#please let's not talk about NG‚ this is my christmas present

[cappulcino]

They're so beautiful I can't 😭

Morpheus granted me a wish tonight. I'll finally be able to re-read them on paper.

[el-dritchknight]

all i want for christmas is you (passing all your fucking exams) [grecinto secret santa gift fic]

Title: all i want for christmas is you (passing all your fucking exams)

Summary: Law student Ilyong Jacinto is facing his toughest challenge yet: finals week at the University of Santo Tomas. Luckily, his boyfriend, Goyo, is there to support him no matter what.

Characters | Ships: Ilyong Jacinto/Goyo del Pilar | Grecinto

Notes: Dates are based off the 2018 UST Academic calendar HAHA. For PCHU Secret Santa twitter user @SilverCai16!! Pasensya na na super clutch itey ^^; regardless, I hope you like it uwu 

Dec 14 - End of Classes

Books, check. Pens, check. Highlighters, notebooks, and emergency coffee: check, check, and triple check.

Ilyong stretches his fingers above his head then rolls his shoulders back. Classes may have ended, but the real battle — the preparation for finals week — begins now.

He picks up Pointers in Criminal Review and turns to the first page .

“I don’t want a lot for Christmas~”

He blinks at the sound, checks to see if he accidentally played music on his phone. Waley. He shrugs. Baka kapit-bahay lang yun.  “There is just one thing I need!”

...Isang maingay na kapitbahay. Ilyong huffs out an annoyed sigh and brings his attention back to the book. ‘Criminal law is a branch or division of public law that’ —

“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE PRESENTS UNDERNEATH THE CHRISTMAS TREE!”

Puta naman o!

Ilyong tromps out of his room and out of the house before he goes out of his mind.

“Gago, alas tres pa lang ng hapon, bakit may mga nag-cacaroling—!” He stops short at the sight of his boyfriend, Goyo del Pilar, donning a santa hat and a shit-eating grin. For reasons unknown, a guitar is strapped to his shirtless chest.

Ilyong knows he should probably tell Goyo off for disrupting the peace (Ilyong’s peace, if no one else’s), but he can only stop and stare. Damn, those pandesal abs.

“I just want you for my own,” Goyo continues to croon, voice at a reasonable volume now that he isn’t vying for Ilyong’s attention, “more than you could ever know…”  Tearing his gaze away from Goyo’s chest took effort, but the anxious, niggling thought of gago, may finals ka pa! gives Ilyong the mental strength he needs. He walks closer to Goyo, shaking his head bemusedly. “Gagoyo, anong ginagawa mo?”

In response, Goyo puts a finger against Ilyong’s lips.

“Make my wish come trueee!” Ilyong roll his eyes at the exaggerated vowels, but Goyo is undeterred. “All I want for Christmas is… you~!”

He starts to dance a little to the upbeat bells, hips moving from side to side. A smile cracks Ilyong’s facade, a surge of fondness going through his chest amidst all the confusion. Goyo continues to kembot, until the music is sharply cut off by an obnoxiously loud air horn and a man’s voice yelling about subscriptions to Spotify Premium.

Goyo curses. “I hate these ads so much.”  “Mag-premium ka na kasi, may student discount ka naman ah,” Ilyong says through a bout of snickering. He points to the guitar. “Or try mo kaya tugtugin ‘yan next time.”

“Sige, sabi mo ah! Next time, I will play the guitar sa susunod kong harana sa ‘yo.” Goyo’s grin is brighter than a ray of sun, and warmer still, than the heat of sun bearing down on them.

Ilyong’s face seems to burn hotter than said sun. He crosses his arms, looking away. “Basta’t siguraduhin mo na wala nang ads.”

“Oo na! Anyway, Mali-Goyong pasko, babe!” Goyo pushes his guitar behind him and wraps his arms around Ilyong, who most definitely doesn’t squawk as his face comes in contact with Goyo’s pecs.

“M-Maligayang Pasko, mahal,” Ilyong returns, his reply somewhat muffled in Goyo’s bare chest. He talks a moment to breathe, to compose himself, before pulling away slightly to look his boyfriend in the eye. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Akala ko nasa Katipunan ka pa.”

Goyo lets him go to pose with a flourish. “I’m here to support you, of course! Alam ko mag-fi-finals na kayo, and need mo ng emotional support at taga-remind ng pagkain, so here I am!”  A snort escapes Ilyong. The edges of his mouth curls in amusement. “Aww, sweet mo naman... Pero di ba finals week niyo ngayon?”

“Kakatapos lang, actually,” Goyo answers with a relieved grin. “Thank god for early scheduling. Though dapat meron akong Philo orals ngayon, e my classmate switched with me kasi gusto niya mag-Bora.” “Swerte naman ng mga Atenista.”  “Swerte nanam ang isang Atenista,” Goyo corrects,” at ako iyon dahil swerte ako sa ‘yo.”  “Corny mo.” Ilyong snorts, but ends up averting his eyes in embarrassment. What did he do to deserve such an adorkable boyfriend? “Pero, uy. Sigurado ka ba talaga? Medyo… single-minded daw ako kapag nag-aaral, especially sa finals.”  Goyo smiles and puts his hands on Ilyong’s shoulders, giving them a comforting squeeze. “Sure na sure ako, mahal! Like I said, I really just want to support you. Plus, I kind of need a break from Katipunan, anyway.”  “Kahit mainit ulo ko sa ‘yo?”  “Kailan ba naman hindi? Aray!” Goyo laughs and rubs the spot on his arm that Ilyong had playfully punched. “Oo, G ako sa kahit ano, basta’t kasama kita.”

Ilyong’s blush strikes back with a vengeance. A shy smile blossoms on his lips. “Well, thank you, mahal. Pero alam mo na hindi mo ‘to kailangan gawin, right?”

“Alam ko,” Goyo answers easily. “Pero gusto ko.”  “Goyo, I —”  “Para naman maharana kita ng maayos next time. Mahirap pag naging cockblock ang acads, noh?” This time, Goyo manages to dodge Ilyong’s incoming punch to his shoulder. “Joke, joke lang! ‘Kaw naman, ‘di mabiro o.”

Ilyong rolls his eyes and grabs Goyo’s bicep. “Gago ka talaga kahit kailan. O siya! Tara na nga sa loob. Magkape ka muna para matauhan ka sa mga kalokohan mo.”

