#people really just don't take my cane seriously because i'm in my 20s

[townofcrosshollow]

One thing I knew but wasn't really conscious of before getting my cane is the sheer extent of prejudice against young people with disabilities.

Like, bus drivers are more likely to lower tye bus for a 60 year old with no visible disabilities than for me with my cane. Same for people standing up to let me sit down. In fact in the many months I've been using a cane nobody has ever stood to allow me to sit without being directly asked. People will actively push in front of me. When I'm walking on the sidewalk, people will not move aside to let me pass, as if I'm supposed to walk/put my cane down on the grass (that is not how canes work you can't do that). One time some older customers at work joked about buying a lot of vitamins and pills and how "that's what it's like when you get old," and I joked back about how I must be old then, and they starrted furiously explaining how I didn't understand because I was "young and healthy." Most people at least remark on my cane, and every single time it's under the assumption that it's a temporary thing, that it's because of some kind of minor injury, etc.

It's just kind of crazy.

[gutsfics]

Meet My ILITW MC: Devi Casil

DOB: October 3, 1999 (current age- 23) Date of Death: September 30, 2017 (age- 17) Date of Reanimation: Mid-September 2021 Series: It Lives LI: Noah Marshall Pronouns: He/him

Fun Fact: He didn't talk at all for just over six years after Jane died.

Personality

Devi is good-natured and cheerful and he loves to joke around and make people laugh, although he can be a bit immature at times (i.e telling Cody to gargle his dick and balls). Although he's very friendly when approached, he tends to keep to himself. He also bottles his emotions up to hell and back. He is severely traumatized from Jane's death and should see a therapist about it. He has not.

He's very artistic and his favorite classes in school were any and all art classes. He also knows a lot about plants from his parents and is really good at foraging.

He doesn't make promises often any more, but he takes them very, very seriously.

He is bisexual and genderqueer.

Family

Devi is the youngest of four, and was a surprise baby. His siblings are ten, nine, and seven years older than him. He has two sisters, Mona Lisa and Sloane, and a brother, Cab. His parents are named Ares and Toshiko (敏子). They own and run a landscaping and floral arrangement business together which they opened when Devi started grade school, although Ares was a stay-at-home-dad when the kids were young enough to need him home 24/7. Toshiko has a doctorate in botany from the University of Tokyo. Because he has three fairly older siblings, Ares and Toshiko's parenting style was pretty relaxed with Devi and they kind of essentially just let him do whatever. Sometime after ILITW but before ILB, his parents become aware of the Power, although they don't know much about it and do not know that he isn't fully gone.

Depending on which ILW ending I'm writing for at any given moment, Devi and Noah may or may not be happily married & running a restaurant together.

Death and Revival

The moment Devi learned that the ghost was Jane and not Redfield, he knew he had to be the one to take her place, to make up for his broken promise. Like in canon, he asks Jane to let him have a fair fight with Noah, but unlike canon he does this to snap Noah out of whatever kind of hold Jane had on her so Noah wouldn't blame himself for his death. Him making a conscious choices to replace Jane is part of the reason why he has an easier time holding onto his humanity than Jane and Redfield did.

If Devi had been more lucid as a ghost, he would have told Noah not to try to bring him back, and that he should move on and let him be dead in peace. But he wasn't so he didn't/couldn't. However he is grateful to have a second chance at life, even though he was brought back in the middle of everything going to complete shit. Devi's Cool New Body does not have his piercings, dyed hair, or stick and poke tattoos, but he does have a scar across his face from the knife fight with Noah from his left cheekbone to just above the right corner of his mouth. Although he does recover from being dead in decent time, he never really fully recovers and he starts using a cane by his mid 20s.

Other

No matter which ILW route I do, he is always my ILITW MC. He is also always Redfielded with the exception of a single au wherein Noah sacrifices himself by pushing Devi away.

[timeoverload]

I thought I was going to have an easy day but unfortunately I didn't. I only had 9 eye cases so I guess that was nice. They still didn't get done with those until after 4 because the last one took a couple hours. There were 70 cases all together on our side of the hospital so it was pretty busy. I wrapped so many total pans. I wrapped a set of 15 pans just for one surgery and most of them were "hold" pans which means they probably won't even use them. It took almost 2 hours to inspect them and wrap them because I was trying to do other things at the same time. It's also frustrating that some doctors request like 20 pans for a surgery and others can do the same procedure with 3 pans. There are so many different systems that do the exact same thing but they are from different vendors so some sets have more instruments than others. I'm constantly having to learn new sets and I had to do that earlier.

