#please excuse the ugly post I'm on my phone lol

[ncquams]

// morning guys! go ahead and hit the like button if you are up to plotting via mobile!

[eruhatesu]

CALL ME

Erwin Smith x fem reader (modern au - oneshot)

content warning: nsfw, masturbation, teasing (if you squint)

word count: 1.2k

AN: this is my first time writing. Not much action bc I'm still testing waters but we'll see hahaha. One shot. But if I get possessed again, I might make this a two shot. Banner drawn by me (click for crispier quality lol). Send me an ask for nsfw art reqs.

A week break. After a full year not seeing your family, you finally had a chance to go home to your hometown for 5 days. It’s the first time you’ll be away from your boyfriend Erwin Smith, a post-grad student studying further on History and Literature. You met him on a coffee shop you both get your daily morning coffee needs. He approached you first after 3 weeks of him seeing you almost everyday buying coffee nonchalantly, you stood out in the small crowd, unconsciously drawing him in on how you just didn’t care about everything else in the world.

One of the days you both had a non-toxic morning, he introduced himself with confidence thinking you might let him in your little non-eventful world. Of course you did. This man has caught your attention long before you caught his, you just didn’t bother giving much thought on any possibility because it felt really impossible to you having him for yourself. But since your first conversation with him, you knew he was the kind of person that does not require constant assurance to be in a relationship with. It’ll be fine, you thought to yourself. You don’t need much maintenance as well since you focus on getting your degree too.

It’s the third day on your trip home and a full day has passed without having any message from Erwin. You were sitting at a family dinner at home and you just took your last bite as you sip a bit of wine that pairs well with the meal you just had. You were having a good time listening to stories and light laughter your family was having but your mind suddenly trails off on reasons why you received not a single text from him. Knowing how busy he was on his papers, you thought to yourself you should be more mature and considerate. He might be a few years your senior but you both had been in good terms for months in your relationship just by having little updates about each other whenever you’re not together since for you and Erwin, physical touches and personal conversations weigh more than anything. So why are you feeling uneasy and very eager to know what he’s doing? You know he won’t text you constantly either if you’re just around the campus or miles away. You actually questioned yourself why were you longing if you completely know how distant as a person he is from the start.

Checking the clock it was 9:32. You stared at the black of your phone as it rests on your lap hidden from everyone, hoping it will light up since you figured he might be finally back on his apartment after a long day with his team. Few more sips and your phone buzzed:

9:41 Erwin.

You busy?

Finally you let out a silent sigh on your chest. You noted the lack of punctuation and a sentence not properly formed. He never did shortcuts even in an emergency.

You paused for a second not knowing what to reply since you’re actually in the middle of something. Before you can grip your phone to reply it lit up again.

9:42 Erwin.

I’ll call.

You reminded yourself, this is not like him. He does not call at all unless it’s very important. For the past days, all you guys did was texted one another and for you, it really was enough. Not a second after, your phone buzzed silently.

Calling: Erwin.

You panicked and stared for a second but considering the way he texted, you slide to answer the call right away. Hiding your phone on your side, you excused your self from the table

“Excuse me, my professor’s calling.” You thought to yourself what an ugly lie. Why would a professor call at night during a break.

You walked fast to the bathroom and calmly locked the door behind you.

“Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I just want to talk.”

“Huh- that’s new.”

You sensed with his tone, he had a lot of stress today. Maybe they had a few bad news with their paper.

“I meant, I just want you to talk.”

You noticed he’s talking roughly. Like he was running while on the call.

“What do you mean?”

No actual response. You just hear him breathing loudly. Panting. You got worried.

“Erwin, what the fuck’s going on?”

He still continues to pant.

“Erwin?”

He moans sharply.

It now struck your brain what he was really doing.

“That’s right, babe keep calling me.”

Relieving himself was actually the last thing you thought he’d be doing once you’re away since you knew this man for almost a year now and you know very well how he can control himself on all matters.

