#perhaps this manifests in ??? being less of a chaos tornado and as hes gotten used to himself he moreso manifests as his subconscious

[lovebitesimagines]

Dangerous Love- Failure.

So...you guys are definitely gonna want to have some tissues at the ready when you read this!

Masterlist.

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Tag list: @happyhostforsymbiotes @namelesslosers @brianaisasongbird @crazymofos021 @lifetimeofadventue @itsmissdahliahayward @1opinionshared @unrulyhealy @frootloop311 @amywhatsherface @thinkingsofamadwoman @shadow-of-wonder @anytimebitches @crazyonesarethebest @christinawxxx @biba3434 @onlythechicagoway @zazasblogxx 

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Warnings: VERY. FUCKING. EMOTIONAL. OKAY.

A confession comes hand in hand with heartbreak.

  YOUR POV

Your eyes felt heavy, weighed down with slumber that seemed to avoid you whenever you got close. The small moments of sleep you had manage to snatch, had been plagued with nightmares. You would only blink, and suddenly you were faced with a man pointing a rifle right at you. You had no time to scream, given no opportunity to make a sound, before the trigger had been pulled. The memory of the bullet tearing through your skin, had brought you crashing back to Earth. Your screams would ring out through the room, as Alfie would wrap his arms around you, attempting to soothe your panic.            

 You were curled up on the armchair, placed within a darkened corner of the room. The shadows provided you with some form of solace, as your eyes wearily took in the goings on around you. Alfie sat at the dining table in front of you, the members of your family around him. Tommy had called a family meeting, and despite Alfie’s protests, you had insisted on being in the room when it took place. Although now, you had begun to regret it. Exhaustion had made your body feel more battered and bruised, than it already was.            

A hint of a smile played upon your lips, as you took note of how out of place Alfie looked surrounded by your family. His shoulders where hunched over slightly, his large frame placed in between John and Arthur. You had noticed how your brothers had seemed to warm towards him, in the past few days, and for that you were grateful. You knew it hadn’t been easy on Alfie, seeing you in such a state. Pol had told you that they couldn’t get him to leave your side, in the days that you had laid asleep, his eyes forever watching over you. Guilt had continuously bubbled away in your stomach, since you had found out how much the shooting had affected your family.           

 It had affected everybody but one.           

 Tommy.            

You knew that he hadn’t bothered to visit you after the shooting, instead opting to hide away in his office. It had hurt you, knowing that the brother you had thought so highly off, hadn’t made the effort to check that you were okay. He had changed, ever since the news of your relationship with Alfie had come to light. His moods where far darker, with even John and Arthur making every effort to avoid him. It was strange, the transformation in him that no one could help but notice.           

 A low hum of voices rang throughout the room, your ears catching a few words from the strangely polite conversations that were taking place. The variety of noises all mingled into one, caused your temples to dully throb, a lack of sleep catching up on you. You shifted slightly in your seat, wincing quietly as you felt the stitches stretch with your movements. You hugged your knees close to your chest, closing your eyes for a brief moment. Silence suddenly fell upon the room, causing your eyelids to flutter open in curiosity.            

 Tommy.Your brother had always held the power of commanding a frightened silence across the population of Small Heath. Strangers were often aware of his reputation, long before they had the chance to meet him. He demanded respect from everyone who crossed his path, the only exception to the rule being you and your family. The Shelbys’ had no issue with putting Tommy in his place, which was why the quiet that had cloaked the room upon his arrival, was unnerving.             

You glanced at your family, a concerned frown beginning to crease between your brows. The tension that had manifested in the room was unmistakable, the air quickly becoming heavy with a thick hostility. Pairs of eyes followed Tommy as he made his way to the front of the room, each holding a similar expression.             

Anger.

“S’pose you’re all wonderin’ why I called you here today” Tommy announced to the room, lowering himself onto his chair. His face held the same, cold arrogance that it always had, a feature that you had gotten used too. Yet there was something different in his eyes, his cold blue orbs possessing an uncharacteristic hint of worry.

