#pastrii don't look

[philomenacunt]

hpg bedroom dynamics post 🥹 explicit. obviously ❤️

zoey/hailey

zoey is bad at being nice because it makes her feel weak, vulnerable, so uses a very simple trick: treats hailey (+ harmony but mostly hailey) like a princess in the bedroom. and that way she never actually has to say "hi i love you so much i think you're gorgeous and funny and smart and interesting", she can just kiss hailey's neck & thighs & eat her out til she's a cute whimpering mess & her hands are in zoey's hair, guiding her, the only time zoey will mindlessly obey her. hailey doesn't catch on at the beginning because she's too busy getting her brains fucked out, but eventually it does become very obvious what zoey is doing. they don't talk about it, though.

hailey is sort of insecure with zoey at first, always waiting for instructions, never taking initiative. this changes a few weeks/months into their relationship.. she gets kinda cocky? she can actually see how she's affecting zoey with her touches and she revels in the feeling of being the one making her feel good, having control over her...she's still scared to go overboard with it or, god forbid, lose control over herself (which won't happen but still). so she never gets too rough, even though zoey would let her, but she's still calling her names, telling her how needy she is for her, maybe edging her? a little? OOH or overstimulating. actually no. orgasm denial seems more their style.

hailey/harmony

harmony is a stone top. she likes taking care of people, making them feel good, also likes the power aspect of it a little bit. she's a soft dom for hailey, she praises her, is so gentle & careful with her. praise is big for these two specifically i think. hailey loves it. harmony loves the look on hailey's face when she tells her she's being such a good girl for her.

hailey is super submissive for harmony. she wants specific commands from harmony, instructions on what to do, how long and how hard to do it, etc etc. they work well together that way!! she's like a little pet. don't think they'd actually be into petplay though. maybe wayy further along the way.

harmony/zoey

harmony isn't gentle with zoey. zoey doesn't want her to be gentle. lots of humiliation, dumbification, just zoey being a dumb little slut for harmony <3 zoey can be a brat, that's part of the fun. i do think harmony puts a leash on her sometimes. it's all about power

yeah zoey is a bratty sub for harmony. she's wild & doesn't listen sometimes & but in the end harmony will always get zoey on her knees to suck her strap while harmony's hands are pulling her hair & she'll give her the cutest prettiest blowjob eyes. is that too much. no it's not this is my own post fuck that. they're dreamy aren't they.

all

they fall into a pretty good rhythm that keeps them all happy pretty quickly. no one does things anyone's uncomfortable with, they ask what the others need, i think collectively the "harmony & her two pets" dynamic is established pretty quickly. i don't think they're collectively into sadomasochism, save for like, hair pulling. harmony does buy collars from them from a queer vegan bdsm online store. OR THRIFTS REAL LEATHER COLLARS. yes actually i love that.

[chillibeanos]

what 5.1 archon quest did yall play?

instead of ancient names, the destruction of natlan, wars and wayobs we got:

1. T4T sex between mavuika and capitano

2. alpha and omega shit

3. phlogiston became pheromones

4. the wayback (wayob)

5. stone statue cockblocking gay sex

6. kinich and ajaw going to chuck e cheese

7. and paimon having an italian mob boss voice

(all of this is part of me and my partners dubbing over the archon quest btw)

[karenchasity]

cheerpreacher

karens an alpha, beckys a beta. they work like a perfectly oiled machine. karen quite literally sniffs out beckys gender immediately and pampers her once every three months to mimic a cycle. nsfw below cut because they make me CRAZY

karen is firm on wearing a condom but generally pretends like she isnt when becky is more out of it. deep down becky knows karen wouldnt be able to get her pregnant very easily (esp with protection) but the way karen is so put together on top of her promising to give her a pup makes her doubt thise deep seated beliefs

[thegeekcollective]

oh my god it's this post (not in a bad way)

