the girl pouts. 

“Well, I think he’s trying to spare both your feelings, don’t you think?” You’ve had this conversation one too many times with one too many girls. “Neither of you know if you’re soulmates and getting into a relationship could lead to heartache.” 

“Then why did you do it?”

That’s a great question, and one you wish you knew the answer to. Your nature is cautious and you've always been prudent when it comes to love. Prior to college, your plan was to remain single until your tattoo materialized. There were hookups occasionally during your high school years, but never once breaching into the realm of dating.

“I just fell in love, and the idea of not being with him hurt more than the possibility that he isn’t my soulmate.”

“Wow,” she stares in awe. “That’s so romantic.”

You only grant her a nod before reverting your attention back to the game. It’s nearly over now which means you can finally get your arms around Taehyung and hold him close for the rest of the night. 

The team is victorious as usual and the players gather around in the center to celebrate their victory with an indiscernible cheer. Leading your companion down the bleachers, you wait at the separation between the stands and the field as both boys come jogging over.

Taehyung’s smile is radiant as he beams. He pulls you in for a kiss immediately once he reaches you. You’re giggling against his lips as he pecks you repeatedly in quick succession.

“Proud of you, baby,” you whisper into his mouth. 

You steal his hand from behind your head to lace his fingers with yours. When you glance over, Jungkook is speaking with his woman-of-the-week. Although, you aren’t sure you can describe her eager rambling and his mindless nodding as a conversation.

Taehyung’s knowing chuckle meets your ear.

“They never learn,” he says.

“Oh no, she knows she’s disposable,” you correct. “She just wants him bad enough not to care.”

“JK,” Taehyung grabs the younger one’s attention. “We’re gonna grab dinner, you and Jiseon wanna join?”

Wow, you feel like such an asshole. If Taehyung can remember her name surely you should’ve. 

“Nah, we’re good.” 

Jungkook winks at his friend and you feign a gag sound. Sticking your finger near your mouth for dramatic effect. Jungkook only rolls his eyes before waving goodbye. The brat didn’t even thank you for entertaining his little fling tonight. Unbelievable. 

Besides his questionable choices in sexual partners, you genuinely enjoy Jungkook’s company. You aren’t necessarily close, but he’s around enough that you know his favorite food and band. You know that he’s sweet and caring towards the people in his life. And he certainly doesn’t mistreat the women he spends his time with. There is a thick boundary laid before anyone ever steps foot inside his apartment. His girls know exactly what they’re signing up for. 

After dinner, Taehyung walks you back to your place while reminiscing over the most exciting moments of the game. You listen intently while swinging your connected hands back and forth between you. 

He spends the night like he often does after a Friday night game and you wake up together just in time to catch brunch at the closest dining hall. 

While you dress in the comfiest outfit you own, your boyfriend’s voice is telling someone where you’ll be. He ends the call with a quick goodbye before leaning in the doorway of your bathroom.

“JK’s meeting us for brunch, if that’s ok?”

“Is his girly friend joining?”

“Nope,” he says with a pop of his lips. Your head hangs as you chuckle. Figures. 

When you turn around, Taehyung is admiring you like you aren’t in an old hoodie and sweatpants. His hands reach for your waist, pulling you closer and enveloping you into his chest. You sigh, resting your head where his heartbeat can be heard.

“I love you, pumpkin,” he says with a kiss to your hair. You rest your chin on his sternum to get a better view.

“I love you more, handsome,” you reply. 

He kisses you briefly before dragging you from the warmth of your apartment to eat some poorly-made pancakes and instant eggs. 

The dining hall’s familiar scent infiltrates your nostrils. Frankly, you’re starving and need to consume something before the hangry version of you comes out to meet the world. 

You and Taehyung are already eating by the time Jungkook comes in through the large glass doors. The boy looks a mess; hair pointing in a million directions, hoodie barely on and revealing part of his stomach above his joggers, and a purple bruise sits to the left of his throat. 

“Wow,” you say as you chew through a pineapple slice.

“Yeah,” he says with a boyish smile, his body leaning against a chair back. “It was fucking awesome.”

“Ew,” you groan. 

Taehyung cheers for his friend, high fiving him as the younger one takes a seat. 

“Hyung, you wouldn’t believe the shit she did with her —”

“No, no, stop that,” you scold him before he ruins your breakfast. “We’re eating.”

“So? There’s nothing gross or bad about sex, Y/N,” he argues.

“You’re right, but I don’t need to hear about your sex, okay?” 

“I, for one, would like to hear about it,” Taehyung responds. You gawk at him from across the table. “What? Maybe we could learn a thing or two.”

“Tae!” 

Jungkook’s hearty laugh only furthers your annoyance. Once he leaves to get food, you point your fork at your boyfriend in a silent warning before continuing to eat. 

There’s a party tonight at another teammate’s off-campus house. Taehyung begs you with his big, adorable puppy eyes and you instantly fold. They are your only kryptonite and you agree without another thought when he asks to go. 

You travel hand-in-hand back to your apartment after brunch so you can finish some homework before the party. With a kiss and a promise to pick you up at 8, he heads home.

The biology homework for your mandatory gen-ed is staring you in the face. It’s the last of your assignments to complete before you’re free to get ready. A groan passes through your lips while you tip your head back in frustration. Science is so not your thing and this is the last class you’ll ever have to take on the subject. There is a high probability of the course tanking your GPA this semester. 

Chewing on your lip, your phone teases you with its presence. There is someone you know who's a biology major, but you’ve never asked him for help before and you aren’t sure you can handle the teasing that will follow if you do. 

You curse as your fingers find his contact before you can change your mind. You’ve never once called or texted him separately, only ever in a group chat with your boyfriend and a few others. 

He answers after a couple rings, but his voice is laced with confusion when he does. 

“Hello?”

“Hey,” you stretch the syllable as far as it can go.

“What’s up?”

“Jungkookie…” you play coy. “Could you possibly help me with something?” 

“What is it?” 

You hear shuffling on the other end, as if he’s already getting up to fulfill your request. 

“My bio homework,” you answer. “Can I just send you a picture of it or something and you can tell me the answers?”

He chuckles, low and soft.

“Sure.” 

You cheer to yourself, kicking your feet and flipping off the paper in front of you that will finally be conquered. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you shout.

“Mmhm, just send it over.”

You do so as soon as you hang up. It’s barely been fifteen minutes when the photo returns, this time with answers added next to each question. 

You throw your head back and resist the urge to literally kiss the photo on your phone screen. This assignment has haunted you for days now. Vowing to repay Jungkook in kind, you complete the worksheet to match his answers before heading to the shower to get ready. 

When Taehyung arrives at 8, you still have to finish putting on your jewelry. He smirks knowingly at your consistent lack of punctuality. His body takes purchase on your bed while you adjust the final details of your outfit. 

It’s nothing special, just a sweater and a skirt, but you can tell it does something for your boyfriend by the way he eyes you from his position. His legs are spread, feet firmly planted as he licks his lips. Ever the temptress, you situate yourself on his lap when you’re finished.

His hands instinctively meet your thighs, rubbing them as he eyes your lips.

“Careful, baby, we have somewhere to be,” he says.

“Do we, though?” 

You tilt your head without breaking eye contact. He answers with a nod, but his lips are already ascending on the junction between your neck and shoulder. You moan appreciatively, resisting the urge to move against his crotch. 

The kiss is far too short and light for your liking, and once he’s satisfied with his teasing he stands to leave. You groan and give him your best pout. Adorably pleading with him for more affection, but he merely tsks at your antics before tugging you out of the apartment. 

The party is heard before it’s seen. The bass of the music is vibrating the floorboards as you walk inside. Taehyung leads you in by your hand and you greet his teammates and their partners or guests for the night on your way to the kitchen. 

He pours you both a drink into dinky plastic cups and hands one of them over. The first sip burns, but the next couple are smoother as you acquire the taste. 

You traverse the party together as normal, mingling for a while and dancing together for a spell. After a couple hours, Taehyung joins his team in a beer pong tournament while you head to the porch for some fresh air.

You rest your elbows on the hardwood railing and let your heavy head fall forward. Truthfully, you aren’t that drunk, but stuffy heat from the house mixed with alcohol isn’t doing you any favors. 

The door behind you opens, and none other than the friendly-neighborhood fuckboy comes tumbling outside. When he notices your presence, he sighs in relief and joins you at the railing.

“Who are you running from?” 

“Jiseon,” he answers. You giggle. That would explain his antsy behavior. 

“Let me guess, she didn’t take the ‘one night only’ hint,” you say. He shakes his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. “Aw, poor you, it must be so hard to have an endless amount of women at your disposal.”

He turns towards you, leaning sideways against the railing so he can face you.

“This isn’t my preferred method of human connection, you know,” he says. “I would love nothing more than to have what you and Taehyung do. All I want is for my soulmate’s name to show up so I can finally seek the comfort of their arms instead of whatever random girl is chasing after me that day.” 

“Then why don’t you try with someone to have what Tae and I do?”

“Because I don’t want to get my heart broken,” he answers truthfully. “Not that you and Tae will, I just —”

“No, it’s okay.” You turn to face him as well. “I know it’s a possibility.” 

“It may seem backwards to you,” he adds. “And it’s not like I don’t enjoy casual sex. I do.” Your eyes roll back on reflex. “But I don’t sleep around because I’m insatiable or abundantly horny. I’m just lonely.”

You frown, never realizing the extent of Jungkook’s feelings on the matter. One of your hands reaches out to grasp his tattooed wrist.

“You’ll find her someday soon, Jungkook,” you offer with a smile. “And she’s gonna love you.”

If only you knew just how soon he would find her or that he already knew her.

You finish the night off with a brief makeout in the downstairs bathroom. It’s not the most romantic or pretty location, but you’re too intoxicated at that point to care when Taehyung’s lips are on yours. 

He walks you home and ensures you enter your apartment safely before retreating back to his own. You fall into your bed with a plop, the soft blankets surrounding you with warmth and comfort. Nuzzling into your sheets, you’re in dreamland before you can notice the black ink slowly darkening on your skin.

Upon waking up, your headache is the first to greet you. Feet finding the floor through half-closed eyelids, a groan erupts from your chest as you stretch the sleep out of your body. Your eyes are still barely open as you trudge to the bathroom to see the aftermath of last night.

Unfortunately for you, the version of you from last night forgot to take off her makeup. You gently wash away the dried mascara and lip gloss before applying some product. The entire routine is complete before you ever notice the new addition on your skin. It’s only once you brush your teeth and your wrist is in your direct eyesight that you see it. 

You yelp, your toothbrush falling from your mouth and clattering in the sink. Your first instinct is to try and wash it off, as if it’s some cruel prank someone pulled. As hard as you possibly can, you run your wrist under the water and scrub at the name staring back at you. You even add soap, as if that will somehow reverse what you already know to be true. 

“No, no, no,” you chant desperately. “Please,” you beg to whatever or whoever is in charge. 

After scrubbing until your skin is bright red and burning, you finally turn the water off. Your hand shakes almost violently from the fear and adrenaline coursing through you. Pressing your finger down over your vein, you close your eyes in an attempt to bestill your racing heartbeat. 

It’s as useless as scrubbing, and when you open your eyes and look into the mirror, a cry breaks from your body as you collapse into your bathroom carpet. You hug your knees to your chest, keeping your eyes tightly shut as tears escape them. This has to be some sick nightmare. It simply can’t be reality. 

The weight of the truth is pushing you down below the surface of your tolerance. It feels like you’re drowning, swallowing gallons of water and burning your esophagus in the process. Your body couldn’t produce enough tears if it tried. The soul-crushing emotions are too insurmountable. 

The sound of your phone ringing brings your heartbeat to a grinding halt. Your eyes find the source atop the bathroom counter. All you can do is stare helplessly at destiny calling. You already know who the caller is because soulmate tattoos always appear in pairs. 

Attempting to settle your breathing, you crawl to where you can reach your phone from the floor. The vibration of it against the marble is identical to your shaking hand as you answer it. You inhale three shaky breaths before moving it to your ear. 

“Y/N.”

His voice catapults your heart completely out of your chest. You’re unsure where it’s gone, but you know it isn’t inside you anymore. The urge to cry again is so forceful you have to bite down on your lip to restrain yourself. Even then, when you respond, your voice breaks over the words.

“What do we do?”

As you speak, your eyes fall to your wrist again. There, in small, black, cursive lettering is the last name you ever expected to find.

Jungkook

“I’m going to come over, alright?” 

You’re nodding before remembering he can’t see you. 

“Okay,” you whimper. And then, a voice you don’t believe is your own says, “Hurry, please.”

It’s damn near impossible to lift yourself from the floor. You feel concrete in your bones and lead in your blood. Tears are staining your cheeks, but you barely register it over the sound of your thoughts running wild. 

The knock on your door arrives quicker than you expect, but then again you did tell him to hurry. An unfamiliar feeling spreads through your chest at the thought of him rushing to you. Ignoring the way it reminds you of butterflies, you finally stand to answer the door. 

You think your soul must have been replaced with someone else’s. Taehyung is the only person your heart has ever somersaulted for. Your sweet, adoring, funny, and wonderful boyfriend. His smile comes to mind and it constricts your airway. 

Does the soul bond really reconstruct your emotional landscape that quickly? The answer comes as soon as you open the door. 

You’ve seen Jungkook at least 500 times over the course of a year and a half and locked eyes with him even more often than that. You did so just last night on the porch. Seeing him on the opposite side of your door should be simple. Yet, nothing prepares you for the swarm of emotions you feel when you finally see him. 

It’s as if the world has tilted on its axis, but not as if it’s suddenly spinning the wrong way. No, it’s as though this whole time it has been wrong, and only now is it right. You hold your breath without meaning to. Your very soul yearns to leap from your body just to get an inch closer to him. 

Jungkook’s eyes are blown wide, pupils dialated to the point where you can’t tell where his irises begin. His face is flushed, but you’re unsure if it’s from seeing you or the method of speed he used to reach you. His inhales and exhales are shallow, forced out only by muscle memory. You notice his hands are shaking where they rest limply by his side. They twitch towards you before he’s closing them into fists. 

“Holy shit.” 

It falls from your lips before you can stop it. The feeling is a riptide pulling you under without anything to stop it. 

Jungkook inhales deeply at the sound of your voice, as if it was the one thing he needed to hear. He steps into your apartment and closes the door behind him. You take a parallel step back to hold the distance between you. Your own body scolds you for doing so. 

It isn’t for long, because when Jungkook reaches out slowly to take your wrist in his hand, you melt. Your body succumbs to the feeling of his touch the way it feels to slip into a warm bath. Your mouth is releasing a sigh of relief before you can tell it not to. 

He observes your skin curiously, taking in the view of his name written there. His thumb delicately traces the curves. His eyes are misty and filled with something unreadable.

“Jungkook,” your voice comes out so small. His eyes find yours and you come to realize how much his heart is breaking, too. “We should talk.”

Hand dropping yours, he nods and follows you to your couch. Although you were the one who suggested a conversation, words die in your throat. The silence stretches between you like molasses.

“I…” you try to find the right words only to realize there are none. “I love him, Jungkook. I can’t — god — I can’t hurt him like this. I don’t want to lose him.”

“I know,” your companion nods solemnly. “I can’t either.” He runs his hands through his hair. “I’ve known him since I was four. He’s the only reason I even started playing soccer.” A deep breath. “He’s my best friend.”

Your head finds your hands as you fold yourself in half, letting your elbows meet your knees. The pain in your chest reverberates through your entire system. You didn’t even know heartbreak could carry a physical ache. 

“What the fuck are we gonna do?” 

You’re crying into your hands. You can’t catch your breath for the life of you. The sobbing is painful in your throat. A firm hand finds your spine, gently moving up and down in the only way it knows how to console you. The touch leaves a warmth in its wake that you’ve never experienced before.

“We can’t tell him,” you whisper into your hands. Looking up, you find Jungkook’s eyes again. “We just have to pretend like this never happened.”

“Y/N, you know we can’t do that,” he replies. “Bad things happen to people who ignore their soul bond.”

“I don’t care. The universe is fucking sick and twisted and I’m not going to give it what it wants,” you say. Then, after inhaling and allowing your thoughts to rationalize, you continue. “We just continue on like nothing is wrong, but we spend more time together. Find excuses to hang out as the three of us. Maybe that will be enough to keep the bond from retaliating against us.” 

Jungkook looks skeptical, he tilts his head and tongues his cheek in thought. 

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” you respond. Then, despite your best efforts to stop your mouth from opening, “you're not going to keep sleeping with other girls, are you?” 

He shakes his head without missing a beat.

“No, I could never do that,” he answers. You despise the feeling of relief that washes over you. 

“I’ll have to think of something to tell Tae. Say I have a UTI or something,” you muse. 

“No, Y/N, you don’t have to do that. It’s different,” Jungkook argues.

“I couldn’t,” you reply. “The thought of… of him making love to me when I have someone else’s name, your name, on my wrist makes me sick to my stomach.”

Taehyung’s ears must be burning because your phone rings and his face lights up the screen. Shattering your heart in its entirety when you see the goofy smile in his contact photo. Glancing towards Jungkook, you get up to take the call elsewhere.

He tells you he wants to study together after lunch. The thought of seeing him right now nearly sends bile up your throat. It will be too suspicious for you to say no. It’s the weekend and you never shy away from spending time together. You follow through with what you discussed and ask if you can invite Jungkook. You lie through your teeth and say it’s because you need help with biology. He thinks nothing of it as he replies with a sweet "of course." 

Therein begins your corrosive web of lies. Time moves normally, even though you feel anything but. Everyday a new lie tumbles from your lips like smoke. You feel yourself choking on it as it suffocates you from the inside. You vastly underestimated how hard your body would fight you for rejecting your soul bond with Jungkook. 

At first, it was tingling when you kissed Taehyung or an ache when you held his hand. But slowly, it got worse. After a few weeks, you couldn’t kiss him without a burning sensation on your lips. By the end of a month, holding his hand sent a stinging cramp down your arm. You explained you couldn’t have sex due to a UTI. Later, you claimed you couldn’t kiss because you caught mono. 

After six weeks, the aches and pains don’t just happen when you’re with Taehyung. They start happening simply because you’re away from Jungkook. 

You miss one of your morning classes because the cramping in your abdomen is so bad you can’t leave your bed. Dinners go uneaten because you can’t help but throw up the contents of your stomach. One night, while watching one of their soccer games, you leave because the most painful ache you can imagine is surging through your chest. You spend the evening alone, clutching your heart as you cry to whoever may be listening that this isn’t fair.

Jungkook isn’t doing much better, he tells you. His grades have begun to drop and he’s missing practices left and right. One day you see him limping across the courtyard. He tells you he pulled a muscle at the gym doing something he’s done a million times. That he can feel himself getting weaker everyday. 

The pair of you try your hardest to stall the effects by spending as much time together as you can. You don’t think you’ve spent alone time with Taehyung in weeks now. You sit next to each other at meals with your friends. He comes over to study whenever he’s free. If he’s going to a party, so are you. 

It’s not enough, because the physical closeness doesn’t make up for the emotional distance. You know it’s only a matter of time before nature forces you to confront what you’ve been avoiding. 

You’re sitting on Taehyung’s lap in the basement of a teammate’s house. The three Motrin you took beforehand aren’t helping the cramping in your legs nor the burning that follows Taehyung’s touch along your thigh. Jungkook is next to him, an uncomfortable scowl written into his features. It’s almost permanent these days. 

During a lull in the conversation, Taehyung leans forward to brush his lips on your neck. You yelp and stand abruptly from the sharp pain his kiss causes. Taehyung looks at you in concern, grabbing your hands to make you face him.

“Baby?” His eyes are so soft and loving when he peers up at you. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” you lie as you massage your neck. “I just need to hit the restroom real quick.”

Jungkook’s eyes are swimming with distress as they follow you out of the room. 

Forcing open the sticky bathroom door, you shut it behind you and brace yourself on the sink. When you look in the mirror, you don’t recognize the woman looking back. She’s skinnier than you, face pale, eyes hollow and devoid of light. You breathe deeply and are about to return when the door opens.

Jungkook moves as quickly and quietly as possible, peering out for any onlookers before shutting and locking the door behind him. Your body relaxes, your breath leveling, your nerves taking a rest from their constant anxiety. 

“Are you alright?” 

His hand is halfway in the air when he speaks, as though to reach out, but he changes his mind and lets it fall to his side. 

You respect his hesitation, but you can’t do this a second longer. Grabbing his hand back, you place it on your cheek, covering his fingers with your own to hold it steady. His eyes widen momentarily before relaxing and gazing around your face.

“I am now,” you whisper. It’s true. His touch feels like aloe in the summer. The warmth of him is so comforting you could fall asleep standing up. 

He licks his lips and you can see the gears turning inside as he analyzes your expression. You blink slowly, cat-like, and realize you don’t need words to communicate because he does precisely what you want him to. 

His forehead presses to yours and your lungs sing as they finally work unimpeached. Tension releases from Jungkook’s body as his shoulders slump forward. You know how terribly you both need this, and yet your betrayal to Taehyung feels venomous. A moment of serenity passes over you in the silence of the room. It’s a welcome reprieve from the chaos your lives have become. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you admit. “Everyday just gets harder. My heart feels like it’s going to rip out of my chest every second I spend apart from you.”

His head twists against you, his eyes opening to catch your gaze. There’s an intensity in his stare you’ve never seen before. You’re on a precipice together, and Jungkook is like a dam just waiting to hear you say the word so he can break. 

“Tell me what you want, Y/N,” he says. 

“It’s not about what I want,” your tone is harsher than you hoped. “It’s about what I need.”

His other hand curls into your shirt near your waist, tugging you closer until your bodies are touching. Your free hand finds its way to his chest, fingertips passing over unfamiliar territory.

Jungkook sighs deep in his chest.

“I could stay like this forever,” he tells you. “Feel like I’ve been drowning and I can finally breathe again.”

Your eyes snap shut as you will yourself not to cry. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be and there is nothing you want more than for everything to go back to the way it was. But your harsh reality is staring you down and sinking its teeth into your jugular. The universe is sucking you dry and soon there will be nothing left. 

“We'll tell him tomorrow,” you announce. The finality of it constricts your airway. Jungkook is pulling you into him before the first sob even exits your body. He wraps his arms around you as a hand finds home in your hair.

Your tears soak Jungkook’s shirt where it rests against his shoulder. Every single drowning emotion comes out in slamming waves, pushing you up against a rocky shoreline. It shuts down your nervous system and disrupts your mental state. 

When the sobbing subsides, Jungkook gently lifts your head and his free hand swipes away at the tear stains still present on your cheekbones.

“It’s going to be alright,” he states. “And don’t ask me how I know,” he smiles just a hair. “I don’t. I’m just hopeful.” 

You laugh for what feels like the first time in forever. It’s short and quiet, but it’s enough for Jungkook’s smile to grow.

He lets you exit the cramped space first, waiting a few minutes before exiting and finding a spot elsewhere so he has an alibi. You return to Taehyung feeling a mixture of dread and relief. Tomorrow could very well be the worst day of your life, but at least this nightmare will be over. 

When you kiss Taehyung goodbye that night, you do it through physical ache, but knowing that it will probably be your last hurts worse than anything else. 

You cry yourself to sleep because it’s the only way you know how to cause enough fatigue to fall into slumber. 

The following morning you text Jungkook and Taehyung asking them both to come over. At this point it’s routine for the three of you to hang out so it goes unquestioned. When they arrive, you make yourself busy in the kitchen so you don’t have to touch your boyfriend unnecessarily. You also need the extra time to mentally prepare yourself. 

Placing two hot bowls of ramen in front of them, you take a seat on the couch as far from Taehyung as possible. Jungkook sits in a chair just across from you. 

“Pumpkin, you didn’t have to do this,” Taehyung says as he slurps his first bite of noodles into his mouth. 

Jungkook is staring into the familiar food with a faraway look. You gesture for him to eat, but his response is a shake of his head.

“So, why’d you want us here on this lovely Saturday?” 

Your gut twists at the notion of today being lovely. Taehyung is clueless that you’re about to shatter his heart in your hand. Yours has been slowly deteriorating all this time. 

“I actually have to tell you something, Tae,” you start. His eyes glance at you briefly, nodding for you to continue while he eats. “You should probably put that down.” 

Taehyung stops mid-bite, slowly setting the bowl back on the coffee table without breaking eye contact with you. 

“What’s going on?” He questions as his eyes flit to his friend sitting silently across from him. Jungkook doesn’t dare look up as his eyes find something on the floor to distract himself. 

“I got my soulmate tattoo,” you admit to him. The raw truth both burns and soothes your throat simultaneously as it breaches the air. Taehyung’s pupils are shaking when he looks at you and you can tell he doesn’t believe you yet. “It was almost two months ago now.”

“And you… you didn’t think you should tell me about that?” 

His voice pitches up, but he doesn’t sound angry, just confused. 

“I didn’t know how,” you reply. “And —”

“Wait,” Taehyung’s voice cuts through the air like a knife. “What is Jungkook doing here? Why would you want us both here, Y/N?”

Your mouth snaps shut in an instant as your eyes begin to water. There’s no mental strength left within you to even say it out loud. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper. 

“No.” Taehyung stands. “No, no, there is no fucking way.” He holds his hand out towards you. “Give me your hand.” Your limb is shaking as it stretches towards him. Despite his tone, he’s gentle when he grabs your wrist to inspect it. You can feel the unbridled anger pulsing through his fingertips. When he spots the familiar name etched into your skin, he gasps painfully. It’s a sound so unlike him it makes you flinch. “No,” he repeats. His voice breaks over the syllable in the most soul-crushing way. He blinks tears from his eyes as he just stares at your skin. 

“Taehyung,” you grab his attention. Your tears mirror his own now. “I love you. This doesn’t change that.”

He lets your wrist fall limply against the couch before crashing down himself. His expression is so utterly broken you aren’t sure if he can even hear you. 

“It changes everything,” he replies. “Love doesn’t matter in the face of fate.” He laughs, but there is no warmth in it. “How does this always fucking happen?” You want to ask what he means, but his eyes are already on Jungkook. His expression hardens into pure ice. “You always get everything you want, huh, Jungkookie?”

“Don’t do that,” Jungkook says coldly. “Don’t act like I fucking asked for this.”

“But that’s just the thing, you didn’t have to! The universe just spits out good luck at you like you won the lottery,” Taehyung explains. “Ever since we were kids you were always on top. Better grades, better skills, better looks, and now,” he laughs again, but this time with venom dripping from his voice. “It gives you the one thing that matters most to me.” 

“Hyung, we tried —”

“Nah, you don’t get to call me that, kid,” Taehyung sneers. Jungkook’s face drops in terror, so unbelievably shocked at his best friend’s words. “You took my fucking girl from me. I will never forgive you for that, whether it was your choice or not.”

“Tae, it isn’t his fault,” you interject.

“And you,” Taehyung snaps. He stands to face you directly. “You little fucking liar! A UTI? Mono? Were you fucking him this whole time behind my back?”

“Jesus — fuck, no!” You match his stance as you stand before him. “I would never do that to you!”

“No, you’d just lie to my face instead,” he retorts. 

“Yes, Tae, because I wanted to be with you. I did everything in my power to try and stop whatever destiny had in store for me,” you say. “You have no idea what I went through just to stay next to you for even a second longer. What we went through. For you!” 

“Yeah, right.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was missing class. I was taking double the daily allowance of painkillers,” you say calmly. “Touching you would send shockwaves down my arm. Kissing you burned. There were nights where I couldn’t breathe because the pain was so bad.” You inhale through your nose. “And I did it anyway. I did it because the thought of losing you was astronomically worse than any pain I was in.” Then, you point to Jungkook, who still sits defeated in the chair. “His muscles were literally atrophying. Could barely lift half the weight he used to be able to. His GPA dropped a whole point because he couldn’t focus enough in class. He would wake up drenched in sweat and so tired it was like he hadn’t slept at all.” You take a final deep breath. “You mean the world to me, to both of us. So don’t you dare claim we’re at fault for this. We’re hurting, too.”

Taehyung is staring at the ground as he mulls over your words. He sniffles and meets your eyes. 

“So that’s it, then… we just break up?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” you answer truthfully. “I think the soul bond will kill me if I keep denying it any longer.” 

Taehyung throws his head back with a groan.

“So I’m just supposed to watch you two date right in front of me? See you hold hands across the courtyard like it’s nothing?” The question makes you pause. Never once did you even think about what happens after. Jungkook answers on your behalf. 

“No, Taehyung,” he starts. “We wouldn’t do that to you. We’re not gonna date… right away. And when we do we’ll keep it far from where you can see it.”

There’s a sense of finality in the room after Jungkook’s answer. Taehyung’s eyes move around the room, but his expression tells you nothing. His eyes land on you before grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. 

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he says as he leaves. He doesn’t spare Jungkook a single glance before the door closes behind him. 

Before you can think of doing anything else, you crouch down in front of Jungkook, using your hand to gently bring his head up. Your fingers travel across his cheek, wiping the stray tear that’s fallen. 

“He couldn’t even look at me,” Jungkook murmurs. 

“He needs time,” you tell him as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb. 

His fingers gently curl around your wrist, removing it from his face. You watch as his eyes bore into the ink on your skin. You hate how pretty they look when he’s sad. Slowly, he brings your arm closer and you’re in awe when he presses the softest of kisses to his own name on your wrist. The action makes your breath falter and your heart beat out of time. His lips leave your skin after lingering there and he bows his head so his forehead takes their place. 

Your fingers are in the perfect position to comb through his hair, so you do. A hum of satisfaction comes from your soulmate. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says. 

“What for?”

“Existing,” he laughs, but it’s hollow. “I keep wondering if it would be easier for everyone if I didn’t.” Your blood runs cold. “You wouldn’t have a soulmate anymore and then you and Tae would be free to be together.”

“Jungkook,” you say sternly, making him face you. “Don’t you ever say something like that again.” You grab his face for good measure. “You’re mine. The one and only soulmate I’m ever going to have. The world, my world, is a better place with you in it and I don’t ever want to be someplace you don’t exist. Okay?” 

He doesn’t reply, just nods. You push his hair out his eyes and he closes them. Letting his head rest in the cradle of your hands so he doesn’t have to hold it up himself. He looks peaceful like this and you let him savor the moment as long as possible. You’re nursing a heartbreak, but his best friend just walked out his life without a goodbye. 

You already know how complicated and difficult moving forward is going to be. While grieving the only long-term relationship you’ve ever known, you’ll be crafting an entirely new one. Your heart has to recover from the ache while reconstructing into something new. It’s going to take time, but you’re unshackled now. The universe wants this for you, and so it shall have it. 

The following weeks are composed of awkward silences and tentative touches, but you both take the necessary steps to get to know each other more. Jungkook begins to visit whenever he has free time to study or have dinner. You watch his games from the university sports channel for Taehyung’s sake, but Jungkook always comes over afterwards to celebrate. He helps with your biology homework and you rant to him about whatever classic novel you’re analyzing in your classes. 

You’re fairly touchy with each other because your very soul yearns for him, but it’s yet to break past the platonic wall between you. Jungkook does often find himself leaning down to kiss your forehead, but you welcome it warmly. You rest your head on his chest when you watch whatever anime he wants to show you and he plays with your hair while you force your favorite films on him. Your relationship is in its adolescence and you’re both cautious about messing it up. 

Jungkook wants more before you do. You can tell even if he thinks you can’t. It’s the way his eyes look when he sees you, even if your hair is a mess and your clothes are stained. The way his fingers twitch just enough when you’re cuddling to show he’s holding back. A piece of you wants to give in and grant his wish, but you’re unsure if your heart is ready to be given away again.

Spring enters with rainstorms and budding flowers. You’re basking under the sun’s rays while finishing your weekly readings. Your book is poised between two fingers while your back lays on the blanket-covered grass. The pages go one by one while the sounds of people moving through the courtyard fill your ears. 

The familiar lisp that accompanies Jungkook’s voice is the only reason you pick him out amongst the rest. Turning your head to locate the source, you spot him not too far away. You twist and sit up onto your elbows. 

Jungkook is standing at the corner of the courtyard, just outside the science building you know he has classes in. An unfamiliar girl is standing beside him. Perhaps too close. You can’t hear much of their conversation, only lone words as they float through the air. 

That’s when you feel jealousy pooling in your lower stomach like acid for the first time. Surely, you have nothing to worry about. He’s tied to you by an unknown force that neither of you can control. Still, a sour feeling creeps through you when you watch her hand reach out to touch his arm. 

He nonchalantly moves his arm out of her reach, and you can’t help the smile that appears on your lips. She seems persistent, though, and you wonder if you should intervene. When her fingers flit to his chest and dance across his shirt, you decide you definitely need to. 

Jungkook is handling the situation with grace before you can even rise from your position on the blanket. His hand removes hers from his body and he tilts his head with a pointed look. When you see his expression, the reaction from your body is completely involuntary. A sensual heat pools where the jealousy once resided. 

The girl is turning away from him with a scoff, her feet slamming the ground like a child with a tantrum. You cover your mouth to stop the laugh from escaping. Jungkook spots you then and he smiles, enough so that it crinkles the corners of his eyes. You wave at him before sending him a thumbs up, using your head to gesture in the direction the girl went. His eyes widen when he realizes you saw the interaction, but as he takes in your response, his lips form a smirk. He winks before turning in the opposite direction, off to whatever class he has next. 

You’re unsure what it is about the entire scene, but something in you stirs. For the first time since finding out Jungkook is your soulmate you realize you want more, too.

Jungkook has a game tonight and you mutually agree that it’s been long enough for you to watch in person. Close to three months have passed since you and Taehyung broke up. Heartbreak has no timeline, but you figure hiding yourself amongst the crowd will ensure you don’t make him too uncomfortable. 

The padding of the bleacher seat beneath you is comfortable, even if your bare thighs are sticking to it in the warm weather. The company you keep is much different than before. In fact, it’s the first time you aren’t accompanied by a stranger. Instead there are friends, parents, and siblings of the team all around you. 

You gnaw anxiously at your bottom lip while you wait for the players to enter the field. When they do, Taehyung is one of the first to exit the locker room. He looks good, as he always does, and he’s smiling at something a teammate said. The sight spreads a melancholy warmth through you. Happiness is the only thing you want for him. 

When Jungkook emerges, he’s tousling the front of his hair with his hand to keep it out of his eyes. His tattooed bicep is staring you in the face like you owe it something. You sigh, crossing one leg over the other as if that will help anything. 

Your soulmate moves effortlessly across the field, leading to him scoring more than one goal against the rival team. Taehyung does well too, blocking players and passing the ball with expertise. You don’t miss the obvious tension between him and Jungkook. Even from the stands their aversion for each other is palpable. 

Taehyung passes to someone else when Jungkook is wide open. Then he chooses to block a player who doesn’t stand a chance, leaving a different guy wide open to steal the ball from Jungkook. Their teammates are noticing it, too. You’re sure they have for the last three months. 

In the second half Taehyung avoids assisting Jungkook and they lose a goal to the other team. Worry seeps into your bones. One thing you’ve always known about Jungkook is that he’s competitive. If he loses tonight, it will hurt more than usual. 

You can hear the exacerbated sigh from Jungkook way across the field. His head tilts to the sky as he groans, running both hands through his hair. For whatever reason, this pisses you off more than it probably should. Taehyung can be angry with you and Jungkook, but to willingly allow the team to lose is petty. 

Two can play at petty, though. 

Standing up from your seat, you cup your hands around your mouth to amplify the sound.

“You got this, baby! Kick their asses, Jungkookie,” you shout. Everyone around you cheers in response, but the sound falls on deaf ears. The world goes into tunnel vision when Jungkook’s eyes find yours in the crowd. You wave excitedly at him and he smiles for the first time tonight.

"Baby?" He mouths at you as he walks backwards to get into position. You nod dramatically enough for him to see from afar before taking your seat again. 

When your eyes land on Taehyung, he’s wearing an expression that seems to be an equal mix of betrayal, hurt, and rage. You don’t ever want to hurt Taehyung. A piece of you will always hold love for him. But if he couldn’t be a big boy, you weren’t going to be either. 

They win the game by a landslide despite your ex’s best efforts. Although you already loudly made yourself known, you decide it’s too cruel to rub anything else in his face tonight. Instead of meeting Jungkook down below, you send a text that you’ll meet him back at your place. 

There’s a knock on your door at the perfect time, since the post-game meal you always make just finished cooking. The tradition didn’t start for any particular reason and Jungkook never asked you to have warm food waiting for him. It started because one time his stomach was growling so loud you could hear it over the TV. Ever since then you cook him his favorites so he can eat after burning all his calories on the field. 

You open the door and he slumps inside, dropping his bag unceremoniously by his shoes. He closes your apartment door lazily behind him. 

“Sheesh,” he pants. “That was fucking awful.”

Your hands push back some of the sweaty locks from his forehead, trailing down and tracing his jaw once his hair is out of his eyes. He hums appreciatively, leaning his face against your hand. 

“You did amazing, though,” you reply.

“Well, I had some help… baby,” he smirks proudly. Your eyes are rolling as he encompasses you in his arms. You giggle into his neck as he holds you by the waist. He smells like freshly cut grass and sweat, but it’s familiar now and you miss the scent when he isn’t around. Fresh out of the shower he smells like cedar and clean laundry. You’ve stolen a hoodie or two because you love the scent so much. “Thank you for that, by the way. I really needed it tonight.”

“Anytime,” you tell him. 

He loosens his grip but doesn’t let go. His eyes are searching yours for something you’re unsure of, but you wonder if he’s trying to gauge how you’re feeling. There’s been an obvious shift in your affection towards him lately, but he doesn’t want to cross any boundaries. 

“Where did that even come from?” 

“Tae was pissing me off. He doesn’t get to do shit like that and get away with it,” you explain. Jungkook acknowledges it with a hum.

“Thank you for defending me.” He leans forward to brush his lips against your forehead. When he pulls back, there’s a pout on your lips. “What’s that face for?”

Some childish part of you wants him to figure it out on his own, even though you know he’s too chivalrous to kiss you without you explicitly saying you’re alright with it. 

“Do it for real, Jungkook,” you grumble. 

“Do what for…” his voice trails off as his eyebrows lift. “Wait, do you want me to kiss you?” You cross your arms across your chest, trying to paint the picture that he’s already taking too long. “You’re pouting because you want me to kiss you?”

“Yes, Jungkook! You’re my soulmate can’t you read my mind or some shit,” you respond to his teasing. Jungkook is throwing his head back in laughter rather than doing his soulmate duty of giving you a smooch. You can’t believe it. His pretty soulmate is asking to be kissed and he’s laughing. “Googie…” you groan, letting your foot stomp just slightly in retaliation. Now this is getting embarrassing. 

As Jungkook slowly ceases his laughter, his hands find purchase on your cheeks. Your heart starts hammering in your chest, but much to your chagrin, he squeezes them to pucker your lips.

“You’re absolutely adorable, do you know that?” 

“Jun Jungoo.” Your attempt at his name is pathetic. He laughs even harder and you hate how endearing it is while you’re trying to be annoyed. He stops squeezing but leaves his hands there.

“Yes?” Your eyes are shooting daggers at him, tired of having to beg for his lips on yours. He smiles so, so beautifully in response. It’s hard to do anything but adore him when he looks at you like that. “Patience, baby, I’ll give you what you want.” 

The descent of his face to yours seems to stretch for eternity. You can’t tell if he’s deliberately moving slow or if the world has slowed in anticipation. When his lips finally do meet your own, it’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before and nothing you could’ve ever imagined. 

There’s a shock when you touch for the first time, causing Jungkook to recoil for a second before pressing his lips fully to yours. It feels like all the seasons at once. The brisk air of autumn, the chirping birds of spring, the running waters of summer, and the crunch of snow in winter. Your body feels weightless as though the only thing holding you to the ground is him. 

At first neither of you move an inch, your lips pressed together in the most middle school way. But once the initial wave of euphoria passes, Jungkook is moving his lips like he’s tired of wasting precious time. His hands grip your face tighter, his mouth devouring yours so passionately you can’t imagine anyone else ever kissing another human this way. You can’t even think clearly enough to do something with your hands. They lay limply at your side as you experience the utter bliss that is kissing your soulmate. 

One of you moans when your tongues meet for the first time, and you truly don’t even know who. You’re unsure where you end and he begins. Jungkook licks into your mouth and you swear you’re never letting him outside again. He’s just going to have to stand here and kiss you for all eternity. Your tongues dance together, and you finally come to your senses enough to tease him, biting his lower lip before letting it go. He groans deep in his chest and you realize you’d do just about anything to hear it over and over. 

You can see yourself passing out from lack of air soon, so you reluctantly pull away from his mouth. Only by a centimeter, enough to take a breath, but not enough that you can’t purse your lips and reach him again. 

“Holy shit,” he breathes into your mouth. “You’re… you’re everything, Y/N.”

There is no response you can muster for him in the state you’re in. All you can do is nod and slip your fingers into his hair. Pray he gets the message that yes, you’re everything and more. You’re unsure how long you stay that way, but you whine embarrassingly when he backs up to look at you better. He smiles at your reaction, his nose scrunching in admiration for you.

“Don’t laugh at my pain, Jungkook. Get back here.” 

You tug on his shirt, but he doesn’t budge. Another pout appears. He lifts your chin with his fingers, smiling and seemingly memorizing your face as he admires you. 

“Why don’t we eat first? Then we can talk,” he says.

“Talk? I don’t want to talk, I want —”

“I know,” he chuckles. “I do, too. But I think we should talk about it. I don’t think we should be rushing anything.”

Begrudgingly, you lead him into the kitchen where the food waits. The two of you eat. Well, he eats. You push the food around your plate while deep in thought. Jungkook notices your behavior while he’s chewing. A crease in his brow appears while he deciphers your change of attitude. 

“What’s wrong?” He says with a mouthful of rice. Your cheek falls into your hand, sighing as you scrape your fork around. “Baby.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t do that,” Jungkook scolds you. “Talk to me.”

“Jungkook, you went through girls quicker than I could learn their names before all this,” you start. “So why do I get the 'let’s not rush things' treatment? Do you not want me like that?”

If expressions could speak, Jungkook’s would be saying you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“That’s a joke, right?”

“No, it isn’t. I genuinely don’t understand why I, your soulmate, am being rejected.”

“You are not being rejected,” Jungkook states. He ensures you’re hearing him by locking eyes with you. Staring you down so you know he means it. “I want you. You have no fucking clue how bad I want you.” A now familiar heat flares inside you. “But you are not like those other girls. You’re more special to me than I can even put into words and I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“But why?” You probe him. “Am I special because I’m me or because I’m your soulmate? Do you want me because you’re attracted to me or because the universe told you that you are?” 

Jungkook scoffs, your audacity is so much for him that he takes the time to move his plate into the sink. You hear another scoff while he’s washing it off. 

“You…” he starts, but stops to lick his lips. His eyes bore into yours with what you can only guess is a mixture of mild annoyance and curiosity. “We’ve spent nearly every day together for the past three months. I have watched every movie, read every book, and scrolled through every tik tok you’ve showed me. We cuddle in your bed watching anime together. You watch my soccer games and cook me a meal after every one.” He scoffs again just for good measure. “And you think you’re not special to me after all that? You think I’m not attracted to you? You! One of the most beautiful fucking girls on campus who I so luckily got paired with by the universe.” He throws his hands up and turns away. “Ridiculous.” 

“So…” You play with your hands in your lap. Part of you feels a little silly, but the other part craves validation. 

“So, no, it is not just because you’re my soulmate, Y/N. It’s because it’s you,” he answers, turning back towards you. “I like you.”

“But you still want to wait?”

Jungkook finally sits down again. He reaches for your hands and you gladly offer them to him. He presses his lips to your knuckles a couple times before holding both your hands between his own. 

“It’s not that I want to wait, I just don’t want to go too fast,” he says. “We just shared our first kiss. I haven’t even taken you on a date yet.” A giddy smile overcomes your features. “Let me woo you a little first, alright?” Your answer comes in the form of you leaning over to kiss him. He hums warmly, a soft chuckle breaking against your lips. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Jungkook proceeds to hold his kisses hostage until you finish your dinner, which you promptly inhale and then purse your lips at him expectantly. If it was up to you, you’d kiss him until the sun comes up and your lips are raw. Unfortunately, Jungkook already knows you have a biology exam coming up and decides helping you study will be a better use of your time. It’s borderline cruel and unusual punishment. 

Jungkook makes you wait for your first date to happen. Not only is it exam season but he has a soccer game every Friday for three consecutive weeks. Once that glorious fourth Friday rolls around, he formally asks you out. The destination is a secret and he tells you to "wear whatever you want." This gives you pause because you can’t wear the same outfit to a restaurant that you can to go skydiving. Jungkook is certainly the type to pull a stunt like that. 

You meticulously curl your hair and delicately apply your makeup. This is the most important date of your life and you don’t want anything out of place. Jungkook deserves someone who puts in effort even when it’s unnecessary. Especially when this will be his first date ever. He’s never given his time of day to a girl for longer than a night. Even though he’s the one planning everything, you want it to be special for him, too. 

Nostalgia over this being your first date since ending things with Taehyung makes it difficult to push down the feeling of missing him. You were together nearly a year and a half and those memories don’t go away just because you’ve moved on. One day, you hope you can have him in your life again. Perhaps once he’s found his soulmate and you can put all the pain behind you. 

Three knocks tap against your door as you slip your dress on and ensure the placement is correct. It’s early in the season for sundresses but you enjoy driving Jungkook a little crazy. Trekking over the piles of clothes that didn’t make the cut, you open the door for him.

You’re met not with the handsome face of your soulmate, but a bouquet of bright red roses.

“Jungkook,” you gasp and take them from him. Hiding behind the large bouquet is Jungkook himself, smiling so wide you can’t see his eyes. “They’re so beautiful, thank you.” 

“You’re so beautiful,” he tells you. His eyes trace over your figure as he tongues the inside of his cheek. You swear you hear a quiet ‘damn’ leave his lips. He graciously accepts a kiss from you before entering your apartment. “Are you ready to go?” 

He’s wearing a dress shirt and slacks, as opposed to the usual baggy clothes he sports. The top three buttons of the shirt are undone to reveal just a sliver of his pecs. You could die happily right here and now. Your man is so fine it is physically painful to allow him outside where others can perceive him. 

Nodding in response to his question, you grab your purse and his hand before heading out. 

Contrary to where you think you’re going, Jungkook drives towards the countryside rather than the city. Your anxiety spikes when you realize he may actually take you skydiving. You watch him cautiously from your peripheral vision, but he only smirks and squeezes your thigh. 

After an eternity in anticipation, you realize where he is taking you when neon colored lights and a large ferris wheel come into view.

“No. Way.” You shift in your seat to turn towards him. “This is why we had to wait for our date. The carnival is in town!”

Jungkook’s smile appears in his eyes before it ever graces his lips. He steals a glance at you to watch your eyes light up excitedly. 

“You like it?”

“Are you kidding?” You look down. “Wait, Googie, I’m in a dress.”

“Don’t worry, I stole some of your clothes the other day for you to change into,” he explains.

“You know, if I wasn’t crazy about you that would be really creepy,” you respond. “What about you?”

“I can wear this.”

He looks down to double check. 

“Oh, thank god, if you change out of that anytime soon I’ll be so pissed.”

Jungkook parks and turns around in his seat to grab the clothes he brought for you. It isn’t exactly easy changing in his backseat, but at least he has tinted windows. A true gentleman, he even turns away from you while he waits patiently outside. 

When you step out in the jeans and blouse he chose, his eyes flicker with pride. Shoving him in annoyance that his outfit looks even better on you than the dress does, you tell yourself you would’ve picked it for tonight if he hadn’t stolen it first.

Jungkook back hugs you while you wait in line to enter the carnival. Your fingers absentmindedly trace the only tattoo on his left arm, mapping the familiar curves of your name. When he recognizes the feeling and realizes what you’re doing, he nuzzles his face in your neck and pecks your exposed shoulder. 

Comfort spreads through your chest when you stare at the black ink against his honey-toned skin. The absolute doll of a man attached to your back was hand-picked for you. Chosen by an incomprehensible force long before you would ever meet one another. You wonder how long ago your destiny was set in motion. Have you belonged together since the dawn of time? Your hands squeeze his arms in a feeble attempt to express everything you feel for him with your touch. The feelings are too extraordinary to ever describe with words. There are simply not enough of them in existence to accurately do so. 

It’s not merely the way he makes you feel as a soulmate. You’ve grown accustomed to the way your body naturally yearns for him and your heart calls to his. No, it’s the way he makes you feel simply because he’s Jungkook. Because he’s kind, gentle, and warm. Because he looks at you like you’re the only thing that matters and treats you just the same. 

You don’t love your soulmate. You love him. 

Your silent epiphany shakes the ground beneath your feet. This whole time you’ve been focusing on grieving one relationship and fostering another. Taking the time to learn everything you can about Jungkook. His likes and dislikes, favorite foods, colors, and books. There is an infinitely long list of all the things you want to accomplish as a partner to him. Love, or falling in love, didn’t even cross your mind. 

The sensation is the same as waking up and not remembering when you fell asleep. Sure, you remember closing your eyes, but not the exact moment you succumb to slumber. You have no idea when you fell in love with Jungkook, just that you are in love with him. 

Your reviere is broken by the sound of the tickets ripping as the teller hands them to Jungkook. He squeezes your hip and leads you into the bustling carnival. 

Mutually agreeing to eat first, Jungkook drags you by the hand towards the food stalls. He refuses to let you pay for a single item as he buys you both some actual dinner before giving in to your demands for a sweet treat. Ironically, he’s the one who ends up refusing to share. 

After successfully filling your stomachs you decide to conquer the rides one at a time. They’re all relatively small and easy-going, but still plenty of fun. Other than when Jungkook decides to spin the teacup so fast you think you’re going to either fly out or throw up. Probably both. 

Jungkook’s competitive streak makes an appearance once you’ve tried all the rides but the ferris wheel. He insists he’s going to win you a big stuffed animal. Says it’s a right of passage and he’s not leaving until he does.

You argue the right of passage is for a guy to try and win his girl a stuffie before utterly failing. Your argument fails to take into account Jungkook being magically perfect at everything. 

It only takes a single round of tickets for him to beat the game and win the jackpot. He looks back at you with a shit-eating grin and your eyes practically roll into the back of your head. 

“Which one do you want, princess?” He asks as you ponder the options. You gaze at his side profile and chuckle when you find your answer in the familiar curves of his features.

“The bunny,” you say with a proud smile. Jungkook looks at you knowingly before telling the staff member your choice. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute, ya know,” he says while holding your big pink bunny under his arm. The blush on his cheeks is completely betraying his words. 

Once the sun sets you agree to finish the night with the ferris wheel. At first, you’re not worried since it’s just a small carnival wheel. That quickly changes once you and Jungkook are seated across from each other in the little trolley.

Staring up at the rusted metal hinge that now holds your life in its delicate balance, you feel your throat drying up and your blood running cold. 

“Um, Jungkook,” you say through shaky vocal chords. “I kinda forgot to tell you I’m afraid of heights.”

Jungkook looks at you incredulously.

“You didn’t think to tell me that before we got on the ferris wheel?” 

“I thought it would be fine, but now that we’re going up I kinda wanna throw up,” you admit. 

Jungkook acts immediately, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his lap. The trolley shakes momentarily and you shout in terror before it levels out again. Your hands are clutching onto his shirt so tight you already see the wrinkles forming. 

“Is this better?” He asks as he runs his fingers through your hair. You nod ever so slightly as to not disturb the state of the trolley. As your heartbeat starts to return to its normal pace, you rest your head on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Are you happy?”

It’s hard to answer him accurately when the word happy doesn’t feel like nearly enough. 

