#people wouldn't know about you no natter how hard you try

[cockinator3000]

I WAS SO HAPPY

[cherishedproperty]

Hi !, It's me again, I've asked about your opinion on approaching my husband about D/S concept. I thought of sharing with you how it turned out.

I followed your advice, I approached the natter lightly and gave him time to think and process everything on his own. I was on edge the whole time, I haven't felt nervous around my husband in such a long time. Every time we were alone, I was on high alert , waiting for him to say something about it since it was not mentioned ever again.

After couple of day, which felt like a long month , I woke up and my husband is gone to work as usual but I found a note stuck on the fridge which I wouldn't have seen if my 7 years old didn't point at it. The note said kids will be having asleep over,That's it. To me the note spoke so many things that weren't written on it but that simple sentence caused me to freak out. Funny How he managed to faze me so easily.

Fast forward to the evening, Kids at the sleep over at my in laws. I'm alone in the house, somehow, miraculously the house is clean,everything is in place and I sat Literally on the stairs waiting for my husband till I hot a message from him telling me to check my make up drawer and I did, only to find another note that says I want you naked.

Now , I don't know if people experienced discussing something serious while completely naked and the other person is fully clothed. I fought the urge to squirm so bad, it was distracting and completely put me in daze. I felt very vulnerable to some extent but it was such a powe play, to be bare for him and for his needs.

We discussed fair amount of stuff and I was and still am truly astonished how he quickly came by and how knowledgeable he was about it more than I thought he would be.

Serve, take , allow and accept.

Those were words my husband said to me and asked me How far I am willing to go.My reply was immediately and it was how far he was willing to go , but he disagreed with me and asked me to think about it because he and I were in this for different things,we'd have different needs full fill.

I had to tease with for being so into it which got me in trouble but I didn't complain. I understood what he tried say , now I'm trying to find an answer.

How far am I willing to go?

Truly my reply is still the same, If it was with him, I'm willing to go as far as he wants, I love and trust him immensely, he always has my best interest in mind but I feel like my answer should be more about me than him as he insinuated.

So I'm asking you again because I wanna be clear as possible with myself before stepping deeper into this.

Also thank you for your lovely reply last time, it truly meant so much to me.

Wow, it sounds like maybe he was just waiting for permission to step into the role formally. Sounds like a great first conversation!

He’s right that you will have different needs. I think the next step is to try to get a sense for what your needs and his needs really are. This is a conversation you’ll revisit a bunch of times as you learn this new side of each other. But it’s good to at least have a starting point.

One of the mistakes I see vanilla to D/s couples make is to assume they understand what the other person has in mind. Sometimes one person thinks of it primarily as a kinky sex thing, while the other is looking for more of the non-bedroom stuff. Sometimes one person thinks there will be certain kinds of rules, while the other isn’t interested in that. It can be hard as a submissive to tell your partner what you’re looking for. Sometimes it feels completely unsubmissive. But trust me, you have to at least tell him the kinds of things that speak to you. If he’s going to lead, he has to understand what your needs are. And you have to understand his. He may be leading, but you both are creating the dynamic together. It has to work for both of you.

Some people do a BDSM checklist with their partner, but those tend to keep the focus on bedroom kink, rather than a more full-spectrum D/s dynamic. Still, could be fun at some point. After all, all of this is about fun! Don’t forget that.

I wrote this a while ago about setting rules when you’re starting out. Linking here in case it’s also helpful. But it sounds like you’re already off to a good start. Now you get to talk and explore together. This is the exciting part. ☺️