#phil's annual cake face is iconic

[dannymcdanface]

Of the rando predictions I made, 5 feels the most likely... don't let us down Dan!

[dangoghz]

Write a fic about dan and phil and the babadook

oh god i knew this would happen —-A Ball-Badook by dangoghsWord count: 1850 (i hav no lif)A/N: WH Y,, also dan and phil basically go to a gay ball with the Babadook as their chauffeur/host. Also I have never seen the movie and I dont know whether he actually talks and if he does he probably doesnt have a Russian accent but uh oh well—-When it happened, it was 11:59 pm and Dan and Phil were having cuddles on the couch while watching a Lord of the Rings movie. Phil had his arm around Dan and they were very cozy, with a mound of blankets surrounding them and the faint voice of Gollum yapping about the ring. Phil was leaning in for a quick kiss when the clock struck twelve, and then…something magical happened. The TV turned to static. The windows opened on their own. Their blankets ruffled and the furniture shook.And then they watched as an odd black creature with a top hat flew in. No, not flew in. There was a rainbow going through their window, which it appeared to be walking on as if it was solid. How a rainbow was visible in the middle of the night, neither of the boys knew. The creature stepped off of the rainbow and onto the soft living room carpet. Dan and Phil were shaking more than the furniture was now. What was this thing? How did it get in here?The black creature had a pair of terrifying, round eyes, and a mouth of small teeth that was permanently open. Its hands were spindly and as black as the night sky. “Hyello, children. I am the Babadook.”The Babadook, the Babadook! What a horrific name. Dan quivered in fear and squeezed closer to Phil. “Why are you here?” Phil questioned, always calm, always collected. He was scared, but he wasn’t about to show it.“Do not wurry, my chiyuld. I am here only to delyiver you to my yearly ball.”“What ball?” Phil replied. Dan was clinging to his boyfriend and staring at the Babadook like it was an alien. Which it very well could’ve been, to be honest.“Vell, my yearly Ball-badook, of course! Come, children. Stand up,” the Babadook ordered, waving with its spidery hands. Dan and Phil were in too much shock to disobey it, and they reluctantly disentangled and got up from the soft couch, still holding each other in latched fingers. Suddenly, after the Babadook twitched its hands again, the air became a rainbow prism swirling around the boys. Red and yellow and blue swarmed in all directions, with beautiful sparkles in every corner of the living room.“Danyul, vut is yoor favoreet color?” the Babadook asked.“Uh-uh-black?”“You are lying. I can tell. It is obviously peenk, baby peenk. Color of squooshy baby bottom.”“WHAT? N-no-”“Dan? Is he right? I thought you hated pink,” Phil chimed in. “I-uh-”“Does not matter. Please stand very straight, Daniel, or else this will not vurk.”Dan quickly straightened his back in fear. The Babadook swished its finger and sparks flew deafeningly towards Dan’s torso. Phil’s boyfriend shouted over the roar of the magic, “WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?” Phil couldn’t see his boyfriend anymore as he was completely enveloped in swirling glitter. ��AHHH!”“What are you doing to him? Is he hurt?” Phil demanded the Babadook. If this fugly thing had inflicted even the slightest paper cut on Dan, Phil would grab it by the neck and toss it out the window.“Yolki palki, I am just changing his clothes! He is very weak boy, can’t stand a leetle discomfort!” Changing his clothes? Was this Cinderella or something? Then the sparkles parted with Dan and Phil could see him again. Except, his pajamas were gone, replaced by a lavish pink suit with a bedazzled tie. “There we go!’ Said the Babadook. "You look fabulous!” Dan adjusted his tie, blushing heavily. “Th-thank you? How-” he articulated, but was interrupted by the all-business creature.“Now, you, Pheelip. You like blue, no?”“Yes,” Phil agreed.“Okee.” And then, the magical Babadook did its thing, and there stood Phil in a dapper blue tuxedo. He had a rainbow bow tie about his neck, a foil to Dan’s sparkly. Dan couldn’t look away, because the ensemble matched Phil’s eyes perfectly.“This is amazing! How did you do that? Wait, how do you know our names? For that matter, how did you find our address?” “Eet is secret. Now, we must go, or else you vill be late.” Dan and Phil looked at each other, overwhelmed by this glorious Babadook, but they were curious as to where it would lead them, so they simply follow the Babadook to the magic carpet-like rainbow waiting at the window. It took off the black top hat it had worn on its head and gestured to the rainbow like they were supposed to just step on it. “But how does it work? What if you are tricking us and it’s an illusion and then we will fall and die?” Dan inquired. He squinted at their herald with suspicion. Why would this monster thing deliver them to a ball?