Dec 17 - Study day

Ilyong is sitting on the floor. Flashcards surround him from every angle. He is trapped, and victory can only come at the cost of memorizing all the provisions on these fucking 3x5 index cards.

He flops down on his back, heedless of all the flashcards he’s crushing under the weight of his fatigue.

“Okay ka lang, babe?” Goyo calls from his place on Ilyong’s bed, looking up from his Nintendo Switch.

“Yeah, nagpapahinga lang,” Ilyong responds listlessly, staring up at the ceiling. It’s such a pretty white color, Ilyong notices. He’s never had a chance to ponder about the ceiling before, but now seems to be a good time to fully appreciate how white it is. Parang kulay ng mga ulap o kaya ng mga sinusuot sa lamay… o ng scantron sheet na binibigay tuwing exams.

...Putangina, bukas na ang finals. Ilyong groans. He wishes he can just disappear into the pile of flash cards, but Bathala was not known to be that merciful.

Goyo’s pretty face suddenly looms over him, blocking his view of the fascinating ceiling. “Hi.”  “Hi.”  “You need help getting up?”  “Please.”  Goyo takes ahold of Ilyong’s arm and lifts him up with an ease Ilyong envies. Goyo runs his hand up Ilyong’s arm to his shoulder, rubbing it soothingly. “Wanna talk about it?”  “Eh, wala namang isyu. Stressed lang ako. Feeling ko e-explode yung utak ko kapag nagbasa ako ng isa pang flashcard.”  “Same,” Goyo says sympathetically.

Ilyong snorts and lightly swats his arm. “Gago, anong same? Naglalaro ka lang diyan, e.” “I mean, di naman literally, but I get the feeling, you know? Exams were early, yeah, but they were still hell. Traumatised pa nga ako, babe.” “Aww, kawawa ka naman.”

“Yeah, gumagaling lang ako sa kiss mo, eh.” Ilyong hates how easily he turns red at Goyo’s words. “Landi mo, gago.”

“‘Kaw kasi, ang cute mo kapag nagblublush ka.”  “Stooop,” Ilyong says, covering his face with his hands. He cannot take much more of this.

“Okay, pero seryoso, Ilyong.” Goyo gives him a second before gently taking Ilyong’s hands into his own. He stares into Ilyong’s eyes with a serious gentleness that Ilyong only ever sees directed at him. “Just breathe and rest your head for a bit. You’ve been studying non-stop since you woke up three hours ago.”

“Kailangan ko pa i-memorise yung mga provision —”  “Makakahintay yung provision na yan. Kailangan mo mag-rest. You’ve been studying for the past three days also. You deserve a break.”  “I don’t—”  “Sige ka, you’ll get sick if you don’t rest. Si Enteng, yun yung ginawa - he worked and studied so hard that he got sick on the first day of exams.”  A horrified gasp escapes Ilyong’s throat. “What happened?”  “Wala, nag make-up exams si gago… and the make-ups are harder than the original tests.”

“Oof.”  “Oof is right, babe. So, ano? Are you convinced? Matutulog ka na ba?”  Ilyong rolls his eyes but nods in grudging defeat. “Opo, matutulog na po ako.”

Goyo is lucky that Ilyong doesn’t have the energy to wipe that smug smile off his face. “Yehey! Kasi ang bait mo, I’ll make timpla coffee when you wake up.”  Placated by the promise of caffeine, Ilyong settles down on his bed while Goyo sits next to him, presumably back to playing on his Switch. A few peaceful seconds pass.

“…Uy, Goyo?”  “Mm?”  “Salamat.”  “No problem, babe. Anything for my favorite future lawyer.”

Despite the massive headache threatening to split his head open, Ilyong smiles. He feels like he could take on the entire world.

 Dec 18 - Armageddon Final Exams begin

Ilyong feels like he could tear the entire world apart. He glares daggers at the google document that is supposed to contain their interpretation of certain provisions for a final paper. Instead, all Ilyong sees are lines and lines of Sergio Osmeña and Manuel L. Quezon… flirting.

Nonong, we should really get to examining the sample case facts.

how about you examine my ‘witness’ instead ;)

NONONG, PLEASE.

the ‘witness’ is my dick btw

YUUUCK! Ilyong physically recoils from his laptop. Lord, bakit ako pinagpala ng ganitong groupmates?!

:(

Semi-colon open parenthesis is right. Osmeña and Quezon may be brilliant students, the top two of the class to boot, but Ilyong had had it with them. Flirting openly with one’s boyfriend is alright, great even! Ilyong admires the brazenness in this very Catholic, very traditionalist university.

Pero puta naman o, google docs is not the time and place for this kind of landian! Hoy, Ilyong types below the sad face, fingers shaking with the attempt to stay calm. Pwede bang mamaya na iyan? Tapusin muna natin ang trabaho natin, please.

It’s a testament to Ilyong’s self-control that he hadn’t sworn at them - okay, well, that he deleted the curse words that peppered his comment. God, he misses being groupmates with Feli and Remi. While the two of them were constantly sweet and flirty, they didn’t let it interfere with their work.

Sorry about that, Jacinto.

yeah, sorry :( we’ll be good

You better.

Ilyong heaves out a sigh. He had finished his parts for the paper, but more than half had yet to be written. Combined with the other papers he still had to write and the other exams he had to study for, Ilyong wanted to rip something apart. Annoying group mates, while certainly rippable, were not helping.

“Babe, you okay?”  Annoying boyfriend, while sweet and adorable, is also of no help at the moment.

“No,” Ilyong flatly says after a beat.

“Is there anything I can do? Anything I can get you?”  “I’m fine, I —” He takes a deep breath. Aggravated as Ilyong is, the gesture is still appreciated. “I think I just need to be alone right now.”  Goyo nods, understanding. It had taken a while for him to know when Ilyong needed him close and when Ilyong needed a moment to himself. While it still isn’t an easy feat, as they both still needed to work on mindfulness and communication, it’s a task that they’re determined to work through together.

“A’ight, I’ll head out and visit some friends muna, but promise me you’ll take care, okay? Gamitin mo yung poporo timer.”  Ilyong raises an eyebrow. “...You mean pomodoro timer?”  “Same thing,” Goyo calls out as he gathers up his things and walks out of the room. “Sige, love you, babe! I’ll be back later.”

Ilyong merely hums, his attention already back to his laptop.

Hours later, it is in the midst of writing papers and cramming tomes worth of information in his head that Ilyong realises that Goyo has returned. The boy is slumped over, asleep in the chair beside him. Not only that, but Goyo had apparently brought food; the take-out tocilog sits next to Goyo's elbow, cold and untouched.