You audibly scoffed on your realization. Smile drew to your face and you can’t believe that his heat reaches your cheeks through the thought that someone like you can do this to a man like him.

“Erwin, don’t tell me you’re actually doing what I think you’re doing.”

He grunted without actually understanding what you’re saying.

“Hm- just keep talking. You’re doing good.” Words were rolling as he continues to pant and moan as you stayed on the other line silently grinning to yourself thinking of what he looks like on his couch helpless without you doing what he’s doing for him. You hear him breathe roughly as he fucks his hand with the thought of you. You felt powerful considering how this man who towers next to you when you’re together, literally calling for you just to feel like you’re there with him.

You leaned back to the sink as you listen. You were feeling heat on your stomach as well wishing you were the one making him have these heavenly sounds you’re hearing.

“Y/N…”

“Yes, babe?”

“Please…”

“Fine. I just thought you’re doing fine yourself back there”

“Y/N fuck I miss you. Keep talking”

You chuckled in response.

“I didn’t know you’ll miss me this much. I’ll be back soon.”

You closed your eyes trying to focus on how you’re picturing him again on his couch, probably still in his shirt, few top buttons unbuttoned paired with slacks, sitting lazily, head thrown back as he listens to you. Just as you were starting to reach below to relieve the heat that you were starting to feel for yourself, he grunted sharply for the last time then the call dropped from the other line.

You stared at your phone as it goes back to your homescreen. “What the-“ you whispered to your self. Stopping yourself from crushing your phone with your tightening knuckles, you breathed out and propped yourself up to fix your dress. You noticed your eyebrows still slightly woven from the fact that you were almost there with him as you fix a strand of hair in front of the mirror.

As you go out of the bathroom clicking the door close slowly, your phone buzzed again.

Calling: Erwin.

You swiped to answer. Puzzled, you thought he was done with his business with you for the night.

“I’ll come pick you up.” He said without asking if you’ll agree.

You just breathed out as a response. You were thinking if you should cut your break short but you both wouldn’t want that.

“Stay with me for a while?” It sounded more like an order than a question.

“Erwin, this is 3 hours away.”

“I’ll be there in 2.”

The call dropped again. Headlights did appear in your street in two.

[vangoddamn]

Resolutions are bad

y/n makes a new years resolution, van makes it hard for her to keep.

Warnings: None, but I cried writing this lol

The new years you made the resolution to stay away from him you were too drunk to realise how impossible that was. You were also too drunk to realise that even if you could stay away from him, he couldn’t do the same for you. To be honest his friends warned you, made sure you knew Van wanted something serious. The thing was no one warned Van that you couldn’t cope with the distance.

But there you were three months into the new year with a bottle of wine trying to figure out how you’d avoid him when he came back from tour next week. See it’s all well and good ignoring someone's calls because they’re halfway around the world. But, when they come back you really can’t hide and well it’s not like you’ll want to. 

Van makes you a different person, before you met him the idea of throwing your life away for someone else would make you spit in their face. But with him, well the more you spent time with him and even more away, the more it made you want to quit your job and follow him wherever.

He never understood why you broke up with him, really you didn’t. Of course, you could pretend it was about your shitty job that meant you could keep living in your shitty apartment. When really the reason you did it was because you were scared, scared of waiting for him to realise he was too good for you, scared of the day he'd come home and forget you existed and just wouldn’t call. Bored of waiting for him to realise you weren’t good enough for him and he leave.

It wasn’t even an excuse and the more you thought of it the more it broke your heart. You knew he’d never even thought of that, he never thought about the bad stuff. So when he came back you let him knock on the door and you let him leave a thousand voice mails. 

Every night after he came back from the tour a dozen answer phone messages were left on your phone. And every night you’d slide down the wall of your flat with a tub of ice cream and cry. 

----

The day had dragged on more than usual, too much paperwork and too much rain. By the time you had dragged yourself home bidding farewell to your co-worker at the bus stop, accepting your feit of no umbrella, you trudged home. The bus didn’t go to your part of town, the dodgy end. And well even if it did you doubt you’d be able to afford it.

