#part of it is feeling that yeah sure i'm writing f/f fic for a fandom that's overwhelmingly obsessed with the male characters

[sunrisemiracles]

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready. I trust you."

Tbh I'm not sure I'll finish writing this fic. Apparently I don't have the same stomach for crafting emotional torment and toxic relationships I did when I was a teenager. Writing the most recent chapter took a lot out of me. I dunno. We'll see.

[lord-squiggletits]

Something about being an IDW OP fan is that even in positive works about him I feel like his problematic aspects are brought up way too often even in an appreciative way.

Ignore the haters of IDW OP/other characters I'm using as an example bc I'm talking about how fans talk about their own faves.

Like with Prowl fans, they know he's problematic but they pretty much just go "yeah he's an asshole what about it" or just don't acknowledge it at all and write/draw what they want to see. Some might allude to ACAB stuff but they don't do a disclaimer on every post about him with "btw I know cops are bastards and war crimes are evil I just think he's neat"

Pharma stans make content about him, whether apologism or just fun haha chainsaw doctor, without having to constantly be like "medical malpractice is bad and all but" or "He kills people and that's definitely important to talk about but" they just write about Pharma being a tragic/evil character and that's that

Megatron fans definitely are willing to talk about him being problematic, but again that element of self consciousness isn't there and ppl write headcanons and fics and stuff without Megatron having to turn around in the narration and go "oh I'm evil I'm so awful no one should be like me" as a sign to the audience that the author doesn't condone Megatron's actions and thinks colonialism is bad

I'm sure I could come up with other examples but like it's just weird to me that even among ppl who like IDW Optimus (and I'm not immune to this either), there's like this self-effacing attitude where ppl can't just say "I like him" or "It was cool when he did this" without almost ALWAYS preceding it with some sort of "He is a cop but" or "He's kind of a jerk but" or "I would hate him IRL but" as if there's some sort of Transformers fandom panopticon saying that you're not allowed to talk positively about IDW OP without first mentioning all of his flaws/problematic aspects. People sort of speak about him as if he's enjoyable or well written DESPITE being problematic, or that enjoying him has to be justified bc him being problematic automatically makes him repulsive. As opposed to merely talking about IDW OP as he is, and the problematic parts of him are thinks you can talk about or not talk about just depending on your mood and what angle you want to approach. No, every post or conversation has to always allude to how "IDW OP is an asshole, but he also has positive traits" or "I know he's problematic, but hear me out."

Hell even tho I'm seeing a little more fic about IDW OP or OPs with more IDW elements, it still feels as if most writers put him in situations where he goes "yeah I'm sorry I'm problematic and did bad things" as if he has to confess his sins publicly before being allowed to be a person. Or that the author feels the need to write him as such to reassure the audience "No actually I know ACAB just because I like IDW OP doesn't mean I'm not progressive look here I'm writing a story about everyone calling him an asshole for being a cop and OP kisses Megatron's ass because revolutionaries are actually right and it's only state propaganda that maligns them as violent and capable of wrong."

Idk I just think that among people who enjoy problematic characters, there are still a lot of fans who are either immature or self-conscious in their enjoyment of problematic characters. Where they DO have that enjoyment but they feel the need to make public disclaimers constantly or write their stories in a moralizing way to demonstrate how well they know that character is problematic. To contrast, I think true "problematic character" enjoyment comes when people can just LIKE A CHARACTER and it's a morally neutral act where they don't feel the need to make demonstrations about how transgressive it is and how their taste in fictional characters definitely doesn't reflect their real life morality.

It's just saddening bc even tho these days, there are lots of people who like IDW OP and there's fewer people being assholes about him, it still feels as if content about him is self-conscious of the fact and won't let him exist as a character/funny guy in your brain/vessel of themes and plot and instead it's some sort of Hays Code-esque thing where every time he appears on screen at least one person has to call him a cop bastard so the audience knows the fanfiction isn't copaganda.

But what if instead IDW OP fans and fan content had the same energy as other problematic character fanbases like Prowl or Megatron and we could just go "yeah here's a story about my favorite guy" without making a whole disclaimer about it

[riacte]

Part of the weirdness about m/f ships feels like this kind of performativity from insecure queer teens? At least I think so based on my own experiences. I've always been a big multishipper who likes f/f m/m m/f and any other kind of ship equally but there was awhile where I felt kinda ashamed if I liked a m/f ship "too much" bc I felt like I wasn't gay enough. Like I wasn't queer enough if I didn't ship gay ships enough. Even now (tho I've gotten better) I still feel this obligation to keep the ratios of ship fics I read "even" so I can prove I'm still a good queer. I think in my case it's probably part of my internalized biphobia (since I feel a similar obligation to make I prove I have attraction to all genders and am really bi "enough" in my actual daily life) and it's a similar feeling of stress at having to constantly police your own identity/attraction/interests.

It's unfortunate that this kind of insecurity in how queer we are seems so common in queer people especialky those of us who are young one w/out much actual dating experience (who make a large part of this fandom. This sort of "who even ships m/f lol gay ships only" I've seen others in this fandom doing feels very much like a way of coping with that insecurity, by proving you're gay enough through your ships. I'm sure there are plenty of people who simply are just not interested in m/f but I'm sure there are also others like me, trying to prove we're queer enough by carefully curating our fandom interests.

My thoughts on m/f ships is that the end of the day, shipping is just shipping. It doesn't actually necessarily say much about your sexuality or what you actually want in a relationship and certainly doesn't mean you're less queer.

(Obviously there are other factors too in the weird attitude ppl in the mcyt fandom have about m/f ships, but this is one that has affected me a lot and I've never seen anyone else talk about it so I wanted to bring it up. Idk I hope I made sense)

Thanks for the ask! It was really nice seeing this as a bi person who heavily mains m/f and sometimes feels bad for it (I also main friendships but I mained m/f reallllly hard pre 2020 aka. before this fandom).

Yeah, I feel like it could also be like "we see so much m/f in real life so we should go hard on the other options to even it out". This fandom specifically there's been problems of irl truthing in comments so I completely understand why people shy from it, but it's 2024, we're quite developed in the character vs cc divide, shipping m/f isn't the end of the world.

I do feel guilt over maining m/f (then liking f/f and m/m, in that order, yes Treebark is the exception and my first m/m that I really got into), like for a looong time I was pretty sure it was just terrible heteronormativity that I needed to kill, but now I feel like it's a mix of heteronormativity (which I fight like daily lmfao) and just. being attracted to men and women both. Because when I write m/f, I can write about being attracted to women and men all in one neat package. And it feels "equal" to me. I do tend to prefer pieces of media with an equal gender ratio, or at least the leads are (eg. Miraculous Ladybug (my ex fandom lmao), Kagerou Project (ex fandom, stares into the distance), Spy x Family, Assassination Classroom) so I can love male and female characters. When reading fics, I like reading about loving a man from a woman's pov and loving a woman from a man's pov. Even in HC with its highly uneven gender ratio, this manifests in the corner I've tucked myself into (False, Ren, Stress, Iskall, etc). Although I do also like media with mostly female characters - Love Live (another ex fandom lol), Precure, Madoka Magica, Nikkiverse - and I do read stuff, I just don't really write for them because I wanna write about girls AND guys. Shippy or not. And this leads me to main m/f a lot. That's my personal taste.