I actually got a chance to talk to the director about that guy who has been bothering me and he said he will handle it. I know he is taking the situation seriously so that made me feel better. That girl who came to me for advice admitted that she is still talking to him and it made me angry. She has been lying to everyone. I hate being lied to. I think she is going to have to find out the hard way that he's not a good guy. I'm discouraged because I really wanted to help her. I can't help her. I don't really want to continue talking to her unless it's about something work related. I guess I'm not going to worry about that situation anymore. I don't want anything to do with that mess.

I was having a really tough time getting around today so I'm glad I didn't have to run around a bunch like I usually do. I almost fell down the stairs when I was leaving this morning. Sometimes I have to hold on to things so I don't tip over. I probably should start taking the elevator more often at work. My co-worker told me I should pull up in a wheelchair next week. I wish I could sometimes. I want to be able to take my cane to work but I don't know how I'm supposed to carry things while using it. I would have to clean it constantly. I would probably get some weird looks from people too. I don't know why it bothers me or why I feel ashamed to use it. I think I might try to use it more at home so I don't hurt myself. I need to find it first but I'm afraid to try to get out of bed. I hope I feel better after resting for a couple of days.

I had to stay an hour late and I'm tired. I'm a little crabby right now. I am planning on going to bed early. I wanted to play video games or something but I don't know if I want to be on the computer that long. I am going to have to run errands tomorrow and I want to get up early. I still haven't heard anything about my glasses so I really hope they arrive tomorrow or I'm going to be a little disappointed. I don't want to wait another week but I will survive even if I don't get them tomorrow. I think I need to make myself get up now and get ready for bed. I hope tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow!!! Thank you for trying to cheer me up and I appreciate all the love. :) 💖💖💖

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 1

Title: Being sucked in

A/n: I'm not sure how long this.. story will take but i will try my best to keep it entertaining.. this story is about you, being sucked into genshin world, this is part 1.. please enjoy. Leave a comment or suggestion.. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Today is another normal day, nothing is really out of the ordinary, the sky is a little bit cloudy but you don't mind, you think that the wind blowing against your hair is very nice as you walk towards your school. You walked inside, stopping Infront of the locker to the entrance to fix your stuff and take your schedule until you felt a presence beside you.

"oh, hello sidia".

You greets one of your sleepy friend, she just let's out a 'hmm' and a nod while looking through her locker, not even giving you an eye contact. sidia has always been like this, she never really made an eye contact towards you but she still shows that she has some of her attention towards you.

"good morning".

Your other friend, Chelz Lee, let's out a mutter to the both of you, Chelz is more talkative then Sidia, you met them maybe a couple of years ago. they're a very talented artist and are a very interesting friends to be around with.

"what's up guys".

You too greet them without looking at their eye, you take your books out and proceed to take a peak at Sidia's schedule.

"oh? Mathematics on the first hour? Goodluck".

You snicker and slap her shoulder a little bit, she stares at you uninterestedly with her sleepy eye and started to walk away, letting you stare at her black low ponytail hair.

You giggle and take a peak at Chelz's schedule. Art. her first lesson for today seems fun you thought sighing at the sight of your first schedule that reads 'science'.

Chelz already went half way to catching up to Sidia before she looks back at you as if asking you to join them and you did. You jog towards her, taking her hand and started to jog towards Sidia either.

"how are you both?".

You ask them both while fixing the books on your hand and looking at your shoes to check the lace.

"depressed".

Sidia answered, you make a 'uhuh' sound feeling used to her answers. Chelz stroke her short wavy black bangs out of her eyes and use her black glasses and start to read her novel. Her black short hair blows a little because of the wind.

"fine".

She answered you, yawning and stretching her arms out beside her. You and the rest of your friend said goodbye to eachother and proceed to go to your different ways.

You went inside your class. As usual people are in teams, some are in teams for fun, some are in teams for checking today's lesson.

You take a one seat beside the window and wait for the teacher to come inside the classroom.

