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milla-frenchy · 3 months ago

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In the cold night

3k1 | Joel Miller x fem reader | ao3 | Masterlist

Summary: being on patrol, Joel and you spend the cold winter night together in a small house

Warnings: 18+ mdni. mention of a past SA attempt (not by Joel), protective!joel, feral!joel saving reader, friends to lovers, one bed, soft!joel, praise kink, masturbation (f), thighs rubbing, oral (f), piv. No age specified

a/n: this is written for @justagalwhowrites 's “Joel Miller birthday celebration”. I chose Jackson!Joel/one bed- Thank you for this event 🙏 Thank you @arcanefox207 for the gif in the mood board ❤️ Please, check out the full gif here and some others, they are stunning 😍 Thank you, Ally 🙏❤️ @aurorawritestoescape thank you as always for beta-ing, baby 💕🫶 dividers @saradika-graphics 🙏

The crunch of your footsteps in the snow echoes in your head. Two rabbits are hanging from Joel’s back, clinging to his shoulder. His brown jacket has lost its shine long, long time ago, and the leather is frayed at the elbows and sleeves. Every time you pass him, the smell of old leather rushes into your nostrils. A reassuring, familiar scent.

You’re heading to an outpost, as you have done so many times before. You know each other's reflexes by heart, the way your bodies tense in case of danger, the glances that make speech useless. You no longer count the number of infected you have killed during patrols.

You look around a small wooden house. Searching for footprints, anything that might put you on alert. You scan the area, whether for infected, or worse- hunters or raiders.

You feel safe with Joel, ever since the day he snatched you from the hands of raiders. Two dirty, skinny men. They surprised you, during one of your first long patrols. They knocked Joel out, and dragged you on an old mattress of the shelter you just arrived at. They did not even pay attention to the dead duck that you planned to eat that evening. In this world, with some men, food is not the first thing they crave.

You punched one of them, then tried to grab your knife, but two men were too much to handle. When they threw you onto the mattress, you struggled, screaming, biting, then one held your arms while the other removed your pants. Tears obstructed your view. You would have preferred to be bitten by an infected, rather than that.

Just as the first man was about to lie down between your thighs while you were crying with rage, you heard a dull, cold, unexpected noise. A knife thrown from the opposite side of the room, just stuck in the skull of the man, holding your arms. As soon Joel threw the knife, he rushed to rip the man off your body, and then punched him so many times that his face got swollen from the blows and turned unrecognizable.

“Piece o’shit!” Joel growled from the depths of his chest. You looked at him, still half in shock at what had almost happened to you, feeling relieved. The man was lying on the ground, barely breathing. Joel let go of his collar and retrieved the knife from the second man’s skull. He pressed the tip of the blade against his heart and slowly pushed it in, his dark gaze fixed on the man’s. The raider’s feet twitched for a few moments, before they froze for eternity.

Then Joel rushed over to you and covered you with an old blanket pulled from the foot of the bed. As soon as he sat down on the mattress, his worried eyes fixed on you, you wrapped your arms around his waist. Wanting to forget your fear, to curl up against his reassuring presence. He took you in his arms, rocking you slowly, holding you close to him.

“ ‘m sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear them coming, because of my damn bad ear.”

“It’s ok, Joel, it’s ok. They didn’t do anything to me,” you muffled in his chest.

“No it’s not. They did way too much. But I got you, now. I got you. Won’t happen again. Not on my watch.”

He held you against him for several minutes, patiently, one hand caressing your back, the other resting on the nape of your neck, until you stopped crying. He then asked if you were feeling a little better, if he could get the bodies out of the outpost. He didn’t want you to see them anymore. You nodded, watched him as he dragged the bodies out into the surrounding woods.

He was sitting next to you until you fell asleep. He stood guard all night, staring at the shadows of the trees through the window, letting you rest.

From that day on, you knew that nothing would happen to you as long as you were with Joel. He was the type of man who, when he said something, stuck to it. He was reliable, loyal, and serious. He was your patrol partner, and you couldn't have asked for a better one.

Once you reach the shelter, you prepare the fire in the hearth of the old fireplace, while Joel goes around this old house, half buried under the snow. It is the first time that you patrol here in the middle of winter, and the walls and the ground are icy. You eat one of the rabbits, trying in vain to warm yourself by the fire. As you get ready to go to bed, Joel puts a blanket on the floor.

“What are you doing, Joel? You can't sleep there. You're gonna freeze and die, it’s too cold!”

“There's only one bed, sweetheart. Ain't gonna sleep with you.”

“Of course you're gonna sleep with me. Come on, Joel, don't be silly. We can share the bed, we have to keep each other warm or the next patrol will find our two skeletons in this damn house.”

“Jesus, you’re so stubborn! Alright then.”

You smile, thinking that you had never met someone as stubborn as him, and if he hadn't noticed your slightly blue lips, he probably wouldn't have changed his mind.

You undress and slip under the thin blankets, wearing your t-shirt and panties. Grimacing at the contact with the cold and damp covers. He joins you in the small bed, and even though warmth radiates from his body, your teeth still chatter.

“Christ, you're freezing. C’mere, I’ll keep you warm,” he says, as you take off your t-shirt and he discards his too, leaving only his boxers.

“Told you we had to sleep in the same damn bed… and I'm the stubborn one?”

He chuckles, and takes you in his arms, his chest pressed against your back.

“Better, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, you’re as warm as a boiler. How is that possible? Icicles are practically falling off these blankets.”

“Alright, you’re exaggerating a bit, don’t you think?”

You scoff and muffle a laugh, then fall asleep.

You wake up during the night, Joel's light snoring in your ear. His arms are still around you and you're much less cold. His scent surrounds you. You shift slightly, putting the blanket that had slipped back on both of you. The movement makes him mumble in his sleep and you smile, getting ready to fall back asleep, until you feel him twitch against you. His cock, asleep until then, has just woken up in his boxers when your ass brushed against it.

You open your eyes suddenly. It’s been a long time since you felt a body- a hard cock - against you. You try to move away from him a little, to not wake him up, to not create awkwardness between you. But he holds you tighter against him, letting out a sigh of contentment when his cock finds its place against your ass again.

You get a rush of arousal and you're not sure if you'll be able to fall back asleep. Your walls are contracting painfully, calling for a release of the pressure from your crotch. You close your eyes, placing your hand under the pillow. Trying to think of something else, until his cock jerks again. Once, twice. There’s no way you’re gonna be able to fall back asleep.

So you think that maybe, if you do it discreetly, you can make yourself come. Even though he's lying against you, his chest against your back.

You slide your hand south, slowly, so as not to wake him, and start brushing your swollen folds through your panties. But it's not enough. You slide your hand under the hem, finally whirling your clit under your finger. Joel growls against your ear and you freeze for a few moments, until his breathing becomes calm, steady. Gently, you stroke yourself, finally starting to feel the fire in your crotch calm down a little.

You vaguely feel his nose brush your hair, not paying much attention to it, thinking he does it in his sleep. Then you feel his hand slowly slide down your arm, and you jerk, hastily removing your fingers from your panties, realizing that Joel is awake and that he has caught you.

“It’s ok, sweetheart,” he whispers softly in your ear in his sleepy voice, taking your hand and gently bringing it back to your pussy.

You feel the heat reach your cheeks and think about getting up, but you're too ashamed to face him. There had never been any sexual tension between the two of you. You're what you could call friends, in this lost world. You trust each other, he told you about Sarah, you told him about your late husband and son. You trust each other, and honestly, you never thought about him as more than a friend. And you don't want to ruin your friendship.

“I just want you to feel good.”

You stay silent for a few moments. Thinking about what he's telling you. You know he's sincere.

You feel your clit pulsing and you bite your lip.

“Ok, Joel,” you breathe out.

You're unsure of what will happen between the two of you after, but you let him lead your hand and slide your fingers under your soaked panties. You're already moaning at the first touch and you feel your nipples hardening.

Delicately, the tips of his fingers pressed against yours, you let him lead the dance and travel through your folds. Then he slides both your hands into your panties, and makes you touch yourself so delicately, as if you were the most fragile thing in the world, that new moans escape you.

“Keep going, Joel, please…”

He hums, grazing your ear with his nose. You hear his breathing deepen, then he presses his forehead against your shoulder blade, still using your finger to brush your clit. You feel your pussy dripping. The fact that he is using your fingers, so perfectly, is perhaps the most sensual thing you have ever done.

You feel his cock stuck in his boxers harden even more as he keeps touching you. You crave to feel him against you, without any fabric between your bodies. You forget your shyness, your reserve, your worries.

“Would you… pull down your boxers? So I can feel you?*

“Of course, sweetheart.” He lets go of your hand to pull down his underwear. His hard cock springs out and this time you feel it fully against you. Big, hard.

“Between my thighs, please…”

He kisses your back and grabs his cock, slides it into this tight space, then comes to rest against your fingers again, in your panties. You slowly move your pelvis back and forth, rubbing yourself against his shaft.

“Christ, sweetheart… Feeling you against me, like that…”

“I know, Joel. It’s… good, really good.”

You no longer remember your fear that this will change things between you. The feeling is too good, too powerful, to think about anything else.

His shaft slides easily between your thighs, your pussy soaking him continuously.

“You’re so wet for me, baby”, he whispers in your ear, and a new flow trickles from your walls. His free hand caresses your shoulder, then he kisses it. You feel his mustache brush your skin, and your moans fill the room.

“You’re gonna come for me, sweetheart?”

“Fuck… fuck yeah, I'm gonna come, Joel.”

He keeps playing with your fingers with the same rhythm, feeling that you are close. Your mind goes blank. You only think about the pressure growing inside you, ready to explode.

“Come on baby, be a good girl for me,” he murmurs.

The orgasm washes over you, and you arch your back under its power, your ass pressed against Joel’s crotch. “Always such a good girl for me,” he praises, holding you against him, your hand in his, until your jerks stop.

Your breathing slowly goes down. “Damn”, you say. “That was so hot.”

“It was,” he smiles, kissing your shoulder. He doesn't ask for more, doesn't put any pressure on you, but you need more. You need your bodies to be one. You don't think too much about it, then add quickly, “Joel… I need to…” before shyness overwhelms you again, and he asks softly “tell me, baby. What do you need?”

The soft tone of his voice reassures you, and you add “I need to feel you… I need to feel you inside me.”

“Turn around, sweetheart. Lemme look at you.”

You do as he says, and face him. You barely see his face in the darkness of the night. Just enough to perceive the intensity in his gaze, behind his usual sweetness with you, as he strokes your cheek gently with his thumb.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod, of course. Ready to take whatever he wants to give you. His warm lips land on yours and press against them. You hear him take a deep breath, then his nose rubs yours. He kisses you again, with more intensity, and sensations you thought forgotten forever jostle throughout your whole being. His tongue tastes your lips, then slides between them and finds yours. He moans as your hand grabs his shaft softly, wet with his precum and your desire. You jerk him off slowly as you continue to make out. He's big. So big. But you don't wonder if your body can accept it, after all this time. You know it will. And you know Joel will be soft. You nestle his cock at your entrance after pushing your panties aside, murmuring “I wanna feel you,” your forehead against his.

You tilt your pelvis forward and his tip slides inside you, making you hold your breath for a few moments.

“You’re ok?”

“Yeah. I just have to… get used to it.”

He doesn’t move and lets you handle the rhythm. You kiss him again, and you feel your pussy dripping, eager to be filled. You put your hand on the back of his neck and squeeze his bicep with the other, sliding further down his shaft. Your walls spread as you glide on his tip and again, you feel that forgotten feeling. Your breasts are pressed against his chest, nipples tense. Your hand runs through his neck, and you feel his prominent veins under your fingers.

“Oh my god,” you whine, when he is fully inside you. You pull back then push forward again, to reassure his worried eyes on you. You are so wet that the sounds echo in your ears and the whole room. Joel holds you against him, gently, sensually. One hand on your hip, the other on your back.

“Joel?” you ask.

“Tell me, sweetheart.”

“Can you lie down on me? I'd like to feel you deeper.”

He caresses your cheek and tells you yes, of course.

You lie on your back and he removes your panties, kneeling between your thighs.

And he looks at you, from your face to your cunt. "You're beautiful," he says. His stare stops there, then he glances at you. As if he was asking you silently if he could taste you. You nod and he settles between your thighs, spreading your folds with his fingers.

“You're so wet for me, baby,” he adds, before licking your pussy in a long stroke. Pointing his tongue at your clit, then running over your folds again. Your knees are bent, legs spread as wide as possible. His head moves between your offered thighs, your hands lost in his curls, while his tongue laps at your dripping pussy. He pushes two fingers in your core, and places his lips around your clit, sucking it. Then swirls it under his tongue, while his fingers thrust in at a perfect, regular pace.

“Joel,” you whimper. “I'm gonna come again.”

Your nails tighten on his scalp as you come on his tongue, your walls squeezing uncontrollably around his two fingers. He pulls them out and replaces them with his tongue, drinking in everything that flows from you. The feeling is so strong, forgotten for so long, that you feel like you're going to burst into tears. But he stops, careful not to overwhelm you, and lies down between your thighs. He places his hand on your cheek and searches for your eyes before pushing his tip into you with his other hand, eyes lowered to you.

“Damn sweetheart,” he breathes. “You feel so good around me.”

His words envelop you and lull you. His voice is low, calm, as slow and sweet as the rhythm in which he sinks into you.

All his weight is on you and you have never felt so safe in your entire life. His arms surround you as you kiss. Your hands roam the top of his body. His arms, his shoulders, his back, his cheeks, his neck. His cock slides inside you, pushing your walls in the most perfect way with each thrust. Your knees are spread wide to welcome him between your thighs. He straightens up, leaning on one hand, and looks at you. Looks into your eyes filled with desire.

He watches your neck throbbing. Your chest heaving.

He watches where his cock is digging into you.

“I'm not gonna last. Can you give me one more, baby?”

“Yeah, it's... yes.”

He lies back on you, eyes locked on yours, and slides his arms under your shoulders. Your hot, sweaty chests rub against each other. He doesn't take his eyes off you as he thrusts into you, his shaft rubbing exactly where you need it. Your fingers dig into his flesh as you come on his shaft and he stops moving. Eager to keep watching you twitch beneath him, but trying not to come too. Not yet, not inside you. He wants to let you come until the shaking stops.

He looks at you, and focuses on a mole, chosen at random. To focus on something else, than your pussy perfectly squeezing him. When your trembling finally stops, he grabs his cock hastily, just in time before his cum coats the inside of your thighs and your lower stomach, then his heavy body rests against yours.

“Christ, sweetheart… that was amazing,” he says, smiling at you. You kiss and then nestle against his chest. You feel his heart beat hard, then gradually calm down. You fall asleep without even realizing it.

When you wake up, it’s daylight. The smell of coffee rushes into your nostrils. For a moment, it’s like life is almost normal.

You sit up in bed, holding the blanket against you.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” he says. Smiling, warm. Joel.

You smile back at him, thinking that you would like to wake up next to him every single day, from now on.

Thank you for reading 🙏

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marvelwitchergilmore · 7 days ago

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Trust In Battle Scars

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> Even if you haven't always liked Joel, you've trusted him. And he's trusted you.

Disclaimer: Heavy smut, mentions of battle scars, blood, being buried alive, torture and murder (Joel hurts bad guys), swearing throughout. This is an 18+ so MDNI. Angst and fluff spread throughout. Joel takes care of Reader, maybe unlikely friends-to-lovers. Long fic. Not Proof Read.

Joel kicked the door open once more with his foot as he helped you inside, Tommy already inside throwing things away from the sofa to let you sit down.

“Joel, I’m fine. Honestly.”

“You’re hurt and bleeding. You’re fine, my ass.”

He helped you onto the sofa before he stood back, propped his gun up by the wall and started to take off his jacket. “Ellie, go and get the-”

She appeared by his side, the first aid kit already in hand. “Here.”

“Hot water from the kettle.”

“On it!”

You held onto your side, feeling the blood slowly soaked your clothes. “I’m fine. You don’t need to make a fuss. I’ve survived through worse.”

But Joel was already on his knees, rolling up his sleeves and opening up the kit beside him on the floor.

“If I let you out of my sight, you’d just let this fester until you collapsed.”

You shook your head. “No I wouldn’t. I’d clean it myself.”

Through the front door, Tommy, Maria and a couple of others who had been there to see you get hurt came through the door just as Ellie came back inside with a large bowl of hot water before running upstairs to go and get fresh towels.

Joel reached out for the hem of your top but you recoiled back. “No…I’m okay.”

Looking around, Maria was asking her husband a thousand questions and the others were staring at where the blood was soaking your shirt and hands.

He looked between you and everyone else before yelling; “Everyone out!”

“Towels.” Ellie placed them by his side.

“Ellie, get everyone out.”

She took what Joel asked seriously. Turning on her heel, she started ushering people outside.

“Ellie?”

She looked back from the door.

“Keep ‘em out.”

She gave Joel a mock salute before closing the front door behind her and Joel sat back on his heels, his hands on his hips. His voice sounded less hurried when he spoke again.

“They’re gone. They can’t see from here.”

You were weary but slowly started to remove your jacket, Joel helping pull it from your arms before reaching for the hem of your top.

“Think I’m gonna need your help.” Joel just nodded and helped you anyway. Lifting the t-shirt over your head, he took in your body. Under any other context the thoughts at the back of his head would be at the front. But he was too concerned with the hole in your abdomen to think about much else.

Across your body there were different sized scars. A couple bullet wounds that had healed over the last couple of months, if not years. Gashes – some were deeper than others but they’d healed over. There were a couple of fresh grazes on your stomach from where you’d fallen afterwards, but they’d heal on their own.

“This is gonna hurt.” He couldn’t lie to you.

You nodded in understanding. “I know. But I trust you.”

But I trust you.

That was something you’d been telling him since you met him. Even if you hadn’t gotten along the best, you’d always trusted him. When you first got shot, you hadn’t told anyone. You’d kept it to yourself all day, but Joel had noticed you twitching and hissing each time you hiked your pack higher on your back. So, by the time night fell and the others said you’d gone to bed, he’d gone looking for you.

He found you by the river bed, biting on your lip to keep yourself from crying out in pain. The bullet was still there.

You’d flinched when you heard his boots on the rocks of the riverbank, but he held his hands up. “Relax, it’s just me.”

He didn’t say anything else for a while, just walked closer to you before sitting on a rock beside you and holding up a light.

“Hold this.” He told you before taking a look for himself. You and Joel, at that point, had probably shared two sentences at most since first meeting.

“Yeah, it’s still there. You able to stay still?”

You nodded nervously.

Joel just nodded. “Okay. This is gonna hurt so…take a breath.”

You did so and the next two minutes were the most painful you’d ever experienced outside of being sung the Happy Birthday song.

Joel pulled it out and pressed a bound cloth to your shoulder before reaching down into the small pack he’d brought with him. Holding up a small needle and thread, he went to stitch you up but then faltered.

You just nodded. “I trust you.”

He took that as enough confirmation to continue. By the time he finished, he leaned forward and snapped away the rest of the thread with his teeth before washing the cloth in the river and cleaning away the blood from his hands and your shoulder. From there, he moved the strap of your top back up to help hold the gauze and tape in place.

After that day, watching Joel walk back up the stones and towards the smaller camp, you and him talked a little more. Until eventually you became friends. And out of everyone, you trusted him the most.

And you figured he felt the same about you considering you were the only one he’d let touch him after he got cut. He’d assured Tommy he was okay, he’d yelled at Tess telling her he was fine, and everyone else had been warned away with a look.

But that didn’t work with you. He wished it did, but it didn’t.

You’d opened his apartment door, finding Tess and Tommy stood outside. Tess was growing more and more annoyed and Tommy was looking like he’d been punched in the gut.

You didn’t have to ask them what happened, you just walked inside and for as much as they wanted to follow you inside, they didn’t. The door closed behind you and you found Joel standing inside the bathroom in front of the mirror trying to clean up his wound.

“What the hell happened?”

Joel found you looking at him through the mirror. “Nothin’.”

“Sure as hell doesn’t look like nothin’.” You marched into the bathroom to get a better look as he tried to swat you away. “You need stitches.”

“I can do it myself.”

“Go and sit down. I’ll do ‘em.”

You watched as Joel went to open his mouth to say something, so you took the cloth out of his hands and stood back. “Joel Miller, so help me god, you go and sit your ass on that sofa before I kick you into next week.”

It took him a moment, but he sighed. Anyone else would have backed down when he maintained their eye contact, but not you.

“You know, I’m meant to be the patient here. Aren’t nurses meant to have a nice bedside manner?” He asked you as he walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa.

You laughed as you ran the tap to clear the blood from the cloth before marching across the apartment and into the kitchen towards the kettle to boil some water.

“Luckily for you, I’m not your nurse.”

You kept looking over your shoulder to Joel on the sofa who lay back and closed his eyes, trying his best to breath through the pain. Once the kettle finally finished, you poured the water into a bowl before carrying it over to the coffee table.

“Lie down.”

Opening one of his eyes, Joel looked at you as you sat on the coffee table. You weren’t gonna budge.

“Lie down,” you repeated. And with a heavy sigh, he did as he was told.

From there, you lifted his top as far as you could get it before ringing out the cloth and shaking your hand to stop the burning.

You hesitated. “This might hurt so…take a deep breath.”

He did so as you pressed the cloth to his wound. A deep grunt came from his chest as his hand shot out and gripped onto your wrist. “Take it easy.”

Looking from his face, to his wound, you gave a small smirk. “The man everyone fears in Boston and yet he can’t take a little hot water.”

“Are you always this heavy handed?”

“You’re just sensitive to pain.”

“Why don’t we swap positions and see if it’s just me being sensitive to pain.”

You chuckled. “Alright, alright. I’ll be lighter.”

You dabbed at his wound once more and he finally lay his head back and closed his eyes. “Happy?”

Joel just let out a noise from the back of his throat so you continued the way you were. “What the hell even happened?”

“Some bastard came out of nowhere and took a swing at Tess.” Joel grunted through his explanation as you continued to clean his wound before sterilising the needle. “I shot at him but he seemed to get there before me.”

“You’re gonna have to apologise to her, by the way. She’s probably still pacing outside that door.”

“I know,” Joel admitted. “I’ve heard her since she slammed the door.”

“She’s your girlfriend, Joel.” He looked at you. “Or whatever the hell you want to call it. Look, just apologise. She’ll forgive you.” Then you gave him a small smile. “You got stabbed for her. She can’t stay mad at you.”

Joel let out a small scoff in a laugh. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“I’d say look away, but you’re gonna feel this anyway. So, countdown from ten?”

Joel nearly shot up. “From ten?”

But then you stuck the needle into him and he grabbed your wrist again, throwing his head back. “What happened to ten?”

“Surprise, I guess.”

“Surprise, she says. As if she’s not sticking a fucking needle into my skin.”

You rolled your eyes. “Quit whining. I didn’t complain this much when you did it.”

Joel grunted again and squeezed your wrist. “Just…take it easy.”

You did so and eventually you finished, wrapping the thread around your finger and pulling until it snapped. You cleaned the wound once more before shocking him and pouring a little alcohol over the top.

He shot up when you did that and found a smile on your face as you screwed the cap back onto the bottle. “Now apologise to Tess.”

You stood and made your way towards the door.

“Y/n.”

You looked back before opening the door. “Thank you,”

You nodded with a small smile. “Anytime, Miller.”

Opening the door, you told Tess he’d live before heading back to work.

There were more moments like that over the years, but the more scars you gathered, the more questions that would get asked by those closest to you. But out of everyone, you trusted Joel. He never asked questions. Frankly, he already knew the stories to each of your scars having been the one to patch them up in the first place.

So when you said you trusted Joel, you meant it.

Kneeling up, he warned you before he pressed the cloth to your side where you groaned and gripped onto his shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay. I’m okay. I trust you.”

Joel just nodded and continued what he was doing. Every now and again he’d feel your nails dig into his shirt as he cleaned your wound before he had to stitch it up.

“Just a little longer.”

You forced a hum to let him know you heard him.

“Wanna lie down?”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t wanna move.”

“Can you lean back for me?”

It took you a moment, but you nodded.

“Okay.” Joel guided you back carefully, his eyes on you as yours remained shut tight. “Take it easy. That’s it. This is gonna hurt.”

You shook your head. “Just do it. I trust you.”

Joel nodded even though you couldn’t see him. So, guiding your hand back to his arm, he held it down firmly. “When it hurts, just squeeze.”

“Joel, it’s a needle. It’s gonna hurt.”

“You trust me?” You listened to his question before nodding. “Then just squeeze. This is a deep one. It’s gonna take me a while.”

“Okay.”

As Joel inserted the needle, your body reacted, pushing up and gripping onto his shoulder. You tried your best to take deep breaths, listening to Joel’s voice as he told you where he was at, how close he was to finishing.

“Just one more, okay?”

“Okay.”

Leaning over, Joel cut the threat with this teeth once more before leaning back, keeping his eyes on you to make sure yours were still closed before he poured out a little alcohol onto a dry cloth.

“Take a deep breath.”

“Why?”

Joel pressed it to your wound and you sat up, your eyes going wide before shutting. Leaning forward into him, your hand gripped his shoulder tightly. He was sure to have bruises on his arm later on but if it meant you got through your pain, he’d live with them happily.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Please tell me it’s done.”

Joel nodded. “All done. But you’re gonna need a shower. Think you’ve dragged half of the forest back with you.” There was a lightness in Joel's tone, you only wished you could feel it in yourself more.

Standing up, Joel threw everything into a pile before holding his hands out. “Come on, let’s go.”

It took ten minutes but eventually Joel got you to the bathroom and started the shower for you.

“Think you’ll be okay?”

You nodded. “Should be. Thank you.”

Joel made his way out of the door, leaving it open a crack. “I’ll be outside the door if you need me, so just…call out.”

You nodded, thanking him once more before getting undressed and stepping into the shower. You watched as the water went from clear to filled with old blood, new blood, mud, dirt, a few leaves from inside your hair and eventually back to clear after you got completely clean.

Once you’d towel dried your hair, you wrapped another around your body, you stepped out of the bathroom after standing in the middle of it for a moment, so many thoughts running around your head, none of them were clear enough to remember.

Then you found Joel. He’d been sitting on the top step outside the bathroom door. He stood quickly and took a breath. He didn’t say anything; he didn’t have to. But when you took a step closer to him, you were mere seconds away from him stepping towards you and wrapping you in his arms.

A hand in your wet hair, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head whilst his other hand held you against his body. “Thank you for helping me.”

“I’ll always help you.”

After a moment, you stepped back and nodded, wiping your eyes before he could see. But he’d already caught them. Extending his hand out to you, he brushed his thumb under your eye.

“Come on, I left you some clothes in the spare room.”

You followed Joel towards the spare bedroom where he left you to get dressed. And once you were, you walked downstairs where you found Joel heating up some soup in the kitchen.

“Ellie’s gonna stay at Tommy’s tonight.” Joel told you. “And you’re gonna stay here.”

“There’s enough room for Ellie to be here, too, Joel.”

He nodded as he placed a bowl of soup in front of you. “I know. But she’s an eavesdropper and I want the truth. This way, it stays between me and you.”

You knew it was a shit lie when you told him as much when you’d all met back up at the bottom of the hill. If it had been just the others, you could have hidden it well enough so they wouldn’t have noticed. But not with Joel.

He was right through you. And he saw right through the lie.

“It’s nothing, Joel.”

“Bullshit.”

“Can we at least eat before you start the interrogation?”

Joel eventually agreed. And so you ate in silence. Until you couldn’t take it anymore and hoped to distract him for a while. So, you asked about Ellie. About her school and her homework. You asked about his jobs working down by the gardens digging up new space for some more allotments.

Before you knew it, the sun had long been set and you and Joel were sitting on the sofa just talking. Until finally a silence settled over you both and Joel’s hand came to your leg.

“You’re gonna have to tell me sooner or later. Unless you really want to know how loud Ellie snores?”

“I really do.”

“Y/n.”

You took in a breath and sighed before sitting up straight. “Okay. But, you have to make a deal with me.”

Joel smiled a little. “I have to make a deal with you?”

You were being serious. “Yes. You can’t fly off the handle and it can’t leave this room between me and you. Promise me you won’t do anything.”

Joel got worried and then silent.

“Promise me,” you pressed.

“I promise.”

With a sigh, you started to explain. “It’s stupid really. It was before I met you and the others. I was travelling with this group towards Cincinnati. I’d met one of the guys one night and we…got close.”

“Got close?”

You rolled your eyes. “We were fucking, Joel. It wasn’t anything serious. Just a way to let off some steam. In fact it had been his idea to keep things casual. Anyway, one night a few of his friends wanted to raid this place. I had a bad feeling about it but…I went anyway. Turns out the place was FEDRA owned. So, I told them what I thought and walked away. I didn’t want to be another casualty for them. Pretty sure the only reason I’d lived so long is because I was someone’s girl.”