“Of course I am,” you say as you lift your head. You turn his face so he can see your sincerity with his own eyes. “You know, when I first saw your name on my wrist I thought I had the worst luck in the world. That the universe was doing something so unfair and cruel.” Your fingers run along his collarbone. You're nervous to let him see inside your heart. “But I was very wrong. I’m so lucky to have you, Jungkook.”

The trolley shakes again with the force of Jungkook’s kiss. Your shout dies in his mouth as he swallows every noise you make. The kiss is definitely too nasty for the location you’re currently in. His hand is gripping your hair like reins, his mouth chasing after yours like he’ll never let you breathe again. You moan when his tongue slips into your mouth and he growls against your lips when you move your ass across his lap. He travels from your lips to your jaw slowly, one kiss at a time across the bottom of your face. You’re whimpering as soon as you feel him kissing your neck, his lips sucking at your skin before licking over the red blotches he creates.

“Jungkook… Jungkook, baby, we’re in public,” you stall his ministrations as you try to catch your breath. It’s then you notice that you’re already on the opposite side of the wheel, having completely missed when you reached the top. “Oh.”

“Pretty good distraction, huh?” 

Jungkook is wiping your lipgloss off his lips with the back of his hand. 

“You — hey!” He laughs loudly and buries his face in your neck where his lips were moments ago. You feign annoyance and push him away from you, but you’d go another round on the wheel if it meant he would keep distracting you like that. 

Jungkook helps you off the ride by offering you his arm to hold onto. Your legs are a little wobbly when your feet meet the ground again and you’re unsure if it’s from him or the ride. 

Before you leave Jungkook finds a spot with the perfect lighting to capture a selfie. You make sure to hold your bunny high enough so it gets in the photo too. Jungkook tongues his cheek when he notices it in the photo on his phone. 

Upon your return Jungkook takes you both back to his place across campus. You carefully place your plushie in the backseat along with your dress so you remember to grab them both tomorrow. Jungkook leads you up the stairwell and unlocks the door before stepping aside to let you through first. The door shuts with a click behind him. 

The air is thick with an unspoken promise. The heat and tension sparking between you is new but certainly not unwelcome. Jungkook toes off his shoes and offers you something to drink, passing you by with a skim across your back as he heads to the kitchen. 

He’s uncharacteristically nervous. You’re unsure why when once upon a time there was a different woman in his bed each night. Has his six months of celibacy made him antsy? You feel guilty that his predicament sends butterflies flying in your stomach. The playboy bunny himself being nervous for your first time sleeping together makes you feel all the more special. 

You follow him into the kitchen and wrap your arms around his waist as he stands at the sink drinking a glass of water. He gestures for you to drink some, but you shake your head against his back. You can hear his heartbeat pounding rapidly in his chest. 

“Googie.” You grab his shoulder to turn him around. “We don’t have to do this, you know.”

He smiles affectionately, caressing your face. 

“It’s not that, princess,” he says. Your brow creases in confusion, so he continues. “I just don’t know how to make you feel even half of what I do when I’m with you. What you said to me on the ferris wheel… I don’t know how to express how much that meant to me. I don't know how to show you that I feel the same.” 

“You don’t have to,” you answer like it’s obvious. “I already know.”

He shakes his head at that. 

“No, you don’t,” he responds. “There aren’t words.”

“Then don’t use words.”

Your response beckons a silence between you. There’s no sound other than your breathing and the faint hum of utilities. 

Jungkook takes a deep breath, the hand still on your face slowly tracing your outline until it reaches your waist. 

“Okay,” he whispers assuredly. 

He yanks you off the ground and your legs latch around him while your arms tangle behind his head. You kiss him first, using your mouth to coax his lips open. He moans at the same moment his hands press you impossibly closer to him. He pushes stray hairs out of your face and cradles your neck to take control of the kiss. You’re aware of him carrying you away, but you have no semblance of where he’s going because he’s kissing you too deeply to pay attention. 

It isn’t until your butt meets the softness of his mattress that you even realize you’re in his bedroom. Jungkook is quick to leave your lips so he can unbutton his shirt, but you swat his hands away before he can successfully undo the first button. 

“Nuh uh, my job,” you say as your fingers replace his own. You use the grip on his clothes to pull him so he’s standing between your legs. You kiss the skin that’s revealed as each button is undone, groaning against his skin when you reach the tight abdominal muscles you’ve been longing to get your hands on. 

Jungkook is helpless above you, panting deeply while he watches you work. Standing to push the material from his shoulders, you kiss him again. This time you take it slow, moving your lips in a tortuous rhythm while your fingers trace his biceps, nails digging into the muscles. A low growl reaches your ears and all you want to do is make him do it again. 

Jungkook finds the hem of your top, letting his hands skirt beneath it to feel your bare skin before peeling it off of you. His eyes sharpen when he gets the first real look at your chest covered by your bra. Fingers tracing ever so gently from your waist, he cups your chest and massages you. 

“Oh,” your head tilts back as you moan at the feeling of him traversing your body. He takes advantage of your movement to connect his lips to your neck. Messy, wet kisses are placed all over your throat and collarbones. 

He sits you back down on the bed without ever stopping, lying you on your back and climbing over you. You arch so he can unclasp your bra behind you. He stops kissing you for a moment so he can watch while he pulls the straps down your arms. 

“Fuck, baby,” he curses at the sight of your bare chest for the first time. “You’ve always been perfect, but damn.”  

You can only convey a giggle in response as you gesture for him to come back with your pointer finger. He obliges, kissing you again while caressing one of your breasts. His hands are rough on your sensitive skin, but the feeling is pure bliss. He pinches your nipple to harden it. Once he’s done with one he moves to the other and repeats the process until he can feel it pebble beneath his fingers. 

Jungkook is slowly grinding himself against you and you swear you’ll come completely untouched. His cock is hardening with each hump of his hips and it meets your covered pussy perfectly every time. 

“Fuck, Jungkook,” you moan. 

“I know, I know,” he whispers. “Fuck, I can’t wait to be inside you.” He grabs your hips to grind even harder against you. “You drive me crazy.” You’re aching to touch and feel every inch of his skin. Jungkook begins to grant your wish when he moves away to unbutton your jeans and tug them down your legs. When he’s done, his hands take their time feeling your ankles and calves, inching far slower than you want him to before he reaches your thighs, pulling them apart. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

He throws his head back with a pornographic groan at the sight of your wet underwear. You watch helplessly as his Adam's Apple bobs with the need to taste you. His hands continue their mapping of your thighs, alternating between squeezing and caressing them. And then he’s making himself comfortable, kneeling before his bed and tugging you down so you’re right where he wants you. 

“How long?”

“What?”

“Exactly how long have you wanted me?” There’s an answer waiting on the tip of his tongue. “Before or after?”

“After,” he says. You pout. “Hey, need I remind you that you were my best friend’s girlfriend before?”

“Yeah, but you saw me first,” you retort.

He doesn’t answer yet. His lips find purchase on the meat of your thighs, leaving a wet trail behind as takes his time kissing across your supple skin. 

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, Y/N,” he finally says, speaking directly into your skin. “But you wanted something I couldn’t offer and Taehyung could.”

Jungkook returns to his prior task except on the other thigh. The feeling of his lips all over you is indescribable, but the knowledge that he’s worshiping you inch by inch is what makes you dizzy. It feels like he’s trying to memorize you so he can recreate it later in his mind. As if this is the last time rather than the first. 

“Jungkookie, please,” you beg him. His face is centimeters away from where your pussy is leaking just for him. You think you’ll cry if he doesn’t touch you soon. 

He only hums before kissing you through your underwear. Your hips jump and his hand slaps against your stomach to keep you still. He’s slowly making out with your cunt through the lace of your underwear. It’s pure torture, but you can’t bring yourself to complain. His mouth feels so unbelievably good even through the fabric. 

“You’re so fucking wet, princess,” he moans against you. The vibration makes you twitch again, and he wraps his arm around your thigh to steady you. “Can drink your cum right through your panties.”

You whine pathetically. 

“Please, my love.”

Jungkook’s eyes soften, but you’re too far gone to realize the reason why. He kisses your hip bone with an adoring moan. But when his eyes dance over your figure again, watching your tits rise and fall in time with your shaky breath, they’re sharp and possessive once again. 

He sits back only to pull your underwear down your legs and tuck it into his back pocket. You clock the movement instantly, eyebrows raising at him. 

“I need something to remember tonight by, don’t I?” 

He doesn’t give you the chance to reply before he’s situating your thighs over his shoulders and kissing your clit. 

“Oh shit,” you curse.

There is a jolt of electricity that burns across your inner thighs and abdomen before simmering into an unrelenting heat. Whether it’s a soulmate thing or a Jungkook thing, you can’t bring yourself to care. All you know is you need more, more, more.  

His tongue is circling your clit before going back and forth, then trailing down to flatten against your slit. His lips come into play as well, kissing your pussy ravenously. He licks into your hole, moving his tongue in and out of it before returning to your clit and doing it all over again. When he laps at your pussy, it feels like he’s trying to drink you dry, tongue curling to bring your essence into his mouth. 

He never once stops making noise against you, grunting and groaning at the way you taste. Whispering how you "taste s’good" directly into your cunt. His hand disappears from your thigh and you realize he’s palming himself while he pleasures you. The thought alone is enough to make you cream right then and there. 

He returns to your clit to suck it into his mouth, letting his teeth graze it softly. You squirm beneath him but his arm is holding you taut. Without warning you feel two of his fingers circling your hole before pushing in. You cry out, back arching off the bed from the pressure. 

Jungkook allows his mouth to take a momentary reprieve, resting his head on your thigh while he slowly pulls his fingers in and out of you. He watches intensely as his fingers come out soaked in your juices before going back in with a squelch. 

“So pretty like this, baby,” is the last thing he says before his mouth is on you again. His fingers begin to pump faster, curling inside you and meeting just the right spot to send your mind spinning. His mouth is relentless against your clit, kissing and sucking on it before soothing it with his tongue. 

You’re on the precipice of an orgasm and you know Jungkook can feel it. Can feel the way your walls pulse around his fingers, begging for release. 

“There you go,” he whispers into your cunt. “Come for me, Y/N.”

And who are you to deny him? Your orgasm hits you like a fucking freight train, a needy cry coming from your throat while you back arcs off the bed. Thighs shaking and practically crushing Jungkook’s head between them. Nevertheless, he continues kissing your clit and fingering you until he hears your breathing even out and your body still. 

As soon as his touch is gone, you whimper from the emptiness. Jungkook meets you back at your lips, allowing you to taste yourself on him. Your hands grab his head to keep him there so you can properly thank him for his hard work. He deepens the kiss with his tongue, fighting against yours for dominance. When he inevitably wins, you moan around the wet muscle. 

He begins kissing your face all over starting from your cheek and then down your jaw before moving up again to your nose and continuing upward to your forehead and hairline. 

“You were so good, baby,” he tells you. “Everything I could’ve ever asked for.” 

You hear the sound of a belt coming undone and pants unzipping. Jungkook stands so he can kick off his jeans. The first thing you notice is a wet patch on his boxers. Your head ticks to the side. 

“Oh no, that’s all precum, baby,” he answers your silent question. “Nearly did come in my fucking pants, though. Thank you very much.” 

“Oh? I'm flattered.” You come up to your elbows to see him better. He shakes his head with a lazy grin on his face before moving towards his dresser. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Jungkook looks at you in confusion, as if the answer is obvious. 

“I’m grabbing a condom,” he explains.

You tilt your chin down with a piercing gaze. 

“Do you think I want to feel my soulmate through a condom? I’m on birth control,” you say. Jungkook’s mouth drops open in awe and he waits for you to reaffirm what you just said. You mimic his expression and nod slowly so he gets the picture. 

“Oh, hell yes!” Jungkook scurries back over to you in a flash. You cover your mouth with your hand to stifle your giggle. He’s so freaking cute even when he’s about to fuck you into his mattress. 

He’s climbing back over you now, pushing at your shoulder to lay you back down beneath him. He runs his hands up and down your waist before cupping your breasts. Just when you think he’s going in for a kiss, his head dips to take a nipple in his mouth. 

You moan as his tongue flicks over the nub and then circles it. His hand gives attention to your other nipple by rolling it between his fingers. Hands twisting into his dark hair, you tug until he releases and kisses you instead. You pull on his hair, letting your nails scratch his scalp. He grunts and you do it again a little harder to make him repeat the sound. 

“Jeon Jungkook,” you speak against his soft, swollen lips. “I need you inside of me.”

Not needing to be told twice, he rises to his knees and hooks his fingers into the waistband of his boxers to pull them down. Only, instead of moving them he merely snaps them back against his hips with a devilish smirk. 

You glare at him, reaching up to do it yourself before he smacks your hand away. 

“Ask me nicely,” he orders. 

You want to laugh and cry at the same time. This man is the biggest tease you’ve ever met and you feel like you’re going to lose your damn mind. 

“Jungkook…” you rise to your knees as well, crawling over to him. “Jungkookie…” you let your hands take a stroll across the expanse of his abs and chest until they’re digging into his shoulders. “Googie…” you lean in so you’re speaking directly into his ear. “Will you pretty, pretty please fuck me?”

This man loses his damn marbles. You shout as you’re thrown back onto the bed with a soft bounce. He rolls his boxers down his thighs and kicks them off as you’re trying to catch your breath. It’s no use because the second your soulmate’s cock is in your face you no longer know how to breathe. You fear you will need to be retaught before the night is over. 

Your jaw drops and you’re surprised you don’t drool all over yourself at the sight. Jeon Jungkook is pretty all over. His dick looks painfully hard, his precum dripping from the tip just waiting for you to taste it. It’s large, perfectly thick, beautifully veiny, and curves at the perfect angle to hit just the right spot. You think you may die the second you feel it inside of you. 

Jungkook is on top of you before you can admire his physique any longer. His tip rubs deliciously against your clit as he coats himself in your wetness. You groan impatiently as he teases you with his cock. 

He places one hand next to your head, the other on your hip so he can guide himself into you. You both watch in awe at the space where your bodies connect. Before Jungkook takes the plunge, he kisses you one more time. You smile into it. Unable to resist the physical manifestation of the happiness bubbling in your stomach. 

That smile is gone the second his tip pushes past your hole, replaced with an O shape as you gasp at the intrusion. Jungkook takes his time, whether for your sake or because he’s committing this moment to memory, you aren’t sure. 

You feel impossibly full as his cock stretches you open. Moaning without end, you hold onto Jungkook’s shoulders to keep yourself afloat. When he finally bottoms out with his hips pressed against yours, you see every star in the galaxy all at once. 

If you thought your first kiss was euphoric, this is another feeling entirely. Your body is pulsing and hot from the ecstasy, but your soul is floating in the Dead Sea. Above the surface tension of the water as a cool breeze blows.

You know precisely what a soulmate is now. One person split in half and destined to find one another. Because when Jungkook is inside you, connected with you in the most human way possible, you feel complete. It’s mind numbing. His cock is throbbing inside you and it feels like coming home. 

Jungkook’s forehead rests on yours as he pants. Your hands slide from his sweaty chest to caress his cheek. He must feel the same, and in fact you’re positive he does. There is no confirmation necessary when his soul is bound to yours. 

“You — fuck, baby — you feel amazing,” he tells you. 

You can only nod in agreement, too overwhelmed by the sensations to speak. Grinding your hips up against him, he registers it accurately as you telling him to finally move. 

When he does, it’s a slow pull away from you, leaving just his tip inside before pushing himself back in just as slowly, but he rolls his hips into you, forcing his cock in so deep you feel him in your stomach. 

The moan that rips from your throat is embarrassingly loud, but you are no longer on a plane of existence where you care. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t want a noise complaint. His hand covers your mouth as he shushes you. He leans over so he can speak directly into your ear.

“Be good, baby. I need you to stay quiet for me.” The sound of affirmation is muffled behind his hand but he watches you nod at his demand. Your eyes are peering up at him like they’re awaiting his next instruction. He groans at the gorgeous sight. “God, you’re so sexy.”

He’s still thrusting into you slowly. He watches as his cock comes back out covered in your cum. You moan every time he enters you despite his earlier request. 

When you disobey him, he looks at you with a dangerous twinkle in his eye. His hand moves away for only a moment before his two middle fingers push into your mouth. You gasp around them, but he presses down on your tongue with the pads of his fingers. You close your mouth around his digits and suck, moving your tongue around and in between them. 

Jungkook is mesmerized by the way his tattoos disappear between your lips. Once he’s satisfied with your makeshift gag, he thrusts hard and then snaps his hips back to do it again at an inhuman pace. If his fingers weren’t in your mouth you’d be screaming bloody murder. Tears of pleasure roll down the sides of your face as he fucks into you relentlessly.

His fingers leave your mouth and grab your chin instead so he can kiss you. His body weight is on you now as he uses his forearm to keep himself up. Feeling his chest against yours as he fucks you is enough to send you into complete madness. Your nipples are hard and sensitive as they brush against his muscular pecs. 

“Baby,” you cry. He kisses your jaw and neck without ever slowing his pace. You feel your mind descending into complete chaos. Your fingernails scratch down his back, leaving red welts in their wake. It’s the only thing you can do to hold onto some semblance of your sanity. 

“Fuck, do that again,” Jungkook groans into your neck. You oblige him and he growls next to your ear. “You’re so tight, so goddamn perfect for me.” 

“You're so big, Googie,” you whine. “Feel so good.”

“Shit, princess,” he says while biting into the flesh between your shoulder and neck. Your gasp turns into a moan as he soothes the area with his searing hot tongue. 

Then, he pulls out of you, sitting back on his heels as he tries to catch his breath. You reach for him in confusion, but he just takes your hand and kisses the back of it. Holding it against his heart so you can feel the intense beating. 

“Is everything okay?” 

Worry creases your brow, but Jungkook just smiles as one of his fingers smooths it away. 

“Yeah, I was just about to bust, but I’m not done with you yet,” he answers breathlessly. “So, I had to pause. My apologies.”

You can appreciate a man who strives to make his woman come before him, but he’s also turned you insatiable, so you need to do something.

Sitting up, you travel down the bed until your face is directly in front of his throbbing dick. His eyes follow your every movement, his eyebrows disappearing behind his bangs.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Allowing him to see the smirk on your lips for only a moment, you open your mouth and flatten your tongue against the underside of his cock. His entire body spasms and you can see his abdominal muscles constrict in front of your eyes. You make eye contact with him in case he has any objections, but when he just stares back at you with his mouth agape, you continue your ministrations. 

You lick him again all the way from base to tip before circling his head with your tongue and lapping up the precum that’s formed in a bead there. One hand squeezes his thigh while the other slowly pumps his cock. All you can see above you is his throat. He has his head tilted back as he groans endlessly. The veins in his neck are popping out and it makes you want to lick over every single one of them. 

Continuing to tease him with your tongue, you lick gently over just his tip while your hands do the rest of the work. Jungkook’s head snaps towards you when he hears you spit. He watches as the saliva falls onto his head before you use your lips to rub it in. 

“Oh, dear god,” Jungkook gasps, seemingly to himself. 

Lips finally wrapping around his dick, you suckle on his head before slowly inching down his shaft. Your hand moves to his balls to make room for your mouth. Jungkook’s thighs are shaking beneath your fingertips and he finds purchase in your hair, wrapping the strands around his fingers as if it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. 

Once you’ve made a single sweep down his cock, you pull back slowly, allowing your tongue to glide along the underside. You twist the muscle around his head before finally setting a steady pace and sucking him up and down.

You make it messy for him, because he deserves it. Breathing through your nose and keeping your tongue out to lick him as your head bobs. Drool pools in the corners of your mouth before dripping down your chin. When your nose is as close to his pelvis as you can go, you allow it to drip down his balls so you can work them with your hands. 

Jungkook looks like he may die, but that you’re the angel who’s going to bring him to heaven. His features are drawn tight, eyebrows almost kissing. His mouth refuses to close, panting out breaths like the sexiest dog you’ve ever seen.

The logical part of your brain knows that sucking him off doesn’t solve the issue at hand, but he tastes too delicious to stop. And when the hand in your hair begins pushing ever so slightly followed by his hips bucking into your mouth, you moan deliriously around him. You gag as Jungkook gently uses your mouth for his own pleasure. Letting him take over, you grip his thighs and just go along for the ride. He grunts from above as he watches his cock disappear over and over again into your mouth. 

“You look so sexy like this, princess,” he says over strained vocal chords. “Like your lips were made for taking my cock.”

Your bratty nature wants to correct him and tell him that they are in fact, made for him. You have a tattoo that says so. Instead, you relish in the vibrations of your responsive moan giving him even more pleasure. 

The sound of your spit sliding along Jungkook’s shaft and your gags as he fucks into your mouth is so pornographic you worry you’ll get a fine for filming illegal movies on campus. His melodious grunts and moans are music to your ears. You’d let him use you like this everyday if it meant listening to them.

Before you can savor the moment for much longer, Jungkook pulls you away with a growl. You gasp, your hand grabbing at your throat as you cough. 

The sweetest man you’ve ever known, even while in the throes of pleasure, leaves the bed to bring you water. You’re still trying to catch your breath when he bends down and tips the bottle against your lips so you can drink. 

“Thanks,” you croak. Sore throat be damned, you’d start sucking him again right now if he asked. He pushes your sweaty hair away from your face with both hands, cradling your face like you’re made of porcelain. 

“You’re a fucking goddess, you know that?” 

A strained laugh comes from you.

“I do, in fact,” you quip. Jungkook kisses you senseless instead of replying. Before he can lay you down again, you push him instead. His back meets the footboard of his bed as you place your legs on either side of his thick thighs. “Are you ready to continue or shall I get myself off?” 

Jungkook laughs humorlessly. 

“Sit on my cock before I make you.”

If words could make you come…

As filthy as his words are, his hands still help guide over him and massage your skin while you sink down. You moan in unison, your mouth finding the mole on his neck that you’ve been dying to kiss. Hips grinding down against him, you mark him as yours as you kiss and suck on the sensitive skin of his throat. 

His hands are spread across your back as you rise up and down on his dick. He’s moaning so beautifully next to your ear that you don’t think you’ll ever stop. You repeat the motion over and over, allowing your clit to grind along his pelvis every time you sink back down. The pace is torturously slow, but it allows you to feel every vein and ridge of his cock as it moves in and out of you. 

“I never wanna stop,” you admit. “Don’t ever wanna not have you inside me.”

“I think I can make that happen,” he says over a chuckle.

Your lips meet again and you kiss at the same pace your bodies move. Jungkook’s mouth and tongue explore yours like he hasn’t done it a hundred times already, like every sensation is still new. He bites on your lower lip, pulling it away before letting it go so he can watch it bounce back. He doesn’t waste a second before diving back in for more. 

The warmth of Jungkook’s hands leaves your back and reignites on your hips. His grip is bruising as he uses it to bounce you faster against him. Your moans grow in pitch, but you muffle them by biting and kissing along Jungkook’s shoulder. When the pace still doesn’t feel like enough, Jungkook plants his feet on the bed so he can thrust up into you. You scream into his skin, holding onto his back and hair for dear life. 

“You close?” He rasps in your ear, licking your earlobe as he does. 

“Yes, baby, please,” you cry. 

Jungkook goes into overdrive, thrusting up into you at a speed and depth that feels impossible. The tip of his cock is hitting your g-spot over and over again like a magnet. You can feel yourself falling over the edge any second. 

His pursuit to bring you pleasure is relentless. The friction of his thick cock inside your walls is creating hot tears of ecstasy that roll down in droves. Your bodies are touching in every possible place they can and it still isn’t enough. You know Jungkook feels the same when he squishes you against him like he’s trying to merge you into one. 

Jungkook kisses down the side of your face with wet smooches. Slobbering all over you and getting saliva in your hair. Sweat, spit, cum, you want him to paint you in all of it. Ruin you so endlessly you’ll never be able to look another man in the eye. It’s him, him and only him. Every fiber of your being is filled to the brim with just Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. Jungkook. You fear you’ve forgotten every other word. 

“I’m gonna —”

You stop his sentence with a searing kiss, moaning into his mouth as you come undone around him. Your cunt pulses and squeezes around Jungkook so tightly he can barely thrust anymore. Luckily, he doesn’t need to because with a few more pistons of his hips he’s groaning and nestling his cock as deep as it can go as he comes. You feel the warmth of his cum filling your pussy and dripping out around his cock to pool into his lap below. He’s still rolling his hips against you as his orgasm wanes. 

Even once the comedown ends, neither of you move. Your head is resting against Jungkook’s chest, his leaning back against the wall. He rubs your back lovingly. You focus on the feeling of his fingertips traveling up and down your spine. Before the repetitive motion can send you to dreamland, he pries your head up so he can see you. 

“I don’t know what I did in my past life to deserve any of this,” Jungkook muses. You mull it over for a moment.

“Whatever you did, I’m sure you were amazing at it,” you reply warmly. Jungkook nuzzles his nose against yours.

Jungkook is careful when he finally pulls out, not wanting to hurt you after abusing your pussy in the name of pleasure. You whine at the emptiness, but he kisses your pouty lips before leaving to find something to clean you with. 

Sleep overtakes your mind before he returns. You’re in a daze as you watch him clean between your legs with a warm towel. He cleans himself off as well before joining you in the bed. By the time he’s pulling you into his arms your eyes have closed. He wishes you goodnight with a press of his lips to your forehead. You don’t hear the other words he whispers to you. 

Jungkook finds it impossible to keep his hands off you after that night. Frankly, you go at it like rabbits on crack. It begins to impede on your day-to-day life and neither of you give a damn. You nearly delete an entire assignment by accident because he’s eating you out under your desk. He risks a suspension from the soccer team by shoving his dick in your mouth in the locker room. You swallow his cum just as people begin to pile in for practice. 

Despite your best efforts, you do eventually stop fucking across every corner of campus. School ramps up and Jungkook is promoted to head striker so he’s away at practice more often. Before his first game in the lead position, he gives you his spare jersey to wear. 

Your mouth hangs open and you just stare at him because you can’t believe he’s serious. When he nods with the softest smile and stars in his eyes, you squeal like a schoolgirl. He sneaks his hands below your shirt and caresses your waist before pulling it over your head. Once you’ve pulled the jersey on and tucked it into your jeans, you look at him in affirmation. 

“What do you think, lucky number 7?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer. At least not verbally. He just pulls you close by the fabric of the jersey and kisses you. The kiss is soft, but undeniably passionate. His lips move against you sensually even though there’s no heat behind it. He kisses the corner of your mouth, your nose, your eyelids, all before returning again. You let him create a map of your visage with his lips. 

When he wins that night, the jersey is the only thing left on your body as he makes love to you on the couch. 

You begin forming a routine as a couple, but it’s never complacent. There’s still romance in everything you do, even if you’re doing it for the hundredth time. As time moves forward, so do you and the past heartaches don’t weigh on your chest as heavy anymore. Your mind still wanders into painful territory every once in a while, but you’re confident in your ability to lay the past to rest. 

It helps your endeavor when the aforementioned past comes to greet you one day.

A tap on your shoulder stirs your from your inner thoughts as you walk the familiar path to the library. Turning towards the source, your feet skid to a stop when you see Taehyung rocking back and forth on his heels. 

“Hey,” he says as he kicks at a pebble near his foot.

“Hi,” your tone reveals your confusion. 

“Can we talk?” Chewing on your bottom lip, you don’t need much time to decide before you’re nodding. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. Looking back, after some time and much needed self reflection, I realize that you got your heartbroken just as bad as mine.” 

“You do?”

“Yes,” he affirms. “At the time, it seemed like I was the odd man out. Sure, you and Jungkook would be losing me, but you had each other. And I was left with no one.”

“It didn’t have to be that way, Tae. You chose to walk away from us,” you reply. “From Jungkook, specifically.”

“I know. I see now how big of a mistake that was,” he continues. “I’m going to try and catch him later after practice to apologize to him, too.”

“Good,” you say. “He deserves it even more than I do.”

Taehyung agrees with a nod. 

“Are you happy? With… with Jungkook.” 

You hate the way his mouth is still turned down and his eyes don’t shine anymore. It’s obvious how sad he still is, and yet he’s here apologizing to you. You appreciate his conviction.

“I am,” you answer. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. I know it will never be the same, but I’d like to have you in my life if possible.” 

“I’d like that, too,” he responds. 

You say goodbye shortly after that and there’s a sense of closure that fills you up from the inside after your conversation. For whatever reason, finally turning the page on Taehyung’s chapter in your life makes you want to keep pushing forward even more. Including finally letting a special someone in on the secret you’ve been holding close to your heart. 

Jungkook mentions he’s coming over after practice which means you have a couple hours to decide how you want to spill the beans. You could always just say it, but that feels far too anticlimactic. 

Sitting in your kitchen, your fingers play an unknown melody against the table as you ponder your options. It’s only when your eyes land on a certain ingredient in your cabinet that you realize exactly how you want to accomplish this. 

Your soulmate has his own key now, mostly because you were sick of leaving your bed to let him in. But also because one time you lost your key and he had to jimmy the window lock to get inside. You live on the third floor. 

The familiar taps of your fingers meeting the keyboard are the only sound until Jungkook’s voice rings out. He proudly declares that he’s home in a sing-song tone. 

“Dinner is in the kitchen,” you inform him. “I’ll meet you there in a second.”

Your nail slips between your teeth as you anxiously await for Jungkook to see your somewhat hidden message. Eyes looking towards the ceiling, you pray to the soulmate gods that he doesn’t dig into his meal before he can read it. 

You sense your prayers are answered when you hear a chair scrape across the floor and the sound of his footsteps coming towards you. Swiveling in your chair, you patiently await his arrival. 

When he enters the room, his eyes are sparkling and misty. In the good kind of way that makes you mirror his expression. His cheeks are pink with blush and he looks winded from his excitement alone. 

“You mean it?” His tone is pitched up. Giddy like a child on the playground. Trying to stop the smile from breaking out across your face is pointless. You allow that to be your answer.

Jungkook only needs two strides before he reaches you, and you stand in anticipation of what you know will come. A mixture between a shout and a laugh comes from your lungs when he lifts you into the air by your knees. You brace your hands on his shoulders as fits of laughter course through you.

“What are you doing? Put me down,” you order him. 

“Absolutely not,” he says with a shake of his head. “I want to hear you say it. Say it like you mean it, woman.”

“Wo—woman?” You chuckle. “Is that how you talk to someone who’s in love with you?” 

Any joking response dies in Jungkook’s throat when he hears the L word fall from your lips. He sighs deeply, so utterly content. He bends down until your feet are safely on the floor again. His hands cradle your face instead. 

“Say it again, please,” he begs. 

“I love you, Jungkook,” you state. 

His eyes close like you’re the sandman herself. So at peace he could fall into dreamland right where he stands. You can physically feel the tension leaving his body from where you’re holding him by his waist. 

“One more time,” he whispers, but his smirk gives him away. Your hand smacks his chest. He laughs. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” His eyes open again to stare into yours. You think you could spend forever just looking into the deep chocolate irises in front of you. Thumbs gently swiping across your cheekbones, Jungkook does a once-over of your pretty face. “I love you.”

It doesn’t matter if you knew he was going to say it, it still brings tears to your eyes and a smile that hurts your cheeks. 

“Really?” 

He nods.

“I am deeply, devastatingly, in love with you, Y/N,” he continues. His expression shifts. “But if you ever give me good news by spelling it out with alphabet soup again, I’m leaving you.” 

You have to resist the laughter aching in your chest, but when Jungkook is feigning anger with the cutest scowl, you just can’t help it. You laugh loudly before stifling it with your hand. It’s the single most ridiculous thing you’ve ever done and yet you don’t regret it one bit. 

Jungkook proceeds to show you the selfie he took with the now infamous bowl of soup. You can barely see his eyes in the photo because he’s smiling so wide. He’s holding up a peace sign next to the bowl of tomato soup with alphabet-shaped noodles that spell out I love you in the center of the broth. 

His name is the last you expected to appear on your skin, but it’s now impossible to imagine it being anyone else. As you trace the familiar lines of his name you whisper your thanks to whatever or whoever is in charge. 

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

text message. l Joel Miller

a/n : a while ago i got a message from anon asking me to write something for joel. i managed to do it today. sorry you had to wait so long. i hope you like it.

warnings : pre-outbreak Joel, some angst, misunderstanding, age difference (about 10 years), suspected pregnancy, argument, Sarah and Tommy mentioned, lots of uncertainty and fear

[Joel Miller masterlist] [my masterlist]

He shouldn't have done that. It was crossing all boundaries, violating your privacy and trust, but he couldn't help himself. When your phone made a series of strange noises that indicated a message had been received and you were in the bathroom at a gas station, Joel reached for it and looked at the screen. A cold chill ran down his spine a second later.

"Two weeks late? Did you take a test? You should see a doctor. What did Joel say?"

A heavy stone landed squarely in his stomach, and he felt his head spin. “Fuck!” he groaned almost silently, shaking his hand as he placed the phone back where you’d left it.

He immediately guessed what you and your friend could have been talking about, he had no doubts. If you were pregnant, that complicated everything.

Joel Miller wasn't entirely sure if he should do it, but when he met you on one of his bar crawls with his younger brother Tommy, he felt like fate had finally favored him. He was almost thirty-six, had a teenage daughter, worked hard, and couldn't remember the last time he'd met a woman. You, on the other hand, were simply beautiful, talkative, with a charming smile on your lips. You were also almost ten years younger than him.

It didn't bother him as much on your first date, or your second, or when you kissed on the couch, or after the first time you had sex. Joel felt younger and happier with you, and everyone around him noticed the change in him.

He fell in love like a stupid teenager, and you didn't make it any easier for him. It was only after a few months that he started to wonder. Maybe dating you wasn't so wise? Maybe you were really too young for him?

When you would visit him at work, bringing him lunch or something, guys would often make fun of him. Joel wasn't as immune to this as he thought. His insecurities grew, and worries about whether he was doing the right thing also grew in his mind too.

And now this. Pregnancy. When Sarah was born, he was too young, and now he felt too old to be playing in diapers. What if you, too, disappeared, like Sarah's mother? Would he be able to cope? What if no woman saw the possibility of a permanent relationship with him, and when the baby came, she simply ran away?

"Hey. Is everything okay?"

He didn't even notice that you had returned and were already sitting next to him. He nodded uncertainly and cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Tommy called, something at the construction site." he lied, quickly starting the engine.

"Do you want to go there?"

"What? No, I don't have to." Joel replied, "Sarah has a game today."

He didn't say anything else the entire ride home, and then to the game you went to with them. He seemed strangely distant, but you were certain he was constantly thinking about work. Even when you suggested ice cream afterward, Joel showed almost no interest.

You dropped Sarah off at a friend's for a sleepover and you were sure that you and Joel would go to his place, but when he suddenly said, "I'll drop you home." You already knew something was wrong.

“Did I do something wrong?” you asked as he pulled the truck up in front of your apartment. Once again, you spent the entire ride in silence, which wasn’t normal.

He shook his head. "No, everything's fine."

“Joel? Look at me, please.” He did it reluctantly, but eventually your eyes met. “You’ve been out of sorts all day. What’s wrong?”

"I've had a lot on my mind lately and..."

"Please, don't lie to me." You interrupted him. You weren't mad, he saw concern on your face. "Did something happen?"

“I…” he began, but the words were hard to get out of his throat. He felt your warm hand on his forearm and it broke him. “Are you pregnant?”

"W-What?" you blurted out, completely surprised.

"I saw, quite by accident, a message from your friend. You're two weeks late. Something about a test and a doctor. I need to know."

You looked at him with slightly parted lips, a small wrinkle appeared between your eyebrows. You couldn't gather your thoughts in your head, but Joel clearly couldn't stop himself from talking.

“I think about it all the time. You’re still young, you have plans,” he said, and you felt every word hit you harder. “I know we should be more careful. This whole thing between us is still new and uncertain. You’re so young, I shouldn’t have… Fuck. I fucked it up.”

"What the hell are you talking about, Miller?" you gasped, completely stunned by his words "What do you mean - too young? I..."

"Look at us. I have a teenage daughter, and you're at the beginning of your career. You can leave this town anytime you want, because there's nothing keeping you here. But what if you're pregnant? That complicates things like hell and..."

"Stop it!" you raised your hand in warning "You're talking nonsense! I knew how old you were from the beginning, I knew about Sarah and it didn't bother me."

Joel rolled his eyes. "Now you say that."

“Oh! And you’re a know-it-all!” you snorted angrily. “So I think it’s safe to say you took advantage of a young and fresh pussy.”

Joel gave you a stern look, but you didn't even blink. You were ready to fight him if he wanted to. You were aware of his fears and insecurities, but you thought that by this point you had already shown him how much you cared about him. Age was just a number to you, and ten years didn't make much difference when you weren't a teenager anymore.

"I never thought of you that way." he replied, clenching his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning slightly white.

"I feel different now." you replied, shrugging. "Because you're acting like you're just looking for an excuse to break up with me. Because you read some message on my phone? Please! That's pathetic!"

“Pathetic?!” Joel raised his voice. How could you be so indifferent to how your life might change? No one in their right mind would decide to have a child so soon. But of course, you were still young, the romantic vision of a family still lingered in your mind, and you didn’t realize how much it would affect you.

Joel wanted to say something else, but you suddenly grabbed your things and got out of the car slamming the door. He quickly got out after you.

"Did you take the test? When are you seeing the doctor?" he asked, catching you before the door.

"Leave me alone." you hissed, ripping your arm out of his grip. "You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I think I do."

You looked at him in a way Joel had never experienced before. Your warm gaze turned hard and angry, your mouth a thin line, and your entire body took on a defensive stance. You had never argued like this before.

"Fine." you finally said. "I'll tell you. I have an appointment on Monday. Are you happy?"

"I'll go with you."

“Don’t be ridiculous, this doesn’t concern you at all,” you laughed nervously. “And it definitely doesn’t concern you now.”

Joel looked at you in surprise. So he's already screwed everything up? He's already erased those few really good months?

“I’m not pregnant,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “My last checkup showed I had ovarian cysts. They caused my periods to be irregular, and now my period is a few weeks late. The doctor said I should see him if that happens.”

"Cysts?" Joel repeated.

"Yes! I didn't tell you anything because I didn't see the need." you replied "I'm not pregnant, Joel. And you... You, fucked up."

You turned around and disappeared through the door before he had a chance to say anything.

Joel had all night to think about what had happened. All night without sleep, when he kept seeing your angry face in his mind, when he kept repeating your words and feeling worse by the moment. He picked up the phone several times to call you, but he kept giving up, terrified you wouldn't pick up.

What would he have done if you hadn't picked up? Would that have meant the end for both of you? He couldn't believe that his own fears and insecurities had led him to attack you so suddenly. He could have done it differently, he could have waited for you to say something. Instead, he had cornered you and forced you to admit to something that was clearly your own personal issue, one that you wanted to resolve on your own.

He knew nothing about women's health issues. When Sarah got her first period, he managed with the help of a nice store employee, and then his daughter took over. For Joel, a missed period meant pregnancy, and that meant panic and everything he had experienced before.

No, he didn't want to make excuses for his behavior. He had screwed up. He felt like you were disappointed in him and he had no idea what to do about it.

It was still early when he showed up at your place. You opened the door, sleepy, with ruffled hair, in one of those oversized t-shirts you slept in.

"Joel?" you mumbled hoarsely, rubbing your face, "Did something happen? Something with Sarah?"

He shook his head. "No. I had to see you. I had to... Fuck." He scratched the back of his neck, nervously shifting from foot to foot, "Can we talk? I, I need to know that I didn't completely fuck this up."

You looked at him for a moment in silence, as if you were considering his words in your head. It was a really long few seconds, but you finally pulled away, allowing Joel to step inside. The apartment was bathed in morning sunlight, and Joel's eyes immediately went to the few framed photos of him and Sarah that you had at your place. Another needle stabbed him in the heart.

"So?" you asked, folding your arms over your chest. "I'm listening."

"I don't know where to start." he mumbled completely sincerely.

"I suggest you start from the beginning."

"I'm sorry, darling. I'm sorry for everything I said. I'm a fucking idiot."

You tilted your head. "Good start."

Joel took a deep breath. He wanted to do it right, he wanted to take advantage of the chance he was given. Maybe it was the last one he had.

"I know now that I should have been honest with you from the beginning. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met, and I still can't believe you chose me. I kept thinking we weren't right for each other, that we were too different."

“Are you still thinking about age?”

He nodded. "Yeah. See, you're young, and I..."

You rolled your eyes and cursed loudly. “If you’re going to give me this age difference bullshit, maybe just leave. Jesus! That’s not twenty or fifty. Joel, I’m an adult, I work, I pay taxes. I get to decide who I’m with?”

“You think so now.”

“I thought so from the beginning! When I met you, the first thing I thought was that you have gorgeous eyes and really broad shoulders. I felt good with you, I liked you, and I think you’re really sexy. It has nothing to do with your age.” You took a deep breath and put your hands on your hips, like you were trying to explain something really obvious. “Sarah is amazing, I love spending time with her. I love you, even though sometimes you drive me crazy, and yesterday you really pissed me off. I didn’t tell you about the doctor because there was nothing to talk about. But if you had any suspicions, you should have come to me instead of getting even more upset. I felt like you were just looking for a reason to break up with me.”

“It’s not like that.” Joel took a step toward you. “When Sarah’s mother left us, I was left to fend for myself. Yes, there was Tommy and my mother to help us, but single parenting is no easy feat. I was certain you would disappear, too. Not only would you leave me with a child, but you would simply conclude that I was somehow flawed, that I wasn’t cut out to be with you. I guess I preferred sabotaging us rather than simply facing my fears.”

You looked at him, trying to understand his words. His face, eyes, and body language told you he wasn't lying. Joel was full of uncertainty and doubt, but you thought you were past that stage. You told him many times that you loved him, you didn't belittle his needs, and you always helped him with Sarah or around the house. And yet he felt all of this?

“I’m trying to understand you, Joel, I really am.” You finally said, sighing softly. “But I can’t be the only one in this relationship fighting for us. I feel like no matter what I say or do, you’ll find a reason why we can’t be together. Do you even love me?”

“Oh, baby,” he groaned, moving closer and taking your face in his hands. “You have no idea how much I love you. And that scares me. I’m always afraid you’ll find all my flaws.”

"You have a lot of them. I do too. But does it matter when we're happy together?"

No, it didn't matter. The fear of losing you showed Joel what really mattered to him. He cared about you more than he could admit. He saw how perfectly you fit into his family, always trying to help everyone and make everyone happy. He didn't think he'd ever feel the same way about anyone again. 

"I'm sorry, baby. I don't know what I could do to fix this." He whispered, you felt tears welling up in your eyes at how much he was going through. "But I don't want to end what we have. I love you, I'm sure of that."

"You think so now." You replied, parroting his words.

He smiled slightly. “I’ve known this for a long time, and I think the knowledge scared me. The fear that you’d disappear and I’d be left alone with this feeling. I don’t want you to disappear. I want to stay, permanently.”

"I want to stay too, Joel. Don't push me away ever again."

"Never again, baby."

He kissed you, softly and tenderly, as if he was afraid he still might. But when you kissed him back, Joel felt an unimaginable sense of relief. He had you in his arms again, all the dark thoughts swirling in his head dissipated and he felt happiness fill him. Your arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to you, letting him kiss you like there was no tomorrow.

You could get through this, together. By being more honest, by giving each other a chance at happiness and love, by supporting each other. Joel knew he would do anything to deserve you, and you couldn't imagine not giving him another chance.

“I’ll go to the doctor with you on Monday if you want,” he said as you poured him a fresh cup of coffee and sat down next to him at the table.

“If you want. I could use some support,” you replied, resting your head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of your head and smiled. He would give you anything, and you never asked for much. You just wanted him to love you, and Joel wanted that too.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

[ladysharmaa]

My miracle

Anthony Bridgerton x reader

summary: Anthony’s wife is in labor and it’s not looking good

warnings: mentions of death

“Where is she?” the loud voice of Anthony was heard in the entire mansion. The door he opened slammed into the wall but he couldn’t care less as he saw some servants running his way to take off his coat. “Tell me where my wife is!”

“My apologies, my Lord.” the poor man trembled under the Lord’s menacingly glare, that were just a cover for the worry and fear that was running though his veins. “The Viscountess is in your chambers. The midwife and your mother are already present with her. Shall I inform your brothers to come and wait with you until the child is born?”

Anthony didn’t bother to respond. He quickly climbed the stairs, two steps at once, seeing with wide eyes as the maids ran to his room with towels in their hands. He doesn't even settle for knocking, immediatly opening the bedroom door. None of his mother's stories could have prepared him for the sight that lay ahead.

His darling wife was drenched in sweat, dressed in her nightdown. One hand was on her round belly protectively while the other was in his mother’s hands, who was whispering words of comfort. Her jaw was clenched in pain and it was only then that he noticed the midwife between the Viscountess legs. 

“You!” Y/n screamed accusingly, managing to point a finger at Anthony with hatred. “You did this to me! You will never ever put your hands on me again!”

“I-” Anthony was at loss of words. He knew that his wife was in pain, and looking like she was ready to kill, so he just nodded his head in agreement. He took slow hesitant steps towards the bed, hoping to comfort her without dying. “I’ll never touch you again, my love. How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I’m feeling? I’m pushing your child that inherited your big head out of my lady parts! So tell me, my dear husband, how am I feeling?”

“Like you are giving birth?”

“Anthony...” his mother whispered while shaking her head in dispair. “You should leave the room. Your brothers must be coming to keep you company. We shall call you when the child is born.” 

“I’m not leaving my wife.” was the only thing he said with firmity, holding Y/n’s hand and kissing her soft skin gently.

She turned to him, a change in her demeanor, eyes full of tears of terror. “I’m scared, Anthony. It hurts.”

“I know it hurts. It’s okay, love. You will be alright and then we will have our child with us.” he whispered. A feeling of guilt washed through him. How could he have made his wife suffer through childbirth? “You are the bravest person I know. So so much braver than me and everyone else. I’m so proud of you.”

"I can't do this. It hurts too much. Make it stop, Anthony, please." Y/n cried.

It was only then that Anthony saw the look in his mother. She was worried, exchanging looks with the midwife. And as much as the Viscount would like to also show his anguish, his first priority was to comfort Y/n. "It's going to be okay, my love. Just a little longer, you're being so strong."

But she no longer had the strength to respond. It was getting harder and harder to keep her eyes open and she just wanted to sleep to escape the pain. Between her legs, an increasingly larger pool of blood was forming. Anthony's eyes were wide and there was enormous pressure in his chest. It felt like I was running out of oxygen, and it only got worse when Y/n finally gave in to unconsciousness.

"What's happening?" he whispered, looking in alarm first at Violet. Afterwards, he turned to the midwife furiously. "What's wrong with her? Help her! Do something!"

"Anthony, you need to leave." Violet advised, trying to remain calm for everyone's sake. Anthony was becoming more and more desperate, tears falling from his eyes as he grabbed his wife's hand tighter and brought it to his lips.

"I'm not going anywhere!"

"Viscount Bridgerton, the baby is in pain. You won't want to see what I'm going to do. I promise I'll try to save both of them." the midwife said, taking a small knife and flying it over Y/n's stomach.

"If you need to choose, save my wife's life." Anthony begged, now more desperate as his mother called his brothers to take him out of the room.

"Anthony..."

"No, mother, you save my wife's life!" Benedict and Collin grabbed the man by the arms and began to carry him outside, despite Anthony's struggle. "You hear me! My wife is going to survive! Let me go! Mother, save Y/n!" he shouted before the door closed in his face. 

The last thing he saw was the woman making the cut on Y/n's stomach, who woke up with a jolt. She then let out a scream that would torment Anthony for the rest of his life.

With a cry of anger mixed with sadness, Anthony broke free from his brothers' grip and put his hands to his face. He didn't want to think about the possibility of losing the love of his life. He simply couldn't take it.

"Wow, Anthony, calm down." Collin whispered when Anthony, in a rage, threw a punch against the wall. "The Viscountess is a fighter. If anyone is capable of overcoming this, it's her."

"You don't tell me to calm down, Collin. Not when my wife is in that room fighting for her life over something I did." he cried, jaw shaking and eyes red that only showed the immense pain he was in. He sat on the floor, leaning his head back and looking at the ceiling. "I need her to live."

"And she will live, brother. I will bring a drink, and we will wait together for news." Benedict said, rushing to bring the alcohol when Y/n's screams became louder.

On one hand, each scream was like a stab in the heart of Anthony, who was increasingly pale and looked like he was going to vomit at any moment. On the other, it was the only way to know she was alive.

Moments passed. The Viscount didn't know if it had been seconds, minutes or hours. Things seemed to be getting mixed up in his mind. Nothing made sense, not when the love of his life was in the next room in pain and he was away from her. He had to protect her, it was his obligation as a husband. And he failed.

And then came the moment when Anthony's heart stopped. A baby's cry was heard, and he allowed himself to smile a little. He had a son or daughter. A mini version of his wife. And then he burst into tears when Y/n stopped screaming and everything became too silent.

It was uncontrollable. He cried without being able to stop, making it even difficult to breathe in. Anthony refused to believe that he would have to raise this child without Y/n. Without her affection, her kindness, her love. He didn't want to open his eyes and realize that all this wasn't a nightmare, but reality.

Benedict and Collin didn't know what to do. But one thing was certain, they would be there to help Anthony with whatever he needed and never let that child forget the wonderful mother he had. Then, Violet left the room holding a pile of blankets that held the baby.

"You have a daughter, Anthony."

He just cried more. His body was shaking and he couldn't even look at his mother and the baby. "Y/n... Is she...?" He took Violet's silence as a yes. "Oh god..."

"Enter the room, Anthony. She is waiting for you."

Anthony had never stood up so quickly in his life. He quickly opened the door, stopping momentarily when he saw the amount of blood on the sheets, but the most important thing was Y/n's half-open eyes. She was alive and looking around the room in confusion.

"Anthony? Where is my baby?" her voice was hoarse and extremely weak.

The man fell to his knees at the edge of her bed, and lowered his head to rest on her chest. A feeling of relief spread throughout his body when he felt the rising and falling movement of her chest, indicating that she was breathing and that it wasn't just his imagination.

"I love you so much." he cried, feeling her hands start stroking his hair. "I'm sorry. You were so brave and strong. I'm so proud of you, my love."

"Where is my baby?" Y/n didn't want to seem like she didn't appreciate Anthony's words because that was a lie. He was the most important person in her life. But at that moment, Y/n just wanted to know where her baby was.

"She's right here, dear." Violet reassured with a smile, announcing her presence.

Very carefully, she passed the child into the arms of her son's wife, her smile widening as the little family was finally together again. The new parents had a gentle smile as they looked at their creation, a new love emerging for this fragile human being.

Anthony kissed Y/n's temple. "We have a daughter."

"She is beautiful."

"She takes after her mother." Anthony quickly said, never feeling so much love as he did in that moment. 

He was extremely proud of Y/n admiring her strength and courage. Now, he was going to protect his two girls until the end of his life. Nothing was more important than his family.

[hoshigray]

𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐇[𝐞𝐫]!! | t. fushiguro + s. ryōmen

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Next time, look around the area before you say you find a serial killer attractive. Because you’re about to see what mess your words will have you end up in — and your clothes all torn up.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: serial killers! Toji + Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - modern au! - age gap (the reader is in their early 20s) - porn with plot - oral (f! + m! receiving) - threesome - double penetration; anal (first time) & vaginal - restricted movement (hands tied up) - face-sitting - cowgirl dp positions - gun + knife play - choking - spanking - unprotected sex - overstimulation - degradation (brat, broad, slut, whore) - pet names (baby, dollface, good girl, pet, princess) - blackmail/threats - the reader is in an established relationship w/ Nanami - mentions of blood, tears, spit, and drool.