[local-soda-can]

you know what would fix me? being a kitty robot and having a big tail and ears and paws

i’d go over to my partners and curl up on their lap and get pets and kisses and i would just purr for hours

i also think i should have sharp fangs so that i can go over and bite them(if they’ll let me) and draw blood and just see how pretty they look with bite marks and bruises and maybe they can bite me back and i would be the one with bruises and blood and bite marks but i wouldn’t care

i wanna be pet and kissed and be called a “pretty kitty” or anything similar maybe even get called a “pretty bot” idk

i wanna have my partners do maintenance on me and play with my wires(maybe they’d get little zaps if they’re not careful enough) if need be they’d have to pull me apart to intricately work on my parts and then ever so carefully put me back together all better and fixed

i’d get so many pets and tummy rubs and kisses if i was a silly little robot kitty……

unfortunately im stuck in my room and have to do work >:[

[pastriibunz]

i feel like ppl misuse my filter tag sometimes because. tbh its pretty confusing what sets me off so i'll try to help:

im okay with like. sex jokes ! i make sex jokes all the time !! if youre like. bein silly goofy about it im chill with that !!

also. i'm pretty okat with like. referencing it?? mild mentions and stuff. and like. if the intent wasn't sexual in nature yk??? im chill with that

what i'm NOT okay with is just. major sex references, cropped nsfw images, talking about wanting to fuck something (whether human or object or whatever), posts with like. very obvious sexual intent, really horny shit, kinks or anything like that. smut. stuff like that. it makes me really uncomfortable whne i see stuff like that and i wanna puke or take a shower and i feel really gross :[

also. this is also for my mutuals who don't use my filter tag. please use it guys . it makes me uncomfy. and theres so many tags for nsfw stuff its just easier for me to filter it out with the "pastrii don't look" tag.

pastrii psa over

[beaniibunzz]

The Kai Drew And Bean Power Hour!!!

This is an ask blog made by three(3) silly goobers about their silly goobers

the main mods are:

🥤: Fizz :> [@local-soda-can] (the main mod/runner of the blog)

prns: they/it/he

🥐: Pastrii :D [@pastriibunz] (the main artist!)

prns: she/her

🌶️: Chilli :3 [@chillibeanos] (ai voice maker, also draws sometimes)

prns: any

Kai is extremely cartoonish and goofy. She likes to go with the flow, she can get into some pretty wacky shenanigans because of this(she ended up running the mafia in her hometown of Unington- don't ask how). Unington is a New Orleans looking town, it acts like a safe space for anyone who wants to join. Almost anybody and everybody is welcome. She tries her best to be as selfless as possible(considering she’s the Savior Of The Multiverse™️). She’s just such a character and even has her own verb; Drewy! You could find her walking down the streets of Unington, saving the day, singing and dancing on stage (She’s one hell of a performance artist!), or working her second (or third, depending on how you see it) job at Unington’s very own Suave Cafe!

Bean is a very goofy rabbit hybrid that lives a joyous life of crime, although they do end up saving anyone who they feel like saving. They’re a galactic and earthbound outlaw, plus the mayor of a wonderful suburban town called Auburn, many of the friends they meet on their journey end up living there(plus their spouses(yes spouses- plural-)). They’re part of The Guardians Of The Galaxy, work with Tony Stark, and they’re a Spider-man!

Monika and Bendy are Kai’s parents! At first, it was only Bendy who had adopted Kai but she ended up in DDLC somehow and Monika adopted her without knowing about Bendy’s adoption. They now take care of Kai together, despite not really liking each other- But they try to be the best parents they can be :D

Sam and Max are Bean’s parents! They found Bean in an alleyway when they were small. The two of them tried looking for Bean’s parents, but after a while they ended up adopting them. They love Bean with all their hearts and try to be good parents :>

Kai’s friend group consists of Hanako-Kun, Nene Yashiro, Mitsuba Sousuke, Minamoto Kou, and Kel Clover! Kel’s the mom friend, Yashiro is the emotional whirlwind, Mitsuba is the instigator, Hanko flirts a lot with Kai (she is an idiot and thinks its all just jokes (It's not)) and Kou’s here for the ride. Even though they come from different universes, the five(5) of them bond wonderfully and love being in Unington with Kai. 

Bean and Kai are unofficial siblings. Bean is the older one, and is kinda protective of Kai. Kai is the younger one, and hates that Bean has jurisdiction over her. They love each other :D

Bean’s friend group changes a bunch, but the main ones are Pavitr Prabhakar, Deadpool, Akiyama Mizuki, Chelsea, Link, and Stocking Anarchy. They do shenanigans all the time, they’re just very goofy in general. 

The Stupids™️ consist of Izuku Midoriya, Stan Marsh, and Wally Darling. They seem to be.. .obsessed with Kai and never leave her alone(except Midoriya, he’s the only good one and actually respects Kai :>).