A soft smile steals across Ilyong’s lips. He reaches out and places a blanket over Goyo’s shoulders.

Dec 21 - Final exams end

The sound of a door sharply being slammed open heralds llyong’s return. Goyo rushes towards him but stops short at the sight of Ilyong’s downcast gaze, and the way he drops his bag on the floor of his room.

Goyo slowly approaches him with all the caution of a man facing an animal in the wild. “Ilyong, mahal…?”

“Goyo…” Ilyong looks up, revealing the horrendously dark circles under his eyes and tired smile on his lips. “Goyo, tapos na. Tapos na exams! TAPOS NA EXAMS!”

Before he’s even finished speaking, Goyo takes Ilyong in his arms. He lifts him up effortlessly and twirls his love in a gleeful circle. “Babe, that’s great! Ang galing mo talaga! Celebrate ta — mmph!”

The sudden warmth of Ilyong’s mouth against his catches him by surprise. Goyo’s quick to react, however, already cupping the back of Ilyong’s head with one hand as he deepens the kiss. It’s sloppy compared to their usual momols, but Goyo doesn’t care. He can feel the relief and joy radiating off Ilyong with each press of their smiling lips. It’s a kiss that communicates Ilyong’s gratitude and his love—a kiss to which Goyo eagerly responds, conveying his own love and willingness to do anything for the other boy.

“Saan mo gusto mag-cecelebrate mamaya? Libre ko,” Ilyong says breathlessly after pulling away.

Goyo laughs, touched. “‘Di mo yan kailangan gawin, babe.”

“Gusto ko.” Ilyong’s grin is radiant, near blinding.  Matching his boyfriend’s smile, Goyo leans in once again. He’ll think of where he wants to eat later. Right now, all he wants is to do is reward his cute, smart, hard-working boyfriend.

[octranslations]

Haiiro no Ginka Volume 2

Haiiro no Ginka Volume 2

Translation Credits: 1999.1.20 DEBUT SINGLE IN STORE - Risu “Akuro no Oka” “Yurameki” in Italy - Risu Shinya Nemunemu hakushi no daigyakusu - Mbear Ganso Kaoruya - Nao Meisho de Meishuu Mr. Drums’ House Edition - Risu Aibiki no Mori Toshiya - Risu Kyo's Corner (Announcement) - Risu SEXUAL Inoue LA Diary - Risu NEWS L.A. Edition - Risu

1999.1.20 DEBUT SINGLE IN STORE

"Zan" "Akuro no Oka" "Yurameki"

Debuted at 5th, 6th, 7th

Music Shop Kunihara?Goryokaku Store

Sapporo?GURUGURU   Mr. Habaguchi

Shibuya 109 also has Dir en grey!

January 20, the major debut singles are finally on sale. The CD stores were also filled with Dir en grey, and you can see different stores nationwide decorated by Dir en grey. They made a large appearance even at Shibuya 109, and I think there were people who took pictures of it. Also in the Oricon Chart they debuted 5th, 6th and 7th. The members and staff both are grateful to all the fans who wouldn't have made this possible without their unwavering crazy and warm following/support?

“Akuro no Oka” “Yurameki” in Italy

When we are welcoming the end of 1998, the 5 members went to Italy for the PV shooting of “Akuro no Oka” and “Yurameki”. On the way they waited 4 hours to get on the next plane, Shinya read a book that he brought with him from Japan, Kyo and Kaoru ate pizza. (By the way it seems that Die was pretty ripped off by this store without him realizing it…) From here Kyo got addicted to pizza and ate it the whole time in Italy.

Then were forced to ride on the bus for 2 to 3 hours, at the end of a long travel without being able to get off in the destined airport due to strong winds and having the time to arrive and sleep in the hotel they started with make-up. The shooting for that day were the individual scenes and performance scenes of “Akuro no Oka” at a western style house that is also used in movies.

On the second day, the scheduled departure time was 6:30am. Having a breakfast buffet at the hotel with their complete make-up and wearing their costumes was a pretty conspicuous bizarre sight. A shrine that looked like the acropolis was today’s shooting location. Here was the image scene and individual scenes carrying instruments. These was the first costumes for the day. Because of it being quite cold, coat and mufflers were vital while the camera was not running.

Third day, the final day. After shooting the image scene at the back alley streets in town was the shooting of “Yurameki” at a church. While waiting there were pigeons that gathered near the bus because of the bread that was scattered. When Shinya was about to give bread, because of the noisy Italians who passed by, the pigeons went somewhere…

“The stupid foreigners?” Shinya was angry.

Take Note of This Italy Important News

They waited for 4 hours in Milan

Breakfast in full make-up and full costume

Shinya seems cold in his costume

Temples are cold…

Kyo, is addicted to pizza!

Loo~ng travel and waiting time

Die was ripped off

Toshiya caused a disturbance! (Details are in the news page!)

Shinya Nemunemu hakushi no daigyakusu

Hello everyone.  This corner has begun again.  Last time there wasn't much so now there probably won't be much either, right?  Well then, so let's introduce the first postcard.

"Please tell me about Shinya-kun's beloved dog, Papii-chan."

This is Papii-chan, who lives at my parent's home.  The name is Papii because the breed is called papillon.  It's quite a fashionable way of naming a dog.  Of course I named him.  We got him in December of my third year of elementary school.  At that time he was already two months old.  At that time he was quite tough and the small me was often chased and bitten.  Now, because he's grown old he doesn't really bite, but his quick anger hasn't changed at all.  He really gets angry quickly.   He definitely gets angry five times a day.  For example, he is cuddling with someone and if another person calls "Papii" he will go to snap at that person with great strength.  Also, Papii loves Pedigree Champion dog food and he won't eat any dog food other than that at all.  The Pedigree Champion dog food seems so delicious, so even if you stare at it from the side, he'll get angry.  He also likes meat and if I'm eating meat he comes and says, "Give me meat" .  And so if I pretend to give him the meat and don't he gets really angry.  He's a troublesome dog.   He always thinks of himself as the best.  On the stairs as well, he alone... it alone cannot go up by itself. In the past he went up but, he planned on going up the stairs of the new place we moved to the way he did in our old house so his feet became tangled, and he got hurt.  Since that time when Papii wants to use the stairs he'll call "someone come here".  And then someone will come and carry him up the stairs.?Papii also gets quite cold.  In the past whenever it would get cold I would take out the kotatsu. Then, I would set up the kotatsu and leave the room for a little and return, and already Papii would be sleeping in the kotatsu. To think he's a dog, why does he get cold so easily??Ah, no matter what I said, he's a very cute dog.