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 6.6k (told you, porn with plot, lol)

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: uhhhh happy Friday the 13th, everybody???? blame @ramonathinks for this idea (jk, don't, she's so amazing, ty for pushing me into this, mona bear ♡ and tysm for beta reading; your thoughts mean the world). Haven't done a fic in two months sooooo go easy on me!! Not proofread, so I'll fix stuff l8rrrr

“No.”

“Oh, come on, Y/n! Just answer the question!”

“You’re so fucking sick, you know that!?” You glare at your friend, who slumps on the booth chair with a heavy sigh. 

A slight breeze tickles your skin through your comfortable sweatshirts as the leaves on the trees slowly change to autumnal colors, and Halloween decor is already adorning every house and every yard. It was a warm and sunny afternoon on this pleasant Friday. Usually, you’d be cozied up in your apartment enjoying yourself, probably catching up on some horror flicks you missed last year. 

But alas, that was not the case. Because you’re a college student. As October has finally rolled around, only one thing prevents you from enjoying this beautiful season — midterms. The thought of it is enough to pull you into a pool of dread. Every day has been one whirlwind after another. Yet, on the bright side, all you have now is one last exam to worry about, and you’ll finally be able to rest this weekend. So here you are, at the diner with your best friend, Shoko Ieiri, completing your papers while eating off your plates to satiate the stress. For the most part, things were going smoothly.

Until the news anchor on the television at the bar relays an announcement… 

“…Once again, everyone, please be on the lookout for these two killers on the loose. Three weeks ago, the two recently escaped from their cells, killed three guards, and are still at large. There have been accounts around the state that reported recent sightings of either or both criminals, the recent one being in this county 27 hours ago. So, please, stay safe. The killers are identified to be…”

And Shoko, being the curious person she is, asks you a question that stops your fingers from typing on your laptop: “Do you find those killers hot?” 

That’s how you two end up where you are now, groaning at the brunette’s persistence in getting your approval to find two criminals — murderers, even! — attractive. 

“Hey, Y/n, I know you hear me.” Shoko snaps their fingers at you while you try to get the assignment done. “Just answer the question: don’t you think those guys are hot.”

“We didn’t come all this way for you to talk about your hybristophilia fantasies.” Facing the Word document, you remind your friend why you’re here in the first place. “Just get back to writing; I wanna finish this and get home.” There’s nothing said afterward for a few seconds, thinking she has finally given up.

However, “First of all,” your eyes close to conceal them rolling behind the lids. “I’m not into hybristophilia; I just know a hot guy when I see one. Second, look at their mugshots. Like, damn, you’ve ever seen anyone so intimidatingly good-looking before? Come on, have a look!”

“You’re such a weirdo,” the click-clacking of your fingertips tapping your keyboard fills the rest of your answer. 

Still, she persists. “Y/n, look at the phoooone~”

No words, only tapping keys.

“Y/n?”

The keys become louder. 

“Pretty, pretty, pleaseeeee~?” 

Louder.

“Y/n!!”

A fist bangs on the booth table as the other closes the laptop shut, sending another glare to the person across from you who holds the phone up. You’ve had it at this point, so you say with a steady breath, “If I look at the dumb mugshots and answer your dumb question, will your dumbass leave me alone and finish your work?” The brunette only puts the phone on the table and slides it your way, giving you big doe eyes and whimpers like a hurt puppy. You sigh with your nostrils as you snatch the phone up, your gaze stationed on the images presented.

The image displayed two mugshots: on the left was a man with raven hair and a scar on the left of his lip. Intense, forest-green orbs contrast the black strands that cover his forehead. The mugshot letter board below him is labeled as "Toji Fushiguro." The one on the right is another man with spiky salmon-colored hair pushed upfront with prominent black tattoos decorating his nose, cheeks, and forehead. The board named him as “Sukuna Ryōmen.”

You look at the pictures intently, examining the men’s features at your discretion. It didn’t occur to you how long you were gawking at the mugshots until you peered from the phone to see Shoko give you the biggest shit-eating grin. Shaking your head, you chew the inside of your cheek before responding.

“….Well,” you cough. “…they’re not terrible looking at all. They are…..hot.”

“Told you!” Shoko slams the table with high enthusiasm, earning another sigh from you as she snatches the phone back. “Would you fuck them?”

You almost popped a vein. What the fuck—“is wrong with you!?” 

“It’s just a question, geez.” She holds her hands up defensively. “Or is that too lewd and raunchy to ask the partner of the trusting, charismatic “Golden Boy” SGA president, Kento Nanami?”

You choke on your spit before you can say anything, and your cheeks dial in warmth. “S-Shut up! Don’t bring my love life into whatever deviant horny thoughts you’re thinking!”

“I’m sorry, I’m boreeeeeeed. I don’t wanna do this paper, ugh.” The brunette whines and bangs their forehead on the table surface; your eyes roll for the fifteenth time in the past three hours. “…Maybe I should get some dick after this.”

“For fuck’s sake, I’m going to use the restroom.” 

You exit the dining booth when they give you a muffled response of anguish, straightening yourself and heading for the back of the diner. As you walked away, you noticed a pair of hooded figures sitting at the booth behind you. Realization kicks in, and you groan internally. Oh, God, they probably heard what we were talking about! But what caught your mind next was that one of them had a black mark on the bridge of their nose. Huh, what an odd tattoo…

After using the toilet, you wash your hands at the sink, but your mind is still fixated on that weird tattoo. Who would get such a thing on their face? Wouldn’t that hurt? I wonder if that’s the only tatt— And then It clicked, you quickly turn off the faucet and dry your hands, exit the rest restroom, and run to your booth. Shoko was begrudgingly typing away on their laptop until she saw you return in a hurry. 

“Hey, you okay?” She asks you, but you aren’t looking at them. Your face contoured to a confused expression as you stared at the booth behind the one you were sitting in, now empty. 

“Did…..The two people who sat behind us, did you see them?” 

“Hmm? No, I didn’t. Must’ve left while my head was on the table.”

“Uh huh…” you say nothing more as you slowly sit back in front of your laptop. Your mind is now clouded with confusing thoughts, questioning your experience up until now. It could be a coincidence, quite far out at that. Regardless, you could’ve sworn you saw that tattoo on the Sukuna guy that Shoko showed you. It was such an uncommon decor, especially since you just saw it on the face of a criminal. Not to mention, the news anchor earlier stated that those two killers were in this exact county…

Needless to say, you didn’t touch your keyboard for about twenty minutes. Your mind was too wrapped up elsewhere to think clearly about your school assignment, and your body harbored a disturbing chill worse than the soft autumn winds.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“…So, why are you researching about the loose killers again?”

“Hm? Oh,” you stop typing on the laptop to attend to the phone call you’re on. Exiting your bedroom, you walk to the living room. “No reason, I was just curious. I saw something about them on the news at the diner with Shoko.”

The person on the other side of the line hums. “You should be careful about stuff like that.”

“Yeah, I know, Kenty,” you open the sliding door to your balcony and close it behind you before taking a seat on the cream-colored swing chair.

“I’m very serious, Y/n.” It was none other than Kento Nanami who was speaking with you. The trustworthy “Golden Boy” of your class year, the circumspect president of the Student Government Association… your loving and attentive boyfriend.

"I know you are."

"And those guys aren't just any usual criminals. They're notorious killers who barge into people's homes at night to steal valuable things. Maybe even kill their victims in their sleep if they have the time. So, be very careful, okay? Can’t trust these streets at night, especially now with those guys on the run. So, don’t go anywhere alone, always have your pepper spray on you, and be sure everything is locked — doors, windows, everything.”

A deep sigh leaves your lips. “Yeah, I double-checked all the locks once I got inside.” 

No one says a word; the rustling of the trees and the beeping of cars from the traffic at the light substitute this awkward silence. Until Nanami says, “….You scared?”

You don’t answer immediately, your mind flashing back to the bewildering encounter at the diner earlier today. Those two hooded men, one with a black tattoo on his face. It felt too surreal to feel like a coincidence, yet it wasn’t too far out of your mind to think as such. The timing was strange, with the news reporter and your conversation with Shoko. The thought of two murderers nonchalantly being in the same space as you rub you off in the worst way imaginable. “…Kinda, yeah. A bit spooked.”

“You want me to come up there and spend the night?”

“No, no! You don’t have to do that,” you hurriedly decline his proposal. “I know you’re busy with homework and student government stuff. I wouldn’t want you moving around so much; I’d feel bad.”

You hear him chuckle on the other side of the phone, and your heart swoons at the sound. “Don’t feel bad; you could never be a burden to me, especially when your safety is my top priority.” Another skip of the beat; it’ll never fail to amaze you how sweet he is with his words.

“Thank you, Kenty. But still, I know you’ve got a lot on your hands. You don’t have to see me right this moment. Besides, isn’t Haibara supposedly dragging you to some party at Geto’s?” Nanami is silent for a few seconds before he groans; a smile creeps up on your face at his reaction.

“Unfortunately, yes. I have to leave to pick him up, and then we can go…But I can cancel and come o—“

“Absolutely not.” You’re quick to interject. “You’ve been so high and on edge with your exams. This is the first party after midterm week. And I can bet my left toe that Gojo — cause you know he’ll be there if Geto is — will be upset you couldn’t make it.”

“…….Which one?”

“Excuse me?”

“You have five toes on your left foot, so which one—“

“Kento.” He chuckles once more for your ears to hear at the use of his real name. “Have fun, okay?”

Nanami hums. “I’ll try. I’ll come by your place Sunday. Sounds good?”

“Perfect. Take some pics for me. Love you!”

Your boyfriend bids you farewell before ending the call, already missing his voice. A yawn creeps out from you, a sign that you are indeed fatigued and need rest. Leaving the balcony, you close the door and do a final check at your door. Confirmed that it’s locked and secured, you turn off the living room lights and head back to your bedroom to get some shut-eye. 

You shut off and close your laptop on your desk before turning off the lights. Then, you lift the comforter and finally enter the chilly embrace of your bedsheets.  Usually, you’d scroll on your phone for a little bit until you get drowsy enough to fall asleep. Yet — it could be because of the exam you were doing at the diner — you felt way more exhausted than usual and wanted to sleep right away. And you did just that: closed your eyes, listened to the calming rhythm of your breaths, and soon drifted into an anticipated slumber.

….Three Hours Later….

The next time you open your eyes, you’re not in the room you left yourself in — let alone the bed. 

Instead, you find yourself somewhere cold and dark. Your bed is nowhere in sight, just a lone chair facing you. There are no windows, no desks, just you and this chair with a sole overhead light that almost blinds you when you slowly get up. 

The change of scenery throws you off as one thought after another picks up the pace of confusion. Where am I? What is this place? This has to be a sick dream of mine…Wait a minute. You look down to find your pajamas are shriveled and torn up, pieces of the material scattered all over where you’re lying on the cold floor. Also, what the fuck!? You can’t seem to move your hands and feet, noticing that there’s some rope restricting your limbs from moving freely from one another. No matter how hard you try, squirming does little to no help, yet it confirms that this is not a dream.

What the absolute fuck is going on right now!? It was an appropriate question for this perplexing situation, not knowing where to pick up from to start picking clues as to why you’re here. Better yet, who brought you here?

“Ah, look who’s awake.”

You turn to the sound of a door opening and closing; the direction it came from makes it hard to register the distance of whoever was speaking to you. However, that doesn’t matter because you can hear footsteps approaching you and a figure stepping into the light. And when the face finally comes to your field of vision, your blood shifts into an immediate icy cold.

Standing to you by the chair was a man in a tight black shirt that exhibited his muscular arms and physique way too perfectly, harboring dark and baggy pants. But those weren’t the features that had your breath hitch. No, no. The man before you had raven hair with the length stopped to his ears and strands that covered his brows. They did not even try concealing the striking green eyes that looked straight at you. And the familiar scar at the right of his lip put everything together for you — the mugshot that Shoko showed me, the inmate that escaped prison…!

Toji Fushiguro, in the flesh, takes a seat on the chair with his legs spread while putting on black gloves. He notices your look of realization and smirks; you don’t like how his scar is rooted up with the motion. “Y’re a pretty heavy sleeper, ya know that. But I guess that made bringing you here a lil’ simple.” 

A tiny bit of confidence prompts you to speak with the man. “Whe–Where am I?”

“C’mon now, little girl,” your stomach churns when he scoffs at you. He brings up a hand to help him as he cracks his neck. God, why is he so jacked!!? “Y’re supposed to be smart, right? You know that’s the wrong question to ask me.” 

Okay then, think, Y/n, think… ”…Why did you kidnap me? Is it for money? Because I don’t have much—“ The palm of Toji’s hand faces you to halt you from speaking more, making your nervousness dwell even further. 

“For one, you should really consider locking your balcony door when y’re done using it.” There are not enough words to describe the mental facepalm you gave yourself. “If we wanted to run y’r pockets, we woulda done so earlier.” He casually admits to you. “But that’s not why we brought ya here, so he’ll explain it to ya.”

He? Wait, wait, we??

The other mugshot hits you like a flash before you hear the door open and close again. Of course, Toji isn’t the only one on the run right now. There was another guy with salmon-colored hair and tattoos. The other figure, now wearing a black tank tee and ripped black jeans, came from behind Toji. Your stomach drops to the floor when your eyes land on the prominent black tattoo on his nose — now seeing that he has way more on his face, shoulders, arms, and wrists. The scene from the diner replays until your brain can’t keep up. It was him, no doubt about it.

“Well, well. Did the sleeping beauty finally get their rest?” Sukuna Ryōmen, looks just as [if not more] dangerous as Toji. He stuffs his hand into the back of his jeans pocket. “Listen here, I’ll be asking you some questions, and I expect nothing but honest answers. Got that?” 

You don’t know what possessed you to ask the question. You being scared shitless right now should’ve prevented you from doing so. And yet, you ask, “And if I don’t?”

It happened way too fast; your eyes couldn’t even process it happening. But one moment, the salmon-haired criminal was standing in front of you beside Toji. The next, you feel someone crouched behind you with the cold feeling of something barely piercing your skin. Your eyes widen, and you don’t dare move a single hair. Toji shakes his head at you, the smirk on his face still present. Now you can guess who had fun cutting up your PJs.

“I don’t think you wanna know the answer to that question.” He says it so close to your ear that you could’ve nearly fainted. Sukuna then moves the knife to scrape the side of your neck. “And don’t you ever think you’re in a position to ask me questions. Use that college brain of yours, brat.” 

You gulp — a risky move when you have a sharp object to your neck — and nod. Satisfied, the pink-haired man removes the knife from your proximity and stands right up. “At least you follow things quickly.” He says while walking back to where he stood prior. “Now, question one: do you know a kid named Kento Nanami?” 

The mention of your boyfriend’s name hits you like whiplash. Kento? What do they want with him!?

“…Yes, I do.”

“Good. Next question,” You chew the inside of your lip before he asks you the following. “Where does he live?”

Your body almost shuts down when he says the final word. No. No, no, no! Absolutely not! “I can’t tell you that.”

“Tch, just when you were doin’ so good.” Sukuna sucks his teeth. “And why the hell not?”

“Because I don’t want you hurting him.”

He barks a laugh. “You don’t even know what we’ll do to him! Damn, talk about a loyal dog.” 

The insult sparked a flame in you. It was a small one, but a flame nonetheless. “Why the hell do you want to know anyway? It’s not like he knows you any—Hrckk!”

“What the hell did I say about you asking questions, huh.” A hurried hand meets your throat, black nails digging into your skin as his grip gets unbearably tight. You attempt to keep a stern face despite choking for some air, but you’d be lying that the pain wasn’t getting to your head.

“Alright, Kuna, let ‘em go.” You almost forgot about Toji sitting on the chair until he spoke up. With a displeased click of the tongue, Sukuna releases you and throws you to the cold, hard floor. “For your information, princess, that kid does know us.”

You’re coughing up a storm, but you still listen. Your eyes are watery, and your throat pulses. “Hic…Ack, what—What are you talking about?”

Toji continues. “That little friend of y’rs is the reason why we were behind bars for three years. Fuckin’ kid saw us break into a house in his neighborhood and called the cops on us. For the longest time, we’ve thought about getting out of those damn cells and coming back to rip that lil’ fucker limb from limb. Maybe ransack his whole home and then some.” 

“And now that we are out here,” Sukuna chimes in. “We plan on doing just that. We were sitting right behind you at the diner and heard the brown-haired chick say his name, meaning he had to be around this county. And when he heard that fucking square had a little girlfriend, who better to introduce ourselves and point us the way than you.” 

So much information hits you all at once that you’re not given enough time to process it properly. Nanami called the cops on these guys? Where was that piece of information on the phone call!!? Three years ago, it must’ve happened before the start of freshman year. And then there’s the matter of these murders trying to kill him — the love of your life! 

You immediately try to weigh your options: you could give them a fake address, but that would lead them back to you and have you killed instead. And Nanami doesn’t live at home right now; he’s on campus with you and everyone else. So, sharing these two his home address will just have his family killed in his place! Oh, you wouldn’t handle that guilt; you just couldn’t!!

“So, what’ll it be, little girl?” Toji’s voice snaps you from your rampant thoughts. “You can be a cute girlfriend and be loyal, and we’ll just kill you right here, right now. Or, you give us an address, we’ll put you back to sleep, and you’ll never see from us ever again.” 

Those two options were far from what you wanted to do. You would never want to jeopardize your poor boyfriend’s life and those around him for being a model citizen, especially for these assholes! There had to be a way, something you could do!

“Please, don’t hurt him!” The ropes on your hands and feet have you shuffle to look at the two men from the dirty ground. “He didn’t do anything wrong. Please just spare him!”

“No-can-do, brat.” Sukuna comes down to your level once more, yanking your shirt — or whatever’s left of it, your bra practically out for the whole world to see — to lift your upper body. “Nothing to ease a vengeful spirit than taking care of the problem, right? So do us a favor, will ya.” 

Tears are fighting your control to fall, your body trembling. You’re scared, so so frightened. But most of all, you’ll do what you can to make sure your “golden boy” stands tall for you. “Please, I’ll do anything! Anything you want, I’ll do it! So, please!!” 

Sukuna opens his mouth to bite back, but no words come out. Actually, his expression resorts back to a neutral tone. He then turns to Toji, who looks at him with a quirked brow. There’s nothing but silence between the two, a silent conversation between the two killers that you have no choice but to stay quiet for. And you jerk when the two focus back on you. Sukuna then finally says something.

“Anything, huh?” It’s the worst when he sneers at you. Such a devious man. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Tch. Fucking brat.” Sukuna sucks his teeth before he snatches your chin with a rough vigor, forcing your teary eyes to face him. And it doesn’t help that you now have a gun pointed at your temple. “This is your warning. You better do this right, or you’ll be the first to get a gift with your boyfriend’s head all minced up. Now, use that mouth. Properly.”

Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think you’d end up here. You stood on your knees and hands on the concrete floor, your mouth occupied with Sukuna’s cock, propelling your face to and fro to meet the base. Why the handgun to your head? According to the salmon-haired man, he said: “Try to fight, run, or bite our dicks off, then this whole mag is getting emptied.” So, you’re literally giving the fellatio of your life. And judging by the grunts coming from Sukuna, it seems you’re doing a decent job keeping him going. 

As for the other one, Toji, his hands grabbing onto your asscheeks from beneath should answer that. “C’mon, baby, sit on my face. I don’t bite…” you can tell he has the biggest grin on his face saying that, has you hesitant to follow orders. Regardless, you gently sway your ass down to sit on his face. But impatience gets the best of him before he pulls you down himself, his nose abruptly hitting your clitoris. You jolt despite his hands keeping you on him, forced to feel his tongue and mouth indulging on your wet folds.

So there you sit, bare and nude, for the men to use you as they see fit. Whatever piece of your clothes were torn off you to be fully exposed for them. This is what you choose to do for the sake of your boyfriend: giving yourself off for the night. 

Oh, if Shoko could see you now. Sucking off one of the exact murderers you two were talking about at the diner while the other eats you out? You know you’ll never hear the end of it from her if — by some miracle — she finds out! And you’ll hold onto that miracle for as long as you can. 

“…Fuuuck, hnngh! It’s been a minute since I had my dick on something tight,” Sukuna comments while putting his free hand on your head. His thrusts increase to have your tongue bathe the underside of his dick, and he sighs at you choking when the tip suddenly hits your uvula. “Heh, that’s right. Keep those tears coming, pet…You seem to be enjoying yourself there, Fushiguro. This broad taste that fucking good—Ohhh shit, fucking shit…”

You can feel Toji’s lips curve into a smile from down under, he gives your labia and clit a slow and antagonizing lick before responding to his partner in crime. “Mmmm, man. It’s been a while since I had to do this. Crazy how this princess got with a square like that kid. Wonder if he makes ‘em feel good like this.” And then he returns to your clit to give it a harsh suck. 

Your body continues to be used like a toy. Your jaw loosens to oblige Sukuna’s girth that’s currently hitting the back of your throat every time your lips meet the pubes of his pelvis. His ruts dial-up, and you ball your fists with the constant oral abuse on your face. Drool runs down your chin with every shove of his length, practically choking you with his dick. And the commotion between your leaking vulva and Toji doesn’t go unnoticed either; motherfuker’s tongue is relentless, making sure every crevice and part of your pussy is familiar with him. And the sounds of him slurping your essence are so lewd, so erotic for your ears that you think they’re bound to explode on you. 

“—Ahhh, damn, I’m gonna cum,” Oh, God. Your eyes open to look at Sukuna’s expression, nothing but pure enjoyment looking at your pitiful look. “You’re cute looking all pathetic taking my cock like this, whore—Mmmph!! Shiiiit, keep your head like that.” He grabs your head as his thrusts speed up to an irregular pace, your throat and face becoming numb. Your whimpers are muffled, and tears streak down your cheeks. His groans of pleasure fill the room, and before you know it, his load is released down to the depths of your throat. You’re stuck taking it, mewling on the shaft still in your mouth until he’s finished. 

He removes you when he is, his cock slathered in your saliva and still rock hard. You gawk at it, amazed that you could fit it in your mouth. And you hate to admit this, but it has you wondering what Toji’s is like. 

Speaking of, with a foggy mind, you peer down to see Toji finally done eating your cunt out. “Ya taste good, you know that.” He licks his lips provocately with a smile. You open your mouth to say something, but he cuts you off. “You ready fr’ me now?” He cocks his chin up, and you turn to see what he’s talking about, only to be met with the pinkish-red tip of his sprung erect cock. If you didn’t think you’d be able to have Sukuna’s in your mouth, you’re going to need a diety’s grace to see what you can do with Toji’s. “Heh, think I’m too big fr’ you? How the hell is Kento handling a piece like you?”

“S–Shut up, stop bringing him up!” You shout at him, tired of being reminded of the love of your life whom you’re betraying right now. All for his sake, but still…

He chuckles at your reaction. “Little girl got spark, huh. Fine then, be a doll and put it in yourself.” 

Cold sweat slides from your brow. Me? I’ve gotta put that shit in on my own!? But you have to. You know you do. So, with anxiousness pooling in your stomach, you bring your ass up and use your hand to align his cock to your wet cunt. 

It takes a lot of mental motivation for you to continue, but slowly and surely, you push the folds of your cunt onto his glans. The pain you experience makes it excruciating to bear, but with steady breaths, you push the tip in with every exhale. And when it finally enters your vulva, a gasp erupts from your puffy lips and a hiss from the man with the scarred lip. “Mmmm, slow down, baby, slow it down…” That was probably the only words he’s ever said that you could trust, so you anchor your ass down, taking in every inch of his length with his hands guiding your ass down. When you reach the base, you give yourself a few seconds to adjust to his girth within your velvety walls. “Fuck, ya feel so nice and tight, princess.”

“Is that so?” Sukuna walks from behind. “Can’t wait for me to have a go.” You couldn’t even comprehend the meaning of that sentence because the salmon-haired one kicked your back. You are now mounted on Toji completely, the two of you facing each other while Sukuna crouches behind your ass. “Get ready, I’m putting it in.”

“Huh?” Wait, both at the same time!? “Ho–Hold on, I’ve never done it in my ass bef—“

“Doesn’t sound like a problem to me; guess I’ll be the first then,” he shuts down your argument and then bends down to use his fingers and spit to ease your asshole. It feels so gross and repulsive that you could puke right now. Not that it would matter to Sukuna because he’s already set on doing it — his fore and middle finger pushing in and out of your anus. When he feels you’ve loosened up, he’ll remove his digits and substitute them with his cock. 

And he doesn’t warn you either, fucking bastard; he nudges his dick in his own countdown with no regard to how you’re feeling. Gripping onto the raven-haired man’s black shirt, Sukuna’s cock puts you through pain worth traumatizing, evoking screams that scratch your throat until he gets the whole thing in your ass. Nanami would never put you through this much pain. Never!

“Aww, y’re making the pretty girl cry,” Toji teases condescendingly, chuckling at the sight of you burying your head in his chest to shield the embarrassment. 

Sukuna hums while grinding his hips to your ass, a tiny bit of blood painting his shaft. “Hmph, good, makes my enjoyment worthwhile. Now,” you shriek with the sudden snap of his hips to your ass. “Let’s get this show started.”

When Sukuna moves, Toji follows right after, and you’re left to fend for yourself in this unsteady tempo from both your holes. You start seeing stars from the unusual stimulation, and your mind and vision become so blurry that it hurts to think. Hell, it hurts to try and concentrate on one dick at a time! One is currently scraping the wells of your walls in a way that your slit clenches around him, while the other churns your insides from the back that almost takes your breath away. More drool and tears seep into the black shirt you use to disguise yourself from them. This shit is already humiliating as is!

“C’mon now, baby. Show me that pretty face of y’rs.” Of course, Toji uses one hand to nudge your head to look at him. Your face is such a wet and hot mess, the sweat on your body making you sticky. The attempt to make sentences is beyond you, relying on moans and choked sobs to express your disorganized emotions. “There ya are. Good fuckin’ girl.”

Toji then takes your plump lips with his, his hand snaking to the back of your head to deepen the kiss. It was one thing letting them use your cunt and ass as they see fit; now, they dare to kiss you in a time like this. Oh, this is the absolute worst! How can you speak to Nanami ever again after this!? These lips are now sullied by the lips and cock of other men. You can’t ever go back and say that you were his, and it’s because of these assholes!!

…And what’s worse, you were starting to find enjoyment in what you were doing, sinking into Toji’s kiss and moaning into his scarred lips.

“Haahh…Mmmph…Damn, this slut is so fucking tight.” Sukuna watches your back glisten in the light while your ass quaked under his unstable momentum. He sneers before slapping your asscheek, resulting in a rushed moan and a twitch from your pussy. Toji breaks the kiss. “Hey, keep doing that. Think they like it.” 

With devilish glee, the tattooed other doesn’t hold back. He gives you another smack to the ass, and more loud purrs and shrieks fill the space between you three. Fast ruts to your soaping slit and ass coincide with the strikes to your butt, catching you off guard and leaving a stinging sensation every time. 

It’s apparent now that your hips start to move on their own, riding out your own high while preparing for your orgasm that’s climbing up. And the raven-haired man notices as he puts your hand on your aching buttcheeks. “Goin somewhere, dollface?” 

Oh, for fuck’s sake, let me come already!! “—Ahhnn, ooohhhh!! I’m about to cummm—I’m gonna break—Eeyahhh!!!

“That so?” You want to wipe that smirk off his stupid, dumb, handsome face. “Then go ahead and get dirty, princess. Ring us up.”

Your arousal staggers up when both of their thrusts fall into a unity, the tender spots of your gummy walls from your ass and cunt being hit and abused prompt more ecstatic moans and your head pounding with every jab. Almost there, almost! Please, please, I want it!! And you are finally given what you want; your release crashes into you in a hard swoop, the shocks crawling up your body while your holes contract around both men’s cocks. Your brain falls into an erotic trance; you only care about the euphoric sensations tingling around your body. Dizziness overtakes you, and your head descends back on Toji’s chest.

“Hmph, you really a pathetic pet.” Sukuna grinds his pelvis into your sensitive ass. The aftershocks from your release still make your body react to their movements. “Chasing for your own orgasm, huh. We outta fuck that selfishness right out of you, damn brat…”

You don’t say anything — more like you don’t have the energy to. Your ass and chasm are too stuffed to keep your mind active, and your eyelids feel too heavy to keep up. It probably was from all that crying and screaming. All you want to do is go back to sleep in your bed at your cozy apartment. But that must be asking for too much. Just please end this nightmare…

Kenty…Please forgive me, I’m so sorry….

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You can’t remember how sleep found you that night. But your eyes open to the ray of sunshine that peaks through the binds of your bedroom. Wait, my bedroom!?

You shoot up from your bed, the soft comforter and sheets peeling off your skin, and the cool air from the air conditioning welcomes you back to your personal space. Everything untouched, everything where it’s supposed to be — where you’re supposed to be.

A deep breath is the first thing you do when you wake up, following a long exhale. Was I dreaming? You would’ve accepted that delusion had you not looked down to realize that your figure was covered with one of your oversized shirts, remembering that your old pajamas were cut and torn up. Flashes of last night return to haunt you, and shivers travel down your spine from realizing what transpired at those ungodly hours. You quickly check your sheets for any stains — Thank God, none. Funny how a pair of serial killing assholes have the decency to clean up your body. 

And then a sudden feeling of dread crawls up after hearing your phone vibrating on your nightstand. You hurry to check the screen to find out it was a text message from Nanami. It’s a Saturday, 9 a.m. He’d usually be sleeping in until noon. Curious, you unlock your phone to check what your boyfriend is texting you about.

Recent Message from: ♡ my bby nanamiii ♡

Hey, Y/n. Hope you slept well and everything’s okay. I’m coming from Geto’s place after picking up Haibara, who is going through the worst hangover right now. He said he wants to see you and that you make the best meals for his hangovers. I don’t want to intrude if you’re not up for guests, so please tell me so I can take him somewhere else. But otherwise, we’ll be there at around 30-45 mins. Let’s just relax this weekend, okay?

Reading the text as you fall in love with him all over again. After what you’ve gone through, knowing that he’s safe and sound from any trouble, all you want right now is to be around him and hold him close. To be with him and forget about everything that’s happened. 

You send a heartwarming reply saying you’ll be waiting for the two of them. Then, you remove yourself from the bed and stretch out your fatigued muscles. Ugh, I should probably shower before Nananmi gets here…

However, before you lift your shirt and head for the bathroom, you notice a glass of water and a bag full of pills. Huh…I definitely didn’t have that there when I went to sleep before I was taken. And next to the glass was a folded piece of paper. Curiosity got the best of you this morning as you picked up the material to read its contents. 

And this is where you knew your life was changing, for better or worse. Your legs give out, making you fall to your knees with a shaky breath, the hairs of your body standing, and your heart on the verge of leaping out of your mouth. What you read crushed your whole being, leaving you cold in this world — worse than the autumn breeze.

Yo, thanks for the great time last night. Keep that up, and your pretty boytoy will keep standing. Here’s water and birth control, and keep that bag safe. Wouldn’t wanna end up losing it for the next time we fuck you dumb. See ya later, pet.

SR + TF

♱ 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2023 – reblogs + comments are appreciated wholeheartedly <3 header art by rororgi mogera + dividers by the amazing @/cafekitsune!!

[kngrose]

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐊𝐀 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝜗𝜚

WARNINGS: 18+, sexual content, mommy kink, biting, squirting, slapping, spit play, degradation, dacryphilia, ignoring safe words, implied age gap, sevika is mean

from roselí. ᡣ𐭩: i got carried away… ;] not proof read! ^^

SFW

Initially, she wanted nothing to do with you.

Like at all.

Once she realized that her feelings for you were anything more than platonic, she wanted to throw you off the piltover bridge.

She was so incredibly frustrated with herself because, how did she let this happen?!

You’ll definitely notice she starts smoking a hell of lot more frequently and spends most—if not all—of her free time in the brothel— anywhere you’re not around.

But of course, she can only run from her feelings for so long, and she eventually caves; letting you in.

Because of her upbringing, she has quite a hard time adjusting to having a girlfriend.

If its not anger, she has a hard time expressing herself. And if she’s not angry and it’s something trivial? More often than not she’ll end up accidentally hurting your feelings with her harsh tone.

One time, when the two of you had started dating, she’d asked you, "Have you ever done this before?” and it shocked you because you didn’t know if she was implying something or—

When you’d sputtered back a flushed, “Done, what?” she rolled her eyes and retorted, "Had a girlfriend, dumbass." Her tone stern but not necessarily angry. Later, she would have to console you after you admitted she’d hurt your feelings.

She swears she doesn’t mean to— that’s just how she talks!

Not to mention her heavy handedness??? Like omg.

She’s so heavy handed.

You’ll end up with tiny bruises scattered everywhere because of how hard she’ll grab your hand or your arm.

When she places a hand on your lower back to guide you it’ll feel more like a shove.

She has this cute little habit of kicking your legs under the table—for fun or to get your attention— and she swears it’s a soft little nudge.

But when you show her the red and purple blotches afterwards, she’ll relent.

It’ll take her a while, but she learns.

She learns to be more gentle and handle you with care.

She’ll also learns how to recieve love and affection!

It was quite foreign for her, like it would be for most people in the undercity. At first it made her uncomfortable— the constant little touches, the chaste kisses to the cheek, the hugs.

You’ll notice that she’s super standoffish when you do these things. Just staring at you with this unreadable expression.

It’s not that she didn’t like it, she just wasn’t used to it, and she didn’t quite know how to feel about it.

Don’t be misconstrued though, because once she solidifies the idea that this is normal behavior, she’ll be all over you.

I headcannon that her biggest display of affection is physical touch. She just loves to touch you in any way possible.

If you’re sitting on a couch or a bench, personal space is not an option. She’s presses herself right up against you, thighs touching and all.

If you’re going for a walk, she’s holding your hand or your wrist. Sometimes she’ll even wrap her hand around the back of your neck.

If you’re sitting at a table she’s got a hand on your thigh, or wrapped around your ankle when you cross your legs.

Loves to just play with your fingers or lay her head in your lap. Please play with her hair!! She’ll grab your hands and place them on her head if you don’t, grumbling at you for not already doing your “job”.

I also think she would just love quality time, because she’s clingy! The two of you don’t even have to talk, as long as you’re there she’ll be content with just sitting in silence and enjoying your company. And if she’s not busy, you always have hers.

She wants to do everything with you, laundry, shopping, studying, napping— all of it. She would sit in the bathroom while you poop, if you’d let her.

She hates leaving you alone, and despises when you leave her side. “It’s too dangerous out here, Darlin’…” is what she says everytime, “Who’s gonna protect you?”

She’s got a long list of petnames for you. More often than not you’ll hear:

“Darlin’..” “Baby..” “Pretty girl…”

Flying from her mouth with whatever little things she says. Sometimes when she’s feeling playful, she’ll name you after whatever you have on at the moment.

For instance if you’re wearing glasses, she’ll call you glasses. If you’ve got on a button up, she’ll call you button.

She won’t ever admit it but she’ll appreciate it greatly if you have your own pet names for her aswell. They’ll make her look away in the efforts that you don’t see the giddy smirk that she swallows.

She can’t have you knowing you make her all soft.

Speaking of which.

She’s the definition of “grumpy”. Like everything she does, she has to grumble about it. Want her to grab the remote? Fine, she’ll do it, but she’s going to grumble the whole time. Grab your jacket? Ok, cool, but you’re gonna hear this grumbling monologue, something about how you, “Couldve grabbed it yourself..”

She’s definitely the type to say “No.” when you ask her to do something, and then do it anyway.

She loves to pretend that she’s stone cold but she’s actually a huge softie when it comes to her little gf! (wife)

She loves to just look at you. Would definitely make others say, “Wow, look how she’s looks at her—”

Multiple times day you’ll catch her just idly staring at you, and it makes you self conscious— starting to touch at your hair and clothes. When you question her about it she’ll just say, “What? I can’t look at my pretty girl?” and kiss the corner of your lips.

She listens to you so intently, like she’s hanging onto every word, and blinks slowly at you like a cat. If you’re venting and just want her to listen? You got it. Come take a seat on her lap and she’ll hear everything you have to say; rubbing circles on your back with one hand, and holding yours with the other, just looking up at you with the occasional, “Mhm..”

And if you wanna talk about something silly? Go right ahead! She’ll listen all the same, offering her two cents every now and then or a soft chuckle. She’ll never turn down an opportunity to hear your voice.

She loves when you ask to arm wrestle

Likes to watch you try to pull her arm down with two of yours, smiling softly at your efforts before kissing your forehead and saying, “Better luck next time, princess.”

Don’t even try with an actual wrestling match— she tosses you around so easily, it makes you embarrassed. It slips your mind sometimes, her brute strength, because you’ve gotten so used to her being soft with and around you.

But when she pounces, pinning you in all of five second— without an ounce of a struggle��� let’s just say it’s always a humbling experience. “My baby’s gotta get stronger,” She’ll always say, beforing tossing you over her shoulder with a chuckle.

She loves to give you random little kisses. Some on your cheeks, a few where your neck meets your shoulder. Behind your ears, on the palm of your hands. Every last one of your knuckles. Of course your precious lips.

She loves your lips. Loves when you get all done up and pretty so she can watch you put lip gloss on; before she messes it up by kissing you so she can watch you do it again. “Oh, don’t fuss at me,” She’ll smirk from behind you, watching you redo your lipstick in the mirror. “Just wanna kiss my pretty girl…” She’s kisses your cheek. You’re better off doing your makeup when she’s not around… if she’s ever not around.

And when you tell her you love her for the first time, she smiles softly, "I love you too." Sevika says gently, "I just don't quite understand what you see in me." The crimeboss chuckles, "A big, rough, hardened criminal.. doesn't exactly seem like a popular relationship choice, darlin'." She teases, looking down at you with a crooked grin.

Her grin softens into a look of admiration as you explain that the love you have for her is beyond those things, because you knows she’s more than that. "You see into me like no one else." She admits quietly, "You see past the walls, and the mask, and even the facade." She continues, "You see all the pieces I work so hard to keep covered up." Sevika adds on, chuckling softly as she looks down at you. "You're the only one who does that, y'know?" She admits, "You're the only one I allow to see me for who I really am."

NSFW

Come, come. Let’s discuss.

There’s so many things that really get Sevika going, and with you as her pretty little girlfriend, it doesn’t take much. She won’t admit it, but in those moments where she’s just staring at you, she picturing the most ungodly scenes. It gets worse once you realize how often it is you catch her staring.

She can’t help it. She’s always riddled with flash backs of you getting slutted out. While she’s working at the brothel, playing poker, having meetings with Silco— it doesn’t matter. It’ll just randomly cross her mind and she’ll realize: she can’t wait to come home.

Sevika loves it when you call her Mommy. It makes her feel powerful. It strokes her ego. It gives her a warm fluttering feeling in her chest everytime you let it slip from your lips. Often times, she’ll like to make you repeat yourself, just so she can hear you say it over and over and over again.

She loves to bite and she loves to be bitten. It’s something so primal about it that warms up her core and makes her soak. She’ll let out deep rumbles when you bite into her arm or shoulder, never applying too much pressure. She’s told you before that you don’t have to hold back, but you always do. She doesn’t.

You see, Sevika likes to fluctuate. Not between top and bottom, but hard and soft.

Sometimes she wants to be so gentle with you. Kissing you passionately, hugging you tight, caressing you all over, giving you slow deep thrusts so she can show you how much she really loves you.

Other times she wants to be rough. She wants to toss you around, and pull your hair. Leave marks and choke you until you can’t breathe. Impose on you with her harrowing size and strength.

It’s even better when she finds the middle ground.

She’ll always ease you into everything, just to make sure you’re on the same page.

When she’s feeling particularly soft, she’s loves to service you. She’ll lay you on your back and kiss you everywhere, she likes to see how worked up it’s gets you. Pressing soft wet kisses down your neck and chest, undressing you as she does so.

And she’ll smirk as you’re left in your underwear, leaning down to press a soft kisses against your stomach. She’ll move lower, kissing your hips and your thighs before kissing your pussy through the thin fabric of your panties. "I'm gonna take these off, that okay, Baby?" She’ll ask, already knowing your answer, her fingers toying with the waistband.

And she will laugh, seeing how you eagerly nod your head, a breathless, “Yes, Mommy.” falling from your pretty lips. She’ll hum to herself lowly. God, She loves it when you call her that. And she’ll free you of your panties because, how could she resist such a sweet plea?

And once she sees how wet your pussy is, she’ll whistle, “Phew, what’s got my baby so worked up?” And run her fingers over your slit, gathering up the mess on her fingers to taste. Sevika will eat your pussy for hours. And please don’t test this theory— because you’ll regret it.

It doesn’t matter if you buck your hips away, she’ll just wrap her arms around your hips effectively locking them down, and continue to have her way. “Let Mommy eat, pretty..” She’ll chastise, and you’ll have no choice but to oblige.

And when she’s done eating your pussy, she’ll position you to sit in front of her and lean on her bare chest so she can fuck you with her fingers until you squirt all over them. She loves the access she has here. She gets to kiss all over your neck and shoulders and rub at your nipples, all the while pressing her palm against your clit while her fingers press against that spongey spot inside you.

And don’t even think about telling her you can’t take anymore, because it’ll fall on deaf ears. She’ll swallow up your pleas in a sweet kiss, telling you, “Nonsense, Baby. Mommy knows you can handle s’more..” Trust me, when she’s feeling soft, she’ll never take you beyond your means. She knows her princess.

She’ll kiss you so passionately you both never want to stop, rutting her pussy against yours precisely. You just know she’s had some practice. She likes to look deep into your eyes, holding you there by your cheeks the whole time. Pressing her forehead against yours while she whispers to you.

“My pretty baby… you feel s’good..” She’ll murmur against yours while she lips, before sucking on them sweetly. She’s so sweet when she’s soft.

But when she’s hard: She’s nasty.

Filthy and vulgar, and driven by nothing but the urge to ruin. In these times, it’s hard to get through to her. Nothing you say will get through her head unless it’s, “Yes, Mommy” or a direct response to what she’s just ordered you to do.

Keyword ordered.

She’ll have you stripped in record timing, gripping both of your wrists harshly, pinning them above your head, “These stay here, Understand?” She’ll say, her tone authoritive with no room for argument. And you’ll nod your head like a good girl for her.

When she spreads your legs, that’s where they better stay, otherwise she’ll slap your pussy, hard, and that’ll just be your first warning. She’ll grill you down with a hard stare, and you’ll know not to make that mistake again.

She’ll bring two fingers to your lips, and tap against them. "Open up for Mommy, baby." She’ll order, tone stern. And when you do, she’ll fuck your throat with those fingers, feeling you gag and watching the spit slide down your throat. And she’ll lick it all up just to spit it back in your mouth. “Good girl…” She’ll purr.

When she’s like this, she has a dark look in her eyes. It’s a primal look, and if you glance away too quickly you’ll miss it. She’s likes to fuck you hard during these times, hardly any qualms for your limits.

She’ll always have her handy strap prepared and waiting. Thick and long and heavy. She likes it that way. She likes to feel like the man.

She’ll grin, somewhat cruelly, and her eyes will meet yours in a flirtatious wink. "You like the view, pretty girl?" Sevika asks softly, her hand gently stroking the toy in her hand, like it’s a real dick, getting it all wet with lube. And how could you not? Her cut physic on full display, muscled and scared… so manly.

Sevika will take you through so many positions, you won’t have the energy to roll over in your sleep at night. She’ll take you in missionary first, “Mommy’s gonna break you in now, Baby.” She’ll growl, and she’ll keep her promise, bottoming out in one single thrust. Hard. She loves that look of pain that washes over you. She’ll wrap a hand around your throat and squeeze as she ruts into you.

She’ll fuck you like she hates you, but you know it’s all love when she’s slapping your face, and filling your mouth with her fingers.

And when she thinks that’s not enough? She’ll grip the back of your legs and push them up to your chest, effectively folding you up before drilling into you. She’s got you in a mating press.

And she’ll chuckle away at the tears that form in your eyes, your moans flying out in a mantra. She’ll grin down at you, her lips pulling back into a cocky smirk. "Yeah, good girl.." There’s a lewd slapping that fills the room. "How does that feel, sweet girl?" She’ll ask, sticking her fingers down your throat again, "Is Mommy hitting all the right spots, baby?"

And this’ll go on until she’s made you cum a few times. She likes to watch the expression on your face when you come undone, tears falling from your eyes.

But don’t think your done, no, she’s just getting started.

She’ll pull out and physically toss you over, shoving your head down with brute force and pulling your ass up. She’ll push her dick back in, slowly so you feel it. “S’good right?” She’ll ask, “Mommy filling you up?” and she’s back to drilling you like she never stopped.

She’ll lean over you, wrapping a muscular arm around your throat and putting you in a headlock. She’ll snicker evily in your ear as you cry out at the new angle, “Ohhh, Mommy’s fucking you good, huh? Right there?” She’ll tease, beating that spot in relentlessly.

If you get too loud she’ll have no choice but to squeeze that arm around your throat, snickering at the way you tap at her arm, “So pretty…” She’ll say in your ear, driving her hips into yours, “Tell Mommy how much you love her..”she’ll say, knowing you can’t respond. The drool will run down your chin and she’ll just lick it up, muttering, “Such a messy girl, huh?”

When shes feels her primal needs are satisfied, she’ll return back to that soft, loving “Sevi” that you know. Cleaning you up and giving you kissies. Rubbing all of your sore spots and telling you how much of a good girl you were.

And as you both cuddle in your shared bed, she’ll watch as you fall asleep on her chest, a small smile forming on her lips as she lets herself doze off as well.

please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list to be notified every time i post, xx

[yuansie]

(3) even when there was rain, sunshine came

pairing. caleb x fem! childhood friend! non mc! reader (x childhood bsf! zayne)

synopsis. caleb planted a seed in your heart when you were both young, nurturing it without meaning to until it sprouted and blossomed. it shouldn't have grown this much, not when you knew you could never have him.

genres/aus. angst, fluff, f2l, unrequited love, childhood f2l

warnings. mentions of death, attending (a) funeral(s), lots of crying, reader goes down an emotionally unavailable time period but worry she feels better afterwards, small and and brief mentions of hatred oops, and cursing bc someone now does that double oops! if there's anything i'm missing, please let me know!

rating. pg-13 whoops.

wc. 5 k

a/n. not proof read as always lol also... mayhaps a double update is coming... maybe... also that last bit may be wonky bc obvi i havent graduated from uni yet so ion know how that looks like WHOOPS ❤️‍🔥

your fifteenth spring teaches you the reality of what it is like to truly mourn for someone. the news came to you in the midst of exams week at the aerospace academy, and it came to you in the form of your dad’s lieutenant colonel—his best friend. when you open the door to your dorm, you knew what it meant when you saw the man stand before you, his cap tucked in between his arm and side, his gaze downcast. your ears rang so loudly that you didn’t hear when he apologized.

and the rest of that week went by in a blur.

you took your exams and promptly prepared for the funeral the farspace fleet would give your dad in skyhaven.

it was an odd feeling.

attending your dad’s funeral in skyhaven was like a nightmare, a surreal experience that you wanted to wake up from. you always thought your dad would die of old age and be buried in bloomshore’s cemetery, long after retiring. yet, here you are: at the farspace fleet, watching as the general gave a speech about the brightest alum of the aesrospace academy and the best colonel he had the pleasure of training when he was a lieutenant. honestly, you don’t even pay attention to the old man. you know your mom isn’t either. you pay attention to the casket, the way the polished surface shines brightly against the unforgiving sun.

it’s an odd thing: attending a funeral when there is nothing in the casket.

because your dad died in the deepspace tunnel, the only casualty of the patrol team he was leading. you heard of his pilots’ recounts of the event, heard of it from his second-in-command. everything was normal, everything was going smoothly. then, the space felt weird. everything felt still for a second.

there was a vibration in the air, a low hum that intensified.

“your father gave the order for the patrol team to turn back.” a pause. “we were turning around when a vortex opened and…”

the deepspace tunnel.

what an unpredictable and unforgiving thing.

you blink, and suddenly there are people you’ve never seen before giving you their condolences.

“i’ll be organizing a small funeral for your dad,” your mom mumbles to you in between the shower of apologies you receive and the pitying gazes.

you glance at her. “do you need help?”

she shakes her head. “it’ll be small… just family.”

you suck a breath in and your finger twitches in your lap. “can zayne—”

“his family will be there,” she grabs your hand, giving it a light squeeze. “they’re family, too. do you want caleb there?”

caleb.

there is a tinge of anger that tugs at the strings of your heart, searing ardently within you.

even now, when you think you can move on from the idea of him—the thought of him—he still manages to slither back in some way.

you shake your head. “no. i just want zayne there.”

what’s it to caleb, anyways?

he stopped caring in eighth grade, so he won't care now.

and you don't have time to mourn over a living person who broke your heart.

your mom was quick to organize your dad’s funeral. a week later, while you’re on spring break, you find yourself at the kitchen table with your mom.

“what do you want in the casket?”

you tilt your head at her question. “excuse me?”

she continues filling out some paperwork. “what do you want to put in his casket for tomorrow? i’m putting in his awful collection of vinyls.” she chuckles, but you see the slight tremble in her fingers.

your dad often joked that he’d like to be buried with his vinyls so no one else could have them—he mostly said that because his best friend always eyed them when they were students in the academy.

what do you want to bury?

you think of his cap, the one that sits in your dorm right by the picture of zayne you have on your desk.

“nothing.” you finally say. “i… don’t want to put anything in the casket.”

you want to keep your dad by your side, you don't want to forget him.

“okay.”

and this time around, the funeral feels real.

your throat feels tight, your heart beats faster than usual. the sky weeps along with your heart, you feel like the world is spinning too quickly and that you’re about to sink down.

everything feels like a mess.

your mom stands to your right, her eyes fixed on the casket that’s being lowered into the ground. she moves forward, standing in front of the pit. she says something you cannot hear, kisses the white flower in her hand and lets it fall inside.

a squeeze breaks you out from your daze, warmth seeping into you. from the corner of your eye, zayne nods at you. with a gulp, you take a step forwards, then another until you're in front of the pit. you stare down at the casket.

this is too real.

standing in front of his casket makes it too real.

the man who called you his little star, the man who wasn't always around but tried to be, the man who never read you the classic bedtime stories and instead told you about the different jets in the fleet, the man who made you fall in love with the sky, the man who loved you more than anyone ever will and proudly told you that as if it were an undeniable fact—he is dead.

your dad is actually gone.

dead.

and your knees give out. you’re unsure whether you’ve been crying from the start but you are now: the tears rapidly fall down your cheeks, burning in excruciating pain. you don't care about the mud that gets on your clothes, all you can focus on is that emptiness and pain you feel, the wide hole that sinks into your chest.

a warm hand touches your shoulder, gentle as if to not break you further. arms circle around you, carefully bringing your head into a familiar crook. zayne exhales softly, a hand running up and down the length of your back. the umbrella he held up now lays forgotten on the ground.