Side note: as a kid, I was frustrated by media aimed at boys which had like a whole cast of boys and one token (cardboard cutout) girl AND media aimed at girls which had a whole cast of girls and almost no boys. 9yo me in co-ed school was like "well this doesn't feel very pro gender equality, I want books with the same amount of boys AND girls :((((( oh wait. I can just write it." And.... it ended up defining what I write now? Even outside of shipping, I like m+f friendships a lot. Because I still get to write about a guy and a girl even if they don't kiss or whatever. Idk. Am I cursed with an extreme case of heteronormativity and / or internalised homophobia or am I bisexual. Maybe both. Idk.

Maybe I do have boring stupid milquetoast hetero taste whatever but I'm having a good time in my fandoms and my ships / dynamics. I like writing about my guys and girls and I'll keep on doing it. And I am queer. I am bisexual. This doesn't change.

Anyways watching HTTYD at a young age changed me. Hiccstrid you will always be my origin story <3

Thanks for the ask again! We don't have to prove our queerness because we are queer. Everyone has different tastes. And m/f does get a bad reputation in queer spaces because oftentimes it's done badly and ofc the enemy.... heteronormativity [evil].

Final note re sibling fanon: if you have to turn friends into siblings just to show you're not shipping, you are coming back to heteronormativity. Why can't a (straight) man and a (straight) woman be friends only. What assumptions are you making?

[aurorawest]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @lowkeyed1 - thank you and sorry it took me so long to do it!

Tagging @bereft-of-frogs, @rosieposiepuddingnpie, and @nostalgia-tblr

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

An even 150!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

2,230,050

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At this point my fanfiction output is pretty sparse, but in the last two years, I've written primarily MCU. I've also written for Captive Prince, Six of Crows, The Daevabad Trilogy, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue, Some Desperate Glory, and The Watchmaker of Filigree Street. Over the years I've written in tons of fandoms.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy (MCU, Loki & Thor)

The General Mess and Imprecision of Feeling (MCU, Loki/Stephen Strange)

Sleight of Hand (MCU, Loki & Stephen Strange)

You Come to Me Wild and Wired (MCU, unrelated ficlets, Loki/Stephen Strange)

They Change Their Sky, Not Their Soul, Who Rush Across the Sea (MCU, Loki & Thor)

The first three are all part of my 10 fic Loki series, it's not going to matter if we fall down twice.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Goddddd I've become so bad at it. I used to respond to every single one. One of my projects/goals is to go back and respond to people, but of course, my AO3 inbox is totally overwhelming at this point, and every time I see the number of comments I haven't responded to, I become paralyzed. I need to man up and just start chipping away.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Do No Harm (MCU, Loki/Stephen Strange) and Anamnesis (Weyoun, Star Trek: Deep Space 9) are probably tied on this one.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

I primarily write happy endings so...most of them, haha. But I guess The General Mess and Imprecision of Feeling, since it's the HEA at the end of 10 fics. It's a seriously hard-won HEA haha.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have! I've been called a pedo on some Wreck-It Ralph fic (that was my introduction to purity culture, btw). Idk if I'd call this hate, but I once had a reader get pretty upset that an OFC in A Full and Factual Account of Asgard didn't turn out to be a love interest for Loki.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure do! Honestly writing smut might be my favorite thing to write, haha. Whenever I get to a Big Sex Scene in my original stuff, I sigh in relief that I'm finally going to have an easy writing night. I've written m/f and m/m, but I have way more m/m, and an occasional m/m/m. It's mostly sappy, vanilla, OTP stuff, but I love me some dub and noncon, so there are a few of those amidst the gooey soulmate smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not really, though I did in my youth. Honestly they're...all kind of crazy. When I was in my early teens I wrote a 4 fic series that was a crossover between The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (the books by Patricia C Wrede), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (the Disney movie), and Newsies (the movie). It had time travel. And dragons, obviously. I also at one point was writing a crossover between Newsies (yes, I had a Newsies phase) and Doctor Mordrid, an obscure fantasy B-movie from the 90s starring Jeffrey Combs. Fun fact! It was actually supposed to be Dr. Strange, but they lost the rights before they made the movie.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep. It was a Harry Potter fic. I threatened legal action (lol) and they took it down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

People have definitely asked me if they can translate my fics, so I think so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah, I had a friend I wrote a Loki & Thor fic with. I also used to collab on fics with my sister when we were kids.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I guess it's gotta be Loki/Stephen Strange.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a DS9 fic about Eris, a Vorta who was only in one episode, where she's an agent who's infiltrated a rebel Vorta/Jem'Hadar cell. I LOVE that fic, but I just...don't see myself ever finishing it. Maybe someday I'll file the serial numbers off and turn it into an original work. It probably wouldn't be that hard because it's set hundreds of years before DS9 takes place, and I did a lot of original worldbuilding.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, character, romance, sexual tension, pretty polished first drafts. I don't know if I'd consider it a strength yet, but I feel like I've really improved my pacing over the past year.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably visual scene setting, haha. I'm pretty thin on describing what the physical location LOOKS like. I'm better at describing sounds and smells, because honestly that's what sticks with me personally from a place, not how it looks.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've definitely done it. I took many years of Spanish so I'm pretty confident that when I write in Spanish, it makes sense. I can tell when google translate is wrong, haha. One of my novels (coming out next year!) has some Afrikaans, and a South African sensitivity reader didn't say any of it was wrong. Though that reminds me, I really should message my friend/former safari guide to see if she has any complaints about the Afrikaans in it, haha.

IMO when you write dialogue in another language in a fic, you have to assume the reader doesn't speak that language, so you need to let them know what that dialogue says through context. I read a book recently where there was quite a bit of Quebecois French, and there were end notes with the translation, and...eh, it was a pain to flip back and forth to the end of the book.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first time I sat down with the intention of writing a story with a beginning, middle, and end (I didn't finish it), it was an Enchanted Forest Chronicles fic. This was before I'd ever heard of the internet, so I didn't even know that what I was doing was called fanfiction.