Last time I wrote about Nakata Daimaru Racket as Shinya's little corner, a considerable amount postcards came concerning that.  I've picked a few from among those postcards.

It's popularity before is like Downtown's [popularity] now.

He was definitely on TV every New Years.

When I asked my mother, she said "You don't know him?  Your father and your grandfather and your grandmother know him.  You don't know anything huh."#When I asked my family they said, "What...? You don't know? Ah~, it's the end of Japan. There's nothing that can be done."

Like what Shinya-kun said, I think a lot of people know him. ?So, well, just take a look at this and maybe you'd know, it is said that in Japan if you don't know Nakata Daimaru Racket then you are not Japanese.

So, that being said I will explain Nakata Daimaru Racket to you.

Nakata Daimaru Racket It was said that it is a Manzai that would make you laugh in three seconds, he was a big star until the end of the war, it's the popularity was twice more than "Kashimashi Musume". As for the beginning, Nakata Daimaru debuted but his partner at that time died.  After that, he rejoined with his brother racket and debuted.

With the first second of flawless speech, the continuous gags, the viewers will be sent into a vortex of laughter. The younger brother racket accidentally laughs a lot at Daimaru's adlibs and that would again invite laughter from the audience.   After Daimaru's death, Racket managed variously alone, but recently it so happens that he is retired.

And that's it.  And so there were many postcards that came asking, "Why does Shinya-san know something that way back?" that's because I have lived 10 times longer than everyone. Fufufufufu(Hehehehe)......

See you again.

Extra: About Nakata Daimaru Racket Toshiya: When I asked my friends, they knew. Why did that many postcards come? Die: If you write it at the very end then they'd read it! Didn't it seem like it was saying, "send me [postcards]" right? So they'll send it over!

Translator's Notes: 1. Manzai (??) is a style of stand-up comedy in Japan, which usually involves two performers—a straight man (tsukkomi) and a funny man (boke)—trading jokes at great speed. Most of the jokes revolve around mutual misunderstandings, double-talk, puns and other verbal gags. In recent times, manzai has often been associated with the Osaka region, and manzai comedians often speak in the Kansai dialect during their acts.

2. A kotatsu (??) is a low, wooden table frame covered by a futon, or heavy blanket, upon which a table top sits. Underneath is a heat source, often built into the table itself. Kotatsu are used almost exclusively in Japan, although a similar product called a korsi is also used in Iran.

3. For the curious here is a clip of Daimaru Racket (Kansai-ben only):{youtube}LjNdbLZd-9c{/youtube}

Ganso Kaoruya

Welcome. Thank you for coming to Ganso Kaoruya . This time there are only a few things but please take a look.

It can’t be seen clearly but it’s a pretty excellent work.

Again, it’s my stuff. Devilman & Amon Black Version

Great job!! You were even able to create the detailed parts.

Next challenge is in Kitty-chan!!

Again, my stuff.

I never give-up~

…Hello.

Recently, I have been rummaging for and buying CDs, LDs, Videos(VHS). Even in LA I was brainwashed by MTV and bought a lot like Shawn Mullins and the like but mostly I didn’t listen to it and went home. All of a sudden I would go into a record shop but before I just bought CDs but I wanted to watch movies so I ended up buying the movie and it’S soundtrack that I thought, “I would never watch!!” which was Titanic. Well, it is a good thing! However!! There were tons of lives that I wanted to see during the end of the year and beginning of the year. I wanted to watch D=SIRE’s Liquid(room)! (I was really supposed to go~) I wasn’t able to watch Bauhaus in October! Marilyn Manson and Gastunk also made me want to cry…therefore, I am looking for more creations. (Totally unrelated though.)  Send me things that will clear up my anger!! And so, Ah! Thank you for the Christmas Presents and New Year’s Card!  

This month’s Heavy rotation (currently, January 20)

Fear Factory

Obsolete

The Goo Goo Dolls

Dizzy Up the Girl

Garbage  

Version 2.0

Shiina Ringo  

Koko de kisu shite

Motion Picture  

Psycho

Shawn Mullins

Soul’s Core

Rammstein  

Sehnsucht

Devin Townsend

Infinity

AKIRA Ootomo Katsuhiro

Meisho de Meishuu Mr. Drums’ House Edition

So, is everyone in “a knot” doing well? This is a bit or rather pretty late but thank you to all the fans who sent me presents, messages, letters etc. for my birthday last year. Also thank you always for sending me fan letters. I properly read all of it so there is no need to worry.

So, Meisho de Meishuu Vol. 2 is, what do we have here!! Once again we have a guest.

Let me introdu~ce, Mr. Drums who does Tanaka in Dir en grey (refer to the picture)

This time let’s go a bit back to Christmas. The location is Mr. Drums’ house where he has prepared 5 bottles of champagne. By the way, on this day, Mr. Drums’ mother and younger brother Kazuma were in the house, this mother was very annoying and kept on harassing us, she smoked things like echo or wakaba, Kazuma is a delinquent and picked a fight with me so it was awful. But the most awful one was Mr. Drums. Apparently he is weak with alcohol, even though he said that he has work after this interview, his face was completely red, even his ears were red, and in the end he couldn’t speak. But since it’s my corner, even if it were forced he drank and evaluated [the alcohol]. Then Mr. Drums suddenly tried to run on top of the TV, when I chased him and tried to make him drink, finally he went down. That’s unfortunate. But he was able to properly drink 5 kinds [of alcohol] so please read the table of comments after.

“Itadakima~su?”

“How are you feeling recently?”

“…….silence”

“Mr. Drums please drink some more!”

“What are you doing?”

“That’s it”

Well, this time I will end [this column] with this. Well as for the season, it will soon be spring, for those of you who want to try drinking it why not also drink it together with your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend on Christmas this year (this is way in the future…) (For those who say that they don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend, please try finding one until then.)

So next time I will send it from LA! I am planning again on calling a guest so please look forward to it.

Well, until we meet again (mata aimashou). Espresso!!