The rain lashing down soaked into your jacket, the white shirt underneath sticking to your cold skin. You could definitely feel the goosebumps on your arms, a warning that if you didn’t get back home soon you’d freeze to death. In a bid to get there quicker you picked up the pace, instantly regretting it when you ran into a puddle, water splashing up your legs. Running seemed almost impossible now, your tights rubbing feverishly against your skin and boots.

You felt like an emotional wreck, feeling tears run down your face. It was at this point you forgot about what you had done and the resolutions you’d made, all you wanted was Van. You just wanted him to give you one of those warm hugs and tell you it’s going to be alright. He was always good at that. 

So when you got back to your flat and ran up the stairs, the elevator had been broken a while, you didn’t even second guess the fact the door was unlocked. You just stumbled in, shutting the door and sliding down it, tears falling down your cheek in the most unattractive way. Panting to try and calm yourself down, only making it worse. You cursed anything pure in the world trying to get your shoes off, prying the leather boots from your cold sticky legs.

“Fuck, I just want Van!” You huffed thinking out loud, giving in and leaving your boots half unzipped. You rested your head against the door, closing your eyes, trying to stop any more tears from erupting.

That was before you felt a warmth cloud you, a warm and cosy hug lifting you up and a soft kiss to your forehead. You felt a small tear roll down your cheek when you could smell that familiar scent. A calming breath out when you felt those calloused fingers brush it away almost as soon as it appeared.

“Van?” You whispered, scared that it wasn’t and you’d been dreaming his presence in your overworked head. But even the most tired of emotions couldn’t dream up the true reality of this. He was truly there, placing you down on your warm bedsheets.

You opened your eyes slowly to reveal, Van slowly easing your leather boots off your feet. You were happy to see his face, having not seen it in too long. But your happiness soon faded once you noticed his purple bags under his eyes and the messiness of his hair. The type of messy due to him combing his hands through with stress. He looked skinnier than usual and it made you feel empty inside. Not empty, full of regret and deep down guilt. 

Because you’d always been the one to remind him to put the guitar down and eat. You’d always been the one to talk him to sleep or kiss his back until you heard his breathing regulate. You felt guilty when you knew the job of looking after his poor soul would’ve been handed over to the lads. And although you loved them and knew they’d try their hardest, Van was tricky. But he was your tricky and seeing him almost as broken as you hurt.

You were allowed to hurt, but not him.

He was able to pry your shoes off, leaving him to carefully roll your tights down, revealing the blisters you had made. “y/n, these look sore” He sighed, a worried tone to his voice, matching his face. 

All you could do was let out another sob, apologizing between breaths. He turned even more worried moving towards you, crouching over your body, his hands cupping your face. 

“I’m so sorry Van, I thought I could cope without you... I thought if I let you go and be with someone you deserve I’d be fine. But I’m not” You tried to get it all out, the words barely audible over you ugly sobs and harsh breaths.

“What, no, love calm down please” He begged kissing your forehead, making you realise how much you missed those lips. “Come ‘ere” He whispered moving off you and pulling you into his lap.

You lay in his arms for a while, your head resting on his chest whilst he massaged your scalp, stroking down loose bits of hair. Your eyes fluttered shut and your arms were tightly wrapped around his waist.

“Love, is that why you did it?” He sounded wounded and as if he’d cry. You knew he wouldn’t but there were tears in his eyes. You knew what he was referring to, the words you blurted out. You couldn’t answer with words, opting to just nod your head.

“y/n why would you think that? All I’ve ever wanted and will ever want is you. I can’t imagine being with anyone else, I just couldn’t” His words were soft, trying not to sound too panicked.

“Van” You tried but couldn’t come up with anything worth saying. He moved under you, sitting up straighter, slowly peeling off the wet clothes that clung to your body. Soon enough you were just in your underwear and the hoodie Van had on before he placed it over your head. He went to your dresser, remembering where everything was like nothing had happened getting out some of your fluffiest socks.