Bean has many spouses(about 97 of them-) but the main ones are Leon Kennedy, Scaramouche, and Monarch. They’re very goofy and love Bean with all their hearts :D 

Even though Kai has been officially adopted by Bendy and Monika, other people still want to adopt her. The two main offenders are Leon Kennedy (who doesn’t need Bean to co-parent with him, as he can, and I quote, “Be both the mom and the dad!”) and Reese Verlice (Not Pictured). What can I say, she’s adoptable!

Kai and her friends get into silly shenanigans whenever they can, her friends also act as a “secret service” for Kai.

Kai and her parents get along wonderfully, her parents both do the best they can to provide a nice childhood for their daughter(even if they hate each other-).

Kai thinks her parents' fights are funny, especially when they notice her watching and pretend to be all lovey dovey. Kai can cook, despite what most people think. However, nobody in her large family can cook (Yashiro managed to burn straight up water once, don’t ask how). 

Kai desperately wants The Stupids™️ to leave her alone-(except Midoriya, he’s cool :>)

Kai likes all the spouses! Except for Scara, he’s mean to her. (Fun Fact: Monarch ended up rizzing up BOTH Bean and Kai, but he’s mostly a Bean spouse.)

Bean and their friends are absolutely goofy, these people get in shenanigans almost every day.

Bean and their parents are a wonderful trio, there isn’t a single dull day with them as their parents try to make Bean happy.

Bean loves each of their spouses equally(there definitely isn’t a favorite- and it’s definitely not Leon-).Bean hates The Stupids™️(except for Midoriya, they tolerate him-).

Important Power Hour Links!: Pastrii’s Character.AIs!!!

Pastrii’s Power Hour Intro/Boundaries List!

“Puppet Girl!” - Chapter Masterlink!

We hope you enjoy the show and don’t forget to ask away!!! Yes we may not be THAT popular or famous, but it’s still fun to at least try and be goofy :> 🥐: Don't forget to reblog, it helps a lot yk??? (I have never used tumblr i have no clue what im talking about) 🥤: I am the tumblr expert (I also have no clue what I'm talking about-)

[gayestclarinet]

Told my so called my friends my current standards and they called me kinky bitch and bottom (derogatory)

Mean to me

[sweethangman]

they need to have evil awful horrible gay sex (talking about two characters who interacted once and hate each other)

[philomenacunt]

see cheerpreacher is so interesting to me because both karen & becky have devoted their lives to other people. becky with her patients, karen with her family (& probably church and community as a whole)

long ramble post incoming. sort of incomprehensible to some probably !!!! to most 😭. warning for. idk like one small paragraph referencing sex

and they just. aren't true or good to themselves. i feel

they both so Desperately need to stop living only for other people and i feel like they could really really figure that out together? indulge, care for themselves, be honest with themselves...

in my opinion they also just feel so guilty. like.

becky feels an insane amount of guilt about stanley, karen is dealing with internalized homophobia & the guilt of "leaving" her family & religious guilt.......

and then ofc all the insecurities. karen has never been with a woman before plus she's older than becky and she has a kid, how could someone like becky (who could have anyone) ever be interested in her.........meanwhile becky is like

i feel like. after getting to know each other maybe through the hospital? becky works there & karen reads to sick kids, or something. they're totally taking care of each other, confiding in one another, telling each other things they haven't told anyone else. and then.

they realize they're gay. and of course they don't tell each other it because karen has a fucking family and is a good christian woman who's married to an amazing guy and she Can't be gay. at the same time becky feels so fucking bad, almost predatory, for having thoughts like these about a woman who's like the first real friend she's had in literal years. angst potential !

when karen slowly starts accepting. it. the fear of being predatory also reaches her bc she is about. 7 years older than becky. & she takes care of her (reminds her to drink lots of water, be nice to herself, they have conversations abt her trauma, etc) & she's actually terrified becky sees her as more of a mother figure. which becky doesn't. but karen thinks she might so it's a whole new layer of "i'm disgusting i'm dangerous. she trusts me & here i am having these thoughts about her"

but even if. even fucking if! you know what let's go there. maybe becky likes the feeling of an older woman being nice to her & loving her. she never got it as a child (headcanon) so why should she deny herself now. even if she wants to call karen mommy sometimes when she's going down on her & making her feel safe and warm and good. as if a mommy kink is so scandalous we've all read fics with it. why am i being so defensive. it's because i'm projecting BUT STILL!!!!!!!!!!