“What was his name? The guy you were…”

“Fucking?”

Joel nodded his head. “Trevor, or Travis. Something like that. We didn’t exactly do much talking and this was over ten years ago. Anyway, that night I walked. Packed up what I had to my name, and left. A couple months later, I found an old farmhouse. It was in the middle of nowhere. No infected. For a while, I thought I’d been followed but when no windows busted in the middle of the night, I finally relaxed.”

“Except, when I woke up in the morning, I heard footsteps. I had been followed, just not by infected. His friends, they’d spotted me by pure fucking chance outside another town and followed me. Guess it got too dark to continue following so they pitched out in the woods for the night.”

Joel sat up. “What did they want?”

“Apparently after I left them, Trevor, or Travis – he’d followed after me. Said he’d make me see sense. Only, he got chased by an infected somewhere outside the city. They blamed me for his death. Wanted revenge.”

“Did they…”

You shook your head but stood up and lifted the hem of your t-shirt which just so happened to Joel’s, before pushing down the band of your shorts. Carefully, Joel reached out and kept your shorts out of the way so you didn’t hurt yourself any more than you already had.

His fingers were warm against your skin.

“No, but they did get two slugs into me before I sent them limping away with their own bullets in their legs.”

Joel looked up at you before he dropped his hand, and you sat back down.

“What does this have to do with today?”

“Remember your promise to me?”

Joel nodded.

“Two of his friends are here in town.”

Joel went to stand but you kept your hand on his arm. “Joel. Don’t. It wasn’t them. They’ve got nothing to do with this. At least, nothing I can prove, anyway.”

“What’s that supposed-”

“Someone’s set up trip wires around my grid. I usually go further than we’re meant to on patrol. No-one else covers my grid, so someone has been watching me. At the very least, they’ve been asking questions. Must have tripped a wire and it threw out a knife.”

Joel took a breath. “Does anyone else know? About before Boston?”

You shook your head. “It was a long time ago. And to be honest, when I saw them, they didn’t seem to recognise me.”

“You can’t just go off that.”

“I know, but I have to take my chances.”

“What if they-”

You shook your head. “They won’t. I made sure of that. Once I hit the ground, I found all of their wires. Easier to see, I guess when you’re laid faced to the ground.”

You chuckled a little at that, remembering army crawling through the forest to pull all the wires and watching the blades fall flat to the floor. But that was a bad idea.

“Take it easy. You probably need new bandages.”

Joel stood and walked towards the desk drawer before pulling out some fresh ones.

“I’ll stand.”

Joel sat down on the sofa as you stood between his legs, lifting your t-shirt so he could unravel the old one.

You hissed and he apologised. He was meticulous in unwrapping your bandages, being careful to not aggravate your wounds anymore than they already had been. And for a moment, his hand ghosted over your belly, his thumb tracing back and forth before he gripped onto your hip securely.

“Joel…”

Looking up at you, Joel watched as you leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. He continued watching you as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your stomach, before pressing a few more to each wound, graze and finally the healing one on your side.

You let out a shaking breath, your hand coming to the nape of his neck, your fingers running through the strands of his hair.

Leaning back, his thumb brushed back and forth on your hip where he could feel the goosebumps popping up across your skin.

Leaning down, leaving his hand on the back of your thigh to hold you still, he reached for the fresh bandage.

“Lift your top.”

You did as he instructed and felt his fingers dance across your skin as he slowly wrapped the new bandage around your middle, being sure to keep it crossed over each other until finally he tucked it securely into place.

His fingers wrapping around your hands, he let you lower your top as he stood, his body mere inches from you. You could see his chest getting tighter as he tried to control his breathing. Then you felt one of his hands trail up your body, your arm and finally settle at your neck, his fingers digging into the nape of your neck, whilst his other hand pulled you closer by your waist.

Any control you had over your breathing was long gone out of the window.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

Your voice felt too loud for how close you both stood, even if it did come out as a whisper. But you could still feel Joel’s hands fixed on your body, his palms moulding to each of your curves.

“No, we shouldn’t.”

You could feel your breathing getting heavier. You forced yourself to catch it before you swallowed, starting to lean up on your toes as you held onto Joel for dear life.

“One of us needs to walk away.” Joel told you. But you shook your head.

“Don’t walk away. Don’t walk away.” Then you kissed him.

Pulling him down, you landed back on your feet, Joel’s mouth hot on yours. Then his palms were under your ass, lifting you before your legs wrapped around his hips. With one hand firm under your ass, his other pushed your hair back from your face before he walked across to the cabinet behind you before he sat you down on it and had both of his hands in your hair, both of you becoming deaf to the back of the dresser that hit the wall.

Once again, Joel’s hands were on your hips pulling you closer until your legs wrapped around him once more. Then his mouth moved. It moved from your own, across your jaw and down your neck. Leaning away, your breathing became ragged as he found your pulse under his tongue. You were pretty sure by morning you’d have a large hickey as a blaring reminder of what pleasure Joel could just give with his mouth on your neck.

Once Joel seemed satisfied with his work along your neck and jaw, he returned his mouth to yours where he only got a taste for more of you. From there, his hands ran through your hair until they finally got to the end of your shirt. Pulling it from under your ass, he pushed his hands underneath and carefully lifted it up your body before he broke the kiss and moved back to help you take it off.

His mouth was back on yours in a second and the t-shirt you’d been wearing was thrown somewhere else in the room before you started tearing at the buttons on his shirt. Taking a little too long, Joel moved back and started undoing the bottom ones himself as you worked on the top ones.

Once they were undone, he pulled the shirt off with your help before joining the t-shirt. His hand was back in your hair, pulling your mouth back to his. Nipping, licking and kissing your skin, he trailed his mouth back down your neck and across your collarbone whilst his hands unhooked your bra from the back.

“So fucking beautiful,” his deep voice groaned before he pressed a kiss to the bow of your breast and lifted you from the dresser and carried you back to the sofa.

Joel was careful when he lay you down on the sofa before he climbed above you, his knee slipping in between your legs. With one of your boobs in his palm, his fingers lightly pinched at your nipple as he kissed the corner of your mouth. A gasp left you and Joel smirked before watching you as he lowered himself down your body and wrapped his mouth around it, licking and sucking gently, hearing small moans escape your mouth.

At the curve of your breast, he nipped at the skin a little before dampening the sting with his tongue and sucking just like he did at your neck.

“Joel,” you moaned.

Looking up at you from the bow of your breast, he pressed feather-like kisses. “Like that, baby?”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, feeling his tongue slip over your other nipple whilst his other hand travelled down the length of your body before hiking your thigh up so your leg wrapped around him.

“Y-yes.”

You moaned again when you felt the hardness of him on your thigh.

With his tongue trailing back up your chest before his hand cupped your cheek, finally allowing you to kiss him again, his tongue slipping inside of your mouth, tasting everything he could, his knee shifted.

So grinding down, you took what you could. You could feel Joel smirk against your mouth. That fucker.

“You want me already, Darlin’?”

Your breath became heavy in your chest and for a moment, Joel took in the sight of you. Plump lips from his kiss, growing hickies along your neck…

“You better plan on fucking me, Miller.”

Joel chuckled. “I plan on more than that, Darlin’.”

The way he looked at you in that moment, his eyes trailing your body, he looked like a man starved. And someone had finally put a meal in front of him.

Slowly moving down your body, Joel’s hands eventually found your shorts and unfastened them before pulling them down your legs as you lifted your ass.

Then he sat back, his hands stroking your thighs. “Fuck, baby.”

“Joel, please.”

Even just the thought of what he was about to do was turning you on. If he planned on doing anything like what he already had been doing with his tongue…

You moaned.

Joel chuckled. “Since you asked so nicely.”

You let out a small squeal as he pulled you a little further down the sofa and pushed your thighs a little wider and further up. Then he took his time. His mouth kissing the inside of your thigh, taking extra time for the gash that rounded your thigh.

Usually, anyone else who had gotten this far with you took one look at the scar and..stopped.

But not Joel.

“Fucking beautiful.”

Then he looked at you and for a moment his eyes softened before he pressed a softer kiss to the scar. It was only for a moment, but for you it felt like the whole world, because after that, he only continued.

Kissing, sucking, licking, worshipping, loving your body in a way no other man had ever done. The scars didn’t turn him off or make him stop. The grazes didn’t make him falter in his want for you. In fact, he only added to them. But they were a lot more pleasurable to gain than your others.

Finally, his thumb dipped under your panties, stroking through your slickness. “Fuck, your wet.”

Rushing back towards you, Joel’s mouth was on yours as his thumb parted the lips of your pussy before began circling your clit with a light pressure.

Your moan was swallowed by his kiss.

As you began to grind against his hand, Joel chased his own pleasure, too.

“Fuck, baby.” Joel moaned into your ear.

“Fuck, Joel.” You chased the feeling of his fingers, your body flexing under his. “Fuck.” You gasped, your hand gripping onto his bicep.

“You’re so wet.”

Looking down from your shoulder, Joel removed his hand for a moment hearing you whimper but his own joined yours as he buried his face into your hair after seeing your wetness coat his fingers.

Again, he was moving down your body, slowly pulling each side of your panties down your hips, his tongue tracing where they were.

“Is this okay?”

“Fuck, yes.”

Then he tasted you.

The moan he gave as he did so had you chasing the vibrations of his voice. You needed more of him. Bucking your hips, Joel’s tongue traced around your clit.

“Open wider for me, baby.”

With his help, you opened your thighs wider for him before he sucked at your clit. With a gasp of pleasure, you sat up and your hand fisted at the back of Joel’s hair. His hands were rough under your ass, pulling you closer to him.

Then his tongue entered you. His nose rubbing against your clit, Joel got a taste for all of you and if he wasn’t hooked before, he was now.

You moaned his name over and over as you chased the pressure of him against your clit. “Joel. Joel, please. Ah, fuck. Joel. I’m gonna- Joel!”

Feeling the sensation take over your body, Joel drank up every last bit of you. When he finally came back up for air, he licked the last of you from his fingers before he kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue.

“Hope you’re not tired, Darlin’, ‘cause I ain’t done with you yet.”

Pulling him closer to you, you kissed him again before you let him guide you into his lap. With your hands memorising every curve and muscle of him, your fingers started to undo his belt buckle before you finally got his jeans down his legs, as well as his underwear leaving him fully exposed to you.

Joel just admired you as you straddled his lap once more, his fingers digging into your flesh as you rocked forward against him.

With one hand already dancing across your skin, his other made its way back down to your core. Your arms over his shoulders, holding onto the back of the sofa, you leaned forward.

“How many do you want, baby?”

Joel already entered one and you gasped before sighing, rocking against him as his digit curled inside of you.

“One?”

He added another. “Or two?”

“Two.” A moan escaped you as he slowly pumped them inside of you and curled up. “Def…definitely two.”

As you rode Joel’s fingers, you could feel his cock in the side of your thigh, trying to leave it’s own bruise.

“Fuck, baby.”

Leaning down, you whispered into his ear. “Joel, I need more of you. I need you.”

There wasn’t much left for Joel to do other than guide himself into your entrance, his hands resting on your hips as he led you down the length of him inch by inch.

Joel pushed the hair from your face. “Slow and steady, baby. Otherwise we’re gonna have finished before we’ve started.”

You laughed a little, and so did Joel. “Don’t you mean ‘you’?”

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the only one with self control here, Darlin’.”

You cocked a brow. “Oh really?”

Joel nodded and hummed. So, taking his face in your hand you leaned closer to his lips.

“Maybe we’ve gotta do something about that.”

Taking a breath as you kissed him, Joel’s arms that had been resting on the back of the sofa started to tangle with your hair before moving to stimulate you in other places.

“Hold on to the back of the sofa.” Joel told you before one hand slipped between you both and started rounding your clit and the other held the side of your neck before fisting the bottom of your hair.

Then his mouth was everywhere. Licking, nipping, sucking – all whilst you rode his cock.

“Shit, you feel so good.” Joel told you as he started to push up and into you more, the sounds of sex filling the room.

Joel could feel you taking him in, your walls pulling him up as your slickness surrounded you both.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you swore. “Joel. I’m gonna come. Ahh, baby. Please. Fuck.”

Between his cock, his fingers and his mouth, you felt your orgasm building before your walls finally clenched around Joel as he let out his own orgasmic moan. Both of your movements became sloppy as the wave of your orgasm hit and you emptied around Joel as he emptied himself into you.

You and Joel tried your best to catch your breath as you both remained still, his hand leaving your clit to hold you on him, at your hip.

“Fuck.”

Leaning down you kissed him once more as his hands snaked around you, holding you against him. You felt his hand travel up your back before rounded down and flicking across your nipples once more.

Finally he slowed and rested his head against your chest. And you both remained like that for a while until the feeling finally returned back into your legs, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

After cleaning up downstairs, Joel met you in the shower where his hands tangled between the wet strands of your hair and your back took on temporary imprints of the shower tile. And by the time you both woke up in the morning, your legs were still tangled with Joel’s from when you’d climbed back into bed after peeing.

Once Joel finally woke up, you both lay in silence for a while, your nails trailing up and down his chest as his own fingers did the same on your arm.

“How’s your side?”

“I think the aching in my legs is distracting me.”

Joel smiled and leaned down to press a kiss to your lips. “Good.”

You kissed him back. “But I think my bandage needs changing.”

Joel nodded. “Grab a shower and I’ll go and grab you some fresh ones. The ones from last night should be dry by now.”

“Okay.” You kissed him. “But feel free to join me.”

Joel smiled and kissed your lips twice. “I plan on it.”

So, after an extra long shower, the feeling of Joel’s cock entering you from behind as he kept your hands pinned against the tile still fresh inside of you, Joel changed your bandage and you both finally got dressed.

By the time Ellie and Maria came knocking on the back door and entering the kitchen, it was like nothing had changed. Ellie might not have noticed it, but Maria certainly did.

“I brought you some antiseptic cream. Should help with the healing.”

“Thanks.”

Joel looked towards Ellie. “You had breakfast?”

Maria shook her head. “Tried to, but she wanted to see you as soon as she could.”

Joel nodded before sucking the bacon grease off his thumb. “Grab a plate. Maria, you staying?”

“No, best not. I’ve got a council meeting in twenty minutes.”

“Coffee to go?” You offered.

Maria nodded, a little confused as she watched the picture play out in front of her. “Uh, yeah. That’d be lovely. Thanks.”

In front of her she saw Joel…happy. His eyes practically followed every movement you made before the eggs spat in the pan and he turned his attention back to his cooking. His hand at your hip as he rounded you to get into another drawer, your hand on his back as you passed him to grab a to-go lid from under the sink.

The way you both looked at each other…it was the same as before but just…more.

“Here you go.”

Maria smiled for a few reasons other than the coffee you handed her. “Thanks. See you guys later?”

You and Joel looked at each other, a little confused. “For what?”

Maria’s brows furrowed. Had you literally fucked the brains out of each other?

“It’s movie night.” Ellie told everyone. Joel looked at his daughter, his brain finally kicking into gear.

“Right. Yeah, yeah. We’ll be there.”

Maria smiled. “Great. Well, I better run. Enjoy breakfast.”

Leaving, you turned back to Joel. “I completely forgot.”

“Same here.” He wiped his hands on a dish towel before transferring breakfast across to three plates.

The rest of the day ran smoothly. Maria made sure to keep you and Joel at a distance from each other when helping set up. If the morning was anything to go by, both of your functioning brains disappeared when you were together.

But she didn’t miss the constant eye-fucking across the room you gave to each other. Especially when the other wasn’t looking.

And it was only when you and Joel passed each other in the supply closet you got a few moments together which each time got interrupted by someone calling for either one of you or someone making their way down the empty hallway towards the supply closet.

That would be when you and Joel would jump apart and put an entire row of shelved between you both, you making small conversation as Joel turned his back, straightened out his mustache, grabbed the box he’d gone in for, slip past you, his hand patting or pinching your ass despite his eyes being fixed on the floor before he got an easy escape in order to cool down.

And once you’d gotten back home, he did everything he’d wanted to do to you in the supply closet, at home. At least until Ellie walked through the front door, calling out for him telling him she was home.

The routine you and Joel had set that night continued for almost a month. In between then, Ellie had worked out something had finally happened between you and Joel, as had Maria and Tommy.

A few others around town had worked it out, too, though they never had full confirmation.

Until the day came where you went missing.

You had meant to pass by the school and walk home with Ellie since it was Joel’s turn to cook dinner. Only, when Ellie walked inside half an hour late and without you, Joel grew a little concerned as well as a little annoyed.

You were never one to bail a plan, or even be late. So why weren’t you with Ellie?

“She didn’t show.”

“What do you mean she didn’t show?”

Ellie shrugged and dropped her bag by the door. “She didn’t show.”

Joel still fixed you a plate anyway. Maybe your work had run over. Only, the worry in the pit of his stomach seemed to grow more when he saw his brother.

“Tommy, have you seen Y/n?”

Tommy nodded his head as he wiped down the bar. “Yeah, earlier. She covered Charlotte’s shift on patrol during dinner time.”

Even with taking the extra shift, you still would have finished in time to walk with Ellie.

“Have you seen her since?”

Tommy shook his head but then called out for someone. A guy dressed in a dark coat walked over. “What can I do for you, Tommy boy?”

“You seen Y/n?”

The guy looked from Tommy, to Joel and Ellie. “Not since the start of patrol. But she should be back by now.”

“Why? What happened?”

The guy shrugged. “One of the fellas said she’d headed back early for something. She wouldn’t say what. They’d finished most of their grid so he finished up on his own and met us back at the bottom of the hill.”

“And you haven’t seen her since?”

The man shook his head. “I’m sorry, Joel. I haven’t.”

“Thanks anyway.”

He nodded. “If I see her, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.”

“Thanks, Bryan.”

Tipping his hat, he walked away and back to his table. Then Joel grabbed his jacket. “Ellie, stay with Tommy.”

“Where are you going?”

“Check her house. Stay with Tommy,” Joel repeated as he saw Ellie go to stand. She reluctantly sat back down.

He was outside your home in fifteen minutes. He called out your name but no reply came. Finding the spare key, he let himself in before looking around the place. Nobody. Then he checked his own home. Then the gardens, school, movie theatre and finally the bar again.

“Find her?”

Joel shook his head. “No.”

But then he heard a laugh, and something dropped in his stomach. Turning around, his eyes made contact with another pair.

You’d pointed out to Joel the men who you knew from before Boston. And there they sat, with a satisfied look in their eyes.

“You looking for your woman, Miller? Or is she just fucking you like she fucked Travis?”

Joel was across the floor in five seconds flat, his hands at the collar of one of them. “What the fuck did you do to her?”

But he just laughed. Joel looked back at Tommy who just nodded to a side door. Everyone in the bar had gone silent, but he wasn’t worried about them. Ellie didn’t need to see what he was about to do.

So dragging the guy with him, he pulled him through the swinging door, meanwhile Tommy and a few others surrounded the other friend before he could make a move to attack Joel.

“The bitch should still be alive if you can find her in time.”

Mostly the guy just laughed in Joel’s face until Joel had him slumped on the floor and had him screaming with a knife in his knee.

“You psycho fucker!”

Joel remained calm. “Where is she?”

“Like I’d tell you,” Joel stabbed him once more. “I’m gonna ask you one more time and if you don’t tell me, I’ll pop your fucking knee cap off.”

“Fuck you.”

Joel twisted the knife. “Okay, okay! She’s in the upper grid! She’s in the upper grid!”

Joel searched his eyes, turning the guy’s head from side to side. “If you’re lying-”

“I’m not!” He cried. “I’m not. I swear.”

“Okay.”

The guy calmed down a little. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“So you’ll let me-” He screamed in pain as Joel shattered his knee. “Ah! Fucker! You promised.”

“I didn’t promise you a fucking thing.”

Joel stood and wiped the knife clean. “You and your friend better be gone before I get back.”

“How?! You’ve just broke my fucking leg!”

“Then crawl. Whilst you can still do that.”

The guy cried in pain. “You crazy fucker! You’ll pay for this! I swear, you’ll pay for this!”

Joel didn’t look back as he walked back through the door. “Call a fucking lawyer.”

The guy's screams of pain died away with the swinging of the door and by the look on the other guy’s face, he was shitting himself.

Joel grabbed him by the collar. “You know where she is?”

He nodded. “Take me.”

“But-”

Joel shot him in the leg.

“Alright! Alright!”

Dragging him by the collar, Joel carried him outside and through the town. Meanwhile, Ellie sat and watched from the cover of the bar before turning to Tommy who came to her side.

“He’ll find her.”

Tommy nodded. “Hopefully.”

But Ellie was adamant. “He found me. He’ll find her.”

Tommy didn’t know the full story about what happened after his brother and Ellie left Jackson the first time, but going off how he’d reacted to finding you gone and in danger and how he’d been on Outbreak Day with Sarah…Tommy had a feeling someone wasn’t coming back.

After forty minutes, the guy lifted his hand, “She’s in there.”

The only thing there was a mound of dirt. The guy was already crying.

“We buried her. She should still be alive-” He didn’t finish his sentence because the blow of the bullet at the base of his skull shut him up.

And Joel got to work, shovelling piles of dirt as quickly as he could.

“Joel!”

From the hill, a few others appeared with guns. “We heard a shot-” Then they realised.

“Grab a shovel! Help me!”

And they did.

Eventually, they hit a wooden box.

“Joel, she’s here.” Bryan told him before wiping the thin layer of dirt from the edges where both himself and Joel stabbed at the edges with their shovels, using them as a crowbar until finally the top popped off.

Seeing more light than before, your lungs seemed to rush with air quicker than you could breathe it in. Sitting up quickly, you felt a pair of hands on you.

“Get off me! Get off me!”

“Hey, hey, hey. It’s me. Y/n, it’s me. Hey, hey, look at me.”

Holding your face in his hands, your vision cleared to find Joel standing in front of you. “J-Joel?”

“Hey.”

Joel helped you up quickly, pulling you into his arms as his back rested against the side of the grave, your sobs falling against his chest.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Bryan laid a hand on Joel’s shoulder. “Take her home. We’ll take care of the rest.”

Joel nodded, his hand at the back of your head. “Come on. I’ll help you out.”

And he did. You were still shaking like a leaf.

With his jacket over your shoulders, Joel held you into his side as you both walked back to town and towards home.

“I’m so sorry, Joel.”

Those were the first words you’d spoken to him since the morning when you’d kissed him goodbye.

Joel shook his head as he was crouched in front of you, washing your face for you. Despite the shower, there still seemed to be dirt in your eyes.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

You nodded but he still had to tell you the same a day later when you woke up in his bed for the second time since he’d woken you up to tell you he’d be back in one hour. When you finally did pull yourself out of bed, you opened up the bedroom door to find Ellie standing to attention.

Neither of you said anything but in a few moments, she ran towards you and hugged you. It wasn’t long before you both sunk to the floor.

“I’m so sorry I was late.”

Ellie shook her head. “Are you going to be okay?”

You nodded. “Thanks to Joel.” You tried your best to dry your tears. “Where is he?”

“Still with Tommy. They’re still dealing with the guys that…” Ellie skipped over that part. “Everyone is on your side, and Joel’s side, too.”

You just nodded again. “Good.”

Then Ellie leaned forward and hugged you again before you both heard a familiar pair of boots walk up the stairs. “You’re awake.”

“I think so, at least.”

“I’ve got breakfast.”

The morning was mostly spent in silence until Ellie fell asleep tucked into your side of the sofa. Joel went to pick her up to carry her to bed but you stopped him. “Leave her.”

He did so and sat on your otherside, his arm resting around your shoulders whilst his hand brushed the back of Ellie’s sleeping head.

“I’m so sorry, Joel.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t your fault. None of it.”

You shook your head. “No matter where I go, I seem to collect scars. And they never let me go.”

Joel pressed a kiss to your head before gently placing his other hand on your thigh. “You should be proud of them. They’re a sign you survived. They’re a sign you’re still alive and here. With us.”

Looking at Joel, all you saw on his face was sincerity. He truly meant it, and truly believed it, too. Leaning up, you let him kiss you gently before you settled your head against his chest.

Maybe he was right. You knew he was right. You trusted he was right.

Especially when you’d come to learn of all the ways Joel could appreciate your survival, proving to you how you could appreciate it, too.

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joelmillermylove · 4 months ago

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Where we belong Pt.1

Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your older best friend Joel Miller finally confesses his love for you. Warning: just a bunch of fluff, age gap. Word count: 849. A/N: Hi babes! This is my first fanfic so go easy on me, Iv been working on this for weeks so I hope you like it and sorry in advance for any miss spellings and for the shortness! Much love 🤍

Part two →

It’s late at night in your living room. The only light comes from the flickering TV screen as an old, familiar movie plays. Joel in his late 40s and you in your mid 20s, you’ve been best friends for a few years now. You and Joel are sitting close on the couch, surrounded by the warmth and comfort of years of friendship. The remnants of popcorn and empty glasses are scattered on the coffee table. The room is quiet except for the movie’s dialogue, but there’s a palpable tension building between you.

As the movie plays, you feel Joel shift beside you. His arm, which had been resting casually along the back of the couch, slowly lowers until it’s draped around your shoulders. It’s a small, almost unconscious movement, but it makes your heart race. You can smell his Cologne, notes of citrus, leather and woodsy musk; it’s intoxicating. You lean into him, your head finding a comfortable spot against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat is soothing, but it also makes you more aware of how close you are to him.

Neither of you says anything for a while, both pretending to focus on the movie, but your thoughts are elsewhere—on the warmth of his body, the way his hand gently rubs your arm, and the unspoken connection that’s always been there. The movie reaches a particularly tender scene, you feel Joel’s hand still on your arm. You look up at him, and he’s already gazing down at you, his expression soft but serious.

“Joel?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he lifts his other hand, hesitantly brushing a strand of hair away from your face. The touch is gentle, almost reverent, and it sends a shiver down your spine. “I’ve been thinking,” he says quietly, his voice deep and rough, yet filled with something you can’t quite place. “About us.”

You blink, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. “What do you mean?”

Joel takes a deep breath, as if gathering his courage. “We’ve known each other for so long. You’re… you’re my best friend. But lately, I’ve been feeling things I can’t ignore anymore. Things I’ve tried to push aside because I didn’t want to mess up what we have.”

Your heart pounds as he pauses, his eyes searching yours for any sign of what you might be feeling. “The truth is… I’ve always cared about you, more than just as a friend. And I’ve tried to keep it to myself, but it’s gettin’ harder and harder, especially when we’re like this.”

His hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin in a way that makes your breath catch. “I love you,” he finally says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, and I just… I needed you to know.” The world seems to stop as his words sink in. He’s watching you closely, as if bracing himself for your reaction, his own emotions laid bare.

For a moment, all you can do is stare at him, his words echoing in your mind. You see the vulnerability in his eyes, a side of Joel he doesn’t often show. Your heart swells, and suddenly everything makes sense—the lingering touches, the way he always looked out for you, the moments when it felt like there was something more between you, You were in love with him.

“I… I love you too, Joel,” you finally say, your voice trembling with the weight of your own emotions. “I didn’t want to admit it because I was scared of losing you, of ruining what we have. But I’ve been in love with you for so long.”

Relief floods Joel’s face as he exhales, like he’s been holding his breath this entire time. “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to hear that,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing your cheek.

Before you can say anything more, Joel leans in, hesitating for just a fraction of a second as if giving you the chance to pull away. But you don’t. You close the distance between you, your lips meeting his in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s gentle at first, both of you savoring the moment, the feeling of finally crossing that line you’ve danced around for so long.

The kiss deepens as Joel pulls you closer, his hand sliding from your cheek to the back of your neck, holding you as if he’s afraid to let go. There’s a sense of rightness, of everything falling into place, and you realize that this is where you were always meant to be—with him.

When you finally pull back, both of you are breathless, but there’s a new lightness in the air, the unspoken tension finally gone. Joel rests his forehead against yours, his breath warm against your lips. “I don’t ever want to lose you,” he says softly.

“You won’t,” you promise, smiling through the tears that have started to form. “We’ll figure this out, together.”

Joel nods, his hand still gently holding the back of your neck. “Together,” he agrees, sealing the promise with another kiss, one filled with all the love and devotion you’ve both kept hidden for so long.

As the night goes on, the movie forgotten, you and Joel stay wrapped up in each other, talking about everything and nothing, exploring this new dynamic between you. It feels natural, like the most obvious next step in your relationship, and you know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you’ll face them side by side.

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jobean12-blog · 8 months ago

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Where You Belong

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (pre or no!outbreak Joel-Friends to Lovers)

Word Count: 2,743

Summary: You and Joel have been friends for a long time and the tension has been building. It's hard to ignore and when he comes to your rescue it's all the push you need.

Author's Note: Just a little something because I love protective boys and love friends to lovers and Joel. Thank you so much for reading! Much love always!❤️❤️❤️ Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics Thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: sweet and fun fluff, some light tension, slightly sketchy boss no one likes, soft and protective Joel, kisses, friends to lovers

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

“Do you want me to come with you?”