Today’s Wine

Wine Name

Comment

Score

1

CASTELL BLANCH ROSAD CAVA

It seems to have a pretty bitter smell…Ah! Yes it’s a red win chic that’s easy to drink. It feels like you’re drinking in Artist Room A

It feels like swimming in the Aegean sea ? Mr. Drums

6.79

2

SUNTORY SPARKLING WINE SILVER

It’s pretty sweet. Well it’s for you guys, middle and high school students. It’s ant hell…what’s ant hell? “to get worms (in your stomach)” (Mr. Drums) It is on the edge whether you fall into ant hell or not.

Too sweet. It feels like being assimilated to it while being buried in sugar and the surrounding sugar is burnt by a lighter ? Mr. Drums

5.55555??

3

CROISIE LIGHT

I think this is for elementary school kids….because it’s sweet, I think elementary school students would really like this.

Being hit by a rain of iron mold, that moment made me feel better, I feel nauseous I think I’m drunk (nods) ? Mr. Drums

3.1415926

4

SUNTORY SPARKLING WINE GOLD

It completely doesn’t feel like drinking in a high end club in Ginza.

It feels like I can see 5 cm inside ? Mr. Drums

6.81

5

VARICHONET CLERC MERLOT GAMAY

This is for 17 year olds…feels like a 17 year old loose socks

This is the most delicious. It has sweetness and bitterness, in memories (drunk) a 41 year old…(definitely drunk) his wife left him, on the side of a too sweet park, I become Shinya ? Mr. Drums

5.59

Aibiki no Mori Toshiya

Happy New Year! This year together with "aknot" please support Dir en grey!

This is Toshiya's corner which will begin again, thanks to everyone who thought and sent titles! But somehow there wasn't one that fit so I tried thinking with my insufficient/lacking head! And I thought to go with "Aibiki no Mori" (rendezvous forest) as Toshiya's corner title!! The origin of the corner title is, actually I copied the name (laughs) Since I really love Sakamoto Ryuichi-san and among Nakatani Miki's album called, "Shokumotsu Rensa (Food Chain)", there was a song called "Aibiki no Mori de" and for me, I personally liked that song...so yes, I copied it (laughs) But, so far in my own way I tried the title while completely ignoring things like the meaning of "Aibiki no Mori" is a journal of memories where "I wanted to make it like a forest of secrets that I have with the fans and everyone". It's a bit fishy? (laughs) But, in this corner I don't want to write lies and I want to tell the truth to everybody

??? What in the world are those numbers above???Ah well. Yesyes, I want it to be a corner that everyone reads so I decided with "Aibiki no Mori". Thank you very much to the people who thought of and sent titles!! And I'm sorry!! Also next I am asking for costume designs. I am asking for designs that you would like me to wear. Well even though all of it won't be OK, I may use parts of it. I am waiting for everybody's sense and avant-garde ideas. Also the people who were chosen will have their names and member id posted in this corner and after that I will send them a present.

I am looking forward to everyone's design pictures!!

Well then please get lost in "Aibiki no Mori (rendezvous forest)"  (laughs)

?/× (TUE)

Well the indies tour has finally begun. In the morning I went to Tokyo station using a taxi and went to Nagoya on the shinkansen (bullet train). I was sort of happy when I was finally in the shinkansen. The live at Bottomline was to put it bluntly, unsatisfactory. Even among the lives that I've done up until now, honestly it was the worst. I was very annoyed, embarrassed, and regretful. Due to the lack of physical strength and extreme oxygen deprivation, I collapsed after the main set. After the encore, there was a heavy air backstage and everyone was looking down. Budoukan is 100 years too early and I looked down on myself. Even if I wrote more about it I would end up writing negative things. Nagoya...I am really sorry to the fans, maybe if you would come to a live just one more time, the next one I would definitely show a good live.

I promise, the next time...

?/×?WED)

In the morning, we checked out of the hotel and went to Kanezawa. I remembered the previous night's live and had an internal argument, "today for sure..." I personally wasn't satisfied with the Kanezawa live on the previous tour so this time I thought that I must make a good live. It was good that Az hall was pretty nice. But as expected I felt that my performance was a bit not enough but I thought of thinking positively. Everyone signed on Azhall's backstage hallway wall. Also I kicked the micstand and it's a bit unfortunatey that I wasn't able to directly apologize to the Azhall manager. I am really sorry! The oden that I had at the party was delicious. Good night...

?/×?FRI)

Today is at Kumagaya Vogue! This was the first time I was here since the disband live of band before Dir en grey was formed so I was really happy! If my memory is correct, the other band at that time was the band that 4 of them were in so it was a place with a lot of memories so I thought to do my best. The live was really good. Finally it felt like the engine started and my body was light. Also what shocked me also was I stage dived which I haven't done since the Cowboy World [live] in Osaka (laughs) To the people who were under and whose body I stepped on, I am really sorry!!

At any rate, those gibberish numbers on top! Enough already and disappear!

Well, after the live, without taking a break we got on the shinkansen and appeared live on nippon broadcast's radio, "Ultracountdown". Cool K-san was an interesting person.

?/×?MON)

Sendai Makana's stage was a bit small, so it was pretty difficult to play. But the live was okay but everyone's fervor was great, and it felt good. SuperRecord's Jimmy-san seems to be doing okay and thank you for coming to the live! After the live speaking of Sendai, it's "Gyu tan" (beef tongue) so we went out and ate it, as expected it was delicious! As a souvenir I bought cheese and fresh dorayaki. We will come to Sendai again (laughs)

?/×?TUE)

Today is my first time in Sapporo! This is the first live [in Sapporo] so I was really looking forward to the reaction of fans who've been waiting for us until then but the live was awful. "M-GAZET" also mentioned the reason. It would be better if I believed more in everyone...I am sorry! To the people who were looking forward to it. I am sorry, really. Sapporo, next time we will come at full blast so please look forward to it!!!

?/×?THU)

Niigata JUNKBOX...it was hot/exciting! Everybody went wild (for us). I was able to do a live without thinking of anything. Everybody's rhythm/flow was great and more importantly you made me forget about what happened in Sapporo. Thank you Niigata!! My friends from middle school and "D+L"'s AKIRA came to watch us. I was happy. After the party everybody went bowling. Everyone was excited and it was really fun. Thank you very much for today everyone!!

?/×?SAT)

Today is Osaka! Everybody was in high spirits. As expected everyone seems hyped since its their hometown. Speaking of hometowns, I also wanted to have lives in Nagano (tears) Well, anyway the live was okay but for me the performance was shabby. So I am sorry to everyone. But anyway I want to optimistically do my best...since if I get caught up in negative thoughts it would be difficult to get out of it. During the part Punch UFO came and it was interesting. Also, I was able to go drink out with my friends from high school after a long time and it was fun. Thank you Osaka!