this is so. omg. i'm so sorry everyone schere 🖖

all in all their sex life is calm and good and. really slow and warm. and it's exactly what they both need. they need attention and care and love and that's what they get from each other....

they're so sweet. they're sweet and good and warm. so sweet

[philomenacunt]

burnerphone coded plaques from this art project by jenny holzer.... sorry this is so many images i just think they're neat

oh. and this one just for fun

hoooly shit holy fuck. they make me so insane. them both being very aware of the danger they put each other in but they can't stop, it hurts so bad but so good

THE LAST ONE COULD ALSO BE POST BURNERPHONE HOLYPHONE. sorry to hijack. OR. okay hear me out on this one. holysmokes dynamic but grace tames lex. oh you wanna be a bitch to steph. yeah okay she'll call you out on it. grace CAN be very mean i think she could fix lex. although "fixing", in grace's eyes, might make someone a lot worse

[philomenacunt]

smokeshow 2 me is. lex & zoey meeting at a party & getting high together. lex thinks zoey is an obnoxious brat & zoey thinks lex is a gross junkie & when they fuck lex is mumbling something about some girl named steph having pissed her off and zoey moans two other names. and it's not good or fun or even what they want, they're just really bored & wanna feel wanted.

[chillibeanos]

guys the cast list came out and i got charles in my schools production of beetlejuice

.....do i just make him will wood-

[philomenacunt]

karen who doesnt know shes a top/soft dom-y until she meets becky.... decades of inexplicably mediocre, unsatisfying sex resolved by one pathetic woman.

both of them thinking their fantasies are way out of character for the other ("becky would never want me to do that"/"karen would never do that with me") + contributing to the mutual predatory feelings. theyre so bad at this god bless failgirl lesbians

GOD BLESS FAILGIRL LESBIANS. you're so right you are a fucking visionary. hello. screams. mutual predatory feelings. you get them. GOD. insane truly they're so ARGH. they're so slow about it too they're asking if everything is okay they're asking if that's good they're asking if they should do that again....so quiet and warm. and perfect and exactly what they need

[chillibeanos]

get me a bowl of this shit and ur getting head-

[philomenacunt]

okay so i have Thoughts after finishing watching it

pete is so aggressively normal in comparison to the rest of them (the high schoolers) and i love that for him. and like maybe stephanie is fairly normal too. but pretty girls scare me.

i don't know what high schoolers are like cause i dropped out when i was 12 so this might as well be what high school is really like. i'm going to pretend it is.

the telemarketer x ruth gag got me every time.

i NEED a backstory on max jägerman. i feel like he has the potential to be such a complex character

i love being alive! fucking dies might be one of my favorite moments

for 0.1 secs i really had hope nothing bad would happen, because max misread their intentions in luring him to the waylon place. i was like "omg he probably has his own problems and maybe he could be The Redeemed Character and everyone will get along" but no. in retrospect it was stupid to think that but eh.

why did ruth die??? i liked her sm omg. misery wretchedness despair and hellfire on planet earth T-T

not the barista spitting in pete's cup. i hate that that made me physically ill. this is why i don't go outside

"are you a woman of faith?" "catholic." "i'll take that as a no." fucking killed me omg.

as someone who used to be devoutly christian, grace is so relatable but disturbing to watch in equal measures. the guilt, the 'divine retribution' she thinks she's meting out, the justifications, the repression, just chef's kiss. like i get that it's played off as a humorous gag like half the time and it IS funny but it's also so so serious to me.

i thought they were gonna make grace give up her bible as the thing she treasured most but i guess the way things went makes more sense

are we ever gonna get more info on the lords in black? cause i feel like they were way too interesting and full of potential for the tiny amount of screen time they got.

i am headcanon-ing at LEAST half of em as aro, trans, or both and no one can stop me

ms tessburger is so pretty i fear she is sooo my type it's not even funny anymore i want her to sit on my face what who said that

YEYSYYSYS HOLY SHIT YOU GET IT!!!!! YOUG ET IT SOOOO HARD OMG!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND IT SOOOOO HARD ITS CRAZY YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAA

ESPECIALLY regarding grace & the aro hcs

and do NOT worry, the lib are like a HUGE theme in nightmare time & the other musicals

the miss tessburger thing is so insanely fucking real. i literally need her so bad