#part of me wants a symbolic brit or something but i don't think i'll feel like... incomplete without it

[son-of-avraham]

I've thought in the past about how I'd want to interact with brit as a transsexual man, but it looks like I shouldn't have to worry about that because my medical records show that I had a circumcision as part of my surgery history 🥳🥳🥳

[son-of-avraham]

Mazel Tov!

I saw quite a while ago you mentioned that you were considering doing something like hatafat dam brit, so I'm just wondering, did you end up doing that? Of course no pressure to share if you don't want to, I'm not trying to make you defend your Jewishness or anything, I'm just curious because that's something I might do.

I'm the same anon that originally asked you if trans men do brit milah

I want to clarify that I thought about doing something symbolic, and to be clear (and as far as I'm aware), no movement requires you to do the brit or hatafat dam brit if you're a man (or otherwise) of trans experience. My rabbi was hesitant to force me into doing brit, but when I actually told him I'm trans, he was like, "yup, that checks out, good on you for having the privilege of being about check out of that obligation." It's not a big deal at all if you do not or are not able to fulfill this mitzvah. I just opted out of that and carried on, it is not deep at all. I cannot speak on other trans experiences, so you have to remember that this isn't universal.

While I didn't need to do it, I still have knowledge about how it would have went down for me if I did, and from what I know, this is pretty similar in many places. I'll take the time to outline it here because I think there are some anxieties people have about all of this, and I don't think it needs to be a stressful or humiliating experience. Always be sure to ask your rabbi about the particulars, though. I'm speaking in generalities.

So, first, they would have exposed about a square centimeter of skin - they do not want to see your business, truly. Any skin that doesn't need to be exposed will be covered up. When they go to prick the skin, it is with a very small needle because you really only need a tiny amount for a valid hatafat dam brit. I can assure anyone reading this now that it won't hurt unless your pain tolerance is abnormally low. They don't use a big gauge at all because it isn't necessary, and I can tell you right now for a fact that it is going to be the least problematic part of the entire process. For me, they'd've done it a little before the mikvah, but I think it's common for it to be done prior to that moment.

The things that seem the scariest to people converting (hatafat dam brit and the full immersion with a witness) are often very, very unintimidating when you actually experience it. I was a bit nervous to do my immersion, but my rabbi witnessed it and there was a railing I hung my robe over for modesty. We don't want you to feel humiliated or embarrassed over these things, but I do think it's a very powerful, very human experience. For me going in the mikvah, I felt very human, if that makes sense. We want you to have that experience. We want you to know what it feels like, to have thousands of years of people - of lives - surrounding you all at once. That's what we are about.