“How come you're here?” You asked whilst he pulled the covers over your tired frame.

“I came over to try and talk, but when it got late and started raining I got worried and used the spare key, I hope that’s ok. I know it’s a little intrusive” He explained before you cut in.

“No Van I needed you.” You admitted looking up to him with sad eyes, worried he might leave. 

“Your the strongest person I know, you don’t need anyone”

“That’s not true” You whined like a child getting out of bed, walking over to where he stood in the doorway. “Please don’t go” You had him right in front of you and even if he tried you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go again.

“y/n, your tired love” You could tell what he was doing and you didn’t blame him. He thought that if he stayed he’d get too comfortable and in the morning you’d push him away. But now you’d seen him, felt him, you wanted nothing more than for him to just get comfortable again.

“I’m tired because I can’t sleep without you. It’s worse than when I thought you might leave me cause now your already gone, and it’s my fault. I can’t breath when I think about it Van, I need you” You rambled on trying to make him stay but he’d already wrapped himself around you when another tear surfaced. 

“You don’t know how much I missed you” he mumbled into your hair, leading you back to bed where this time he joined you in his usual spot. 

This time around you knew you had to tell him how you felt. Yes it killed you to think about how much better he could do but it killed you, even more, to be without him.

"I hate resolutions" You mumbled into him.

“Me too” He whispered back, letting you fall asleep in his arms tear-stained cheeks but happy you had him back. You knew it would be hard to explain everything properly in the morning but the lack of energy mixed with Vans presence lead you to sleep quickly. At least he was home.

A/n: I might just be overly emotional but yes, I did cry writing this and I have no regrets! Lol hope you loves are all doing well, I've been busy writing recently so i'm thinking my posting days for the future will be every sat/Sunday and maybe the extra little midweek treat depending on how much time I have, hope you had a nice week! xx em

[todokori-kun]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I’m ugly crying on the inside right now. I’m really so glad you liked the art, seriously this means a lot to me TYSM <3

I like how Hisoka turned out too :D I have a hard time looking at him though because WOW that’s way too much trash for once piece of paper

Be glad that I sent you the sassy Saiko, because I also drew a crying Saiko calling for Maman. I decided not to be a troll for once though ^^

I couldn’t do justice to OG Musical Maria though. She’s gorgeous…

That picture of Roy will be my legacy.

(as for the tiny dab, that is also Saiko in case the pic was too small for you to tell XD funny thing is that I wasn’t even intending to have that slip in when I took the picture. I drew a tiny, mouth-and-nose-less ‘I am not impressed’ Urie face next to it too but guess that didn’t make it in haha LOL

I'm actually sorta obsessed with drawing tiny, dabbing figures right now because I just discovered an easy way to draw dabs and…well. It’s fun?)

AWW tysm! Tbh though I get the struggle. I hated all paints for the longest time because I also had no idea how to use brushes and control the amount of water I used and ended up with shapeless blobs or super runny pics (also I’ve never actually learned how to paint or draw…a couple of short lessons when I was really little, a month(?) of lessons around last year or the year before, that’s pretty much it. So idk how to do things really lol). But I sorta-recently got obsessed with watercolor paintings (SO PRETTY) and that’s why I started ‘practicing’ (AKA watching/reading a bunch of tutorials and trying my best to remember the few things I actually learned XD). I still can’t draw stuff just with watercolors though, I need to do a light pencil sketch and then color with paint.

OK that sounds so cool but problem: My phone is a super old flip phone that I’ve had since I was eight(?), so mobile games are a no XD and my parents probably wouldn’t buy me anything that costs money (they let me play simple free RP games and dating games on the internet since those are usually fairly innocent (I mean, it’s plot/character-based stuff, almost like a manga) but not anything too 'big’ you know? If I was old enough to buy games like that with my own money I don’t think they’d care tho, as long as I didn’t get obsessed with games or anything.)