You turn to Joel who’s splayed out on your couch, his arm tucked under his head and his tee shirt riding up just high enough that you can see a sliver of skin.

After staring for a beat too long you shake your head no and he sticks his bottom lip out while making a disgruntled sound.

“I mean you can, I want you to,” you back track, “but it’s a work thing and you’ll probably be bored.”

“Is your new boss goin’ to be there?” he asks with a raised brow.

“Yeah. Unfortunately, he’s the one who organized it. Claims he wants us to get to know him better.”

You roll your eyes before turning away and searching for the mugs in the cabinet above the stove. Spotting the ones you want you reach up, straining and standing on your tippy toes.

“I don’t like that guy,” Joel grumbles.

“You met him once…for like a minute,” you counter.

“That was enough for me to know,” he says.

“Ugh!” you mutter when you still can’t grasp the mugs.

Suddenly, you feel his warm body press against your back as his arm rises above your head and easily grabs one mug then the other.

“These?” he asks with a boyish smirk.

“Yeah,” you sigh and take them from his hands. “Thanks. What would I do without you?”

You turn and face him, still trapped against the stove when he smiles and says, “I have no idea.”

Pressing a palm to his chest you shove him away and head for the coffee maker. You don’t even ask if he wants a cup, knowing already that he definitely does and just how he likes it.

An hour later when the coffee’s all gone and you’re too comfortable to want to leave you check your phone anyway and sigh.

“Guess it’s time to go,” you say but instead stretch out along the couch and stuff your feet under Joel’s arm.

“You look ready to go,” he chuckles.

Your eyes close but you can’t hide your smile and when he starts tickling your feet you instantly come alive and start kicking at him.

“FINE! I’m going. If you wanted to get rid of me that badly you could have just said so,” you tease.

“I’m at your house babe,” he replies and does nothing to hide his grin.

“Oh. Yeah. Well…” and your words trail off as you stomp into your bedroom to change.

When you emerge from your room, dressed and ready, you’re looking through your bag for your phone and you don’t notice Joel resting along the wall.

“Wow,” he says, louder than intended.

You startle and look up.

“What?” you ask, unsure if you heard him correctly.

He clears his throat and waves his hand dismissively before grabbing his keys.

“Maybe I should come with you,” he says, more to himself than you as he tries to keep his eyes glued to your face and not traveling down the rest of your body.

“You’ll hate every minute of it” you tease.

Before you reach your door he’s there and holding it open for you and when you walk toward your car he follows, opening the driver’s side door when you click the lock.

“Ok, well, have fun,” he says.

“Thanks. I’ll try.”

“Call if you need me.”

“I will,” you say quietly.

He presses his fingers under your chin and tilts your head up until you’re looking directly into his eyes.

“Promise?” he whispers.

“I promise,” you tell him.

His gaze softens and wanders over your face, then he presses a delicate kiss to the corner of your mouth.

You plop down into the seat of the car and wait for him to shut the door. He backs away and watches you pull out of the driveway before heading to his pick-up truck.

“So where is everyone else?” you ask as you sit at the bar and sip your drink.

“Not here yet I guess,” your boss shrugs.

You shift and let your eyes sweep the bar space, silently willing someone else from work to walk in. Your new boss was hired about six months ago. He’s not much older than you and at first seemed nice enough but the more time you’ve spent in his presence the more you notice his lingering glances and unwanted touches.

Thankfully, it’s never gone far enough where you’ve had a problem but you’ve spoken to Joel about it and of course he wants to kick his ass.

Your boss, Scott, leans in closer. Too close and you try to remain unbothered, pulling back only slightly and holding your smile.

“So, tell me more about yourself. I know you’ve been at the company for over a year but since I’ve only been here half that time I’d like to get to know you better,” he croons.

“Umm,” you start as an uncomfortable feeling creeps along the back of your neck. “Well, I uh…love this place. The food is great. You made a good pick.”

He smiles triumphantly at your praise. “Great! Let’s get some dinner then!”

Before you can protest he signals the bartender.

“What’s your suggestion,” Scott asks.

The bartender’s eyes slide to you, a question hanging silently in his gaze, and you smile before saying, “the burgers are really good.”

“Sounds great,” Scott smiles. “Make it two burgers.”

The bartender nods and walks back toward the kitchen.

“Shouldn’t we wait for the others to show up?” you ask.

“They can order something if they come.”

“If…?” you question, but your next thought is interrupted when he lays a hand on your knee.

Your urge to pull away overrides everything else and you swivel on the stool, placing your drink down on the bar and standing.

“I’m just going to use the restroom before the food comes,” you explain, keeping a strained smile plastered to your face.

Scott smiles back and as you walk away from the bar you can feel his eyes on you the whole time.

When you reach the bathroom you rush inside the door and lock it, quickly grabbing your phone.

“Hey babe,” Joel answers after the first ring, “missed me that much already?”

“Can you come get me?” you ask in a hushed whisper.

“Are you ok?” he asks, his voice suddenly hard and alert.

“I’m fine…I just need you to come and get me…pretend I need to come home or something. I don’t know. Just make it work.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks again and you can hear his keys jangling.

“Yeah, just hurry. My boss is the only one here and he’s being sketchy.”

“Where are you now?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Just stay there. I’ already in the truck.”

“I can’t Joel. I have to go back out. I can’t make this look too weird.”

“I knew I didn’t like this guy. He’s an asshole. I should knock him out flat when I get there.”

“Joel,” you plead.

“Ok sweetheart,” he relents with a softened tone. “I’m already on my way.”

“Ok. I’ll be at the bar.”

You hang up and wash your hands then take a deep breath.

As you walk back to the bar you see Scott searching for you, his smile widening when he spots you approaching.

“There you are,” he says as you sit. “I ordered you another drink.”

“Oh,” you answer, looking at your first drink that’s still half full. “Thanks.”

You make small talk, trying to keep the conversation neutral and focused on easy topics like movies and music. He orders his third drink before the food arrives and you can tell he’s starting to get a little drunk.

The bartender shows up with your food orders and when you don’t take a bite your boss frowns.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

You get the impression he’s waiting for you to take a bite before he does so you pop a fry into your mouth.

“These are really good,” you mumble through the mouthful.

He looks pleased and takes a bite of his burger.

“So is the burger,” he says after swallowing. “Good idea.”

Your eyes slide to the door of the bar when you hear it open but it’s not Joel and your shoulders deflate.

“Everything ok?” Scott asks.

“Oh yeah, yeah,” you answer quickly and drag your eyes from the door.

As you’re slowly sipping your water you see Scott’s fork pause halfway to his mouth. His eyes are trained on something over your shoulder, by the door, and you know Joel has arrived.

You place your drink down and turn. He’s standing just a few feet away, covetous dark eyes focused on you. A familiar awareness races along your skin, heating it but at the same time making you shiver with anticipation.

He starts to move toward you with purposeful steps, his jaw set in determination and his fists clenched at his sides.

Without removing his gaze from you he slowly slides his hand across your shoulders and down your arm, taking your hand in his and lifting it to his lips. He kisses your palm and then hauls you off the stool into his arms.

You visibly relax and your eyes go bright with relief as he looks you over.

“Hey,” he says softly. “I’m here.”

You press yourself against his chest and grab a fistful of his shirt.

“Hey yourself.”

Scott clears his throat and it snaps you out of your cocoon of comfort. Reluctantly you put some space between you and Joel and open your mouth to introduce him.

He beats you to it.

“Joel,” he says, holding out his hand. “Her boyfriend.”

Scott looks surprised at first and then skeptical as he reaches his hand out. You can tell Joel shakes it with a death grip and you try to suppress a giggle.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” Scott says.

“Well, she definitely is” Joel answers with a hard grind of his jaw.

“That’s too bad for me,” Scott says.

Joel’s arm tightens around your waist and you can hear his growl of disapproval. Scott seems oblivious to his inappropriateness and you want to punch him yourself.

Instead, you ask Joel, “so what’s going on? Is everything ok at home?” You signal as you best you can with your eyes that he better come up with a good excuse as to why he showed up at the bar.

“Right,” Joel says. “I don’t mean to disturb your work get together,” and he says that with a wry smile and a sarcastic tone, “but I need you to come home.”

“We haven’t finished eating,” Scott chimes in.

“We’ll get it wrapped,” Joel replies cooly.

You give his side a little squeeze, hoping to prompt him to elaborate.

“The dog threw up all over the floor. Think she ate something funny. I figured you would want to come home and check on her.”

He says it all in a rush of words, looking worried.

“The dog!” you exclaim. “Oh poor thing.”

Your boss looks between the two of you. “I didn’t know you had a dog either,” he says.

“Well, you mentioned you wanted to get to know me better,” you say, hoping you sound sweet enough.

“So this is my boyfriend Joel and we live together with our dog…Macaroni.”

You can feel Joel’s body shake with his restrained laughter.

“That’s an interesting name…” Scott muses.

“She’s a light beige color and wiggles a lot,” Joel adds. “It fits.”

You laugh and it’s not forced, the whole made up story sounding more and more like a life you could easily and happily live.

When you spot the bartender you ask for a to go container and pack up your barely eaten food. Joel takes out his wallet and drops some cash on the bar.

“I’m sorry I have to run off like this,” you say, feigning disappointment.

“It’s ok,” Scott answers. “It was nice to hang out. Even for a little while. See you Monday.”

Joel nods his goodbye without another word and slides his large hand to the small of your back, directing you toward the door.

“I want turn around and wipe that smile off his face with my fist,” Joel whispers as he leans down close to your ear.

You giggle and walk through the door he holds open for you, taking a deep inhale of the damp night air.

“That was some story you threw together,” you say with a laugh.

“Yeah, well, it worked right?! Now let’s get home and check on Macaroni.”

He takes your hand and tugs you toward his pick-up truck.

“But my car,” you say as you pass it by.

“I’m taking you home,” he answers.

“But…”

You reach his truck and he spins you around, pinning you against the door.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs. “Please.”

You blink at him. “Ok.”

“Are you sure nothin’ happened?” he asks for the millionth time.

“I am. He just makes me uncomfortable and I didn’t want to be there anymore.”

“And you called me,” he says, stepping closer and crowding you against his truck.

At the feel of his body pressed along yours you suck in a breath of air.

“You told me to call…” you start in a whisper. “And you’re the only one I want to call anyway.”

The wind picks up, whipping around and mussing his hair, the dark curls falling over his forehead. You lift your hand to brush them away and the first raindrop falls, cold and heavy.

“Shit,” Joel mutters when he feels several more drops hit his shoulders.

The sky opens up and the air is filled with the sound of the raindrops pelting the truck. The two of you are quickly getting soaked and his shirt starts to stick to his skin, highlighting every dip and curve of muscle. His dark lashes are thick and damp and his hair hangs loosely around his face, with just a curl at the ends.

His gaze sweeps down your body as your dress does the same, clinging to your wet skin and revealing the lace of your bra.

When his eyes are on yours again they’re filled with unbridled heat and you react by pressing yourself closer and tracing the broad width of his shoulders, your arms circling around his neck and your fingers delving into his hair.

Your lips hover just an inch apart and a low moan slips out of you, the sound making him release a sharp breath.

“Joel,” you whisper, barely audible over the rain.

He presses his palm to your cheek, his thumb brushing along your skin and wiping away a drop of rain before he cradles your face and drags your lips to his.

Despite the coolness of the rain his touch is warm, the feeling spreading along your skin as you become soft and pliable in his arms.

You cling to him, matching his heaving breathing when he pulls away. He runs his calloused thumb across your bottom lip, groaning when your breath hitches and your eyes flutter closed.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, his expression almost pained.

You lick your lips, a clear invite for more, and he almost loses his last thread of sanity.

“Fuck,” he breathes out as his gaze dips to your mouth again, studying your lips like he wants to devour them.

The rain has completely soaked through your clothes but you could care less and when his lips find yours again you can feel the growl that moves through his throat. It sends you over the edge and you slide your hands down his chest, grasping at the wet material until you can slip your fingers under and feel his skin, keeping him impossibly close.

When you pull back, only to catch your breath, you follow the trail of a drop of rain as it runs down his temple and across his cheek, collecting on his upper lip. You gently suck it off, moaning when his hands grip your ass and he rocks his hips.

His hand smooths along the curve of your spine and his lips fall to your neck with a soft kiss.

He gathers you against him, running his nose along your throat until his warm breath fans your lips and his eyes are focused on yours.

“You’re so beautiful it hurts,” he whispers. “Let me take you home. Let me make you mine.”

@lizette50 @hiddles-rose @lorilane33 @kmc1989

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller the last of us #pre!outbreak joel miller x reader #no!oubtreak Joel miller x reader #friends to lovers #protective!joel miller

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lincolndjarin · 2 months ago

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Bewitched Masterlist ⋆.˚

din djarin x witch!reader

synopsis : you have grown painfully accustomed to the silence and isolation of your planet. you like your routine, you like knowing where everything is, and you like being alone. of course you don't really have a choice in that matter but it isn't a problem. you like the quiet. or at least you did until someone quite literally crashed into your life, bringing along all of their noise.

gen. tags : slow burn, forced proximity, strangers to friends to lovers

18+ mdni, no use of y/n, reader is generally undescribed beyond the point of being afab, being shorter than din, and having hair.

chapter one, The Comet, coming soon!! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates!! dividers by @saradika-graphics !!

#lincolndjarin #bewitched fic #fic : bewitched #star wars #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x you #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin/you #din djarin x you #din djarin smut #din djarin fanfiction #din djarin x reader #din djarin #strangers to friends to lovers #slow burn #forced proximity #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal

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getitoutofmymindwrites · 6 months ago

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New beginnings | joel miller x f!reader, 7.8k

Summary: What happens when you run into that handsome stranger from the bar at Trish’s house? Where do the two of you stand two years after this unexpected encounter?

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, some back and forth on the timeline, mutual pinning, light angst, slow-burn, a smidgen of fluff, cursing, Joel being kind of a prick, Joel being an idiot, insecurities, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Part two of the I don’t even know your name series and yes, I know it’s been a long time coming, sorry about that! I’m confident (well, aren’t you a bold one?) that the third part will be coming much, much sooner! Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all!

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

previous | next

BEFORE

You know that warmth. You remember it. His warmth. His large, calloused hand completely encircles yours as you formally introduce yourselves. If his reflexes weren’t fast enough, you’d still be staring at him, unable to believe he’s standing right before you.

The storm of all those memories overwhelmed you and Joel realized that, unlike the rest of your company who continued to stand behind your back in blissful ignorance. Your mind had become detached from your body, which seemed to make decisions of its own; you were ready to do anything at this moment.

If he chose to show his hand and acknowledge you, you would follow his lead. If -by some miracle- he chose to lean in and kiss you, you would reciprocate. If he chose to pretend he didn’t know you, you would put up with it. You would do anything to be good for him, no common sense left in your dazed mind. But his face is serious and his warm, dry hand is firmly on yours, squeezing it lightly, in a silent form of communication, I know; it’s ok; get a grip; what the fuck. He doesn’t let go of your hand, acting as an anchor, until you decide you feel grounded enough to handle the situation. It’s at that moment that you can tell he’s waitin’ for you to be in control of the narrative. Whatever you say, goes.

You take a deep breath and tell him your name, as you finally release your hand from his and move aside to let him enter the house. The muscles between his eyebrows and around his mouth twitch imperceptibly, almost in disappointment, you think. His scent as he passes by you, hits your nostrils and your memories flood back into your mind, even stronger than before. Your body tenses and you feel your nipples tighten against the fabric of your bra. You begin to wonder how you’re gonna make it through the night.

You all move into the living room while dinner is being prepared, except for Trish who excuses herself to the kitchen. Tommy sits on the couch next to you while Joel is standing in front of the window with his arms crossed over his chest and Sarah is relaxing in her favorite spot, on some big fluffy cushions randomly scattered on the floor next to the fireplace, scrolling through her phone.

“Trish, do you need a hand?” you try to keep your voice steady, although you desperately need an excuse to leave the room. No such luck. “No babe”, comes the wrong answer, “I got it, you chill and have fun!” Why she has to be such a good friend is beyond you. You smile awkwardly and look everywhere but in Joel’s direction. Tommy puts you all out of your misery by asking you about your relationship with Trish.

“Oh, we’ve been best friends for a long time, done pretty much everything together,” you explain, deliberately raising your voice for the last part, “it’s starting to get unhealthy if you ask me,” you look towards the kitchen entrance, waiting for her reaction. “You’re not moving outta here any time soon, missy, so stop whining!” comes the reply from the kitchen. You grin as Tommy and Sarah laugh. Joel just stares at you with a scowl on his face.

“Are you staying long?” Tommy continues.

“Tommy.” Joel warns him.

“I’m just making conversation sunshine, ‘mnot being nosy!”

“It’s ok, really, no problem at all.” you intervene, feeling sorry for Tommy, still avoiding looking directly at Joel. “I’ll be out of her hair, as soon as I find a place to move to..”

“No, you won’t!” Trish protests. “Yes, I will!” you deadpan, “I told you it was getting unhealthy.”, you wink at Tommy before you could stop yourself. Why the hell did you wink at him? You need to calm down before you do something stupid. Joel’s fingers tighten, clutching his arms tighter to his chest. Shit, you don’t think straight when you’re stressed. Tommy seems to like it, though.

“Maybe we could help you”, Tommy offers, “we see lots of places ‘cause of our job, we could keep you in mind if something good comes up.”

“Tommy.” Joel drags his brother’s name across his tongue as a warning. You look at him quizzically for the first time since your handshake, wondering what they do for a living. Fortunately, you work up the courage to ask Joel directly, before Tommy has time to protest to his brother again.

“I’m a contractor” Joel informs you with the slightest hint of annoyance, as if he was reluctant to share this mundane information, “and Tommy works with me.”

“Oh, that’s cool!”, you raise your eyebrows in admiration, your eyes brightening. He takes his eyes off you and you wither inside.

“Well, never heard that one before. Joel is cool.” Tommy says in mocking surprise, giggling. You look flustered and Joel looks annoyed. “She didn’t say I was cool.” he frowns at his brother, “I know my job is far from fancy, you don’t have to just say that.” he turns his reply to you, displeased with your comment.

God, you feel like a little child in his presence, he can’t just chastise you like that, you have two kids of your own, you’re an adult, for Christ’s sake. “I know I’m not,” you say defensively and you start to get irritated. This is how the night is going to unravel? “I mean it. I have always admired people who can build and repair things with their own hands. Three pairs of eyes are now looking at you, all of them quite surprised.

Joel has absolutely no confidence in himself to start a conversation with you right now, but his curiosity gets the better of him. So, “How so?” is the next thing that comes out of his mouth.

Your eyes widen slightly in startlement at his sudden elaboration, you hadn’t expected him to continue the conversation. “Uh,” you sigh, raising your brows in deep thought and shaking your head slightly, “maybe it has something to do with my dad, he was always good at fixing things. I don’t know, it made me feel safe, taken care of. Still does, even the thought of it. I always thought that if the world ever came to an end, your kind would be the ones to survive.” you shrug, unable to look Joel in the eye and fidgeting with your fingers on your lap, the answer more intimate than you intend it to be. But you give it anyway, for him.

You want him to know that you would never lie or make fun of him. That night, however indifferent it was to him, made him indelibly etched in your memory. And even though your interaction was so brief, one night out of the thousands in your life, it made you feel something for him. Childish as it may sound, you felt he deserved your respect in some way.

There’s a moment’s silence in the room, Joel staring down at his feet, not wanting to look emotional. Taken care of. He can’t get the words out of his head; it’s what he felt for you that night, what he wanted to offer you before his chance was torn apart by the fucking knoc-

“Our kind?” Tommy intervenes once more.

“Yeah,” you try not to blush, but you can feel the heat in your cheeks, “you know, resourceful, competent, reliable.” Sarah tries to hide her grin behind her mobile phone, sneaking glances in Joel’s direction, little devil, while Tommy looks so pleased with your perception of their profession.

“Then you should definitely keep us close, take full advantage of us,” Tommy fills the silence, now his turn to wink at you, oh god, what a mess, “I’m in the same business, too, like Joel said.” Subtle. “We’d be more than happy to help darlin’, right Joel?” he turns to look at his older, brooding brother. Joel seems lost in thought or uninterested in answering. “Right?” he presses eagerly. Joel slowly raises his head, looks deep into your eyes and says nothing more than “Right” in a deep drawl of a voice. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. He makes you feel so small but you feel a glob of arousal pooling on your underwear, making you wonder what the hell is wrong with you.

Tommy turns to you expectantly, his eyes shining under the lights in the room.

“Maybe I intend to.”, you smile softly, glancing briefly at Joel before turning your eyes back to Tommy. Joel’s body stiffens, giving you the impression he’s trying to hold something back.

“Is it something particular you’re interested in, so we know what we’re looking for?” To your and Joel’s dismay, Tommy doesn’t let up. Your eyes turn briefly to Joel for help, but he looks down again, his arms still stiff across his chest, as if they had a mind of their own and were capable of murder if he let them go at his sides.

“Uuuuh,” you laugh nervously, “anything will do considering my situation, I can’t really be picky.”

“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?” Tommy frowns worriedly. Joel stiffens at the sound of the endearment.

Where do you start with what’s going on in your life right now? Only one person -apart from Trish- seems to know and he doesn’t look very happy at the moment. “Well, Tommy, I’ve two kids, two little girls and I can’t find a place that is decent enough, at a good price and owned by someone who doesn’t mind renting their property to a single mom.” Tommy’s brows are raised so high in shock, they would touch his hairline if they could. “Goddamn, how the hell did that happen?”

“How did what happen?” you ask confused. “You,” he says, his eyes roaming all over you in a definitively not subtle way, “being a single mom with two kids. What the hell did he d-”

“Tommy.” Joel’s tone is more raised this time, shooting daggers at his brother, warning him again to drop it. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ” Joel mutters through his teet, a look of disbelief on his face at his brother’s lack of discretion and if you weren’t already looking at him, you wouldn’t have heard it.

Trish comes out of the kitchen before you or Tommy can react.

“Ok guys, let’s move it to the dining table.” she clasps her hands together, “Dinner will be ready in ten!”

While everyone’s attention is focused on Trish, including yours, Joel’s eyes penetrate you in a silent command to look at him. You feel him staring at you and you turn your attention to him. He continues to stare at you as he asks Trish if she has any tools to fix her bathroom cabinet, since Tommy forgot the one thing he was supposed to remember. He takes his eyes off you as the others laugh at his accusation and turn to look at him.

“Yeah, I think I have a small toolbox in the supply closet upstairs, next to the bathroom. I don’t remember exac-”

“That’s ok Trish, I’m going to check on the girls anyway, I’ll help Joel look for it.” you take the opportunity to excuse yourself.

You stand up carefully, feeling your legs go numb and praying you don’t trip and make a fool of yourself in front of everyone. Joel follows behind you as you go up the stairs. You can feel the tension between you, his body heat almost warming your back. He can’t be that close though, can h-

As soon as you reach the door to the bathroom, he opens it in a hurry and pushes you in, grabbing hold of your arm as he follows suit. You gasp at his gesture and turn to face him. His eyes bore into yours, searching for something. His arms are clenched in fists at his side, giving you the impression he’s trying to control himself.

You’re both silent, despite a vocabulary so vast, none of the words seem to fit your thoughts and emotions. “You’re OK.” He speaks first. It’s not a question, not a reassurance. It’s a statement of fact. You look confused, trying to work out where he is going with this. He thought you would break down at the sight of him? Well, he wasn’t wrong, but he didn’t need to know. “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” It comes out harsher than you intended.

You see in real time a series of thoughts crossing his eyes, something fragile and vulnerable in the air. But it passes as quickly as it came.

“Nothin’, nothin’.”, he shakes his head and closes his eyes, trying to clear his mind. He opens his eyes with a sigh and looks at you. You stare at each other for a good minute and then you both realize that you are together again, the two of you, in a small bathroom, behind a closed door. Your brain is blank, the only thought crossing it is to say something, say something, say something, but he beats you to it. “It’s best if we don’t tell them we know each other.” Is he serious right now? From all the things he could have said, this is what he came up with? You bite the inside of your cheek in frustration, “Well, I think we’re already past that, that firm handshake at the front door made that quite clear.”

“You played along, though. So, don’t go around accusing m-”

“Hey, hey, I’m not accusing you of anything, where is this even coming from?” you frown in confusion. He wanted you to admit you knew him in front of everyone? In front of his daughter? “Hey, guys, how do you know each other?” “Oh, we almost fucked in a bar bathroom!”. That would have gone well.

“Yeah, I’m just sayin’-”

“Look, Joel, there’s nothing to say. It’s not like I was going to shout it over the rooftops anyway.”

“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?”, he looks offended for some reason.

“Means that there’s nothing to say.” you insist sternly. “Literally.”

He laughs nervously, obviously irritated. You don’t understand why, you thought you were making his life easier. What does he want from you? “Right, right,” is all he gives you, nodding his head a few times. You raise your hands in resignation, your eyebrows raised to your forehead, your mouth open, not knowing how to navigate the situation.

“What is your problem, what do you want me to say? You pretended not to know me when you saw me and you just told me, like 30 seconds ago, not to mention anything to anyone! I think I’m doing all right so far, don’t you? How am I pissing you of exactly?” your anger makes you raise your voice slightly.

He’s all over you in a second, pinning you between his body and the bathroom door. “Keep your goddamn voice down.” he grits through his teeth, his one hand a clenched fist at his side, the other next to your head, palm flat on the door. The sudden invasion of his scent in your nostrils and the fan of his breath on your lips is all you can register, but his words come back to you and your anger boils in your gut.

“Watch your tone with me, I’m not some child you can intimidate.” you shoot back. That seems to snap him out of his headspace and he backs away slightly. He exhales loudly from his nose and rests his forehead on his outstretched arm, the other now resting on his hip. His unruly locks are so close to your face that you can practically smell his shampoo. You clench your fist to resist running your fingers through his soft hair. “Shit,” he mumbles through closed eyes, he really doesn’t seem to be able to keep his eyes on you long enough, “’msorry”.

He smells so good, so delicious, that it takes every ounce of strength you have not to wrap your hands around his broad torso. You want this moment to yourself, to wrap your arms around him and comfort him, to plant kisses all over his face, to nuzzle your forehead where his thick neck meets his shoulder, to breathe him in. The corded muscles bulging under his tanned skin make you salivate. This guy is pissing you off and all you can think of is how you’d die to touch him. Great. You rest your head on the door behind you, close your eyes and grit your teeth, trying to regulate your breathing.

“’Msorry” he mutters again, shaking his head. He looks so worried and uncomfortable, you decide to give him another chance. Maybe he’s confused, too. You both had to make a call at such a short notice, with his whole family looking at both of you expectantly to introduce yourselves. It was the logical thing to do. Wasn’t it?

Maybe he’s afraid you’d expose your naughty deeds in front of his daughter. After all, no parent wants their child to know that they’ve almost had sex with a stranger in a bar. You totally understand. And to be honest, you did leave him all hot and bothered back in that bathroom and run the opposite way, so why would he want to be in the same room with you? He probably feels insulted by your reaction that night.

Or maybe- how did you not think of this before? Maybe he has a wife. But he’s not wearing a ring. Not that it matters, lots of people take their rings off at some point. Maybe he has a girlfriend. Wouldn’t she be here with them for dinner if that was the case? With him? He doesn’t look the type, either. The cheating one. But you hardly know him, you don’t really know much about him beyond what he told you about his past that night.

“Joel.” you call his name looking at him through your lashes, your head still resting on the door.

“Hm” he hums, still in the same position.

“Joel, hey.” you try to get his attention again, this time lifting your head to look straight at him, a gentle smile on your face.

His eyes finally meet yours in a subtle, tired hey, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly.

You hold each other’s gaze taking each other in, and you both laugh softly in a quiet understanding. But this feels so warm, so soft and tender, is he really that angry with you? He must be, otherwise why the tension? You should try and put him at ease.

“Look, I understand this is awkward and unexpected; I do. But we’re fine; we’re gonna be fine, Joel.” Damn, the sound of his name in your mouth. “I won’t say anything, really, don’t worry. We’ll have a nice meal, we’ll make the typical minimum small talk and when this night is over we’ll be out of each other’s hair, you won’t have to see me again if I can help it, I don’t mean any trouble, seriously.”

And there it is again, the disappointment. “Yeah, no, I know. Sorry I snapped at you.”

Joel looks as if he’s going to say something more, but at the last moment he changes his mind.

You nod in acceptance of his apology. “Let me hand you that toolbox, before they start wondering what’s taking us so long, hm?”

“Sure.”

“Do you need any help?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Ok, I’m gonna check on the girls and then head downstairs.”