?/×?MON)

The live at Hiroshima Namiki Junction was okay. Did everyone enjoy it? I would be happy if you enjoyed it. Also the Hiroshima yaki was very delicious. The promoter was also a very nice person. 2 more lives left I must do my best!!

?/×?TUE)

Hakata Be-1 was hot/exciting! The backstage was small but the live was pretty exciting. The atmosphere was also good. I didn't dive but it was live where I wanted to dive! After the live we did a quick party, and everyone went bowling (laughs) it was really fun. After that me and a couple of people went out and ate rate. We will come again to Hakata.

?/×?TUE)

Finally, we came to Matsuyama.

When I remember it was early. Before I realized it [we were there]. When I think of going home to Tokyo, I felt lonely. As for the live due to a miss with the song order we weren't able to get into high spirits but at the very very last it was nice that the fans who stayed during the encore were able to sing "GARDEN" with us. Well, the last live is Budokan!

Thank you Matsuyama!

?/×?MON)

Well, finally today is Budokan! In this place everything up until now will...I will not forget a day like today, I will never forget the fun on this day...and the regret (this is again getting old (laughs)) I can't say this well into words but since I think that there is nothing that doesn't change, at the very least I don't want my feelings and memories to not change. Forever. And more importantly to every who's been supporting us until now, thank you very much!! From now on let's fly higher and higher together.

?/×??)

From today we will go to LA because of recording. We will train under Yoshiki-san's guidance. Please look forward to and wait for the next song!! In addition, please read Mr. Inoue's page for the LA journal!

Toshiya first nude!!!

I also had this period (laughs)

So embarrassing~ (laughs)

Congratulations on your marraige Chara-san!

I hope you two will be happy (laughs)

Drop in sometimes! (The person on the right was the engineer of "I'll")

This time it ends here. Did you enjoy it? On January 20 the singles were finally released at the same time. To the who haven't listened to it, please listen to it! If possible please seriously listen to it with the volume on loud! Well, let's rendezvous again at the "Aibiki no Mori"!!!

Translator's Notes:

1. Gy?tan (???) is a Japanese food that is made from grilled beef tongue. The word gy?tan is a combination of the Japanese word for cow (?, gy??) and the English word tongue. Since gy?tan literally means "cow tongue," the word is also used to refer to cow tongues in Japan. The custom of cooking gy?tan originated in Sendai in 1948, and is usually served with barley rice, tail soup, and pickles in the Sendai area.

2. Dorayaki (????, ????, ????, ????) is a type of Japanese confection which consists of two small pancake-like patties made from castella wrapped around a filling of sweet red bean paste.

3. The numbers that Toshiya was referring to in the column was this line of random numbers that divided the column into the top and bottom sections. Please refer to the original.

Kyo's Corner (Announcement)

Among the postcards sent to Kyo’s Akuma ka Warumono ka, there was one that seemed to have lies written on it, as long as that kind of fan is there, this corner is spoiled/ruined and I am enraged.

I was so angry and shock that I opened a hole in the wall, and after that I never spoke anything about the fanclub

Because of that this corner is on a break.

What a nuisance

SEXUAL Inoue LA Diary

"a knot" told me that anything is fine so write anything about the LA recording so I am seated in front of a typewriter, well, I don't have a typewriter! Typewriters are old! So hello. This is the manager, Atsushi Inoue.

After Budokan finished and after the storm of <interviews, photoshoots>, before coming to LA, in order to concretize the sound as much as possible, everyone was confined to the studio. Then to LA ---- then again at Narita (international airport) there were a couple of fans...(mid-November was written on the flyer that was distributed at Budokan. Fail.Fail) but since everyone sent us off without causing any inconvenience we were relieved as we got on the plane...ah~(roughly 10 hours)~later we arrived in LA.

Then we had a meal together with the local coordinator and co. -- we had Lunch Time at a pretty clean looking pizza and pasta restaurant. As expected of America, the volume was incredible. The food and also the lady next to us...sorry...but the Beer was delicious.

Then we checked-in in the hotel, and was surprised when we got to our rooms. It was big big. It also had a kitchen. Yey (but at this time I didn't think that in the end I would sleep in the room and go home since I couldn't cook...sigh)

We placed our things, and everyone gathered together! We went to the studio ---and was surprised, it was big big. The studio and also the meeting room. After waiting for awhile, we had a pretty brief meeting with  Mr. YOSHIKI and the engineers, foreign staff etc. (about the equipment and flow etc), It seems that there will be a break once per week. Lucky (But...at this time I didn't think that the first week was a photoshoot, the second week was a break but from the third week there was no break...sigh) (Recording flow is everyone plays the music together, then Drums?Bass?Guitar?Guitar?Vocal - this seems to be the basic flow but there are times when the Guitar follows after Drums, and times when Vocals are added soon after just the rhythm is recorded. There are also times when they are working on the next song while the Vocalist is recording. So it seemed like it wasn't definite that it would follow this order. )

After the meeting finished the busy Mr. YOSHIKI wasn't able to come eat with us after but the members and me and the office people, recording company people and the coordinator went to get food -- Even in LA there are quite a lot of sushi restaurants where we had Dinner Time but as expected it lacked something/wasn't the greatest...but the beer was delicious. Thus the first day ended with this.

From now was the real part, the second day in LA, for the meantime all of the members worked on "Akuro no Oka". They took a recording of it playing together while choosing instruments and equipments. This took one whole day. LA third day based on what was recorded the previous day, recording started from drums. This took one whole day.

Fourth day bass recording while playing along with the drums of the previous day. This took one whole day. Fifth day guitar (Die) recording while playing along with the sounds recorded until the previous day. This took one whole day.

*By the way the members were at the studio and saying things like this and that and did individual practice while somebody else was recording.

The next day was a day off from the studio, and was a photoshoot day for Dir en grey. From early morning we were at cameraman Mr. William Hames' studio for make-up. Then downtown and on rooftops, under the bridge, railway tracks etc...there were also pretty dangerous areas, foreigners were looking at us oddly, and it was pretty unbelievable/awesome. The photoshoot finished at dusk. "My legs hurt." ???Shinya

Then we went to get food --- it was a pretty famous steak restaurant where he had DinnerTime. It was a restaurant with only courses, even if I was full before the meat came when it appeared it was big big!. I wasn't able to finish it but the Vocalist not only ate meat but also a big lobster. After finishing desert we went to the hotel -- "I ate everything that was in front of my eyes. The lobster was delicious." ???Kyo

Then recording day again, Kaoru the Guitarist's recording. The next day too.