Also just realized that I’m stupid and apparently forgot that I don’t have Steam. I was going to install it but can I ask you exactly what it is/how it works, first? I’m just kinda worried about randomly installing this since I don’t quite get it yet ^^;; (sorry I can be really, really stupid when it comes to stuff like this)

THAT’S SO CUTE. Let me recommend you a game too- a free RPG/Dating game called Ascension by ImpQueen! No download, you just go to ImpQueen and play it. There are three(?) chapters. The first chapter might not be that interesting compared to other games, but the game and the story keep getting more complex as you go on :D you also get new dateable characters every chapter and the MC, Aida, is AWESOME. Also, in chapter two and three you can actually customize the main cast’s appearances, like you’d do in a dress-up game! Another cool thing is that you get different 'personality points' depending on the things you say/do, and the amount of points you have for a certain personality can change the outcomes of certain situations.

It’s also really fun because other than the romance, the plot and Aida’s journey is super interesting too.

Do you know I’ve been reading some Ishida tweets lately and look at this (yes these are all real)

Fan: Excuse me, is it ok if I ask what major you chose at university?

Ishida: I have studied worthless knowledge in University.

Fan: Please take good care of yourself and eat well! (I think that’s what they said? It was in Japanese so)

Ishida: I ate some tomatoes!

Fan: How do you draw Arima, sensei? It’s so hard to draw him ;-;

Ishida: Sadistic & Massive. I keep that in my mind.

Fan: I love you please marry me

Ishida: Sure! When is convenient for you?

Fan: Be sure to rest when you need to, sensei…

Ishida: I don’t wanna rest

Fan: HOW DID AMON’S EYEBROWS GET LIKE THAT PLEASE I MUST KNOW SENSEI

Ishida: It’s natural, you know.

Fan with a picture of a cartoon skeleton for their profile pic: Will we ever learn what happened to Hide, sensei? Also, thank you for the sequel :) I love TG

Ishida: Well, I’m not sure…by the way, you are so skinny. Thank you!

Also, dude reads Shoujo manga. He tortures us with Touken, Kanae, Tsukiyama/Kaneki, Saiko/Urie…and then he goes and posts fanart he drew of a Shoujo manga he was reading and says that he’s sad it’s over omg

0////0

…

I’d probably never want to leave that flask HOW COULD A TINY INSIGNIFICANT HUMAN DEFEAT ME SO EASILY NOOO

*sigh* I didn’t raise you to be like this…

(I just got the funniest/weirdest idea though: So Evans is like Luna’s mom in this relationship, Riza is Roy’s mom. Imagine what would happen when Roy/Luna got to the 'meeting the parents’ stage in their relationship)

Mei’s version of subtle-

Mei: Mr. Scar, Evans thinks you have pretty eyes.

Scar: 

Scar: What

(basically catastrophe. And I would never have actually said that…Luna probably told Mei to say that I said something nice about him and that’s what the kid came up with OTL)

Well, he became a criminal in Civil War so not a big surprise really ;-;

For a second I thought that pic was you

Wow, that’s great! Bet it looks amazing on the queen <3333

Funny thing is I thought I liked physical contact (like cuddling, hugging, hand-holding) but turns out that’s not the case XD I get super awkward when anyone who’s not my mom, dad, or my little sister/younger cousin touches me. Tbh the only person I feel comfortable with cuddling anytime, anywhere is my little sister because she’s still smol LOL

It’s definitely weird when people who aren’t that close with you try to hug you though. The only thing that can make it worse is if they gush about what a good, sweet child you are while doing it XD

(btw, I sent you a message about the TG Re Volume 12 omake; did it get eaten?)

((EDIT AFTER NEW CHAP OF TG: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUU NO URIE NO N O)) Feel free to send more art anytime! I’ll always be glad to see it ^^

Is he really that bad? I mean, I’ve seen some memes, but didn’t think he was that trashy XD

Oh wow, thank you for that :P Who knows, maybe I would’ve broken my computer screen, because end the suffering already.