Joel nods as he takes the toolbox from you, careful not to touch you and crouches down on his knees to inspect the damage to the cabinet. You glance in his direction one last time, admiring his wide, strong form kneeling on the floor and then close the door behind you quietly.

“Fuck.” you both exhale on either side of the door.

Two rotations of the earth around the sun had passed and Joel had become a constant in your life. He came and went like the seasons, with an orbit of his own.

Winter.

His orbit was longer and colder. The distance between you grew, more so emotionally, as if something was holding him back. The domesticity of it all was too much for him, scratching at old wounds he tried too hard to keep buried. He always cared, always kept an eye on you, but from a safe distance.

Like the time you came home late from work and cursed yourself for not cooking dinner in advance. You were starving, but the thought of making something to eat seemed like too much trouble; you were exhausted. Thank goodness the girls had their dinner ready, all you had to do was heat it up. Two minutes after you let yourself in, the doorbell rang. You rushed out of the bathroom and opened the door to a takeaway, its temperature indicating that it had just been delivered to your doorstep. You looked around but saw no one. You were pretty sure it was a mistake, but then your phone vibrated,

Eat, while it’s hot.

Did you leave these outside?

Yes.

Why?

Trish told me you were caught up at work, thought I’d save you some time.

You just kept staring at the screen, your heart warm but your mind confused. A second text came while you debated what to answer him.

Need to take better care of yourself.

No, why ‘d you leave?

Summer.

His orbit was shorter and warmer, like a pleasant summer breeze. He was around more, more involved in your life.

Like the time he was in on your house hunting trip.

Like when he talked you into buying a house and not renting because he found one for you that was beautiful and ideal and close to Trish’s so you wouldn’t be alone and your daughters would love it and it was a family house. Yes, the house was a ruin. OK, maybe not a ruin, but really old. It was beautiful, but it had definitely seen better days. It needed a lot of renovation.

“Joel, I can’t afford this.” you said as you looked around, almost pained to have to say no. It was a really lovely house.

“Listen to me-” Joel tried to make his point but you interrupted him anyway.

“I am listening to you, that’s how you convinced me to consider buying a house instead of renting an apartment. But if I do, I’ll use up all my savings, I can’t afford a renovation of this magnitude,” you continued, looking around the house, moving from room to room, imagining how you would have decorated it if it was yours.

“I’m gonna help you with that.” he said bashfully.

“How are you going to do that, Joel?” you rolled your eyes at him.

“Do you remember what I do for a living?” Joel teased you and you glared at him.

“I’m not sure, I think you mentioned something about a contracting bussiness?” you mimicked him. “Joel, I’m serious. Of course I would choose you and Tommy if i could afford it.” you said in despair, eyes wide, hands in the air as if you’re pleading with him. Which you were.

“I’ll do it in my spare time.” he suggested, looking down at his feet, avoiding eye contact and hugging his chest with his arms, as if trying to protect himself from the vulnerable position he had put himself in.

It took you a minute to register what he was implying. Your jaw dropped, unsure of what to say when you did. Your heart ached with warmth and your breath caught in your chest. It was too much.

“There’s no way I’m accepting this, you know that.”

“I really don’t min-”

“Absolutely not, not in a million years.”

“Goddamn, you’re stubborn!” he snapped, not used to not getting his way. Take the fuckin’ help, goddamn it. Your eyes looked glazed, you never had the ability to deal well with people snapping at you quite well. Especially people you cared about. Joel felt your discomfort and immediately regretted his temper. Soft things needed gentle handling. And you were soft. So soft for this world. For him.

He stepped closer to you and engulfed your hands in his with a deep sigh. “Look, I’ve done the calculation. This is the best deal you can get. The price of the house is fair. In fact, between you and me, it’s low. And I’ve already worked out what needs to be fixed.” He paused, breathing in and exhaling a little harder. “I want to do this. For y- for the girls”, he stuttered and you looked down to where your hands met. These hands. His hands. Big and warm and capable. Capable of renovating your house, capable of holding your hands in his, capable of taking you apart piece by piece. Were they capable of putting you back together again?

Your whole body tingled with another wave of warmth at his touch. But it was too much. It was always too much with him. The unbearable distance or the suffocating closeness. All because he wouldn’t make up his damn mind. He couldn’t do that to you. Give you a glimpse of affection and then pull away. Because you were sure he would eventually. As he had done so many times before. This time you had to protect yourself. So you pushed him away the only way you knew how.

You tore your hands from his tender grip as you attacked him in a raised tone pointing at him. “We are not your responsibility!” You regretted it the moment you spat it out. You didn’t have to be so harsh. So quick to anger. Please, please be angry with me. Scream at me. Turn your back and walk away. Make me feel like shit.

He looked at you in shock, his eyebrows raised, a hint of sadness on his face. And something else, more subtle. As if in understanding. As if he could hear your thoughts. You were not his to care for. You were not his to protect. “I know that.” he sighed, squeezing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Joel,-” you tried to take it back, there were not many things you hated more than what was happening right now. The fact that you couldn’t take back what you had just said. You felt terrible.

“Look,” he interrupted you, raising his arms in resignation. “I’m just trying to help. You moved states alone with two kids, starting from scratch. I just thought maybe I could ease some of the burden. It’s the decent thing to do.”

“Joel, you are cutting yourself short. This is beyond decent. Trish and you- and- and- Tommy and Sarah of course,” you mumbled embarrassingly, “you’re all I have and you have supported me in more ways than I can count. That’s why I can’t be a burden to you.”

“I didn’t mean you were a burden.”

“No, no, I know, this is not on you, this is me, I-”

His face was full of concern as he waited patiently for you to speak your mind.

“I don’t want to be a burden. Or to feel like one. Even if I know-, I know I’m not that to you. I know that. But just the thought of the possibility makes me freak out. That’s why I need to keep everything under control, because if I give it away, even a little, I don’t know how I could ever repay this kindness. I don’t even know if I’m worthy. I’m not-” your voice broke at this confession and you took a breath to recover, “my life is not easy to navigate, I don’t want anyone to stress over me.”

Joel seemed shocked for a moment, not believing what he was hearing. “You think you’re not worthy of kindness? That’s very cruel coming from someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Yeah, someone good and kind and caring.”

“You must have me confused with someone else.” you joked, feeling uncomfortable at his praise.

“Darling, if I had known anyone else like you, I would have held on to them for dear life," he spat, before realizing what he had said. He laughed awkwardly, frowning at the slip of his tongue and looked around the room to avoid your gaze. Why don’t you hold on to me, then? was all you could think of, but you didn’t dare ask him. So you moved on, protecting the friendship.

“I just- Jesus, I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” you murmured through your teeth, “I was brought up to be strong, never to ask for help, otherwise it was considered a weakness. I learned to do everything myself. By the time my parents grew out of their own insecurities and urged me to be more open, more vocal, it was too late for me to change.” Why on earth are you telling him all this? Why did you mention your parents?

“So, you do kindness, but you don’t accept kindness.” Joel observed and you realized that you had never made that connection.

“I- I don’t know how to receive it; what to do with it.”

In the end, he practically forced his help on you, bit by bit, one sweet word at a time, day by day, until the house was a home. Everywhere you looked you saw Joel’s efforts.

You saw the care with which he worked on this house as if it were his own. You heard his laughter as you forced him to take a break and shoved food into his mouth, knowing he hadn’t eaten all day. Every step you took on the hardwood floors reminded you of his broad back as he knelt down to replace the old floor. Every shower you took was a painful reminder of his massive, veiny hands sweating as he reinstalled the hardware. Everything felt like Joel, even in his absence.

NOW

“What is this party for, again?” you call out from her bedroom as you apply your lipstick in front of her vanity mirror. You almost didn’t come, but you knew she’d drag your ass back to her place if you didn’t.

“This is fooor..” Trish replies from her en-suite bathroom as she searches for a good excuse, unable to find one. “You know what, I don’t need a reason to have a party! Think of it as a chance to see each other more!”

“Trish, we can do this without a million people around us and me leaving my kids with a babysitter.” you roll your eyes in fake exasperation.

“Your kids are gonna be just fine. They want you to have a good time.”

“They’re four and two years old, dude.”

“Well, in that case, they want you to find them a daddy.”

“Oh my god, Trish! Seriously?” you snort at her comment.

“That’s what’s the party’s all about! You finding yourself a daddy; if I’m being honest-”

“Please don’t!” you beg her to stop.

“-you need it more than they do. That is so perfect! I actually have a couple of guys in mind and they’re a bit older, just like you like ‘em-”

“What?” you swallow tightly and you’re glad she can��t see your face right now. “What are you talking about?”

Trish pops her head through the door and wiggles her eyebrows, “They’re about Joel’s age, is what I’m talking about.” You shake your head in denial, your eyes are closed in frustration. “Trish..”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, there’s nothing going on between you; that’s why you’re both hot and flustered every time you’re in the same room.” Your shoulders slump down but you don’t answer because this is getting old.

“What, nothing to say for yourself?” Trish weighs up your reaction and lack of response.

“Frankly, I don’t know what else to say to you.” you shrug in defeat.

“Fine, then find someone to fuck, tonight. That would clear up the air.. for all parties.” Thankfully, you’re saved by the bell, “Jesus..” you mutter to yourself as she leaves you once again to open the door for the first guests.

The party is a success by Trish’s standards, as the house is overflowing with guests. Some of them you knew, most of them you didn’t.

Joel is somewhere in the crowd, chatting to a couple of ladies who have trapped him between them, ogling him like vultures. You make it your mission to rescue him, judging by the desperate look on his face and the furtive glances he throws your way.

As you move to head to his direction, an arm gently encircles your elbow. You turn to see who it is, and are greeted by a stranger. Tall, broad, sweet brown all over his features. He exudes an earthy and secure aura.

“Hi.” the stranger smiles warmly at you, looking deep into your eyes.

“Um,” you blush, why on earth are you blushing, “hi!” you say back. Original.

“I’m Marcus, a colleague of Trish’s.”

“Oh, hi, nice to meet you!” you tell him your name and shake his hand.

“I knew I was right.” he says amusedly, as if talking to himself.

“About what?”

“Trish gave me your name and told me to come find you.”

“Excellent tracking skills, are you a detective or something?”, you tease him playfully.

“Yeah, something like that..”

“Oh- I-” the words catch on your tongue.

“But I had a great lead, wasn’t that hard, to be honest.” he adds.

“Can you share it with me, or you’ll have to kill me if you tell me?” you joke. He was so easy to talk to.

Marcus tips his head back, laughing, “I wouldn’t resort to such methods; let me buy you a drink and we’ll call it even.”

You look down at your hands, your cheeks red from his attention, rolling the bottle of beer you are holding between your palms, too tightly.

“I mean, not right now; I’m sure we could work something out if you’d indulge me.” he adds sheepishly, somehow sensing your train of thought.

God, he’s adorable and not too bad to look at. Actually, he’s quite handsome. “Well, I’ll have to see if your lead is worth my time first.”

Panic rushes through you as you realize the sound of what you said while trying to be funny, and you try to correct it quickly. “Not that- oh gosh-” you feel so embarrassed, but Marcus laughs heartily and shakes his head from side to side.

“Shit, sorry, it was a joke, that’s not the only reason I would go out with you-” Isn’t it? What are you doing? What is he doing to you? Where is Joel? Shit, Joel.

You steal a glance in his direction and he’s already watching your interaction with Marcus, his face hard and unreadable.

“Isn’t it?” Marcus’s voice draws your attention back to him, your eyelids flattering in confusion. He grins, pleased, but so sweet it’s impossible to roll your eyes at him. Your shyness pours through your body language, making Marcus want to comfort you.

“Hey, hey, it’s cool, don’t worry about it. I know it was a joke; I liked it.” he says honestly, “And even if that was the only reason I’m sure by the end of the night you would have changed your mind.” he gives you a lopsided smile, but there’s no smugness on his face.

When he starts to speak again, Trish interrupts, effectively shutting him down. “What took you so long, I thought you couldn’t find her!”

Marcus smiles again, warmth and familiarity washing over you instantly, “Oh, I found her, quite quickly.” his eyes twinkling.

Trish smirks as if she’s realized something, “Come on, I need you outside.”, she grabs your arm and pulls you along, “I’m gonna steal her for a bit, sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s OK, I’m confident I can find her again.”, Marcus winks at you and your heart skips a beat.

You start to walk away, but abruptly turn back, your curiosity overpowering you.

“Never told me about that lead.” you ask him, your eyes wide and wondering.

Marcus bites the inside of his cheek, looking briefly down and then meets your gaze with a hunger in his eyes. “Oh, I had to find the most dazzling woman in the crowd.”, he shrugs as if it was the most self-evident fact in the world. “Mission accomplished.”

You replayed your interaction with Marcus in your mind as you helped Trish light the lanterns on the porch. He had been so kind, direct and sweet, making you feel seen. What bothered you was your reaction. Your insecurity, your inability to believe that he was talking about you. The urge you had to fight when you thought of looking around the room to make sure he wasn't referring to someone else.

What bothered you most was that although it had been two years since you had separated from your husband, you had never felt insecure about yourself. He couldn’t make you feel that way. Of course you doubted yourself at first, looking for your share of the blame, but his actions spoke louder than words, and you couldn’t blame yourself for everything, even if you tried.

But Joel did. He made you feel insecure, vulnerable. With his mixed signals and his constant back and forth, he managed to drive you crazy. What did he want from you? Why couldn’t he make up his mind? Why weren’t you enough? Were you too much?

Maybe it wasn’t just Joel. Maybe anyone in his position would have the same concerns. Perhaps Marcus would do the same if he found out about your family status. Where did that come from? You don’t even know the guy, stop it.

“OK,” you hear Trish behind you, “all set, let’s get back inside.”

You nod, but as you turn to go into the house, Trish comes close, a mischievous look on her eyes and lips. “Maybe, uh..” and she pauses dramatically making you furrow your brow in puzzlement. “Maybe I was wrong about the age gap, huh?”

Oh, god.

“He’s one of the good ones; I approve.” she winks at you and slaps you on the ass cheek, ushering you into the house while you roll your eyes the hardest you could manage.

“Ok, now I need to know.” He laughs heartily, his eyes wrinkling, his whole face lighting up. It didn’t happen very often. It made your heart swell that you were the one making it crinkle with laughter. You loved that face.

“What?” you reply, unsuccessfully fighting back a laugh, dragging out the vowel. You had had a few beers and were relaxed and comfortable around him. You were both standing near the stairs, giving yourselves a bit of privacy from the crowded party. You were still visible to everyone, but it was a little quieter than the constant buzz throughout the house.

“Well, you’re obviously mad at him-” Joel states matter-of-factly, as he leans his back against the wall behind him, but you interrupt before he can finish, “No, I’m not!” and slap your hand on the railing next to you for good measure.

“Uh, uh, uh, none of that,” he looks at you mischievously, “but you never say anything bad about him. So, which one was he?”

“What on earth do you mean, Joel?” and you half whimper his name, thanks to the alcohol in your system, making his cock twitch. God, the things he wants to do to you.

Joel inhales sharply, trying to keep his composure, because he really needs to know what kind of an idiot husband you had chosen to place by your side only to be betrayed; a side he would die to be by. If only he had been the right man for you.

“Which half was he?”

You burst out laughing, finally figuring out what he means. You’re impressed that he still remembers, although it makes sense since you sort of insulted him that night. You know you can’t lie for shit, so you brace yourself, anticipating his reaction. You can almost see the face he’s going to make.

“Actually..” you start, prolonging the suspense, not on purpose, but because you are choking on your own giggles. It’s going to sound so pathetic, but for some reason you can’t wait to tell him how you’ve been deliberately putting yourself down for years. “Yeah...?” His eyes are fixed on you, amused, but you can see the agony underneath.

“He was both.” And you can barely contain your laughter, almost snorting.

He is still at first, as if some invisible remote control has paused the whole scene, waiting for the oh, I’m kidding. When that moment passes, his eyebrows go up so high, his forehead fills with wrinkles. His jaw drops open and he actually looks shocked to the core, almost frightened.

“Both? BOTH?” he practically hovers over you in frustration. “So, emotionally unavailable and bad sex.” he says again, incredulous that someone like you would ever choose someone like your ex.

“Joel!” you chastise him, slapping him on the shoulder, looking around you to see if anyone has overheard your conversation.

Joel fake hisses at your fake hit and taunts you with his laugh.

You shake your head dismissively, “What can I say? You know me, I don’t go halfway, I go all the way.” you reply between laughs, pumping your fist in victory.

He shakes his head in mock despair, then looks down for a few seconds, as if he’s making his mind up for something and then up at you through his lashes. “Oh, baby,” he sighs, “you really need someone to take good care of you” his voice drops, his eyes still holding the amusement but there is a hunger behind his words.

You inhale sharply and then hold your breath as your brain fantasizes about him taking good care of you, right now. You stare at each other for a long time, as if there’s no one else around, and finally you break the silence. A slight anger begins to glimmer in your chest, but you try to push it down. “Well, no such luck on that front.” you drop the bait and see where it takes you.

He can’t say things like that and expect you to do nothing. A small glimmer of hope tries to climb over the uneasy feeling inside you. It sinks its claws into your heart, scratching at the surface of your well-hidden desire. Maybe this time he’ll take a chance on you. Maybe this time he will ask you. Maybe. You try to push that away as well.

“Maybe you should put yourself out there more.” There he is. He’s pulling back, again. It’s fucking exhausting. You know you should be more patient and see where this goes, but your anger is boiling fast, ready to pour out of every pore. He started it, so you might as well finish it.

“Unless, what I need is in here.” Please, please, don’t make me regret this. Over and over, like a mantra.

He swallows so hard you can see his Adam’s apple bobbing, his knuckles turning white around his beer bottle. His eyes keep darting between yours, searching for something.

“Pretty sure it’s not, if you know what’s good for you.” Did he just say that? Your pulse rises and you hold back the tears that tend to gather so easily at your waterline. How could he say that to you? But you recover quickly, he won’t see another drop of tears from you. Not ever again.

“What, you don’t like Marcus?”

“Who?” you see Joel’s body stiffen at the man’s name, his eyes frantically scanning yours for an answer and revenge never tasted better. You would say you were drunk on power if it weren’t for the damn beers.

“Marcus, Trish’s colleague from work, she introduced us tonight- well- not exactly, but- anyway.”, you dismiss your own comment by waving your hand in the air. “Maybe you’re right. I should start giving people a chance. Maybe I’ve waited long enough.” There’s someone interested in you. He’s interested in you and he’s shown it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to feel the look of desire in someone’s eyes. But you’d rather it was Joel’s.

Check mate. His move now.

“Are you sure you want to lead with Marcus?” His voice full of mockery. “You don’t even know the guy.”

“Oh. So, let me get this straight.” you counter. “I should get myself out there and I should do it with someone I know. Let me think.” you take a deep breath and in that short time of in and out through your nose, you debate whether you should say it. Joel seems to catch up with what you’re thinking, raises his hand and purses his lips, but before he can speak-

Fuck it.

“Are you offering?” You ask playfully, with a saccharine smile. Sometimes you really wish you were not so direct. But you couldn’t deny the sweet satisfaction of nailing him to the wall, when you saw the look of mortification on his face. The time for regret would come, but it was not right fuckin’ now.

Joel is speechless, his eyes widen and his mouth opens and closes without a sound. He clearly thought you’d back down. Maybe he thought you liked this dancing around. Maybe he thought he had more time on his hands. Or maybe he didn’t expect you to finally confront him head-on. Still playful, but head-on.

He takes a deep breath and tries to compose himself. He starts to say something, but you don’t catch it because out of the corner of your eye you see Marcus approaching you quickly. If a higher power was listening tonight, it was focusing on the wrong part of the story.

Just before he enters your personal space and you excuse yourself, you linger slowly over Joel, touching his waist with one hand. You feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt and under your palm. You take your eyes off his and look at his plush lips as your face comes dangerously close to his. Your lips brush the space between his earlobe and his neck and you painfully accept this is probably the most you will ever have of Joel Miller. His breath hitches at the feel of your soft lips and the puff of air as you whisper in his ear, “Relax Joel, I wasn’t counting on you.”

That hurt.

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baronessvonglitter · 6 months ago

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Darlin’ Cowgirl

Jack Daniels x f!reader

Word count: 3.1K

Summary: looking for a way out of a bachelorette party, an accidental butt dial becomes a booty call

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit and Mature, friends/coworkers to lovers, reader is at least 21, tipsy flirting/dancing, improper use of a mechanical bull, semi-public sex, fingering, oral sex (m & f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, smut, dash of romance with a happily ever after, no use of y/n, reader has hair and wears a dress

Author's Note: this was the first one-shot I'd ever written on AO3 and decided to post here as well 🤠🥃

JACK DANIELS MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

You aren't looking forward to the bachelorette party. You don't even like weddings, yet somehow you've been roped into being part of your old college roommate's wedding party simply because you ran into her at the grocery store a few months back. It was only when you had the bridal shower that you realized you were one of thirteen bridesmaids. Great. Now you'll feel even more invisible than you already do.

You've been in a slump lately, and the only thing bringing out of it is your devilishly handsome coworker Jack Daniels, aka Agent Whiskey. You're an Information Security Specialist for the Statesmen, an ultra-secret espionage agency, so naturally you keep the details of your job pretty hush-hush. Whiskey, as you affectionately call him, is one of your few confidantes, despite the fact that he flirts with you at every turn. You admit to yourself that it's a nice distraction from your loneliness, even if you feel his flirtatiousness is just a bit of fun for him, his own distraction.

You take your time in dressing up for the night: a spaghetti strap black minidress with a plunging neckline and silver cowgirl boots. At the bar you meet up with your fellow bridesmaids and the bride-to-be, who are all in shades of pink and white, near exact replicas of each other, nearly indistinguishable. You stick out like a sore thumb and you know it.

The bridesmaids want to take shots so you take some with them, hoping your anxiety will dilute just a little. Your inhibitions are lowered just a little, but not enough to go out to the dance floor with the others. You watch as others watch them, in admiration as they laugh and gracefully (despite the Buttery Nipple shots they'd all consumed just minutes ago) and wish you could be part of them. You hang back at the bar, politely declining offers to dance from men who come by to not-so-subtly ogle you. You feel like a piece of meat. Perhaps it was a bad idea to come out, knowing you hate places like this. However, just as you're about to order a Lyft, you get an incoming call from Whiskey himself.

Confused and blushing you go to a quieter place of the bar, which is still very loud. "Hello?" you practically shout into the phone.

"Hey darlin'!" you hear Jack's voice on the other end. "You called me?"

"Um.. no, I didn't.."

He chuckles, warm and low in your ear. "Yes you did, darlin'. I was hopin' you were okay."

You quickly check your call log and sure enough, you'd called him about fifteen minutes ago, when you and the bridesmaids were doing shots. "I must have butt-dialed you," you shout back, giggling.

"Aw, lucky me," he drawls. "That pretty ass was thinkin' about me?"

You're too flustered to reply.

"Where are you anyway? Loud as hell over there."

"I'm at a bar for a bridesmaid party."

"That one you were talkin' about earlier today? No invite, huh?"

You giggle again. "It's for women only."

"Exactly! That's my kinda good time!" You hear him chuckle again.

"Actually it's kinda lame. I'm thinking of calling it a night."

"Don't you dare," he says with mock authority. "Wait there a minute and I'll be on my way. Text me the address."

You hang up and text him, wondering what he's up to. You've never hung out with him after work, even with all the flirting you've both done. You think it's strictly professional with a touch of playfulness, but you've never been one hundred percent sure.

You hang out at the bar, wanting to be visible to him when he arrives, but it's only after you're returned from the ladies' room checking your makeup, outfit and hair, that you see him, well the back of him, and he's mingling with some of the bridesmaids, who are obviously taking a much-needed alcohol break from dancing.

You gently touch his shoulder. "Hey there, stranger."

He turns, smiling, and the look in his eyes becomes one of pure lust. He drinks you in, unabashedly. "Damn darlin', you look so good it hurts," he drawls.

You glance at the bridesmaids, most of whom are checking him out with flagrant interest. "Did you meet everyone? Kaitlyn's the bride-to-be," you introduce them.

"I have, and her husband's one lucky sonofabitch, if I may say so," he places a gentlemanly kiss on the bride's hand and she in turn blushes. "Who's your friend?" she asks.

"A coworker," you say mysteriously, glancing at Jack, who has now turned his whole attention to you.

"You wanna dance, darlin'?" he asks, extending his hand to you.

Your stomach drops, just because you're pretty shy about dancing, and if anything you'd like to leave him with the impression that you can at least move in rhythm. "Maybe the next song," you suggest. "But first, how about a couple of shots? On me."

He smiles and shakes his head. "Darlin', I can't allow that. My treat," he insists, and orders a couple shots of whiskey for you and him.

"Had to be whiskey, huh?" you tease him, taking the shot glass in your hand.

"Of course." He lifts his glass to yours for a toast. "To coworkers getting to know each other better," he says, and there's a twinkle in his deep brown eyes that's hard to miss.

"To getting to know each other better," you grin and down the shot. It's like fire in your throat and stomach.

"Too much for ya to handle?" he teases, having downed his with ease.

"Depends.. which Whiskey are you talking about?" you tease back, feeling a little surge of confidence that either comes from Jack or from the shot.

"You're a little firecracker," he says in a low voice, his eyes blatantly going over every line and curve of your face, and downwards to eyeball your neck, the curve of your breasts. You wonder what he's imagining.

"Firecrackers are fun but dangerous," you warn him with a cheeky smile.

"We both know I'm all about that danger. Ain't nothin' I can't handle.." a subtle lift of his brows suggests he means more than mere flirtation.

"Is that a challenge?" You step closer to him, and the scent of his cologne, notes of leather and tobacco, catches your attention.

He notices your stance, the way you've shifted from a sweetheart wallflower to a provocative temptress. "What if it is?" he whispers into your ear, his breath tickling your skin and raising goosebumps on your flesh.

You follow his lead and whisper into his own ear, your lips grazing his cheek. "Then I accept.." you keep the ghost of a kiss upon his freshly shaven cheek and slowly pull back, looking into his eyes and seeing a newly effected desire there. "Dance with me." You bring him out to the floor, having completely lost sight of the bridesmaids. Nothing exists now but you and Jack and this chemistry that's been building between you.

His hands are on your hips as "Neon Moon" starts to play, a slow and soulful song that suits the mood you're both in. The colored lights sweep across the room, casting blue and scarlet and amber glows across the crowd. You're lost in each other, in the touch of his hands on your hips, the way he caresses them, loving their shape. You rest your hands on his broad, strong shoulders.

"You're a good dancer, Jack. You know what they say about men who are good dancers," you tell him suggestively.

"Really? What do they think, Gorgeous?" He pulls you even closer so your bodies are practically flush together.

"That they're good in bed," you answer with an arch of your brow, as if to imply it was beyond your belief.

He looks at you like a man looking at his first meal in a week of starvation. "Do you want to find out just how good of a.. dancer I am?"

Heat blooms across your body, and your pussy clenches in response. It only takes a moment to imagine what it would be like, riding this cowboy. You see him and you realize you have him right where you want him. "There is something I've been dying to ride.." you gently tug his shirt to bring him closer, as if in a kiss..

For a moment he looks like he's going to melt from the heat coming off you. "Oh yeah, darlin'? And what exactly is that?" he smirks.

Your face lights up. "That mechanical bull!" You grab Jack's hand and lead him across the huge barroom to the line to ride the bull. Sneaking a look at his face, Whiskey looks bewildered, but manages to cover it just in time. "That stupid thing? I can think of something more fun to ride," he smirks again and you resist the urge to drag him outside and let him have his way with you in the alleyway.

You only smirk back at him as the operator calls you to come forward and get atop the bull. Getting on top is easy, but staying on will be hard. As soon as you're situated, the bull starts spinning and bucking, slowly at first to let you get your bearings. You laugh and hold on, your body moving with the bull, anticipating its every move. Your hips grind down to the leather, thighs locked tight as you move your pelvis forward. Catching Whiskey's eye you blow him a kiss.

Seeing that the ride is winding down, he goes up to the operator and pays him to let you go again. This time, apparently on Whiskey's orders, the ride goes slower, allowing you to continue your little show for Jack. Keeping eye contact with him, you imagine it's him beneath you. Suddenly you gasp as you realize the bull is moving faster, and you watch as Jack's expression turns dark, lustful. You bite your lip as the speed increases. Pleasure pools in your belly, more specifically between your thighs, and the first stirrings of pleasure begin to radiate outward to your limbs, You rear your head back, face pointed up in ecstasy, and a rolling thunder starts in your veins.

You don't realize it until it's happening but you're being led away by Whiskey to a small corridor where no one can see you, and buries his face in your neck. "Tell me to stop if that's what you want," he says, his voice strained. "But by all that's holy, you are the hottest god damn thing I've ever seen."

But by then your leg is already hooked around his hip, shamelessly rubbing against him, the pleasure from the bull ride still fresh in your body. "I don't want you to stop," you whisper.

