#pbt nada nothing. agony. she's fun to be around too but sadly with the way our neurodivergencies work i have been unable to form much
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not experiencing sexual attraction is a curse cast upon me I think given all the other stuff going on with me
#i LIKE SEX but i dont want to have it with people unless i also trust them enough to be vulnerable#people who dont need to have a spirital connection with the people they bang know this: i am so fucking jelaous of you. i have tried#i have tried so hard to rewire my brain. maybe one day ill be able to have casual sex for real. but as i am as a person right now i need#a level of emotional connection and trust and security that is not easy to come across when there are So Many Other Issues#to get to my pussy you have to first conquer the Gauntlet#some people can speed run this. others i needed 11 years and many other contributing factors.#my libido being so high it beat my social anxiety once and i went to a girls house that id spoken to once before and no one else really knew#did i get laid? NO. THATS THE REAL TRAGEDY IMO. FOR ONCE I WAS LIKE OK I CAN DO THIS AND THEN#pbt nada nothing. agony. she's fun to be around too but sadly with the way our neurodivergencies work i have been unable to form much#closer of a connection to her than friend of a friend#sighs.#any way if i dont get dicked down this summer my pussy may go nuclear <- joking for the record#sex is serious to me when its happening and after care is mandatory but any other time im like teehee sex sex thers no depth to it teehee#deleted the next sentence bcus i aaid to myself. out loud. is that too mcuh#which is an automatic yes ♡
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