Though, my mom made me a scrapbook of a bunch of childhood stuff for my 40th birthday, and it included what I can only call a Lion King AU where the characters from The Lion King go to Camp Snoopy in the Mall of America. So idk, maybe that.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

I think in some ways Anamnesis is the most ambitious single fic I've ever written, in that it's a difficult story. But I probably have to give the nod to it's not going to matter if we fall down twice. I'm totally cheating because it's a series, but I'm going to be really proud of it for my whole life so I'm going to take every opportunity to plug it, haha.

Thank you again for the tag!

[redlightspellsdaanger]

20 Questions for Fic Writers - Big thanks to the mega fabulous @kaossbells for tagging me!  

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

22 (look at that, Jenson's racing number...) 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

635,019

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

Only F1 now. In the past I've mostly written for Muse. I've also written for BBC Sherlock. I have been writing since I was a kid, though, so there was a lot of stuff that didn't even make it online, let alone to AO3 lol 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

Dance Me To The Moon (F1 / Sebastian Vettel), Zero Minus Ten (Muse), Everything of Nothing (Muse), Never Dream of Dying (Muse) and Resistance (Muse) 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

Absolutely. Unfortunately it's very common that readers do not give the authors any feedback. So if someone goes out of their way to show any kind of support or, as some very kind people do, leave detailed reviews, I will be incredibly grateful and make sure to let them know. 

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

I often end my stories in a positive note, even the ones who have a vague or open ended finale. But I'd say a Muse one-off I wrote in 2009 called "Il Coma" was heavy for my standards. Also Never Dream of Dying, but that was part of a trilogy so not sure it counts. (well, the readers at the time were not pleased with the TBC, let's put it that way LOL)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Currently, on AO3, I think Dance Me To The Moon. I don't want to spoil but it's a romance so.... haha  

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

I don't remember ever getting hate tbh.  

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

Oh, yeah. Lots. Ha. All kinds. M/M. F/M. Threesomes. I've done PWP. I've done kink. I've done romance. I've done dubious/non-con. I've (literally) written smut sitting in a church. I've gotten to the point where I'm sort of getting bored of writing it.  

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

Yes. I once wrote a Muse / BBC Sherlock crossover - Showbiz. It was incredibly fun to plot. It was well received, too, so I enjoyed that! The Mb-7 universe trilogy is also a crossover of sorts between Muse and Daniels Craig's James Bond, because characters such as M and Q feature.  

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

If I did, I never noticed.  

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

I was once asked for permission for someone to translate a story, I felt very honoured! 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Yes, the whole MB-7 trilogy was co-written with one of my best friends. 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

In F1 I will have to say Sebastian with Jenson or with Mark. (although in reality I like him with everyone lol). But Mulder / Scully from The X Files and Matt Bellamy / Dom Howard from Muse are probably my OTPs.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

I don't really have WIPs because although I have a lot of ideas and have plotted things in detail that never materialised, I only start writing once I am 100% I will write it in full.

The only exception - and therefore a regret I never finished - is a sequel to the BBC Sherlock / Muse crossover. I wrote a few pages and sadly that was it.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

Hard for me to answer this. But I try to make the characters as realistic and true to life as possible. I also make it a point of having a decently structured plot.  

17. What are your writing weaknesses? 

Oh, god, where to start. I feel immediately restricted in how and what I write because my command of English (as second language) is not as good as I wish it would be. Then I'm also a very slow writer and edit endlessly. I tend to repeat ideas and certain expressions. I don't know, we could be here all day lol  

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

Very cool! I love languages and especially in F1 it's very fitting.  

19. First fandom you wrote for? 

It was a TV show and I don't remember the name, I was a kid. The first one I do remember was for an American band called Matchbox 20.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

This is SO hard to reply! I'm going to leave out one-shots (which kills me cos there is a few I still love) and mention only chaptered stuff:

Dance Me To The Moon (F1) because I never thought I'd be able to write a romance and I was so incredibly proud of myself, was fully emerged in it and I will carry these two with me for the rest of my life.

Resistance  (Muse) because it was the first time I wrote a novel length thriller that I felt had all I wanted and it was such an enjoyable process.

Everything or Nothing (Muse) because it was the first of the MB-7 trilogy, it was co-written, we adored our villain, the huge amount of nods to James Bond. And it kicked off a series with a level of plot intricacy that I will never be able to top.

Showbiz (Sherlock / Muse) because it was such a crazy crossover but I had so much fun dissecting Sherlock and I was very happy with the result.

Honourable nod to a figure skating fanfic I wrote with Alexei Yagudin / Michelle Kwan, years ago. It was self-indulgence of the greatest kind and I loved writing every word of it. I have no idea if it's online anywhere atm. I wish I could remember the title!

tagging @magnycours2004, and anyone who would like to participate!!!

[bananasomg]

fic writer interview

tagged by @randomwordsonpaper 🫶🏼 tysm! :)

How many works do you have on AO3?

11 works on AO3 currently.

What's your total AO3 word count?

51,277. my fics are short and sweet (FOR NOW... 😉)

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

tell her it's over

not very subtle

the boy is mine

bedroom angel

this can't last forever

these one-shots are all from my series Scenes from 2024, which follows the current F1 season. i've really enjoyed taking inspo from the current race happenings and giving some IRL interactions a lestappen™️ spin. 😏 thank you everyone for the love you've showed.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

absolutely always respond! i'm honored when fellow writers and readers in the fandom leave a comment, and i really appreciate everyone who's taken the time to share their feelings about lestappen. 💕

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

currently no fics i've published have an angsty ending; however, the most angsty fic in general is a brief respite, in which Charles is struggling in Japan.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

all my fics have fairly happy endings, but maybe after hours, which is a cute, fluffy slice of life after Imola in which Charles surprises Max by taking him on a mini vacation and Max realizes Charles may be the one for him. 😊

Do you write crossovers?

no, i do not, but i applaud any authors that do! it takes so much time and energy to balance multiple fandoms and niche elements of each, so it's amazing to see work being created through crossovers!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nah. my advice? if you dislike a work, just DNF and move on. no need to spread unprompted hate in strangers' inboxes. 💜

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i... uh. 🙈 why yes. yes, i do. my ao3 is all M/M, but i have written M/F for some other fandoms. it's fairly vanilla and not very kinky... FOR NOW. 😏 *cough Luminous Fall*

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don't think so, and for anyone that HAS stolen someone else's work and claimed it as your own, disrespectfully fuck you. leave other peoples' intellectual property alone TY.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but when i first started scenes, someone did ask if they could translate it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

welllllllllllLLLLLLLLLLLL actually i'm working on a co-authored fic rn with @mvlionheart. Pornstar!Max AU. 🔥 it's a slower WIP, but it's our baby, and we wanna take our time to make it right. i'm very VERY excited about it. posting schedule TBD. ✨

What's your all-time favourite ship?