He growls low in his throat, which you dare to kiss, grazing your teeth across his skin. He gives a sharp hiss, and when he presses against you you feel proof of his desire, as if you needed any more. His hand goes beneath the hem of your dress and slides up, finding the edge of your lace panties. "Black?" he murmurs, his lips still against your neck.

"How did you know?"

You feel the curve of his smile against your skin. "I always know." His fingers trace your inner thighs before dipping into your heated, slick cunt. "Christ woman, you're soaking wet. For me." With his fingers inside you he kisses you, and you tip your face up to lean into his kiss, He slowly pumps two thick fingers inside as he slips his tongue into your mouth, mimicking the movements, earning a deep moan then a whimper from you.

"Watching you ride that bull, I just know it was me you were thinkin' of," he whispers huskily against your ear. "God damn if you aren't the most gorgeous thing I ever laid eyes on,, been wantin' you a long time, darlin'."

Through the haze of desire you smile, finding the temerity to feel touched by his words. "Took you long enough to show it," you tease, cupping the back of his head as you kiss, leaning against the wall as he fingers your wetness.

He groans again. "As much as I want to continue, I'd like to find a more comfortable place to fuck you." He pauses to look to you for consent. "That is, if you still want this."

You reply by palming his rigid cock, already threatening to poke through his tailored trousers. "I absolutely do.."

In a flurry of movement he brings you outside. The bachelorette party is the last thing on your mind, if you even still remember it, All you can think of is being with Jack. He leads you to his truck, the spacious backseat warm and inviting. He's on you again as that door is closed, His mouth finds yours, tongue claiming you. "I want to be gentle, but I don't think I have it in me right now," he admits.

You shake your head. "I'm not asking for gentle, I'm asking you to fuck me, Jack."

You've never called him by his name before, never been so informal with him, but the look in his eyes tells you it's perfectly all right by him. He lays you down on the seat. "Can I get a little taste of ya, darlin'? Been wonderin' what you'd taste like since the day we met."

This draws a sweet whimper from you, to hear he'd always wanted you. "God yes, please.."

He gingerly removes your panties, kissing his way back up your calves and thighs once they're off. You blush when he breathes in your scent. His hands cup the backs of your thighs, hooking them over his shoulders and you can't help but feel exposed. "Christ.. woman, you're gonna be the death of me," he mutters before taking off his hat and leaning in to devour you.

You give a sharp gasp as you lean your head back against the seat, hands mussing his hair as he laps at your wet cunt, licking up your folds and dipping his tongue inside you. He gently laps at your clit, using more pressure with each lick until he cups his lips around it and sucks, listening to how much you like it, how much more you need.

"Fuck!" you shout, a victorious roar as you feel yourself so close to that edge, and Whiskey is happy to let you use him for your pleasure. His tongue draws shapes upon your clit, alternating between swiping with his tongue and suckling it. Only when you come and he sweeps across every fold to drink up your juices does he stop.

You practically push him down, effectively trading places with him as you kneel before him. "My turn.."

His gaze turns dark even as his face lights up. "Hell, I'm not sayin' no to that, darlin'."

Smiling, you undo his trousers and pull them down with his briefs. His cock springs out, thick and long, perfectly curved, smooth, perfect. "God, I just knew you'd have a big dick.." you whisper, tracing with your tongue from root to head.

Whiskey exhales, watching you work on him. He palms the back of your head but doesn't urge you any further than what's comfortable for you. You use your hand to stroke his base while getting the first few inches of him into your mouth, daring to deep-throat him, wanting to see that look on his face, wanting to see him go crazy for you.

"Jesus, darlin'. I'm so on edge right now I might just burst if you keep doin' that," he chuckles. "Get on up here and ride me, gorgeous."

You feel your heart pound in every extremity of your body, especially your cunt, as you get up and straddle him, hiking up your dress. He stops you a moment and caresses your cheek. "This okay with you, darlin'? I have protection if you prefer.."

You smile and shake your head. "I'm on birth control, and I'm clean."

He smiles back. "Ah good. I'm clean too, darlin'." You know it has to be true, as the agents do periodic physicals and are prohibited from missions for the slightest findings.

Kissing him, you rise over him, using your hands to find him and bring him into you. He slides in without any resistance, and you take your time trying to get as much of him inside as you can. "Fuck, Jack," you whisper as he fills you.

Through the pleasure of connecting your bodies he smirks. "Is that an order?"

You giggle a little. "Looks like I'm the one doing the fucking." Just as you say that, he pushes up from under you, moving you up, filling you up just a little bit more. "God!!"

Sinking his teeth in to his lower lip he grabs onto your hips and moves you how he wants, watching your body for clues on what you like and what you want more of. He pulls the front of your dress down and frees your breasts, suckling on each nipple at a time as you melt on top of him, inadvertently letting more of him inside. He's fucking you and you're fucking him.

You grab his hat from the seat next to you and put it on yourself, riding your cowboy. Whiskey watches you, whispering your name, calling you his Cowgirl, bucking his hips up into you until he bottoms out, then lifting you with long strokes until you push him down to grind down. His thumb flicks over your clit, swirling the letters of your name and his, hearing your wild moans and shuddering sighs. You've never come so hard or so fast. You feel the first fluttery feelings deep within, and they shoot through your veins, lighting up your entire nervous system, and you scream his name as your cunt clenches spasmodically around his cock, and soon you feel him spill his cum deep inside you, spurting its warmth to your insides.

It takes a moment for you to come back to earth, and when you do, Whiskey is kissing you, tenderly, with the remainder of the passion you two just shared. "That was.. wow," you sigh, feeling shy around him now, of all times.

"It was spectacular, darlin'. I hope you know I'm gonna want you again," he puts his forehead to yours.

"Is that so?" You blush with elation.

"Of course darlin'. I'm hopin' to make this a long-term association, if you're so willin'. But on one condition."

You raise a brow. "Already calling the shots, huh? What's the condition?"

"That the only thing you ride is me. Ain't no way I'm being upstaged by a damn mechanical bull ever again."

You laugh, and he loves the sound of it. "We'll put a pin in that conversation."

He strokes your hair. The electric light from the bar sign lights up the inside of the truck, magenta and cyan. "You comin' home with me tonight, Cowgirl?"

You smile and give him a soft kiss. "You bet, Cowboy."

divider by @saradika-graphics 👑

#agent jack whiskey daniels #agent whiskey x reader #agent whiskey x you #jack daniels #jack daniels x reader #jack daniels x you #friends to lovers #coworkers to lovers #kingsman golden circle #ao3 fanfic #smut fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal character smut #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal cinematic universe

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chiriwritesstuff · 8 months ago

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Hometown Glory; a Frankie Morales Series Announcement!

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F! Lawyer Reader

Series Rating: E (18+, MDNI)

Series Summary: You're thriving in your career, having established yourself as a sought-after family lawyer in the bustling city. But there's a pull back to your hometown, a longing for roots and a sense of belonging that drives you to open your own firm there.

Just as you're settling into this new chapter, a blast from the past walks through your office doors. It's him—the man who unknowingly held your heart, the one you never quite got over. A face you swore you would never see again... and he's seeking your legal help for his divorce and custody battle from the girl you believed to be your best friend.

You two never officially dated, but the chemistry between you was undeniable. Yet a string of misunderstandings and missed chances kept you apart, leaving you with lingering feelings and unanswered questions.

Now, as you find yourself face-to-face with him again, old emotions resurface, along with memories of what could have been. But amidst the legal complexities of his divorce, you realize this might be the opportunity you've been waiting for—to finally address the lingering feelings between you and uncover the truth that has kept you apart for so long.

Series Warnings and Tags: Frankie and reader meet as kids, jealous best friends, reader has issues with trying to be perfect, complete misunderstandings, someone manipulates them out of being together, all of the cute flashbacks, lawyer goes from sweetheart to ice queen to back to the hometown glory, 'hes no good for you', its me and you against the world (or this town), this will be so sexy but SLOW BURN, that dreaded prom night, second chances, he's always loved her, shes always loved him, fix him fic, he shows her how to live.

Chapter 1 - Back to the Old House, coming soon!

#ok nonnie you GOT ME #fic: hometown glory #Hometown Glory #frankie 'catfish' morales #frankie morales #friends to enemies to lovers #unrequited love #frankie morales fanfiction #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x f!reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #yearning #all of the pining and yearning #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #frankie catfish morales

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hotgirlbedtimescenarios · 2 months ago

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Series Masterlist

Before the Sun Rises

(In progress)

Main blog Masterlist

Pairing: dbf!Joel Miller x reader (age gap)

Series summary: Back in your hometown, most things haven't changed. You arrive fresh off your college graduation, and the walls start closing in. Your parents' expectations weigh down on you, and you struggle to find your place in the world. You find comfort in the only man who's ever taken the time to listen, Joel Miller. Only this time, the girl who runs into his arms isn't a girl at all, but a woman he finds himself falling for.

Vibes: friends to lovers, slow burn, pining, yearning, tension, fluffy, angst, romance

(Warnings listed on each individual chapter)

Chapters

Night Changes (pt.1)

Push and Pull (pt.2)

Unheard (pt.3)

Fresh Start (pt.4)

Days in the Sun (pt.5)

Appearances (pt.6)

Boys, boots, and Broken Hearts (pt.7)

Over Getting Over You (pt.8)

Vows (pt.9)

Daydreams (pt.10)

Wild geese pt.11)

tbd

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penvisions · 1 year ago

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of beskar and kyber {{masterlist}}

Fandom: The Mandalorian (Star Wars Universe)

Pairing: Din Djarin x Force Sensitive! Reader (the Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader)

Summary: You’ve been on the run for as long as you can remember, from a lot of different people and a lot of different things. Everyone seems to see you as either a prize to show off or a captive to exploit. You had been successful in keeping a low profile and evading brief captures. That is until your mother contracted the Guild and the Mandalorian came to possess your tracking fob.

Will he be the reason your freedom is no longer something attainable or will he be the one to help you achieve it in ways you never anticipated?

Word Count: 177.3k - ongoing

Warnings: slow burn, enemies to lovers, plot heavy, very dialogue heavy in later chapters, reader has rich lore that will slowly be explored and brought to light, mentions of sa trauma (brief but integral to reader's character), canon typical violence

A/N: whew, okay. i have so much excitement for this fic. i have been editing a nearly 30k document for months now flushing out details and scenes and plotlines. this is a labor of love, i’m putting so much thought into each chapter before i post and making sure it’s all cohesive before posting! please feel free to share with me your thoughts on this one!! ♡

ao3 link || main masterlist

chapter 1 || chapter 2 || chapter 3 || chapter 4 || chapter 5

chapter 6 || chapter 7 || chapter 8 || chapter 9 || chapter 10

chapter 11 || chapter 12 || chapter 13 || chapter 14 || chapter 15

chapter 16 || chapter 17 || chapter 18 || chapter 19 || chapter 20

chapter 21 || chapter 22 || chapter 23 || chapter 24 || chapter 25

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marvelwitchergilmore · 19 days ago

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Just Wanted To Hear Your Voice

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader -> You and Joel by no means are 'friends', but when things go wrong, you find comfort in hearing his voice.

Disclaimer: Mentions of murder, death, swearing, blood, gunshot wounds. Enemies to lovers, I guess. Single moms hitting on Joel. Hint of fake dating. Age-gap but not really specified. Angst, fluff/smaller intimate moments, Ellie calls Joel 'dad' and they have a cute moment. This is kind of a long one. Not Proof Read.

Yourself and Joel were by no means friends.

In fact, there hadn’t really been a time since you’d both met that you hadn’t knowingly hated each other. He found you too “new” – whatever the hell that meant. And you found him to be, well, an asshole.

You’d both first met through mutual friends. If you could call them that. You’d call Frank a friend. Bill was just…well, all being said he was a decent guy. He just didn’t take much to people.

A small lunch had been put on, allowing a nicer air of discussion around the topics of smuggling and trading. Initially, Joel had been…nice. As nice as he could be for an asshole.

But when he found out you were the one that the suppliers talked through, he practically ran in the other direction.

“She’s too new, Frank.”

Frank shook his head. “Just give her a chance. I promise. She knows more about this than you think.”

Walking around the corner, pretending not to have been eavesdropping, you held up a bottle of wine. “Figured this would go nice with the food?”

Frank smiled. Bill yelled.

“Did you take that from my-”

Keeping eye contact with Joel as you handed the bottle over to Frank, you yelled back to Bill. “Relax. I brought it with me. Your precious collection is safe.”

Bill relaxed after that and Frank went to find a bottle opener. And you stood with Joel in the sunny path.

“If you don’t want my suppliers, you can just say so to my face. But have it be based on their product. Not on how “new” you think I am. Whatever the hell that means.” Turning away, you walked back to the dinner table and acted as if nothing happened.

Ultimately, Joel agreed – however, to a smaller shipment.

“This is a trial run. If you get caught-”

“We won’t.”

For a moment, Joel looked confused, but then seemed to convince himself of something else and the conversation was cleared up before you all went your separate ways.

Except, the trial shipment never made it to Joel. At least, not all of it.

“You're short.”

“Trust goes both ways, Miller.”

Joel didn’t miss the way you were covered in scratches and bruises that were freshly forming. It had shocked him when he rounded the corner and found you considering he didn’t think you were also a delivery courier.

With a heavy sigh, Joel pocketed the goods and handed over his items before he turned to walk away.

“Wait.”

He stopped and looked back at you where he found you pulling an old card from your jacket pocket. “My details. In case you need to reach me.”

Joel took them reluctantly. “Thanks.” Then he nodded to your head. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’ll be fine.”

Then you walked away. But he called after you. “Hey, don’t you need mine?”

“Relax, Miller. I know how to reach you.”

Each meeting after that never got less colder. It was a business exchange being made with minimal trust via delivery system.

And then one day you simply dropped off the face of the planet when you were meant to be making another delivery to him in Boston.

“I knew it! She was too new!”

“Joel.”

“I warned Frank. I told him she would never-”

“She’s been good so far.” Tess explained. “Maybe she’s just having to lay low for a day or two. Security has gotten tighter with the fireflies going around.”

That was true but Joel couldn’t shake the feeling. Then one afternoon, your voice came over the radio.

“Wait a sec. He’s here.”

Tess stood from the chair and handed the receiver over to Joel who had just walked through the door.

“It’s Y/n.” Tess mouthed and the buried fury began to erupt inside of Joel.

“Yeah.”

“Joel?” Your voice crackled over the radio.

“You were meant to be here three days ago.”

“I know. But I’m not coming.”

“What?” Joel’s fury was starting to become white hot. “No, we had a deal.”

“I am sorry, Joel.”

He breathed out. “So what are you gonna do? Run with our supplies? Why call?”

You fell silent for a moment before your voice crackled back over the radio. “Guess I just wanted to hear your voice. I am sorry. To both of you.”

Then you signed off.

And he never heard from you again.

Until he found himself in need of an extra pair of hands at the house Tommy and Maria had set him and Ellie up in. As he stood on his porch in the morning sunlight, he heard a familiar set of tires pull up against his driveway.

First, Tommy stepped out of the passenger side. “Hey, figured you might need some extra panels. The ones around here have mostly rotted away with the winter.”

Then the driver stepped out. And Joel had to check he was still alive.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” You had beaten Joel to his own thoughts.

“Tommy, what the fuck is she doing here?”

Rounding his truck with the extra panels over his shoulder, Tommy looked between both yourself and Joel. “You’ve both met?”

“Yeah, I ran a couple supplies to him a while back.”

“Run off with them more like. What the fuck are you doing here?”

Placing your sunglasses into your shirt pocket, you climbed the stairs of his porch. “Wow, warm welcome. If you must know, I moved here. And I’m guessing you have, too.”

Tommy piped up. “Yeah, Y/n found us after-”

You shot a look at Tommy and he shut up. “After I left Frank and Bill. They left a note for you, if you’ve seen them.”

Joel nodded. “I got it.”

“Good.” And for a moment, the short silence was awkward. “So what can I do?”

“Fuck all.”

Tommy slapped his brother on the shoulder. “She can help fix this porch before Ellie falls through the rotting wood.”

“I can do it myself.”

You looked around and then back at Joel. “Couple extra hands can’t hurt.”

You were right. Joel hated that you were right. And the only reason why he didn’t completely kick you from his home was because the image of Ellie’s foot slipping through one of the wooden slats earlier that morning kept flashing through his mind.

You were banned early on from his porch, left to measure and cut wooden slats for one side of the porch whilst Tommy worked on the one between yourself and Joel, and Joel worked on the opposite side.

Most of it was finished by the time Ellie came strolling back up the driveway. “Joel, you won’t believe what happened today- Hi.”

You looked at Ellie and smiled. “Hi.”

From where Ellie was standing, you were a friend of Tommy’s. “I’m Ellie.”

You went to shake Ellie’s hand and introduce yourself when Joel came around the corner. “I’m-”

“Nobody. Ellie, get inside.”

From the look Joel gave at the sight of you, Ellie didn’t question his order. But she did question his judgement. So, just before he shut the door behind her, she turned back to him.

“Be nice.”

“I am nice.”

Ellie looked around. “Has she been helping all day?”

Joel couldn’t bring himself to voice the answer so just nodded.

“Then be nice.”

Joel just turned her around and lightly pushed her inside. “There’s some soup on the stove.”

Ellie was quick to turn back around just before he shut the door. “I’ve got homework and I…I don’t know…”

Joel just nodded. “I’ll help you.”

Ellie smiled. “Thank you. And be nice.”

An hour or so later, Joel had finally gotten rid of you, leaving him and Tommy with Ellie as she sat at the kitchen table trying to figure out her homework.

Which Joel and Tommy were no help with.

“When would I ever need this shit?”

“Ellie,” Joel sighed. “Language.”

“When would I ever need this stuff?”

Joel nodded. “Better.” Then he turned to Tommy.

“Don’t ask me. I don’t know how a fucking thing is taught anymore.”

“Well do you know who does?” Ellie asked.

“Can’t you ask your teacher?” Joel asked but Ellie shook her head. “Why not?”

“She’s…scary.”

Joel held back a laugh. “She’s scary?”

Ellie didn’t know how else to put it. “She got mad because I didn’t do fractions how she wanted me, too.”

“Did you get the right answer?”

She nodded. “Still got mad though.”

Joel looked to Tommy. “How can fractions change?”

Tommy shrugged. “Beats me. But I do think I know someone who might be able to help. Promise they’re not scary. She tutors a couple of the kids in the square. I can ask if she can drop by later on.”

“Really?”

Tommy nodded. “Sure, kid.”

It was a day later when Joel got a knock to his front door and found you standing there.

“What the fuck are you-”

You held back your smile. “Doing here? Guess I just wanted to hear your voice again.”

Joel wasn’t amused. You held your hand up. “I’m just here to help your daughter. Trouble with homework?”

“You’re the tutor?”

You nodded. “I’m the tutor.”

“You’re a smuggler.”

“I was a teacher before I was a smuggler.”

Then Ellie’s voice called out. “Joel! Who is it?”

Ellie appeared by his side, holding the door open wider. “Oh, hi.”

“Ellie, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“I’m Y/n. I’m, hopefully,” you looked from Joel and back to Ellie, “going to be your new tutor.”

“Promise you won’t get mad if I don’t do it your way?”

You nodded. “A lot of kids, and parents, learn differently from the way your teacher wants people to learn. Promise I won’t get mad.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Then Ellie looked at her dad and nudged him. “Joel…”

“What?”

“Let her in. I need her help.”

Reluctantly, Joel let you inside your home. “Come on, kitchen’s this way.”

You followed Ellie through her home and towards where she’d set up her homework station and you sat opposite her whilst Joel brought in a couple of old items from the garage outside and laid them on the kitchen island.

By the looks of it, the things he was ‘fixing’, weren’t in desperate necessity of a new working life. Especially considering he only ‘worked’ on them when you looked in his direction.

“Is he always like this?” You whispered to Ellie across the table. Ellie looked to her dad.

“Sometimes. Do you two know each other or something?”

You nodded. “Or something.”

“Aren’t you meant to be talking about contemporary…normal…analytics or something.”

You looked at Joel and smiled. “Or something.” Then you turned back to Ellie when he finally looked you in the eye.

“Let’s try the next line.”

You were in Joel’s home for another hour before you looked at your watch. “I’ve got to go, but I run a small class in the dance hall every Tuesday if you want to join us next week? I think you’d find it fun. You don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. But it can provide some good insight into what you’re doing at school.”

“Why can’t you be one of the teachers?”

You laughed. “I’ve got my hands full helping others in town. But if your teacher is ever sick, I’ll step in.”

Ellie thought she already knew the answer. “How often does that happen?”

“Not very often.”

Ellie grimaced.

“But still, come on Tuesday. And if you hate it, you don’t have to come again.”

“Okay.”

Joel stood. “I’ll walk you out.”

And he did so, walking you to the end of his driveway towards your truck. “Thank you, for helping her.”

You shook your head. “Don’t mention it.”

“This doesn’t mean we’re okay.”

You gave a flat smile. “Joel, I’m just helping your daughter. We don’t even have to interact outside of you dropping her off at my classes in the week. I get you don’t like me, but that doesn’t mean you have to actively hate me. I’m just trying to help.”

“Like you helped me in Boston?”

You didn’t say anything in reply to that. “Goodnight, Joel. Give Ellie this.”

He opened the paper. “What is it?”

“It’s a schedule. And my radio code. If she needs my help, she knows where to find me.”

You and Joel didn’t talk much, if at all, after that. Ellie attended your classes when they were on and much to his chagrin, Ellie had found a friend in you.

Why was it out of all the people, in all the towns, in all the worlds, it had to be Jackson where you were? And why did you have to be one of the first people Ellie made friends with?

But one afternoon as he was sitting by the kitchen table, tuning up his guitar, he got a sense of deja vu.

The radio in the corner of the kitchen crackled and your voice sounded through its speakers.

“Why are you calling?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice.” You replied. “Joel, it’s Ellie.”

His heart dropped. “What? Is she okay?” He’d completely forgotten she was with you after school before she’d head to the bar to walk up with Tommy.

“She’s fine, but I think you should come down here. She needs her dad.”

Joel was inside the barn hall calling out for you and Ellie when he entered one of the back rooms that had your name and a large poster that looked like it had been decorated by some of the school kids taped on the outside.

As Joel walked inside, he found you and Ellie sat on a bench, your arm over her shoulder. And when you saw him, you whispered something to Ellie before she looked around and found Joel.

Immediately, she ran over to him and crushed him with a hug. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Babygirl, I’ve got you. What happened?”

Joel managed to pull away a little so he could get a look at her face. “What’s going on?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Joel, can I speak to you for a moment? Ellie, want to grab your things?”

Ellie looked to you and nodded, forcing herself from Joel’s embrace as she walked back to the bench to grab her bag and books.

“What’s going on?”

You sighed and spoke quietly. “It’s best if you ask Ellie about it but some asshole kid made a comment about Ellie and she stood her ground. As a teacher, I can’t condone her actions. I can’t condone what the kid said, either. But off the record, she was right to stand up for herself and I’m glad she did.”

Joel had to read between the lines from what you said and once Ellie was back at his side, he gave you a curt nod and headed for the door. He didn’t get any answers from Ellie until the next morning at the breakfast table when, in the open silence of the morning, she finally explained what happened.

“I…I know I’m not your daughter, Joel. But as families go, you’re the closest thing I’ve got to one. Some kid,” Ellie named him. “He said some things about me. About me having a family. A…about…about having a dad. Eventually, I lost it and pinned him to one of the posts and Y/n had to break it up. I…I didn’t stick around after that but she came to find me later. I know I shouldn’t have attacked him. He deserved it but I know I shouldn’t have…I just want to tell you I’m sorry and that if Tommy has to do something or if I have to leave, I will-”

Joel shook his head. “No. No, you did right. And, Ellie?”

She looked at him.

“You’re my daughter in every other way that counts. And if you want me to be your dad…I know we’re not blood but, if you see me as your dad…if you say I’m your dad, that’s okay. You’re my family, too.”

Ellie didn’t know what to say exactly so, looking down at her hands, she nodded trying to will the tears away. “Mmh, y-yeah. I…I’d like that.”

Then Joel smiled before standing and cradling his arms around his daughter. “And you don’t have to leave. Y/n’s on your side, too.”

“You really should be nicer to her. She’s a good person, Joel. I know something happened back in Boston but…are you going to hold it against her forever?”

Joel thought about it for a while. He probably would be thinking about it for a while longer, too. You had done what you had said. You had helped. You were helping.

“How about I make us some breakfast? Eggs?”

Ellie nodded.

Joel stood with a smile, kissing the top of her head quickly before turning around. “Sunny side up or scrambled?”

“Scrambled.”

“Coming up. You brushed your teeth?”

Ellie shook her head and stood. “I’ll be back.”

Just as she got to the kitchen entrance, she stopped herself and turned back. “Hey…dad?”

Joel turned around to face her as if it was the most natural thing in the world until he realised what she’d finally called him. “Yeah?”

Ellie let the moment settle. “Thank you.”

Joel just nodded before waving the spatula at her. “Go on, brush your teeth. And maybe run a brush through your hair.”

Ellie laughed a little before disappearing upstairs leaving Joel to finish cooking breakfast with a faint smile on his face. Never in his whole life had he ever imagined hearing someone call him “dad” again, but it washed over him like a fresh wave.

Then he remembered what she had told him.

What Ellie had said about you.

He never thought he’d be called “dad” again. Maybe some things could change for the better after all. He’d just need to learn to trust you more. Trust you in a way that didn’t have the end result be the same as Boston.

It took Joel a week to approach you.

During that week, you saw him across the square. He walked her to your lessons and waited for her every day. By day four, he stood a little closer to the building until one afternoon, when you thought everyone had left, his voice rang through your classroom.

No “hello”, no coughing, no calling of your name to get your attention. Just…

“Thank you.”

You internally swore at yourself for jumping the way you did. Looking around the room, your brain let itself relax when you realised you were correct in your initial thought of who the voice belonged to. Not the rest of the people your head named after him.

“Joel.” You breathed, a hand against your chest. Then you fixed yourself.

Standing straighter with a couple books cradled in your arm, you turned and faced him properly.

Joel felt a little awkward but considering you seemed to not mention how he’d scared you, he didn’t bother to mention it either.

“Thank you,” he repeated. “Ellie..told me how you helped her, so I just…didn’t want it to go unnoticed.”

Never in your life had you heard Joel say so much as a nice thing towards you. To others, it was few and far between. But to you; not so much.

You didn’t know how to take it exactly. “I appreciate that, I do. But that’s not why I did it.”

Ellie had told him the rest of the story when she came back downstairs for breakfast. How you’d broken up the fight, called out the student and warned the rest of the class before dismissing them. And how you’d spoken to her when you found her. You didn’t make her feel scared or “shit” as Ellie had put it every so gracefully to him. And if he was being honest, Ellie’s love for actual school was much better even just after a few weeks with you.

“She’s a good kid, Joel.” You told him. “I don’t pretend to know what either of you went through to get here. But despite whatever did happen, she’s a good kid. She, nor anyone else, deserved to be treated the way she did. She stood up for herself and I’m proud of her for that. And I hope you are, too.”

Joel could only nod. “I am.”

You nodded in agreement. “Good.” You went to turn away to collect the rest of the books but then quickly turned back around. “Oh, here. Let me give you this.”

Joel was about to walk himself before you called out so, standing in the middle of the room a little worried about what you were going to give him, he watched as you rushed towards your desk and picked up a piece of paper.

Walking over, you held it out to him. “We’re having a parent-teacher night next week. Just gives the parents a chance to talk about the kids and see their work for this year. They say it’s mandatory but I do hope you’ll show up.”

Rubbing his jaw, Joel read the page. “Sure.”

“Good. Don’t tell Ellie but I plan on showing a couple of her school books. She’s a smart kid.”

“Smart mouth, too.”

You laughed a little. “That, too.”

But all in all Joel agreed. “I’ll be there.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

“Yeah, night.” Joel reminded himself that he had to leave and finally made his way towards the door.

Yet he stopped by the door and looked back to where you went back to collecting the rest of the books and he couldn’t help but feel his mind was changing on you. He couldn’t place why but the fact Ellie liked you was a start.

By the time Parent-Teacher night rolled around, Joel found himself being bossed around by Ellie as he got dressed.

“Put on the green one!” Ellie shouted up the stairs.

“What?”

“The green shirt. Put that one on.”

“Why?”

“Just do it!”

Joel grumbled but did as he was told. And once he was showered and dressed, Ellie practically shoved him out of the door. “Come on, we’re gonna be late!”

“Since when did you become so eager to get to school? I usually have to drag you out of bed.”

“I know but tonight’s important.” Ellie laughed. “Come on.”

Joel found himself laughing, too as he locked up before they both headed towards his truck. Maybe they could have walked but Joel had a feeling by the time the night had finished, Ellie would be about ready to fall asleep.