“it hurts,” you croak, grabbing a fist full of his coat. “it hurts so much, zayne… make it stop.”

he continues to hold you. “it will hurt for a long time,” he says. “because healing takes a long time. you’ll learn to live with this one day… maybe not now, but one day.”

you can only gasp in response, clinging onto zayne as your sobs begin to take over, your chest rising and falling rapidly. “he’s dead,” you shut your eyes and press yourself closer to zayne, “he’s gone.”

you feel him shake his head. “he isn’t. he lives right,” zayne leans back, the hand that once held your head now pointing at your heart, “in here. he’s always going to be there with you.”

the seasons come and go, the days blur together, and the faces you see everyday you can never put a name to. you talk to your mom every day, and you delude yourself into thinking that clipped responses are better than none at all.

it’s the most you can do, after all.

you talk to zayne less despite having lived in the same city for four years now. you pull away from him slowly, taking small steps away until the gap between you has grown into what it is now: a canyon. the distance was already there when he left, so it shouldn't matter if it's grown more now that you’ve done the same.

and the small girl you left behind? the one who made the sun rise? you haven’t spoken to her once since your dad’s funeral in bloomshore. you didn't even tell her of his passing—you just stopped talking all together, and in between your fresh sorrow and her constant messages, she stopped trying to get a hold of you, as if coming to the slow realization that you're… done.

honestly, you don't blame her for stopping. you were a bitch, the remnants of a heartache mixed with your grief drove you to give her the cold shoulder.

you’ve pushed them all away and locked yourself in the prison that is your fear: the fear of getting too close and experiencing that pain once again.

because you don't think you can allow yourself to mourn for the dead ever again.

the seasons come and go, the days blur together, and somehow you’re a week away from graduating. you’re surprised the academy even let you get this far—after all, your score on that exam was just fine.

the heat of summer is unforgiving: it beats down on your back as you climb down the jet, the sweltering heat making you take quick strides across the practice field, unfastening your helmet with a flicker of your hand. you’re practically booking it towards the locker room.

“how are you feeling, miss valedictorian?” a classmate runs up to your side, matching your quick pace. “you got your speech ready?”

you don’t spare a glance and continue walking. “i have everything ready.”

they whistle. “wow,” they awe, “that’s our legendary miss valedictorian for you.”

the title makes you roll your eyes. “i thought i told all of you to quit it with that.”

they shrug, still following you as you enter the locker room. “everyone knows it’s true. even the academy praises you.”

the prodigy of the aerospace academy, y/n l/n.

just like your dad.

you tune out the voice of your classmate, getting rid of your flight suit and equipment, and storing it neatly inside of your locker. you adjust your clothes just as fast before you're out the door, already heading towards the gates. there’s a man that stands not too far from you, his back towards you. there’s also a girl talking to one of the guards nearest to you, though you can't see her as the guard covers her from your line of sight.

you aren't even a step outside when a hand latches around your wrist, and you freeze because you know who it is.

how could you not? his warmth is so familiar to you, even after all this time.

what surprises you the most is the fact that he's here. why is he here? he lives so far away from the academy. how is he here?

he says your name quietly. “we… should talk.”

your heart lurches, but still you don’t pull away. “i thought you were busy with med school...”

you can practically hear the way zayne raises a brow at your words.

“how would you know?” he asks, his tone void of any real malice—just pure curiosity. “we haven't talked since august.”

“i… go through your moments… sometimes…” you mumble in embarrassment, “you were studying not too long ago, right?”

his hold on your wrist loosens and tightens at the same time, his touch hesitant. he wants to hold on tighter, but is unable to. zayne holds your wrist gently, thinking as if you are to crumble if he were to hold on any tighter. he breathes slowly, “can we talk?” he quickly adds on, “privately?”

you nod and grab his hand, leading him to your apartment.

and as you walk away, you don't hear the call of a familiar name.

“pips!”

you awkwardly sit next to zayne in your living room, knees touching. your leg bounces, and you refuse to look at the older male.

zayne wordlessly places a hand down on your knee, stopping it from moving. “…there’s no need to be nervous.”

“there kind of is,” you grumble. “i didn’t think you’d ever visit me over…”

the distance, you want to say, but the words lodge themselves in your throat. you tap your finger against your leg now.

he hums. “well, i wouldn’t be here in the first place had you not started to pull away.” zayne breathes in slowly, carefully grabbing your hand in his. “i don’t blame you for anything. i just… want you to know that i’m always here. it doesn’t matter if you start pulling away because i’ll just follow you. i just want you to know that.”

you grip his hand at his words. “i’m a terrible friend,” you mumble. “how can you not blame me for this? how can you even say that?”

“because you’re still mourning,” he replies. “i know you—that means i also know how much your dad means to you.”

means—present.

not meant—past tense.

because you still miss your dad. you miss the summer days in verona where he’d carry you on his shoulders. you miss when he would talk to you about the new jets on his fleet. you mourn not only him, but the future you never got to live with him. he was supposed to watch you graduate, watch you work your way up in the ranks of the fleet—his fleet, he was supposed to be there when you ask him for love advice, he was supposed to help you move into your apartment after freshman year at the dorms and haul everything inside because he would never let his little star move a muscle.

“but i should be over his…” death. you still hate saying that stupid word. “but instead, i’ve let it consume me. you don’t blame me for that? for letting my fears influence me?”

you know that zayne knows: you pulled away because you’re afraid of losing him like you did with your dad. you’ve thought about it, about a world without him, when your mind can’t rest during the late hours of the night. each time you would end up silently weeping. there are no words to describe a world without him in it.

“of course not.” he knows. “i understand.” he always does. “i can’t make promises that i don't know if i’ll be able to keep because the future is unpredictable, but i can promise to take care of myself for you to ease your worries.”

and just like that, the knots in your chest untangle themselves. your shoulders no longer feel heavy, and you can breathe for the first time in a long time.

“you…” you tilt your head to look him. “you’re too good to me, zayne li.”

“i’m supposed to be good to you,” he lets out an amused chuckle. you take in how he looks now, how he looks older and more mature, how his hazel eyes have more brown in them than green hues right now, how his lips are curved upwards just the slightest bit. “i’m your best friend, you know?”

the book you had been reading for the month lays discarded on your chest, your back on your bed as you cover your mouth, shoulders shaking. zayne stares at you with a deadpan on his features. “you still haven’t made any friends?”

he gives you a pointed look from his sitting position against the bedframe. “have you made any friends?”

you stick your tongue out at him. “touché.”

zayne blinks once before leaning forwards to pinch your cheek, stretching the skin out. you furrow your brows and flick his wrist. “what are you doing?”

the corner of his lip lifts. “pinching your cheek.”

“no shit,” you scoff, huffing through your nose in amusement when his hazel eyes widen at your words. “what? don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming?”

he clears his throat and lets go of your cheek. “i certainly didn’t expect such a colorful word to be a part of your… everyday vocabulary.”

you shrug and roll off the bed. “the officers have a nasty influence on first years,” you scrunch your nose, “even worse when flight training starts. they just bitch about everything.” you sigh, “obviously, i don’t speak like this to the officers… or anyone.”

“then why say it around me?”

“because i don’t have anything to hide from you,” you reply, “i tell you everything. i’m always going to be the most relaxed around you—that won’t ever change.”

zayne smiles, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “you don’t tell me everything.”

you purse your lips. “yes, i do. i—”

“you never told me you liked caleb,” the smile still doesn’t leave his lips, and you tense at the statement. “but i knew that you did.”

you blink a couple of times.

the stupid kiss.

you never told him about what caleb did on the night of his fourteenth birthday. you didn’t tell him of the pain.

and you won’t tell anyone; no living soul will ever know.

looking away from him, your gaze falls on the snow globe on your nightstand. “and you never told me you liked her, but i knew you did.”

“i don't.”

your eyes go back to him, watching as he takes his glasses off. “i don’t like her… maybe i never did.” the last bit was quiet enough that you almost didn’t hear. before you can question him, he looks up and eyes your neck. a finger comes up to point at his own. “you don’t wear it anymore.” you know what he’s referring to.

you think to the box that sits underneath your bed in your mom’s house: the box that holds everything related to him—the pictures, the necklace, the notes and the doodles and the paper airplanes… everything. “i threw it away as soon as i left for skyhaven.”

the male hums. “is that so?”

you nod. “yeah,” you breathe out.

there was no point in bringing a piece of caleb with you when all you wanted was to forget him.

“it’s getting late,” zayne mumbles. “you have a spare room, right?”

“about that…”

zayne stares at the empty room you show him down the hallway from your room. he turns his head towards you. “why… is it empty?”

“i’m the one doing the visiting,” you say, “not the other way around. i found no need to set up the spare room…”

“i see…”

you smile at him, “we can sleep in the same bed.”

he furrows his eyebrows, mouth slightly agape. “what?”

“c’mon!” you nudge his shoulder. “it’ll be like old times!”

zayne sighs and pinches his nose. “you are a woman, and i am a man.”

“…and?” you raise an eyebrow at him. “are you saying you’re going to eat me up or something? should i be worried?”

“of course not,” he says quickly. there’s a slight frown on him that confuses you. “but… am i not a man to you?”

“of course you are,” you answer, leaning forwards. you reach out and grab onto his cheek, pinching it. “but i trust you enough to not do anything.”

“…i see.”

there were no classes for the rest of the week for the graduating class, meaning you no longer had to wake up in the crack ass of dawn to get ready. unfortunately, habits are hard to die, so despite having turned off your alarm, your mind wakes you up when the sky is a faded, dark blue. immediately, your mood sours as you stare up at the ceiling.

you lay in your bed for a fee seconds longer when you’re suddenly aware that your right side is empty and cold. with a yawn, your cold feet hit the ground as you stand up and quietly search for your missing friend.

zayne lifts his brows when you walk into the living room, his glasses sliding down the slope of his nose. “did i wake you?”

you shake your head, padding over to where he sits on the couch. the cushion sinks when you sit down, your head immediately falling on his shoulder. “i’m used to waking up at this hour…” you squint at his hands. “are you studying?”

he nods, ready to say something but the word die at the tip of his tongue. zayne watches curiously at your outstretched hand that open and close repeatedly.

“give me your notebook.”

he does so without any complaint. you scan the contents quickly, gaze flitting up to him afterwards. “i’ll help you study.”

zayne chuckles softly, and shakes his head. “i appreciate that, but you should sleep some more.”

“i’m already up,” you say through squinted eyes. “besides, it’ll be like old times.”

“ah yes,” he hums, nodding once, “back when you were in middle school and i helped you study.”

except you never actually studied. zayne would read the questions out loud once, you would answer perfectly, and then you would decide enough was enough before spending the rest of your time reading with him.

friday morning comes in the form of a quiet and empty room.

when you wake up, your left side is empty once again. in the span of the week, you’ve come to learn that zayne has the habit of waking up earlier than you do. sometimes he’s up an hour before you, other times it’s half an hour.

you breathe in and exhale slowly, blink once at the roof and then stand up. the drowsiness leaves your body as you begin to get ready: you brush your teeth and splash cold water on your face before wiping it away, you put your uniform on, you comb through the knots in your hair, and you place your cap on your head. your eyes move towards your desk, eyeing the black cap that sits on it.

you’ll be able to wear it soon.

you slip your socks on, and move into the living room. zayne sits at the table, his laptop open in front of him as he highlights something on his notebook. he looks up, his hazel gaze locking with yours. he gestures at the steaming cup of coffee in front of the chair next to him, and you head towards it.

“i thought your graduation was at nine,” he says, eyes going back to his laptop. “why are you already ready?”

“force of habit,” you shrug, grabbing the cub. the warmth seeps into your fingertips, and you raise it to your lips, pausing, “and my class has to practice once before the ceremony. we’re supposed to be there an hour from now... head for breakfast afterwards,” you snort and shake your head, eyes narrowing in mirth, “someone called it brunch in the group chat. another person called them a dumbass.”

zayne’s lips quirk upwards as you finally take a sip from your cup. he watches you with a quiet intensity, one that somehow warms up the tips of your ears, yet you tell yourself to not dwell on it because he’s just zayne, the boy you grew up with.

“you sound happy.”

you bring the cup down to rest on the table. “i am,” you breathe out.

the rest of your time before heading to the academy is spent by quizzing zayne. he answers everything perfectly, and you promptly congratulate him every time, to which he huffs a laugh through his nose. when it’s time for you to leave, he offers to give you a ride and you accept.

his car is, as always, clean. it looks like it just had the day he bought—you were with him as he walked around the dealership, scrutinizing every car and analyzing every thing he learned about them until he found one he liked. it took almost two hours, and you were tired as hell, but it was worth it. he drove you to a small cafe afterwards, his treat. and though you were still mourning for your dad, despite it having been a year later, that day you felt the first semblance of normality.

the car comes to a stop, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“i’ll see you later,” says zayne.

you give him a smile. “yeah, see you later.” when you open the door, he grabs onto your wrist. you look back.

“you’ll be free afterwards, right?”

“well, i know that there’ll be a party to celebrate… but that’s in the evening, like at nine.”

he nods. “good.”

zayne doesn't say anything afterwards and only bids you goodbye, promising to see you in a few hours. with a small wave, you watch as he drives off, leaving you alone at the gates. you breathe in slowly and exhale.

you take a step back, twist around and begin to walk to the gates when you suddenly stumble forwards, your cap falling off your head and landing on the ground with a thud.

“shoot! i’m so sorry about that!” a voice rings out from behind you.

with a sigh, you lean down to pick up your cap, dusting it off. you glance behind you: there's two, tall guys. one has short hair, and he has his friend in a headlock. the one in a headlock has brown hair, bangs covering his face from your judging eyes. you turn to face them.

“my friend here sure is clumsy,” the guy laughs, tightening his hold on the hunched over friend. the friend grunts in response, trying to pry off the arm around his shoulder. “oh shit,” the guy gasps, seemingly having realized something. “you’re a graduating senior?”

“that’s right,” you say.

the guy beams, his free arm stretching out towards you. “congrats, senior!”

his enthusiasm brings a small smile to your lips, and you give him a firm handshake. “thank you.”

“caleb,” the boy snaps his head towards his friend in the chokehold. “i can’t believe your clumsy ass bumped into our senior!”

the name makes your smile curl downwards.

“ah, senior! don’t tell me we upset you!” the other boy panics.

you shake your head, eyes closed. “no,” you grimace, “but i do have to get going.” you put the cap back on your head, and with a small wave, you walk away.

“caleb, why the hell are you staring? show some respect!”

caleb.

what a way to sour your mood.

the practice was chaotic, to say the least. after you dropped a bomb on them with the salutatorian, everyone began to shout questions directed at the two of you. you got so fed up you yelled at them to shut up or else you wouldn’t go to breakfast with them afterwards.

which leads you to now.

you sit at a table with your classmates, all of them staring at you.

“…so, i didn’t want to give the speech,” you shrug and poke at the food in your plate. “big deal.”

“but why?” someone asks, followed by a quick no offense to the salutatorian.

“they have more memories with the whole class,” you answer. “it didn’t feel right for me to be up on stage and give a big speech on memories and stuff. made more sense for someone who actually spent time with the class to do it.”

when you look up from your plate, you see that everyone’s mouth are wide open.

“…what?” you grimace. “did i say something wrong?”

“you’re surprisingly cool.” someone says.

their comment makes you snort. “very cool of me to do that, huh.”

someone ends up pointing at you. “you just laughed.”

chaos erupts once again.

“holy shit, she just laughed for once!”

“knock it off before i regret being here,” you give everyone a pointed look.

they all still, mumbling apologies. in the next second, everyone starts talking and taking turns to ask you questions.

surprisingly, you don’t mind the attention. you don't mind talking to your classmates like this; in fact, now there’s a tinge of sadness that settles into your chest.

you should have talked to them more.

you swear you see the person siting next to you start crying during the salutatorian's speech.

as you stand at your assigned spot, hands holding your diploma behind your back, you see the same person start to cry harder once they’re tapped out by their family, their rigid posture crumbling.

your eyes rake over what you can see: there’s people waiting to be tapped out, some are crying, some are laughing and happy. and then you see him.

zayne naturally stands out: tall and lean, a head above the shorter crowd. the sight is comical, making you puff out your cheeks in an attempt to not laugh. he stops a few steps away, takes his phone and snaps a picture of you, all the while having an arm behind his back.

“you blinked,” he hums once he stands in front of you.

you narrow your eyes slightly at him.

with a chuckle, zayne taps your shoulder, his touch warm despite the layers of your uniform that separates your skin from his. your posture relaxes, the rigidness melting away as your lips curl upwards. he brings a small bouquet of flowers, not flashy like the ones some of your classmates are receiving. a few hyacinths and irises, their blues like the color of the sky you love, held together by a white bow tied around the stems.

“congratulations, y/n.”

you take the bouquet from him, and look at him, the small smile you had now a grin. zayne’s eyes look like a light green underneath the harsh glow of the sun, much like the green hues of the gemstone aventurine, with small specks of amber in them.

he takes a step forwards, arms slowly wrapping themselves around your form. your cap almost falls off as your throw your arm around his shoulder, the bouquet clutched tightly as your free hand flies to keep your cap against your head. laughter bubbles from your chest and falls from your lips, loud and cheerful for the first time in a while.

“thank you.”

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[lucidfairies]

— prey

synopsis: 1 Corinthians 6:18 states that one must flee from sexual immortality, but it's hard to flee from something that is forever chasing you.

pairing: priest!sevika x semi-religious!reader

warnings: religion as part of the main plot, fun mix of Catholic branches, age gap, light angst at the end, bottom!reader, top!sevika, virgin!reader for religious reasons, perv!sevika, massive corruption kink, mean!sev, pet names (little lamb, lamb, pretty, baby), hand/arm kink, humiliation kink, praise kink, reader masturbation mentioned, pillow humping mentioned, cunnilingus, fingering, fucking in a church, degradation, sub headspace if you squint, spanking, pussy slaps, crying, eating it from the back + through panties

wc: 7.7k

a/n: please read the disclaimer that has already been published! all the thanks in the world to my girl @sevsgiirl ❤ they helped me so so much per usual and I'm their biggest fan.l

Oh forgive me if I love being bad for you.

Your mama always said that being good would get you to far, far places. She said that every man and every job and every opportunity admired a good woman. And so, you were. You were the perfect, thriving, glowing definition of good. Stunning grades, sports, church on Sunday. You talked to God like he was your best friend, and for a time, he was. She was right, too. People did admire you for your perfection. But it wasn’t long before the cracks started shining a bit brighter, and you realized that maybe this wasn’t the life for you.

“You be safe, okay?” Your mom rubbed her hands down your arms, pulling you in for a tight hug. “Oh, I don’t want to let you go!” She squeezed harder, holding you there like a lifeline. “Now listen, I already called some friends in town and of course, prayed over your new apartment. God is watching, he’s here with you-”

“Mom,” you interjected. “I know. I’m an adult, I’m ready for this. I’ll be just fine.” Her eyes welled with tears, pulling you back into a hug. Your dad walked over, wiping his hands on his pants and smiling. He was finished loading the car, which meant that you had a steady escape from your mother’s spiraling.

“Well, time to send you off, kiddo.” He opened his arms and you attached from your velcro mom, shifting your attention to your father. He didn’t squeeze you like it would keep you here, he held you and let you go, knowing that it was time. “Bye sweetheart, we love you.” You waved to the both of them as you got in the car, wasting no time before clicking your seatbelt in and driving off. This was it.

Your parents' relationship with religion wasn’t one that you saw very frequently. None of your other friends had parents that obsessed over your entire life, always dragging you back to God. Not even your friends from church. They used God to tell you what to say, how to dress, how to act. Everything was done in the eyes of God, and at times, it was crushing.

So, when your Mother texted you the name of a priest she knew in your new town, you swiped away the notification and let it sit in your inbox for weeks. You were convinced that, if you ignored it, you wouldn’t live a life that they controlled any longer. Even after you turned eighteen, went to the local college, made new friends. They still had a full hold on everything you did. Now, five hours away, you were free!

Your first day in town you wore a crop top - one that your mother took from you and hid in her closet years ago. She made you pray for days and ask God for forgiveness for something so sinful, so immodest. You felt terrible afterwards, and only wore things that covered everything but your wrists and ankles, absolutely convinced that you betrayed God with the shirt. But it didn’t, and it wasn’t, and when you wore it then, it fit you well, made you feel pretty.

God, did you feel so free.

Your mother checked in on your daily, but you only replied to a handful of them. When you told them that you had plans to move to the gayest part of the country, they all but freaked out, sure that you would come home transgender, or worse, gay. What on earth were they to do with a gay daughter? It wasn’t God’s commandment to be gay, and the thought of you as a gay had your mother’s mind spinning. You were sure you saw her life flash before her eyes when you told them.

You wouldn’t pretend that the town was out of your comfort zone. There were so many people compared to your small town, you couldn’t even understand how so many people lived in the same place. That being said, it felt, to you, like everyone was a model. There were so many faces that you had never seen before, so many identities and styles.

It wasn’t until the end of your first month that you ran into your first problem.

You found a coffee shop that you enjoyed, and began frequenting it. But, when they hired a new, tall, buff, female barista, you found yourself there more often than not. You were undeniably drawn to her, found yourself thinking of her when you shouldn’t be and striking up conversation with her like some kind of lovestruck fool.

Then, of course, the thoughts began creeping in. Terrible thoughts, about her voice and her arms and her fingers. All while you did terrible things to yourself - with God watching. You were screwed. The woman lived in your mind all the time, everywhere you went and everything you did. Every night before you went to bed, thoughts driven by lust guided you. You knew then that you would have to take your mother up on her priest offer.

The church was large, on the outskirts of the city. It had beautiful panels and stained glass windows that light poured through gorgeously. You followed the line of people, joining them in waiting to confess. Even if you had never been to this church or knew these people, they were kind to you. You had to tell someone, and if a priest that your mother heard was good had to be it, then she was it.

The booth was cramped when you stepped in and took your seat. You face forward, as one does, and placed your hands in your lap, waiting. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been three months since my last confession,” you started, “I’ve never been to this church, and I’m new in town. I… I’ve been struggling with some lustful thoughts.. about women,” the words felt like dirt coming out of your mouth.

“Go on,” the priest spoke, and the voice was warm and thick and held you there like honey.

“Well, I haven’t exactly acted on them, but I have, um, touched myself thinking about… a woman.” The priest hummed and sat in silence for a moment, calculating. You were red with embarrassment, confessing something that went so against everything you had learned growing up.

“Was it one woman specifically, or have you had these tempting thoughts about several women?” The priest asked. You sat with yourself, pondering whether or not you had ever had those thoughts before. Well, maybe you had.

“There was a girl when I was younger. My thoughts weren’t driven by lust but I thought of what life would be like with her. This woman is so.. different. I’ve never done anything with anyone, I’ve never had such filthy thoughts about anyone before, especially not a woman.” You whispered the last word, as if it would change anything.

“Everyone struggles with temptation at some point in their lives. I myself have struggled with sexual temptation to the same sex. But, what’s important is that you didn’t act on these thoughts outside of your body. If you feel driven, you have this space to share your thoughts. If not, I can bless you and provide you with your penance.” You pondered, once again. This was a stranger. What if this priest wasn’t as good as your mother claimed?

“Well… I thought of her performing.. sexual acts on me. With her fingers and her mouth. Saying dirty, terrible things to me. I don’t know anything of lesbian sex, I don’t even know where these thoughts came from.” You felt like crawling into a ball and just sitting there with your thoughts.

“In God’s name, I grant you forgiveness for your sins,” you released a breath. “I order you to fast for the next week, read your Bible, and return next week. In Jesus’ name we pray and forgive, Amen.” You said Amen, letting the priests’ words sink into your skin. You would fast, intermittently as instructed, but you weren’t sure how abstaining from food would remove the desires that you weren’t even sure you wanted to be rid of.

“You have a very kind voice,” you said quietly. “Thank you kindly, Father.” You spoke, southern charm briefly snaking its way into your vocabulary. You left the booth, feeling as if every eye in the room was digging into you, even though the booth is soundproofed. Like they knew that you were full of it, that you didn’t want to get better. All you wanted was to uphold your perfect little image. God didn’t have a place in your life.

It wasn’t until the following week that you were sure God wouldn’t ever forgive you.

The week had been long, almost torturous. Going without food didn’t feel like a penance, it just felt like work. You didn’t feel any more connected to God than you did the previous week, and all you were getting out of it was fatigue and falling asleep at work. Your bible did nothing, praying did nothing. You felt like none of it was ever going to cure you.

When you arrived at the church one week after you first stood there, you had no idea what to say to the Reverend. Would you say that you didn’t want to give up your sin, that you didn’t care what God thought? That what you were instructed to do wasn’t working, and the orders were wrong?

The church was empty when you stepped in, and it was daunting. It made the room look larger, the ceilings look taller, the rows of pews doubling as you walked closer to the front. Nobody was there, and you were sure that you did something wrong. Maybe you got the date wrong, maybe this was a fever dream, or a test from God.

You looked around, taking in every aspect of the church. The stained glass windows bared their blooming colors down onto your skin, changing it to shades of purple and green and blue. The room was warm, welcoming even. But that didn’t change the fact that it didn’t feel right. None of this was right.

Someone cleared their throat and you whipped back around to the front, taking in the person before you. It was a woman, but not a woman that looked like any other you had seen before in your entire life. She had short hair, cropped at the ear, and the shadow cast across her face made her grey eyes gleam. She was one hell of a sight.

That was when you knew.

“May I help you?” She asked, and you immediately recognized the voice. This was the priest that you spoke to last week, when you recited every thought that was currently resurrecting in your brain.

“I’m here for confession, I think,” you said quietly, slightly embarrassed as it appeared the event was cancelled. “I may be in the wrong place, I just moved here. Are you the Reverend?” She smiled, setting aside what she was doing.

“Yes ma’am. I’m sorry you couldn’t join us on Sunday, I announced then that this week’s confession had to be cancelled. But, I’m not busy if you want to talk. I’m Sevika,” she leaned against a railing that divided the altar and the nave, offering a hand for you to shake. “Have you confessed before?”

Sevika knew the answer. She knew the moment she saw you, the way you spoke, the look in your eyes. You were the woman from last week, who told her about your sexual desire for women. She was sure, now that she saw your face, that she would never forget you. There was a breathtaking person behind the filthy confessions, and it made her mind wander to places God would frown upon.

“Yes, last week, I was told to come back this week. I found that what I was ordered to do hasn’t been working. I still feel the way I did last week.” You huffed. She gestured to a pew and you followed her, taking your seat beside her.

She was so close, too close. Her knee pressed against your own, and you could basically hear the sound of her breathing. She was warm beside you, and her entire person drew you in, causing a lack of disconnect for the disgusting thoughts in your head. There were so many things. Her hands were huge, and the material of her black shirt stretched thin around her bicep. You were dying to see what was under the shirt, and if it was as tempting as it appeared to be. And then, of course, you were smacked in the face with the reminder of the fact that she was your future Reverend.

“Since we’re alone, do you feel compelled to remind me of your confession?” You shifted nervously, confessing out of the booth making you feel as if God had a better watch on you. Maybe you weren’t ready for this; maybe you didn’t want to change.

“Well.. it was about lust, and, um, other women. I’ve been having some thoughts about what it would be like to, maybe, indulge in.. sexual acts.. with other women. I think a lot about hands and voices, and..” you trailed off as your eyes slowly painted their way from the tips of her fingers, across her arm, up her neck, and all the way back to her eyes.

Sevika was good at hiding whatever she was thinking. She was desperate to know every thought that you had, pick apart that pretty little head until she had you in a perfect, open position. But she didn’t. “Is that so?” She hummed. Your thighs rubbed together as a familiar feeling rose between them - except this time, it was brought upon by another person, and not your own thoughts. “I remember you, now. Tell me why you don’t think your penance is working.”

You forced your brain to come back into the moment. “I made my fast, as instructed, and I prayed. I read my Bible every night, cover to cover. But.. it still doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel fixed. I’m still having these thoughts even when I don’t want to have them. They just creep up on me and take my mind under control.”

“Healing doesn’t happen overnight, lamb,” she watched your pupils dilate, and an ever so slight change in the pace of your breath. “It takes time. Once you open your heart and mind to God, He will take His time healing you. He doesn’t make mistakes.” You looked up at her, realizing then that she was dramatically taller than you, even when sitting.

“Reverend,” your gaze fell once again, this time focusing on your hands in your lap. “What if.. what if I don’t want to get better? A part of me wants to walk out of this church and never return. What if I like these thoughts, and I like what I’ve come up with? What if I want it to happen to me?” You thought back to the barista, who hadn’t even wandered into your mind since you got here. It was like she meant nothing any more, now that you had such a woman in front of you.

“My previous statement still applies. Moving away from the temptation of sin and sin itself comes with time,” she turned to you, placing a hand on your knee. “Inherently, your thoughts are not sin. They only become sin when you act on them.”

“Does touching myself count as acting on them?” God, her mind was racing.

“God never says that pleasuring yourself is a sin, but your thoughts leading up to doing such are what makes it a sin. If your fantasies include other women and doing sexual things with them rather than, let's say doing it to aid period cramps, then it turns into falling into temptation.” You nodded, taking in her words. You knew the answer, but you still didn’t feel bad.

“Thank you, Sevika. Would you be willing to offer me further penance?” She smiled, letting out a quick chuckle.

“I’m going to order you a personal one, and a church related one,” you met her eyes, scanning the depths of her face. You never wanted to forget it. “Though I’m not sure how often you do it, I want you to restrict touching yourself to the best of your ability, and I want you to continue your fast. Now, in Jesus’ name we pray, Amen,” you repeated her Amen, “return next week, or join us for church. We have a Wednesday night session at eight this week, if you’d like to attend.”

“I just might.” Your eyes were practically glued to hers, unrelenting. You needed to learn her, know every crook and crevice in her face. Every color in her eyes, and every wrinkle that found its way onto her aging face. “I’ll see you on Wednesday, Reverend. Thank you.” You stood with her and pulled her into your arms without thinking. You reached as far up onto your tippy-toes as you could, and the poor woman still had to bend to reach you.

“Have a good night, little lamb.” Her hands slid off your waist as you pulled away, walking away and leaving the church with your head in a daze.

You found yourself trapped in her daze until you were back to your apartment. Everything about her beyond fascinated you. There was a small color shift in her eyes, a haze of blue and dark grey that mixed together to create the most perfect color, dressed with growing crows feet in the corners, that pulled when she smiled. Her nose was large and round and stapled her face in a beautiful way, almost touched by a large scar that found its way down her cheek and neck.

You wondered how far the scar went, underneath her clerical collar. If it touched her chest, or found its way to her stomach, all the places you were desperate to see. Desperate, that was the word for you. Desperate to know the shade of her lips, and the way they felt on yours. Desperate to know how she spoke out of uniform, the things she liked to do.

Wednesday service was going to be unbearable.

Sevika was in a position similar to yours, but she liked the idea that she had the upper hand. She liked how you looked at her, and the way your thighs rubbed together ever so gently at the names she called you. She knew you didn’t want to get better, and she knew you wouldn’t. Not when you sat in the church, squirming and eyeing her arm like a slut.

But it also meant that she had you. If she wanted you, wanted to break her oath and ruin her purity for you, she could. You would let her. There wasn’t an inch of your body that would put God before her if she asked. She knew you were thinking the same things about her fingers and her mouth as you were about whatever woman drove you to come in the first place.

She never considered herself a particularly observant person, but the way she noticed the shift in your eyes, from good to bad, and the way you listened to her, patiently, she may have to start using the title. You were practically pliable, ready to be morphed into what she wanted from you.

She would never forget the words touching yourself leaving your mouth. She could imagine it, truly. See your hand sliding over your stomach and over your panties, rubbing your clit like it was enough. Refusing to fuck yourself on your fingers, afraid of what God might think. And when it wasn’t enough, she could see you sitting pretty on one of your pillows humping yourself on it like a dog, chasing any feeling of pleasure that you could derive from it. She could envision you like she was watching you on video.

Sevika was absolutely dripping wet in her living room, where she let her thoughts run several minutes ago. This was the first time anything of this sort had happened to her in years - she never thought like this, and was never this driven to act on it. Guilt overrode any substantial plans of finding the vibrator stuffed away in her closet.

No matter what happened, you were both fucked.

-

You let weeks pass. You had to. There was no way you could step into a house of God with her in it and pretend that you didn’t crave her from the depths of your skin. There was no use pretending anymore, not when thoughts of her crept into your mind at all times of the day, everyday, for the last two weeks. You were waiting for them to subside before going to the church, even thought about going to a different church to try and improve your thoughts.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help. The longer you were away from her, the stronger the thoughts grew. You had to go back. Somewhere, deep inside, you thought that if you went to the church, watched her preach about God, what she knew best, you would be relieved of the things holding you back.

And so, you got home from work, dressed nice, and prepared to go to church. The only thing your mother gifted you before you left was a rosary - it was beaded in red, with the equipment matching in gold. You wore it around your neck, the first time you had bothered taking it out of the box since she gave it to you, like it would save you. It wasn’t going to.

None of your thoughts about going to the church revolved around anything inappropriate. Sevika knew that, she knew it when you walked in quietly, five minutes before her sermon began. She knew when you sat in the front, and closed your eyes, letting her words melt into you while the rosary clung tight to your palm burned your skin. You were here for a reason that wasn’t known to your sweet little brain yet.

You were such a pretty thing, sitting there proper in a skirt that dusted your ankles and a headband that matched. Her eyes found you in the crowd every time she lifted her gaze from the holy book before her to the crowd. It wasn’t busy late on a Wednesday night, and she knew that’s why you were here. There were less suspecting eyes, less people to grow weary of an unfamiliar face amongst them.

Most importantly, there were less people that knew.

It wasn’t obvious to everyone, but someone in the crowd, you were sure, knew that you were thinking a grand scheme of unholy things about the reverend. You couldn’t stand it, these thoughts. You tried to convince yourself that she wasn’t looking at you when she preached, but the way her dark eyes drilled into your own when she read a verse forced your thoughts otherwise. When the service was over, you were going to bult. You couldn’t stay, couldn’t ever come back.

This was the end of your time as a Catholic. You had disappointed God far too much.

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the end of our service tonight, I want to talk about something that many of us in the crowd know and love,” Sevika smirked, “all of our married folk in the room, as I send you off tonight, I want all of y’all to remember that God calls us to enjoy and place importance in our relationships with sex,” there were hoots and hollers throughout the hall. “So I ask, in the name of God, have some fun between this service and our Sunday service. Let’s end with a prayer.”

Sevika began her prayer, but your mind was focused on her encouragement of sex. It made you wonder if Sevika was married, and if everything you had created in your head was just that - a creation. Fake. If you imagined the way she looked at you and the names she called you. It wasn’t real.

You had almost made your escape from the church without having to speak to her before you were cornered. Of course. Every priest did this. They bid farewell to those leaving the church at the end of the service, shaking hands and kissing babies, encouraging the group to return the following Sunday.

And like every other, she did it to you. “Thought I’d never see you again, peach.” She chuckled. Like a puppy, you were drawn to her as the stranglers made their way out. “Walk with me,” you did as told, following by her side as you walked back up the aisle towards the altar. “Did you enjoy the service?” You contemplated giving a half-assed answer, anything that could get you out of this church as quickly as possible.

“Yes, it was nice to sit in on a service again. It’s been a while. Speaking of which-” you tried, once again, to get away, the outcome reflecting similarly to the first time.

“Will you be joining us on Sunday?” Sevika was doing everything in her power to get you to stay. The more she talked to you, the more she asked, she knew you would. Pliant. It was a phenomenal word for you. So… flexible. Willing, even. With the way your eyes widened with every word she said, lips parting and cheeks reddening like she was the most fascinating thing on earth… it was easy. You were easy.

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able.” It felt like lying. The short answer was no, and the long answer was no, you couldn’t ever step foot into this church again without the fear of God coming down and smiting you himself. Telling her that you may have plans wasn’t a lie, simply an aversion to the harsh truth.

“Well if you can, we’d love to have you. You make a great audience member.” You stopped dead in your tracks, still. Hopefully she didn’t notice. The comment was clearly an innuendo, hinting at the way your thighs pushed together under your skirt and the way your hands bunched up the material every time you thought she looked your way.

“That’s kind of you to say,” your fingertips smoothed over the rosary around your neck, drawing her eyes to the spot on accident. She was good at watching you, and you were aware. She took a step closer to you, entering your personal space. She wasn’t far - close enough that you could smell the cologne she had on. It was a musky mix of wood and something deep, and you let your eyes flutter closed.

“Is this new?” She asked, large fingers finding the piece like a feather. You were burning now, burning like you were floating in front of the sun itself. She could inevitably feel the temperature of your skin and the rapid pace of your heart, and feel it she did.

“No,” you whispered back, “my mother gifted it to me before I left.” Your eyes were squeezed shut tighter than they had been for the extent of your life.

“Do you pray to it every night? You feel saved yet, pretty?” She pushed further, seeing how much you would take before you snapped out of it and left, never to be seen by her again. You were pretty. The prettiest girl she’d ever seen, will ever see. It was only her duty to tell you that.

“No.” You opened your eyes, meeting hers and immediately realizing her closeness. “In fact, I think I may try a new church, one that feels more right.” You felt weak, trying to pretend to be strong. But her proximity to you, her smell, her hand still rubbing over the cross, it was all too much to be strong.

“Are you now?” Sevika was amused by this, especially knowing that nothing would tear you away from the things you felt about her. “Why’s that, lamb? Something I should know about in my church that’s bothering you?” You sighed, frustrated and turned on more than you’d like to admit.

“I feel as if your penances aren’t working, nothing has changed. And you..” She cut off the end of your sentence, abruptly.

“Me?” She asked in a playful tone, like she knew this was working. Like she knew that heat was pooling in your belly and your panties were wet.

“You’re distracting me. From being saved.” She smirked, stepping even further into your space. You backed up, not going far before your back hit the railing that divided the ambo and the crossing. You were stuck between her and the railing, but there was nothing to object. Not now. Her knuckles ran down your bare chest until they reached the start of your top, where she switched to her fingers.

Leaning in, with her fingertips running down your side, she spoke. “No, little lamb,” she leaned in, mouth finding the shell of your ear. “You just don’t want to be.” Her hand fastened around your hip, pushing it into the railing. “In fact, with all of these thoughts of yours, I don’t even know if God can save you.”

“I don’t.. I don’t know what you want me to say to that.” You pouted. You weren’t exactly scared, at the moment, but something else was creeping up inside of you. She had the means and opportunity to do absolutely whatever she wanted to you, right now. And the worst, most gut wrenching part of all of it, is that you’d say yes.

“Give in.” The moment your eyes met hers, her lips were slamming into your own.

Kissing her was like kissing an angel. You had kissed plenty of boys in your life, but where their spit and shitty tongue turned you off, Sevika’s bruising force and toe-curling kisses turned you on. She pressed her lips into you with fervor, chasing every feeling she could get out of you, and you didn’t resist.

It was terrible, truly, how you let her do it. Let her suck your tongue into her mouth and wrap her large hand around your throat. Awful. Ungodly. It would be best if you pushed her away and ran out of the church, chasing your dignity that seemingly flew out the stained-glass window. But it was so fucking good.

She was so much bigger than you, also. There was no way that you could escape from her now, not like this. Not when your mind was spinning and your legs were about to let out, all from a kiss. All from her hands on your hips and her warm body pressed to yours. And when she pulled away, looking at you darkly like her next meal, you couldn’t help but let out a pathetic noise, and she smirked.

“This is wrong,” you insisted, but your grip on the front of her gown didn’t cease. “This isn’t good, this isn’t what God wants.” You were battling with the fact. This wasn’t anything close to what God wanted. God called for pleasure in marriage, marriage between one man and one woman. But here you were.

“Leave, lamb. Walk away. Go be good,” she took a step back, your grip on her shirt releasing, teasing smirk still painted on her stunning features. This was your chance, your opportunity to move back home and keep being good, keep being that sweet little version of you that seemed to be gone forever. But you didn’t move, you couldn’t move. “That’s what I thought. You want this, don’t you, sweet thing?” You were practically shaking like a leaf in the wind.

Hesitantly, you nodded. It was slow, and only once. Sevika was back on you in an instant, trapping you against the railing once again while she dragged your legs up and around her hips. She kissed your neck, doing far more than any stupid boy had in the past. It wasn’t long before any thoughts of God began to slip from your brain, too busy focusing on the way her warm mouth sucked the skin on your neck, adding her teeth and quickly flicking her tongue over the spot to ease any pain.

You couldn’t blame anyone for enjoying this. Not when she did the things that she did to you. “You’re always so good, baby,” she kissed the spot right below your ear. “Don’t you think you deserve something for being so good all the time?” Once again, you nodded slowly. “Answer me, lamb. You’ll learn quickly that doing what I say will get you what you want.”

“Yes,” your voice shook with your answer, eyes drifting to the side. It was an embarrassing experience, but it was only deserved. She let your legs down, backing away slightly with a chuckle.

“Yes what, baby? What do you deserve?” A flush of red warmed your cheeks. It was hard to say something you didn’t agree with; you hadn’t been good, you didn’t deserve anything because you weren’t good. If you acted right, you still didn’t deserve anything. God didn’t give out favors for simply doing what you were called to do.

Sevika’s words snuck their way into your mind quickly. You were so far gone already, what’s a little bit more? She had already made you feel this good and she had hardly touched you. What was just a little more? Maybe she was right, maybe God hated you.

“Yes, I deserve something for being good,” you cringed at your own words, flinching away from her gaze. She pulled your forward off of the railing, lifting you over her shoulder like it was nothing. Like you were a piece of paper in comparison to her strength.

You found purchase atop the sermon table, the fat of your thighs morphing against the divots in the wood, through your skirt. Every church had a table in the altar, one where the reverend could sit things out or create a sort of symbolism of God, but right now, she was pushing everything off to sit you onto it, reattaching her lips to your neck rapidly.

You were writhing under her by the time her lips found your collarbone, leaving a trail of dark marks. “Let’s take this off, pretty thing. Can you do that for me?” She ran her pointer and middle finger under the elastic of your skirt as she whispered in your ear, planting a kiss under it.

You didn’t hesitate in lifting your hips and slipping it down, leaving you in your top and panties. It was the epitome of a compromising position, looking up at her half naked with your hair static and your makeup messed up. “You’re so pretty, aren’t you?” You nodded, but that was hardly enough for her, as you should've anticipated. She grabbed your jaw, pressing her fingers into your cheeks to hollow them out. “What did we just talk about?”

“Yes, I’m pretty.” You mumbled through the force of her hands.

“That’s it,” she cooed, removing her hand in favor of pulling you up by your upper arms and spinning you around, folding you over the table in front of you. With a gasp, your cheek came down on the wood with your hands flat next to your head. You were ass up, pink panties covering the one thing that nobody else had ever seen. “Whatever will I do with you, little lamb? God doesn’t like sluts who bend over for their priests.” Her hand came down to knead the flesh of your ass.

You whimpered, pushing back into the touch. It was humiliating, really, how wet you got when she said such vile things, using your religion, your existence against you. Even with that in mind, you were practically dripping through your panties, you may even be. All you knew was that your thighs were wet and that Sevika was the only one who could see anything else.

“Aren’t you going to do something?” You whined, glancing over your shoulder at her. The look in her eyes had far surpassed something sinister. She pressed her flesh thumb into the wet patch on your underwear, against your drenched entrance, laughing as you mewed.

“You’re in no position to make demands, peach. Not when you're this wet from some kissing. This how you feel every time you see me?” Her mech hand came down hard on your ass when you didn’t answer, making you flinch again. “The first time we met, I knew you’d be easy. Wide eyes and those pretty legs that rubbed together with every word I said. Has anyone ever touched you here before, little lamb?” She ran her flesh thumb up and down the sensitive skin and you attempted to tighten your thighs with no avail.

“No, only..” you trailed off as she sank to her knees, pressing a kiss into the crease between your ass and your upper thigh, letting them travel down your hamstring.

There was a pause before she answered you, “Only?” she pushed, desperate to know if her fingers would be the first in your pretty cunt. She continued her trail of kisses all over your thighs as you pondered whether or not to answer her.

“Only my own.” You whispered, guilt taking you over as you decided that answering was probably a better idea than whatever consequence she would award you if you didn’t.

She hummed. “What do you think about when you fuck your cunt with your fingers, pretty thing?” You clenched down on something nonexistent as her words shot straight to your core. This was absolutely disgusting. Before you could think to answer, her tongue was lapping lazily at your clit over your panties, taking a fat lick from your clit to your hole. Her hand came down on your ass again, learching you forward with a moan.

“You,” you sputtered, “I think about you.” she moaned into you, sending soft vibrations through your system, just enough to make you tense, a new wave of slick rushing through your panties.

She didn’t bother with any more humiliating questions with forced answers, instead opting to press her face into you and continue licking at your center over your panties. She went like that for several minutes, until you were practically crying and your panties were soaked - partially her spit and partially the wetness that was leaking from you like a hose.

Your mind was in a daze when she stood, tucking her fingers underneath the elastic of your underwear as she began to drag it over your ass. “Lift your hips, pretty girl. Let me make you feel good, since you’re so needy.” You couldn’t even think to do it, resulting in her lifting them for you. It only made you wetter, the way she lacked any form of struggle when lifting you, essentially doing it with one hand while she used the other to drag your pantues down.

She didn’t allow them to come all the way off  before she was attaching her wide lips to your clit. With your panties strung around your ankles and her tongue on your clit, you knew that this was the end of anything pertaining to you and God. There was no place for God when she had a mouth like that.

“I think God blessed y’r pussy, baby. Tastes so fucking good.” She followed with a groan, sucking your clit into her mouth. You almost shrieked, lurching forward once again as the nerve exploded with feeling. Porn had never even come close to making you feel this way, let alone your pillow or fingers.

With a final peck, Sevika flicked her tongue against your entrence, pushing it through the tight muscle and wasting no time tongue-fucking you like you weren’t in a house of God. She was messy, grabbing your hips with both hands and pulling you into her face, letting you rock into it and hump her like some sort of dog. Her face was soaked, from her nose to her chin, but nothing was stopping her.

Sevika was having the time of her life. She got exactly what she wanted, just like she knew she would. And to make it even better, you had the wettest pussy of any girl she’d ever fucked. When she took her oath, she was sure that she would miss eating out the most, making you a prize. Your cunt was so good that she was sure she would resign the moment she got you home safe. THere was no way in hell she would be able to go without this for longer than a day.

Not only were you drenching her like a baptism, but you were also moaning and squirming and making all the best noises that drove a sane woman crazy. Your cunt had to be heaven, your body that of an angel. This was her blessing, her calling and her salvation. It was you, all of you.

A pit grew in your stomach, wrapping itself around every inch of your body until she whispered, “come, lamb” had your muscles relaxing and your legs shaking, wave after wave of pleasure rocking you like a punch. Sevika didn’t halt, drinking up every last drop that she could get from you, and she didn’t stop there.

Once she was sure your orgasm was over, she stood, flipping you over until your back was resting against the wood. She pressed her middle finger against your hole, groaning into your neck as you swallowed her in. “You’re such a good girl, yeah? Gonna get broken in tonight, peach. ‘m gonna stretch you so good, make you so full.”  You practically screamed as she curled her single finger up into the best spot in your body, one that you hadn’t touched yourself.

“Vika, ‘s too much,” you slurred, but all she did was press  her cold, mech thumb onto your tongue, husing you. She added another finger, letting you adjust knuckle by knuckle until you were full. She fucked you like that for some time, crooking up with every thurst until your tears were regular.

“One more big stretch, my girl can do it, can’t she?” you shook your head no, but it wasn’t true. You wanted to see how far you could go, how much you could take. Your body begged to indulge and be stretched open for her, molding to every part of her.

Her third, thick finger protruded your entrance and you cried out, fat salty tears falling down your cheeks. It burned when she got the first knuckle in, and your hand shot down to her wrist to hold it in place. Using the wetness that your mouth provided, she rubbed circles into your clit with her mech hand, helping you adjust to the feeling.

When she bottomed out, you were close to sobbing. She wasn’t joking when she insisted on filling you, you were full to the hilt, shaking like a leaf with every delicious curl of her fingers. Once she got going, there was no slowing her down. She fucked into you like the world was ending, unrelenting in her pace as she did nothing but watch all three fingers get sucked in every time.

Your mind was swimming, stuck in what you were sure was an alternate universe. There was no way that a single woman was making you feel this good, making your eyes roll back and your tongue loll out like you had no thoughts. “Hey,” she caught your attention, but your brain and recognition was at an all-time slow. “Watch your greedy,” you whined as her mech hand came down no your clit, “fucking,” it came down again, only increasing your noise, “cunt,” she finished it off with one final slap, “sucks in my fucking fingers.”

You gazed down, watching every thrust. You reached up, pulling her body against your own as you approached your next orgasm. You held her close to you, nails scratching and digging into her toned back when her mechanical hand began its pace on your clit. “Sev.. Sev, I-I can’t do it, it hurts,” you cried, hands tightening on her shoulders as your muscles tensed.

“My strong girl, you can do it. Give me another one.” She increased her pace ever so slightly and that’s what did it, clenching down on her so tightly that you feared for her circulation. You came for what felt like hours, shaking and crying and holding her like she was the only thing keeping you alive. “Atta girl, little lamb. See how good you are at listening?” You only moaned, further extending your finish.

When you were finally finished, she pulled her fingers from you and tapped your lips, motioning for you to open them. You did, not expecting her to push all three in and down your throat. You caught on quickly that she wanted you to suck them, sucking them clean of your own release. It was purely erotic, not coming anywhere close to things that you had done to yourself or thought of having done to yourself.

Once her fingers were clean, Sevika dipped her head down once again, this time only licking up the mess that you had already made. Her intentions didn't stop you from twitching and squirming, though. She pulled you up, letting you put all of your weight on her as she redressed you. Your legs were basically jelly, so much happening that there was no way you could stand or even manage to get yourself home.

Without asking, she effortlessly scooped you into her arms and out of the church, only briefly sitting you down to lock the doors. You wondered whether or not she had left things since she was clearly in a hurry, but it hardly mattered with the fuzzy state of your mind.

She got you home and helped you up the stairs to your apartment, but she didn’t stop there. She helped you change and tucked you in, even pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Sleep well, lamb.” She said softly as she disappeared out your door.

And you knew, then, that you weren’t ever going to see her again.

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[barnacles34]

Book Boy

Asa x Male Reader

18+ smut

12k words

'Is this the place?' Asa stood in the open doorway, bag slung over one shoulder. Eyes moving slowly around the room. The single bed pushed against the wall, the stacks of paperbacks rising from the floorboards like uneven pillars, the one rickety wooden chair beside a small, bare table. 'It's… neat.'

'It does the job,' you reply, leaning against the doorframe.

'Just…' She stepped inside then. Her fingers traced the spine of a book on the nearest stack. Dust danced in the pillar of late afternoon light from the window. 'Not a lot of distractions.'

'Don't need many.'

'Right.' She walked to the window, peered down at the narrow alley between buildings. A single potted succulent sat on the sill. 'How long have you lived like this?'

'Awhile,' you said.

She turned back, leaning her hip against the little table. 'I heard about you.'

'Oh yeah?'

'Some people. Mentioned you.' She paused, tilted her head as if searching for the right word. 'Said you were… particular.'

'Did they.' It wasn't a question.

'Ex-girlfriends, I gathered.' A tiny smile touched her lips, disappeared. 'Sounded like maybe they didn't appreciate the… minimalist aesthetic.'

'Some people need cushions,' you offered.

'Maybe.' Her gaze was direct now, curious rather than judging. 'How long?'

'Did they last?'

She nodded, waiting.

'Not long,' you admitted. Shifted your weight. 'One left after we ordered pizza. Said the delivery box dwarved the table.'

A soft laugh escaped her. Genuine. 'You're kidding.'

'Wish I was.'

Silence settled for a moment, filled only by the low hum of the ancient refrigerator in the corner and the distant sigh of traffic. It wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet.

Then, 'Okay,' she said, pushing herself away from the table. Her movement seemed decisive. 'You got the job.'

'Just like that?' You straightened up. Confused. This was the usual spiel that got you rejected. Got you the fastlane to unemployment benefits.

'Just like that.' She smiled properly now, a flash of warmth in the dim room. 'I need a manager. Someone… different. You seem different.'