LOL. dramione. plz don't analyze me. 🤐

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

the main one i'm thinking of right now is a dark!AU ft. lestappen which entails a seedy contractual obligation which gives certain FIA-approved individuals free-use of drivers who finish P20. i'm fucked up, ok? 🫡 so yeah. that may not see the light of day, but... never say never.

What are your writing strengths?

i guess... dialogue and characterization...? maybe?

What are your writing weaknesses?

external conflict and conflict-resolution for sure. i feel like i'm good at the feeling part of things, the internal turmoil, but making things happen TO and AROUND characters that affect the story is one thing i've always been consistently called out to do more of.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you like it, do it. and HOT TAKE 🔥: it's ok if i don't know what they're saying. i get there maybe be issues with grammar, tense, word choice, etc. that's not why i read fic. because the point isn't that i need to know the exact translation. the point is that i need to believe that character when they switch to their native tongue. i need to feel that they're so fucked out, in love, overwhelmed, embarrassed, scared, excited, sad, WHAT HAVE YOU... that the only thing they can possibly say is something in their own language. so yeah i said what i said. 🎤

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

tokio hotel. iykyk.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

maybe heartstopper. :) but i don't usually write underage characters.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

possibly this bottom!max fic: it's alright, babe. so much lestappen features top!max, and i wanted to give bottom!max some love. 💕

no pressure tags 🏷️: @fabbyf1 @chock-and-bates @saviour-of-lord

[anneapocalypse]

Writing Wrap-up and 2024 Goals

It's a weird year to be doing a wrap-up, because I did not post a whole lot this year and I'm not sure I even set any goals last January thanks to having covid and being sick and exhausted for weeks, which still kind of feels like it threw off my whole year even though that sounds dramatic. Whatever. I've moped enough about it being a bad year for writing; now, I want to look forward.

2023 Wrap-Up

In case you'd like to read the one fic I did post this year, it's "Before You Go", a Loghain/Maric fic for Dragon Age (3022 words, rated E), which I am still quite happy with! And though it's not writing, I also made a podfic of RosellaWrites' gorgeous fic "let them not make me a stone (and let them not spill me)" (and if you're not interested in podfic you should still go read Rosella's fic, seriously, it's great).

While November 2022 was the last time I made substantial progress on A Hero Sleeps in Gwaren (my Briala/F!Tabris longfic for Dragon Age), I did make a few attempts to chip away at the draft this year. I didn't keep any records of what progress I made, but lucky for me Scrivener has a writing history feature that can at least give me a ballpark, and... it says I added 17,326 words to the draft this year (all in the first half of the year), which, not gonna lie, seems unreal to me. The first half of this year is mud in my head, so the fact that I did in fact get some writing done is really encouraging.

Over the summer, FFXIV started to really consume me as I had finished ARR by that point and my investment in the story was growing, and I also started taking a more active leadership role in my tiny free company, and so for the back half of the year I've mostly been writing little snippets about my Warrior of Light Ariane and her adventures and relationships, some of which may become part of actual fics later. This totals out to about 19,500 words at the moment.

So I only posted about 3000 words, but in total I wrote almost 40K this year. Is that a fantastic year, no... but honestly, it's a lot better than what my brain has been telling me I've accomplished this year, which is nothing. :P So I'm glad that I sat down to actually find the numbers!

Onward and upward.

So what's next?

2024 Goals

Fandom:

Finish one longfic.

Write and post a one-shot.

Do one exchange.

Original:

Outline an original novel.

Write a poem.

Send out one piece.

Tentatively my immediate plans are to get started outlining and then writing my Ariane/Haurchefant fic. I'm on the fence about February. On the one hand, it would be great to come back to my Briala/F!Tabris longfic for Femslash February, but on the other hand there's a high probability I'm going to be playing Endwalker by that point and I have no hope of keeping my head in Dragon Age during that time, so it's probably best not to commit to it. Dragon Age fic might be best saved for after I've caught up on MSQ when there are (hopefully) a few months still left to wait for Dawntrail and I can take a little break to let it marinate while I work on something else. My enthusiasm for the Briala/Tabris fic has not waned despite the long hiatus, and just yesterday I was reading bits of the draft and getting excited again, so I do hope to finish that this year and get to share it with you.

The alternate candidate for February is either keep working on the Haurchefant fic or in the case of a miracle in which I actually finish it this month (hah!), move forward with the next one I have planned, an Urianger/Moenbryda. That's unlikely but we'll see. I know I still have things to learn about Urianger in Endwalker, which I'm very excited for.

As for what exchange(s) I might do this year, I'm not sure yet! I haven't seen any announcements yet that Chocolate Box is running this year. Black Emporium and FemslashEx are both strong candidates for me. We'll see where I am when those roll around, or maybe something else will catch my eye!

Edited to add: Oh, yeah, also at some point we're supposed to get that final season of Red vs. Blue. I have a few outstanding projects in RvB but the main one that really matters to me is Radio Silence, my Carolina lost years fic. I'd love to use the series' send-off as a kick in the pants to finally finish that one, whenever that happens. We'll see!

Finally, I am making a conscious effort to reclaim my writing time, which traditionally has been the morning between 9 and noon because that's when my mind is the sharpest, but over the past I basically let that slip entirely and be taken over by either housework or gaming, just writing on the fly when something came to me. I'm not morning gaming anymore unless it's for a good reason (timed event I need to catch, etc, which is rare, and finishing yesterday's roulettes is not a good enough reason because the queues are slower in the morning and it just ends up eating more time than it needs to, they happen every day, it's fine).

On to 2024. Looking forward to it.

[the-cryptographer]

Considering trends in the f/f fic I have read and... feel I must say this post is just me spitballing and trying to get my own thoughts in order and not an accusation or condemnation at anyone in specific or at fandom at large. And also quite possibly a reflection of my own cognition and the things I choose to read and focus on.

But I'm thinking over some of the things I've read and I feel like even in a lot of f/f writing you do often get a lot of vibes sometimes that one of the women is meant to be the subject - the character whose emotionality and desires and inner struggles are meant to be empathised with - and one of the women is meant to be the object - the character who is meant to be a fulfillment of those desires whose own internality is greatly reduced and whose conflicting needs and desires are dismissed implicitly or explicitly and regulated to a space where they cannot contradict the needs of the subject. So, yeah, to put it more directly, stories where one of the women is objectified and denied internality in the way that is common in f/m romances aimed at men. And I look at my own f/f fics and I can definitely find fics that fit this trend, and also fics where I explicitly leaned on it for sake of subversion, ie. stories where a major or minor conflict is a woman believing her female partner should make herself a more pleasing and cooperative object, and the partner may at times appear obliging but ultimately refuses.