And when they did finally walk inside, Joel looked around before he spotted a familiar face in you. And then you spotted him and waved. Ellie waved back.

Then Joel was greeted by Ellie’s teacher. You chuckled as you watched them both step back and recoil a little. Like father, like daughter.

“Fuck.” They both swore under their breath.

“Mr Miller.”

Joel started getting flashbacks of his middle school principal who seemed to have a vendetta against him and Tommy.

“Ellie.”

Ellie nodded, moving to stand behind Joel a little. “Mrs Davis.”

“Mr Miller, I was hoping to speak to you about Ellie. She’s been, let’s say, a little harsh in her language since she got here. And, despite her improving grades, she hadn’t quite been grasping the concept of how we complete work-”

Joel and Ellie got another shock when you suddenly appeared from behind Mrs Davis, except this was one of pleasant surprises.

“Mrs Davis-”

“Please, do not interrupt-”

“Frankie’s parents are asking to speak to you personally.” That seemed to change Mrs Davis’ tune.

“Oh, right. Um, please…please excuse me.” You pointed her in the direction of Frankie and his parents and replaced where she stood and only spoke when she was finally out of ear-shot.

“Sorry about her. And please ignore everything she said.”

Joel raised his brow. “Everything?”

You both looked at Ellie and then back at each other. “Okay, maybe not everything. But she has been swearing less.”

Joel gave a ‘dad’ look to Ellie but she tried to hold back her smile as she held up her hands. “Hey, she said less.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Ellie, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve decided to show some of your work.”

“Really?”

She seemed shocked, rather than horrified. You nodded. “Both of you follow me?”

They did and once you’d all reach one of the middle tables, you held one of the books out to Joel.

“Holy shit.” Ellie whispered. Joel nearly shut the book to give her another look but she apologised and studied the books you’d laid out.

“Ellie, do you mind giving your dad and I a minute?”

Ellie looked between you both before giving a slight smile and nodding. “Okay.”

Then she disappeared into the crowd.

“How is she?” Joel asked, looking through Ellie’s books.

“She’s good. The swearing could use a bit of an improvement,” you smiled a little and Joel finally met your eyes. You tried your best to avoid taking a mental picture or keeping a written memory of how he looked. “She’s doing well, Joel. She’s even starting to make friends. It’s taking her a while to trust people, but she’s getting there like the rest of us.”

Joel’s stare softened for a moment.

You forced yourself to look away and back at her books. “She needs a bit of help with her maths and science but we’re working on that in our sessions. But she’s excelling at history.”

“There’s a museum not too far away. I was thinking about taking her to see it.”

You graced him with another smile. “I think she’d really enjoy that, Joel.”

He nodded, feeling pleased at your agreement.

“Look, I just need to go and speak to a couple other parents but, feel free to stay here as long as you’d like. We…we have the kids write in a diary every week. Just jotting down what they want to work on, or what they want help with in class. Some kids even write short stories and things. I think you’d like what Ellie did.”

Lifting the diary from underneath the pile, you handed it over to Joel.

“Last couple of pages.”

With a smile, you left him alone.

Joel opened it up. There was the usual. Reviews of books they’d read in class. What Ellie wanted help with (science), what she enjoyed (history). Joel found himself smiling as he read through the comments. He could hear her voice in his head as he did so.

Then he got to the back couple of pages.

It was different sketches of their home. Of their windows, porch, backyard. Then small notes; things he’d told her. Things to remember when playing the guitar, how to fix the porch, what things are in a car. Just small notes of information she believed important to her.

You didn’t know how long you’d left Joel to fend for himself. You knew the minute he walked in that all the single moms had their radars switched on. They already tried to get his attention whenever he walked past the school during the day. But this Joel was freshly showered and wasn’t covered in layers of heavy clothing. He had a green shirt that made his eyes stand out more than usual, his hair softening as it dried in the warmth of the building.

You didn’t know how long you’d left him alone, knowing it wouldn’t take long for the single moms to make their move. But when you were wading deep through double digits of parent-talks, Ellie came and found you.

“I think Joel needs your help.”

You saw when Ellie was looking and held back a short laugh. As Joel managed to get out of the grasp of one woman, another one popped up out of nowhere. And then another one. And another. And another.

“I tried but they kinda swarmed over and I got pushed out of the crowd.”

You chuckled watching the comedy play out in front of your eyes as Joel tried his best to escape.

“Okay, give me a minute.”

“I think it’ll take longer than that but, good luck.”

Making your way over, you called out to him before forcing yourself through the crowd. A few women were about to scold you for doing so until they realised it was you. The teacher. Apparently in search of Joel, the parent.

“Help me.”

Taking Joel by the hand, you drew him in front of you before taking him by the shoulders. “Sorry, ladies but I need to talk with Mr Miller for a moment.”

Practically directing him out of the crowd, you beckoned Ellie over and she immediately pushed around the crowd to get to both you and Joel. You and Ellie looked back to find the women still standing waiting for him to come back.

“I don’t know about you two but I could use a drink.”

“Yes.” Ellie agreed completely.

“Don’t you have work?”

“I’ve spoken to enough parents tonight. Mrs Davis will only speak to them after me anyway. Want that drink, or would you like for me to throw you back into the pack?”

“Anything but the second one.”

“Can I have one?”

“No.” Both you and Joel said before he added. “You can have a soda.”

Grabbing your bag, you showed Joel and Ellie to the back door of the school and you all took the long way round the building to get towards the bar.

“I’ll go and tell Tommy you’re coming.” Ellie took off running. Joel tried to shout back but she just called back.

“Be safe! I know!”

“That kid is gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

You laughed, slowing your steps as you and Joel were finally far enough away from the school.

“Thank you for showing me her work. And the other stuff. Kinda made my night.”

“It wasn’t the single moms asking you a thousand questions that did it?”

Joel chuckled. “Thanks for that, too.”

“Oh, you’ll need to thank Ellie for that one. She came and got me. Who knows, if she didn’t, you could have drowned in phone numbers and radio stations.”

Joel tried his best to laugh it off. But you disagreed.

“Don’t knock it. Hot and handsome single dads are few and far between in this town.”

Joel couldn’t help but repeat your words. “Hot and handsome.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your slight embarrassment of letting your inner thoughts slip. “Alright.”

“No, no. Please. Tell me more of these hot and handsome single dads.”

“You’re hilarious. I hope you know how funny you are.”

“Why?” Joel asked. “Does that make me hotter?”

You rolled your eyes, trying your best to hide your smile. “Okay. Don’t let it go to your head, Miller.”

“Too late. It’s already there.” Joel reached for the door handle of the bar and held it open for you. “Come on.”

“Thanks.”

Entering, you found the place a little quieter than usual before you both met Ellie at the bar and Tommy made his way over.

“Here you go.”

“I already ordered for you.” Ellie told you both. “I didn’t know what you drank but Tommy said he remembered.”

You thanked them both before accepting Joel’s invitation to sit with them at the bar. Joel sat in the corner, his back resting against the wall whilst you sat between both him and Ellie as she moved up quickly before you could take your original seat.

And for the first time, you both talked.

At first, it was just about a few things around town. Joel asked you about how you got into teaching, or at least, why you taught tutor sessions but not lessons at the school. You told him the truth. Day one of you arriving here and meeting Mrs Davis, you knew you didn’t want to be dictated by her rules that were already scaring the kids enough into thinking they were back with FEDRA. They needed help learning and a safe space to do so. That was where you could help.

Then you told him you were sorry about Tess. He tensed for a while, unsure of what to say or how to react.

“I know she meant a lot to you.”

Conversation flowed for a little while longer than a distraction was provided as Ellie disappeared to the toilet and a group of moms walked in through the front door.

Then Joel ducked and somehow tried to shrink himself in the corner of the bar. “Shit.”

You laughed. “Oh please, they won’t hate you for it. In fact it just adds to the chasing element. More than anything they’ll be hating me for dragging you away for some ‘alone time’.”

“Why? Because I’m hot and handsome?”

“I regret saying it now.”

“They’re your words, Darlin’.”

You tried to ignore what his words and accent did to you, and tried to focus on the fact that one of the moms was making their way towards both of you.

“Where’s Ellie?”

“There was a line, she’s probably still in it.” You told him. “Relax, once she comes out, she’ll see that you’re uncomfortable and you can both go home.”

“You can see I’m uncomfortable.”

“Joel.” You leveled with him. “You look like you’re about to run out of your own skin. How could you have been a smuggler in the QZ for so long but be scared of a single mom? Just talked to her.”

“Where are you going?”

You were about to leave when Joel reached out for you. “Going to get Ellie.”

Joel looked at the mom making her way over. She was getting closer. “You said it yourself that she’ll be able to see we’re uncomfortable.”

“We’re?” You questioned. “Joel-”

But you couldn’t say anymore than that because the mom had arrived beside both of you and Joel had tugged you back by your shirt to stand with him.

“Emma, hi.”

She smiled at both of you. “Hi, um, I was wondering if I could speak to Joel. We didn’t really get a chance to finish our conversation since, you know, you came and kinda dragged him away.”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “Sorry about that, it’s just…” You looked at Joel hoping he’d maybe butt into the conversation. “We had to talk about his daughter.”

“I didn’t see you leaving with any of the other parents,” she mentioned to you.

Joel finally spoke up after clearing his throat. “I, uh, well, Ellie actually…invited her out with us.”

“Ellie did?” Emma seemed shocked.

“I did what?”

Both you and Joel seemed more than relieved to see her appear from behind Emma.

Emma looked from Ellie to Joel and then to you, back to Ellie and then she smiled. “I was just hoping to talk with your dad for a minute if that’s okay?”

Taking a quick look at her dad to see him subtly shake his head, Ellie half-faked a yawn.

“We were actually just about to leave.”

“But your drink is still half full.”

“That’s, uh, that’s Tommy’s. Anyway, we’d better be off. Ellie?”

As they got halfway to the door, you called after them, making something up to Emma. “I need to tell you about next week’s homework-”

The doors shut behind you and you rushed to join Joel and Ellie.

“Who was she?” Ellie asked.

“A woman.”

“She was trying to hit on Joel.”

Ellie looked at you. “Hit on Joel or hit you to get to Joel?”

“Both probably.”

Then something strange happened. You and Joel looked at each other and then started to laugh.

On the way back to the school, you explained to Ellie everything that had happened and she started to laugh with both of you before swearing to protect Joel when and where he needed to be.

“Hey, can I drop you off home?”

You hitched a thumb over your shoulder. “I’m just down here. But thanks.”

Then from the car Ellie called out. “Dad! Let’s go!”

Joel laughed and looked back at you where he found a light smile on your face. He tried to ignore what it made him feel.

“You better go, before she comes to hit me to get to you.”

Joel nodded, laughing a little at that. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Joel.”

As Joel drove back home, Ellie quickly falling asleep in the passenger seat, but not before saying; “I told you she was a good person.” leaving him to roll his eyes lightly and agree, he found himself thinking over what he had been feeling since he saw you show up beside Mrs Davis.

Maybe his feelings for you were starting to change more than he had expected.

And they only continued to change over the following months.

Three months later, Joel found himself as your actual friend. Between your tutoring sessions with Ellie, and being forced to work together by Tommy when he was a couple hands short for a couple jobs that needed doing around town, you’d both become friends.

And he’d learnt to trust you. And you had learnt to trust him.

From running the lunch tables in the school every Tuesday and Thursday and Friday together, to taking on a couple of patrol shifts on the weekends together, you and Joel earned each other's trust.

And between all of that, you had somehow become Joel’s shield from the rest of the single mothers in the town that did not wish to hide their already obvious crush on Joel.

Until that shield began to crack.

“I heard she left them for dead. Why would anyone want to be with someone like that…he deserves so much better.”

“Left them for dead, more like killed them for everything. And for what? So she can come and teach our kids and steal our men.”

“I’ve tried talking to Maria but she must have her claws in her, too. She doesn’t want to listen to reason. Joel doesn’t deserve her. Nobody does. The stories people tell. And she doesn’t deny them.”

Tommy leaned over the bar. “Don’t listen to them.”

“Hard not to when gossip about you changes every hour.”

“Have you even told Joel what happened?”

You shook your head.

“Why not?”

“I’m happy where I’m at with him. I’m able to help Ellie without her dad wishing me dead because I bailed on a trade.”

Tommy didn’t have the chance to reply because another mom came and sat beside you. “He doesn’t deserve you, you know. He has the choice of a lot of women in this town, and he chooses you? Why?”

You sighed. “Like I told Emma, and Ashely and Tracy and every other mom in your friend group. Joel and I are not dating. We are not a thing. If you want to talk to him, then go ahead but do not blame me for something that I am not doing. And if Joel doesn’t want to talk to you, then maybe take the hint.”

“Why wouldn’t he want to talk to us? What have you been telling him?”

You looked across the bar and shouted to Tommy. “Schedule’s in the glasses!”

“Oh, okay. Thanks!”

And you stood up. But the mom gripped onto your arm to stop you from walking away.

“We know the truth about you and sooner or later, he’ll come to his senses.”

Ripping your arm from her grasp, you made your way out of the doors and down the square. As much and as hard as you tried to forget what she had said, the stories, the gossip and what she had said to you continued to play on your mind.

But a week later, none of that mattered. At least for you. For Joel and Ellie, it meant something different.

When Joel had gotten up that morning, he went about his routine. Getting into the shower, getting dressed, waking Ellie up, getting his work gear ready, knocking on Ellie’s door once again, making breakfast, knocking on her door a third time before she swung it open and stumbled out of her bedroom and into the bathroom. Eating breakfast with his daughter before driving her to school and heading to work.

Except, when he finished work and went to pick Ellie up from the group tutor session after school, he found her sitting outside the doors already waiting for him.

“How was school?”

“Y/n didn’t turn up.”

Joel was confused. “What?”

“I waited for her to, but she didn’t.”

Joel checked the radio. “Did she cancel the session?”

Ellie shook her head. “We were meant to go over the new science homework.”

“Did you try to find Tommy?”

“Couldn’t find him. The dude in the bar said he was on patrol.”

Joel hummed, trying his best to make sure his mind remained focused. Maybe you’d just gotten caught up doing another job. You wouldn’t have forgotten about the kids.

But before he could drive away, there was an uproar of noise coming from the main gates where Tommy rode in as quickly as he could before coming to an abrupt halt.

“What’s going on?”

Joel switched off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Stay here.”

Ellie did as she was told but wound down the widow in hopes she’d be able to hear what was being said.

“Tommy!”

“Joel! I don’t know what happened but-”

“Who is it?”

Then Tommy went from frantic to unnaturally calm. “It’s Y/n.”

Then Joel saw and slowly made his way over. Your body was slung over the back of a horse before being dragged onto a stretcher. And for a second, Joel saw the worst. He thought you were dead.

“She should be okay if we can get her fixed.”

“What happened? Tommy!”

Tommy joined his brother as you were taken away. “I-I don’t know. She was covering a shift. We were meant to be back an hour ago. But when she didn’t turn up with her partner, I went to look for her. I just found her like that.”

“Dad?” Ellie had gotten out of the car.

“Get back in the car!”

“But-”

“Now, Ellie.”

She just nodded and made her way back.

“Go home, Joel. There’s nothing you can do for her right now.” Those were Tommy’s last words before Maria came running out of one of the town buildings and towards her husband whose hands were covered in patches of blood.

“Is she going to be okay?” Ellie asked, her face pale, as Joel got back into the truck.

“I don’t know.”

You spent the next three days unconscious and Joel spent his time trying to work out what had happened and why. You hadn’t been bitten. You’d been shot.

Joel had also spent three days hearing the whispers around town, hoping to hear any updates on your condition. He couldn’t bring himself to go and see you, and neither could Ellie.

But rather than updates, he heard…stories.

“It’s karma, though, don’t you think?”

“What they say about her? Everything she did? Maybe someone came to get revenge.”

“Maybe it was just self-defence.”

“Would she really do that here?”

“Maybe one of them followed her here and waited for her. After all, she never volunteered for that job.”

“Would you, though? Hunting those things? I couldn’t do it.”

“She's probably just looking for some sympathy. Not getting anywhere with Tommy’s brother – I heard they’ve got a past.”

“A past or a past? Because if I had a past with that man, I’d be making sure it was present and future, too.”

“Would you shoot yourself to make sure of that?”

The woman laughed. “Honey, for a piece of him? I’d do almost anything.”

Over the days, he heard more than just that. Of stories about you and your past before you came to Wyoming. Some were nicer than others, but many were…if he hadn’t somehow become your friend over the last few months, he would have been saying the same thing. So…was it still the same? Were you still hiding something? He still didn’t know what had happened back in Boston. All he knew was that you had practically disappeared off the face of the earth.

When people like you sold his trade, it was usually to someone else. But he hadn’t heard anything. No extra sale. No new traders. Just complete silence.

He had thought about asking you a few times. Part of him, he guessed, still didn’t trust you. Especially since Ellie was now involved, too.

It wasn’t until a week later that Joel could bring himself to come and see you. They’d placed you inside the doctor’s surgery. You still hadn’t woken up but the doctors that were in the town seemed a little more hopeful for you pulling through.

“She’s still young, her body should heal like it did before.”

Joel had to do a double take. “Before?”

The doctor nodded and rested the chart at the end of the bed. “When she arrived here, she collapsed just outside the gates. Thankfully, I was on patrol that day – otherwise they would have shot her. They thought she’d been bitten but…”

The doctor gave a heavy sigh and they both looked back at you before he continued. Joel looked back at the doctor.

“I’ve seen enough of those bites in my life to know the difference between that and a bullet wound.”

“D’you know who shot her?”

The doctor shook his head. “She never could bring herself to tell me. But when Tommy walked in, she looked like she’d pass out again. She didn’t talk for three days after that…then…one day she just opened up. Tommy was the only one she’d talk to and I’d figure he’s the only one who knows that whole story.”

If his brother knew the whole story, why didn’t he ever say anything?

“I suspect she’ll be waking up soon, ‘might be nice if someone is here this time.”

Joel just nodded after a while, realising what the Doctor was asking of him. He’d stay. You were alone last time. You were probably terrified to go through what you did for, as far as he knew, a second time. You shouldn’t have to be alone when you’d wake up, too.

Except, as he sat by your bed, he’d gathered more questions in his head than he had answers.

It took you a while before you could bring yourself to open your eyes, almost like you’d had the deepest sleep of your life and you weren’t ready to get up yet. Beneath your hands and legs you became familiar with the feeling of bedsheets.

Slowly your fingertips felt for some kind of grip. Some kind of notion that you weren’t still left in the dirt, buried between the trees and moss alone. One hand provided you relief. Bedsheets. The other…

Opening your eyes, the brightness cut through your vision until you finally blinked them open and found Joel’s hand in yours.

Carefully looking around the room, you recognised where you were. Only, the last time you were in the same bed, in the same room, you had woken to find yourself alone.

“Take it easy. Tommy…he found you and brought you back.”

You swallowed but your throat felt like it had been attacked by a grater. “How…how long have I been out?”

“Little over a week.”

You relaxed back into the pillows and closed your eyes, forgetting your hand was enclosed in Joel’s.

“Do you remember what happened?”

It took you a moment but you eventually nodded. “The doc…he told me this isn’t the first time you’ve been shot…”

Opening your eyes, your gaze met Joel’s. He looked curious…concerned.

“What happened before you got here?” You waited for his true question. And you didn’t have to wait long.

“What happened back in Boston?”

You figured he’d ask you one day. You just hadn’t expected it to be like this. Joel let you take your time. Blinking back the oncoming tears. Trying to control your breathing. Trying to control your fears from hitting you at full force.

“I was with my team.” You took your time explaining what had happened. When you’d realised Tommy was Joel’s brother, you explained what you could to him. You could deal with Joel hating you for what you’d done. You would have felt the same. But you didn’t want the one place you might have been able to call a home to be thrown away on conspiracy.

“We’d run the route a thousand times. I’d done it on my own for years. But, one night it just poured with rain. Buckets and buckets could have been filled. I remember finding new lakes in parks when I got out, but…umm…”

You swallowed thickly and bit back the tears.

“We were only a couple miles out of Boston so we found shelter. Checked it over. It was clear. We would have been safe for the night. A couple of us stayed on watch for a while but I must have fallen asleep,” tears came to your eyes and a few escaped down your cheeks. “Because…”

You didn’t know where from but you gathered enough strength to bring your voice back, even if only for a short moment.

“Because when I woke, half of my team was missing. A couple of our supplies had been thrown around the place. Grabbed my gun, woke the others and started searching the building. We found the rest of our team on one of the upper floors. One…one of my guys got bit. But he didn’t want to…he didn’t want to die. He’d convinced himself he wasn’t infected and when the others saw, I guess they tried to do something about it but he got…he got one over on them.”

Joel waited for you to continue but then noticed the twitching in your side. You sat up quickly and tried to lift your t-shirt. “It…ahh.”

You closed your eyes from the pain and squeezed Joel’s hand just before he stood up and reached for some of the balm the doctor had made and left by your bedside.

Rounding the bed, Joel sat beside you. “Come here.”

“Joel, it hurts.”

“I know, I know. Can I lift your shirt?”

You nodded and hummed in pain, letting his fingers slowly lift it up. “This might sting, but it’s gonna help.”

You heard Joel open up a metal screw-top tin before he gathered some of it on his fingers and rubbed it gently around and over your healing wound. You let out a small gasp and covered grunt in pain as the hand that had previously been closed in reached for his arm.

“I’m sorry. I know.”

You tried to concentrate on Joel’s continuous movements as he rubbed the balm into your skin. It was less itchy, and it was cooling down a little. The pain in your side was still there but it was becoming bearable.

“The infection came over him pretty quickly.” Joel’s fingers stalled for a moment before he continued, making sure he wasn’t causing more harm than good.

You could finally open your eyes again.

“It all happened so fast. I guess one of us moved and before I knew it…bullets were flying everywhere. I must have gotten caught in them then, but I can’t be sure. I just started shooting and he dropped the gun but then…Joel, he started biting. And I just…I didn’t know what to do. People were trying to help him, trying to help those he was attacking. I just fired. For a moment I thought I could get him out, maybe lose him outside and get back in time. Find another way to you. But he was too fast.”

As your tears fell down your cheek, you hadn’t realised Joel had stopped rubbing the balm into your side and was holding you steady whilst his hand held your face, his thumb tracing the tears away.

You finally looked at him. “I shot them all, Joel. He’d bitten them all. Some in the neck, others in the arm. A few hours and my team that knew every smuggling route, that knew every way into a QZ without being detected, that…that were my family. I tried to wait. Hoped that maybe it was just a bullet graze. That they’d be okay but…just as one turned, so did the others…”

Joel didn’t know fully what to do. If he had known…

He pulled you close to him, kissing your temple before holding you against him. You didn’t know how long he held you for, but you knew he never let you go. He never left your side. He didn’t even try to.

“I don’t know how long it was before I radioed through to you. All I remember was seeing a lot of blood on the floor and wondering why it was down my clothes. But I was glad to hear your voice. Even if you did hate me for bailing on you.” You eventually explained. “I’d managed to get some supplies to take with me. Fixed what I could of my wounds and prayed I’d make it some place. For a while I was okay, my wound was healing. But then I guess I ran into the wrong people. Some guy decided to start firing and I got hit again. I don’t know how long I ran for but the last thing I remembered was hearing horses.”

“Does Tommy know all of this?”

“Parts, but not all.”

Joel wondered whether or not he should tell you about what he’d heard over the last few days. “People…they’ve been talking since you came back…what happened when you went out?”

You shook your head. “I don’t know. I just remember hitting something and then a sharp pain. I told my partner to meet me at the bottom of the hill. Guess the others finished the same as him.”

“What do you want me to tell Ellie?”

“Just tell her I’ll be okay. She doesn’t need to know the whole story yet.”

“Too late.”

Joel and you looked towards the door and found Ellie standing in the hallway. “Mrs Davis let us out early. I wanted to come and see you. And…I’m glad you’re okay. And as far as I’m concerned, everyone can go fuck themselves.”

“Ellie. What have I told you about eavesdropping?” Joel asked her as she walked inside.

“Not…to do it.” She answered slowly. “But you know I’m right. You’ve heard the stories, too.”

“Stories?”

Joel sighed and turned back to you. “People in this town…they’ve got nothing better to do but gossip about what happened to you before you came here.”

Ellie jumped into the chair where Joel had previously been sat. “Yeah, and some of em’ are wild.”

You looked between her and Joel. “Like what?”

Joel looked from his daughter to you and sighed. “Most of them aren’t so nice, but…” Silently, Joel gave his permission to Ellie to tell you.

“There’s one that says you’re some bigwigs daughter who ran away to run his kingdom but then you got overthrown by a rebel group so now you’re waiting here before you can take your kingdom back over.”

You raised your brows. “Wow.”

“And someone else has said you’re actually a fortune teller that is secretly training us to help you and your psychic army to take over the cordyceps and make them human again.”

That one made you laugh a little.

“People have nothing better to do with their time.” Joel told you.

You shook your head. “It’s okay. The people…” you looked at Joel and Ellie. “The people that need to know the truth already know. Nobody else matters.”

Joel smiled at you before looking over at his daughter. “Go and find the doc so he can look her over.”

Ellie nodded before pulling herself out of the chair and spinning out of the door. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Y/n.”

You smiled before looking back at Joel finding him looking at you, too. Then you found your fingers tracing his own.

“I’m really glad you were here with me when I woke up.”

Joel smiled before lifting his hand and lightly brushing the few stray hairs from your face before his eyes found yours.

“Guess I just wanted to be the first to hear your voice.”

You smiled, hearing your own words echoed back to you from him. You leaned into his touch before you felt yourself lean forward a little only to have his lips meet yours in a tender kiss.

With a little confidence growing around your heart, you leaned in a little closer, feeling Joel’s fingers dig a little into your hair as he pulled you closer, and into a deeper kiss.

“Hey, the kid told me- whoa.” Tommy stalled in his tracks and covered his eyes. “Uh, sorry. I…I guess you’re okay. Uh, yeah. I-I’m just gonna-”

Tommy looked around himself, making sure the door he came through was still there and accessible for him to leave through it. “Good–Good door frame job.” He tapped it twice. “I-I’ll remember to knock on next time.”

You chuckled a little, leaning into Joel the same as he did with you as he watched his brother become 12 again and leave through the door.

“I guess we should wait until we’re actually alone before Ellie comes running through her and gets the shock of her life.”

Joel chuckled. “I guess you’re right.”

But he couldn’t help himself. Kissing you once more, you both made sure to listen out for the jingle of the door and when you did, Joel made sure to sit up a little as you leaned back. However, your hand remained in his, his thumb brushing continuously over your knuckles. He pressed a quick kiss to them before Ellie appeared through the door with the doctor who seemed more than relieved to see you awake and alive.

Maybe when you and Joel had met, you were the furthest thing from friends. But now, with a developing connection and deeper feelings, you found yourselves moving further from friends, but in the opposite direction.

Towards happiness.

Towards love.

Towards the light.

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callmelittlebuttercup · 7 months ago

Text

Peace Offerings Pt. 14

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Chapter Summary: In the previous chapter, Reader was separated from Joel and placed her trust into another member of the group to find their way to him. When they stop into a house to find food and shelter, they run into a man named David and things take a turn for the worst.