“Just get it over with Tommy” Arthur grunted, his eyes focused upon the table in front of him.

“You may notice we have a new member here today” Tommy ignored Arthur, giving a curt nod in Alfies’ direction, placing a cigarette in between his lips to light. “Not that I had much choice in the matter”.           

 The frown upon your forehead deepened at Tommys’ words. His unjustifiable insolence was beginning to wear thin on you. You noticed Alfie shifting uncomfortably in his seat, the chair far too small for him to be placed upon. 

“Thank ya’ for the invite” Alfie mumbled.

“Enough of the pleasantries. What did you call us here for Tommy?” John snapped, impatience clear in his voice.

“Alfie? What is it you wanted to say?” Tommy smirked, raising an eyebrow as his eyes bore into your fiancé. Alfie coughed slightly, rummaging in his coat pocket for a few brief moments, before pulling out a few fragments of silver metal.

“The bullet, yeah, that fuckin’ went through (Y/N) …” Alfie swallowed hard, allowing your family to witness a rare show of nervousness, before he continued to talk. “Had my fuckin’ name on it”.            

Silence.            

The quiet chilled your exposed skin, as Alfies’ words settled and disappeared into the air. You knew what this had meant, the unspoken meaning deafeningly loud. Your family glanced around the room, their eyes anxiously refusing to meet your own. Their chairs creaked, as they nervously shifted in their seats, grasping their sweaty hands. This behaviour was unusual of a Shelby, who never let their façade of confidence slip. The only person who seemed unmoved at what Alfie had to say, was Tommy.           

 They knew something.

 “So, what you’re trying to say, is that our sister got shot…because of you?” Tommy jeered, his voice harshly shattering the silence.

 “No. Of course I fuckin’ ain’t. I was just tryin’ to say that- “Alfie began, furiously glaring at Tommy. 

“You were just trying to that you’re a fucking dangerous man, and our sister is not safe around you!” Tommy snapped, stubbing the cigarette out upon the table.            

 Angry voices began to rise, heated words thrown carelessly between the two men. Each word was intended to hurt the other, filled with poison and undeniable hate. They didn’t argue with their fists or weapons, but each word packed a powerful punch, bruising the other.             

Fists slammed down upon the table, violently bringing the confrontation to a sudden end. Your head spun to the source of the sound. Finn stood there, red faced and breathless, his chair fallen to the floor behind him.

“I heard what you told Aunt Pol” he spat, his fists beginning to tremble as he turned to glare at Tommy.

 “I know it was you that sent that bullet”.

*****************************************************************************************************

ALFIES POV            

Alfie was never one to get his hopes up, never was one to look forward to anything. Yet when he found you, you had changed all of that. Suddenly he had a reason to live, something to get excited about. You had made him want to be somebody different, to better himself. You had made him realise that there was a life outside of the harsh London streets, that there was something else other than violence and crime.          

  Life always had a cruel way of reminding Alfie who he was, solidifying his fear that he just didn’t deserve you. The bullet fragments had weighed down heavy in his pocket, constantly taunting him of his failure. He had been unsuccessful in protecting you, when truthfully, he should have been there. He should never have let you walk out of that front door alone, then perhaps the bullet would have hit him instead.          

  The intended target.            

Alfie had thought that revealing his findings to your family, stressing his concern about needing to protect you more, would have lifted a weight of your shoulders. He had assumed that this would have magically made everything okay. He couldn’t have been more wrong.            

 Alfie should never have underestimated Tommy Shelby, and that was the second mistake he had made. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had known that it was your brother who had sent the bullet. He had repressed the idea, refusing to allow himself to believe it. Your irresistible desire to see the best in everyone, had somewhat influenced him.          