And I think some of this must just be because, if you are writing a story from the perspective of a singular character with an accompanying inner monologue and point of view, of course the narrative will naturally have more opportunities to delve more explicitly into that character's perspective and desires.

but at the same time, reading f/m fanfics written from the perspective of the female character is often very different. not that I think the female characters in these stories always have the most insightful or realistic or forgiving perspective on the emotional needs of their male partner. just... I'm also struggling to think of much f/m from the perspective of a female character where the emotional needs of the male character - and the female character's ability or inability to fulfill them - wasn't part of the narrative. i'm not even saying this pejoratively, but fandom is obsessed with traumatised men and building romances from the perspective of being the balm to that trauma. And in contrast, I don't feel like most people are into f/f where what is romanticised is how much you are fulfilling another woman's physical and emotional needs - how much you are the correct shape to fill the hole in her tortured heart.

Which... I'm not sure what to call it? Societal misogyny? Queer women not being immune to objectifying other women? But it's also pretty refreshing to read romances every so often where a female character has a more organic and honest understanding of what *she* is getting out of the relationship - what *her* horse in this race is beyond needing to be needed. I mean... I think there's a balance with it? Like... any decent relationship is about some amount of reciprocity in getting everyone's needs met. Just I am feeling like there is an imbalance in how that is portrayed across gender lines that I'm not really sure what to make of.

[mrs-steve-harrington]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @elder-flower <3 Thank you for tagging me! You're awesome and I really enjoyed reading all your answers. I hope that it helped remind you that you ARE a writer (and a good one at that) despite the creative slump at the moment.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

205 (204 are currently visible, one is waiting for an exchange to reveal)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

685,919

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Stranger Things and The Babysitter and hoping to get back into more Free Guy after taking an anonymous comment a little too personally to the effect of no longer being able to write that fandom without shame

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a place where I feel at home (Stranger Things) (34,455 words) Day Four: Green With Envy (Stranger Things) (2,825 words) it's (not) just food (Stranger Things) (3,016 words) didn't mean to be too much (Stranger Things) (3,663 words) Mystery Spot Misunderstanding (Supernatural) (23,850 words)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! For one, I really do appreciate anyone taking the time to let me know they enjoyed my fic, however they choose to express that (keysmashes, emojis, "I liked this", etc all make me smile). For another, I know a lot of people won't comment at all if they see that the comments don't get replies. Alas, I am human and often forget. Recently I've replied to some comments years after they were left. I should do another replies sprint soon...

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably this one: Trust (Free Guy (2021)) (7,755 words) It's a non-con/abusive relationship fic and the end has Keys sort of realizing just how fucked up everything is and realizing he can't even really remember his old friends' faces and yeah. Angsty!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm, I've got quite a few happy endings under my belt despite how difficult they are... Wow this was so hard I had to consult a friend. I have fewer happy endings than originally thought. Going with this one, though! a place where I feel at home (Stranger Things) (34,455 words)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on them, no, which sort of surprises me considering what I've posted the last year or more. But also I'm blocked by like half of the fandom so I imagine I wouldn't see much of it myself anyway

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! One of my goals a few years ago was to get more comfortable writing it and I like to think I've managed that. I've even joined the smut4smut exchange multiple times now! As for what kind, um... Non-con is where I'm most comfortable, so quite a bit of that. But also surprisingly some totally consensual stuff, too. A lot more m/f these days, which is NOT easy when you are squicked by basically all the words for lady parts but I do my best to work around it. There's a sprinkling of m/m in there as well, though less so recently!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do! Not often, although I think of them a lot. It's not really "crazy", but I think it's a little more out there than my other posted one. can hardly feel the cold with you (1,808 words) It's a Stranger Things/Until Dawn crossover featuring Steve/Mike/Jessica because I hardcore ship Steve/Jessica and Jessica and Mike are soulmates so I couldn't leave him out.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I'm pretty sure my fics ended up on that one... Idk was it a Russian site? Some site was stealing a bunch of fics and I think I found some of mine there

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I can remember!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I started on one with @urisarang but never quite got past the first part. I'd still like to continue that fic someday but it's hard?? And I like to think our Free Guy series of fics set in the same universe should count!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

It's really hard to say. All time? I don't think I have one. Maybe a Harry Potter ship or two since that's the only fandom I go back to on a regular basis for reading. To write? I guess it's Stoncy. Feels hard to say for sure because I'm really bummed out about the fandom and season 4 and it's made it harder for me to enjoy writing them. But I still love them.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

More than I could list here. I have so many, I even found one I forgot existed at all the other day. But for this one, I'll say probably the WIP set after Steve and Nancy were stuck in the Entity's Realm (where they are in Dead by Daylight the game). They're home and safe but Steve is isolating himself because he and Nancy were sleeping together while trapped and he "knows" it never meant anything except finding comfort in the familiar so he needs to stay away so Nancy can be with Jonathan and her family. It also features them both having trouble remembering to eat bc eating wasn't necessary while they were trapped in the other universe. I just reread what I've got last night and love it. But I don't think I'll ever figure out how to continue or finish it :(

16. What are your writing strengths?

Introspection. I am most comfortable writing what's going on in someone's head and like to think I'm good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue, plot, action, anything that requires thought and/or effort.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't have an opinion, I guess? I don't write anything where it's come up before.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm, there are a couple that I really like. Favorite right this minute... Caught between two:

anything (anything) for you (Stranger Things (TV 2016)) (5,373 words)

It's a very self-indulgent stoncy fic where Steve is desperate enough to stay with Nancy that when he proposes that she date them both and she thinks he wants to also date Jonathan, he doesn't correct her. I know I wrote it but man, I love the angst of Steve forcing himself into situations he is super uncomfortable with. Dub-conning himself in a way both Nancy and Jonathan would be very upset about if they knew but for totally different reasons than Steve's convinced himself over.

the devil on my shoulder (The Babysitter (Movies - McG)) (2,740 words)

Years ago, I was determined to write as many words as possible for NaNo. I asked ppl on tumblr to send me prompts to write for them so I would have ideas to work from. This fic came from me taking the chance at tagging my plea with The Babysitter and I'm so glad they sent me the prompt because this might be the fic of mine that I have reread the most maybe aside from the one mentioned above. It started out as a fic where Bee encourages Cole to break the rules to manipulate him into being on her side, but it turned into something a little different than that. I don't know how to put it into words but I just really love it. (Too bad there is not much of a fandom out there for those movies haha)

Tagging: @stevethehousewife @urisarang @tkwritesdumbassassins @readythefanons

[voxofthevoid]

Hi Vox! Is me, werewolf anon. How you been? Hopefully feeling better from your sickness?

I took your advice and started reading "The way it follows you home" and so far it's been a fun ride! Past Gojo being jealous of Future Gojo over Future Yuji is adorable lol. Also your "Itadori sensei" seems so much more responsible than Gojo ever was! But I must admit my favorite part was Future Yuji giving the watch to Past Nanami. Even though for this Yuji, Nanami has been dead a thousand years, he still misses him so much. I thought you wrote that wistful nostalgia and pain really beautifully and I'm glad that Past Nanami understood how significant this gesture was. Good job! I'm looking forward to you finishing the rest!