'Okay,' you said again, the word feeling inadequate. You wondered what, exactly, you'd just agreed to. 'When do I start?'

An idol manager? Of all jobs?

—

The months that followed compressed time. A montage of departure lounges, identical hotel corridors, the pre-show buzz backstage turning into the van ride afterwards. 

Through it all, there was Asa. Under the stark stage lights, catching her breath in the wings, falling asleep with her head against a tour bus window. A rhythm began. Coffee handed over wordlessly before dawn call times.

You making sure she actually ate something more substantial than candy between soundcheck and the show. Her leaving bottles of cold water beside your laptop when you were hunched over schedules late at night. Small kindnesses, noticed.

One night. Might have been London. Rain drummed against the tall hotel window, a steady, gray beat. You were burrowed deep under the thick duvet, finally feeling the bone-deep chill start to ease. Sleep was close.

The door clicked open softly. Asa. She still had her scarf on, damp from the rain, little droplets sparkling on the dark wool under the hallway light spilling in.

'Let's find some real food,' she said. Her voice was low, tired perhaps. She hadn't turned on the room light.

'Thought you were going out with the others,' your voice came out muffled by the pillow and the blankets.

'Changed my mind.' She came further into the dark room, stood near the edge of the bed. 'Come on. There's meant to be a good pub just down the road. Supposedly.'

'Asa, I think my legs might actually detach if I try to walk.'

'Just for an hour. Less, even.'

'No chance. Bed's too good.'

A soft sigh. You felt, more than saw, her put a hand flat on the duvet, near your shoulder. The weight was slight. Then her fingers curled gently into the thick fabric. A soft tug, hesitant almost. 'Please?'

'Hey now,' you mumbled, trying for firmness. 'Not exactly dressed for company under here.'

'Wouldn't be the first time I've seen skinny legs,' she countered, her voice softening into something almost teasing. Another gentle pull. 'Just food. Real food. Then sleep, promise.'

'You're pathologically persistent.'

'Is that a yes I hear?' Even in the dim light, you could imagine the hopeful tilt of her head.

—

You both learned to read the spaces between words. Shared things. A half-finished bottle of water passed back and forth backstage, slick with condensation and effort. A book appearing on a hotel nightstand, the bookmark a receipt from a local cafe, marking a passage you might like.

Small offerings. Small acceptances.

Outside a theatre after a show. The crowd was roaring. Flashbulbs exploded. Your hand found hers, a reflex. You felt her small bones and warm skin for the first time, fitting perfectly. It felt startlingly right. Then the chaos happened—shouting voices, security guards forming a barrier. Someone jostled your arms apart. Her hand was gone. The space where it had been felt abruptly, painfully cold. Your ears were still ringing from the flashes.

Whispers followed. Dark rumors that served to bury you. Phone calls behind closed doors you weren't privy to. Looks exchanged by executives that you learned to understand immediately.

You sat gripping a flat soda in a sterile hotel bar days later, staring at the melting ice, feeling the unease settle deep.

Asa appeared suddenly, sliding onto the stool beside you as if materializing from the dim light. She ordered an orange juice.

'Heard talk,' you said, keeping your eyes on your glass.

'Forget it.' She bumped her shoulder against yours. A light, fleeting contact. 'It's handled. Really.' She risked a quick, reassuring smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. 'Don't worry about it. Seriously.' She leaned a fraction closer, her voice dropping. 'No one's firing my manager. Especially not over that.'

—

Another city, another late night, another hotel couch. Rain pattered gently on the window. The TV murmured in the corner—some romantic drama you’d both lost interest in.

Her head rested on your shoulder, her arm tucked through yours, familiar now, comfortable. The silence stretched, easy. You could hear the soft tick-tock of a travel clock, the faint sound of her breathing.

'Think she'll pick him in the end?' she murmured, her voice drowsy, eyes half-closed.

'The quiet, broody one? Dollars to donuts.'

A soft 'hmm' sound vibrated against your shirt. 'You have a type.'

'They seem reliable,' you said, a small smile touching your lips as you looked down at the top of her head. The scent of her shampoo, something clean and faintly floral, apple maybe, reached you. 'Probably read Dostoevsky.'

She chuckled, a low, warm sound that made something inside you settle. She nuzzled slightly closer, a purely comfortable gesture. 'Probably.'

—

Then summer was warm and tacky. A small town tucked into rolling green hills, the air smelling of sun-baked stone, cut grass, and the pungent sweetness of lavender from nearby fields. Asa walked beside you, concentrating on her rapidly melting gelato cone. 

Her simple white sundress fluttered around her knees in the slight, warm breeze. The cheap instant camera she insisted on carrying everywhere bounced gently against her hip with each step.

It felt… good. Dangerously good.

'This is seriously amazing,' she declared, holding the precarious cone aloft for a second before taking another bite. A drip escaped onto her hand.

'Better be, for what it cost.'

'Details, details. I owe you one,' she said, deftly licking the drip from her thumb.

'You keep saying that.' How many times now? Twenty? Thirty?

'Are you keeping count?' she teased, eyes bright.

'Wouldn't dream of it,' you replied, the lie easy on your tongue.

'Good.' She nudged your arm with her shoulder, a playful bump. 'So, what glorious adventure is next on the agenda?'

'I believe my gelato budget allocation for the day has been exhausted,' you said, deadpan.

She gave you a soft push, laughing. 'Liar.' Then her fingers slipped easily between yours, cool skin against your own.

The cool metal of a ring some fan gave her brushed against your knuckles: A small, hard reminder. You closed your hand around hers anyway. It felt too right not to.

'There's supposed to be a really good independent bookstore just down this street,' she said, her voice softer now.

'Lead the way.'

'Think we can find you something that isn't Russian and relentlessly bleak for once?'

'We can always hope.'

She started walking, her grip firm but gentle, tugging you along. You let yourself follow, but deliberately kept your pace unhurried. The sun felt warm on your face, the aged sidewalk uneven beneath your feet. The street was peaceful, sleepy in the afternoon heat.

'Everything alright back there, slowpoke?' She glanced over her shoulder, her brow furrowed slightly, but she was smiling. She didn't let go of your hand.

'Just enjoying the scenic route.'

'The scenic route consisting of… cracked pavement and that one sad-looking mailbox?'

'It's got character,' you insisted.

She stopped then, turning to face you fully, pulling you gently closer by your joined hands. 'You walk slower than a turtle.'

'Respect the pace.'

A bright yellow bicycle whizzed past, its rider, a kid maybe ten years old, shouting a cheerful, unintelligible greeting. Asa waved back automatically, her smile bright and easy. She turned that smile back to you. 'People are going to start rumors, you know.'

'Let them, nothing’s gonna change.'

'My last manager,' she began, her voice dropping a little, falling back into step beside you, her shoulder brushing yours, 'he timed everything. Schedules printed in triplicate. Bathroom breaks logged.'

'Sounds like a real party.'

'He never bought me gelato,' she said, her gaze flicking down for a second to your intertwined hands. Was that a faint blush on her cheeks, or just the summer heat? 'And he definitely never just… walked.'

'His loss.’

She leaned slightly against your arm as you moved, It sent a ridiculous jolt straight to your chest. Your heart felt too loud in the quiet street.

Cicadas buzzed, a high, vibrating blanket of sound. A sound for slow afternoons.

'So, any new threats from the executioner's block this week?' you asked, trying to inject lightness into your voice.

'Friday meeting. Same old, same old.'

'And?' You held your breath without realizing it.

She squeezed your hand. 'And I told them my bookish, slow-walking manager isn't going anywhere.' She looked up at you then, her expression surprisingly serious for a fleeting moment. 'Okay?'

'Okay,' you echoed, the knot in your stomach easing slightly. It felt much more than okay.

The sky was visibly darkening at the edges now, clouds bruised purple. The air felt heavier, expectant.

'Definitely looks like rain.' 

'Smells like it now.' The metallic scent was distinct.

'Should probably hurry to that bookstore.'

'Suppose so.'

Yet, neither of you quickened your pace. Her hand felt incredibly warm, perfectly fitted in yours. The rest of the world seemed to fade slightly.

There was just the pressure of her fingers, the coming scent of summer rain, the soft scuff of your shoes on the pavement, her presence beside you.

Up ahead, a brick wall was plastered with old, faded movie posters, their edges softened and colors bled by past rains. She slowed, pointing with her free hand. 'Remember seeing that one? The weird sci-fi thing?'

'Can't say I do.'

'Liar. You fell asleep halfway through and snored.'

'Must have been riveting.' Before she could argue further, you gave her hand a gentle tug forward. 'Come on. Unless you want to test if that camera is waterproof.'

She laughed, letting you lead her past the decaying posters. Around the corner, a row of small, inviting shopfronts appeared—a bakery, a hardware store, a tiny cafe.

Your hands remained firmly clasped. It felt like the most normal, necessary thing in the world.

'There?' You pointed across the quiet street. A small, neat sign swung gently in the rising breeze, letters painted carefully: 'The Book Nook'.

She chuckled, her eyes crinkling at the corners, looking bright 'Finally.'

Inside the bookstore, you moved chaotically between shelves, gathering books in your arms. Asa wandered, trailing fingers along dusty spines. Her dress wafted as she walked, and right there, you thought, maybe, she's the most amazing person you've ever met.

She caught you staring and grinned, something beautiful, something genuine. 'Aw. You're so excited.' She giggled. 'Take your time. I like walking in the rain.'

The rain.

You'd forgotten. Letting her walk in the rain with that dress—gossamer-thin, white, creamy, sheer—was a recipe for disaster.

So you hurried.

'Why're you in a hurry?'

'It's about to rain.'

'It's already raining.'

You looked out. Lots of rain already.

‘Oh.’

…

‘Wanna run for it?’

She said sure with an eager smile.

So you pressed softly on the glass door, waiting for the moment, listening to the faint droplets tik-tik-tik against the door.

‘Run for it Asa.’

You opened the door, and she started running. And you followed. The rain was plastering your face, its earthy smell invading your nostrils, but you had eyes for Asa. Only Asa. Maybe you could’ve ran faster than her, outpace her, await her at the car—but what would be the fun in that?

She seemed to be squealing. You didn’t notice, you were staring at her, the way she ran, the way the dress outlined her.

Before you knew it, you were at the car with Asa—the both of you entered the backseat.

‘Holy shit.’ You say.

‘That was like… too much rain.’ Asa giggled.

You looked at Asa, the first question, weird one: ‘Did you even have makeup on?’ She fixed her hair, wet from rain, ‘Makeup has advanced more than you know. But thanks. I’ll take that as a compliment.’

‘Weird question.’

‘I know.’

‘Anyway, why did we enter the backseat?’

‘I’m cold.’

‘The AC works better in the passenger seat.’

Then Asa softly moved over to you, and wrapped her shivery arms around you. ‘It’s because of this, dummy.’ Then her arms tightened, and you could feel, truly, how her body shivered, the traces of warmth on the surface of her skin; the way she smelt, of honeydew, of earth’s rain; then the way she felt:

Her skin was cold-to-the-touch when you finally held her. This time, her touch felt electric: the way her finger just grazed along your palm was already too much.

She wanted you.

You wanted her.

'I've always liked you.' She said.

You hugged her closer, giving her warmth, feeling the rain-kissed dress warm up against your skin. Her finger traced patterns on your palm, sometimes pressing deeper, waiting for your reaction.

You were too busy pressed up against her—feeling the hot skin of her back, inhaling her scent. She was inlaid across your lap, the thin dress more inspiration than prevention.

'You're so warm.' A whimper. Thin, meek.

'Keep hugging me.' You breathed back, merely a whisper as your hands caressed her. She'd make these sounds, these no-good ones, breathing right into your ear as her thin arms looped around your neck.

Then you kissed her.

She squealed, soft-like, then poked your side teasingly, then her hands curled in your hair.

When you pulled back, her lips chased yours for a fraction before she caught herself.

'Oh.' Asa touched her lips with cold fingers. Pink spread across her cheeks like watercolor.

'Yeah.' Your voice came out rough. You cleared your throat. 'Oh.'

She buried her face in your shoulder. 'Stop looking at me like that.'

'Like what?'

'Like... that.'

'Very specific.'

Her laugh vibrated against your collarbone. 'Shut up.'

A shiver ran through her. You pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her middle. The rain had soaked through her dress, through your shirt, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

'Cold?'

'Mm.' She nuzzled deeper. 'Not really.'

'Liar.'

'Am not.' Her teeth chattered slightly.

'The AC—'

'Don't you dare.' Her fingers curled into your shirt. 'Stay.'

You stayed. The rain drummed against the windows, a steady rhythm that matched your heartbeat. Or maybe your heartbeat matched it. You weren't sure anymore.

'Your books got wet,' she mumbled.

'Worth it.'

She lifted her head. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah.'

Her eyes were soft, questioning. You watched a drop of water trace down her temple.

'You're staring again.'

'Can't help it.'

'Book boy's getting smooth.'

'Don't call me that right now.'

She grinned. 'Why not... book boy?'

You pinched her side. She squeaked, squirming in your lap.

'Evil,' she said. 'Pure evil.'

'Says the one soaking my clothes.'

'You volunteered.'

'Did I?'

She nodded solemnly. 'The moment you hired me.'

'Pretty sure it was the other way around.'

'Details.' She waved a hand dismissively, then shivered again.

You rubbed her back, feeling the goosebumps through the thin fabric. 'We should really—'

'Five more minutes.' She pressed closer. 'Just five.'

You breathed her in. Rain and perfume and something uniquely Asa. 'Okay.'

'Okay?'

'Five minutes.'

She hummed contentedly. 'Then maybe five more after that.'

'Asa...'

'What?' Innocent eyes. Too innocent. 'I'm very cold.'

'You're impossible.'

'You like it.'

You did. God help you, you really did.

And for a few minutes, or 10, or maybe even 20, you sat there embracing Asa’s meek figure, with the knowledge that she liked you.

—

You were each other's sweet torture, you realized that now. Every shared glance became a test of restraint. Like that time she pulled you into the maintenance closet, pressed a ghost of a kiss against your lips, then whispered promises that made your collar too tight.

Later that night, you found her waiting at the door. You slipped inside, waited for the heavy door to click shut.

'Took you long enough.' She held her arms out, expectant.

'Some of us actually work.' You fell into her embrace.

Her lips found your cheekbone. 'Making excuses now, you monster.'

'Monster?' You lifted her up.

'Absolutely.' But her hands linked behind your neck, and she tilted down to catch your lips.

Soft and warm and perfect—a sweet prison you never wanted to escape. You stumbled toward the bedroom, knocking against furniture, probably bruising your shin, but none of that mattered. What mattered was the way Asa sighed against your mouth, the way her fingers traced patterns in your hair, the way she fit against you like she was made for this.

The suite was nice—couch, kitchenette, things you'd normally notice. But right now all you could focus on was the warmth of her skin, the sound of her breath, the weight of her in your arms.

You were reserved for the next few hours.

Really, you were reserved for the foreseeable future.

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

—

The smell hit you first—something sizzling. You found Asa in the kitchen, spatula in hand, wearing one of your old t-shirts like a dress.

'Since when do you cook?'

'Since forever.' She didn't look up from the pan. 'You just never asked.'

'Wouldn't have pegged you for domestic.'

'Says the man with three different coffee brewing methods.'

You moved behind her, peered over her shoulder. The rice popped and sizzled, red and fragrant. 'Looks good.'

'Tastes better.' She bumped back against you. 'If someone would let me focus.'

'Am I distracting?' Your lips found her neck.

'Mm.' She tilted her head, giving you better access. 'Very.'

'Should I stop?'

'Don't you dare.' But she moved the pan to the back burner, turned down the heat.

You spun her around. The counter was just the right height—she sat on it, pulled you close by your shirt.

'The rice will burn,' you murmured against her lips.

'Don't care.' Her legs wrapped around your waist. 'Kiss me.'

So you did. She tasted like kimchi and coffee, and something sweet you couldn't place. Her hands found your hair, tugged just right.

—

Later in the day, you were splayed across the couch, and Asa snuggled up close to you.

‘What’s gonna happen after the tour?’

‘Nothing’ll change, Asa.’

‘You’ll still come over?’

‘I’ll try. But you’d be in the dorm.’

‘We can go somewhere in secret.’

‘Hotels? That’s expensive, Asa.’

‘I mean I can pay, I have money. Or the, you know, 3 hour hotel rooms.’

‘Love hotels?’ 

Her face flushed up, ‘Maybe.’

You didn’t answer at first. You looked at her, then at the ceiling, like it might hold the right response in a water stain.

Asa’s fingers were toying with the hem of her borrowed shirt—your shirt—like she hadn’t just upended the atmosphere with two syllables. Love hotels.

You cleared your throat. ‘They charge by the hour, right?’

‘That’s… kind of the point,’ she said, not quite meeting your eyes, but grinning all the same. Her cheeks had that telltale flush again, the one that crept up slow then stayed.

You shifted, suddenly hyper-aware of the way her thigh pressed against yours. 'You saying you want to rent one for the ambiance?'

‘Sure. Mood lighting. Themed wallpaper. Maybe a heart-shaped jacuzzi if we’re lucky.’

‘Classy.’

‘I thought so.’

You laughed, short and quiet. She nudged your knee with hers. You looked at her then—really looked—and the idea bloomed, unwanted and vivid, in the back of your mind. Asa in one of those ridiculous hotel robes. Her hair still damp from the shower. You, trying not to stare. Trying and failing.

You blinked hard.

‘You're thinking about it, aren't you?’ she said. Not accusatory, just amused.

You scratched the back of your neck. ‘Thinking is free.’

‘Mmhm.’

You paused. Words gathered, jostled. You said, finally, ‘I didn’t… we haven’t… you know.’

‘Had sex?’ she supplied, way too casually, then turned her face into the crook of your shoulder, like even saying it embarrassed her.

You swallowed. Nodded. 'Yeah.'

She was quiet a beat. Then, softly: ‘Why not?’

The air shifted again. Serious now. Too still.

You tried for honesty, the kind that didn’t dress itself up too much. ‘Because if we did… I don’t know. I might fall in.’

She lifted her head, frowning. ‘Fall in?’

You gestured vaguely between you. ‘Into all this. Too deep. I’m your manager, Asa. There’s lines. I don’t know what happens if I… if we… cross them.’

She looked at you for a long time. Then, with a soft snort, said, ‘You think this hasn’t already crossed lines?’

You opened your mouth. Closed it again. She wasn’t wrong.

‘You’ve seen me cry after bad interviews,’ she continued. ‘You’ve slept next to me in tiny green rooms with broken heaters. You’ve watched me eat an entire packet of sour gummies for dinner and still defended me to the label.’

‘It was impressive,’ you offered.

‘It was pathetic,’ she said, grinning. ‘But you didn’t make me feel pathetic. You made me feel… okay. Like it was okay to be tired and weird and hungry at 2am.’

You were staring at her again. Couldn’t help it.

She touched your wrist, featherlight. 'So yeah. I’ve thought about it. The… other stuff. But I figured if we were gonna, it had to be when it didn’t feel like a risk.'

You nodded slowly. That sounded right. That sounded like her.

‘Still… love hotels, huh?’

She groaned, faceplanting into your chest. ‘I knew you were gonna circle back.’

‘You started it.’

‘It was a joke! Mostly.’

‘Mostly?’

She peeked up at you, eyes glinting. ‘Eighty percent joke. Twenty percent… we’d have fun.’

‘Fun?’

‘Yeah. Dumb, cheesy, stupid fun. Mirrors on the ceiling kind of fun.’

You tried not to laugh. Failed. ‘God, you’re dangerous.’

‘I’m adorable,’ she said, with a mock huff.

‘Also that.’

Her hand curled around your arm again, comfortably. Like it belonged there. You didn’t pull away.

After a while, she said, ‘So… no love hotels. For now.’

‘For now.’

‘But I’m not giving up.’

‘I’d be offended if you did.’

She smiled into your shirt. ‘It’s a weird thing, you know?’

‘What is?’

‘How much I like you. Even when you’re being all serious and manager-y. Even when you say things like “logistics.”’

You sighed. ‘I only said it twice.’

‘Once is too many.’

You reached over, tangled your fingers gently in her hair.

—

The door opened and she was already kissing you.

Just a quick one, soft and close-mouthed, but it said everything. She lingered, her arms around your neck, fingers slipping into your hair. You’d seen her just last night.

Still— ‘I missed you,’ she mumbled against your cheek.

‘It’s been twelve hours.’

‘Too long.’

You set the peaches on the counter without looking. One hand stayed around her waist.

‘You okay?’ you asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

‘Now? Yeah. Now I’m peachy.’

You groaned. ‘That was awful.’

She smiled. ‘Come slice the fruit, whiner.’

You did, methodically. Thin wedges, juices pooling on the plate. She leaned her hip against the counter, watching, towel still perched loosely on her head, damp strands peeking out. She looked soft, undone, like someone who belonged to a slow morning.

You brought the plate over and she tugged you toward the couch. You ended up side by side under the throw blanket, legs tangled. She fed you the first slice. Then leaned in for a kiss.

Peach-sweet.

‘Still missed you,’ she said again, like it needed repeating.

You offered her a slice in return. She took it delicately, then pecked your lips.

Another bite, another kiss. You let the silence hold, warm and quiet.

You ran your thumb along her knee, slow. She leaned into you, head tucked under your chin. ‘You smell good.’

Then, softly, reply: ‘I’ll have to go back to Korea. For a week or two. Maybe three.’

She stilled.

You felt it—her body going quiet. Still pressed against you, but something changed.

‘When?’ she asked, voice too even.

‘Couple days.’

A pause. Then: ‘Don’t spread yourself thin, okay?’

You glanced down.

Her eyes were still on the peach slice she held.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You know. New city, old friends. Late nights. People who might not know you’ve got… someone.’

You blinked. Then looked at her, really looked.

Asa. Slightly pink-cheeked, lips sugar-wet from fruit. Trying not to sound hurt.

You set the plate down on the coffee table and turned to her fully. Lifted her chin with a fingertip.

‘You think I’d forget?’

She shrugged. ‘Not forget. Just… get swept up.’

You kissed her again. Longer this time. Slower.

When you pulled back, she was quiet.

You said, ‘This is a relationship, isn’t it.’

It wasn’t even a question.

She smiled, barely. A breath of a thing. Then nodded.

‘Yeah. I guess it is.’

Another kiss. Sappy, drawn-out, peach-flavored.

You didn’t need to say anything else.

—

The conference room was cold. Overly air-conditioned in that way corporate places always are, like someone thought discomfort = professionalism. Rows of black suits. PowerPoint slides with bullet points so dry you could sand wood with them.

You sat stiffly, tie a little too tight, nodding along while some VP in rectangular glasses spoke about “strategic alignment.” Whatever that meant.

Your phone buzzed quietly in your pocket.

You didn’t check it immediately. That would’ve been rude. But it buzzed again. And again.

Eventually, during the fake coffee break where everyone clustered around silver urns of burnt liquid, you slipped your phone out.

1:43 PM have you eaten?

1:44 PM Not really.

1:44 PM ??? dude why not

1:45 PM Was stuck in a panel about supply chain integration. They served sandwiches the size of poker chips.

1:46 PM that’s not food that’s a cry for help u need me i would’ve made u like actual rice or something

1:47 PM I would sell this entire conference for a bowl of your rice.

1:47 PM omg stop u say the weirdest sweet things i’m blushing now ew

1:48 PM It’s a gift.

1:48 PM ur gift is being emotionally deranged and underfed amazing

1:49 PM I aim for consistency.

1:56 PM ok wait

1:58 PM [photo attachment]

1:59 PM Did you just—

1:59 PM 😊

2:00 PM That hoodie looks very good on you.

2:00 PM looks better when i’m not wearin anything under 👀

2:01 PM You're driving me crazy.

2:01 PM good. u should be thinking abt me while ur surrounded by all those old men in ties bet they don’t got pics like this

2:02 PM [photo attachment]

2:03 PM ...I’m adjusting in my chair now.

2:03 PM lmaooo ur welcome

2:03 PM I hate you.

2:04 PM sureeee but ok i’ll give u a break

2:04 PM Thank you. Appreciate your generosity in these dark times.

2:05 PM anything for my emotionally deranged rice boy 🫶

2:06 PM See you soon?

2:06 PM yuh don’t make me wait too long or i’ll send a video next time 😌

2:06 PM Noted. Flying home immediately.

2:07 PM lol ur ridiculous safe flight, loser also EAT

2:08 PM Yes ma’am.

—

You didn’t even take off your shoes when you got in. Just dropped your bag by the desk, loosened your tie, sat on the edge of the hotel bed like the air had thickened with gravity. The buzz of travel still lived under your skin—artificial light, too much air conditioning, stale coffee that never quite tasted right. But the silence helped. So did the faint promise of her.

Your phone lit up. Incoming Call: Asa

You answered on the first ring.

‘Hey,’ she said, voice already a balm.

‘Hey yourself.’

‘Did you eat?’

You rolled your eyes. ‘You and this food agenda.’

‘Answer the question.’

‘Fine. Yes. Eventually.’

‘What was it?’

‘Questionable noodles from a place with too many neon signs and one too many “z”s in the name.’

‘Oof.’ You could hear her make a face. ‘Okay, yeah, I forgive you. That sounds tragic.’

‘Thought you’d appreciate the suffering.’

‘I always do.’ A pause. ‘So… are you lying down yet?’

You did, one shoe still on, the other kicked halfway under the bed. ‘Yeah.’

‘Lights off?’

‘Just dim.’

‘Shirt?’

‘Still on.’

‘Hmph. We’ll fix that.’

You laughed softly, eyes closing as her voice washed over you. ‘You always get bossy this time of night?’

‘Only when I miss you. And when you’re being particularly slow.’

‘Mm. Sorry, manager mode doesn’t turn off easy.’

‘Well, lucky for you…’ A rustle. Fabric shifting. ‘...I’m in bed too.’

Your heart bumped at the sudden hush in her tone.

‘And what are you wearing?’ you asked, mock-formal.

‘You mean right now?’

‘Don’t play coy.’

She chuckled, voice warm like candlelight. ‘Your hoodie.’

‘Just the hoodie?’

There was the faintest pause. ‘You tell me.’

God. You swallowed. ‘Is it… zipped?’

‘Nope.’

You exhaled. ‘Fuck.’

‘Language,’ she teased. Then softer: ‘Missed your voice.’

‘You said that already.’

‘Still true.’ Her voice curled closer, like she was beside you, whispering. ‘You sound tired. That good kind. The one where I wish I was there.’

‘You’re kind of always here,’ you murmured.

‘Am I?’

‘Yeah. It’s dumb. I see a dumb pink drink at Starbucks and think of you. I hear a bad pop song in a cab, and it’s suddenly about you. It’s annoying.’

‘God.’ Her voice dropped. ‘Say more stupid things like that.’

‘I would,’ you said, ‘but I think I’d rather hear what you’re doing right now.’

Another rustle. You pictured her on that bed. Hair messy, half-lidded. Bare thighs and soft sighs.

‘Thinking about you,’ she said, unashamed. ‘Touching the edge of the hoodie. Just the hem. It’s so soft.’

‘Is it now.’

‘Yeah.’ A breath. ‘Can I… ask you something kind of dumb?’

‘Always.’

‘Have you ever… like—done this over the phone?’

Your mouth quirked. ‘Phone sex?’

‘Don’t say it like that.’ She groaned. ‘Now I’m shy.’

‘Too late,’ you murmured. ‘You brought it up.’

‘Technically, you did with the “what are you wearing” opener.’

You laughed, throat dry. ‘Okay. Guilty.’

A pause. Then she said, quieter, ‘I want to.’

Your stomach tightened. ‘Yeah?’

‘I keep picturing you lying there. Still in your dress shirt. Probably frowning at the ceiling.’

‘I was.’

‘You’re always so composed. So good. Until you’re not.’

You adjusted your position on the bed. Your jeans suddenly didn’t fit right.

‘Tell me what you’d do,’ she said.

You exhaled. ‘To you?’

‘Mhm.’

‘I’d start slow. Undo the zipper of that hoodie. Just enough to see the skin beneath. Press my nose against your shoulder. A soft bite too.’

She made a small, shaky sound. Encouragement.

‘Then I’d tell you to leave it half-zipped. Just like that. Because I want to see you in my hoodie. Want to see how little else you’re wearing underneath.’

She whimpered. ‘God, keep going.’

‘I’d kiss down your neck. Right where your collarbone meets your shoulder. Feel you squirm under me. My hands—’ you shifted, groaning under your breath, ‘—would slide under the hoodie, find your waist. Feel how warm your skin is.’

‘And?’ Her voice was tighter now, breathier. You imagined her biting her lower lip, one hand between her legs.

‘And I’d drop to my knees,’ you said. ‘I’d press kisses down your stomach. Trail down. Really love every part down. Then, I’d look up at you from between your thighs. Make you wait a second. Just enough to make your legs twitch, make you squirm under my hands.’

‘Oh, fuck,’ she whispered.

‘You’d be dripping,’ you added, voice darker now, lower. ‘Wouldn’t you.’

She breathed out a yes, broken and small. ‘Would beg for your mouth.’

‘Wouldn’t even make you wait long. Just enough. Then I’d lick—slow and flat. Feel you twitch. Hear you whine. My fingers would dig into your thighs. Hold you still as you convulse.’

‘God,’ she breathed.

‘You’d be worse,’ you said. ‘Your hands in my hair. Pulling. That breathless way you say my name. Every second deciding whether to stare at me eating you or look at the ceiling in euphoria’

‘Fuck, I’m—I’m close—’

‘Don’t come yet.’

She whimpered, frustrated.

‘Not until I say. Not until I’ve—’ You stopped. Smiled. ‘Actually…’

‘What?’

‘Would you get on your knees for me?’

A pause.

‘I want to hear it,’ you said.

Another beat. Then, soft as a secret: ‘Yes.’

‘Open your mouth for me. Put your wet fingers into your mouth.’

She inhaled sharply.

You adjusted your grip on the phone. ‘I’d undo my belt. Let you see how hard I am for you. Make you ask.'

‘Please,’ she said, immediately.

‘Good girl.’

A quiet whimper, something other than the whimper, something wet.

‘I’d feed it to you slow. Just the head first, resting on your tongue, all heavy. Let you get used to the weight on your tongue.’

She gasped.

‘Then deeper. Let you feel my pulsing erection, down and down. Until your lips hit my hips.’

‘Oh my god—’

‘You’d gag a little. But take it. I’d hold you there, Asa. You’ll take it so fucking well. So so fucking well.’

There was a choked sound on the line.

‘You doing it?’ you asked, softer now.

‘Mhm.’ Barely a whisper. ‘Fingers.’

‘Fucking hell.’

‘I want you inside me so bad.’

‘You’ll have me,’ you promised. ‘Next time I see you, I’m bending you over that hotel desk. Hoodie on. Nothing underneath.’

She moaned. ‘Please.’

‘You’ll take every inch. You won’t move. Your legs wouldn’t touch the ground.’ You were almost growling at the phone.

She whimpered again, high and desperate. ‘I’m—can I—?’

‘Now,’ you breathed. ‘Come now.’

She shattered on the line. You heard it. The breathless rush, the sound of her fingering herself to completion, the sound of her palm slapping fabric, her cry stifled into the pillow.

You listened like it was scripture.

After a long, delicious silence, her voice came back. A little broken. A little breathless. You heard her turn in the bed.

‘Oh my god. That was so hot.’

You chuckled, still catching your own breath. ‘You think?’

‘But also…’ she added, voice mock stern, ‘conflict of interest.’

‘Oh?’

‘I’m your artist. You’re my manager. And now I know how you’d ruin me.’

You grinned. ‘Mutual ruination. Very professional.’

‘Extremely HR-friendly.’

‘You’re gonna be the death of me.’

—

The days flew by much faster than you expected—mostly, because of Asa’s calls.

‘I forgot we could video call.’ Asa giggled, the heat of the moment got to you both yesterday, and the rest was history.

‘Was it effective?’

‘God yes. But now we can see each other. Look at you, button-up, in your suit.’ She breathed softly.

Damp hair, bare face, Asa, oh Asa, the most beautiful person in the world.

‘Asa.’ ‘Yes?’ Her voice was soft now, still holding that trace of breathlessness, a slight echo of the intensity from moments before. The video feed showed her face, slightly flushed, hair mussed around her temples, eyes wide and maybe a little shy now that you were seeing each other right after.

‘Just… yes.’ You let out a slow breath. Looked away from the screen for a second, gathering yourself. The artificial hotel lighting felt suddenly too bright. ‘Seeing you like this. After…’ You trailed off.

A small smile touched her lips. She pulled the blanket—or maybe it was the duvet—up slightly higher, just under her chin. ‘After you painted quite the picture, Manager-nim?’

You chuckled, low and rough. ‘Something like that. Still trying to reconcile the HR violations with the… visual confirmation.’

She laughed then, a real laugh, warm and slightly shaky. ‘You’re ridiculous. Look at you. All serious suit.’

‘Maybe,’ you admitted, running a hand over your jaw. The stubble rasped against your palm. ‘This feels… new. Seeing you right now.’

‘Yeah?’ She tilted her head, a damp curl falling across her cheek. ‘Good new or ‘oh-god-what-have-we-done’ new?’

‘Definitely good new,’ you said immediately. Too quickly, maybe. ‘Just… potent.’ You looked back at the screen, letting your eyes trace the line of her shoulder where it peeked above the covers. ‘So. Still rocking the legendary hoodie?’

Her blush deepened slightly. She glanced down as if confirming it for herself. ‘Might be.’

‘Might be?’ you echoed, letting a teasing note creep into your voice. ‘You holding out on me?’

‘Maybe I graduated,’ she countered, though her eyes glinted with amusement. ‘Maybe I’m wearing a ballgown under here. Maybe you bought me a ballgown and forgot about it.’

‘Somehow I doubt that.’

‘You wound me with your lack of faith.’ She shifted, the movement making the camera wobble slightly. Then, with deliberate slowness, she lowered the blanket just enough to reveal the soft grey fabric of your hoodie pulled low over her collarbones. The zipper was still halfway down, just like you’d imagined. ‘See? Loyal customer.’

Your breath hitched. ‘Okay. Yeah. Still looks… objectively good.’

‘Objectively?’ she repeated, raising an eyebrow. ‘Just objective appreciation, huh?’

‘Trying my best,’ you said, though your voice felt thick. ‘Doesn't mean my brain isn’t currently short-circuiting trying to imagine peeling it off you slowly when I get back.’

‘Oh yeah?’ Her voice dropped again, that low, intimate curl returning. ‘Tell me more about these return plans. Distract me from the fact I just basically melted into a puddle on the phone.’

You leaned back against the headboard, phone held steady now. The formality of the suit felt absurd. ‘First thing? Definitely losing the tie. Probably the moment the hotel door clicks shut behind me.’

‘A vital first step.’

‘Then,’ you continued, picturing it, letting the images form sharp and clear, ‘I find you. Wherever you are. Kitchen, couch, curled up on the bed looking annoyingly beautiful and innocent after driving me crazy from miles away.’

‘Annoyingly beautiful?’

‘You heard me. And I walk straight to you. No detours. No checking emails. Just… you.’ You paused, letting the word hang there. ‘And I kiss you. Properly. Not a quick peck. One of those long, slow ones that makes you forget what day it is.’

She smiled, a soft, genuine curve of her lips. ‘I like those days.’

‘Me too. Then, yeah. The hoodie. It’s gotta go. Slowly. Finger by finger up the zipper. Or maybe I just hook my fingers under the hem and pull it up over your head, tangle your hair a bit. See what you’ve got on underneath. Or what you don’t.’

She swallowed, visible on the screen. ‘And… what if there’s not much?’

‘Even better,’ you murmured. ‘Then it’s just skin. Yours against mine. I’d back you up against the nearest wall. Just to feel you pressed against me, finally. Kiss down your neck again, right there…’ you touched your own collarbone, ‘…where I know you like it. Feel you shiver.’

‘You remember,’ she whispered.

‘I remember everything.’ You shifted on the bed, the movement involuntary. ‘Then maybe the couch. Or the bed. Doesn't matter. Just tangled up. Lazy kisses. Hands exploring. None of that rushed tour bus hiding-in-corners stuff. Just… slow. Taking our time. Making up for all these miles.’

‘Slow sounds good,’ she breathed. ‘Really good.’

‘And food,’ you added, lightening the tone slightly. ‘Actual food. Maybe Pizza Hut. We can even leave the box on the floor this time. Break all my minimalist rules.’

She laughed, the sound like music. ‘Look at you, growing.’

‘Only for you.’ You met her eyes on the screen again. The joking facade faded. ‘Just… being close. That’s the plan. Getting back, shutting the door, and just being close to you. Everything else is details.’

‘Good details, though,’ she murmured, her gaze soft, affectionate. ‘Really, really good details.’

‘Yeah,’ you agreed, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had nothing to do with the hotel heating. ‘They are.’

A comfortable silence settled for a moment, filled only by the faint hum of electronics. Her eyes stayed on yours, a quiet understanding passing between the screens.

‘You’re staring again,’ she said softly, breaking the spell.

‘Can’t help it,’ you replied honestly. ‘Hard not to, even through a screen.’

‘Book boy’s getting dangerously smooth.’

‘Don’t call me that right now.’

She grinned, that familiar flash of mischief returning. ‘Why not… book boy?’

‘Because right now,’ you said, ‘all I can think about is getting home and doing things that aren’t found in any book I own.’

Her breath hitched audibly. ‘Okay,’ she whispered. ‘Message received. Loud and clear.’ She pulled the blanket back up slightly, mock-primly. ‘Guess I should… conserve my energy then.’

‘Good idea,’ you said, though the thought of her conserving energy by herself, wearing your hoodie, sent another jolt through you. ‘See you soon, Asa.’

‘Soon,’ she promised, her eyes holding yours for a second longer before the screen went dark.

You dropped the phone onto the duvet beside you, staring up at the textured ceiling. Soon couldn’t come fast enough. The sterile hotel room suddenly felt infinitely emptier. You thought about rice, kimchi, the smell of her shampoo, the weight of her head on your shoulder, the feel of her hand in yours. Simple things. Essential things. Heaven, you thought, surprised again. A quiet, waiting kind of heaven. And maybe, just maybe, a few HR violations when you got there.

—

The days went by surprisingly fast. You were already on the plane. A medium amount of homicidal executives. A medium amount of threats on your job. All in all, a successful trip for training. Though you would’ve liked to stay by Asa’s side. 

The flight was much longer than the week. Each hour dragged longer and longer. Like Zeno’s paradox. A smear of lethargy getting slower and slower until it didn’t move anymore. Of course, hyperbole considered, the flight still went by, or time went on, either of the two.

You landed. The air outside the terminal felt thick, sticky, holding onto the day's heat like a damp towel. Another city. Didn't matter much which one. She was here. That felt like the only direction that mattered.

The taxi window fogged easy. You drew a lazy line through the condensation with one finger. Thinking about rain, maybe. Wet pavement. Steamed-up backseats. The memory felt warm, close.

Check-in was smooth, anonymous. The key card felt cool in your palm. Same floor. Room across. Thank the booking gods, or whoever managed those details now. Probably still you, indirectly. The elevator hummed low, a familiar vibration, a sound that meant transit, waiting. You watched the numbers climb, feeling slower than they looked.

Down the hallway. Heavy carpet swallowed the sound of your footsteps, mostly. Soft thuds against some muted, swirling pattern you didn’t register. Your door: 512. Hers, across: 513.

A crack of light spilled from under her door. And jammed in the opening, holding it ajar, was a shoe. One of her boots. Casual.

You nudged the door wider with a fingertip, gentle. There she was. Curled not on the bed, but in one of those upholstered armchairs hotels always seem to have. Head tilted against the wingback, mouth slightly parted. Fast asleep. Still dressed from the day—jeans, soft-looking band shirt. Makeup mostly intact, maybe a faint smudge beneath one eye. Breathing soft and even.

Must've waited up. Or tried to.

You bent down, quietly picked up the stray boot. Set it beside its partner, near the wall. Turned back.

‘You’re here.’

Her voice was soft, thick with sleep, but definitely awake. Before you could answer, or fully turn, she was unfolding herself from the chair, moving quickly across the small space between you. Her arms wrapped around your waist from behind, pulling you tight against her. Her cheek pressed into the fabric of your travel-rumpled shirt.

‘I missed you,’ she mumbled into your back. She breathed you in, a long, deliberate inhale. ‘God, I missed you so much.’

You stood still for a moment, letting the reality of it sink in. The weight of her, the warmth. The faint scent of her shampoo mixed with something else—hotel soap, maybe fatigue. You covered her hands with yours where they were clasped at your stomach.

‘Hey,’ you said, voice low. ‘Missed you too.’

She squeezed tighter. ‘Took you long enough.’ Still muffled.

‘Traffic,’ you offered. ‘And, you know. Strategic alignment meetings.’

She made a soft scoffing sound against your spine. ‘Don’t remind me.’ She loosened her grip slightly, enough for you to turn around within her embrace. Her eyes were hazy, still clouded with sleep, but focused on yours now. A tiny, tired smile played on her lips. ‘You look wrecked.’

‘Feel it.’ You brushed a stray strand of raven hair back from her temple. Her skin felt warm. ‘You didn’t have to wait up.’

‘Tried not to,’ she admitted, leaning her forehead against your chest. ‘Failed. Fell asleep in the chair like an old lady.’

‘Very dignified.’

‘Shut up.’ She nudged you playfully. ‘Did you eat? Please tell me you ate something that wasn’t from a vending machine.’

‘Questionable airport sandwich,’ you confessed. ‘Does that count?’

She groaned, tilting her head back to look up at you properly. ‘Tragic. Utterly tragic. My manager, starving.’

‘Suffering for my art. Or yours, rather.’ You smiled down at her, a soft peck on her lips. ‘Pretty sure falling asleep fully clothed in an armchair is also tragic.’

‘It’s method,’ she insisted, though her eyelids fluttered. ‘Preparing for the inevitable tour bus naps.’ She tugged you further into the room, towards the unmade bed. ‘Come on. Lie down before you fall down. You can tell me all about the horrors of corporate synergy later.’

‘Only if you promise not to fall asleep mid-sentence again.’

‘No promises, book boy.’ She yawned, wide and uninhibited, then grinned, teeth flashing briefly. ‘But I’ll try. Mostly.’

You let her pull you over. The room felt suddenly small, contained, just the two of you in the dim lamp light. Her hand felt warm, fitting easily back into yours, like it had never left. Heaven, you thought. This quiet, hand-held kind. No rain required. Just her.

She steered you towards the rumpled landscape of the queen-sized bed. ‘Okay, ditch the jacket at least. You look like you’re about to audit the mini-bar.’

You shrugged out of it, letting it fall onto the back of the armchair she’d vacated. You eyed the bed, then glanced back towards the door, towards the silent hallway and your own room waiting just across it. ‘Maybe I should—’

‘Nope.’ She cut you off, shaking her head firmly. Her hair swayed. ‘Don’t even finish that sentence. You’re not going anywhere.’

‘Asa,’ you started, trying for reasonable. ‘We have separate rooms for a reason. Protocols. Appearances.’

She flopped dramatically onto the bed, bouncing slightly. ‘Protocols went out the window somewhere around “feed it to me slow,” didn't they?’ You felt a hot rush along your cheeks. She patted the space beside her. ‘Besides, who’s gonna know? The Hotel Room Police? Are they doing spot checks tonight?’

A small laugh escaped you. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘And you’re tired,’ she countered, her gaze softening just a fraction. ‘And probably need a shower. And definitely need sleep. Which you won’t get if you’re pacing around your sterile little room wondering if I’m okay over here.’

You couldn't argue with that last part. Remembering the phone calls, the things said, the barriers evaporated line by line over bad connections and late nights… staying across the hall felt suddenly artificial. Pointless, even.

‘Fine,’ you conceded, sitting on the edge of the bed. The mattress dipped under your weight. ‘But if someone from the label does a surprise inspection at 3 AM, you’re doing the talking.’

‘Deal.’ She grinned. ‘I’ll tell them you were giving me emergency vocal coaching. Very, very quiet coaching.’

You ran a hand through your hair. ‘Need to brush my teeth first. Didn't even unpack that far.’

‘Bathroom’s through there.’ She waved vaguely towards a closed door. ‘Think there’s a spare toothbrush in the little kit thingy they leave. Unless you’re bringing your own extensive dental hygiene setup?’

‘Just the basics.’ You stood up, heading for the bathroom. Inside, the light flickered on. Standard hotel fare. Tiny soaps, neatly folded towels. Her makeup bag sat open on the counter, spilling brushes and palettes. You found the complimentary kit, tore open the stiff plastic around the toothbrush. As you brushed, you noticed her worn blue toothbrush sitting casually in the holder next to where you placed the new one. A small, stupidly domestic sight. Like sharing a coffee cup, or leaving a book on a nightstand. Small offerings. Small acceptances.

When you came back out, she’d kicked off her jeans and burrowed under the duvet, leaving just her head and shoulders visible. She watched you approach the bed, eyes tracking your movements.

‘Comfy?’ you asked, pulling back the covers on your side.

‘Getting there. Are you a duvet hog? I need to know upfront.’

‘Never.’ You slid in, the sheets cool against your skin. You stayed on your side, a respectable distance between you. For about five seconds.

She immediately rolled closer, bumping her shoulder against yours gently. ‘Liar. You look like the type who builds a pillow fortress.’

‘Only when threatened.’ You turned onto your side to face her. The lamp cast soft shadows across her features. Her makeup looked smudged now, softer. Tired, but content.

‘Am I threatening?’ she whispered, voice playful.

‘Constantly.’

Her lips curved. ‘Good.’ She scooted a fraction closer, close enough now that you could feel the warmth radiating off her. Close enough to smell the lingering trace of her perfume mixed with the clean scent of hotel sheets. ‘This is nice, isn't it?’

‘Nice isn't the word I’d use.’

‘Oh yeah? What word would you use, book boy?’ Her eyes were bright, teasing, even in the low light.

You thought for a moment. ‘Finally,’ you said, finally. Quietly.

Her teasing expression faded. She reached out, her fingers lightly tracing the line of your jaw. ‘Yeah,’ she murmured. ‘That sounds about right.’

Silence settled again, comfortable this time. Just the faint hum of the air conditioning, the soft sound of her breathing close by, god, it sounded so good. Her eyes stayed on yours, a steady, curious gaze.

‘You gonna stare at me all night?’ you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

‘Maybe,’ she replied, equally quiet.

Your own eyelids felt heavy. The travel, the tension, the release of finally being here, with her. It was all catching up. But you kept your eyes open, looking back at her. At the curve of her cheek, the slight parting of her lips, the way a stray strand of hair fell across her forehead.

‘Good night. ’ she mumbled, her own eyes starting to drift closed.

‘You too.’

Her hand slipped down from your jaw, her fingers finding yours under the covers, lacing together loosely. A simple, grounding connection. You watched her face relax fully into sleep, her breathing deepening slightly. Even then, you kept looking for another moment, fixing the image in your mind. Asa, asleep beside you. Not across the hall, not miles away, not just a voice on the phone. Here. Necessary.

Finally, your own eyes closed. The darkness felt warm, welcome. Shared.

You opened your eyes, saw Asa first, breathing softly, eyes closed, lips almost protruding: cute. You looked around, the sheer curtain brought tumbles of foggy sunlight onto the starched blanket. 

When your eyes went back to Asa, her eyes were open.

‘Sleep well?’

‘Amazing.’

‘Mm. That’s good.’ Her hand softly landed on your jaw, caressing. She then shuffled forth, ‘I can’t believe it, that you’re here, on this bed.’ A kiss. Then another. Then all over your face.

You shared a kiss. Or two. You relished the rest.

It stands to reason, perhaps, that what was about to happen was overdue.

You wrapped your arms around her waist. Then her hands pushed your forearms down, lower, way lower than you originally placed them.

And all you could hear were the subtle breaths of Asa, getting faster, you think..

‘Lower.’ 

You felt red. You went lower. The swell of her backside—fuck fuck fuck—was supple in your hands. ‘Asa.’

‘Mhm. Keep going. I’ve missed out on a week without you.’

‘The video—’

‘Those don’t count. When your warm palms are not on me, nothing counts.’

That does it for you, frankly. You gripped hard, she squealed, you smashed your lips against hers—obviously, she’d call you brute after—then it becomes a race against time: how can you extend it? Can the pillowy softness of her just stay on you for more than a month atleast? Or a week! Even a day!

‘Stop thinking.’

Oh. Right. She’s right here.

You flip her over, right under you, pinned and trapped. Your limbs as bars. And you swear, to almighty and above, that Asa whispered finally.

You yield again to her touch, you slot yourself into her arms, between her legs, her arm a lock behind your nape. You should apologize to her, honestly, even the way she recoups herself under you is so fucking hot—her chest heaving, kiss-bitten lips, blooming red across her soft neck—sorry, Asa, sorry, you must hear my thoughts, right? For all it’s worth, I apologize.

‘Keep going.’ She huffs meekly.

‘You’re driving me crazy.’ 

‘I know. Keep going. Don’t stop. Let me go crazy under you. Own me.’ It’s grizzly, she has this effect on you, and you oblige, obviously. You devour her, more or less, you kiss her moist skin, the pink flush of her cheeks—why is it so pink?

Your hand slipped beneath her shirt. Nothing underneath. Her skin was warm, impossibly soft. You palmed the side of her breast, and her breath caught in your ear.

‘You said warm palms,’ you murmured, kissing along her jaw.

‘That’s one of the things I said,’ she breathed, arching slightly, coaxing your hand down, guiding it, greedy.

You trailed your mouth lower. Her body opened under you like a lit match in slow burn. She squirmed, impatient now, toes curling in the sheets.

‘You're really gonna tease me again?’ she asked, breathless, borderline scolding. ‘After all those goddamn phone calls?’

You grinned. ‘I’m making up for lost time.’

‘You’ll make up after,’ she growled softly, dragging you by your collar until your mouths met again. It was messier this time. Less orchestrated. More instinct.

Then: her hand slid between you both. She cupped you through your boxers—your aching hardness—no shame, no patience.

You froze.

‘You—you want this?’ you asked, breath ragged. ‘Now?’

‘You’re not my manager right now,’ she said, low. ‘You’re just mine.’

That about split you in two.

You kissed her hard.

Your hand slipped into her underwear. At the expense of her breathless broken moans, you felt around. She was wet already—how was she always wet? It drove you mad. She bucked against your hand as it hovered over her pussy, a shaky moan leaving her as your fingers curled inside her velvety heat. She grabbed your wrist and dug her nails in, like she couldn’t stand how slow you were going.

You felt her juices collect along your finger, completely covered, like honey, like a glaze that you were aching to taste. It’s this goddess right here, under your arms, seized, and convulsing as you fingered her into oblivion.

‘I’m gonna—’ she choked, already unsteady, lips parted, eyes fluttering. ‘Oh fuck. I’m gonna—’ She was whimpering, bucking, choking up, breaking right under you, from your fingers. Holy fucking shit. You buried your face into her neck as you worked your fingers fast and deeper.

‘Come for me,’ you whispered. Arms certainly straining—but of course: anything for Asa.

And she did. Hard. Legs shaking, voice cut to delicate ribbons. ‘Ngh!’ An entire wetness covered your hand wrist-deep.

When she came down, she blinked up at you, completely dazed, hairs stuck to her forehead in little criss-crosses and curls and somehow absolutely perfect. ‘You’re gonna kill me one day.’

‘No,’ you said, dropping kisses over her eyelids, down her cheek. ‘Just gonna keep breaking you a little.’ 

‘You make that sound romantic,’ she teased, lazy now. Wrecked.

