#people kind of hate how seimei's arc progresses but i think it's really interestingggggggggggg

[soubiapologist]

anyway seimei can't succeed in his plans because of nisei. the whole "soulmates" thing, it's like...... who is seimei's ideal type of person? someone who is, essentially, a victim. someone who is isolated and self isolates and is easy to take advantage of and manipulate. nisei talks big shit but he's more ineffectual at things than seimei, he's in a constant failure state BECAUSE he is so beholden to seimei, he can't do anything for himself. honestly i think nisei's ideal type of person is, for all intents and purposes, seimei; someone powerful that he can abdicate responsibility to. nisei to me is clearly a person with a low self esteem and a lot of self loathing, i think we've all met this kind of person who has been mistreated in various ways and over time they've come to think of themselves as like. a sicko. a weirdo. someone unfixable and only loveable for their negative traits because that's all they can see in themselves and they become really invested in this narrative they've built of themselves as this like. disgusting person. a weirdo. if you will. your prototypical edgelord taken to the logical extreme fueled by mental illness to the point where they believe they are so unworthy of love that they glom on to like. the first person who will validate this world view because they're insecure and are desperate for that validation. honestly i don't believe nisei and soubi to be very different characters, the difference is mostly that soubi is at least TRYING to unpack all that and trying to take responsibility whereas nisei is trying to abdicate responsibility to seimei. when mimuro talks about the mask nisei wears and him wanting someone he can "be himself with" i think he's talking about something different than anything we see directly depicted of nisei, he's not talking about the violent tendencies, he's not talking about the Normal College Student facade, he's talking about the insecure mess that's desperate for validation and willing to give up all individuality to just be accepted. i do think nisei has violent tendencies/impulses but i think they're due to some form of mental illness or trauma reaction or possibly just intrusive thoughts that he's deeply internalized and i think he is ashamed of that and that drives him to isolate himself from other people because of it, and he wants someone to understand, and, unfortunately, the person he finds who understands doesn't want to help him process those feelings in a healthy way, it's someone who wants to take advantage of him and them, and nisei is fine with this because again, he wants to abdicate responsibility for things that were, from what we know, up to the point he met seimei, just thoughts. i almost wonder if nisei has ocd because of the way ocd can give you these vile repulsive thoughts that make you hate yourself and speaking from experience you do not necessarily realize where those thoughts are coming from or that they are just thoughts-- the delusions that come from ocd feel VERY very real and i've seen people REALLY internalize these things. ocd is also frequently the result of trauma, and while we don't really know nisei's backstory beyond a handful of things, it wouldn't surprise me if he had something pretty..... series typical, but that's pure speculation at this point.

anyway, my original point being that seimei's success depends on having a fighter who doesn't suck at everything, but since seimei's ideal person is the type of person who can't do anything without him and is thus like. fucking incompetent, seimei's plans, whatever they may be, are doomed to failure because seimei is the type of person who takes advantage of others THANK YOUUUU for coming to my ted talk