And I usually don't wade into ship discourse because I find it exhausting but I read you've been getting some negativity and I'm so sorry to hear that. I truly don't understand why people want to invest that much time and energy into shitting on other people's likes when they can just focus on what they like. The tags are RIGHT THERE. The back button is RIGHT THERE. It's the reader's responsibility to set their own boundaries. The whole point of AO3 caters to that.

Also I really appreciate how THOROUGHLY you tag. You even expand on the author notes. So these haters literally have no excuse! For example, I tend to stay away Noncon and am selective about dubcon. I'm really grateful the care you put into first warning the readers because then I can make my own choice if I am in a headspace to read it.

And I want to emphasize that I think you should write whatever the hell you want because it's YOUR space. Just like it's MY job to create the online experience I want.

THAT BEING SAID...you are definitely the author I go: "Hmm...I usually don't read fics with this tag but I'll try it because it's Vox." 😂 Like the captured mermaid Bucky fic. Oooh yeah I definitely did a thousand yard stare after to process that one lol! But I love how your fics help me get out of my comfort zone and explore in the safety of fiction. And no surprise, I've loved every single one.

So what I'm trying to say is, you do you. I think there's many readers who are grateful for all your hard work.

Here's a token of my appreciation. It's not much but hopefully it puts a smile on your face. Once again cursing Tumblr for being unable to attach an image file on anon asks! Take care!

https://u.cubeupload.com/Anon9000/Xu1nOV.png

Hello there!

Ahh, I’m glad you’re liking that fic so far! It’s close to the end. Penultimate chapter will go up in a few hours, and the final chapter will be out in Feb, the cosmos willing. Gojou reacting to his own self entertains me endlessly, so I keep writing it. Two versions of that…very loud personality existing at the same time in each other’s vicinity would have one hell of a blast radius, and putting Yuuji squarely in it is one of my favorite things to do in JJK. And I do write Yuuji as a more responsible teacher than Gojou, true! But you can guess that his decency and restraint rarely last.

Not over Nanami’s death yet, huh? Mood though 🍻 It’s great to know that was your favorite scene! And I'm glad the emotional elements came through well.

Stay safely out of ship discourse, my friend. It ain’t worth it. It tends to come find me, but ah well. In JJK, it’s not even ship discourse that keeps haunting me; it’s fucking top–bottom discourse. I haven’t run into anyone pissy about my choice of Le Problematique ships yet (and I sure hope it stays that way). And top/bottom is one of the few things I don’t tag, solely because several instances of hypocrisy in general fandom pissed me off and I’m spiteful on a good day, but it’s also not something that’s hard to figure out. Those familiar with me know I stick to a single dynamic, and others will learn. Otherwise, there’s trusty CTRL+F. That all aside, I’m glad you like my tagging practices! I try to make it so that those who want spoilers/warnings will be able to access them, while those who don’t can hide the additional tags and ignore my drop-down warnings.

I did do a double-take when you said you tend to avoid noncon and then name-dropped the captive mer!Bucky fic—but in a good way! I can’t tell you how wonderful—that’s not a strong enough word, really—it is to know my fics can be that kind of a safe exploration for you. That’s hands-down one of the greatest compliments I’ll ever hear about my stories 💗

And don’t worry, I’ve mostly found very lovely people in fandom. JJK is a little more obnoxious about certain things than I’m used to, but the vast majority of my readers and fellow fans are kind, supportive, and delightful. I’m prone to getting pretty pissed off when assholes pop up in my inbox, but it usually leaves me ten times as determined to keep doing my thing.

I LOVE THAT YUUJI! Holy shit, he’s adorable. I want to pinch his cheeks and also eat him 🥺

I've saved that to my fanart folder for future pick-me-ups. Thank you so much! You’re a sweetheart 💗

[krankittoeleven]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

tagged by @brasideios - Thank you thank you!

How many works do you have on AO3? 16

What is your AO3 word count? 179,340

What fandoms do you write for? Currently Trigun, Jujutsu Kaisen and Assassin's Creed Valhalla

What are your top five fics by kudos? But Like a Refuge (Trigun), Because the Night (Trigun), Sweets for the Sweet (Trigun), Midnattssol (ACV), Water of Life (ACV)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, if I don't then there was a clerical error on my part or something. Comments make me feel great so of course I'm gonna return the vibe.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Gefinn Óðni, maybe. Honestly all my fics currently up have positive or hopeful endings. If I went through my pre AO3 fics I'm sure I could find worse. lol

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Sweets for the Sweet is pure donut eating fluff so probably that. Or But Like A Refugee since someone lives when they would have died in canon.

Do you get hate on fics? Nah

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, mlm mostly, have written all orientations in the past. Got some m/f and m/m/f coming down the pipeline (in theory lol).

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I keep mixing Lovecraft into things, so idk if that counts. I keep pondering a GO/Trigun crossover but IDK. One crossover I started 15 years ago, but never finished (I still have it though!) was Kenren (Saiyuki Gaiden)/Kakashi (Naruto) where Kenren was ex military and Kakashi was an assassin whose inner dialogue comes in the form of his dead fellow assassin-former-lover's voice (that'd be Iruka XD). It is 100% the wackiest thing I ever thought up and I honestly would LOVE to finish it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No but I'd give it a try. Back in the day I did do some writer-artist collabs.

What's your all-time favourite ship? I could not possibly choose one. <- yeah what Jenn said. But I'm gonna go off anyway LOL I cannot separate Kenren/Tenpou, Aziraphale/Crowley and Vash/Wolfwood, they all fell into my lap around the same time in the early 2000s and they all changed my brain chemistry. Even if I never consume a piece of media about them again, they'll live in my head, rent free, for all time. Modern day shout outs, though, to: Eivor/Vili (got me back into writing) Ubba/Vili (kept me writing) and Nanami/Gojo (currently destroying me one molecule at a time).

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? As I said, that crossover up there, that would be awesome but it's probably a pipe dream. I do not want to mention any current WIP of the last couple years because I don't want to jinx anything.

What are your writing strengths? I think I write dialogue and banter well, I get a lot of complements on that and I tend to agree. I think I also nail it on longing and loss just from rl experience lol

What are your writing weaknesses? Not being able to finish but a fraction of what I start. And also sometimes I am just not able to convey things how I really wanted them to be.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I know some people get uppity about sprinkling in foreign language in fic dialogue, but, like, there's good ways and bad ways to do it, and sometimes the original language word has no good equivalent in other languages.

First fandom you wrote for? Saiyuki

Favourite fic you've ever written? Hmmm, well, for better or worse Water of Life is my baby and I love it. lol I have some WIPS though, that I am dying to finish and they might eclipse that love.