‘It is,’ you said. ‘You’re mine. And I’m gonna prove it.’

You spread your wet hand along her sunlight-covered chest, and she let you, protruding her beautiful chest; you let her know, each swipe along her chest, sternum, just outside her areolas: look at how much you came, look at it, you naughty girl.

‘Open your mouth.’

‘Yes.’ She obeyed. Short circuit.

Her tongue pressed flat against your nectar-covered hand, diligently tasting… diligently tasting herself. Fuck.

Then you kissed her. God, she tasted good.

‘Review?’ She asked, all looney.

You burst out laughing, then she followed soon after.

‘Highest possible rating.’

‘Hm. I figured.’

‘One more kiss,’ you almost beg.

‘You like it that much?’

‘Take a hint, Asa. I love everything about you.’

Perhaps, that was the longest kiss of them all. Then:

You moved down.

She looked down at you, eyebrows lifting.

‘Wait—again?’

‘You owe me from last week. I didn’t forget that one call where you cut me off halfway. Something about “soundproofing,” remember?’

Her eyes widened. Her laugh was half-winded. ‘Oh god, that.’

Her panties were gone as swiftly as possible. And there it was, in all its glory. Something you haven’t seen, ironic given how far along you both are. Pink, glowing with her slick, absolutely transcendent. Your pants were about to burst. You were about to wrap ribbons of prayer just for the way it was pearlescent, so delicate; yet your fingers were inside there, misshaping it; you were really getting her pussy to come on your fingers. Holy shit.

You bowed, in prayer, between her thighs.

You looked up at Asa. Pink flush all over her cheeks. Broken in her moans, in her voice, in her euphoria.

‘Mhm.’ You kissed the inside of her thigh. ‘Now be quiet for me. Let me collect.’

You grinned when she clutched the sheets.

You grinned harder when she said your name like it hurt.

You slid your hands under the backs of her knees, pushed them gently toward her chest, opened her up. She gasped.

Then you tasted her.

Soft, slow at first. Long licks, riding up from bottom to top, along her delicate folds, her swollen nub—Lord almighty the sounds she made. Her hips lifted. The first moan was half-choked, too much too fast, but she didn’t ask you to slow down. Her fingers laced into your hair and held. Your name slipped out like a plea, then again, sharper, breathless.

You locked your arms under her thighs. Anchored her. Let her grind against your mouth, desperate and greedy. Let her ride it.

‘Fuck—fuck, I—’ her voice cracked like glass. ‘I’m gonna—oh god—’

You didn’t stop.

You flattened your tongue and pressed harder. Swirled when she twitched. You were methodical. Hungry. She tried to lift her hips off the bed entirely—run from it, maybe—but you gripped tighter, pulled her back. Stay right here.

And then—

She shattered.

Her thighs clamped around your ears. Her whole body jolted, a drawn bowstring suddenly loosed. The sheets under her soaked instantly.

She’d squirted.

You didn’t move. Just held her through it. Tongue gentler now, coaxing. Let her come again, smaller this time, still twitching under your grip.

When you finally looked up, her face was flushed, stunned.

‘Oh god. Your face.’ She burst out laughing again. ‘I don’t know if I should be embarrassed or what! Look at your face!’

Then, the soft air made you feel the chill of the wetness across your face. She squirted all over your face. Your grin didn’t drop a single time.

She laughed. A breathless, shocked thing. ‘I think you short-circuited me.’

‘I’m glad. So glad. My Asa. Goddess.’

She hummed positively, still out of breath.

You kissed the inside of her knee. Then trailed your mouth down her shin—the firm, quiet perfection of her shin, the skin smooth and just slightly cool to the touch. She twitched under your lips, involuntary, but didn’t pull away. You kept going, unhurried, kissing down to her ankle. Firm. Beautifully angular. You lifted her foot.

She blinked. ‘What are you—’

You kissed the arch. Pale. Sensitive.

She gasped, a little laugh bleeding through. ‘That tickles—’

Then her sole. Baby pink. Almost glowing under the low lamplight. You kissed the ball of her foot, the soft rise just beneath her toes. Then slower, more deliberate, your mouth passed over the heel, the in-step, the barely-there lines that mapped her skin. The taste of her—clean, skin-warm—something that should’ve felt silly but didn’t. Not at all.

‘Oh my god,’ she whispered, almost giggling, breath catching unevenly. ‘You’re insane.’

‘Worship,’ you murmured. ‘Every part of you.’

You moved to the other foot, taking your time. Letting her feel it wasn’t just performance, or hunger. This was devotion. This was reverence. You kissed along the sole, each toe separately, letting them rest against your lips like petals. When you finally lowered her feet gently back to the bed, she looked up at you like something in her had been rearranged.

Like maybe something just clicked.

You crawled up over her again. Her chest was rising, falling. Her breath shallow, trembling. Your hips brushed hers. You felt it instantly—heat. Wet.

She felt you too. Stiff against your boxers. The whole length of you pressed to her thigh.

‘Oh,’ she said, the word leaving her like a slow exhale. ‘Oh, you’re—’

You leaned in until your forehead met hers. She could probably feel how fast your pulse was beating.

Her hand slipped down between you both, knuckles brushing your stomach, then cupping you through your underwear. She stilled. Her brows arched.

‘You’re—fuck, you’re huge.’

You just smiled, lips ghosting her cheek.

She hooked a finger under the waistband and tugged. Her eyes flicked up to meet yours.

‘Unsheathe the sword,’ she whispered, mock dramatic, her voice still breathy, still half-lost.

You laughed. Soft and hot against her jaw. ‘You’re ridiculous.’

‘You like it.’

‘I love it.’

So you did. You slipped out of your boxers, your cock springing free and flushed. Heavy with need. She inhaled at the sight, visibly stunned, and you couldn’t help but bite your lip just a little as you looked down at her—sprawled, open.

You reached between her thighs. She was soaked. Slickness smeared easily over your fingers, thick and warm. You pressed the head against her, dragging it slowly through her folds, teasing, wet sounds slicking the air between you.

She whimpered.

Then you lined up, just barely pressing in.

‘Now?’ you asked, voice gone low and cracked.

She looped her arms around your neck. Wrapped her legs around your waist. Pulled.

‘Now,’ she said, and her voice cracked too. ‘Finally.’

You pushed in.

Heat. Pressure. Tight.

She gasped—or sobbed—you weren’t sure which. Her arms clutched at your shoulders, nails raking instinctively.

‘Ngh—’ you grunted, barely able to breathe.

‘Are you okay?’ she whispered, like her whole body was trying not to break in half.

‘Ke—ep going!’

And so you did. Inch by aching inch, your cock slid deeper, parting her, stretching her. Her walls clenched around you—not resisting, but trembling, adjusting. Wet enough to glide, tight enough to ruin you.

You looked down, watched yourself disappear inside her. You weren’t even all the way in yet.

‘Fuck—you’re perfect,’ you breathed.

She couldn’t answer. Her eyes were glassy, locked onto your face like it was the only stable thing in the room. Her fingers gripped the back of your neck, anchoring herself.

‘It’s too big—’ she whimpered, voice barely audible.

‘Slightly above average,’ you corrected her, through grit teeth.

She blinked at you. Then giggled. Actually giggled. The sound was sharp and breathless.

‘Oh wow. First guy to undersell himself.’

‘First guy?’

She looked at you like you were adorable and stupid at once.

‘You’re my first. Don’t be silly.’

That landed like a punch wrapped in silk. You stopped moving.

‘Right. Right. I’m sorry,’ you whispered.

‘Don’t be,’ she said. Her lips curved, the sweetest thing. ‘Just go slow. Don’t stop.’

You kissed her again. Gentle. So soft your lips barely moved. And you pushed deeper.

She arched, biting her lip hard.

You were inside her now. All the way. Pressed to the hilt. Her warmth swallowed you, wrapped around you, soaked every nerve in your body.

You stilled. Let her catch her breath. Let your body feel it. The twitch of her thighs, the tremble in her calves wrapped around you. The way she gasped every time you moved even a fraction.

‘I’ve got you,’ you whispered. ‘I’ll go slow.’

‘Don’t be too nice,’ she whispered back. ‘I want to remember this.’

You started slow.

Your hips rolled forward, careful, reverent. Her arms curled around your shoulders, legs still hooked loosely around your waist. She gasped into your neck—not in pain, not surprise—but that soft sound people make when something hits too deep and too right.

You pulled back, slow and steady. Watched the way her body clung to you, slick with need, her folds parting like they wanted to keep you inside. Your cock dragged out of her inch by inch, shining with her wetness, and when only the head was left, you paused—just to feel the tremble run through her thighs.

She looked up at you then.

Eyes glassy. Hair stuck to her cheek. A flush blooming across her chest and neck like watercolor bleeding through fabric.

You kissed her nose. Her temple. Rested your forehead against hers.

Then you eased back in. One long, slow thrust that made both of you exhale at the same time.

She let out the quietest whimper.

‘That feel okay?’ you whispered.

She nodded, eyes still closed. Her voice came small. ‘More than okay. You feel… full.’

You kissed her again—barely a brush of lips—and moved.

In and out.

In and out.

So slow the bed barely moved. Just the soft rustle of sheets and the gentle slide of skin against skin. The wet sound of her body welcoming yours over and over.

You looked down between you, where your hips met hers, and watched the way you disappeared inside her. She was so slick, your cock moved like it belonged there—gliding through the tight heat, collecting every drop she gave you.

‘God, baby,’ you breathed. ‘You’re so wet.’

She bit her bottom lip, bashful and burning.

‘It’s your fault,’ she murmured. ‘You look at me like that, and I melt.’

You grinned, chest warm. Leaned down and licked along her collarbone, tasted the salt on her skin.

Her hands traced your back, fingertips trailing over the curve of your shoulder blades. Her nails didn’t dig yet—they just clung.

‘You’re perfect,’ you said, the words leaving your mouth like a prayer. Not planned. Just true.

She blinked up at you, startled by how soft you said it.

You moved again, slow but firmer this time, and she sucked in a sharp breath.

‘Keep doing that,’ she whispered. ‘Please. Just like that.’

You did. Deep and steady. Her inner walls tightened each time, fluttering like she didn’t know whether to hold you in or pull you deeper.

‘I love feeling you like this,’ she said, breathless. ‘I can feel everything.’

You kissed her jaw. ‘Me too. You feel like… heaven.’

She laughed, barely a sound. Then kissed you back, and moaned into your mouth as your hips rocked again.

Her legs squeezed tighter. You picked up just a little speed. The rhythm, still careful, still full of affection—but heavier now. Like your bodies were writing something together.

Then she gasped suddenly. Her nails bit into your skin. Her mouth found your shoulder and she moaned right against it.

‘Harder,’ she whispered. A plead. A confession. ‘Please. Please.’

You didn’t even think.

You grabbed the back of her thigh and slammed into her.

She cried out—not pain. Release. Her hands flew to the headboard, bracing. Sweat-slick. Flushed. Feral.

You drove into her like you were punishing the week apart. Each thrust deeper, harder, shaking the bed against the wall. Wet sounds filled the room, loud and obscene, her slick coating your cock in excess.

‘Fuck—fuck—you’re so deep—’ she gasped. Chest sweat-slicked, glowing. Utter euphoria. Feral.

You grabbed her wrists. Pinned them above her head with one hand. Your other braced beside her, keeping your weight just barely off her chest. Your hips never stopped moving.

‘You said you wanted to remember this,’ you growled. ‘You will.’

She nodded frantically, head thrown back, eyes rolling up as you fucked her into the mattress. You leaned in, your mouth to her ear.

‘You’re mine,’ you said. You didn’t even mean to say it. It just ripped out of you.

‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘Yes—yes, yes, yes—’

You pulled out.

She gasped in protest—but you weren’t done.

You flipped her. Bent her over. Palmed the dip of her spine.

‘Arch more,’ you commanded, voice hoarse.

She obeyed instantly. Back bowed, ass high, thighs still shaking.

You sank back in, all at once.

She screamed into the pillow.

You didn’t ease up.

You grabbed her hips and held on, locked in, your thighs slapping against the backs of hers with each thrust. The rhythm was brutal now, relentless. You’d held back long enough. Her body welcomed it—hell, demanded it—soaked and twitching, each stroke punching wet sounds into the room like applause.

‘Fuckfuckfuck— you’re gonna make me—’ she gasped, voice nearly strangled by the pillow.

You leaned in, weight bearing down, grabbed a fistful of her ass and slapped it. Once. Firm. Just enough to send a sharp ripple through her.

She yelped, a noise of shock and heat all at once.

‘Come again,’ you growled. ‘Do it. I want it all over me.’

She obeyed—or maybe she just couldn’t help it.

Her whole body seized, back bowing, her thighs locking against yours as a jet of wetness sprayed out from between her legs, coating your skin, soaking the sheets. She sobbed into the pillow, a high, helpless sound, twitching like her body couldn’t handle it.

You didn’t stop.

You couldn’t stop.

You gripped her hips tighter—she was trying to crawl away, overwhelmed, overstimulated, every nerve lit—but you reeled her back like she was yours to claim.

‘Fuck—baby— I—fuck, you’re still going—’ she wailed, voice cracked open.

You didn’t answer. Just leaned over her back, chest against her spine, and pressed your hand between her shoulder blades. Not hard. Just enough to keep her down. Her cheek flattened against the sheets. Her hands clenched the comforter in fists.

‘You said you wanted to remember this,’ you rasped into her ear. ‘I’m making sure you do.’

‘Already wrecked—’ she sobbed, voice thick with surrender.

You reached for her hair and pulled, slow but sure, until she was forced to lift her face, eyes red and wet and wrecked as she looked back at you.

Tears on her cheeks. Mouth parted.

God, she looked divine.

‘Say it,’ you told her. ‘Say you’re mine.’

She didn’t hesitate.

‘I’m yours,’ she cried, desperate. ‘I’m fucking yours—just don’t stop—please, don’t stop—’

You drove into her like a man possessed. The sound of your hips slamming into her ass echoed off the walls. The headboard tapped the drywall with every stroke. Your name fell from her lips over and over, broken, begging, delirious.

Her legs shook.

Her body quaked.

She was so wet, so impossibly tight around you, the slick suction of her pulling you in deeper, deeper, like she didn’t want to let go.

Then her hand slid back, blindly, fingers reaching for you.

You grabbed her wrist, pinned it against the small of her back, her body arching under the pressure. Completely helpless. Herself offered up to you, willingly, wantonly, begging for the ruin.

And you gave it to her.

Everything.

You could feel it building—fast, violent—the pressure burning up your spine, into your ribs, your grip on her hip tightening, fingers digging bruises.

‘Please come,’ she begged, voice raw, soaked in need. ‘Inside. Please—I want to feel it—need it—’

You were right on the edge.

Your thrusts faltered, hitched. Your jaw clenched. Muscles locking.

You slammed into her one last time—deep—and held there, buried to the root, shaking.

Then you came.

Hard.

Ropes and ropes. You swore. Loud. Her name. God’s. Yours. Didn’t matter.

Every drop spilled inside her, her pussy milking you, clenching around you like she didn’t want to let you go.

You pressed your body down, still inside her, your forehead to her shoulder, your hand on her hip. The only sounds were your breaths—hers shallow and wrecked, yours ragged and uneven.

You pulled out slowly, and she whimpered at the loss—her pussy so spent, so tender, that she flinched at the shift in pressure.

You collapsed beside her. Hooked an arm around her middle and pulled her back into you.

Your cock twitched between you both, still half-hard, wet with the mess you’d left behind. It didn’t matter.

She was shaking.

Not from fear. From everything. From all of it.

You kissed her shoulder. Then the back of her neck. Then again.

Gentle now. Like you were reminding her you were still you.

Still hers.

Still here.

‘You okay?’ you whispered, hand slowly brushing her side, up and down in soft strokes.

She didn’t answer right away.

Then: ‘I can’t feel my legs.’

You laughed. Weakly. Kissed her again. ‘Good.’

She laughed too. A breathy, ruined thing.

‘We need…’ she mumbled. ‘A towel. Or five.’

‘Room service’ll think we committed a crime in here.’

She turned her face into the pillow. ‘We did.’

You held her tighter. Still catching your breath. Still high on the scent of sweat and sex and Asa. And her laugh, now lazy and gleaming, like everything was exactly where it should be.

‘You’re not going back to your room, are you?’ she mumbled.

‘Not even if it caught fire.’

‘Good.’

She twisted a little. Found your mouth again. A soft kiss this time. Messy and warm.

You were already hardening again.

She noticed.

And grinned into the kiss. ‘You’re insatiable.’

‘You’re to blame.’

‘Lucky me.’

—

She made a weak sound from where she was flopped across the bed like a marionette with the strings cut.

‘Ow,’ she mumbled into the sheets. ‘My everything.’

You limped back over. ‘I told you to hydrate.’

‘I did. Like, two sips.’

‘That’s not hydration. That’s mouth rinse.’

‘Then carry me to the bath, hydration police.’

You blinked. She didn’t look at you—too busy face-planting deeper into the mattress—but you saw the lazy little grin forming.

You exhaled, dramatic. ‘You’re lucky you’re cute.’

‘Strong words from a man walking like a baby deer.’

You scooped her up anyway.

She yelped—then clung to your shoulders like a koala. ‘Wait, you’re actually doing it? Oh my god.’

‘I am a gentleman,’ you said, wobbling slightly. ‘And you smell like sex and victory.’

‘Hot.’

‘Yes. Hot, and also sticky.’

‘Okay now it’s less hot.’

The bathroom was still fogged from earlier. The steam clung to the mirror. You set her down on the edge of the tub while the water ran, testing the temperature with your hand.

‘Are you seriously gonna draw me a bath?’ she asked, eyes wide. Teasing. But also just a little touched.

‘Gotta soak the goddess,’ you said, rinsing your hands off. ‘Divine women don’t loiter in their own post-orgasm wreckage.’

‘Stop it.’

‘No.’

You poured in a little of the cheap hotel bubble soap. It frothed up fast. She reached out and popped a bubble, grinning.

‘I feel fancy,’ she said.

‘You are fancy.’

You leaned over and kissed her shoulder. Then helped her step in, holding her steady as she lowered herself down.

‘Oof. Hot. Good hot. God-hot.’

She sank deeper with a soft sigh, head resting against the tile. Her knees just barely broke the surface. You pulled up the little stool from the corner and sat beside her.

She cracked one eye open. ‘You’re not getting in?’

‘This is your bath. You’re the main character.’

‘That’s sweet. Stupid. But sweet.’

You wet a washcloth, gently wrung it out, and started running it along her arms.

‘You don’t have to,’ she said, a little quieter now. Still smiling, but there was something behind it.

‘I know.’

She didn’t argue after that. Just let you.

You dragged the cloth along her collarbone, over her shoulder, down her arm again. Slow. Careful. A little clumsy, but trying.

She closed her eyes. Relaxed under your touch.

‘Do you do this for all your artists?’ she mumbled.

‘Only the ones who squirt on me twice and then collapse in a heap.’

‘Twice?’ Her eyes opened again. ‘You’re bragging now.’

‘Just documenting history.’

She giggled, lazy and soft, bubbles sticking to her collarbone.

You trailed the cloth down her side, then gently lifted one leg out of the water, resting her ankle on your thigh. Her foot was slick and warm. You kissed her arch, just because.

She stared at you, stunned for a second. Then blinked. ‘Okay. That was unfair.’

‘What was?’

‘Being all… this. Domestic and filthy. Worshipping me like I’m Aphrodite after brunch.’

You kissed her ankle this time. ‘Well. You are.’

She stared a beat longer. Then laughed.

‘You’re a menace.’

‘And yet here I am, washing your toes.’

‘You’re so in love with me.’

You paused. Looked up at her.

‘I am,’ you said. No theater. No drama. Just true.

Her face did that thing—like she wasn’t sure whether to cry or kiss you or splash water at your face just to reset the tension.

She settled for a quiet, ‘Okay. Yeah. Me too.’

You squeezed her ankle, then reached for the shampoo.

‘Tilt your head back.’

‘You’re really gonna wash my hair too?’ ‘Let me spoil you. I’ll invoice you later.’ She leaned her head back. You poured a little shampoo into your palm and massaged it gently into her scalp. She made a noise—somewhere between a hum and a moan. Eyes closed, face slack. ‘You’ve done this before,’ she mumbled. ‘Nope. Just winging it. Manager instincts.’ ‘Remind me to renew your contract.’ ‘With a raise?’ ‘With everything.’ You grinned, rinsed her hair gently, carefully shielding her eyes with your palm. Later, when you helped her out and wrapped her in a towel, she kissed your shoulder and whispered, ‘Thank you.’ Not teasing. Not playing. Just her. Bare, warm, soft. You held her a little longer than necessary. Let the steam wrap around both of you.

The End

a/n: .............................idk

[writingsforfandoms-multi]

unwell | jack abbot x nurse!reader

requested prompt: “your complexion is scaring me, please sit down”. original request

warnings: medical inaccuracies, mentions of surgery 

From the moment you woke up, something didn’t feel right. 

You felt a small ache in your stomach, but you brushed it off thinking it was probably just something you ate yesterday. You noticed the pain was coming and going in waves, and in hindsight maybe you should've called out, but you didn’t want night shift to be short staffed. Well, more so than night shift usually was anyway. 

You took an ibuprofen before you entered PTMC, and you honestly forgot about the pain until a few hours into your shift when the pain came back in full force while you were talking with Dr. Ellis. You winced as you held your lower abdomen, “fuck” you said softly under your breath

Dr. Ellis’s eyebrows scrunch in concern, “you good?” 

“Yeah, just a little pain” you say as the pain starts to subside

Before she could ask you when the pain started, you were called away to answer a patient’s call light. You were leaving the patient’s room when you heard jack call your name on your right, “hey jack” you smile through the pain, going to your locker in the opposite direction to get another ibuprofen, not realizing he was following you

“Ellis mentioned you were in pain, what's going on?” he asks, concern in his voice as he eyes the ibuprofen you took out of your bag 

You shrug it off, “it’s nothing really, my stomach has just been hurting today, probably just cramps or something I ate” 

“How much ibuprofen have you taken today?” he asks, his thoughts thinking of all the questions he wanted to ask you, his mind thinking of all the potential diagnosis.

“I took 500mg before coming in, and now I’m taking 500mg more” you said as you take the medicine 

“When did you first notice the pain?” he asks

“Right when I woke up, doctor” you tease, pressing your hand against your lower abdomen as you get a wave of pain

“Rate your pain” his eyebrows scrunch together as he notices you grimace

“Right now it's like a 4” you say, and he gives you a quick look when you wince again

“So it’s really like a 7” jack amends, knowing that you were trying to lowball your pain 

“I’m fine, really” you insist 

He narrows his eyes, “okay, but let me know if the pain gets worse, okay?” he asks softly

“Okay, Dr. Abbot” you smile and he gives you a quick kiss on your forehead 

The ibuprofen didn’t seem to help as much as it did earlier when you first took it. You were standing at the nurse’s station, taking a minute for the nausea to pass when you feel someone tap your shoulder, making you look up into Jack’s eyes 

His eyes sweep over your face, “okay your complexion is scaring me, please sit down” he says as he leads you around the counter and into a chair. 

He grabs one of the carts to take your vitals, “describe your pain” he says as another wave of pain rolls through you 

“Like a sharp, stabbing pain” you said, and hold your lower right abdomen in hopes of relieving some of the pain, but it only makes it worse, “okay pressing it makes it way more painful” you wince 

“In your lower right quadrant” he notes as he finishes taking your vitals, “your blood pressure is elevated, so is your heart rate” he places the thermometer in your mouth and once he takes it out, he sees you have a mild fever. “Do you still have your appendix?” he asks 

You nod through the pain, “okay, I want to give you an abdomen exam” he says as he starts to see what room was open

“No really jack it’s fine I’ll just go to urgent care after shift” you say, not wanting to be a bother or take the bed from someone who has been waiting for hours to be seen

“If it’s your appendix you won’t be able to wait until after your shift” he gives you a look as you refuse to follow him into the empty room. “Okay, what if I just give you a quick abdomen exam and if it isn’t your appendix, fine, I’ll even go to urgent care with you afterwards” he compromises

You think about it for a moment, “fine” you relent and follow him into the empty room and lay down on the bed while he dons gloves. How could you say no when he looks at you with those eyes

“Can I?” jack asks, albeit a bit shyly, as he gestures towards your top to lift it up to expose your stomach. you give him a reassuring smile, you had never seen him shy like this before, he was always so sure and so confident, it was nice to see him a little nervous. He always made you nervous anyway

“sure” you nod and a light blush overtakes your face. He gently takes the end of your scrub top and lifts it up just below your breasts.

“I’m going to gently press down here okay” he says, his fingers lightly pressing down on your right lower abdomen, making you grimace. He quickly removes his finger, “sorry  sweetheart” he says softly, “can you get in the position to check for the psoas sign?” with a nod, you get on your side and extend your leg, wincing again 

“Okay, so positive mcburney's point and positive psoas sign” he says as he gets the ultrasound machine, “we’ll confirm with an ultrasound instead of a CT” he grabs the jelly, “it’s gonna be a little cold” he warns 

Once he looks at the screen, he sees an enlarged appendix and confirms it, “it’s appendicitis, luckily we caught it before it ruptured, I’ll put you in line for surgery, you’ll be next” he goes to the computer to put in the information 

You sit up in the bed and go to stand, “okay, I need to go finish up my chart-” you don't even get to finish before jack is shaking his head and lightly pushes you back on the bed 

“Nope you’re not getting out of this bed, I’ll bring you a computer, and let the charge nurse know” he sees you about to refuse and quickly continues, “and no buts, okay? This can get pretty serious pretty quickly and we don’t want it rupturing or even rupturing while you’re with a patient” he reasons and you relent, he had a fair point

“I hate it when you’re right” you say under your breath and get back in bed with a huff, but you give him a small smile when he grabs your hand in his. 

“I know you do baby” he indulges with a grin. 

–

potential for pt. 2, tbd :)

the pitt masterlist

[musicalnobody]

The Ghost You Fed - Ch. 1

bunny hybrid!reader X cane corso hybrid!simon "ghost" riley ⋆ Call of Duty ⋆MDNI⋆ 4.2k words ⋆ 18+, explicit in future chapters ⋆ tags to be added as story progresses ⋆

⋆ pinterest board ⋆ AO3 link ⋆ next ⋆

Summary: Being a service animal is all you've ever known, being spoiled as a treat for all you do for your owner. So what happens when you see something, or rather someone, you can't have? (Inspired by 'it will come back' by hozier)

Tags: pov second person, no use of y/n, eventual smut, kind of icky simon, stalking, past character death, reader is so spoiled, drug dealing, dog fighting, breaking and entering, semi-public masturbation

A/N: WOOOO NEW FIC TIME!!! To give a little heads up, I will be using italics to indicate sign language between the reader and her owner. There isn’t going to much of a description for the reader, but your hair is fairly long, and your ear and tail color are mentioned, you are also chubby bc come on, a little old lady with a hybrid? She’s gonna fatten you right up. In this universe hybrids have ears, tails, and some have claws and canine fangs. Heats and ruts also exist within this universe but without the whole omegaverse thing. The rest you’ll figure out along the way!

Being a service animal was easy enough. Tell her when someone was at the door, translate when you were out in public, comfort her when she was having a rough day, and in exchange you got pampered. It truly was an easy life.

Agnes had adopted you when you were just a kit, only five years old. She wasn’t fully deaf at the time, able to start teaching you sign language at a young age. She was the kindest woman you had ever met. Her hearing had fully deteriorated when you were 12 years old. Crying for hours at a time when she finally broke the news to you, never being much of a tough one.

She still tried her best to teach you all that she could, cooking and cleaning as well as hobbies like reading, writing, and crocheting fun little projects. You were quite spoiled, and you knew it, having you own room but preferring to sleep at the end of Agnes’ large bed, having a whole closet filled with frilly outfits, getting to be paraded about outside.

Your crème-colored fur doesn’t get dirty anymore, baths becoming a part of your routines. Agnes brushes your hair afterwards, having you sit in front of your vanity while she does. You always feel so special when she does this, especially when she gently grabs your droopy ears to brush out as well, leaving them all fluffy for you. When Agnes starts entering you in beauty pageants, you’re over the moon, pleased that your owner thinks so highly of you. You learn tricks, you show them how competent you are, how nice your coat is.

You display the awards proudly in your room.

Despite being out so often, Agnes didn’t have many friends. Just a couple childhood friends who would visit every now and then, her kids living on opposite sides of the country. They would have tea parties, none of them having hybrids of their own so you were left to bask in their attention. The scratches at your ears and tummy were what you lived for.

You were never bad, always following the rules and orders around the house, helping when needed. You were an easy bunny to take care of, Agnes couldn’t of asked for better. You had gotten your service animal papers the day you turned 13, and Agnes had given you a frilly vest that she had hand-sewed so everyone would know that’s exactly what you were. You wore the vest until the day the seams ripped, and it wouldn’t go over your arms anymore. That’s when she made you a new one.

It was a rainy day, one reserved for baking. Today, you had decided to surprise Agnes with Manchester tarts, some of her favorites. These bite sized deserts had a shortcrust pastry shell spread with raspberry jam, covered with a custard filling and topped with flakes of coconut and a Maraschino cherry. They made the whole house smell like warm raspberries and pastry, something you certainly weren’t complaining about.

You sat up in your room, brushing out your hair after deciding what to wear. Since you weren’t going outside, you decided on a frilly pink top with flowers decorating it, a short white layered skirt with white bloomers under it, and two pink lacy garters sitting atop your thighs. You wore dangly earrings with pink raspberries on the end, as well as a pearl necklace with a matching charm that went well with your pink collar sitting around your neck, proudly displaying your name. You quickly put some mascara on and some lip tint, popping your lips in the mirror. A chill went up your spine and you flicked your eyes to gaze behind you in the mirror, attributing it to the wind from your open window.

You walk downstairs, seeing Agnes knitting you a pink and white striped sweater on the recliner. Going up to her and tapping her on the shoulder, you tell her what you’re doing.

“Going to make us treats today” You signed as you smiled. You watched as Agnes returned the smile and nodded, indicating that she was going to continue knitting. You skipped off to the kitchen, since you were a bunny hybrid, you were only about 5 feet, and that was on the taller side. This meant that you often had to use the stool to grab different ingredients. You looked behind you again as another chill went up your spine, but this time there wasn’t a window open. You chalked it up to the heating not being high enough after not seeing anything.

Throwing the flour, diced butter, white fat and icing sugar together, you began the pastry. Mixing in the water, you then let it set for 30 minutes, idly watching the tv. When the timer finally went off, you leapt up, running to the kitchen. You opened the window behind you so the kitchen didn’t get too hot when you turned on the oven, setting a towel in front so that rain didn’t get on the floor.

After pre-heating the oven to 190°C and putting the baking beans in the tart, you twirled around and put the tart in the oven for another 20 minutes. After taking the baking beans out and letting it cook for another 7 minutes, you took it out and spread the jam along the bottom, sprinkling the coconut atop of it.

You made the custard, boiling the mixture and adding vanilla to taste before pouring it through a sieve. You stirred it for a few minutes, letting it cool, before pouring it into the tart. You sprinkled the top with the rest of the coconut before setting it out and letting it cool. These desserts were something that Agnes had spent plenty of time teaching you how to learn, so much so that you could do it by heart at this point. You set the timer for four agonizing hours and then pranced over to Agnes, kneeling beside her chair to receive the occasional pet as you began your own little crochet project.

⋆🐾⋆

Simon had known the streets long before he knew the regimen of the military. When his mother had passed and his brother fell into drugs, he left. Hybrids like him weren’t treated too kindly, as he wasn’t easily trainable, he wasn’t as obedient and desperate to please like some of the others. Simon found spots in alleys, abandoned buildings, and the occasional hybrid-friendly motel if he saved enough money. But that never lasted long.

When the military found him, he’d had a run in with some old “tamers” that were trying to capture him, he had fought back and paid the consequence, long lashes scattering his arms and back. Price had taken him right under his wing. Teaching him how to be a proper K-9 unit, watching him surpass that and being let on the field without a handler. Being able to be trusted with gun. Everything was going great for Simon. Until the death of his best friend.

Soap’s passing had left such a vengeance in his heart that he was forced to be honorably discharged, they feared what a man like him would be able to do if set off. They had tried to get him housing but nowhere would take his breed. The only option being those damned trainers and underground hybrid fighting rings. Simon quickly realized he could make a quick buck by entering these fights. Learning that he didn’t need a handler when he already knew how to fight. He had plenty of offers, but always snarled at them, telling them to fuck off, that he knew what he was doing.

So, there he was, a world-class soldier now turned into a common stray. Resorting to illegal fighting and other ventures to line his pockets. There was a fresh bruise blooming under his eye, the last fight ending just a couple hours ago. Simon would find a place to sleep for a few hours before moving again, not wanting to stay in one place for too long.

When he woke up to the rain, it was just another day for him, though he noted he would have to stop by a laundromat for his current clothes, thankful for the extra outfit in his backpack. It was early in the morning when he was hopping the roofs of the city. Most of the lights down because of the weather. It wasn’t until he stopped to catch his breath that he noticed the house across the street.

A small baby blue house sat in his line of sight, a lamp illuminating a room on the second story. Having been perched at the far end of the building across the street, he crept closer to the edge. That’s when he saw it, or rather, you.

You were brushing your hair with a brush that looked straight out of the Victorian era, like you were a princess. You were sitting in front of your vanity in an outfit that had Simon snarling. The garters that were sitting on your thighs were things he wanted to take off with his own teeth. He sat there, staring at you as you brushed out your, oh. Oh. You were a little bunny hybrid. He hadn’t noticed your tail tucked under you before, or your floppy little ears until you pulled them out to brush. If your window wasn’t open, Simon would’ve started to howl, but for fear of scaring your owner, let alone you, he didn’t.

He watched as you shivered, ducked as you turned to look out the window. His call sign proving its significance at this moment, his ability to disappear within a blink of an eye. He peeked his head back up, watching as you left your room and bounced down the stairs, truly getting a grasp of how small you were. He groaned, long and heavy. You were perfect. Your skirt was tantalizingly short, bloomers covering what he wanted to see most.

When he lost sight of you in the living room? Well, it was time to move. He snuck down, thankful for the bushes that surrounded your house, and peered in. He noticed your hands moving animatedly until it actually hit him. You were signing. Your owner was deaf. Simon quickly thanked whatever God was out there that he had less of a chance of being caught if he was howling, less chance of getting caught when sneaking around. He watched as you went into the kitchen, moved to the window next to him so he could see you better.

Simon was aware this made him nothing short of a creep, but he was addicted to you. He watched as you stood atop your stool, watched as your body realized someone was staring at you while he ducked down. The thrill was enough to get his breathing ragged, grateful that there weren’t windows open next to him. Popping back up to watch you throw together the dough, hiding when you opened the window next to him. Staring intently as you waited right next to your owner, wanting it to be him giving you all the desperate pets you wanted. The smell of your baking was starting to become more prominent as you put the pastry in the oven.

He could smell the raspberry jam being spread on the tart, matching your cute little earrings that he was getting a close eye of. He watched as you sprinkled the coconut on the tart before starting on the custard. The smell was fantastic, and Simon had a pretty good idea of what you were making by now. A Manchester tart. He hadn’t tasted one in years. His mother had used to make them when he was younger, holiday dinners and such. He was damn near ecstatic when he realized that’s what you were making, already looking for the weak points in your house.

⋆🐾⋆

Waiting for the tart to cool was agonizing. No matter how much crocheting you could do or how much music you could listen to, you were moping around the house bored. Agnes took pity on you, looking down at you as you tapped your foot against the ground,

“Impatient, love?”

“I just know they’re going to taste so good!” You signed back, emphasizing your words by making fireworks with your hands. Agnes simply chuckled before ruffling your hair.

“Good things come to those who wait” Her famous line being signed as you went to lay back down, continuing your little project as you waited for the timer to go off.

When the timer finally pinged, you jumped to your feet. Grabbing the pie slicer, you cut the tart into 10 equal pieces, dishing out you and Agnes a piece. Grabbing your signature mini fork and handing Agnes her piece, you dug in.

Your teeth sunk into the tart, a happy noise coming out of your mouth, it was delicious. The buttery crust melted on your tongue, the tart raspberries pulling it together, and the coconut adding a hint of extra flavor. “It’s so good” You signed to Agnes as you continued to eat. Agnes simply smiled at you before grabbing a slice of her own, making her own noise of happiness when she sunk her teeth in.

“I think you’ve learned how to make it better than me.” Agnes signed back at you, a look of proudness on her face. You smiled, big and wide, happy to please your owner so much. This was the best Manchester tart you’ve ever made, and you knew it. Putting the rest in Tupperware and putting it into the fridge, you shut the door gently.

“I’m going to go take a bath!” You signed to Agnes before bouncing upstairs, opening the door to the bathroom. Opening the window a tad, you started to strip your outfit off, making sure you had 2 fluffy towels to welcome you when you got out. You started filling the tub with hot water, just a bit hotter than comfortable so it wouldn’t get cold too fast. The large claw-foot tub held you easily as you stepped foot in the hot water. You sighed heavily and swung your other foot over, gently setting yourself down.

You began your routine by shampooing your hair and ears, the strawberry shortcake scent starting to permeate the room. You lathered your hair until it was soapy, scrubbing at your ears gently. You went to rinse your hair and felt the familiar chill down your spine despite the water being hot. You wanted to close the window, worrying that that was the problem, but you know the room will get too steamy if you do, so you decide to leave it open.

You then moved onto conditioning your hair, the matching scent adding to the smell in the air. Your hair and fur instantly felt silkier, the bubbles now surrounding you. You grabbed your scrubbing brush and put your vanilla scented soap on it before beginning to scrub yourself down. Using your hands on more sensitive areas, you traced over the area lightly, mewling softly.

Draining the water and closing the window, you pattered over to your room. Putting on a cute little matching set with a sheer pink nightdress on top, you pranced around the house feeling like a princess. You skipped down the stairs to see Agnes. Who simply smiled at your appearance, your hair still drying.

“You look beautiful my dear.” You smiled right back at her, all teeth and giggles. You pranced over to the cabinets, once again grabbing the stool to grab one of your pink bowls with white bunnies all over it. You set the bowl on the counter before grabbing the tub of neapolitan ice cream and scooping 3 large spoonsful into your bowl. Putting the tub back before grabbing a spoon and glancing at what Agnes was watching

It was one of her soap operas, a tale of a hybrid and her handler who lived out in the country, escaping from the crime they were used to. In this particular episode, the avian hybrid was being approached by a large feline hybrid from the opposing organized crime group, you tried to avoid the screen, the scene starting to cause you anxiety.

“More sweets?” Agnes signed as she smiled warmly at you, making sure you knew she wasn’t being judgmental. You nodded, offering her a bite before trotting back upstairs.

Sitting on your bed watching tv, you were kicking your feet in the air as you shoveled spoonful after spoonful of ice cream into your mouth, letting out little mewls and moans at the delicious taste. The movie was just starting, an old silent fairytale that you had seen over and over. Despite the film being old, there were still hybrids in it, having them be the two helping hands that assisted the soon to be princess in getting ready. The scene made you happy, not often getting good representation in the media, hence why this was a comfort film.

But your mind started to become occupied with other things, the movie not holding your attention very well. You tried to write in your diary, writing about how you had baked for the day, coming up with ideas on how to modify the Manchester tart. You wrote about how nice your bath was, how you needed to get more bubble bath solution. You wrote about all the mundane things that happened throughout your day, talking about how you were excited for the summer trip only a few months away, really trying to wind down.

That was until a too familiar chill slipped down your spine again, and you had enough. You stomped overed to your window, thankful that Agnes wasn’t able to hear your steps, and glared out into the open sky.

“Will you stop that!” You said loudly, looking at the moon as the rain that had been pouring down all day continued.

⋆🐾⋆

Simon crept around the house for another hour, successfully finding the back door unlocked and a way to access the upper roof so he could peek into your window. He would come back once the Manchester tarts were done cooling off. For now, he had stuff to do. At least, that’s what he told himself as he tore his body away from the window.

He was a simple man; he had to make money somehow. At least, that’s what he told himself as he gave the next sorry soul another dose of whatever high they were after. If the military could see him now, they’d be ashamed, but pushing drugs was an easy and quick fix. It wasn’t weird to wear hoods that hid his ears and masks that obscured his face, especially when he was dealing with heat suppressants, some of the most illegal drugs on the market.

When hybrids first started appearing in the general market, heat and rut suppressants were encouraged, often being prescribed when a hybrids cycle was especially rough or aggressive. But as more side effects got added and other alternatives were created, they slowly withdrew from popularity, now only being used as heavy birth control. There were also multiple brands that were illegal, brands that Simon was all too familiar with.

While he also pushed “normal” drugs such as coke or weed, there was a much higher demand for suppressants. The more he sat and thought about his profession, the more he thought about you. Wondering if you even had a heat anymore, or if they took your glands away from you when you were deemed unfit to be anything more than a pet, yet another solution they had come up with.

Simon had been offered the surgery when he first entered the military, but he flat out refused. He didn’t like his ruts, as they often fell under the aggressive category, but he would often have someone accompany him or at least keep him locked up. He had found someone that he consistently spent his ruts with, and that’s when the military’s offer came to taunt him, asking after the death of—

He shook himself out of his train of thought, busying it with you again. How your room had been covered in bows and frills, pink and cream, florals, a princess’s dream. How although not in a great part of the city, your house was still perfectly put together. So fitting for the two of you. The yellow and white kitchen looked like it came straight out of a 1950’s nostalgic catalogue, and suddenly he was imagining himself behind you as you baked sweet treats for them.

He was yet again getting too far ahead of himself, hell, he didn’t even know your name. Strays like him weren’t welcome in homes like that, he didn’t have the manners to stay within that little home. He would sink his teeth in to rip and tear at the seams. He would destroy anything he touched. And with him not being a proper working dog, well he just couldn’t let you into this life. That’s when he decided he would stay far, far away from you. Watching you only when it was safe to do so.

After three agonizing hours of wandering around the city collecting clients and thinking to himself, Simon realized that he could return to your neighborhood, return to his bunny. Ducking into his position in the overgrown bushes, he watched as you placed the first bite into your mouth, hearing the faint sound of your overjoyed squeal at the success of the pie. Your voice was a melody he was already getting accustomed to, wanting to be the reason why those sweet sounds came out of your mouth.

He watched as you finished your slice of the tart before signing something to Agnes and bounding up the stairs. It was his time to strike. Pushing open the window his was ducked under, Simon hastily climbed into the kitchen, his hulking body making too much noise for his comfort, once again grateful for Agnes’ lack of hearing.  He quickly swung open the fridge door to grab one of the Tupperware containers before dipping right back outside.

It wasn’t until he made his wander into the backyard that he realized what you must have signed to Agnes. A bath. You were bathing yourself. He couldn’t see much from the backyard, thanking the cramped alleyways of Manchester allowing him to climb the roof of the house behind yours. Giving him a perfect view into— Oh.

The bathroom window was slightly ajar, enough for the faint smell of strawberries to drift over to Simon’s nose and fuck was he already planning how many pups he was going to give you, wondering if they would be little kits or pups, wondering how you would look so round and— Christ you had a way of doing that to him. Making him space out and dream about realities that could never happen with a mutt like him. Not someone so dirty. Nor someone so depraved.

He watched as you washed your hair, taking extra time with your ears, not being able to rip his eyes off you. He glanced away when you washed your body, still wanting to be respectful to you, but you made it difficult. The second he smelled that sweet vanilla body wash he came undone, writhing on the roof before tearing himself away from the picture of you, finally giving you privacy.

He walked back to the house that was across the street, perching on that roof as he ate the Manchester tart. He had to bite his tongue from letting out an overjoyed howl at the first bite, it instantly bringing him back to his childhood. He devoured it in only a couple bites, not having the patience to savor the treat. He would have to remind himself to take another slice tomorrow, before the two of you ate it all.

When he was finished with the tart, he glanced into your room, only to be shocked to see you sprawled out on your stomach in a sheer pink nightgown, kicking your feet back and forth as you ate your ice cream, one treat not enough for you. He growled quietly; you looked simply divine. Cream colored bikini cut underwear with rows of frills caressing your ass, a matching bralette holding in your pretty tits. The sheer nightgown did little to cover you, having little accents of cream-colored lace as well. It just barely covered your ass, leaving so little to the imagination that it had Simon fuming.

But then you were writing in that diary, and all Simon could think of was those pouty lips around him, how silky your hair would be around his calloused fingers, how soft your skin would be. And when you called out into the night? Trying to get his prying eyes off you? Well, he just couldn’t stop himself from cuming right into his hand, wishing he had cum into your pretty little mouth instead.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

taglist:

@hughjackmanadict

[loganficsonly]

Logan smut where reader and Logan are in an established relationship, shes a mutant too and right after him and Wade save the timelines, she gets mad because she thought they were both dead, then Logan spends the whole night with some “I’m sorry I scared you” sex

MMM THISSSS

this is hot but i've modified it so that the relationship between mutant!reader and logan happens afterwards? i just can't imagine the logan we see in dp&w having an established relationship 😭 sorry, though i don't think this little detail matters much in the writing below!

thank you for sending this in <3

"i thought i lost you" sex with worst!logan

gn!reader, 1.4k (it's poetic that each part is 701 words lmao) WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI please this is smut!!!, rough sex, slight angst, injuries/mentions of injuries and blood, established relationship, reader has mutant powers (sound manipulation), reader has hair, UNEDITEDDD we die like johnny storm being skinned by cassandra AUTHOR'S NOTE: i don't think i knew exactly what i was doing here... hope this doesn't disappoint

If he's the one who got seriously hurt:

He comes back home, blood on the suit. His, theirs, it doesn't matter anymore. It shouldn't have been that close of a fight, that much he knows.

You stare at him as he closes the door to your shared apartment, fingers numb from being curled into worried fists. He kicks off his boots and unzips his suit, not meeting your eyes.

You watch quietly. He doesn’t need heightened senses to detect the tension in the air.

He stands in front of you, naked save for his pants, as if trying to placate you with the sight of him unharmed. See, he’s fine. Nothing to worry about. He heals. He’s alive.

But when he finally looks at you and sees the mix of emotions burning in your eyes, he knows it’s not enough.

They’re red. Have you been crying?

 You finally speak. “It was supposed to be three days,” you say quietly.

His heart sinks, hears your bare feet close the distance between the two of you. Your words are spoken through gritted teeth. 

“You were gone for seven, Logan.” 

Before he can wrangle a word out of his dry throat, he feels your arms hug him tight, and quickly returns it, stroking your hair.

Then there’s wetness on his chest—tears. Your tears. He made you cry. 

“Sweetheart,” he rumbles, trying to put the words together in his head, but he’s not even sure what to say.

You lean up, kissing him. It’s soft and tentative, like he’ll disappear if you push further. His larger hands cup your face, holding you in place as he deepens the kiss, thumbs brushing the tears off your cheeks. 

“Tried to echo-locate you,” you whisper between kisses, “b-but couldn't—didn’t know if you were alive or dead—”

His hands wrap around you tighter. “Honey, I’ll only be dead when you are,” he shudders against your lips, “till then, I ain’t gonna leave you alone.”

It’s slow. He lets you set the pace. Allows your hands to trace the veins on his arms while he kisses you dizzy, like you don’t already have them memorized. Tips his head back to make room for your lips on his throat, chest heaving with need.

Delicate brushes of your lips gradually turn to open-mouthed kisses on his skin, as if making sure this is really your Logan. 

As the heat climbs, he rids you of your clothes, hands sinking into the familiar plush of your flesh after knowing only death for so long. God, you’re soft… His eyes zero in on the way his fingers grip your thighs.

When you sink yourself on top of him, his blood rushes with emotion, a strangled groan escaping him. Warm. Tight. He wants more. 

There is a familiar sensation then. The shrinking of space, or rather the space of sound. You’ve blocked it out, like you sometimes do when you’re intimate with him.

The silence is loud when it hits him—no more traffic, no more construction. Not even the buzz of electricity remains within the tangle of your bodies. Only the sounds of your labored breathing as you try to fit all of him, his broken grunt when he feels himself bottoms out.

Just you and him. The outside world no longer exists.

“Fuck, honey…” he purrs, feeling you clench around him. 

Hazel eyes are dazed and dilated, but you feel their intensity as they burn, taking in the sight of you perched on his thighs. There’s a sheen of sweat that makes you glow, hair sticking to your face, your hands on his chest. 

“Logan,” you whimper, a thousand emotions bundled into those two syllables. I was so scared. I thought I lost you. Please don’t leave me.

He shushes you gently, palms snaking up to your waist, urging you to grind on him.

It only takes you one taste of that sweet friction. There are no more tears now. No more fear or anxiety. You feel full—figuratively and literally.

Moans entangled when you do. The friction is salvation, proof that the two of you are here, together. He pulls you in, mouth on your jaw, fingers on your chest, and then he thrusts up into you.

“A-ah—”

“I’m home, sweetie, I’m home.”

If you’re the one who got seriously hurt:

He was there with you on that same mission. When your body dropped to the ground it felt like his life was over.

From there it was static. The noise is drowned out and he can’t even hear his own roar. A blur of checking your vitals, carrying you someplace safe, cleaning you up.

When you come to, the first thing you notice is a sharp ringing in your ear. No doubt the aftereffect of the device they specifically put there to disable your powers.

And then a few things all at once. You’re in your apartment, on your bed. Your body seems fine, only minor cuts littering your arm. But the world still looks too bright, your bones too heavy, and your head groggy.

Logan is by your bedside, arms crossed while seated in a chair, head lolled forward. Asleep.

“Logan…?”

Just like that, he snaps awake, a guard dog triggered by a keyword. He scans you up and down, as if some new injuries might have manifested in you while he was out of it. You smile sheepishly. 

“I’m okay,” you groan, sitting up against the pillows. No pain. That’s good. “Geez, I should feel special. Who would’ve thought they’d prepare a sonic reverser just for me?”

“You shouldn’t have been there.” His voice cuts sternly.

“Wha—”

“Could’ve died,” he barks, rage knitted onto his face. You freeze.

His hand moves, placing it against your jaw, tilting your face to meet his as he rises from the chair. 

“But I didn’t—”

In a swift movement, he’s on top of you, the bed sinking with his weight. Arms cage the sides of your head as he sinks into the crook of your neck, all lips and teeth. You let out a surprised moan while he sucks on your throat with the intent of leaving a mark.

The look he gives you when he pulls away is wracked with guilt.

He doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t need to. You understand.

So you let his body press against yours, drag his lips all over yours, snake his hand up your shirt. It’s overwhelming, but it’s him. The warmth of his palm, the scent of his shirt. Him. 

Fingers work on your clothing, desperate to feel more of you. You’re naked under him, and he leans in immediately, lips on your chest, hand on your waist and between your legs.

You mewl, feverish with pleasure as he uses a hand to pleasure you like it’s his right. He’s unforgiving, relentless, mouth pulling away from your chest to watch your face as you squirm and writhe under him.

He makes you cum with his fingers twice, only giving you a moment to breathe once you’re ruined. Cheeks flushed, voice hoarse, sweat misting your skin.

Then he flips you over, laying you on your stomach, a hand locking both your wrists above your head. Your breath hitches as he tugs at your hips with his other hand, lifting it high in the air before parting you and—

“Oh my god,” you cry out, voice muffled by the pillow when he sinks his inches in.

You feel his chest against your back, panting against your ear as he pulls back before snapping his hips into you. You moan again, feeling like it’s too much, but it’s not nearly enough.

He takes you just like that, body glued to yours, claiming you with each roll of his hips against yours. You’re left babbling unintelligible noises of pleasure beneath him, too far gone to mind your own voice.