“Shut up. You are a gud child, the world tyells me that, but you also very annoyeeng. I like you-”-he flicked a finger at Phil again-“byetter. Daniel, do you want to go to ball or not? Styep onto the rainbow.” Dan surrendered. “Fine!” he huffed, and stepped on the translucent rainbow carpet that stretched across the sky. Phil hurried after him, and lastly the Babadook came, closing their window behind it. They only had a moment to look out on the London skyline before the rainbow, like it was being pulled in on the other end, rushed away from their apartment building. “WhOAAAA!” Dan and Phil screamed. The Babadook simply stood stoically on the red stripe of the magic ribbon rainbow, and glared at them. “Whiny children. You make a fuss of nothing,” it remarked, leaning onto a metal cane blacker than even its dark hat. Even though the ribbon was moving at lightning speed, the three of them weren’t even wobbling. It was akin to the movement you would experience in a high-tech sideways elevator. In a couple of minutes, the rainbow finally stopped.Dan and Phil looked away from the Babadook and gasped. Rainbow columns and glorious staircases stood all around them. Guests danced dressed as colorfully as the Babadook had wardrobed them. Buffets lined the halls, where bodacious cakes of different pride flag color schemes and pizza for all resided. A disco ball refracted colorful little specks on the walls of a ….. magnificent rainbow palace. “Vyelcome to my house. A haven for everyone in LGBTQ plooss community.”“It’s…beautiful,” Dan murmured, memorizing every inch of it. “Thyenk you. Enjoy the Ball-Badook.” And with that, the Babadook bound away. Dan and Phil were both relieved to be rid of its horrid face and direly unnerved from cluelessness. “Should we…mingle?” suggested Phil. They appeared to know none of the people, and the other guests were very preoccupied with their friends and partners. Dan scrunched his pink-clothed shoulders from intimidation. “I-uh-can we not? If this is only an annual thing, I don’t want to be so preoccupied with meeting new people that I don’t enjoy it with you.” Phil shyly beamed, for he didn’t actually want to talk to the crowd either and because his boyfriend was being cute. “Of course.” With that, he took Dan in his arms and pulled him to the dance floor, where “Love Someone” by The 1975 was playing. Dan was startled with Phil’s spontaneity. How did he amaze him every time?They slow danced for a few songs, bathing in the rainbow reflections and soft atmosphere. The night had been quite wacky so far, but now the couple fekt safe and peaceful. It didn’t do harm that each of them couldn’t stop looking at each other because of their lovely custom outfits. In that moment, they were just in love with no one else in the world, and Phil leaned in for a snog and Dan leaned in too, and their lips were almo-“HEY NOW! YOU’RE AN ALL-STAR!” The tranquility was short-lived, and the calm harmonies of “For Him.” by Troye Sivan were interrupted by All-Star and the Babadook’s wretched voice. Dan and Phil broke apart, shocked. The second time their moment had been interfered with by this thing!“HYELLO MY VUNDERFUL GUESTS! VYELCOME TO THE BALL-BADOOK! IT IS NOW TIME FOR A SHORT DJ SESSION OF MY ALTERNATE PERSONA, DJ DOOK!!” tne Babadook shouted over Smash Mouth. “HYERE IS MY BOYFRIEND, SHREK, THEME SONG! ENJOY OR I WEELL KYILL YOU!”Somehow, Dan and Phil were not surprised that the Babadook and Shrek were lovers. They just grumbled in annoyance for the loud music. How long was the DJ Dook going to play for?“We might as well dance!” Phil yelled, chuckling. He grabbed Dan’s hand and twirled him round. They danced through “I’m a Believer”, “Mambo no. 5”, “Ice Ice Baby”, “Friday”, and “Spooky Scary Skeletons” before they were finally ‘ryick rolled’ by the DJ Dook. As “Never Gonna Give You Up” came to an end, Phil offered to grab them some drinks. Dan applauded the Babadook for a playlist that was simultaneously iconic and irksome. Phil returned shortly with two margarita glasses of a rainbow liquid. The bubbles inside wibbled and wobbled with the faint movements of Phil’s palms. “I’ve never seen this before. What’s it called?” Dan asked.“It’s called 'Liquid Love’. The barwoman said it was crafted by the Bar-Badook, the Babadook’s other persona.”“Uh. Okay. Toast to the Babadook?”“Sure.” They clinked their glasses, making the drinks fizz shimmeringly, and took a gulp each. What they didn’t know was that Liquid Love affected your heart, not other organs. Every emotion in it would be multiplied in power by 666. For Dan and Phil’s hearts, which were already bursting a lot more than the average couple with both love and lust for each other, this was NOT a good idea. “Whoa. I suddenly feel…extra gay. Phil, wanna climb on that chandelier and make out?”“Me TOO! You look like the hottest man on earth right now, Dan. I love your pants. Can i have them? Like now. As well, I comply one hundred percent to your chandelier concept.”——–

When they woke up, it was noon, and the rainbow of the palace had vanished. So were their gorgeous suits. Dan lifted his eyelids first to feel the comfort of blankets and his old couch. Phil was drooling on his chest. “Phil,” he whispered. “Mmmm??” Phil snuggled even closer. “Phil, it’s morning, and I don’t remember anything past when we took those weird drinks. Do you recall?”There was no response, so Dan took a totoro pillow and whacked him with it. “PHIL!”Phil opened his own eyes and looked up at Dan. He yawned adorably and stretched, accidentally hitting Dan in the nose. “Mmm… just that I felt really infatuated with you.”Dan narrowed his eyes playfully. “But aren’t you always, babe?”“Yes, but like extra.”Dan laughed. Suddenly he noticed a pastel rainbow post it stuck onto the couch. Scrawling handwriting in black ink was spurted across it. “You are byest guests I have hyad in a vile. You owe me nyew chandyelier, but eet ok. Sincerely, Babadook.”