Tags with zero pressure to @aeide, @madnessmadness, @softest-punk, @myriath, @akashadarkblade

[aimmyarrowshigh]

1 & 12 for the fic asks!

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

Honestly, my current longfic WIP (Lent From Tomorrow) is easily the best thing I've ever written, fic or original work. But I'm proud of most of my longer-than-a-drabble fics for something or another.

I'm very proud of the Five Places Cinna Came From for actually finishing the whole thing, and same with Milliefic.

(The longer it's been since writing Milliefic, the more I'm like, 'its only real redeeming value is having finished something of that length, especially posting as I wrote,' but that's just me letting Larries spoil my fandom experience, I think.)

I'm proud of every Big Bang or Mini Bang fic I've actually finished and posted. I think Not In The Answer But The Question is currently the best fic on my AO3, probably, although I do think that I had to flub the pacing on the last quarter to meet the deadline. I still to this day think that Valor Valeria and What They Don't Tell You In History hold up, and they're old as heck, so that says something.

I actually really love the Stereo Kicks/H*rry P*tter world crossover that @fille-lioncelle and I wrote? It's paced well, IMO, and I think we took a fairly unique take on that trope by making them all adults and out of school.

I love all of the Since Feeling Is First stories that @nichestars and I wrote, even though it drives the OCD part of my brain a little nuts that we're three words short of an even 100,000 on the series, LOLOLOL.

I don't know that there's any one fic that I'm like "THIS IS MY PERFECT MASTERWERK" about, because I don't do like, extensive rewriting or whatever on fic and I know that I don't quite meet any lofty goals of having Symbolism! or Theme! that I try for with longer stuff, but there are aspects of pretty much everything longer than a drabble that I can take pride in. I try hard to be gentler to myself about the quality of my output than I used to be, because being cruel to myself just made me Not Write At All, and that's the opposite of the point, so.

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

Well, the Fanlore page for the "Timeline of 1D Fandom" says that Milliefic created some of the Larrie Truther tropes, and I've accepted that even though I don't GET it because it's CLEARLY ALL MADE UP OUT OF MY DUMB HEAD, but that would count as causing issues, for sure.

Landslide got (and still gets) inane hate for having M/F sex scenes even though it's M/M endgame. WAYYYYY back in the day, I wrote an Alec/Clary fic before Alec came out as monosexually gay in the Shadowhunter books, and every so often someone reads it without seeing that it was written in like 2010 and they get angry about me making a gay character bi (which would be fair if I'd done it after he came out as gay, but ::shrug::).

I feel like I vaguely recall someone trying to stir up something about my THG fic when The Panem Companion was announced, but they're completely separate works that have nothing to do with each other, so I feel like if there WAS drama about it, I wasn't actually aware of it.

But yeah, Milliefic takes the cake on that one.

[lire-casander]

🎢🍦👀

thank you so much for playing along, my dear!

🎢 which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

oh man i wrote some wild fics back in the day. i started writing fic when i was about 13, so i have my fair share of wild rides.

if we're talking about plot and/or pairing, i'll have to go with anything i wrote for the hanson fandom, when i used to write hancest. yeah, you read that right.

however, my wildest ride story plot-wise would be a drabble that's no longer published (it no longer exists) that i wrote around 15 years ago. in 100 words, i showed a character witnessing a very disturbing scene and enjoying it. it wasn't me saying that that scene was good, or me condoning the fact (i'll tell you about it if you're really interested but it's very disturbing). it was me writing a drabble. that story cost me some friendships, and one of my friends from back then even tried to send me to the psychiatric ward for that fic which was, dare i say, very well tagged thank you very much.

now, if we're talking about a wild ride related to how it made me feel while i was writing it, i have two examples:

#1 - oscuridad y silencio. written in spanish, it's a sttory about domestic abuse that hits way too close home

#2 - from wedding bells to private hells (to fresh new starts and wish you wells). written in english, it's also one of the most personal things i've ever written. like, in forever. you can feel my feelings while i was writing it, i swear.

🍦 what's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

me, writing something sweet? horrified gasp. the nerve! i'm not sure about the sweetest, but one of my fluffiest fics is mousetrap, for the harry potter fandom. it's short, it's sweet, and i think it serves right for this category!

i do have other sweet fics, or better phrased, other sweet scenes in other fandoms. one of my favorites comes from a fic you know well. the raining scene from arashi (malex) is by far one my faves. i love writing rain scenes because they make me feel cozy, even if that doesn't make sense.

there's also a scene in por si acaso no recuerdas mis abrazos (yo te dejo mi canción) (david cook/kyle peek) that's way too sweet even for me. there's a moment inspired by mcfly's "all about you" when david is dancing with kyle's son on the kitchen floor that just melts my heart. btw, if you squint you might find versions of that scene, inspired by that very same song, scattered across all my fandoms. i love that image so much!

👀 tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i've been trying to write a story in a new fandom (which is already dead since the tv show was cancelled like 5 years ago), but it's proving to be very difficult because, somehow, i've managed to convince myself that what i have to say isn't worth saying. hence, i'm suffering from a major writer's block.

it's a m/f story where the main plot is angsty, as one may expect from me. the main pairing broke up in canon seven years ago. nowadays, she is a renowned oncologist coming back to los angeles from boston to attend her mentor's retirement party. he is a renowned neurosurgeon coming back to los angeles from london to attend the very same retirement party. they take the same flight from boston to la, and we can't say that they're excited to share the same space for hours after how they parted ways seven years ago. but apart from having to deal with seeing their ex after so long during a celebratory time, they also have to work together when the venue where the party is being thrown collapses and threatens the lives of everyone they love... including their own.

(i warned you it'd be angsty)

i'm also planning a tarlos christmas fic but that i'm not sure about yet.

ask me anything from this writer emoji meme!

[thetruthbetween]

fic quiz Tagged-ish by @amiwritesthings 😂

Only doing my main AO3 account and not including any side accounts, cuz I don't wanna math rn

How many works do you have on ao3

214

What’s your total ao3 word count?

207,197

What fandoms do you write for?

Uh… all of them?? My fandom list on AO3 has 33 fandoms on it… But the only ones I feel inclined to write for at this very moment are Grimm and SPN

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bite Me (Once Upon a Time) Can't Escape Destiny (Once Upon a Time) All That Is Gold (Once Upon a Time) Truth or Dare (Criminal Minds) Operation Moms (Once Upon a Time)

… Wow, I do not agree with my highest kudoed fics at all 😕 Tho I do find it interesting that they're all femslash ships, even tho I mostly write het

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Mostly no. I like to, because I know how I feel when I comment on a fic and the author replies to it, but I always feel so awkward just being like "thanks, glad you liked it :)" to everything. It's true, but it feels disingenuous, IDK

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Mm, one of the character death fics for sure. Dunno which one tho, I've written them for like half the fandoms I've written for LOL

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The vast majority of my fics have happy endings, how do you pick the happiest of "and they lived happily ever after"? LOL

(Me casually being the worst for these two questions LOL)

Do you get hate on fics?