The lesson went on as usual, smoothly even, you did your homework andd the score that you got on yesterday's test is not bad, B is not a bad grade. You take out your binder and put the paper's that you got in to the binder.

Going home is the best thing about the day. You and Chelz are chatting away about until you guys cane across a gaming store.

"ou? A gaming store".

Sidia said, catching yours and Chelz attention. Chelz look at that place very seriously, squinting her eye.

"...since when is there a gaming store here- y/n!".

She was very suspicious of this place, she doesn't remember any gaming store around here... And if there is one opening soon it should be the talk of the school. in short Chelz was suspicious but you, being a gaming enthusiast decided to check it out, thinking maybe they have a good and cheap open world game.

"... She's crazy".

Sidia chuckled. She took Chelz arm, snapping her out of her suspicious state and drag her towards the gaming store.

"yo- sidia i don't wanna die".

"well i do. So let's go".

And with that the both of them followed you in.

The store looks very cool.. it's like you're in a different world. The ceiling's wallpaper is made out of galaxy like drawing and the light bulb was covered with another ball that is drawn to match with the different planets on the solar system.

"welcome to the store how may i help you".

A girl that looks like in her mid 20 greets the both of you, she have short black hair and a green uniform and a little pin on the breast part of her uniform spell out 'katheryne'. Which you assume was her name.

"hello! I was wondering do you have any open world game?".

You instantly ask her, not caring about the suspicious store, you don't even care about the insides of the place. You just wanted to play a open world game that's full of interesting stuff. The girl name katheryne hums in understanding and goes behind the table to look for a game you requested. Chelz grabs your hand and shout whisper to you.

"this place is creepy y/n. Let's get out of here".

Chelz scold you, you sigh and looks at her calmly shaking your head no.

"it's fine, were fine, what's the worst thing that could happen?".

You whisper back with a lighter tone. Really you don't care if this place comes out of nowhere you just want your game, you're smiling stupidly while waiting for the girl.

"anywayyy if anything happened, Sidia is here, she'll be able to protect us using her fighting style knowledge thingy".

Sidia scoffed and fold her arms, looking at you as if you're crazy.

"i will leave you alone and save myself".

You laugh and was about to slap her back when she holds your hand and rolls her eyes at you.

"such a tsun tsun".

You laugh out, she slowly and gently let your hand away. From the corner of your eye you can see katheryne walking towards the counter. You immediately jump and went towards her.

"this is the only open world game that i found".

She said, you look at the weird japanese like word, assuming it was the title you try to read what is said.. you don't understand it but the design was cool though.

"this is a open world game called genshin impact. I will not spoil the story but i think this game might be the game you're looking for".

Her confidence is seeping in on your game needy state so you decided to purchase it, not thinking twice. Sidia face palm while Chelz just sigh, feeling tired of your hot headed act.

"it will be 2$".

You felt giddy, you can't help it. It's cheap and is a open world game, that is a steal. After taking your stuff, the both of your friend immediately pull you away from the store.

"okay y/n. You got what you need, that place is sus i tell ya".

Sidia said, Chelz nods her head and fix her black glasses, she stare at you while furrowing her eyebrows.

"you gotta stop doing reckless thing. Who knows what that place is".

You sigh and nod, rolling your eye. You giggle anyway and put the game in front of you.

"i know.. but were safe! I wanna try and play it when i get home".

Sidia and Chelz just sigh, what can they do anyway. On the way home you and your friends goes on your own separate way as usual, you jog towards your home, feeling giddy to play the new game.

You take a bath, and goes straight to your computer, opening the plastic wrapper on the game. You insert the disc and started to wait for the loading screen.

And oh gosh.. isn't it pretty, the cutscene the art. Everything. So the game basically tells you about the story of two traveller, who was travelling from world to world until suddenly a mysterious god appears, took one of the twins and take away the other twins power, and now you're playing as the twin who was looking for their missing sister.

You look at the wishing button, tempted to wish for a character, you decided to pull. Expecting a cool banner of the current character instead, you're greets by a white screen.

"hm.. should i restart it?".

You mumble to yourself, nodding in agreement at your words, you close the disc and pulls out the game from your computer. You take a nearby wipe and wipe the back disc gently and then put it back in on the computer.