Chapter warnings: MDNI 18+, Jackson! au, No Ellie! au, extreme angst, cannibalism, mentions of murder/death/loss, suicidal ideation, cursing, attempted SA, Reader is locked in a cage, broken bones, Reader is knocked out with chloroform.... lmk if i missed any other fun things! :)

Masterlist

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Part Fourteen

I didn’t know what to do. In the new world, it wasn’t a custom to politely introduce yourself anymore. Usually you’d hold a gun up and pray they wouldn’t shoot you first, but this man was standing in front of me and holding his hand out to shake. It felt completely unnatural. I couldn’t help but wonder what Joe would do in this situation. I concluded that he definitely would not shake the man’s hand, so I backed away and stood with my hands crossed over my chest. “Hello David.” I said, trying to sound as intimidating as possible, “To what do I owe the pleasure?” He chuckled lightly and began to pace across the living room, “Well, you see… You and your friend have wandered into my commune, and I take the safety of my people very seriously. I need to be sure you’re not a threat.” I swallowed. Commune was a scary word, and made the man’s welcoming, yet unsettling demeanor make sense. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was dealing with a cult leader of some sort. If so, I had to get out of there, and fast. “Look, David, I can assure you that my friend and I are not a threat to your people. We were just passing through the town and hoping to find something to eat along the way.” I explained innocently. He nodded and stared at me as if he was deciphering me like some sort of code. “You’re hungry?” He asked, his voice lacking the enthusiasm it once carried. “Well, I’m okay but my friend is-” The man cut me off, “Well then you must come with me to our mess hall. There’s plenty of food to go around here.” He smiled. My stomach flip flopped, and upon instinct I blurted out a “No thank you.” His smile quickly folded into a frown. “You’re really going to pass up a free meal? Since when has anyone offered you one of those in the past twenty years?” He questioned suavely. He sounded like a salesperson. “I normally wouldn’t, but my friend and I are in a rush to get somewhere. Just point us towards the exit and we won’t be in your hair anymore.” I said. He pressed his lips together and turned to look over his shoulder into the kitchen. “I’m not sure if your friend will be going anywhere anytime soon.” He said wearily as he looked back at me. “Wha-” My question was caught in my throat when I followed his gaze around the corner and caught sight of Jacob who was sprawled across the floor with a knife buried into his neck. My heart began to pound in my chest and the familiar feeling of adrenaline pumped through my veins. I turned back towards David with my fists balled, but suddenly a strong, sweet smell filled my nose as a cloth was pressed against my face. I tried not to breathe, knowing it was a chloroform rag, but it was too late. My fighting slowed as my vision darkened and I fell unconscious.

~~~~~~~~

The sound of a knife hitting wood rythmically slowly pulled me into consciousness. My head pounded and the sweet, alcoholic smell was stuck in my nose. Every limb ached as I examined the small metal cell that encapsulated me. I stopped short when I saw where the noise was coming from. Horror filled my body as a human arm fell to the floor as the figure brought down the cleaver once more. My hand flew to my mouth to push the bile back down my throat. The dizziness from being knocked out caused me to fall back into the metal, causing the rungs to vibrate at the impact. The figure paused momentarily and then called out, “David! She’s awake!” I scrambled to sit up against the furthest side of the cage, ensuring that he had no way to get to me through the bars, and eyed him aggressively as he walked into the room.

“How are you feeling?” David asked as he bent down to my level on the opposite side of my enclosure. My hands were pressed up against my chest, instinctively making myself smaller. “Super.” I blurted. He dropped a tray that he’d been carrying onto the ground and slid it through the gap between the bars and the floor. The gap I wished I was small enough to slip through and disappear. “Here, eat. You’ve been out so long… Must be starving.” He said softly. I stared at the contents of the tray. The majority of it was some kind of meat with a pitiful amount of rice. “What kind of meat is it?” I asked reluctantly. “Deer.” He answered stoicly. I scoffed at his blatant lie and kicked the tray with such force that the contents flew across the cell. Some even landed on his shoe. “You’re a fucking animal.” I grunted through my teeth. He leaned closer to the bars and his lip curled up into a sneer, “Oh… You’re awfully quick to judgement. Considering you and your friends killed how many of my men back at your little camp site?” My mind traveled back to that fight outside the tents. Those were his men? And then it all made sense. He captured me for revenge for killing his precious followers.

“They didn’t give us a choice.” I said emotionlessly. “And you think we have a choice? Is that it? You kill to survive... and so do we. We have to take care of our own. By any means necessary.” He demanded. “So now what? Are you going to chop me into tiny little pieces because I killed a few of your delusonal prospects?” I questioned mockingly. “You killed husbands, fathers, brothers. That is nothing to joke about. But I’d rather not kill you. I figure you telling me your name would help me convince the others not to either.” He said in a dark tone, all while trying to keep his patience. I was sick of being looked at like his next meal so I shakily pulled myself up to stand in the center of the cell. David rose off of his knees and to my eyeline. “I’m not telling you shit. Killing me or doing whatever the fuck you’re going to do is not going to bring back your men, so just let me go.” I demanded as I stepped closer to him. He stood on the other side of the bars unmoving, but his lips curled into an even more threatening sneer. “I’m afraid I can’t do that. See, there’s this saying… ‘an eye for an eye.’ Ever heard it before?” He asked patronizingly. I gulped as I nodded slowly. “Right. Now, four men equals four eyes and unless I’ve counted wrong… you only have two.” My nails dug into the palms of my hands as I waited patiently for him to get to him to get to his point. He moved to the doorway, but continued, “Luckily, your brother counted as two more.”

I hurled myself towards the metal bars, banging and pushing as hard as I could. “What the fuck did you do to him?” I growled at David. He walked over to me and wrapped his hands around the rungs. “Let’s just say… his life will help many others to prosper.” He whispered softly. My heart nearly stopped. Though nearly blinded by anger and adrenaline, I still saw an opportunity and wasted no time as I brought my elbow down onto his knuckles, slamming them onto the horizontal bar below. A loud cracking sound filled the air along with David’s pained scream. I reached through the cell door and ripped the key ring off of his belt loop and it ripped away as David fell to the ground. I kept my eye on him as I immediately began fumbling with the lock. David was snapping out of his pained state, but I was faster, and pushed the door open before sprinting down the hallway.

My coordination was low from the dizziness as I tried to navigate our way through the kitchen and to the nearest exit. We ended up going further into the restaurant and found ourselves in the dining room. “I thought you’d be smarter than to think you’re getting out that easily.” David’s voice called out. I quickly crouched behind a booth and peeked over the seats to see him standing there with a machete hanging from his right hand. After throwing a piece of shrapnel away from me to make sure he was heading the opposite way, I began to move, lunging between boothes to stay out of sight. I neared him and planned to take him from behind with a strangle move I’d seen Joel do.

I was inches away from him now, close enough to see the sweat gathering on the back of his neck. I seized the opportunity and launched myself onto David’s back and wrapped my arm around his neck, squeezing with all of the strength I had in me. Sickening gurgling sounds left his mouth as I continued to strangle him and I felt his knees buckling under him. The burning in my arms was only motivation to keep my grip on him, and he finally fell to the ground, taking me down with him. I gasped for breath as I stood up off of him and turned to run out of the door that was feet away, but a sharp sting spread through my calf. I cried out as I toppled to the ground, my head landing inches away from David’s. A sick smile spread across his face. “You’re weak.” He said through his teeth as he pushed himself off of the ground, “Just how I like ‘em.” I tried to sit up and grasp for my leg, but he pushed me down harshly by my shoulder and proceeded to push his body onto mine. I squealed, pushed, and kicked in attempt to get him off of me, but he was too big, too determined. “That’s it, keep fighting.” He breathed. Nausea filled my stomach as I felt him reach down and unzip his pants and began trying to rip my clothes off. I continued to fight, digging my nails into the ground and bringing my knees into his stomach over and over again. Suddenly my hand connected with something hard. Something metal. It was the machete. I grasped it and wasted no time burying it under David’s ribcage. A look of shock occupied his face before his whole body fell onto me.

I was numb. David’s limp body was still draped over mine, but I didn’t have the strength to move it. I’d begun to accept defeat. My brother was gone and Joel nowhere to be found. My last two motivations to be alive were now gone. So there I laid, under my captor on the grimy floor of a restaurant that was being engulfed in flames. The smoke burnt my lungs, but I didn’t care. I breathed in further, hoping it would make my demise come quicker. As I lay there, my mind went back to when Matthew and I were younger. Sitting next to our father’s strawberry plants and stuffing our faces, causing red rings to form around our mouths. I smiled at the memory and felt a tear drip down towards my ear.

Suddenly a loud bang rattled the walls of the restaurant. I stayed still, figuring that it was the ceiling collapsing, but flinched when I heard my name being called. I thought I was imagining it, that I was finally letting go, but then I saw Joel’s face over me. His eyes were wild with concern. “Joel.” I choked. He grunted as he pushed David’s body off of me, his face dropping when he caught sight of David’s undone belt and zipper. My hands floated up to reach for him and he quickly obliged, gathering my quivering form up against his chest. “S’okay babygirl. I’m here. I’ve got you.” He soothed as I sobbed against him. I began to cough between sobs from the smoke gathering in the air, and he quickly moved to carry me outside.

It had snowed more since I’d been captured, and the air stung my exposed skin. Joel set me down gently onto my feet and hurriedly shrugged his heavy jacket off before draping it over my shoulders. “Here.” He breathed before his arm moved to wrap around my shoulders and he began to coral me into the woods, away from the burning building. Suddenly, I dropped to my knees and my breathing became frantic. I was finally processing that my brother was gone. That he’d been murdered, chopped up, and eaten. Joel knelt down next to me and wrapped his arm around me once more as I sat there heaving. I tried to speak, to explain, but I could only manage one word at a time between gasps. “He…. they…” Joel pulled me against himself again and pressed my head under his chin and whispered, “God I’m so sorry.” He pulled away and wiped the wetness from my cheeks and under my nose. “But you’re not hurt.” He said weakly, “Thank fucking god you’re okay.” He pulled me into him again before pressing his lips to the top of my head. I let my body go limp against his. I was relieved to be with him again, to be safe in his arms, but I was so very far from being okay.

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a/n: This was an INTENSE chapter but it's not a Joel fic without angst in every chapter lmao. I hope you enjoyed and as always thank you for reading!!

Taglist:

@ashleyfilm @ayamenimthiriel @demonsasss

Masterlist | Next Part

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jobean12-blog · 8 months ago

Text

Make You Mine

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Friends to lovers)

Word Count: 930

Summary: You and Joel have been friends for some time and when he comes to rescue you from a shitty situation all the tension that's been building comes to a head and he takes you home to make you his.

Author's Note: This is a stand alone story but thank you to the lovely @casa-boiardi I wrote a little something for what happens when they get home❤️You don't have to read Where You Belong first but of course you can if you want 🥰All these new pics of Pedro filming have been driving me crazy- in the best way-so yummy! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: soft sweetness mixed in with all the yummy, he can't get enough and you can't either, fingering, oral (f rec), p in v

Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist

The door to your house swings open with the force of his push and when he slams it shut he pins you against it, his breathing harsh and heavy as his fingers trace the curve of your jaw.

“I want to go slow,” he rasps, pressing closer. “I want to touch you everywhere, taste you everywhere…”

His free hand rests along the door just above your head, fingers fisted and pressing into the wood as he fights to control himself.

With his name falling from your lips in a whispered plea you drag your hands down his soaked shirt and dig your fingers into the waistband of his jeans.

The rain still falls outside and you’re both drenched, your clothes sticking to your skin. You stay like that for several moments, pressed together with lips hovering just an inch apart.

“Sweetheart,” he groans. “Fuck.”

The words have barely left his lips before he kisses you, dropping his hand from the door and taking you in his arms. He can’t get you close enough and you can feel the temptation in every part of his body, muscles tense as he traces each of your curves.

“I want to go slow…” he says again, maybe to remind himself, or you, before he rolls his hips, and whispers, “but I don’t think I can control myself.”

“Don’t,” you answer, matching his movements and working hard to pull the wet shirt from his body.

He gets the message and releases you just enough to haul if off. His jeans hang low, molded to his thick thighs and your fingers fall to the button, working it open quickly.

When the denim hangs loose, revealing more of his dark trail of hair, you lick your lips and try to tug them down further but they cling to his wet skin.

He hisses out your name when you reach between his legs but tries to focus on tugging the straps of your dress from your shoulders.

Thick fingers fumble for the zipper at your back, finally grabbing hold of the small piece of metal and pulling it down slowly. He steps back from the door and takes you with him, watching intently as he peels the dress from your body.

It looks as if he wants to say something but instead he hauls you possessively back into his arms and kisses you, his lips soft despite the scraping of his beard. His large hand splays at the small of your back, sweeping upward until he cups the back of your neck and tilts your head to deepen the kiss.

Your back hits the door again and you moan into his mouth, still desperately trying to get his jeans over his thighs but he falls to his knees, taking your panties down with him. He looks up at you, his dark hair even more tousled, the ends drying and curling more than usual. The curls frame his face, flushed and eager.

“Just a taste sweetheart. I need it.”

Your fingers thread through his hair and when he rests your leg over his shoulder your knees almost buckle. His kisses are soft as they move along your calf then to your inner thigh and tease you with every inch that brings him closer.

His eyes close for the briefest second and his nose bumps your clit, so light, but the sensation makes your entire body react. His inhale is long and deep and hums with satisfaction.

“Oh my god, Joel.”

The swipe of his tongue is just a tease at first, light flicks that drive you wild and have you begging for more. When you can’t take it any longer you give his hair a sharp tug and he pushes his tongue deeper to taste you, working you over like a man so consumed he can’t do anything else.

His rough beard drags along your delicate skin and his fingers glide up your leg, gathering the wetness between them.

“Yes, yes, please,” you chant, rolling your hips.

He pushes one finger inside you, then another, groaning when he feels you squeeze around them. Your legs start to shake and you pull his face closer.

“That’s it sweetheart,” he murmurs, “show me how much you love my face buried between your legs.”

When he sucks your clit between his lips it sends you over the edge, the rush of pleasure overwhelming and his name the only thing you can remember.

He stands slowly, kissing along every inch of you until he’s upright and holds you in his arms, giving you time to catch your breath. His shoulders feel so strong under your palms and you press your lips to his neck, feeling the wild beat of his pulse.

His eyes meet yours and he takes your face between his hands.

“Joel,” you whisper, gently bumping your nose to his. “Joel, I want you inside me. Make me yours.”

The heat in his gaze matches the burn of your skin and he reaches for his jeans, grasping and pulling until they’re down at his ankles. He settles against you, hard and thick but his touch is soft and reverent with every kiss and sweep of his fingers.

He fills you slowly, holding your stare before he’s fully seated, the breath rushing out of your lungs. Then he kisses you, stealing your breath even more and whispering against your lips, “how the fuck do you do it, sweetheart?”

“Do what?” you gasp.

“Taste even sweeter now that I know you’re mine.”

And you want to be his, more than your next breath.

@lorilane33 @kmc1989 @lizette50 @hiddles-rose @littleseasiren

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #protective!joel miller #friends to lovers

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getitoutofmymindwrites · 5 months ago

Text

Something impulsive | joel miller x f!reader x marcus pike, 7.1k

Summary: The distance between you and Joel grows. You decide to give Marcus a chance. A chance encounter shifts the balance between you and the two men.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, image just for aesthetic purposes, reader does not have a description, angst, slow-burn, insecurities, first date nervousness, flirting, sexual thoughts, kissing, Joel still being a prick, Joel still being an idiot (bear with him) dog piss (bear with me, too), as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: And here I was, thinking that this time I'll keep it short. Who am I kidding. Thank you for taking the time to read anything I write! Love you all!

P.S.: Credits for the final scene go to @jessthebaker and this hilarious comment that I just had to include in the chapter:

Dividers by @cafekitsune & @thecutestgrotto

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

previous |

Radio silence.

That is what you would call it.

After your last encounter, you haven't seen or heard from Joel for two long weeks. No text, no phone call, nothing. Were you entering the winter phase again? Most likely.

You regretted the way you had challenged him that night. It wasn't really your style, but that's what happens when you bottle things up. Especially things like desire and longing. Eventually, they erupt like a fucking volcano after a long hibernation. Brutally. And yet you haven't got an ounce or a reaction. Something. Anything at all.

You were terrified that your friendship had been broken. You could have texted him. You should have. You felt it was all your fault anyway. You should have apologized. But you were angry. And selfish. And deep down you blamed him for your reaction, for making you feel helpless, a pawn in his hands.

But was that the case? And can you really blame anyone for your own actions? You were responsible for the way you reacted. You could have done things differently. You knew that. But you did not want to admit that to him.

Whether you were angry or not, you missed him all the same. You missed his presence, his voice, his scent. You missed the sound of his name on your tongue. The warmth of his irises and the softness in his eyes when he looked at you. And boy, did he look at you.

He may not have been a man of many words, but sometimes, just sometimes, his gaze spoke louder than any voice in the room. That's how you got into this mess in the first place.

One evening, on your day off, you hang out with Trish at your place. You needed the company, being alone with your thoughts for too long wasn't a good idea. The two of you sit on the sofa, drinking beer and eating pizza straight out of the box. You had already put your girls to bed and this was your happy hour.

"Are you dating Marcus you little weasel?"

"Where did that come from?", your eyes widen in surprise.

"Joel asked me the other day.", Trish reveals, laughing under her breath.

"WHAT?" you squeal in disbelief. Joel was not the type to ask about other people's private matters. Especially yours and especially to his cousin. "OK, please, elaborate."

"He asked me if you’re seeing him.", she continues.

"When did this happen?", you try to draw an imaginary map in your mind, gathering all the information available to you to understand what might be going through his mind.

"A few days ago, maybe?" she says nonchalantly.

"He asked that explicitly? Those were the exact words he used?", you insist like a hound dog looking for clues.

"Of course not." Trish rolls her eyes, "He danced around it for a while, but I pretended I didn't know what he was talking about -which I obviously don't- and then I made him ask directly."

"Oh god, give the poor man a break!", you exclaim, you could only imagine what a menace could she be when she wanted to.

"Well, are you?"

"No, I’m not. But if he asks again tell him I am."

"Why?", she frowns but looks amused at the same time. Oh, she's up to something.

"So he will leave me alone." Well he already kind of did, but maybe it was for the best to cut the ties once and for all.

"What do you mean? Is he bothering you?" Trish insists, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"No- he's- it's not- uh-" where would you even start, it's all a fucking mess, anyway. "Forget I said anything-" you try to end the conversation, but-

"I might have kind of implied that, though?" Trish wrinkles her nose, trying to minimize the damage.

"WHAT?"

"Only because he looked desperate" she rushes to explain, "and honestly you two should really fuck each other. So I thought maybe I could spice things up a bit."

A minute or two passes before you answer her. All this information bombarding your mind left a paralyzing feeling in your mouth. He looked desperate? Why the fuck? Was this the classic 'I want what I can't have'? He wasn't that type. And he could have his way with you if he wanted to. Couldn't he? Did he get the feeling that you weren't interested? What more could you have done, he was the one who went cold and hot all the time. "It's not like that." is all you say.

"The hell it isn't." Trish quips, almost offended.

"We don't want the same things Trish, and I won't make the same mistakes again." you draw the line. "What did he say?", you ask without shame, because you just have to know, even if it hurts you.

"Oh, you know, he put on his usual 'Joel grumpy face' and walked out on me. But honestly, what did you expect?" she shrugs and continues, "So, if 'it's not like that'", she air-quotes you mockingly, "why don't you give Marcus a real chance? He's a good guy and I don't often say that," Trish points her finger at you.

"I'm sure he is Trish, but I can't."

"And why is that?"

"Because it's not honest."

"To whom?"

"To him."

"And..?" she presses you.

You close your eyes, because you really don't want to say it and it feels frustrating but comforting at the same time to have a friend who knows you so well. "And to my heart.", you mumble coyly.

"Oh, baby c'mere. You really like my stupid cousin, don't you?" Trish wraps her arms around your shoulders, squeezing you into a tight hug.

"No, I do not." It's more than that. "And don't push it any further, it's not happening.", it's your turn to point the finger at her.

"Ok.", she sighs troubled. "Ok, look at me and listen carefully.", she makes a serious face, holding your hands in hers as she begins. "Joel's my cousin and he is a good man and I love him, but he has his own issues to deal with-"

"What do you mean?" You interrupt her curiously. You never thought to ask about his past before, it seemed invasive.

"It’s not my place." she cuts you off with a guarded look that seems so foreign on her face and continues, "The point is, you cannot wait for him forever."

"I'm not-" you start to deny it, but Trish grabs your face in her palms, squeezing you gently to make her point and you stop mid-sentence.

"You deserve to be happy. And you can't miss something you've never had." her eyes bore into yours, full of care and concern.

Her last words strike you like a slap on the face.

Oh, but you can. You already are.

Another two weeks have passed and you still haven't heard from Joel. He's stuck in your head like a virus, unable to think of anything else. This is the longest you've gone without talking. It's taking its toll on you, making you fidgety and jumpy, irritated by the simplest things. You've reached your breaking point and you're ready to call him, just to see if he's OK.

And, if you're honest with yourself, to give him a chance to make a move. He might think you don't want him to reach out. That thought makes you even more angry, you sound so pathetic in your head, begging for a man's attention. A man who has never made his intentions clear. You should stand up for yourself, hold your own.

You're at the office, shuffling through your bag, looking for your phone, still debating whether to call him. As you reach deep into your bag, searching through the million things you stuff in there, you feel a hard, papery thing on your fingertips. You fish it out and see that it's Marcus' card. You don't even remember putting that thing in there. But you remember him giving it to you.

He was such a gentleman and so thoughtful that night. He didn't ask for your number and he didn't press to put his on your phone. He gave you his card, clearly stating that he hoped you would get in touch with him.

"..why don't you give Marcus a real chance?.."

You take a deep breath and unlock your phone.

"..You cannot wait for him forever.."

This is it.

"..You deserve to be happy.."

You're going to call him. Right now? Yes, right now.

He picks up after the third ring.

"Agent Pike.", his voice deep and smooth, runs like honey in your ears. You remember how much you liked the sound of it.

You’re taken aback for a moment, you'd almost forgotten what he did for a living. It was strange but interesting to hear him like that, it stirred something in you. "Uh- um-" you lose your train of thought for a second, "hi- I don't know if you rememb-"

Marcus says your name instantly, the surprise evident in his tone. "I was beginning to think you'd either lost my card or I'd made a terrible, terrible first impression on you," he says with a soft laugh, vulnerability coloring his voice.

"No, no, god- no, nothing like that.. It was really nice to meet you!" you reassure him, because it really was.

"Yeah, you too.." Marcus replies and you can hear the smile in his voice. He doesn't say anything else, giving you time to collect yourself.

"I just-" you squeeze your eyes shut, trying not to freak out, pinching the bridge of your nose with your fingers, you hadn't planned this, "I've been really busy, with work and the kids, I haven't had a chance to..." the words catch in your throat as you think of the real reason you've been busy.

Obsessing over unavailable men.

But you don't want to lie to Marcus, he's been so kind and open, so you pause, looking for a way out of the hole you've dug yourself into.

"Hey, it's OK," Marcus takes the lead, sensing your discomfort, "you didn't have to call, but I'm really glad you did. I thought about getting your details from Trish in case you lost my number, but then I didn't want to force you into anything in case you didn't lose my number, you know?" he laughs timidly.

"Yeah, I know; that is so thoughtful of you. I'm- I'm glad I called." It feels strange to admit something like that, something so small, to be honest, to be so open and talk about positive things, to make someone feel good with your words on a personal level. You've spent the last few years just doing it for your daughters, loving them, hyping them up, rooting for them, but it's a change that you welcome and you discover that you really, really missed it.

There's a short silence on the other end, which makes you feel anxious, so you decide not to bother him any more. "I'm sorry I called during office hours, I-"

"No, no, no, don't even think about it, there are no office hours at my line of work anyway, so.." Marcus rushes to put you at ease. "I was just wondering if I should ask you out or if I'm jumping the gun," he blurts out and you can feel his hesitation through the phone.

"Well," you try to lighten the mood, "you're the one asking questions for a living, so why don't you earn your keep?" you bite your lower lip in anticipation and then snicker to yourself. You hear Marcus laughing, amused and impressed by your little stunt, and you have a deep desire to hear it again, knowing that it's your doing.

Marcus is not one to shy away from a challenge, so he delivers quite brilliantly. "It would give me great pleasure if you would go out with me," he says your name softly at the end, "I know it can be tricky with the girls and work and all that, but I'm sure we could work something out; my office hours are very flexible," he informs you, cleverly covering all your possible obstacles.

"I thought you didn't have office hours..." you return playfully, feeling lighter already, the thought of Joel still lingering, but the pain of it fading in your heart.

"For you I do." Marcus deadpans with an amazing ability to not make it sound cheesy. And you know exactly what kind of ability it is.

The one of honesty.

Your heart is in your mouth. You're sure of it. You can taste your heartbeat on the tip of your tongue. As much as you've tried to play it down, you're nervous, your stomach is in knots. You spend most of the evening whining to Trish on the phone, freaking out about what to wear and ending up with a "What does it matter anyway? It's one date and that's it, he's not sticking around. Yeah, he's not. I'm good, I'm fine, this is fine." you shrug as you look at yourself in your bedroom mirror.

Trish's voice brings you back to reality, "None of that, everything's going to be fine, you're going to have a good time and you're going to keep having a good time." You looked sideways at the phone as if Trish could see you through it, glancing at the time. "Ok Trish, thanks for the pep talk, but I have to go or I'll be late."

"Sure thing babe, have a great night-"

"Thanks Trish-" you speak over her voice sure she's done with the pleasantries, but-

"-and don't forget to fuck 'im."

The line goes dead before you can reply.

Jesus Christ.

"You got this. You got this. You got this," you chant to yourself, pacing the living room, checking the time on your phone every thirty seconds. "Yeah," you exhale with nervous conviction, "you got this." The doorbell rings and your stomach clenches. Conviction my ass, "No, you don't." you mutter before rushing to answer the door.

Your heels click on the wooden floor and you pin the hem of your dress down once more, just to be sure. It wasn't terribly short, but still, you haven't dressed for a date in God knows how long.

You open the door and your breath catches in your throat. But you could say the same about Marcus. You look at one another for a moment, both admiring each other. He looks sharp, clean-shaven, with a prominent jawline that makes you want to suck on it from side to side.

His hair is combed back and slightly to the side. He looks so handsome and then he smiles at you. A real smile, big and toothy and bright and beautiful. His eyes crinkle and his plush lips stretch with the force of it. His suit is elegant and clean, neatly pressed, and the two top buttons of his shirt are undone, showing a hint of his tanned chest, making it more casual.

"Hey.." Marcus speaks first, pulling himself out of his haze. His eyes drink you in, unable to land on one spot, admiring your simple but elegant black dress that stops mid-thigh, the softness of your exposed skin, the curves of your body and the features of your face.

"Hi..." you say back shyly, noticing his admiration.

"I- Christ-", he stutters almost confused.

"What's wrong?" you fidget with the fabric of your dress, your nerves getting the better of you once again.

"I almost forgot how beautiful you are-" Marcus admits, his eyebrows raised, a hint of pink spreading across his cheeks. "-you look amazing," he compliments, raising his arm and pointing his open palm in your direction.

You pray that you can fast-forward to the actual date and stay right here on the threshold of your house at the same time. "Oh, thank you -" you reply quietly, with a shy smile on your lips.

"These-" Marcus raises his other hand, suddenly remembering what he's holding, "these are for you," he hands you a beautiful bunch of flowers, obviously made specifically for you by a florist, wrapped in a beautiful ribbon. What is it about this man that turns the most clichéd things into thoughtful actions?

"These are so beautiful, thank you, let me-" you point towards the house so you can put them in a vase, signaling him to come in with your head.

"Hope it's not too much..", Marcus wonders as he enters the hall of the house.

"It's perfect," you smile warmly as you return from the kitchen with the filled vase and place it on the entryway furniture, admiring the arrangement. You place the palm of your hand on his bicep, reassuring him as you turn to leave.

His eyes shine with appreciation as he takes your palm in his warm hand, planting a soft kiss on the pulse point of your wrist. His scent fills your nostrils, sweet and masculine, and you can almost smell his shampoo as he leans forward. Your lips part and your eyes widen at the intimate contact, but instead of feeling pressured, all you want is for him to do it again on any part of your skin he likes. His plush lips are warm and soft, leaving the slightest trace of moisture as they part your skin, sending a wave of shivers through your body.

You stifle a gasp but you can't hide the dilation of your irises and he can't hide the hunger behind his. He cups your cheek in his hand, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. "Ready?" he asks in a hushed tone.

"As I'll ever be."

The drive is bathed in bits of small talk and comfortable silence, appreciating each other's presence without having to fill the quiet of the cabin every second. Marcus' gaze is split between the road ahead and you at his side. He drives with one hand, his right resting comfortably on the gearbox.

God, you're such a cliché, noticing the way his broad palm rests there, the veins bulging between his fingers and on his hand and it makes you squirm in your seat. Your date hasn't even started yet and you're already feeling uncomfortable in your underwear. Are you that needy? Or is it him? Is he doing this to you?

Joel.

No, stop. Don’t think about him. Not right now. Stop.

Joel.

No.

Joel.

NO.

You don't realize you're holding your breath until Marcus is asking if you're all right.

"What?" you snap out of your haze, jerking your head to look at him. He looks worried, his forehead forming a deep crease between his eyebrows. "I lost you there for a minute, what happened?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'm fine."

"You don't gotta do that, you know."

"Do what?"

"Say you're fine. You're allowed not to be."

You start to contradict him, but then you realize he's right.