Dabbing Saiko, best Saiko. I assumed it was her because of the hair, but wasn’t 100% sure. Isn’t that Urie’s default face, tho. I mean, when is that man impressed? He does show emotion when he’s  trying to comfort someone, but that doesn’t happen very often.  *stares at that paragraph* *dabs aggressively* 

Ah, that’s what makes it even more impressive! I mean, we had art in elementary school, but it was mostly the ‘learn stuff yourself’ kind of art. Needles to say, I didn’t learn a lot. But watercolours really are a nice way of painting, since they can have really vibrant colours, yet be serene at the same time. Most people I know who draw, watercolour or not, use sketches and references, so I don’t see anything wrong with that ^^ Just take your time to learn what you want ^^

Oh, I see! So, free, computer games for you… Well, right now, CP is the only one I can think of, but I’ll discover more in the future and share them with you when I do ^^ The only paid games I play are on my phone, since I’m too shy to ask my parents to but me otome games… I have 0 problems playing them on my own, but not a lot of people know that I play them. 

Right, steam.  It’s a gaming platform. Technically, it’s an app for the computer on which you can download games that are available in the steam store. Some are free, some are paid. 

This is how the page looks. The little green button in the upper left corner is to download the app itself, and you’ll also need to create an account.  You’ll need to give an email, but it’s only for account verification and to send you bills if you decide to buy anything. However, if you don’t buy anything, the email will mostly be useless after the verification. I mean, I don’t remember getting a spam email from them at all.  After that, just go to the search bar, type Cinderella Phenomenon. And press play the game! It should automatically download the game to the steam app and you’re good to play ^^  No worries about asking questions! It’s actually admirable how you’re so careful around the internet ^^

Oh, I’ve actually played that before! I could never finish chapter 3, though… For some reason, it keeps glitching at one scene making me unable to continue further =3= It was quite fun to play! I just don’t remember most of it anymore, since it’s been a while since i’ve played ^^;;;

Ishida summarised my high school experience so far in a single tweet, only it’s about University XD

Wow. That’s so mean of him XD Seriously Ishida, why you gotta torture us so much??? (I just noticed my computer stopped auto-correcting Ishida, I think it finally learned I wanted to type it) 

Muhahahahaha I’ve contained the legendary dwarf!!! Now she won’t be able to convince a whole nation to commit collective suicide because their leader is a naive idiot!!

The two of you just talk about how randomly childish the two of us can get at times XD I think you’d get along pretty well with Riza, though. I mean, she’s a nice person, who knows what it’s like to be scared, so she’d be fine with taking lead of the conversation. 

Scar isn’t sure if it’s Mei’s idea of a prank or not, but he’d be slightly disappointed if it was cause he kindawantedEvanstothinkhiseyesarenice but nope he’s in denial.

From that day on, Luna learns that if she wants to get the two awkward dorks together, she’ll have to take things into her own hands. Probably goes something like this:

Luna: Evans, are you free at 5pm this Friday? Evans: Yeah, why? Luna: Scar, are you free at 5pm this Friday? Scar: Aha Luna: Great, because I’m not! Have fun you two!

My sweet sunshine child cap T^T

Aah, no, my hair i shorter than that ^^;;; Also, I look younger than I am OTL

I think it’s more of the ‘I like physical contact if I know the person and am close enough to them’ thingy. I mean, I have a few acquaintances who love hugs and I always shrink away from them, but with close friends, U’m sometimes the one who starts hugs. But you might also dislike contact in general, which is also fine, everyone has their own preferences ^^

I did, but I only noticed after I answered your message OTL Well, that’s certainly an interesting ship… Now I slightly ship it… 

[ncquams]

( // guys I have the worst cold send help

[ncquams]

( // it's 2 am and I can't sleep...I'm gonna attempt to do drafts via mobile, wish me luck (also hit me up on im if you wanna plot)