The game is launching when suddenly you felt a huge and sudden headache comes over you.

"ugh-!".

You groan, gosh.. maybe it's because you have been staring at the screen for too long.. you thinks as a bumping headache keeps going at you.

While waiting for the game you decided to lay back a bit, rest your eyes and head.. this headache is not going away anytime soon if you keep waiting and staring at the screen.

Before you reach the bed, your body stumble forward and fall on to the floor, cannot control any part of your body you close your eyes and your mind went blank.

A darkness is all that you see.. a darkness is all that you're in.. you remember that the last time you are in your bedroom, playing genshin until a huge headache wave over you. Now that you're sense's is back something felt wrong.. you can tell you are laying on something.. it's not comfy but it's still felt quite nice.

You opened your eye slowly and look around the place, groaning as you stare at the half blue and half white wall. You look at your bed and this bed looks like one of the hospital bed..... Wait hospital bed?! You instantly look around frantically where the heck are you?!

"oh you're awake!".

A gentle calm voice echoed throughout the room. That voice sounds familiar.. you turn around and saw a girl with a nurse hat and a white dress, her cream coloured hair is put in a ponytail... Barbara?!.

You stare at her unbelievably. Act cool.. act like.. like a human.. yeah!. You think to yourself. You know this girl.. this girl is the free 4 star character that you'll get once you reach a certain level. Okay y/n.. play it cool.. just act like you don't know this place.

"why.. am i here?".

You look at the girl, she seems nervous to be around you ... Which is normal maybe. She walked beside you and take a cup of empty glass beside you and pour a pitcher full of water inside the glass half full and then take them, offering the glass to you.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

A/n; GOD I'm so sorry it took a long time, i hope the 'cliffhanger' makes sense...? But! Thankyou for reading! I am working on part 2 so more will be incoming!!!

[roboticchibitan]

I have long COVID. After I had COVID in July 2020, I started having "allergic" reactions to things I'm not allergic to. I have the symptoms of MCAS, though getting a diagnosis is incredibly difficult. It took me a year to get anyone to take me seriously. I just got off the phone from leaving the allergist a message because my symptoms were somewhat controlled with antihistamines but now... not so much. Again.

There was a period of time in 2021 where I could not eat 80% of the food in a grocery store. I slowly lost more and more foods until I was mostly living off rice mixed with cheese and microwaved for a minute. And then I started reacting to rice and let me tell you that damn near broke me. Even thinking about how dark that period of my life was makes me tear up. It was bad. I felt, and I still do to a degree, like my life was a horror movie with nowhere to run. It was horrific. I was genuinely afraid I was going to die. Either from sudden idiopathic anaphylactic shock (I have an epi pen now because this is a genuine concern with MCAS) or from malnutrition.

I still struggle to eat because every time I take a bite of food I just have to accept that that might be the bite that kills me. Don't try to imagine what that's like because you can't. It's horrifying. It's terrifying. It's exhausting.

My fibro that I already had got 100 times worse. I went from occasionally using a cane to needing a wheelchair for things like grocery shopping or going on a walk. If I'm not going to be sitting down 90% of the time I go somewhere, I need my chair. I hardly ever leave my house.

I get confused easily. I get overwhelmed easily because I am constantly in pain and it makes everything else harder. I cannot read anymore. I don't know if it's brain fog or actual neurological damage but I can't read. It's like the words just. Don't stick in my head. I broke down crying recently because I had read 30 pages of poetry and didn't remember a single word. The words just don't register. And audiobooks aren't really better. I can get about 20% of the words of an audiobook to stick in my head.

I'm exhausted constantly. A bone deep, completely and utterly overhwelming exhaustion that never goes away no matter what I do. Sometimes when I flare I get very weak. In fact, I have been so weak I got trapped underneath a weighted blanket before. I've been so weak that I couldn't pick up and remove my cat when his kneading was hurting me so much I thought I was going to throw up. He's a small cat. He weighs 9 pounds. And I couldn't even move my body in a way to knock him off of me. I was trapped in a very painful situation that was making me worse and I had no way out. Just like the rest of my life.

There's more. I'm not as eloquent as I used to be simply because I am too tired and foggy headed to find the right words. But I'm tired. Writing this has used up my mental energy for the next 4-6 hours. The fog is already setting in and I have things to do today (like take a shower) that I probably can't do now because I took the time to think and write this out, and by the time my brain has recovered, my body will be too wrecked by the snow we are getting for me to do them.