At one point when he lets your wrists go to tug at your hair, making you arch, you let out a loud “ah!”—to which he’d have teased the shit out of you and told you to mute the room for the outside world, but not this time.  

This time, he doesn’t care if the two of you get evicted.

Logan doesn’t stop until you’re a mess, pumped full of his cum, devastated by desire. He grunts as he pulls himself out, dilated pupils examining the bite marks he’s left on your shoulders and upper back.

“Not gonna let anything happen to you again,” he murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

[ceoofglytchell]

A Monster‘s Bride

Summary: In the middle of the war, you are urgently called to Harrenhal to finally fulfill your duty and wed the Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen. However, you have heard what man he has become and the haunted halls of the ancient castle are not the only thing you are afraid of.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Baratheon!Reader

Word count: 5737 words

Warnings: MDNI, Angst, brief dubcon, Reader has Baratheon features, unwanted touch, mean!Aemond (at first), arranged marriage, dark fic, brief suicidal thoughts, secret longing, Alys Rivers making a cameo, brief smut at the end, no mention of Y/N

Notes: My first ever solo Aemond fic! I hope you like it! Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Enjoy 💛

The first time Aemond Targaryen kissed you was the night he became a kinslayer.

He was supposed to choose one of the daughters of Lord Borros Baratheon of Storm's End to marry. He looked at all of you, all of your sisters, and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips.

You were the last.

You had watched him kiss each of your four sisters for a few seconds, but he never showed any reaction. Except maybe with Maris, when he grimaced afterwards.

And then he finally leaned toward you and pressed his lips against yours, his hand resting on your cheek. You stood still, not knowing what to do because you had never been kissed before. By no one. Not even by the stableboy you had liked for a while.

But the prince did not lean back as quickly as he had with your sisters. He sighed against your lips and ran his long fingers through your hair. When he finally pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, you could feel that he had found his answer.

"What is your name?" he whispered, out of breath.

You whispered it to him, and only then did he lean back, a small smile playing on his thin lips. It was the first and last time you would see him smile.

"Well, my prince? I hope one of my daughters is to your liking," said your father, who sat on his throne not far from you, scrutinizing you with eagle eyes.

"I want her," he replied simply, placing a hand on your shoulder, whereupon Lord Baratheon laughed softly.

"My youngest. She inherited her mother's beauty. I assure you that she will make a good wife for you."

Prince Aemond leaned back and let his one violet eye roam over your figure. He did not know how your mother had looked like, but she must have been beautiful. You were by far the most beautiful of your sisters. Long, raven-black hair, pale skin, a light blush that spread across his cheeks, and full lips that begged him to kiss them again. You proudly wore the colors of your house—black and yellow—and looked at him like a small, shy fawn.

He knew immediately that he had made the right choice.

"Please, speak to her. Even if she is quiet, I assure you she has a tongue," Lord Borros laughed, making a hand gesture that indicated to your sisters to step back.

Gently—too gently for a man of his status—he took your arm and led you a few steps away from your father's throne.

"Tell me of your interests, my Lady Baratheon," he demanded, but he did it in such a gentle tone that it did not sound like a demand. He gave you the illusion of a choice.

You hesitated, but then gathered your courage: "I enjoy reading, my prince."

Something flashed in his eye, recognition or perhaps interest. "What exactly?"

"Poetry, my prince. History and philosophy I enjoy as well," you answered him, looking down at the ground beneath your feet. The stone was cold and wet, as it often was these days.

"And beyond? Besides literature. What else excites you?" he asked you, his one watchful eye boring into your soul.

You were just opening your lips to answer him when you suddenly heard the sound of armor striding through the door. The guards had arrived, and among them was a young man—a boy.

He was brown-haired, wore a sword at his hip, held a message, and wore the colors black and red.

Your eyebrows furrowed in question, but you immediately noticed the prince's attention shifting completely away from you and his shoulders tensing.

You quickly learned who this boy was. Lucerys Velaryon. The boy who stole the eye of your betrothed. One of the many bastards of Princess Rhaenyra, who now wanted to be called Queen, even though her half-brother Aegon had only been crowned King a few hours ago.

A war was looming on the horizon, and the thunderstorm raging over Storm's End seemed to be only a harbinger.

"Give me your eye or I will take it, bastard!" your betrothed suddenly shouted, rushing toward the boy, but your father's loud voice held him back.

Lucerys disappeared as quickly as a frightened mouse, and Aemond adjusted his eyepatch, which he had apparently ripped off his face while talking to his nephew.

You did not see it because his back was to you.

Arrax flew away over Storm's End, and the One-Eyed Prince hurried off.

There was no goodbye; planning the wedding had not even been a topic of discussion.

It was not until the next morning that you discovered what monster would soon be bound to you.

Your betrothed was a kinslayer and the one responsible for the war that was about to come.

Your sisters repeatedly examined you with pity and sadness. Even in the weeks that followed, when you heard no word from the prince, they all knew that the gentle deer would soon be in the clutches of a bloodthirsty dragon.

You became fearful.

Every time you heard a guard approaching your chambers, you feared that your betrothed had come to finally claim you as his wife.

You did not want to become his wife.

Even though you could not forget the feeling of his lips on yours and longed for a gentle hand to pull you in, you were afraid of the chaos he would bring.

But he did not come.

Not even a letter reached you.

You had started one once, but you simply did not know what to write him. Why are you not coming back? Do you still want me? Has the betrothal been annulled?

You barely knew him.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.

Your betrothed had now also murdered Princess Rhaenys and her dragon Meleys and now bore the title of Prince Regent. He was now on his way to Harrenhal to face Prince Daemon, who had already been residing there for a few weeks.

"My Lady! My Lady!"

The panicked voice of your handmaiden woke you in the middle of the night, and you sat up straight, your eyes wide and questioning.

"The Prince Regent—he has gone mad! He is burning down the entire Riverlands, and the Blacks have taken King's Landing! The king has fled, Rhaenyra now sits on the throne!" your maid explained to you, grabbing your shoulders as if she were trying to force the news into your body.

"What?" you asked her, not quite registering the words yet.

"Look!" your maid cried, jerking the curtain aside so you could look out the window.

And indeed—there were wisps of smoke in the night sky, and the distant sky was drenched red like blood.

You were the bride of a monster.

The very next morning, you emptied the entire contents of your stomach into the nearest pot at breakfast when a raven arrived with the news that the Prince Regent had slaughtered the entire House Strong.

Neither man, woman, nor child survived the massacre at Harrenhal.

You began to pray every morning, every night, that the Stranger would come for you. To you or your soon-to-be Lord Husband. You did not want to be held by hands soaked in blood.

You refused to carry the heirs of a madman.

Unfortunately, you had no choice.

The raven arrived a week later, just as the sun disappeared over the horizon, making way for the moon. Your father delivered the news to you personally.

"The Prince Regent wants you to join him at Harrenhal immediately," your father said in a monotone voice, your nails digging deeper into the leather cover of the book that lay in your lap.

"Did he write why?" you asked him, and although you tried to keep your voice as emotionless as possible, it still trembled.

"To secure the royal line of House Targaryen," Lord Borros replied, letting the small note that had been in the prince's blood-soaked hands just a few hours earlier fall into your lap.

You flinched. Slowly and carefully, as if his words contained a curse, you opened the note and ran your eyes over the dried ink.

The ink, too, looked like blood under the flickering candlelight.

The words were simple, but you could still hear his voice deep inside your head.

To Lord Borros Baratheon of Storm's End,

I hereby request the immediate presence of your daughter, my betrothed, at Harrenhal. With the pretender seizing the throne, the bloodline of House Targaryen hangs by a thread. Your daughter is needed to secure it. She will want for nothing.

May the Warrior give us strength in these times of war,

Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen

You dropped the note into your lap. Your hands trembled and you felt like you could not breathe.

"I will have your maids pack your things. A carriage will be waiting for you in the morning, daughter. Rest well," your father said before closing the door to your chambers behind him, leaving you alone again.

That night, lying alone in your bed, with the smell of your home spreading around you like a warm blanket, you considered opening the window and jump.

But were the Stranger's arms gentler than the prince's?

You closed your eyes, and in the far distance, in the cold ruins of Harrenhal, a cold-hearted prince did the same.

You dreamed of shadows haunting you. Of blood staining your dress, dripping to the floor, and carrying with every step. In your dream, you screamed when you saw him—his sword raised, flames surrounding him, his silver hair wild, his gaze mad, and his one eye resting on you and you alone.

The prince dreamed of gentle hands resting on his shoulders. Of a warm smile that could banish the cold of these corridors, and of a kiss he could not forget.

But you had one thing in common. You both awaited the morning. You with a heart full of fear, and he with a heart full of longing.

You hugged each of your sisters for several seconds before boarding the carriage. Cassandra waved goodbye to you, Maris turned away, Ellyn cried, and Floris embraced her tightly.

You were sure you would never see them again.

You traveled for thirty days.

After all, it was about seven hundred miles from Storm's End to Harrenhal, and you had to avoid King's Landing at all costs. The route took you and your guards from Storm's End northwest through the Stormlands, then through the southern Riverlands, which were still burning. The carriage passed Blackhaven; in the distance, you could see Tumbleton, from where you had continued southwest to Harrenhal.

The carriage stopped at two taverns along the way. The first was The Weary Traveler Inn, which was near a busy trade route. The food was good, and you were able to refill your water. You could also change and wash there.

On the outskirts of Tumbleton, you stopped at The Golden Stag Inn, which was even friendlier than the one before. You and the four guards who rode in the carriage to protect you stayed one night.

You knew it would be the last time you would see anything but blood and death, which is why you stayed late into the evening talking with some of the women who had sought shelter in the building after their homes burned down in the fire.

The fire your betrothed was responsible for.

You were not him and could not apologize for his actions, but when you finally left, you left behind a sack full of gold, which they would need more than you.

It was more than he would ever give.

The carriage bumped over the uneven ground, its wheels creaking under the weight of the ride and the strain. Thick fog surrounded them, creeping up from the shore of the Gods' Eye, and in the distance, the tall towers of Harrenhal loomed, almost like dark shapes, like the jagged teeth of a long-dead beast. The sun had not quite risen yet, bathing the ruins of the once-magnificent castle in a pale, sickly light.

The high stone walls loomed tall and imposing, while the ever-present whisper of the supposedly cursed place seemed to be carried on the wind. Everyone knew the rumors about this place. The dark expanse that dwelled within. You were sure that whatever dwelled there would quickly take a liking to you.

Hopefully, it would take pity on you and grant you a short stay.

As the carriage approached the gates, even the street seemed to grow colder, prompting you to pull your cloak tighter around your shoulders. The air felt stifling, heavy with the history of the recent atrocity that had begun there and the blood that stained these stones. The mounted guards rode in silence, their eyes scanning the shadows as if waiting for something—or someone—to emerge from them.

The gates of Harrenhal, massive and forged from ancient iron, loomed before you like the maw of a monstrous beast—a dragon. No banners waved here, no sign of life except the dark, watchful eyes that seemed to peer out of the broken windows in the walls. The only sounds were the muffled creak of the carriage and the soft shuffle of the horse's hooves as you reached the courtyard.

Your heart pounded in your chest. In the distance, beyond the walls, the faint call of a raven echoed through the silence. It was almost as if the air sensed something was coming. Or perhaps it was the castle itself—waiting.

No. It was he who was waiting.

You knew he was.

You took a deep breath before finally opening the carriage door and stepping out into the courtyard. The walls dripped, ravens flew over your head, but otherwise it was deathly quiet.

Your gaze wandered over your new home, where you would reside for the rest of the war, and then you saw him.

He stood high up on one of the balconies, engulfed in shadows. His pale hands gripped the railing as he looked at you and the intensity of his gaze gave you goosebumps and a lump formed in your throat. But then you noticed that he was not alone. A woman stood next to him.

You did not know who she was, but apparently he had let her live. The sole survivor of the massacre that took place in this very courtyard just a few weeks ago.

The realization that right where you were standing, people were being murdered in the most brutal of ways made your knees go weak. You stumbled to the side and would have definitely fallen to the ground if one of your guards had not grabbed your arm to steady you.

When you looked up again, the prince was gone, but the woman continued to look at you. Shadows played around her features, and for a brief moment, you thought you were staring into the eyes of death itself.

"Shall we escort you inside, My Lady?" asked the guard holding your arm. There was a hint of concern in his voice, and for a brief moment, you felt some warmth creep back into your bones.

The feeling immediately vanished when you heard hurried footsteps echoing across the stone floor.

"What is the matter with her?" The Prince Regent's sharp voice cut through the air, and when you looked up at him, you could see nothing but coldness in his one eye.

"I an afraid the journey has not been good for her, Your Grace. We have been traveling for a month," one of the guards explained to him in a calm tone.

Your eyes wandered to the sword hanging at his hip. Blackfyre. The sword Aegon the Conqueror once wielded, and which has already taken so many lives.

Vomit rose in your throat, even though you had not eaten anything that morning, and it took all your strength not to double over and empty the contents of your stomach right at the boots of your betrothed.

"Take her inside. She should rest," he instructed the guard, his tone leaving no room for questions, no opportunity for argument.

You looked up at him, and for a split second, you thought you saw a flicker of emotion on his face. However, it vanished as quickly as it had come, and you decided you must have been hallucinating.

"We will hold the wedding this afternoon in front of the Weirwood Tree. I will send for you."

A nod. That was all you gave him. Your arms brushed briefly as your guard led you past him and into the castle. You did not know which rooms were habitable or which were haunted by spirits from days long past. Let alone which room you would be sharing with your husband from tonight onward.

The mere thought of it made the fine hairs on your arms stand on end and sent shivers through your body.

"This one looks passable, My Lady," the guard said, giving you a cautious smile. At least there was one friendly person left within these cold walls.

"Thank you, Ser Garrick," you replied gratefully, closing the heavy wooden door behind you after entering the darkened rooms.

You could hear Ser Garrick walking down the corridor, and a soft sigh escaped you. You had never felt so alone in your life. Before, you always had your sisters, who annoyed you, but whom you still loved more than anything. Now you had no one.

You sat down on the bed, which was facing the wall, catapulting a load of dust into the air that made you cough. You slowly lowered your back onto the old mattress and looked up at the ceiling with tired eyes. Some shapes and symbols seemed to be carved into the wood above the bed, but you did not know what they meant. Your eyes suddenly became so heavy.

You blinked and suddenly you fell into a deep sleep.

The journey had probably just tired you out too much.

A sudden noise in the chambers startled you. The woman you had seen standing up on the balcony earlier was now standing not far in front of you. In her hands was a bowl from which steam rose. It smelled of tea, but something inside you doubted that this stranger would bring you tea just like that.

"Who are you?" you finally asked her as you cautiously sat up.

"I am Alys," she replied. She simply reached out and held out the bowl to you. "A tea to combat the tiredness from the long journey."

You hesitated as you accepted the bowl from her. Your fingers touched for a split moment, and not a second later, your hands began to tremble. It had suddenly become so cold.

"I have prepared a bath for you in the prince's chambers. You do not want to show up dirty at your own wedding, do you?"

"Are you his maid?" you asked instead, without answering her concern. The bath could wait. So could the wedding.

"Something like that," she answered, taking a few steps away from the bed you were still sitting on. "Drink. Otherwise, it will get cold and lose its potency."

You did not want to drink it, but for some reason, you did anyway. The liquid left a bitter taste on your tongue and burned its way down your throat. It should have felt soothing, but it did not.

"He let you live. Why?" you asked her, confused. The Prince Regent did not seem like a gracious man to you.

"I cannot say. I do not know what is going on in his head."

You nodded and took another sip from your cup. The tea stained your lips purple.

The woman, Alys, now stood with her back to you. Her hair was even blacker than yours, like the darkest onyx.

"But I told him I was once a wet nurse. Perhaps I can still be of value to you, My Lady," she said suddenly, and your hands immediately tightened around the wood of the bowl.

"It will be so lovely to hear these empty halls filled with children's laughter again."

You placed the bowl, still half full, on the bed next to you and stood up on unsteady legs. She was taller than you and quite a bit older, although you could not say exactly how old she was. She seemed infinitely old, yet young at the same time.

A dark suspicion spread within you, but you did not want to think about it right now.

"Where are his chambers?" you asked her, trying to make your voice sound as authoritative as possible. You were sure the attempt failed miserably because she turned to you with a knowing smile on her thin lips.

"Follow me."

Without another word, she walked past you and out the door, and you followed her with quick steps. The prince's chambers were not far from the rooms you had initially chosen. Alys opened the door, and you were amazed to see how well the room was. In fact, there was even a fire burning in the fireplace.

In the middle of the room stood a large tub, from which white steam rose into the air. The water seemed hot, and a smile crept involuntarily onto your lips. A healing bath was exactly what your muscles needed right now.

"Shall I help you undress?"

"No," you answered a little faster than necessary, to which the woman simply chuckled.

"Very well, My Lady. Your wedding dress is on the bed. Call if you need help getting dressed," she said, and immediately hurried back out of the room. The door closed with a loud bang behind her, before you could ask her how she would hear you if you actually called for her.

But you were now glad she was gone. She was frightening.

Your black dress with the yellow embroidery of little deer and antlers landed on the armchair in front of the fireplace, followed by your thin chemise and stockings.

The bathwater was still hot when you finally stepped in, and you could not help but sigh with relief. It felt a lot better than the tea, and you could immediately feel your muscles relaxing and a weight lifting from your shoulders.

But you were not relaxed. Not when you were about to marry the prince in the not-too-distant future. The white dress spread out in the middle of the bed was a constant reminder of that.

The bed. You did not want to think about what would happen right there later. On those sheets. Right where the dress lay, you would lie later.

At least you would be spared a bedding ceremony, you thought.

You washed yourself as best you could with the single bar of soap that was lying next to the tub. It smelled neither of roses, nor lilacs, nor any other scent you could identify.

You were not sure how long you bathed. All you knew was that as you dried yourself with an old, scratchy towel that smelled of old books, leather, and smoke, the sun was slowly setting outside.

It was almost time.

You quickly dried your naked body and untied your hair, which you had tied back to keep it from getting wet. You slipped into your undergarment, stockings, and shoes, and finally cleared your throat.

You opened the door a little and called for Alys.

She came in a few minutes later, and you were surprised to see that she had also done some tidying up. Her hair seemed more combed, and she was no longer wearing the dirty apron she had been wearing before.

"It has been a long time since I was last able to attend a wedding," she said simply, as she helped you step into the dress and tightened the laces at the back with nimble fingers. The bodice was so tight that you could barely breathe.

"Where did you even get that dress? I doubt there are any seamstresses left around here," you asked her, a hint of curiosity in your tone, trying not to curse as the older woman pulled one of the laces too tight again. It was almost as if she wanted you to suffer.

"It belonged to one of the Strongs. I do not remember which one," she said, smoothing your hair over your shoulders with surprising gentleness, letting it fall in soft waves down your back.

Your stomach lurched. You were wearing the dress of a dead woman.

Alys stood in front of you and placed her hands on her hips, examining her work. "He will like you. He has been waiting for you, you know? Told me about you in the nights while I made him tea."

Your eyes widened and you blinked. You did not know whether to be flattered or even more terrified than you already were. If he was waiting, then he had expectations. What if you could not fulfill them?

"He told you about me?" you asked, adjusting the sleeves of your dress.

The woman in front of you nodded her head, grinning. "He told me about the moment he chose you. He said you tasted the sweetest of all your sisters."

A blush flooded your cheeks and you immediately looked down at the ground. After all these weeks and months, he could still remember the taste of your lips? The feeling he had when he did it?

You could not believe this was the same man whose hands were soaked with the blood of hundreds of innocents.

"Are you ready?" her voice suddenly startled you from your thoughts, and you simply nodded.

Together, you both walked through the cold, empty, and wet halls of Harrenhal. Drops of water fell on your shoulder, you walked past a black billy goat, and you felt like thousands of eyes were staring at you, even though there were hardly any souls left in these halls.

The evening air was cold, but not unpleasant, when you finally stepped out into the courtyard with the older woman. Aemond Targaryen was already standing in front of the Weirwood Tree. The wind gently blew a few strands of his silver hair, and the setting sun cast a golden light on him and the tree, whose leaves shone red.

Only Alys noticed that the tree's face had finally stopped crying.

Next to the prince stood an elderly man dressed like a Septon of the Faith of the Seven. You wanted to ask where this man came from, since there was no Sept in the immediate vicinity, but you bit your tongue.

The Prince Regent seemed to have been waiting for this moment, and you did not want to ruin it. After all, you did not want to taste his wrath.

Alys let go of your arm and stood not far from you. Aemond's eye briefly flicked to the woman, and he gave her a nod- one of gratitude for her service.

"My prince," you greeted him, curtsying slightly to show his respect.

"My lady," he replied, extending a hand, which you hesitantly took.

You both turned to the Septon, who looked at you with an almost fatherly smile on his lips.

"We stand before the Old Gods, under the watchful eye of the Weirwood, to unite your hearts and your destinies. May you remain true to one another, in joy and sorrow, until the end of your days," the Septon began in a solemn tone. The wind in the courtyard began to shift, and it almost felt as if you felt a warm hand on your shoulder.

The older man pulled a red ribbon from his robe, which he carefully and patiently tied around your hands. Compared to the prince's, your hands were small and delicate.

He looked down at you, you looked up at him, and in that moment you thought you could see the ghost of a smile on his lips. Not a malicious smile or a cruel one, but a genuine one.

"You may speak now," said the Septon, once he had finished tying your hands together.

Aemond straightened his back and brought his other hand to your face, cupping your chin with two fingers so that you would not look away from him. He wanted to look you in the eye as he swore this oath to you.

"I am hers and she is mine," he spoke in a firm, confident voice.

For a moment, you just looked at him and swallowed the lump in your throat. A breeze flew over you, rustling the red leaves of the tree. From somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted.

"I am his and he is mine," you finally replied, but unlike his, your voice was soft and quiet.

It was a sound Aemond would call music.

The Septon placed his old, wrinkled hands over both of yours. They were ice cold.

"May the ancient gods watch over you, may your hearts be one, and may your love grow as old as the trees themselves," he announced, and even though you did not want to, you could not help but give your husband the slightest smile.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Your shoulders tensed, and Aemond sensed from the way your delicate hand twitched beneath his ever so slightly that you were nervous. He did not want you to feel that way in his presence. You were now his Lady Wife.

He leaned down slowly, carefully, as if you were a wounded deer that he now had to tend to: "Do not be afraid."

Your eyes moved down to his lips.

"I am not afraid," you whispered, a lie.

"Good. Because I do not want you to be afraid of me. Never, do you hear?"

You nodded your head. His warm breath brushed your cheek, and you instinctively leaned closer to him, seeking his warmth, while he could not wait any longer. Aemond closed the last distance between you two and pressed his lips against yours, while his free hand cupped your face.

Your lips were warm and soft, and you tasted just as sweet as he remembered. Fresh wild berries and something he would associate with you alone.

He sighed into the kiss, and you tentatively kissed him back, but that alone was enough to show him that you accepted him. You wanted him.

He only broke the kiss when he had no more air in his lungs, and even then, he rested his forehead against yours, for he could not bear to be parted from you any longer. Your breath came in short gasps, and your eyes roamed over his face, and for the first time, you saw him.

You did not see the monster that set the Riverlands ablaze, killed his nephew, and wiped out an entire bloodline. You saw the man behind it, and you found that you liked what you saw.

"Come with me."

Not a question, a command.

He untied the band that had been wrapped around your hands until just a moment ago and let it fall to the dirty ground in the shadow of the tree's roots, where the wind would soon carry it away. It would probably land in the Gods' Eye and disappear into the depths of the lake, never to be found.

Your husband intertwined his fingers with yours and led you, guided by his hand, back into the castle, where you already knew what awaited you.

Behind you, the Septon disappeared as if he had never been there.

Alys smiled and stroked her owl.

He was just closing the door to his—your—chambers behind you when his lips were back on yours.

"My prince—" you tried to say. "My husband, please."

"What is it, wife?" he murmured against your lips as he pushed you toward the large canopy bed.

He just could not stop kissing you. It was impossible.

"I need air," you protested, a small laugh escaping you. It was one of the most beautiful sounds his ears had ever heard.

His arms wrapped around your waist as his lips traveled down your neck, exploring every inch. Every single one.

„Better?“ he whispered as the backs of your knees touched the bed.

He gently bit into your warm flesh, eliciting a surprised gasp. No, that was his new favorite sound.

He wondered how sweetly you could else sing for him?

His hands smoothed the fabric of the white dress up your legs, desperate to get the fabric off you. He has been wondering for weeks what you would look like without it. Ever since the first time you kissed and you looked at him like a wounded little deer, he knew he could not resist you.

After arriving at Harrenhal, he had invited the witch into his bed to vent his frustration, but the moment her lips had touched his, he had pushed her away. Instead, he had talked about you.

The witch was a good listener, and that was why he let her live.

But he only wanted you.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and your fingers dug into his silky, silver hair, resembling the light of a full moon. The feeling sent an incredible heat through his chest, making him wonder if it had not been a dragon that had bathed him in flames, like he had the Riverlands.

He took satisfaction in the fact that they were still burning.

He pushed you down onto the bed and immediately climbed over you, his hands roaming up and down your curves, his lips exploring your neck, and you writhing beneath him.

You were about to lose yourself in his kisses and the feeling of his body's warmth when you suddenly felt his dagger pressing into your hip. The dagger he intended to use to attack his nephew, a sign of the violence and storm he carried within him.

Even now when he was laying with you.

The monster might have looked at you with a gaze full of gentleness, but it still slumbered within him.

The same hands that now touched you and ran over your body as if you were something precious had murdered and committed cruel acts just a few weeks ago.

His eye met yours, and he looked at you with such intensity that you could not help but lose yourself in him. You were a gentle breeze on a sunny day, he was the thunderstorm that followed.

He was what you were missing.

"Wife?" he asked you, his voice dripping with desire.

"Yes, husband?" you asked him, breathless.

"May I?"

He gave you the choice.

You nodded and he began to rip open the laces of your bodice with a sense of urgency and need.

And shorty after, when he thrusted in and out of you, your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock buried deep inside of your cunt, while he whispered of filling you up with his seed- you realized something.

Perhaps being loved by a monster was not as bad as you had thought.

The Divider is from the wonderful @zaldritzosrose !

Taglist: @bey0nd-1he-stars @sassypain @hisfavegirl @dahaenatargaryen @sylasthegrim @danytar

[nicksolemnlyswears]

COMFORT ME, STAY WITH ME

pairing: aegon targaryen x targaryen!reader

word count: ~1.6k

warnings: spoilers for s2e2 of HoTD, mentions of murder and death of a child, surprisingly i thinks there isn't any cursing or smut, maybe next time ;) just good old sad aegon

a/n: this is my first time ever writing for HoTD or GoT for that matter. please be kind to me. i tried to use appropriate wording for the time period. i'm somewhat successful but i have work ahead of me to become a pro.

i felt so enraged when alicent walked out on her grieving son to go fuck around with cole. what the fuck is your problem? i always gave her the benefit of the doubt but this episode just proves what a terrible mother she is. i figured the only person fit to comfort my baby boy aegon is someone raised by rhaenyras gentle heart.

lowkey want to make a throuple out of reader, aegon, and helaena. readers gonna be a little psychologist lol. she'd hold their hands and force them to kumbaya haha but obviously they'd be like this cant work without you. maybe they'll follow aegon the conqueror and have her as a second wife but idk would anyone be interested in that? i'm rambling. enjoy!

Helaena’s Turn

STAY WITH US

The cold stone of the Red Keep kept you company as you strode through its halls. The breeze of the night offered you comfort and aided your mind to forget the terrible events that have plagued the Keep.

And yet, despite your energies being depleted, you can't seem to find rest. Loss weighs you down and spirals you into a depth of overbearing thoughts, making sleep a mere idea.

The Red Keep, the place you once called home, has become your prison. For weeks, you were not allowed out of your chambers, and for a short time afterward, a guard followed you wherever you went.

It has all changed, though. The death of the King's son has diverted all of the guard's forces to find the culprit. The priority is to search for the monster that gruesomely and cruelly decapitated a child while he slept rather than to watch over a harmless Princess who is simply not on their side.

As a result, you're now free to roam the castle, granted there are eyes all around. You wouldn't be able to step foot outside the castle if you tried, and any suspicious activity would immediately be reported to the Hand of the King.

For an unknown reason, your feet guide you to the King's chambers, where indiscernible, muffled sounds come from. You look around and find that the guard meant to protect the King is absent. It's worrisome. You stand in the middle of the stone hallway, your hands clasped, as you make a decision.

While your loyalty lies with the Blacks, you cannot stand and watch more of your family be killed, including the Usurper. Daemon has always been 'kind' in mentioning that your gentle heart will cause your death. You'd argue it's an honorable way to go.

You slip through the ajar door quietly, getting closer to the sound. There is destruction across the room. The Old Valyria model your grandfather worked on for most of his life is scattered on the floor, beyond salvation. Goblets and spilled wine, thrown in a fit of rage, decorate the walls.

It is only when a sharp gasp and a shuddering breath echo around the room that you recognize the sounds you heard outside. They are cries.

You release a breath of relief. No one is in danger, although it does not signify someone is not hurting. You peak further into the room and debate on your next course of action. If the mess inside the chambers and the lack of guards mean anything, it's that the King would like to be alone.

But you know Aegon. You grew up with him. He's not one to reach out for help until it's too late. You make a haste decision. Aegon will not grieve alone tonight.

You know what that's like. Your brother, Lucerys, was murdered not too long ago, and you had no choice but to mourn alone. The Hand of the King locked you in your chambers, afraid your temper would lead you to do something drastic. It's the most horrid thing you've ever endured.

How you wished for Rhaenyra, or anyone for that matter, to hold you while you cried. A maid would've sufficed, but no one was allowed entry into your chambers.

Aegon sits by the fireplace, his head hung low, as he cries for his dead son. It might not have looked like it, but Aegon deeply cared for the boy. He wished to be better than his father ever was, and he was succeeding.

Until two days ago.

You've witnessed firsthand the blanket of sorrow that has covered the Red Keep, spent many hours by Haelena's side, offering her your shoulder, and never realized the King would need the same.

Why is Aegon alone? He should not have to go through this by himself. You expected he would have surrounded himself with his men and countless bottles of wine or sought refuge in Helaena's arms since they shared the same grief.

A heartbreaking cry snaps you out of your thoughts—his whole body trembles from loss. Aegon gasps for air to aid his burning lungs, yet he can't control the tears that track down his cheeks and the raking breaths that course through his body and limit his breathing.

He does not know what to make of himself. His fingers shake as he fumbles with the ring on his finger—the one with the dragon crest. Aegon doesn't know what to make of himself. He's never endured this sort of loss.

His sobs are the ones of a man who lost a part of himself. Jaehaerys, his legacy, has gone too soon. Aegon spent time with the boy the morning before his death, doting on him like Viserys never did to him.

He's so lost in his grief that Aegon doesn't hear when you stumble upon a piece of cast from the model. Being careful with your steps, you reach Aegon's side and place a hand on his shoulder.

Alarmed, he turns to face the person who disturbs him, only to find you—you who have been keeping the Hightower siblings together despite belonging to the other side.

"Leave me be," he sniffs, staring back into the fire. He wonders if that's how his son's pyre looked earlier that day.

You kneel on the floor, settling between his legs to cup his cheeks in your palms. Wide, glossy lilac eyes stare back as they fill with more tears.

As his tears fall, you wipe them away. It's enough to make Aegon crumble in your arms, releasing louder cries and questions that will forever remain unanswered.

It's so easy to let go when you know someone is there to catch you.

Aegon fists your dress like a child would to its mother. You rub his back soothingly, holding him as tightly as you're able. You press a kiss to the side of his head, whispering calming words.

Aegon never wanted to be king, yet the moment he tries to fulfill his duty the moment he tries to be a proper king, he is rewarded by his son being brutally taken from him.

It's not a fair world. The Gods have never been kind to him, and he's afraid he'll only ever live a life of torment.

Now, more than ever, he doesn't want to be King. It is a mere reminder of how heavy the crown truly is. It's a shackle meant to keep him in place while others act upon his name while he pays for the consequences.

"Jaehaerys was a bright soul. I am sorry this has happened. You should've never had to experience this pain," you whisper in his ear. No parent should experience the death of their child. It is a sad reality the Targaryens have experienced all too well.

Aegon nods in agreement, and only when he's calm enough to speak does he tear himself away from your embrace. He instantly misses your warmth and the smell of roses in your hair.

"Why are you comforting me when you should be celebrating my demise?" His waterline is stained red, just like the tip of his nose, and he's never looked more innocent than in that moment.

You tilt your head sadly, that same emotion reflected in your eyes. "I do not celebrate the loss of innocents, especially one that has gone too soon. I also do not particularly like the notion of someone I hold dear grieving alone."

"You did," he sniffs. He remembers hearing your cries that night; the whole Red Keep could. You cried and screamed the entire night until you fell asleep from exhaustion and starvation.

Otto prohibited them from coming to you. Haelena tried, but he dismissed the idea with the false notion that you'd hurt her in your grief. Otto confuses you with your parentage. Unlike them, you're kind and gentle and wouldn't dare hurt anyone.

"Which is how I know I would never wish it upon my worst enemy." You brush your fingers through his blonde hair, tucking the messy strands behind his ears.

"Is that what I am to you? An enemy?" He asks, disgruntled.

"No," you answer immediately, your hands coming down to rest upon his chest. His breathing has calmed since you first saw him. "At least, not yet."

His lilac eyes bore into hers in search of the truth; shyly, you hold onto his gaze with nothing to hide except your intentions to help. Sighing, he closes his eyes and bumps his forehead against yours. Aegon will take what he can get. There's seemingly no one else to help him deal with his emotions.

"Stay," he pleads, holding onto the hand that's placed on his chest. This is the most at peace he's felt in a while. He wishes to savor it for a moment longer.

"For as long as you need, my King," you reply, closing your eyes.

"Aegon," he says. He refuses to be reminded of what lies outside his bed chambers. For just a moment, he wishes to simply be Aegon.

"Aegon," you respond, correcting yourself. He squeezes your hand appreciatively, tucking your head on his neck.

He keeps you in his arms until late hours in the night, recounting memories he shared with Jaehaerys. The pain is real and raw, and he won't be well for a long time, but for this night, Aegon will seek solace in your embrace, where he knows he won't be judged or be seen as a burden.

In your arms, he's not Aegon' the Magnanimous.' He's not seen as careless or reckless or the lesser child of Alicent Hightower.

He's Aegon.

helaena’s part has been posted! HELAENA’S TURN

Final part! STAY WITH US

that’s it! it’s sweet and short. i just wanted to have someone comfort aegon like he deserves. during that scene i wished i could jump into t he screen and hug him. it’s all so tragic.

i wish i could do the same with haelena. my girl needs to be coddled. fuck alicent. fuck otto. most importantly fuck criston cole.

if you enjoyed this one shot please don’t forget to like or comment and if you want more of it feel free to let me know! i don’t bite (unless you want me to)!

[enwoso]

blood, not bond | alessia russo x teen!reader

-> based on this request

grumpy masterlist | leah is in it but she kind of pops in and out of it - more focused on: harrison, alessia and lovie.

at seventeen, you had gotten used to the strange rhythm of your relationship with, your dad, harrison.

once every four or five weeks maybe longer if life got in the way, you'd meet up with him. lunch or a quick shop around town, maybe both if you were lucky.

he'd always ask you about school, about your football commenting on the fact that he managed to watch your match on a stream like it meant something to you, or if you were still writing in that journal you'd started in year nine.

it wasn't uncomfortable, wasn't bad either. it just wasn't what people imagined when they heard the word 'dad'.

because really you didn't have a 'dad'. you had an alessia and a leah. they were your parents. your constants.

harrison well, he was.. something else? a figure which floated in and out your life with well meaning eyes and clumsy attempts to connect.

this time you were spending a rare saturday with harrison. but it wasn't in a 'cherished' kind of way, more like it was an obligation.

you didn't hate seeing your dad, sometimes on the rare occasion you'd actually enjoy yourself but most of the time were just.. odd. scheduled. like fitting a phone call in with a stranger into a diary full of people who actually knew you.

this one had started like the others: brunch at the cafe that he liked, shopping afterward if he remembered that you needed new trainers or a jacket. a few attempts at small talk — 'is school going okay?', how's football? scored any crackers yet?', 'how's your mum?'

the day had been fine, until it wasn't.

"so," harrison started, halfway through his eggs benedict. "louis and lily would love to meet you one day."

you blinked, pausing mid-forkful of your pancakes, "who?"

he just smiled like it was a name you should recognise, "your younger brother and sister. i've told them about you, there always asking when they're going to meet you."

your fork hovered still in mid-air, your mouth going dry. "you.. you have kids?"

"yeah, i do" he said as if it was nothing and that it should have been common knowledge to you. "well, you knew about zoey—"

"i knew you had a girlfriend when i was like eleven, you posted her once and then never mentioned her again."

he frowned, "louis is five and lily is three. and the only reason i didn't tell you sooner is cause i didn't want to throw too much at you all at once, but they've been asking about you for a while — especially louis, he's a big football and arsenal fan"

you didn't respond, just looked down. you now suddenly hyper-aware of the clink of cutlery around the cafe, the swirl of the cream in your coffee cup. your appetite vanished.

the rest of the day passes in awkward silences and occasional comments which you couldn't force yourself to reply too. he asked if you liked a jacket, you shrugged. asked about football, you said 'great'

finally, when he pulled up outside your house, home, he put the car in park but didn't turn off the engine.

"i'm serious, y/n" he said, hand still on the steering wheel like he might need to grip it to keep the conversation from drifting. "think about it please, they'd love to meet you."

you nodded slowly, "we'll see." it came out small, flat. a placeholder for all the thing you didn't know how to say.

you slipped out the car muttering a 'thank you' but before he could say more, you were heading up the driveway with quick steps and slipping through your front door like a ghost.

the front door creaked with the same familiar cream it always did. leah was in the kitchen, stirring something in a pan which you knew she'd of been instructed to do by your mum. music drifting through the hallway, quiet but calm.

"hey, angel. you good?" leah called out, you nodded again, tossed your shoes by the door, alessia bundling down the stairs as she ruffled your hair a warm smile on her lips.

"lovie! how was your day?" she asked as she leant against the banister, you knowing she wouldn't drop it until you said something.

"fine" you said, dropping your bag by the stairs.

"did you go for food?" alessia asked, her eyebrows raising at your short answers and the way you were behaving.

"yeah." you hummed, one foot on the bottom step waiting for your exit to go straight to your room.

"you want tea?"

"i'm good." you didn't wait for more. just walked straight up to you room and closed the door with a quiet click.

leaving your mum at the bottom of the stairs, her being slightly confused at your quiet behaviour, usually you'd come home with a story or maybe at least complaining about your dad asking you a question about something you hadn't done since you were ten.

but today, nothing. silence. but alessia knew better than to push. you'd tell her eventually.

—

alessia waited. she didn't follow after you. didn't push. she never did. she left you in your room while her and leah ate tea together. a slight look of concern on leah's face when alessia told her to leave you when she asked if she should call you down for dinner.

but a few hours later, after you had spent most of the evening buried in your duvet with your headphones on, alessia knocked softly and poked her head in.

leah had taken the dog out. the house was still, humming only with the low buzz of the boiler and the occasional car passing outside.

"can i come in?" you shrugged glancing up at your mum as she poked her head through the door.  you were sat cross-legged, staring blankly at your phone screen. alessia walked in, sat on the edge of the bed like she always had since you were small.

"so how was today? with your dad."

alessia looked at the way your face changed at then mention of it. she could tell something was off. not just because you were quiet, but the way you moved as if your skin didn't quite fit right. your shoulders were tight, tense.

"hey" alessia said gently. "you okay?"

your eyes stayed on your phone screen, you having been doom scrolling for the past few hours trying to get rid of your thoughts however it was probably making them worse.

your jaw clenched once. then again. then— "he told me he has another family."

alessia's heart thudded, a pout forming over her lips, "lovie.."

"i have siblings," you snapped, you voice sharp. "siblings, mum. five and three. and tells me like it's some lovely fun little surprise over brunch!"

alessia's face dropped, she knew about harrison moving on with zoey, in a way she was delighted it had meant he wouldn't keep sticking his nose in her relationship with leah and she knew about louis.

not because she found out from harrison himself first (no surprise there) but, from one of harrison's friends she bumped into while doing a late shop one afternoon. harrison then telling her a few days later, alessia urging him to tell you but he promised he would when the time was right.

"wow. i-i didn't know about the three-year-old. just louis but that was years ago."

"you knew!?" your voice hitched as you head snapped to look at your mum. hurt blooming behind your eyes.

"i knew about louis and yeah we both knew about zoey, but i didn't know they'd had another child." alessia explained, her voice calm, too calm for your liking. with the way your chest felt like it was about to explode.

"and what? you didn't think to tell me?" you snapped, your voice dripping with bitterness but also hurt.

alessia took a slow breath, "it wasn't my place to say anything. at the end of the day lovie, he is your dad. it should've come from him."

your eyes flashed. "oh, come on. that's such a cop-out."

"no, i didn't mean it like that."

"then how did you mean it?" your voice rose, frustration starting to build. "cause right now it sounds a lot like you just didn't want to deal with it. just like he didn't either."

alessia flinched but she didn't move her eyes hardening. "hey, no, don't put me in the same category as him, lovie. i've been here. every day. for every meltdown, for every match, for every homework crisis."

you started pacing back and forth in your room. "yeah, you have. you've been here. and he's been off playing happy families with some other kids. buying them toys, tucking them into bed, going to their school plays, their out of school clubs—"

"you don't know that."

"i don't have to!" you nearly shouted. "cause i can guess. cause i know what it looks like when someone doesn't show up, and he's had plenty of practice."

alessia took a careful step forward wanting to try and help calm you down before you did something silly. "you're allowed to be upset. you're allowed to be angry."

"well, good. because i am." you said, voice cracking with each word. "he shows up once a month, if that, buys me lunch, asks me about school like he knows me, and then drops this on me like it's something i should be excited about."

you stop pacing and turned to your mum, eyes shining with unshed tears. "he said they want to meet me. that they know all about me. like i'm just some story that their dad tells sometimes at bedtime. like i'm not even a real person."

alessia's heart broke a little more with each word. "he should've told you a long time ago. but he also should have done a lot differently then he did when you were growing up."

your voice shook as you sniffled. "i spent years thinking i did something wrong. that i wasn't enough. that i was the problem. that if i'd been better—quieter, smarter, easier—maybe he'd have stayed, maybe he'd of made more of an effort to get to know me. and now i find out he did stay. just not for me."

"oh, lovie..."

"he just replaced me, mum. he left you, and then he replaced me. like i didn't even mean anything."

and that was it—the dam broke. your legs gave way as you collapsed onto the side of your bed, and the tears came hard, your chest heaving with the weight of everything you'd been holding in for years.

alessia was beside you in an instant, pulling you close, her arms wrapping tightly around you like a shield. alessia didn't speak right away. just held you. let you sob.

"i don't want to meet them," you whispered eventually, voice hoarse as tears still streamed down your face.

"you don't have to," your mum murmured against you. "you don't owe him anything. this isn't your responsibility."

"he said they'd love to meet me," you scoffed bitterly. "but they don't know me. i'm just a name. some girl he sees sometimes. i'm not part of his family. not really."

alessia pulled back just enough to look you in the eye. "then let's make something very clear—you do have a family. me. mama. this house. your many, many aunties. your friends. the people who show up. that's your family."

you nodded, barely. your hands clutched the hem of your mum's jumper.

"do you think it makes me a bad person for not wanting to see them?" you asked softly, slight hiccup coming from your lips.

"no," alessia said without a beat of hesitation. "it makes you honest. and human. and hurting. and that's perfectly okay."

your mum stood, slow and careful, like you might shatter if she moved too fast. "your allowed to be angry."

"i don't even know what i am." your hands were trembling now. "i'm not mad he has a family. i'm mad i'm not part of it. that i never was. that he never gave me the chance. that he never loved me, not properly."

flash— age four: harrison meeting you for the first time after walking away after alessia had told him she was pregnant. bringing a little teddy bear like it could fill four years of nothing.  you didn't even remember it—but you remember your mum's face when the door had closed again.

flash— age nine: he missed your school plays. said he had work, but you saw the tagged picture later on. a dinner. smiling. a different world.

flash— age twelve: he missed your birthday. fourteen: he never messaged to say congratulations on your first start for the england youth team.

flash — age sixteen: he said he'd take you out for dinner after your exams, you sat waiting for hours - he didn't even bother to call and cancel.

instead it was just a pattern of promises that never really included you.

alessia took a slow step closer as she knelt down in front of you, you sat looking at your hands in your lap. "you don't have to figure this all out today, lovie."

"i don't want to meet them," you said, voice still hoarse but still sharp. "i don't want to play happy families with strangers. i don't want to pretend i've ever been more than a once-a-month reminder for him."

alessia arms wrapped around you like muscle memory, strong and warm and safe. "and that's okay, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. you have us. you always have and always will, that's never going to change."

you pressed your face into her mum's shoulder in front of you, letting the tears come again, now that you weren't pretending to be okay.

the front door opened. leah's voice floated in, as she called out, the sound of the dogs collar echoing as it shook itself in the hallway. "i'm backk!"

alessia looked over the top of your head, eyes soft as she whispered. "we'll get there. i've got you."

she stroked your hair gently as you curled into her side, exhausted and broken but safe. it wasn't fixed. not yet. and maybe wouldn't be for a while. but you had what mattered most. you had home.

[knightyoomyoui]

Lose Our Control - Part 2 [+18] (COMMISSIONED)

TWICE (x Male Reader) ft. Aespa and IU

TYPE: Fluff, Smut, Heavy Angst

WORD COUNT: 12722

NOTE: IU is finally here to join the plot! This one is way longer than Part 1 (Read here) because this one contains MULTIPLE ENDINGS for you to see and decide what you prefer the best as part of me and client's agreement. Also, combining the word count of this to the previous, it has a total of 18466: making this my LONGEST ONE-SHOT YET.

Thank you everyone for the notes, reblogs, and asks as your praises for Part 1! Hope this one won't disappoint. ORDERED BY: @vl-47 TAGS: harem, LOTS of sex and kinks, yandere, obsessed psychopath

DONATE OR REQUEST FOR COMMISSION HERE: https://ko-fi.com/knightyoomyoui TRIGGER WARNING: This sequel contains mentions of violence (psychological abuse, torture, murder), and non-con.

== CONTINUATION FROM THE END OF PART 1 == The recent events that occurred two days ago has been disturbing you badly. It won’t let you sleep peacefully at night, knowing about the guilt of the huge mistake you have done. You may not remember exactly what you did, but what you’ve seen when you opened your eyes is telling that you mindlessly enjoyed it with the influence of alcohol. Three naked women sleeping alongside you that weren’t neither each of the TWICE members and seeing how all knocked up they were, you sure did put yourselves in a hell of a good time. Most people would be happy that they got the luckiest opportunity to bang a hot woman, but that’s not a case with you. How could you feel like that when you’re literally in a relationship with not only just one… but nine gorgeous woman you knew and fell in love with. That brings you to the question: Why did you do it? It was just for a moment that things have been a bit calm while you were regretting your actions and owing it with all honesty alone in your room as your conversation with Karina replays in your head since there wasn’t anything that followed up afterwards.

Yet you were wrong, it was intended to happen to prepare yourself for the worst to come. That was when Jihyo texted you that they’re arriving back to South Korea during the tour for an urgent matter, and her text seemed unusually cold. You stayed in your home, trying to compose yourself to act normal despite of your darkest secret being a distraction. The door of their dorm opened, revealing all of them one by one as they brought their luggages and bags inside.

“G-girls! You’re finally back! Let me help you with t-”

You stood up and were about to approach Jihyo but she halts and stares at you without any expression. “No need.” “B-but those look heavy… and you girls are tired from the flight.” “I said we can do this by ourselves.” JIhyo’s tone became sharper. She walked past you as she heads into her room.

“And YN… p-please leave us alone here.” Jeongyeon requested as she followed Jihyo and threw you also a menacing glare. “Can I just atleast stay here for a while and check up on you all? It’s been weeks since we haven’t seen-” “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE, OKAY?” Nayeon yelled at you. She walked close at you and gave you a huge slap in the face. Her large hands were able to not only apply pain in your cheek, it even caused the corner of your lips to bleed. “H-how could you…w-we trusted you, we thought it’s all gonna be okay that we talked about the possibilities of each other fighting f-for attention. I thought it’s gonna be us!” They knew, you said in your thoughts. You leaned away still after the impact of Nayeon’s assault. “We were all scared and nervous that we’re going to be the reason of ruining our relationship because of how many of us we’re in love with you.” Momo said in gloomy vibe. “And we couldn’t put a finger in you because we knew you were such a likeable person, that we risked to put the blame on ourselves. Loving us had us think that it’ll be impossible for you to cheat…” Jihyo said while her back is turned at you from the hallway that leads to the bedroom. She stopped walking when she heard the loud slap that Nayeon did at you. “And yet you still did this to us?! Sana, show it.” Nayeon commanded Sana who rummaged through her bag. She pulls out her phone and played a video as she presented it to you with dreaded eyes. It’s a clip of you sitting along with Aespa as all of you laugh while drinking liquor at the bar. It ended when Karina pulled you along inside the VIP lounge. Your eyes widened in shock not just of being busted, but with how the girls knew about this. “You must be wondering, huh.” Nayeon asked you in attitude. “M-my friend Miyeon was there in the club. She recorded this because… she recognized you. She was surprised that you are meeting with other girls because…I mentioned you to her as my boyfriend.” Sana began cracking into tears. “And I can’t believe this is what you do to me.” “Behind our backs? Really, YN? How dare you.” Momo scoffed disappointedly. “Look, girls. Let me explain-” “What is there to explain, YN? You fucking cheated on us!” Nayeon went loud.

“It wasn’t my intention, okay! I was drunk at that time, I didn’t know what was happening. All I remember is that a woman named Karina just showed up beside me and talked to me. That’s it!” You tried to defend yourself. “YN… don’t be stupid, please.” Mina frowned and looked at you betrayed. “Intoxicated or not, you should’ve known already know about what too much consuming alcohol would bring you. It’s your own actions, you should be accountable.” “I-I know, okay. I;m sorry, but please believe me it wasn’t my intenti-” Nayeon pounded your chest with rampage of her fists. “And yet you still went to that damn bar! Why would you even go there in the first place!”

You became teary eyed, as you cannot endure seeing all of them getting hurt of what you’ve done. “I was lonely, okay? I tried doing everything to distract myself, but I just miss you all too much.” Some of them started crying harder, especially Dahyun and Tzuyu. “Nobody were there to join me, until my friends invited me to go there. I accepted and I-I thought drinking would ease my sadness away.” “FUCK!!!” Nayeon stomped and buried her crying face on her palm as she squatted below in front of you. “What do want us to say then, YN? That we’re sorry? Yeah, kinda but… what can we do? We’re idols, it’s our job to go in any places to entertain our fans. It’s not like we wanted to leave you too.” Momo confronted you as well. Jeongyeon came to console Nayeon as she hugged the poor woman. She looks up at you filled with rage and frustration. “What I hated the most out of anything is not only people close to me being liars, but you broke my friend’s heart, just as much as mine.” “Jeongyeon, please I really didn’t mean to-” You were about to came close to them when she shouted.”