One day during the first week, coming home from the studio at midnight everyone went shopping at a big supermarket (there was a big refrigerator, stove, oven, dishwasher etc. in the hotel) everyone bought a lot of different things. One person got large ice cream, then another person got large meat, then another person got large potato chips etc???"Ice cream is the best"???Shinya

The first week, it was Mr. Yoshiki's birthday so the members, staff and studio people all celebrated with champagne. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"???Dir en grey

This is the second week. All of the members began with pre-production for "Yurameki" a song that they haven't finished yet at the same time with the vocal recording of "Akuro no Oka"!?

Two people were down during the "Yurameki" pre-production First it was Kaoru who didn't speak much when we arrived in LA, when I placed a hand on his forehead, it was pretty hot. When I thought about it he was fast asleep and slept in the room on the 2nd day. By the way at this time, he didn't seem to have an appetite so the coordinator and I went to a Japanese store and bought medicine, rice, instant curry, instant congee, miso soup etc.., I brought it to his room and Kaoru-kun in his room seemed pretty lonely. "Kukure Curry was the best"???Kaoru

Then the next day after he got better and went back to work, Toshiya was down. He also slept in his room for two days. This time too I went to the Japanese store.

Getting harmony was this difficult! There is a considerable amount of vocal harmony (voice singing in chorus) included in "Akuro no Oka" "Yurameki" but the equipment that we used at that time was awesome because there was only two in the world, it was too great! It was that kind of equipment but it was troublesome because when the Vo would sing a little bit it would stop and then everything would become confusing, and caused the Vo to get in a bad mood. "I the Hakaider will hakai you (I the destroyer will destroy you)"???Kyo

Design check on the internet is di?ffi?cult There are various different design related things such as the jacket design, card, poster etc, the members would think about it together, and faxing the rough draft design was difficult, so in order to properly see the color and form it has to be through the internet. This was also troublesome since this was three singles the size was too big and it easily won't come. Printouts also took time and we had to redo it several times so it pretty much took a lot of time. "It's finally here~it finally came~"???Toshiya The sole holiday In LA there was only one day break, and it was the most important holiday in America, "Thanksgiving". The studio was on a break. And believe it or not Universal Studios where we wanted to go was also on a break???it seems that on this day the whole of America is on holiday and everyone is at home???boohoohoo???then again since Yoshiki invited us to eat turkey at his house on the previous day, everyone was treated to good food. It was really delicious. "Only 15 more minutes???only one more???Let's finish it with this"???Die

Shopping GO!GO!GO! The members didn't really have much of a chance to go out so when they found some time they would go out to shop. (Not all 5 members???) I think they shopped a lot at Tower Records? On the day of mastering (the day before they go back to Japan) even for a short time went and shopped at the stores in front of the Universal Studios entrance and a big department store, Melrose Avenue but everyone bought only CDs. (Well there was a person who bought clothes and accessories) "I bought a ring but it was also sold in Marui"???Kaoru

The local staff and engineer and studio staff were as expected all foreigners so I thought that I should work harder on English but the recording engineer Mr. STAN KATAYAMA was Japanese and was pretty laid back but he was fan and the members seemed to have had an easy time recording. But the instrument technician and other staff everyone were foreigners. We sort of had a hard time with the finer details. "I will study English."???Die

Local coordinator? Mr. GEORGE The whole time during the LA recording Mr. GEORGE (ex. LADIES ROOM) was in the studio and taught us different things. (English, music, billiards, muscle, games, grit/determination, that thing, this thing, and until that thing???) he really helped us. He brought us along shopping and even called us because he bought a Xmas tree in his room (together with Guitar, Guitar, Bass) At that time he showed us the last scene of Armaggedon, at any rate thank you very much. "Aah, how are you president?"???Toshiya

Best Producer There was a lot of surprising and interesting things about Yoshiki. I think that we are still indebted to him, we will be counting on him even from now on.

"Thank you very much. We will be counting on you." (in harmony)???Dir en grey

Translator's Notes:Kyo was referring to "Hakaider" who was a character featured in the movie

Mechanical Violator Hakaider (????????? Jinz? Ningen Hakaid?)

NEWS L.A. Edition

Kyo…having a hard time!!! We have new information about Kyo. A tragedy has occurred. After spilling oil and making his kitchen sticky, he recklessly threw his garbage and the oil further spilled all over his kitchen. We still don’t know whatever happened to him.

Birthday Guessing 12 Choice Game Big Break

It seems that a birthday guessing game seems to be popular around the members.

Example

1 March 2 September 3 June

.

.

.

12 *…

A deer appeared in the hotel!

Shinya walking alone angry!?

?/?, Shinya who was annoyed at Manager Sexual Inoue over a trivial matter went home alone until the hotel. Because of that the manager further got mad at him. As if to add insult to injury…

Exclusive Scoop Toshiya! Incident in Italy

An incident happened to Toshiya who went to an Italian church for a certain PV shooting in 1998 (or caused an incident). That church does not allow people to bare their legs, (because it is against God), and Toshiya who was completely unaware of that appeared in the church with his bare legs with abandon. There area was in uproar. In the end Toshiya spent his waiting time with his legs wrapped in a cloth.

Kaoru, W face to face meeting!

Sources say that Kaoru was thrilled by the W face to face meeting. The first one was a face to face meeting with Asuka from “Evangelion”. It seems that Bay FM planned it in secret and called her to appear in the show. Regarding this incident, Kaoru commented “Oh my~, I was surprised”. The other one was a face-to-face meeting with Shiina Ringo at Music Station (a music show). If you even look at Kaoru’s corner you’d know that he is pretty into her and expressed his joy on their first meeting.

Die, mysterious behavior!?

An uncanny incident occurred since “aknot” started. Die drank alcohol and was drunk, mistaking it for his shoes, he tried wearing a bag on one foot and a magazine on the other foot. After getting some more information, he was grunting and thought that those were shoes and struggled with it to a considerable degree.

[hidemefromhere]

It was short, but it was the best

Ang dami kong thoughts. Ang daming memories na sayang, memories nalang. Ano ba to. Ayoko na.