   Tommys’ confession had changed everything. After Finn had outed him, the room had erupted into chaos. Alfie had watched as you stood up too quickly, tearing your stitches in the process. His heart had broken as he witnessed the tears spill down your cheeks, your skin paling you struggled to hide the agonising pain that you felt. He had stood back, as Polly led you out of the room.        

    He was a coward.          

  Alfie sat on the edge of your bed, his fingers playing with the edge of your blanket, the strands of material frayed around the border. The breeze coming from the open window, caused goose bumps to rise upon his exposed arms. His mind was a tornado of anxious plans, each one making less sense than the last. In the midst of it all, he knew what he had to do.            

He looked up at the sound of the door opening, a soft smile playing upon his lips as he watched you enter the room. You looked beautiful, hell you always had done. He would never understand how you could have possibly fallen for somebody like him. Tendrils of wet hair snaked down your shoulders, as you turned your back to him to open your closet.            

Alfies heart sank, as he watched you search for a dress to wear. He knew what your intentions where- to hide the scar that had formed upon your skin, shouting loudly to the world of your brother’s betrayal. He stood up slowly, watching you pull out a light blue dress, one that you had worn a few times already that week. He couldn’t help but notice the way your shoulders drooped, as your fingers caressed the material of the other dresses in your closet. He knew you longed to wear them again, to feel like a woman again.

“Ya’ know, I think ya’ look fuckin’ beautiful in whatever you wear” Alfie whispered, desperate to make you feel better. You turned to face him, suppressing the hint of a smile that began to twitch upon your lips, as you slid into the dress.             

Silence had been a common feature between you both, neither of you knowing what to say to the other. It fractured Alfies’ heart, each quiet second that dragged by, sending another sharp puncture through him. The air around you both was heavy with the words he wished he could say to you, anything to make this better. But he couldn’t.            

He had failed you.           

 You sighed softly, moving back towards the bedroom door. 

“Wait” Alfie mumbled, reaching out to gently grasp at your arm. “We need…we need to talk”.            

Alfie was aware that you knew what those four words meant, watching you slowly turn back around to face him. Your eyes gave everything away. That was something he loved about you, how you always openly expressed your feelings. Now the feature he adored, was slowly breaking his heart. Pools of tears begin to form in your (Y/C/E) eyes, droplets slowly spilling out onto your cheeks. Alfie longed to brush them away, to take back the words he was about to say, but he knew. He knew that he needed to do this, to protect you.

“I can’t do this anymore. Knowin’ that your family will forever fuckin’ hate me. Knowin’ that you fuckin’ got shot…because of me” the words spilled out of Alfies’ mouth, a torrent of excuses that he knew you would fight against.            

Your mouth opened slightly as you began to talk. Alfie shook his head softly, placing a finger upon your lips. He knew this would be the last time, that he was lucky enough to touch your soft skin. His mind frantically tried to come up with something, anything to make you let him leave. 

“I don’t love ya’” Alfie stated, trying his best to hide the truth from you. He watched as you stepped back, your face falling at the words he said. If he could take it all back, he would have done, but it was too late.            

He was doing this to protect you.            

Alfie made his way towards the door, pausing briefly as he placed his hand upon the door handle.

“(Y/N) …” he whispered, beginning to turn to face you.“

Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare” you murmured. 

Alfie pulled down upon the door handle, beginning to make his way out of the room, when he felt something sharp hit his back, clattering ominously against the floor. The fallen diamond ring glinted in the corner of his eye, symbolic of everything he had just let slip away. He swallowed hard, attempting to ignore the heartbroken sobs that began to tear through your body. He closed the door behind him, leaving the ring to lay sadly upon the wooden floorboards.

As Alfie made his way out of the house, the realisation of what he had just done began to sink in. He had left somebody, who had loved him endlessly, despite the countless amounts of flaws that he possessed. He had never expected to fall for you, yet he had found himself falling hard. He had left you out of fear, a cowardly action that he believed would protect you.

If Alfie had noticed the eyes that where watching him in the shadows, he would realise just how wrong he was.