‘YOU STAY RIGHT THERE. DON’T YOU EVER COME CLOSE TO US!” She gestured you before she focused back on cooing Nayeon. “This is… something we can’t tolerate for us to continue in this relationship, YN.” Jihyo said. “I loved you. WE loved you. I knew you do but… you still did what you did.” Jihyo cried after she said those words. “How can we ever trust you again?” “We thought we are already enough, yet you still gave yourself in to others.” Chaeyoung expressed her feelings. “It breaks my heart thinking that maybe… there’s something lacking with us that you could just be open with anybody to have you.” “Chaeng, it’s not like that. Come on, girls. All of you are enough. I will do everything to fix this, please. Just give me a chance, we should not let-” “You love us?” Nayeon looks at you, her reddish tired eyes in contact. She leans Jeongyeon away from her gently to allow herself some space. “If you… don’t want to break our hearts again. Do me and all of us favor then. Let’s break up.” Your jaw slowly dropped in shock. Panic controls you to go nearer at Nayeon and touch her. “W-wait, Nayeon please. Don’t do this. I- I can’t… I can’t let us end this way.” You tried to approach them one by one but they were all just avoiding your glances with their sobs.

“Tzu, Dubu… even you guys? Come on, please don’t leave me. I’ll do better, I promise.” You said as you observed Tzuyu and Dahyun trying to avoid you. Dahyun raised her head and met you with her shattered emotions. “How could you do this to us. Oppa? I thought we could have you with everything, but you let it go away with just a simple flirt from another woman.”

“T-Tzuyu?” You held both wrists of the maknae, encouraging her to look you in the eye. “I love you so much, please. I can’t lose you too.” You felt Tzuyu shuddered in your touch. “I don’t know what I should say, oppa. All I know is that I’m hurting. I love the entirety of you, including your body, but seeing you losing your guard just like that for others to take advantage of what should be ours… was so unfaithful of you.” Tzuyu proceeded to share her own. She was wiping her eyes using her shirt. “How can you convince us again that everything will work out just fine, that you be strong for us when you couldn’t even be loyal to us anymore?”

‘I think it’s better that we have to separate from now on. I suggest that you leave us alone for good, I can’t let our work ethics affected because of what you did to us. If you truly care for all of us, please don’t go breaking our hearts again by staying by our side.” Jihyo concluded their decision. You felt defeated and dismayed, losing all nine of them all at once has to be your worst mistake you’ve ever done in your life. You were about to keep on fighting for your relationship with them but Nayeon tugs your arm and pushes you forcefully to the door. “GET OUT! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!” Her constant hits at you adds another stabbing pain in your heart that all you can do is to cry due to loss of words of their reaction. One last time, you looked at the girls crying because of you. They really didn’t attempted to watch you disappear. You exit their dorm and as the door closes, they all started to cry harder in each other’s arms as you made your way through the hallway devastated from such a huge loss in your lovelife. The aftermath of your failed relationship with TWICE, it had you ending your contract with JYPE abruptly as a part of the favor you wanted to do for the girls. You can just admit by yourself that you would’ve wanted to be with them longer, but things won’t be the same again. You mourned for the disaster you have caused and owe it all within yourself alone in your home. Sleepless nights of dreams, what ifs, and hopes about the girl’s future and what would it’ll be like if you were still with them. During your coping with heartbreak for days both losing special people and the job you dedicate in your life, you were fixing your clothes when you noticed a folded paper inserted inside the pocket. You opened it, and it revealed a phone number with a note that says “Call me if you need someone to pick you up. We can do it again if you like.” and a wink. It must be from Karina, as you speculated that she put this inside your clothes while you were sleeping, which you weren’t aware that she actually put that when she hugged you before you left the motel. The desire of moving on and stepping back on track with your job had you encouraged to atleast settle on this. Left with no choice, you gave it a try as you dialed it on the phone. “It’s me, YN. Where can we meet? Fine, I’ll be there.”

The next day, you and Karina met in your designated place which is in a cafe shop. Hearing about the story to detail her speculations of you reaching back to her despite of that given night, she told about her preposition as a repay for what you did to them in the club.

When one door closes, another one opens for a new opportunity as they say. So you did, now finding yourself sitting in a room along with Aespa’s staffs to discuss about your deal of collaborating with them through your songs that you may write for their future albums.

It was finalized, Aespa were happy to have you officially in SM Entertainment. You felt atleast grateful and happy to have a new start with a bunch of new people, but beneath those smiles you show while you shake their hands, they don’t know that something is still off with you.

Not wanting to ruin the moment, you hid it and focus on the important scenario right now. Aespa arranged a celebration for your successful contract signing and you accepted.

As all of you gladly talked about random stuffs, you were observing them with conflicted emotions, probably because you still haven’t forgotten that they’re part of the reasons why you broke up with TWICE.

They began to shift again to their unstabilized selves after many bottles of soju. Giselle and Winter fell asleep, while Karina and Ningning initiates the things they wanna do to you since they were throwing you some seductive brushes and glares.

It all started with Karina laying her head at your shoulder, drinking one last shot before she inhales your neck. You looked at her and she caught it, it pushed her to the limit of kissing your exposed skin dangerously.

It crept up to the jaw, your cheek, then forcefully tilted your head to face her and capture your lips. Ningning paused from her drinking as she watches you and Karina starting to get intimate.

You broke the kiss. Unlike last time, you were a bit sober to do these things with them. You inspected Karina’s lust forming in her expression, that same demeanor that misled you to the forbidden affection which cost your relationship that you were once valued the most.

A part of you were mad of what they’ve done, and those voices were telling you to make them pay for it by using the same thing they used against you. You pulled Karina up in her feet and dragged her shorts down.

Her red panties are in full view, Karina breathes heavily as she watches you stare by it and feel the graze of your fingertips across her legs. Meanwhile, Ningning is still watching the show going on in front of her with a bit of jealousy.

You smooched her thighs as they rise to her blocked center. You hooked your fingers in the waistband and brought them down slowly until they planted on her feet and on the floor.

Karina steps out of it, you smelled its center part before you folded it neatly and placed it on your pocket. 

You stood up in front of her. Karina eyes you full of hunger, she bit her lips before placing her hands on your shoulders and invite you for another passionate kiss. 

“See this? It’s what you do to me. Tonight, I’m going to make sure that you’ll beg me for me to stop, that is… if I agree to it.” You said.

“If that’s what you want, then show me what you can do. Don’t hold back this time, there’s nobody you can think of anymore other than me.”

“You two must be forgetting we’re still here… especially me.” Ningning rose from her seat, placing her glass on the table. She walked towards both of you to join the fun.

“Can’t let myself getting left behind.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay there amd behave like a good girl? Because this bitch clearly doesn’t understand what’s coming after her.” You said as you fiercely cupper Karina’s chin in which she only reacted with a chuckle.

“What can I say, sluts deserves harsh treatments. I might help you with that, but… I’m a good friend as well, I fear that you may be outnumbered here.” Ningning boastfully said.

“Uh huh? So you do admit that you are just as slut as your friend right here?”

“Yes, and what are you gonna do about it?”

“Outnumbered, my ass.” You tugged Ningning and pressed her at Karina who caught her with a liplock. As they began to french kiss one another, you started to take off your clothes. “You fucking relationship breakers, I’m going to destroy both of your asses simutaneously that tomorrow morning, yall will rely to my cock just for you to properly walk into work.”

“Let’s get this all started in somewhere that ain’t… messy.” Karina said as she viewed the sight of scattered snacks and empty bottles with Giselle and Winter sleeping soundly on the carpet. Before you followed them, you placed the two on the couch to be comfortable.

Entering the bedroom, Karina pushes you to the bed and straddled you. You lift her t-shirt to reveal her matching red laced bra. The size of her tits and the color of her garment effectively made her hotter.

You grope her tits, mashing them together and pressed them to largen their shape while you feel Ningning devouring your nape and shoulders from behind. 

Helping you locate the lock, you snap it off to remove her bra. Her saggy G-cup breasts dropped in full presentation. You gulped your throat before you start suffocating your face between her holy valleys.

Karina just moaned lewdly as she felt her attractor’s face buried into her precious bosoms. “Oh mmh yes, suck them please.”

You complied, mouth capturing her rosy nipples and slurped it like there’s a milk coming out of it.

To add more pressure, Karina began grinding on your legs to stimulate her bare pussy and help you feast on her breasts further. Ningning on the other hand, already took off her shirt to reveal her proud tits to put into work by massaging your back with it.

“My turn.” Ningning interrupted your breastfeeding with Karina when she snatches your lips. Your hands were still squeezing Karina’s tits as she starts to remove your lower clothing. 

Your cock sprung up in raging erection. Karina allows Ningning to drop your half body on the bed to sit on your face while she quickly swallowed your full length without any build ups. 

The rest of the night was full of loud noises coming from their moans, your degrading curses, and rough slapping of skins from the countless manhandling you gave to them in various positions around the room.

Then, the morning you woke up, you groaned not because of how stiff and exhausted your body felt from your threesome with Karina and Ningning. It was rather your cock that is stiff being paid attention by Winter and Giselle as they double teamed your balls. 

Turning you on, you asked Giselle to lay alternate on top of you so that she turns yourselves in 69 while Winter still sucks your balls below as she fingers herself. All of you came together, with Giselle sharing some of your load directly into Winter’s mouth.

The sex was great with them. Your connection definitely grew from not just from being their new songwriter but as a friends who gives them a benefit of sex. 

You do it for them either to ease their tiredness or if they bored. This habit was both a favor and a punishment of them for you.

Meanwhile, Aespa attended a music show to promote their new song Whiplash. At the same time, TWICE was there to do the same for their song Strategy.

They saw each other backstage and interacted. This moment allowed Nayeon and Jihyo to open up a specific topic to set aside their idol life.

“We heard that YN is now working with you.” Nayeon’s mood slightly lowered at the mention of your name.

“You guys know YN?” Ningning asked.

“Yup, he wrote some songs for us. Then he terminated himself out of JYPE.” Jihyo confirmed.

“Guess he couldn’t take his fault all by himself, so instead he ran away with it.” Jeongyeon stiffled a laughter. All aespa members turned at her, their faces became serious as they suspiciously comprehended those choice of words.

“W-what did he do? Did something happened between you and him?” Karina asked.

“Yes. How about you, there has to be, right?” Nayeon smirked with a sass.

“W-what are you trying to say unnie?”

“Can we just cut the act here, girls?” Sana said. “We all know what happened between all of you and him. Or as I can mention, that night in the club?”

All of their eyes largened in surprise. “O-oh my God… u-unnie… you’re the girlfriend he’s talking about?” Winter gasped both in shock and fear.

“This is gonna be strange but to correct you, it’s girlfriendS. Plural.” Momo clarified.

They all “huh-ed” which took TWICE aback. They didn’t expected that reaction. “Wait… you girls don’t know about that?”

“No. He only said it in a singular term. We didn’t know that he was instead referring to… all nine of you.” Karina shook her head.

They all bowed and kneeled which had to girls embarassed. “We’re sorry, unnies!” They all stated in unison.

“Oh my, no stand up! Get out of the floor!” Jihyo shrieked. Fortunately they followed. “Okay, we admit we came here to confront you girls about… well having an affair with him when we were in a relationship with him. But, I think we’re just gonna skip into that a little since… we didn’t expect that you girls aren’t aware that it’s actually all of us.”

“That damn bastard, he says he loves us but he can only mention one of us as his girlfriends?!” Jeongyeon complained. 

“What’s worse is that he didn’t even mentioned any or our names.” Mina added.

“Is that how YN actually hates us?” Dahyun frowned which had the girls including Aespa to feel sad for her.

“Swear to God, unnie. We really didn’t know. I can confirm it because I was the one who initiated-” Karina paused when she received a not so hard slap from Nayeon.

“U-unnie?”

“That’s for still having an agenda to ruin someone’s relationship. What if it wasn’t YN and instead some… married man. You guys could’ve caused troubles not only in your careers but for his relationship too with his wife.” Nayeon reasoned.

“Which as you can see, happened to us.” Chaeyoung bitterly smiled. Aespa faded in guilt.

“But, we weren’t blaming you that much anymore for what happened. It’s still his fault and responsibility. And she failed with all of that.” Tzuyu said.

“That’s why we are here instead to… warn you about getting associated with him.” Jihyo said with all seriousness. “We can’t let another that will have their hearts broken because of his unloyalty and unfaithfulness.” 

“Were you all… perhaps, having feelings now for him?” Jeongyeon checked.

That question had Aespa reflecting about their recent encounters with him. Sure, sex with you was great but… they never had the time to concentrate on their feelings if you are already creating an effect for them aside from pleasure.

“W-we haven’t talked about that yet.” Karina denied, with the rest emphasizing it with a shake of their heads.

“So, just impressions?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty good. Wouldn’t try to object about his looks, well we do understand why all of you were concerned of other women trying to get into him.” She swallowed the lump in her throat after saying that, as she cleverly blamed themselves.

“We’re telling you now in advance that you should do something to prevent yourselves from getting too attached with him. You know what happened to us, and now that he found a new collection through all of you, he might do it again.” Jihyo warned them.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater, guys.” Nayeon shrugged.

“Anyways, we still do know our part that we can’t dictate what others feel, but just so you know we’re giving you already a heads up about the consequences. Don’t… don’t let yourselves get hurt.” Jihyo said, her emotions almost collapsed as she remembered the altercation, which was the last time they saw you. “I suggest it’s better to remain friends with him.”

All aespa members nodded to what the TWICE’s charismatic leader advised for them. They bid their goodbyes after congratulating and showing how delighted they are to see their fellow sunbaes. 

Sana was the one to depart, and before she tailed along with her co-members, she left one last favor for Aespa to do for her and probably on behalf of them.

“Take care of him, please. We don’t know what we lacked but… try to do better.”

ACT 4The following weeks have been very baffling for Aespa, and their minds couldn’t just focus properly on the priorities when they always get to see your face in the same environment you both were working in.Just a glimpse of your presence and it took them both to recall their interaction with their seniors whom they still didn’t expect that they were once yours. Ofcourse, it does affect their way of encountering you. It irritates them to the point that they’ve decided to give themselves a space to process everything not because of what they’ve learned about you, but the possibilities of what’s actually building up inside of them for you. These actions didn’t fail to get on your senses, as it slowly becoming noticeable of you that they somehow look a bit different communicating with you than the recent times they’ve had with you. It’s not that you were expecting, but they’ve gone less frequent on initiating sex with you. It wasn’t surprising until they also started to only laugh or speak occasionally, only because they make themselves unavailable to get along with you due to being ‘busy’. You know that’s not it, and so was them. You wanted to know if something is going on, so that’s why you give it a shot of questioning them regarding on that matter. It left you puzzled when they said ‘nothing’ and still they blamed work for draining their energy these days. Offering assistance, they declined. No more forcing occurred afterwards, you just let them be alone as requested. As your chat with them ended, the members sigh problematically, they just didn’t know what to do with you. It’s highly hypocritical and audacity of them to be mad for you that you’ve cheated, that’s why they were skipping into that truth. Rather, they are living into a lesser shameful and a reasonable cause of them to limit themselves from you. They’re just disappointed of how things turned out because of them and… what might happen if it was them now in TWICE’s position when they were with you. To put it simply, they’re currently struggling in this emotional conflict and tension within their decisions and feelings all about you. Back to where you are, you may not forgive what Aespa has done for you and TWICE but at the same time, you also couldn’t help but to feel alone knowing that all of the people you got to be very close inside this industry are currently out of your reach. It makes you sad that Aespa were going through tough times without your help, but they couldn’t surpass the amount of loneliness and longing you have everyday for TWICE. You were about to sleep into your comfy bed when your phone buzzed a notification. Opening it, all of your thoughts were a speaking of the devil. Talking about a perfect timing, someone wants to meet up with you, and unlike the last time, you accepted it initially because knowing this person since you two were little, she could never be cruel for you. The next day, you drove your car to the rendezvous she marked. Stopping by into her house, there she was, standing on the stairs to her doorway. Your childhood friend and sister-figure of your life, IU greeted you with a very cheerful demeanor. “Hiiii YN!” She waved her hand at you. You got out of the car and opened the door for her like a gentleman. Her instant hugged at you made you flinched and laugh at her usual clingy side. “Hey, easy haha. Hello to you as well noona.” You reciprocated the hug. It honestly felt so good, aside from your ex-girlfriends, she’s the other woman who could make you feel that love and care that gives off what a family should be. “I missed you so much. We haven’t seen each other in like forever.” She pouted.

“I mean, that’s what you get for being very famous in Korea right now.” She slapped you on the arm. “Ouch!” “So you are mocking me now just because I’m famous? Well what can I do, atleast I have a better job than you, and I never feel ashamed of being an idol” She teased you by taking out her tongue that had you rolling your eyes. “Yeah yeah yeah you are richer than me. I get it, ever since before you’re obsessed with money. No surprise.” “Stupid, that’s not it…. Or maybe just a little.” You shook your head as you found her silly antics ridiculous. “But shut up, okay? How dare you spit lies on me, I’m doing it because of my fans.” “Sure, sure. Whatever you say.” You joked. “Ugh stop annoying me.” She showed it in her face which kind of turned her adorable. Like a sister, you really love pissing her off. “Why are you keep blabbering out here. Come on, time is running we should start this day immediately.” She pushes you to make you reenter the car and get yourselves out of here.

“You should appreciate this, okay? I even had to sacrifice my dayoff to rest from all the shootings and everything just to meet you.” IU pretends to sulk. “I told you on the phone that I’ll be there when you need me, and I mean it.” You smiled and looked at her. “Yeah I know, and thank you for spending your time with me, noona. I do needed this, you know… to be free of this stressful life I just entered after I became a songwriter.” IU’s grin of hearing your grateful remark shrank when you mentioned your problem. “Was your job draining you that much? Didn’t quite expect that writing songs would be that tiring.”

“Yah, are you boasting out on me now?” You voiced out while your attention is fixed on the road. “Idiot, what I mean is that was JYPE making you write songs for their entire groups signed with them? How can you say your job is stressing you out?” IU elaborated. “We’ll talk about that later. For now, can we just enjoy the drive, please? I don’t want to start all of these right away with deep stuffs and such.” IU nodded. “As you say so, here lemme play my playlist. You better tell me what’s going on later okay? I want to know what I’m helping you with.” Reaching the largest mall in the city, you and IU went on to a shopping spree, even buying things for you as a gift in which you gladly accepted. She did everything to cheer you up with your worries and it did worked somehow. Just like the old days, she would watch a movie with you, take photos together, and play some arcade to compete with one another to check who is still better in games. However, among all of that, nothing can still top the favorite part of your time with her: food trip. While eating, you were reminded of your promise with her which encouraged you to open up about it. As usual, IU would listen to you in all ears, you narrated the entire story from the moment you signed in JYPE as a songwriter that led you to meet TWICE, the strange relationship you had with all of them, the breakup, and how you were involved with Aespa nowadays. IU’s reaction either falls or rises, particularly about the relationship you had with all of them. She became serious after hearing everything she had to know and to express her somber and empathy, she hugged you again in comfort. “I don’t know what I did… it makes me think I’m not fit for any of this.” Your emotions bawling inside. “I wanted to fix things right but it’s like I just want to move on from everything.” “I suggest you do it, YN.” IU advises. “They won’t do good on you if you still keep yourself connected with them. The burden of what you’ve created will never stop triggering your anxiety and guilt. For TWICE, well I do understand why they must be upset… I mean, you betrayed them but, you won’t suffer this much if they never let you get into this… toxic relationship of loving them all equally. They also have fault here somehow, don’t you think? As for Aespa… well going for revenge might not be worth it, YN. Shouldn’t you stop being near with them? Don’t forget what they did, but was it necessary for you to join them? What would TWICE will respond if they know that you associated with them? Do you think it’ll make them happy? No. Hate to break it to you, YN but… 

That’s why from now on, it’s better for you to leave them for good. Have a fresh new start, I can guide you with that.” You looked at her, she observed how fragile you are and it aches her. “You can?” “Yes, everything. I can give you everything that they can’t. And unlike them, I would do it all by myself.” IU confidently said, she stroked your hair to ease your emotions. “Come here.” She invited you for another embrace, You sobbed again, the more you let it all out on her, the more she bears anger for TWICE and Aespa for both putting you in an unhealthy relationship that manifested a horrible consequence in which you only had to handle responsibility since you’re the one who obviously sinned. Furthermore, it left her to return another side of her that YN never got to witness beforehand. Since they were little, your bond with IU had her to exceed your view of her role in your life. If she felt like your sister, then IU finds you to be her first-found love. 

And it never disappeared. She only had to hid it beneath her other priorities in life. But now that you’re back to become a part of her present situations in result of your lovelife issues, it motivated her to relive her deep feelings for you and use it to make you live in her future that she thinks you deserve. As IU wraps you in her arms, her thoughts are filled with plans of how to take care of you. At long last, she found the perfect time to finally disobey the platonic companionship and completely act using her heart beating romantically for you through the years. ACT 5

A true commitment to her words, IU walked the talk by beginning her agenda through the following days. Unlike before, she can insert a time for you frequently, even when you are with Aespa either she checks upon how you’re doing or she’ll invite you again to another gathering.

It was touching and grateful at first that IU is pouring a lot of effort of being your bestfriend that you can trust and rely to be on your side. How shameful of you to still not found her unhelpful when she literally sacrificing her busy schedule just for you.

Still, you feel shy and worried that you must be another burden that IU should carry, that’s why you reminded her not to babysit you too much that it affects her job. You tried to convince her that you’ll just gonna signal her if something might go wrong again between you and Aespa, but this is how the events starts to go downward spiral for you.

IU didn’t got mad at your assurance, but she declined. She said that you will never be a hindrance for her and that everything she’s doing right now is all for him only and because of him. 

At first you took it as some normal overprotective friend type of behavior from IU, but you began to spot some faulty antics from her that is making you a bit uncomfortable.

Sure yes, you appreciate her for being just one call away. However, her availability to reach you is slowly passing into the red line of boundaries that she might not be aware.

What you’re saying is that… IU wanted so much to let herself be known that she’s there for you that she hasn’t fail to come and see you everyday. She can be found in front of your dorm, outside of SM Ent. , and other places where she’s there to wait and watch for you.

It’s getting a little creepy from her, you thought. Why is she’s so determined to do this like it’s her glorious purpose to keep you psychologically stable from all problems when you already told her that she’ll be guaranteed to hear from you again when you need her.

Her obvious monitoring of you had you been concerned of her physical well-being since it must be tiring that she had to visit you when she’s tired from getting out from work. You just want her to stop this because your frequent meetups with her might become obvious to the public eye.

She was once seen by Winter and Giselle when they head out of the company for a while and they saw you chatting with IU wearing full jacket, a mask, and a cap to disguise herself. They secretly watched your conversation and after IU left, they were stunned when she entered a luxurious car.

Their curiosity piqued, they had you questioned if who that person is. You revealed it to be IU and that she stopped by to greet a friend. It was still bland, cold, and short interaction, as they just proceeded back on their tasks while you were left confused and tired from their behavior of being distant with you.

One day, IU invited you to eat with her outside but you had to refuse because there’s an ongoing studio production of a song again for Aespa. She said that she’ll still be waiting when you’re done and dropped the call when you were about to advice her to just move it the next day.

That made her to wait for hours on the restaurant she reserved, drunk herself out of wines she took plenty amount of times while you were there, busy contributing another song to add in Aespa’s discography.

It was the start of IU’s anger for Aespa to boil, and because of them she established a standard of having any women around you distracting your supposed to be time together be spiteful. Not even TWICE is safe from IU’s growing eagerness to have your attention piece by piece.

She had enough when you cut your stay in IU’s home short when surprisingly Aespa called you for an urgent discussion with them.

You were about to head out when IU began to spoke behind you.

“YN… was it really that important?” 

“I guess so, maybe duty calls.”

“But, are they?”

“Beg your pardon?”

IU sighed and started whining. “YN, can you tell me what exactly did they want you to go for?

“Uhh they said it’s just urgent. That’s it.”

“So you weren’t sure. Maybe they just want you there to use you again. You should just stay here instead.”

“Use me? What do you mean?”

“Oh come on, don’t you still see it? They’re just keeping you there in the company because they only want your skill to make them successful. Now that they’ve gone tired socializing with you, they all look at you nothing but a tool of their benefit. Well, not just for their career, but also for sex.”

“I-I don’t think that’s it. I went there to continue making myself being a songwriter to use. It’s not about them.”

“Oh really? Then why are you so excited to go out there and meet up with them, huh? Why? Were you expecting that you’re gonna make up with them after all these problems between you and them? Or… you just want to get another taste afterwards?”

“Ji-eun, stop. Why are you twisting my words?”

“I just…” IU came forward to hug you. “I don’t want you to go yet. Please.”

“Ji-eun… I really have to. Sorry, but I’ll be screwed if its for their project.”

You were about to leave when you heard a glass shatter. Abruptly turning, you saw IU with her hair down, she’s staring at the floor with a menacing stance.

Broken glass were around her. “Ji-eun, are you okay?!” You start to kneel and search for her feet for any signs of cut and bleeding.

“I want you to get out of that company.”

“What?”

“Work with me. Atleast there, I’ll treat you with care and I’ll respect you both in our personal lives and as work partners.”

“Ji-eun, it’s not easy.”

“What’s stopping you from leaving them alone?!”

“BECAUSE I’M DOING THIS TO GET BACK FROM THEM!!!” You raised your voice, making her stare at you in surprise. “I want them to realize that tearing me and TWICE members apart only result for nothing!”

“That’s why I’m saying it’s not about them. It’s always about Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung… and Tzuyu. Those nine were the reason I’m still staying with them even though God know I never wanted to.

I want to use them, take advantage of whatever they had, a fair share to be exact. Don’t you think I don’t realize that those girls would fall for me, Ji-eun?”

“Then why did you still want to go?” Ji-eun asked.

“Because if ever a time comes that one of them… or all of them just like what TWICE did, I want to break their hearts in the end instead. And if that time is today, I would be reject them without any hesitation… and I want to witness it by myself of how broken they will be, without any mercy or pity.”

“Revenge, huh?” IU chuckled. “So it’s not for Aespa… it’s all about TWICE this whole time?”

“Yes.”

IU laughs hysterically. “What a load of bullshit.”

She stepped closer at you. “Ji-eun, be careful! The glasses-”

“Shut up! What you do to me right now hurts more than these freaking shards I would’ve love to cut myself into.” She roared. “For TWICE? What, do you think it’s all worth it? YN, get your eyes wide open! They’re just useless and inconsiderate than those Aespa bitches!”

“Don’t be rash at them, they’re not.”

“Why? You’re still in denial, aren’t you? Whatever you do, that will forever stuck with them! It’s not gonna make you come back with them, you’re just wasting your damn time!”

“Who are you to tell what’s right or wrong for me, goddamnit! You were never there, Ji-eun! You don’t know what I’ve been through!”

“Playing victim in a situation that you’ve created? How cute of you.” IU scoffed.

You shook your head and groaned at how stressful IU is making these things for you. “Seriously, why are you doing this? Why are you trying to hold me back for? Were you perhaps, one of them as well?”

“I’m not.” IU pressed you on the wall and eyed you like a predator trapping her prey. “I’m better than them. How? I could love you with all my heart. I care for you, not to be shared by anybody. You’ll never get enough of me, YN. I’m completely natural for you.”

IU starts to kiss your neck as she starts ripping off your shirt. “I could never be a horrible woman like them.” She grabbed your head and kissed you fiercely. “Face it, YN. I am the only one who can give you anything than all of them combined.”

“But… Ji-eun…” You spoke after IU moved through your chest, peppering it with pecks of her lips. As she was about to attempt giving you hickeys, she paused when a deafening silence attacked her after hearing the words that felt like erupted her eardrums.

“I don’t love you.”

She just laid her head on your triceps. You watched her below, as you regretfully broke her heart. IU is a wonderful woman, you admit… but not enough to be a living personification of your ideal type.

“Why are you… making this so hard for me, YN?” IU starts to cry. “Ever since we were little, I’ve been holding these feelings for you, wanted you to acknowledge it. I thought everything we had would convince you to love me back.”

“But now that we’re here and I’m back to save you, you couldn’t even give me back what I want in return from you.”

She pulled something from her pocket. You then felt something pierced on your wrist that made you grunt in pain. 

IU stabbed you with a syringe with a clear fluid inside. You looked at her with widened eyes, and at that moment, the IU you once knew was no longer standing in front of you.

This one right here, is a much more obsessed, delusional, and possessive unlike she was. Its as if she transformed into a completely different person, gone with those compliments you had for her.

“You’re such an ungrateful bastard, YN. But don’t you worry now. I can still fix everything. It’s never too late for us to love one another, as long as I am the one in control.” 

Your vision of her starts to get blurry, your head spins, and you weren’t aware that you already collapsed on IU’s arms. Her empty expression in her face turns into a victorious smirk.

She closes the door and locks it. Dragging your body to her bedroom, she laid you and went for her cabinet. With handcuffs on your wrists bounded on the headboard, she could only watch you unconscious figure filled with lust.

“Sucks that this has to go this way. I wanted for you to see ourselves savor this moment. I guess I’ll just gonna wait for you to make it happen.” She giggled as she ran her fingertips through your midsection.

“Sleep tight for now my dear YN.” She kissed your lips and bit your lower lip before she slept over your upper body.

Hours later, it was now dark outside as you slowly woke up from getting knocked down by a substance inserted to you by IU. Speaking of her, you found her sleeping peacefully on your stomach.

You remembered what happened earlier that led her to do something unexpected. It wasn’t that she can only offer, as you realized that as you were about to stand up slowly and attempt to escape, your hands are shackled to the bed.

“Shit. What the fuck did she do to me?” You mumbled. You tried to break free, which made IU woke up from the sounds of clanging metal created by the handcuffs around the bars of the headboard.

“Oh, you’re awake. What time is it now?” She peeked at her phone. “9PM. Oh we have a lot of time for tonight.”

“W-what do you mean? What is this, Ji-eun? Why am i handcuffed, let me out of here!”

“Ssshhh… don’t worry, YN. I’ll let you go later.” She shushed you with her finger on your lips. “For now, let’s try something fun that we’ve never done before.” 

She starts to unbuckle your pants and tug it out, your boxers are now visible to her. “Finally we can start, I’ve waited patiently, you know?” 

“Help! SOMEBODY HELP!!!!”

“Oh that’s no good, be a good boy and don’t scream will you?” She grabs a scarf and covered your mouth. “We can’t let anyone see you bare naked in here, right? Oh well, they’ll rather gonna end up dead as they step here anyway.”

Your eyes stared at her in horror as she laughs at her supposed to be funny dark humor. This childhood friend of yours has gone insane, and now she’s about to strip you down while you only watch her do so.

“Don’t you know how much I wanted to do this? The more I think of you, the more I imagine everything about you that I haven’t seen yet. And that includes your body.”

She removed your boxers, revealing your underwear with the outline of your semi-erect cock in view. IU moaned at its sight and almost drooled by it. “Oh would you look at that. My fantasies has come to reality.”

“When you began working out, I got so invested to explore how you actually look physically, without any clothes for me to be blocked.” She sniffed at your clothed crotch, smelling its musky scent. “I always assumed that you’re packing from head to toe, especially this buddy you have here.” She giggled as she grate her fingers at the length of your cock.

She watched it twitch, begging to break free from its confines. “He wants me to touch it, let’s not make him wait, shall we?” IU smirked as she looks at you while she holds your underwear before removing it.

Your cock sprung freely, now in your full size erection brought by her teasing. “N-no… no!!! Don’t you dare, Ji-eun! T-this isn’t right!”

She pinched the foreskin of your cock which made you stretch your legs in pain. “SO IF ITS THEM, IT’S COMPLETELY ALRIGHT? FUCKING THEM ALL THAT EASILY?” 

She straddled your abdomen and slapped your face. “Yah, stop acting like that, pervert. From now on, I’m the only one who could get to touch you like this, you hear me? I’m the only one who has the access of this, you can’t fuck anyone than me because we love each other. Understood?” She directed while choking your neck.

“J-ji-eun… make it stop, please. I don’t want this to happen. Why did you changed?” You asked with a croaky voice.

“I never changed, what are you talking about? This side of me has been there in me for so long, and you left me with no other choice but to embrace it.” She gripped the girth of your cock and starts to stroke it. “Because if I won’t, I could never get to have you. And I hate that.”

Her hand pleasuring you is making you difficult to prevent expressing relief and satisfaction to her, because if you do, you’ll be looking like you’re enjoying this rather.

“It’ll take some time for you to get used to it, that’s why for now… all you have to do is lay there comfortably, while I do all the work for us tonight, baby. I’m going to use your cock, show you how more amazing our sex can be than what you had with those bunch of whores, and make ourselves feel good. What do you say?”

You didn’t answer as you frighteningly watched her jerk you off and spit on her hands to add more slimy friction. She also cupped your testicles and felt their weight. “They seem so full, God I’m going to make you let your semen fill me up to the brim. The thought of TWICE and Aespa not being able to take this from me anything is hnnghh…” She rubbed her pussy from her shorts. “Turning me on so bad.”

“Tonight, I’m going to make you mine. And we’ll be together forever.” 

“N-no… please, stop, Ji-eun” You cried as IU continues to increase her performance by involving her mouth now, sucking you passionately until the pacing increases.

She took the whole of it, buried her face down to your crotch where the tip of her nose is now poking your little pubic hairs. IU slid out and breathed deeply with some coughs after trying deepthroat for the first time on such huge cock like yours.

Gritting your teeth, gripping on the handcuffs tightly, shutting your eyes, you did everything to force yourself from cumming. It was super challenging especially this woman right here is shockingly well-trained which isn’t like her for her first time, she really does giving you a great blowjob so far.

Your balls weren’t safe either, her licking and fondling those pair is encouraging your seed to escape through your shaft but you tried to hold on. Adrenaline runs through your veins in frantic measures when IU starts to ejaculate you faster and tighter.

“O-oh my God… s-stop, I-I’m gonna…”

“I can tell you’re cumming, YN and I want it right now. Come on, give it all, baby.”

“Shit… n-no… please” IU continues to pump you demandingly. She also began caressing and playing with your balls which stimulates your crotch further.

“Fuck!!! If you keep doing that-”

“YES GIVE IT TO ME!!! CUM FOR ME, YN!!!”

“JI-EUNNN!!!!” You shouted her name as you blasted ropes of pure white cum straight in her face as she pointed your cock towards her. It felt like everything has gone slow mo, you lengthen your moans and whimpers while IU joyfully receives your massive load for a lewd facial.

She really wasn’t kidding. She emptied your cum by taking time to scoop them around her face and take it into her mouth. She was humming in delight at how delicious it was while you were left there still catching your breath at how long she edged your cock.

“Ready for round two?”

“What?”

“Silly you, the night has just begun for us. Don’t be such a killjoy, we can fuck for how long we want tonight. Only think about us, okay?”

Your tears flowed out of your eyes as IU starts to remove her clothes and present you her sexy body. Your hormones betrayed you, as the sight of her ample tits and that cute pussy of hers made your cock to harden again.

IU saw that and chuckled. Seeing how “excited” you are, she took you in her ride. The following hours were full of suffering in pleasure. Confusing as it is, but that’s only how you describe your situation at this point.

You felt betrayed as you thought your childhood friend would be the one to assist you for your goal. Yet here she was, becoming the worse than them by taking advantage of you physically, mentally, and emotionally for her own benefit, which was highly ironic of her.

It just confirms you that she’s out of her mind right now, and she definitely needs some help. But right now, you have to think for yourself first and how to get out of this.

IU continues to violate you as she used your cock to drain your cum greedily for her satisfaction all night long. Until 5AM, the bed creaks with her bouncing on your lap in sitting and reverse cowgirl, shoving her lips to your moist mouth, and even grinding around your body by using her petite figure. She also had you participate as well by turning yourselves in 69 position, making you eat her pussy with your hands in restriction.

With one last spurt of cum to her pussy, she slips out of your cock and collapses on top of you. She scanned your exhausted self and admired it.

“As what I promised, I let you out for today because like you said, you still got some shit to do with Aespa. 

Beware though, YN. Don’t do anything stupid, every step you make everywhere, you can’t run from me. I can even hire some bodyguards to watch you and I can pay them as long as they do their jobs right. That’s why I strongly warn you not to do anything stupid, I don’t want to punish you, okay?” She threatened. You gulped and slowly nodded at her insane motive.

Great, she just made everything worse for you. You cannot move around freely and finish what you’re planning for Aespa and TWICE because of how she traumatized and suffocates you in her obsessive attraction.

She went from being the wise option to  becoming your biggest problem, and it required you to focus on this by getting rid of her. This isn’t right, the relationship you’re about to have with her will never be ordinary.

However, this won’t be possible if you’ll do it alone. Now that she’s going to hire some men to watch your movements and possibly assist her of taking control of you, you will need help in this escapade.

ENDING #1 | THE BAD ENDING

It took you 2 days to guard your house if there’s any suspicious men standing in front of your house or she herself would go spying again.. There’s no shocker if IU already made her move this instant.

That woman must be going even crazier now that she doesn’t have you under her presence, she’ll do anything to keep herself updated about your routine.. For now, you don’t care that much as you dislike how she turned in a new persona that won’t grant her what she’s dying to claim since long time ago.

Time is running short, if the other side made themselves still active, you don’t have to just wait for nothing and submit yourself ini impending danger. “Fuck this” you whispered to yourself before grabbing a jacket and a hat, preparing  yourself in order to be unrecognizable on her radar.

In one swift alert, you immediately ran out of your house android the taxi you booked. Requesting for the driver to go faster as you told him the destination you’re about to go, your body slumped in both relief and worry for the possibility of other cars tailing the cab from behind, thankfully it didn’t happen.

After you were dropped at the familiar place, you walked through the pathway and entered the lobby. You informed the receptionist of your intention of being a guest who only wants to visit a close person that lives here with a convincing pretend.

Each footsteps as you get nearer and nearer made you tensed and anxious. It makes you harbor sorrow reminiscence visualizing all the memories you made with those girls in this place while remembering what happened the last time you and TWICE had a fight. Not a great goodbye to wrap up everything that started remarkably..

But, if you were that desperate and dedicated to formulate a plan of holding IU in custody, you have to grow balls and confront them about the aftermath including the words you wanted to say for them but never had the guts to went through.

You knocked on the door thrice and waited. The intercom attached below the emergency exit plan pinned on the wall began to speak.

“Who is it?” You recognized that voice, emotions swelling up inside.

“N-Nayeon, I-it’s YN…” Your response was shaky. 

“W-what are you doing here? What do you want?” Her tone suddenly changed to devious when your identity got unveiled.

“Look, Nayeon. I know you don’t want to see me or talk to me anymore but please just this once, hear me out.” You pleaded sincerely.. “I am completely owing what I did and I know I wronged for that, bigtime. I cost our relationship and I’ll always gonna regret doing that to you girls.

I love all, still. But i didn’t came to request for us to get back together. II came here instead to… ask some help.”

“Help?” Nayeon perturbed inquired. “For what?”

“You know my friend right? IU? Your biggest idol in K-Pop?” 

“Yeah?” She responded quizzically. “And what does this have to do with her?”

“She’s… gotten to be someone I used to know. Nayeon, my friend isn’t normal anymore after she… c-confessed to me and I humbly didn’t return the same admiration for her. She suddenly turned to be obsessed with me and now she wants me to be hers even if I don’t want to. I am scared, Nayeon. I don’t know what she might do but… I am dead serious that I want to distance myself away for me for how long it might take.”.

“Wait wait… are you saying that IU sunbaenim is a stalker of yours?”

“Exactly, and I know I messed up real bad that I have to come in here to meet up with you. I can’t even stay here for longer,  she’s watching me, Nay. Please, I want your help.” Your tone starts to be invaded with dread and depression. 

Her end went silence for a second before she spoke again, not with the words you were hoping for her to respond though. “YN… are you drunk? You sound like you’re just making up stories.” “W-what? N-no I’m not making this u-” “If you think for one single solitary second that I would just open this door and let us see each other face to face, you ain’t getting any of that. I’m not falling for your tricks anymore, YN.” “Nayeon!” Your panicking urges your voice to raise. “Y-you’re taking it differently, I came here just by that. How can I just pull a prank on you a-and…” “I CAN’T TRUST YOU ANYMORE, that’s why, YN. So are they.” Nayeon made it loud and clear. “IU sunbae is into you? Well I won’t be surprised with that, I mean you did the same with our Aespa juniors.” “Wait, what?” “You didn’t know? But don’t worry, I won’t let that occur, just for you to stop spinning people’s heads and play with their feelings in the end when you enter another relationship with them, not on our watch, YN.” Nayeon confidently said. “We already talked with them and guess what? They know our history now, scumbag.” You went speechless of Nayeon’s revelation, making sense why Aespa was being distant from you all this time. The more she brashly downgrade you, the lower your hopes fall of receiving rescue on your current dilemma. Tears form in your eyes as you bang your head in the wall feeling dizzy of giving up, all of your plans crumbled simultaneously. “Whether it’s true or not, we don’t care about you anymore, YN. We broke up with you,  it’s over for us. We don’t want nothing from you, so stop trespassing in our lives to gain another meaning or forgiveness because it’s your karma face and deserve it.”

She cut the line, leaving you slip on your knees and sob in anguish. Out with your revenge with Aespa and making amends with TWICE. All you can do now is to hold on, be stubborn to accept the fact that it’s IU’s world you’re about to live in. As you came home, you opened the lights and to your shock, IU was standing in the middle of the living room behind the chair. In front was a table covered in black cloth. Your fear subdues, desperation for help ran through your senses.

“You’re home. I hope you enjoyed meeting TWICE in person… behind my back.” IU wore a disturbing smile on her face as she sways a belt in her hand. “Ji-eun. It wasn’t what you’re thinking, okay? P-please, spare me.” You went on your knees and prayed for salvation. “You already got me once, I won’t let it repeat again.” she shook her head. “You think I could just walk around untracked?” She grabs her phone and saw a dot on a map that shows a location, and to your realization, she put a tracking system on your phone while you were asleep from her drugging you. “Very slick of you, YN. Having someone to have eyes and ears wherever you are, its kind of boring don’t you think?” “Ji-eun ah, please. Don’t do this, I- I will never do that, o-okay? Please… please…” You rushed to hug IU’s legs as you aggressively beg for your safety. “You should’ve done that way earlier.” IU’s tone went deep. “BOYS! COME OUT AND HELP ME WITH HIM!” Four men came out through your bedroom and approached you. Eyeing them all both confused and afraid, you tried to slip around and dodge their grasp as they began dragging you into the chair. “No… NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! J-JI-EUN AH!!!” You wailed as large men cuffed you in the seat, covered your mouth with a ball gag, and stripped your lower garment to expose your cock for IU.. As you groaned and grunted around the seat, you paused when IU unveiled the contents of the table, dozen set of what it seems to be sex toys and BDSM stuffs laid neatly. “I said it once and I warned you to not make me punish you, but since you’ve done the same to me, making me feel like I’m just as horrible as those bitches are. You’re gonna get it, YN.” She reached for a wand-looking vibrator and activated it. “I’m going to fucking drain your cum until morning as you sit there like a good boy for me. Understood?” You hummed in denial, not wanting any of it but you’re completely helpless at this point. Without any further ado, the bodyguards left the scene as IU starts to stimulate your cock by poking the wand’s tip on it, feeling its intense vibration to make your shudder in the chair. Meanwhile, TWICE and Aespa are on their respective dorms, their still kept feelings for you had them contemplating if what they did at you was right. ENDING #2: BITTERSWEET ENDING After Nayeon went silent on the intercom, she decided to discard her doubts at you as part of her is telling that you must be telling the truth. “If that’s what will make you to quit pursuing us, then fine. Just this once and when it’s done. I want you to disappear and stay away from us forever,got it ?” You hesitated for a while, you still do love her, but your fate nowadays is demanding a sacrifice of that miracle to repair what’s broken and start all over again with TWICE. Tears flowed in your eyes as you accepted that you and them will never meant to last… or probably to love one another. “O-okay. After this I… I’ll stop bothering any of you again. T-thank you, Nayeon.” She didn’t answer anymore. You left the front of their dorm with bittersweet tears flowing in your cheek, conflicted in relief and devastation for your heart to submerge. As you came home, you opened the lights and to your shock, IU was standing in the middle of the living room behind the chair. In front was a table covered in black cloth. Your fear subdues, desperation for help ran through your senses.

“You’re home. I hope you enjoyed meeting TWICE in person… behind my back.” IU wore a disturbing smile on her face as she sways a belt in her hand. “Ji-eun. It wasn’t what you’re thinking, okay? P-please, spare me.” You went on your knees and prayed for salvation. “You already got me once, I won’t let it repeat again.” she shook her head. “You think I could just walk around untracked?” She grabs her phone and saw a dot on a map that shows a location, and to your realization, she put a tracking system on your phone while you were asleep from her drugging you. “Very slick of you, YN. Having someone to have eyes and ears wherever you are, its kind of boring don’t you think?” “Ji-eun ah, please. Don’t do this, I- I will never do that, o-okay? Please… please…” You rushed to hug IU’s legs as you aggressively beg for your safety. “You should’ve done that way earlier.” IU’s tone went deep. “BOYS! COME OUT AND HELP ME WITH HIM!” Four men came out through your bedroom and approached you. Eyeing them all both confused and afraid, you tried to slip around and dodge their grasp as they began dragging you into the chair. “No… NO! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME! J-JI-EUN AH!!!” They bounded your hands on the handlebars of the chair and muffled your mouth with ball gag to restrict any sounds you create that may grab the neighborhood’s attention. Unbeknownst to them, TWICE already called the police including IU’s company regarding about to matter. Sirens echoed around the area, IU and the bodyguards became alerted with the blue, light, and red lights flashing through the window. “Shit, w-what did you do!” IU barked furiously at you. Sounds of running footsteps can be heard from outside. The doors were barged, policemen are gathered outside as the bodyguards surrendered. “Motherfuckers! Why didn’t you all shoot them!” “POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” The policemen warned IU. Panicking, she quickly grabbed a knife and pointed it at your neck as she wraps your head around her arm. “HOLD IT!” The leader commanded his men as they start raising their guns at her. “LEE JI-EUN, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR KIDNAPPING YN/LN. DROP YOUR KNIFE OR WE WON’T HESITATE TO SHOOT YOU.” “DON’T YOU DARE, I WILL STAB HIM RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW!” IU exclaimed. You couldn’t do anything but to sob and stare at the police for mercy.

To your surprise, all of TWICE and aespa members came inside your house while being guarded by the police. They saw your pitiful condition with IU, and they saw the truth with their own eyes. The once idolized by many has turned to a horrendously obsessive   love-crazed psychopath. “IU SUNBAENIM, STOP THIS. PLEASE!” Jihyo shouted. “THIS ISN’T YOU. DON’T RUIN YOUR CAREER JUST FOR HIM!” Karina added. “ALL OF YOU, SHUT UP! DON’T DICTATE ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO FOR HIM.” IU grunted. “HE’S MINE ONLY! NOBODY CAN TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME, ESPECIALLY YOU BUNCH OF SLUTS!” “Unnie, don’t do this. You can have him now, he’s all yours.” You stared at Nayeon as you heard her. She glances at you, unspoken lingering feelings remaining for one another caught that as a means of goodbye. “We’ve had enough and it stays like that. You can make him change his feelings and grab his attention for yours only without any use of violence of harm. That’s not how you win a person’s heart by turning into a monster.” IU just listened at Nayeon’s appeal. The police were still holding on to their guard in case the suspect pulls out a life-risking manoeuvre. “You were mistaken. It’s your time now, unnie. You should’ve made use of it properly.” Ningning assisted her senior to prevent the misled superstar. “He wouldn’t let me.” IU started crying as she held at the back of your chair for assistance. She dropped the knife she use for threat, the police rushed to arrest the woman while some removed you from hostage. IU was taken to a psychiatric mental hospital in Seoul while you are under therapy due to depression from everything that transpired in the past months. As one last proper goodbye before parting ways for good, TWICE brought you food for your recovery and thanked you for everything despite of what happened before officially turning yourselves from strangers with lots of buried memories created together..

ENDING #3: HAPPY ENDING“I’ll think about it and inform them.” Nayeon told you before ending your communication with them. Grateful and holding on for one last hope at least after she considered your concern, now you wait to learn if your chance of survival still exists against IU’s control. Hours later, IU surprisingly greeted you in a menacing way, invading your property. The bodyguards joined her to set you up for a punishment she could think of by sexually torturing you. Sirens of police cars can be heard, your heart pumped fast as you heard the sound of rescue coming for you. Policemen arrived at the scene of a crime, they cornered IU and the bodyguards. Your eyes watered as you saw TWICE and Aespa made their way to help the police encourage IU to retreat in the power of the law. “Unnie, don’t do this. This won’t make you any less better for him. ” You stared at Nayeon as you heard her. She glances at you and nodded as a gesture to your gratitude. “Consider about your career and your relationship with YN through these years. You’re gonna go and throw them away just like that? “ALL THOSE PEOPLE DID IS TO TAKE EVERYTHING FROM MY POPULARITY AND SUCCESS!!!” IU complained. “That’s why I don’t feel complete even at the peak of my life, because all they did is to steal from my hardwork and passion for my dreams! That’s how awful they are!” Until I met YN again, and he reminded me that he’s the only person around anybody that surrounds me who has been loyal to me. Then in a snap, I wanted more. I came to my senses that it was never enough if it wasn’t him. I don’t just need his company, I need his love.” “Unnie, what you’re doing won’t you make you earn it. Love isn’t something to demand.” Ningning aided her senior to change the deluded superstar’s manipulated mind. “And most importantly, you can’t go terrorizing his life just to be with you.”

“We can’t force anybody to love us back.” Nayeon stated in melancholy. “Please, unnie. You’re my idol, I hate to see you turn into this.” Her worries disappeared when they all saw IU broke out of laughter. “Is that so? Forgive me not, Nayeon-ah… but if I can’t have him, I’ll just make sure NOBODY ELSE WILL!”

“NO!!!” She was about to stab you but the police reacted quickly, they shot IU in the shoulder, preventing your death and a murder case to settle. She lunged back and fell on the floor as the police hurried to arrest the wounded woman while the girls helped you out of the chair. You cried in their embrace as they comforted you. “You’re safe now, YN.” Jihyo whispered to your ears as she laid your head to her shoulder to absorb your pain selflessly. IU was taken to a psychiatric mental hospital in Seoul while you are under therapy due to depression from everything that transpired in the past months. As one last proper goodbye before parting ways for good, TWICE brought you food for your recovery. Aespa also personally apologized for how they treated you and concluded with a confession that they fell in love with you too but called it done as they wanted to pave the way for others they believed to be more suitable for him. In return, friendship has been restored by a closure with them that went smoothly because of how open-minded they are as you admitted what you've been planning to them secretly. You noticed a letter inserted on a basket of fruits in your last day of stay on your room. Reading the letter, a particular paragraph caught your eyes that made you tearful and heart throbbing in longing for their long-awaited affection. Finishing your treatment with the doctors handpicked by the girls with the help of the company’s connection, you left the hospital in great condition. A van stopped and its doors opened, Jihyo exits along the rest of the TWICE members. You can’t help but to cry again seeing them, which can be said the same for how they feel for you too. They came to approach and envelope you to a group hug, emotions going lively inside. “I’m sorry for everything, girls. I really do.” You apologized for the nth time and you will never stop reminding them how you willingly make yourself accountable. “I never stopped loving you all.” you finally said the words you’ve wanted to tell them. “We know, even if we try to forget you we just… couldn’t.” Jihyo replied. “Because our hearts prefer nothing but you. It’s hard to let go when we couldn’t lie to ourselves that we still love you. ”

Entering the van and away from the sight of the public, all TWICE members kissed you and included you in a group cuddle as they ride back home for a new beginning of their relationship. == END ==