#pause isn't she doing an alice in wonderland movie...

[marthamays]

[ashes-0f-phoenix]

Waking Life by Richard Linklater

A diary entry. Don't mind me.

"Can Alice and I come up to your place?"

The Angel said yes, so we did. I guess there is something comforting about having a bunch of crazy young people in your now empty house. Lots of open space for the suffocating brain fog to fill up. In fact, the Prophet tells me, she started to think her very own art exhibition opening ceremony last week was only an acid trip.

"Apple juice, orange juice, coke, beer, water, tea, coffee?" she asks with hospitality stemming from crippling anxiety.

"Jesus Christ..." inability to choose, also stemming from my own brand of crippling anxiety.

"She has spoken. We thirst for the blood of Christ!" the Prophet chimes in.

"I do have some red wine."

-

So there's wine and music and a ridiculous scene of the Angel trying to teach us how to waltz. We're glowing. We help her do the washing up, when she suddenly pauses and loudly exclaims multiple times.

"You won't believe this dream I had!"

I assure her that we will believe and wait eagerly to hear her story. But she doesn't hurry. Saunters into the livingroom, sits down on the floor, rolls herself a cigarette. Places it in a holder like she's goddamn goth Audrey Hepburn. Lights it. Probably enjoying the sight of children so hungry for her words. Divine bastard.

-

"Oh, regarding dreams..."

She watched this movie called Waking Life with the Prophet a couple of days ago and he hasn't shut up about it since. He made me swear that we'd watch it together. Now that all three of us, three beads on a dream-thread, were sitting there in front of a TV, it was obviously a good opportunity to show me.

-

The movie felt like staring into the universe and the universe staring back at me with my own eyes. It was just truth. Truth we'd already known, but hearing it spoken by somebody that is not us was a religious experience. And I'm not exaggerating anything for the sake of romanticism or fancy prose. Everything I say was holy, truth and divine, felt holy, truth and divine on that Thursday afternoon.

"I feel a lot like the main character... Wandering around in a half-awake half-dreaming state, randomly meeting all these interesting people and silently listening to their long philosophical monologues." and the film even addressed my anxiety about being silent and not having as much to say as all these interesting people. Curious.

"But that's the whole idea behind Alice in Wonderland, too, isn't it?" the Angel says, smiling at Alice and the Mad Hatter curled up on her couch. "Just be careful not to drift away completely into dreamland. You go to school, you have family. Those are very important things."

School. Right. It's Thursday. There's still school on Friday. It's eight o'clock and I should get going.

-

"Dream is destiny", declares the movie.