I'm tired. COVID is serious. It will ruin your life. The pandemic is not over. Wear a mask to protect people like me. And to protect people from becoming like me.

excellent, fantastic video on long covid, touching on similarities to other post-viral syndromes as well as MCAS and ME/CFS and Fibro. Well done.

[treadmilltreats]

Not just following the flock

I've always been one to follow the beat of my own drummer. I never really was a follower, I was more of a leader and this goes for all aspects in my life. 

I've taught my girls to always dance to their own drummer, ask questions, follow your gut instints. So recently at a checkup I found out that I had high cholesterol and right away, without even a discussion with me, my doctor wants to put me on medication.

 Now mind you he didn't ask me, he just told me like he was God and I had to listen. Let's not even go there because he actually thought he was as he was a condescending smuck but that's besides the point. He actually told me when I was telling him I was having stomach problems that it was because I didn't eat enough rice and beans. Seriously?? I can't make this shit up people! But I live in Miami what can I expect. 

Anyway I told him that before I took any kind of medication I would need to know the name of it and do some research about it. I want to know how long has it been on the market? What kind of side effects it has? The benefits of it, versus the side effects, ect. These are things I need to know because I am not a guinea pig for the government and I don't care if it's FDA approved, that means nothing to me except how much money they got in their pockets from the drug manufacturers.

He got all indignant with me and said he knew what was best and he had been prescribing this to everyone. Well wake up and smell the Cafecito doctor! That ain't me, I'm just not following the flock, I am the doctor of my own health.

I'm all about doing your research, this is your life, this is your body, this is your ailment and you need to be involved and not just follow what the doctors prescribe or tell you. Listen, most of the doctors out here are going off of the drug companies reps that come in with the pretty girls in short skirts bearing gifts for them. They are there  to peddle their drug of the month and this is how it works, this is a 333 billion dollar business. Yes, you read that right 333 billion, with a capital B. 

Maybe, if these doctors are lucky they get five minutes of the highlights of the "new" drugs that they are trying to peddle before the pretty girls are off to the next office, peddling their goods there

Then there's so much on TV about ask your doctor about this prescription, or that prescription 

You've seen the ads "Ask your doctor if is right for you"

Why are you asking your doctor what is right for you? Vecause these million dollar ads tell you too?

 These drug companies are only out for their bottom lines and they do not care about you or your disease. Most of these drugs that they're trying to peddle have more side effects than what you actually have.

Listen if you can to the announcer at the end that talks a hundred miles per hour and he will tell you this may cause your leg to fall off, may cause you to go blind, grow another ear, glow in the dark but your thinking I only have a rash? Now my leg is going to fall off? Wtf?

No one seems to take a stance against these drug companies because it is big money and no one has enough balls to do it. Every other country has a cap on what drug companies can charge but us, why is that? Because we are corrupt that's why.

The doctors in this country have put the whole country under a drug induced fog, they are  prescribing painkillers like they are aspirin not to mention all the other drugs that we don't need. 

I remember when my girls were younger and the drug companies had cane out with the shot for "ovarian cancer"  I refuse to let my girls get that shot because they are not guinea pigs for the government.

I told my pediatrician that if the drug had been on the market for longer than 15 or 20 years and I knew that there was no side effects then maybe then I would think about it. Until then I'm not going to give my girls a shot that maybe in three years they might grow another ear from because the FDA was so fast push this through because the drug companies gave them so much money in their pockets, this is the reality so wake up people!!

We need to be our own advocates, we need to know what is going in these medicines that are going in our bodies. Do not blindly follow these doctors because they have letters after their names, you must be your own advocate, you must do your own research, you  need to know what is the drug and how long these drugs have been on the market and what the side effects are. We must look for healthy alternatives, change of lifestyle, more excise, eating better or combined the best of both worlds with Eastern and Western medicine but do not just blindly take what some doctor who is overworked and underpaid seeing a hundred patients a day is handing you.

So today my friends remember, just because they are doctors does not make them God, this is your health, this is your life and you are entitled to know exactly how best to take care of yourself, do not just follow the flock."Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise 

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