"You're right," you admit, looking at him sheepishly. "I'm just nervous- and it's not your fault-" you hasten to explain, "I just haven't done this in so long that it feels like it's happening to someone else, like I'm watching myself from a distance."

He smiles at you knowingly and you add frustratedly, "That's so uncool, I'm sorry, I should be-"

"Moment of truth?" Marcus cuts you off before you can finish your thought.

"Um- OK?"

"I'm already hooked." he bites his lip, stealing a glance in your direction, his shoulders shrugging as if he had just told you the most natural thing in the world.

"Excuse m-" you look at him in bewilderment.

"I know I should play hard to get and do all the stuff everyone does on a first date, act cool and whatnot," he gestures in the air with his free hand, "but really? I'm hooked. Captivated. So-" he takes a deep breath, exhaling forcefully, "if anyone should be anything, it's me, scared that I'm going to screw this up, somehow. But you know what?" he looks at you expectantly, waiting for a response.

"What?" you manage to croak, your whole body buzzing with anticipation.

"I'm going to choose to enjoy this night by being myself-" he stops and scrunches his eyes in thought, "-well, ok, I'm going to hold back a bit," he jokes playfully, making you both laugh at that, relieving some of the tension and he takes your hand in his, squeezing it gently, "because I don't know if I'll get another chance. I can only hope that at the end of the night you'll choose to see me again."

He brings your intertwined hands to his lips and kisses your knuckles tenderly. He's said all the right things, everything you want to hear and dear God, he makes you want to climb him like a tree. You bite your lower lip so hard you're afraid you'll draw blood.

He studies your face and your fluttered expression for a moment, a smile of accomplishment painted on his perfect mouth, before he adds, "And you shouldn't be anything other than what you want to be. Neither of us should."

The date was not what you expected, because it was actually a success. Zero awkwardness, lots to talk about, mutual humor and gentle glances. You started with dinner in a not-too-casual-not-too-formal restaurant and ended up in a great bar, lively but not too loud, where you had delicious cocktails over and over again. Not Marcus though, because he was driving. So responsible, you wanted to sink your teeth into his neck.

Marcus was truly interested in you. He asked you about everything, he really wanted to know about your life. You didn't delve much into the divorce and he didn't push it. But you told him more about your background, your work, your daughters, the challenges of being a single mother and to your surprise, he listened. Actively. When you told him it was his turn to spill the beans, he told you about his job and his specialty; his move to Texas for a fresh start and when you asked him why he felt he needed one, he reluctantly told you about proposing to his girlfriend of two months.

"I know, I know-" he raises his hand in defence as he shakes his head in disbelief, "I don't know what the hell I was thinking, I guess-" he looks down at his empty glass as if searching for answers, "sometimes I have a hard time letting things go."

He dares to meet your eyes through his lashes, to study your reaction. But your expression is neutral, no judgment on your part. "But I'm working on it, letting things happen naturally, you know? If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." he shrugs casually.

"That must be hard for you to deal with." you observe.

"Why would you think that?" he seems curious to know what you think of him, smiling crookedly.

"You strike me as someone who really tries to work things out, to fix what's broken. You don't give up easily, do you?"

His eyes bore into yours as he confirms, "No, I don't," smirking at you. You break eye contact and look down at your lap, biting back a smile of your own.

Suddenly you hear your name being called and you scan the room to find the source. You see Tommy just a few meters away, coming towards you to say hello. Marcus looks between the two of you, his eyes finally landing on yours, catching your faltering smile. "Hey, Tommy, how are you?" you hug him gently and then introduce the two men.

"Hi, nice to meet you." Tommy holds out his hand as Marcus extends his own, "You too."

"Who's the lucky girl this time, Tommy?" you tease with a devilish grin as you wink at him.

"The lucky girl is actually my brother." Tommy laughs breathlessly and your face immediately falls as he points his thumb behind him.

Joel is there at the other end of the bar, sitting on a table, his gaze fixed on you, his whole posture stiff, his jaw clenched and his eyes hard on you. You raise your arm weakly and wave at him, and he nods back sternly.

Marcus misses absolutely none of this.

How long had they been there? How much did he see? Did you do anything inappropriate? you keep checking yourself for any flawed behavior. But then you realize that you don't have to answer to him or anyone else. You can do as you please. So why do you keep hoping you haven't let him down?

"You wanna join us? There's plenty of room, come on.", Tommy invites you to their table.

You feel your legs give out just at the thought of this gathering and you try to decline politely, "We wouldn't want to impose, it's OK-"

Tommy gives you a confused look, as if you haven't spent the best part of the last two years hanging out together. "What the hell are you talking about, love? Come on, move that ass of yours." he waves his head in their direction. You glance swiftly from Tommy to Marcus and then back to Tommy, hoping he'll get the message, but he doesn't. Damn it, Tommy.

Marcus notices your apprehension and puts the palm of his hand on your forearm, caressing your skin with his thumb.

"Are you OK? Do you want to go instead?" he says in a quiet voice, just for you to hear.

You almost jump at his suggestion, "No, no, I just don't want you to think I'm not having a good time with you…" you lower your eyes, feeling vulnerable.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Marcus lowers his head to meet your gaze, "I think I'd know if this date was going south. But if for some reason it is and I'm too smitten to see it, I'm all ears." Marcus searches your eyes and you shake your head with conviction.

"It's not," is all you say, and you lean forward to place a kiss on his cheek, on the side of his face that is hidden from Joel's inspection. As if that would make what you just did any less obvious. Marcus' lips part, and he turns his head sideways to look at your profile, almost brushing it with his own.

His eyes linger on your mouth as you lean back to your seat, and then he licks his lower lip like a starving man preparing for his favorite meal. "Let's go meet your friends before I do something impulsive," he whispers in your ear, his grip on your arm tightening, his nose pressing against your temple and his lips brushing your earlobe.

Goosebumps spread across your skin and you have half a mind to get the fuck out of here and drag him back to your house. But instead you giggle like a schoolgirl and lead the way to hell, feeling the warmth of his hand on your lower back and the moisture of your pussy running down your thigh.

If a person could combust out of stillness, it would be Joel. You're not even sure he's breathing at this point. You train your eyes on his chest, trying to follow the rise and fall of his rib-cage, just to make sure he doesn't faint.

He's sitting directly opposite you, next to his brother, who's sitting opposite Marcus. He's nursing a beer with one hand, the other behind Tommy's seat. He barely speaks to you, he avoids looking at you and that makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong and he's giving you the cold shoulder. It takes everything you've got to swallow the lump in your throat and the tears behind your eyes, but you do it.

The same waitress who took your previous orders comes back and asks what you and Marcus are having. You order a beer, and before Marcus can place his own, Joel spits, "If you're driving her back, you shouldn't be drinking," giving him a disapproving look.

Your cheeks flush with embarrassment, your eyes dart from the waitress to Joel and then to Marcus, ready to apologize on his behalf. You knew Joel could be abrasive, but never so blatantly rude. Those were the first words he said to him.

Jesus, what is his problem?

Marcus seems to be able to handle his own, answering to you instead of Joel without missing a beat. "Good to know you have such protective friends," he says with a twinkle in his eye and then he orders, "I'll have the same as before, thank you.", shifting his gaze to the waitress. "One soda with a slice of orange coming up," she says politely and leaves to get your drinks.

You glare at Joel, but he doesn't seem to be paying attention, although he flinched almost imperceptibly when he heard Marcus' choice of drink. Marcus gives you a gentle kiss on the temple and you begin to suspect that he knows exactly what's going on between you and Joel, whose jaw is twitching at the sight of Marcus' public display of affection towards you.

You envy Tommy at the moment because he seems blissfully unaware, so you turn the conversation to him. Or at least you try, because as soon as you open your mouth to speak, Joel cuts you off and asks Marcus what he does for a living.

You can't help but think that after your first meeting in that god’s forsaken bar, it took him months to strike up a conversation with you, but tonight, for some reason, he just can't seem to shut up.

Marcus, being as polite as ever, gives him the general answer that he works for the government.

"Ah, a white collar," Joel replies condescendingly and your eyes bulge out of their sockets, "must be nice, relaxed." still not looking at you and God does he tick you off. Tommy shifts uncomfortably in his seat, stealing glances at you, not sure what's going on. In any other case you would have found it endearing. Not so much now.

You too are squirming in your seat, trying to think of a way out of this awkward situation. This is not how you imagined your first date would end. And it's certainly not how you expected to meet Joel after all these weeks.

Marcus seems unfazed by the veiled hostility coming his way, smiling back at Joel, almost enjoying the antagonism. "Not necessarily, but I can't talk about it either." This catches Joel's attention and he looks at you questioningly for the first time. You tilt your head slightly to the side, signaling what are you doing? but Joel takes his eyes off you, sipping his beer nonchalantly.

"What about you? What do you do for a living?" Marcus returns the question.

"We're contractors, me and Joel; we're brothers," he gestures between himself and Joel, "and we work together." Tommy chimes in quickly, having reached his limit of awkwardness at the table. You breathe a sigh of relief, but it's not long lived.

"And how do you all know each other?" is the next natural question to come out of Marcus' mouth.

Joel's eyes land on you briefly, something flashes past them and before you can stop him-

"She and I actually met in a bar..." Joel smirks at Marcus, but you speak at the same time-

"Joel-" Your voice is firm as a warning, fully accepting that your tone might be alarming to your unsuspecting company.

"What?" Tommy's voice falters, laughing uncomfortably, completely at a loss. Marcus reads the table, his eyes darting between the three of you, at the same time placing a protective hand over your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

"What?" Joel repeats in a different tenor to his brother and he shrugs, smiling, "It's no big deal, tell them," he has the audacity to put you on the spot, nodding his chin at you.

You feel the contents of your stomach move up your esophagus, cold sweat coats your skin in a thin layer. Betrayal. That's all you can think of. "Uh-", you try to find the words, but nothing comes out, betrayal, you're not good at it, lying doesn't come easy to you, betrayal, especially with three sets of eyes on you. Joel just sits there with a smug look on his face and you wish you had the guts to slap it out of him.

Betrayal.

Marcus' voice brings you back to the present, are you all right?, a soft whisper caresses your ear and soothes your insides. The bile in your throat begins to return to its rightful place, but your eyes are already moist, your waterline glassy, a look of defeat and disappointment painted on your soft face. Joel sees it all written on those contours of yours that he has come to know and marvel at from afar, and it is as if a sudden realization hits him, snapping him out of his asshole behavior. He is cruel to you.

"All right, all right," he rolls his eyes and continues with a sigh, and Tommy's eyes return to his brother, but Marcus' remains fixed on you. "We met in a bar and we had a heated..." he stops abruptly and your face takes on a look of horror as he searches for the right word. "...argument." Joel finally adds. "We exchanged a few words, but then we ran into each other at my cousin's house and the rest is history." he laughs as he waves his hand in the air and winks at you.

You bite your lower lip as hard as you can to keep your chin from trembling, but a single tear of relief or suppressed anger, you're not sure anymore, escapes from the side of your face that only Joel can see, as you give him a forced, watery smile.

Luckily the bar is dimly lit, otherwise they would all be able to see the redness spreading across your chest, the rage manifesting itself on your body. Used and played is how you feel, and Joel is the last person you would have thought would put you in this position. You'd bet all your money on it.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Tommy wonders aloud, looking between you and Joel. You clear your throat and have no choice but to confirm Joel's lie. "It felt awkward at the time, so we pretended we didn't know each other. It was an unfortunate moment, one I deeply regret," you lock eyes with Joel and see his facade almost crumbling, "that will never recur, ever again." you continue to stare at him as you speak the last words with concealed bitterness. For the first time that night, he looked down at his lap in shame and regret, pretending to peel the label off his bottle with his thumb.

The ride home was silent, you were emotionally drained, something Marcus picked up on easily, so he simply offered his open palm, which you gladly accepted, tucking your fingers between his own. He continued to caress your skin, back and forth, and it was all you needed to calm your nerves.

As he walked you to the front door of your house, you felt compelled to apologize to him in a profound way. "I'm so sorry about Joel," you shake your head, looking down at your feet, your fingers scratching your forehead, a worried look on your face, "he can be intense sometimes -" why are you defending him?

Marcus lifts your chin with a gentle finger under it, his thumb caressing your jawline. "I don't care about Joel." With one simple sentence, he has erased him from your conversation. No more room for him to steal any longer of your night with Marcus.

“But-”

“I'm the one standing on your porch right now am I not?”, the implication clear in his voice and words.

“I'm not sure what-” you try to avoid confirming or denying his assumptions.

"Mhm," he smiles knowingly, his eyes fixed on yours, searching for something. You feel safe with him, but you can't shake the feeling that you've ruined everything. Marcus' eyes drop to your lips and he slowly leans forward, stopping just inches from you, waiting for you to initiate. You can feel yourself unable to relax, your body stiff, frozen. But you want to, you really do, so you ask instead, "Are you going to do something impulsive now?"

He smiles and leans even closer to your lips, his breath gently fanning across your plump skin. His nose gently nudges yours, "Yes, I think I might."

Your lips almost touch when a muffled voice followed by loud barks startles you both, causing you to pull away and look around for the source of the disruption. After a few seconds, you both see a medium-sized dog running down the street. You wait to see if its owner follows, but no one appears. You turn to look at each other, giggling at the strange interruption.

Marcus caresses your cheek with the back of his knuckles and you lean into his touch, the moment gone and lost. "I hope you had a decent time because I know I had a great one and I really hope I get to see you again."

"Marcus," you scowl at him, "are you fishing for compliments?" you chastise him teasingly.

"Well, a man can dream," he smirks playfully as he tries to get some distance between you in case he comes on too strong.

"You don't have to," you coo, grabbing his collar to crush your lips against his.

After the initial shock, Marcus holds your head in his hands, tilting it to return the kiss and deepen it. His soft lips massage yours, sucking and nibbling at your lower lip. His upper lip and tongue capture yours, tugging gently, sending waves of pleasure through your body. He licks into your mouth, exploring every soft cavity, and you suck on his tongue in return.

He grunts into your welcoming cavern and you fist the fabric of his shirt that adorns his chest tighter. He presses his body into yours, trying to keep his pelvic area from pressing into your lower abdomen, but you can feel his growing erection inescapably.

You come up for air and murmur into his mouth, "I had a great time and I'd like to do it again".

This time it is he who presses his mouth to yours, kissing you fervently, sucking all the air out of your lungs. Your body is on fire, your abdomen tingling with desire.

You whimper against his lips as you reach for the short curls at the back of his neck, tugging them gently between your fingers, causing him to growl against your wet flesh, and he can feel your nipples poking at his chest through the thin material of your dress as you press your torso against his in sheer determination.

He's sure he's going to lose it and fuck you in front of your house for all your neighbors to see if he doesn't stop now. He breaks the kiss, panting, his eyes boring into yours, your foreheads touching. "Christ, woman," he closes his eyes and laughs to himself, "you're going to give me a heart attack."

"Better me than old age, right?" you try to hide your teasing smile behind your tightly pressed lips.

"Hey, I'm about to arrest you for threatening a government official," he warns without any conviction or authority.

"Are you going to handcuff me, Agent?" you ask, looking at him through your lashes and it comes out more breathless than it should.

"Jesus." Marcus mutters through his teeth, his resolve hanging by a thread. "OK." he gives you a sharp look, "I'm going to leave for the sake of both of us," he says, but his grip on your hip tightens, as if he's afraid you'll disappear.

"You could come in, you know," you offer, looking at him sheepishly.

His expression is pained when he has to turn you down. "And I'd like nothing more, but I want to do this right. Please, let me do this right." Marcus pleads softly, rolling his forehead over yours in desperation.

"What does that even mean?" you ask, a bit embarrassed by his rejection.

"Means I want to wine and dine you, spoil you, give you the perfect date," he coos into the soft skin beneath your ear, making you shudder at his soft promise. "And when you think you can't go another second without my touch, then I'll come in and spoil you some more," he continues, brushing his moist lips along the pillar of your neck. "I will spoil you in all the ways you deserve." he finishes, planting an open-mouthed kiss on your pulse point under your jaw. Your knees buck and your pussy contracts, squeezing out your sweetness at the feel of his warm and wet tongue.

"OK," you breathe out in a shaky voice, nodding dumbly, cupping his face in your hands and planting a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

He smiles and presses his lips to your forehead murmuring "God, you're something," and his heart swells at your tender gesture.

Marcus takes a deep breath, pauses and seems hesitant, but speaks his mind anyway. "OK, I'm going to skip the whole 'three day rule' and call you tomorrow. Is that OK?" he looks anxiously into your eyes, "Am I rushing you?"

A spontaneous laugh escapes your lips at the sound of that. "I just invited you into my house, you think a phone call is going to rush me?" you frown, "You can call me whenever you want.", you say matter of factly. You turn to leave, but change your mind and face him again. "Actually," you bite your lip mischievously, "I need to make sure I can rely on the American authorities, so I'm counting on your word. I'll be expecting a call by tomorrow," you stifle a grin by pressing your lips together.

"Yes, ma'am." Marcus nods in amusement and gives you one last kiss, pressing his lips to yours for as long as he can before ushering you into the house. "Good night," he breathes against your lips.

"Good night," you whisper back with a shy smile and close the door behind you. Marcus walks to his car with a stupid grin plastered on his face, gets in and drives away, but not before making sure you have closed and locked your front door.

In the stillness of the night, Joel takes a moment to assess the situation and satisfied that the coast is clear, he carefully emerges from the large bush he was hiding behind.

He glances down at his dog pissed shoe and mutters to himself,

"Fuck."

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baronessvonglitter · 7 months ago

Text

From Day One

Marcus Pike x f!Reader

Word count: 2.5K

Summary: your FBI partner and secret crush Agent Marcus Pike has only you to lean on after his breakup with Teresa Lisbon. You offer him something to take away his heartache..

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, friends to lovers, pining, angst, fluff, confessions of love, oral (m & f receiving), 69ing, unprotected p in v sex

Author's Note: this was a fic posted on AO3 right around Valentine's Day but there's not much talk about the holiday itself except a couple brief mentions. Didn't feel like waiting 8 months to post it here 🙂‍↔️

MARCUS PIKE MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

You’ve loved Agent Marcus Pike from the moment you were introduced. Your first day at the Austin FBI field office was a chaotic one, being thrown onto a case with him immediately. Your transfer from out of state was sudden, but your skills were sought after by this particular department and you soon became an asset.

You also became close with Marcus himself, partnering with him on several high-profile cases. Spending all that time together, you felt sparks. It was easy to be with him. He seemed to genuinely care about the cases, and in getting to know him you found out he was not only handsome, but sweet and compassionate. Everything you looked for in a man.

And then Teresa Lisbon came into the picture.

One day you were bringing Marcus a coffee and bagel from your favorite place downtown when you walked into the office and saw him laughing with her. You froze, but your smile completely disappeared when she kissed him. Right in front of you. You swore your heart stopped beating.

Marcus noticed you and introduced you to his new girlfriend, an agent you'd seen around and probably nodded politely to in passing. To save face you welcomed her. When they were gone you dumped the extra coffee down the sink.

Your working relationship with Marcus grew somewhat distant. You remained cordial with him, but you kept yourself less accessible than you used to be. You refrained from calling him or even joking with him. He definitely took notice, but his relationship with Teresa took over everything else in his life. Upon hearing that after only months of dating they were engaged, you put in a request for reassignment, which was promptly rejected. You were essential to the department, and honestly quitting wasn't an option for you, so you just had to eat your heart out, watching those two lovebirds. He planned on taking her to DC with him on his transfer anyway, so you figured it would be good riddance to both after all.

And one day, a day that starts out like any other. Marcus doesn't show up for work. And there's gossip around the office that he was dumped by Teresa. You know better than to put too much faith in rumors, but at the end of the day you share an elevator going down with Teresa herself, and her face says it all. She looks guilty and can't even look you in the eye.

In your car you immediately call Marcus but get his voicemail. You drive by his house and see his car there. Banging on the door you refuse to leave until you know he's okay. "Marcus open this damn door!"

He does open it eventually and he looks like a shell of his former self. His eyes are bleary and red. He's been crying but refuses to show it.

"Jesus Christ," you mutter, and without a second thought you embrace him. Your body is warm as he hugs you back.

"I can't believe she'd do that! What a bitch!" you exclaim, sitting on the sofa with him as he reveals the details of his breakup with Teresa.

"She's not a bitch," he softly replies. "She just wants someone else."

"Okay then, she's an idiot." You refuse to let her off the hook for hurting someone you'd fallen for long ago. "Are you still going to DC?"

He nods. "I made a commitment and I'm still seeing it through."

"Unlike her," you mutter.

"I wasn't a good friend to you while I was with her," he confesses, his puppy dog eyes conveying his regret. "Can you forgive me?"

This confession shocks you. You hadn't expected Marcus to be aware of what you were going through. You hadn't even made your feelings for him known. "It's fine, Marcus.. I was hurt, I'm not going to lie.. but you were in love. I know what it's like to lose yourself in someone." You cast a look at him that is filled with longing.

"I'd been planning this move to DC months in advance," he says. "Way before I met Teresa. And honestly, my first choice was to bring you with me."

This takes you by surprise. "What?"

He smiles. "You're my partner.. it was only right that I bring you with me, if of course you wanted to. Then things changed, and.." he trails off and you can tell he's fighting off another round of tears thinking about Teresa. "Would you still want to come with me? The DC branch is still expecting two agents. We'd have to figure out a living situation, but.. I'd love for you to come. I'll understand if you don't."

"Absolutely," you say before he's even finished his sentence.

"Really?" He smiles for the first time and it lights up his face.

You smile back. "Only an idiot could say no to you, Marcus Pike.."

DC is so much more fast-paced than you expected, but you and Marcus keep busy, working on new, more prominent cases. It's like the good old days, before he had his heart stomped on by Teresa. You've been careful with him, giving him his space to heal while you've also become acclimated to this new city.

You share a two-bedroom loft in the heart of the city, and it's been an easier transition than you'd thought. Being with him is so natural, so easy. Even the holidays are spent in a kind of quiet reminiscence. But then Valentine's Day rolls around, and just as you think Marcus is finally getting to a good place, you see him somber, his sparkle dulled. He must be thinking of Teresa, and how they'd be starting a life together now..

Even though nothing has been discussed regarding the obvious chemistry between you, you decide it's time to show him what he's been missing out on. Valentine's night, you suggest staying in and watching a movie. You stream "My Best Friend's Wedding", a film you both love, and settle in with some snacks. It's a comfortable evening as you relax on the sofa, your head on his shoulder. You're both in comfy clothes: Marcus in a white tee and sweatpants, you in a tank top and sleep shorts.

You decide to test the waters by resting your arm across his chest, hand on his shoulder. and he subconsciously places his hand on your elbow. You smile, reaching up to press a soft kiss to his neck. He tenses ever so slightly but doesn't pull away, in fact he sighs and that makes you smile. You whisper his name as your lips lightly brush his ear. You feel his pulse start to race, his eyes half-lidded as he falls under your spell. Your lips skim across the scruffy beard he's grown since his breakup, pressing to his cheek.

Without warning he grabs you and puts you in his lap, straddling him, and pulls you in for a scorching kiss. He holds the back of your head while his other hand strokes your back. The kiss is a synergy of lips and tongues, and you pull him closer to you while you feel him growing hard beneath you. You joyfully rub yourself against him, seeking the friction that will bring you together, making yourself absolutely drenched and knowing he can feel it through his sweatpants. Jesus, you could come right now just from the friction alone.

But he pauses, doesn't necessarily stop, putting a small bit of distance from your kiss as his gaze searches yours. "What are we doing?" he whispers, seemingly awestruck as he brushes a tendril of hair away from your face.

"I'm making my best friend feel better," you answer.

“Just your friend?” He crooks an eyebrow. Your stomach flutters with anticipation.

“Maybe more than a friend..”

He pulls you in for another kiss, removing your tank top. You delight in the feel of his fingertips on your bare flesh. A high pitched gasp passes your lips as his lips graze your neck, tease their way down your chest until he takes a pert nipple in his mouth, slowly sucking and lavishing attention with his tongue. You press your body against him, an offering. His mouth slips further down until suddenly he flips you over with ease, making you gasp. He’s now kneeling before you, big brown eyes hopeful as his fingers curl into the waistband of your shorts.

“Marcus.. tonight’s supposed to be about you,” you tell him, voice trembling with excitement.

“You first,” he whispers as you brush a stray lock of hair from his face. “It should’ve been you from the start,” he says, admiring how your hips arch as he removes your shorts and panties together. “I know that now, and I.. I’m glad you made the first move tonight.. if I’d tried something and you rejected me I don’t know what I’d do..”

You brush your fingers through his hair and mentally damn TL for leaving him so broken. “I’m not going anywhere Marcus.. I’ve wanted you from day one..”

He exhales loudly, hooking your knees under his arms and pulling you to the edge of the sofa. In the soft glow of the table side lamp he takes in the sight of your pussy, sees how soaked you are for him. He looks up at you as his tongue delves into your folds, causing your hips to buck against him. He holds your thighs firmly, flicking his tongue inside you, scooping your sweet nectar, falling in love with the taste of you, watching each reaction. Fucking you with his tongue makes you sit upright, gently cupping the back of his head, and sweeping his tongue over your throbbing clit is what makes you cry out his name, hips rising up to offer more to his hungry mouth as your body stretches out, thighs threatening to clamp down around his head.

“Please, Marcus please,” you moan. “I want to suck your cock.. it’s all I’ve been thinking about all night,” you beg.

He’s touched by this: even when you’re so close to coming you’re still thinking about his needs, putting him first.

“Ride my face,” he says, taking over when he sees how vulnerable you are. After stripping off his clothes he lays naked on the sofa and you gingerly place yourself over his mouth, the heat of his breath warming your cunt. Marcus wastes no time getting back to work, licking and sucking, pressing his lips to your clit and gently murmuring, the vibrations making your pleasured nerve endings ricochet and send you into overdrive. You lean forward taking hold of his cock, your breath stills at the deliciously thick length, more girth towards the head, which is also perfectly shaped. Just as you've imagined all along, Marcus Pike has a beautiful cock.

You take him into your mouth with gusto, keeping one hand on the base and stroking as you suck him. You take your time, delicately tonguing his sensitive, swollen head of his cock, brushing your tongue across the slit that's already leaking precum. His salty essence is lapped up by your greedy tongue as you hear him moan behind you, and he buries his face into your cunt, sending a rush of heat and electricity throughout your body. He laps at you vehemently, intent on making you cum as many times as possible. He uses his fingers to find your G-spot, pressing harder upon the spongy tissue until you see stars behind your eyes, and give forth a cry of sweet release, coming hard around his invading fingers. "There you go," Marcus soothes, his touch becoming softer as you come down from your peak. "Baby, I want to drink from this pussy every day," he says, and his eyes light up when you give a low, wicked laugh.

"You haven't even come yet," you tell him, continuing to stroke him. You get on your knees before him but he sits up and brings you into his lap again.

"I want to be inside you when I come," he tells you, positioning you over him. "It's a fantasy I've had for so long."

"For how long?"

"Probably since that first day.."

"Oh Marcus," your rapid heartbeat resounds throughout your entire being. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I wasn't so sure I wanted to lose our friendship.. but I think we might have more to gain now, if you're willing.."

This is all you've ever wanted to hear from him. Your every hope is coming true tonight, of all nights, on Valentine's Day. "I think I look pretty willing to you, don't you think?" you smirk, taking hold of his still-swollen cock and taking him so deep within you, a little at a time. The look on his face speaks volumes and he thrusts up the last few inches, eliciting a languishing moan as you take him up to the hilt.

You start slow at first, savoring the feeling of finally being one with him. His hands roam everywhere: your hips, your breasts, your thighs, as if he doesn't know where to start. He's like a kid in a candy store.

"I'm yours, Marcus," you tell him, cupping his handsome face in your hands. "I'm only yours." The pain that he went through with her he'll never have to experience again. "I'm going to make you forget anyone else ever existed for you.."

He kisses you, your bodies pressed together as intimately as any two people can be, rocking your hips in tandem, discovering the feel of each other. He watches your body as you make your own rhythm, moving sensually over him, and he wonders how he could have ever even looked at anyone else. It’s a joy to him to absorb the view of you commanding your pleasure on him, knowing he's the one making you feel this way. If there's anyone on this earth who can make him forget his heartbreak it's you.

"You're my beautiful girl," he mutters, his thumb tracing the softness of your lips. You press down harder, grinding against him and he encourages it, fucking you just as you're fucking him until you're a sighing, moaning, gasping pair. Your orgasm only spurs on his own, your walls clenching around him possessively, claiming him, drawing him towards his own completion and when he fills you you swear it's the most pristine, most natural thing you've ever felt. You belong to each other now.

And later, when you're laying side by side on the sofa, covered with a throw blanket, attempting to finish the movie, watching Julia Roberts run after a man who's marrying someone else, you sigh contentedly as he wraps an arm around your waist, drawing you in closer, a smile graces your lips and you're pretty sure it'll never leave your face. "You haven't even asked me to be your valentine," you tease him.

"Oh? I thought my actions spoke volumes." His smile lights up the semi-darkness.

"You might have to repeat some of those actions.. in case I need to be reminded.." you scoot back against him, gleefully finding him already hard again.

He chuckles and his lips brush lightly against your ear as he takes your hips in his hands and, in a sure and determined thrust, thrusts into you from behind, causing you both to cry out in bliss.

dividers by @firefly-graphics 👑

#marcus pike #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x you #marcus pike smut #friends to lovers #love and smut #the mentalist #ao3 fanfic #valentines day #pedro boys #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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