Remember the day you said I was gorgeous on one of my myday pictures? I think that started everything. I was swept off by the word you used, instead of the usual cute or pretty, or even beautiful. There was something back then that made me kilig, that made me notice you. Yes, there were times before that time that I thought (super feelingera ko!) you had a crush on me. Well somehow, I think it’s real but sometimes I think you just say my name sa “Sinong crush mo sa MC?” because wala lang. Nagfifeeling ako at the same time I didn’t take it seriously. Another thing, you never failed to greet me during Christmas and New Year. And I thought that was special until I learned you did the same with Zelica. So nawala na pagfifeeling ko. But then we became close, and closer, you started chatting me randomly,and I craved for it. Until the day that I told you na bakit lagi ka nageend ng convo, na ayaw mo ba ko kausap. And you explained yourself. And I was amazed by how mysterious and different you are. You were unknowlingly beautiful. It came to a point na inaabangan ko talaga na magchat ka. And since then we became regular chatmates, pero nagtataka ko kasi di mo kinukuha number ko HAHA. We talked about random stuff, you made me realize a lot of things, you made me forget the past and stay with you in the present. Not long after, you’ve told me you liked me. And grabe nakakahaba ng hair yung efforts mo. Na dumadaan ka sa mga inom or study sesh ko just to see me for a few minutes or even seconds! Sinong hindi maiinlove doon? But I told you to stop, that I wont be good for you, that it would be unfair. You almost did but I talked to you again and you continued. You told me hindi mko papalapampasin. After a month or so, I liked you back. We started calling each other Babe, we say love you’s to I love you’s. And we were like couples. You visited our house, met my family and we did a lot, a lot of things. Dumating yung araw na naging tayo na. We had so many fights. We had so many break ups but we always always get back together. Na sabi mo pucha magaaway lang tayo pero hindi tayo maghihiwalay. I have my imperfections, failures, pagkukulang and you have yours, and yet stayed together. You shared a lot of stories and things you never told anyone. And I did too. I’ve known myself more because of what we have, of what we shared and because of you. We fucking had super fights, we broke up, cleared nicknames for hundred times, said a lot hurtful words to each other but we always go back to each other. Love always make its way. We always CHOOSE to stay. Cause it was always more difficult to be away and not together. Until the day I’ve hurt you.

Remember the first movie we’ve watched? I don’t even remember it’s title but I enjoyed it because we were laughing, you were holding my hand nervously, without realizing that you are making my heart smile dahil sa kacute-an mo.

Remember the first time we held hands? We were in a UV Express to Cubao. We met each other secretly sa tambayan but Pam and Ahren found us so we ate with them. After that, we made ways para masolo isa’t isa. And I enjoy every conversation we had. Remember na muntik pa tayo makita ni Ej non?

Remember yung auxi diag run na super tago pa tayo? Pero ayoko ilet go ka so sumama ka samin si Zel and Jen sa KFC then after nagSM San Mateo tayo. Tas first time mo kumain ng Dilibar ng DQ. Sobrang ayaw pa natin maghiwalay. Nasa side ka ng 7 11, ako nasa side ng sakayan ng pedicab sa may labas ng village namin.

Remember the day na naglakad tayo sa village, na halos nadaanan na natin lahat ng street tapos ikot ulit, remember how afraid we were to tell our dark past and secrets. Remember how we walk hand in hand, how your hand fits perfectly in mine.

Remember how no matter how late and gano kalayo house namin, you would insist on taking me home. Lalo na paglasing or nakainom ako. How you fight every pagod para lang mapagbigyan ako.

Remember how we watched Bliss and we were laughing sa amoy tae na amoy paa na we cannot identify san nanggaling until we moved to different row away from the girl who removed her shoes haha. How that movie was nice and how I hold onto you.

Remember how our first kiss went? How it felt good to feel your wet and soft lips against mine? You taste so sweet and until now, your lips is my favorite.

Remember when we used to play at our house while I am being a yaya? We play Mario and a lot of games sa family comp na lagi naman akong talo.

Remember when we used to tambay sa Infinitea para lang may privacy tayo and we talk about super random stuff, kasama ng mga kwento mo with matching action figures using tissue and plastic ng straw. Hahaha. Remember how you try to study while guguluhin kita and will cling to you.

Remember the few times I accompanied you to study? I dont even understand what you were writing, I just love looking at you. Remember all the bond papers I wrote something on? Have u used them?

Remember all the times you accompanied me sa paglalaba? How we enjoyed every time kasi magkasama naman tayo. And we talk endlessly.

Remember the first time? I was g na g and said na nothing will happen but ended up wanting it and you went out to get and buy what we need. And how you took care of me and made sure that I would enjoy and feel the least pain.

Remember all the failed interviews I had with works I am applying to and you being there. Sasamahan mo pa ko to places na we are both not familiar? And we walk along BGC, not knowing where to go but clearly knowing what we want *wink. You made me crave for it.

Remember how I would go to UST and wait for your class, you lending me your laptop so I would not be bored. And remember our date to MOA? How sad you were because walang skating but we were able to enjoy the day nonetheless.

Remember the breakfasts and milk and bread I prepare for you and how I promise to make more for you. Please let me keep those promises.

Remember how we celebrated your birthday and all the gifts and letters? And how you made me want to eat everything at Tongyang? Please let me treat you at TongYang as well.

Remember how I cooked your food for our auxi climb baon and how we spent preparing for our things together?

Remember the time we had massage? It was your first time, but remember how I’m the best masahista? Wink. And you are my best masahista as well.

Remeber the two times we drove around? Once was with your car and once in our? You were such an amazing driver!!!! Super sexy and smooth and cute. Driving eksi is my favorite.

Remember the time we sat sa may manila bay side ng Moa. How we were laughing at couples and some silly things. How happy we were without doing anything but sitting, watching the bay and ipis and just being with each other.

Remember all the beaches, the mountains, the places we both visited? I refuse to accept na hindi na yun madadagdayan.

Ang dami dami pa. And I miss everything. And I promise na babawi ako. Na if you would let me, I would make everything fine for you, I will give you everything and treat you the way you treated me. I am not the best girlfriend. But I promise to be better for you. I dont wanna be better for anyone. Ikaw nagayos, at magaayos sakin nang patuloy kaya ikaw lang yung may deserve nung better na ako. Please. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I am sorry I hurt you. But please give me a chance. Let’s fix our habambuhay. 😔