I have, yeah. I've had people yell at me to stop writing when I post a particular ship (so I recently posted another of that ship and dedicated it to the anon in question), I've had people yell at me that… Mary obviously didn't love Sam, only Dean, in a Dean/Mary/Sam fic… That one confused me, NGL. Surprisingly, I don't think I've gotten hate for incest? Not that I can recall, anyway, at least on my main account

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yessssss I do. Mostly het, some femslash when I end up in a fandom lacking good hetships (mostly OUAT). Some vanilla, some kink, some omegaverse… IDK, I feel like my smut writing is pretty basic, like even the kinky stuff is like… light kink, nothing really super heavy or anything

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not generally, I tend to only hyperfixate on one thing at a time, but I have started writing an SPN fic that is sorta a crossover with various other fandoms, where Gabe makes Mary a pocket realm to bang fictional characters she finds hot (AKA I find hot) (yes, it's crack treated seriously) so there's planned chapters for Twilight (Carlisle and Esme, together) and Criminal Minds (Hotch and Prentiss, not together) and The Conjuring (Ed and Lorraine, together) and since I just got into Grimm, Grimm (Sean) but I haven't actually written any of the crossover parts

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. Reported it but the poster deleted before AO3 could take action (so I've been keeping an eye on the account and have reported it for plagiarism 4 times now, 3 where the person's been caught and the fics been removed). Also had a former friend post something we wrote together without permission from me or credit to me, even tho I wrote literally half of it. I commented that if she didn't add me as an author, I'd report it, so she deleted it and blocked me

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. I've had several people ask, but I'm not comfortable having my fics translated, so I've always said no

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many! I love writing with other people, it's much easier than writing alone. I also end up with way longer fics when I write with someone. My longest fic I've written alone was like 10k, which is only 3k longer than my shortest co-written fic

What’s your all time favorite ship?

That's not how hyperfixation works LMAO But my current favorite ship is Silverprince (Sean/Juliette) from Grimm

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have more wips than I have finished fics, and most of them won't ever be finished. I'd probably say either Can't Escape Destiny or All That is Gold, but I also can't say that I doubt I'll ever finish them, because if/when I get back into OUAT, I fully plan on working on them again

Oh oh! I know one! Not a wip story, but a wip series. My Criminal Minds series, The Self-Discovery of Emile Prentiss, my trans!Prentiss series. I've got another 3 installments planned where Em and Hotch get together but I kiiiiinda don't think I'm ever gonna actually get around to it. Same with my Grimm idea I'm currently working on. I posted one fic in it, but I have some pretty strong doubts that I'll ever get the whole thing finished

What are your writing strengths?

Super super super short but evocative scenes. There's a reason why I write microfic (under 100 words) and that's because I'm good at it

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. All the plot.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fine? I've done it, I've read it, it's whatever. I don't really have an opinion

First fandom you wrote for?

I don't know if it was Star Wars or Star Trek TNG. It was 25+ years ago

Favorite fic you’ve written?

Sleeping Beauty (SPN) It's my only Dead Dove fic, and it is by far the most fucked up thing I've ever written, but I love it SO much. Partly for that reason, partly because it's a different style than I usually write, and partly because some of my fave comments are on that fic LOL When you write something super fucked up and people manage to still enjoy (possibly not the right word LOL) the fic even while hating the subject matter? I mean. C'mon.

[space-blue]

I’ll stop asking in multiples one day. For the fandom list. 1, 5, 10

Ehehe thanks for asking, multiple is fun! From these!

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Since I'm pretty deep in the aroace waters, I generally don't really have OTPs and also don't really give a fuck what people like. I've shipped some really stupid stuff just for fun, and most of the time I can come up with a scenario that makes me "buy" any coupling.

What happens more often is that a pairing in canon will be baffling to me. Fanfic has the time to expend on a relationship, make it earned or believable. Also fanfic can tweak canon, so yeah. I can get behind pretty much any OTP in fandom if it's presented conclusively. I still have like, one Notp (Thrawn x Pryce), but it's not that I don't get it, just that I dislike it enough to block it from my dash and avoid all fics.

THIS BEING SAID. I cannot understand how canon is trying to sell us Cait x Vi. Sorry guys! Please don't take me to the pillory.

Cait is a 1% hyper privileged and a cop. Vi is a victim of a violent and abusive system, who lost her parents to cops lethal violence and also 5 to 10 years of her youth to cop abuse of power. She and Cait are so diametrically opposed, I cannot believe any normal and sane human being in Vi's position would fall for Cait within two days, no matter how cute or nice she is (and she's not very nice for a large part of it, and insanely naive the entire time).

I just feel like their entire "romance" was rushed at the cost of Vi's entire character integrity. I spent hours assimilating she knows, as a child, how downtrodden she is, how broken the system is, how much more suffering is in stock for them, and then boom, she suffers the worst possible fate short of death, and she falls for the first cute cop she meets? Please... Then she rats out her sister to the entire COUNCIL? Who are you and why are you haunting Vi's body?

So yeah, basically set out to write Fathers and Daughters specifically to fix Vi, because she's the lynchpin characters of this show, and she was done crazy disservice to hurry her into an unconfirmed 2 days romance with Cait.

Absolutely no shade here on Caitvi shippers. I'm very happy the main ship of the fandom is F/F, it's a breath of fresh air compared to so many others. Like I said, I'm certain a lot of fics out there actively fix their relationship by addressing my concern, deepening their relationship, stretching canon over more time, etc. I'm sure I could love those fics too. It's what is in canon that leaves me (；⌣̀_⌣́)

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Nah. I'm an old dysfunctional granny. I follow like 5 people and I'm liberal with my block button. If stuff gets heated over some ship I disconnect from that discourse and don't think about it.

Like I said above, I'm not really that concerned with shipping. Even if I read or write it, I tend to focus on platonic dynamics, found family, and if I ship, it's usually centric to one character. Sure I'll read Silco/anyone or Obi-Wan/Anyone.

So fandom would need to ruin Obi-Wan himself (fear), etc. Which I'm happy to report has never happened yet.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Siiiiiiiigh. I'm a Clone Wars fan. Why would you ask me that... I'll have to make a list!! x'D

In all seriousness, most of the Padmé & kiddie politics arcs, droid arcs, Jar Jar arcs (except his epic Windu team up one that was awesome lol)... But the arcs that grate me the most are the flawed ones that have amazing potential but never end up finished.

Umbara?? What happens to Tup???? How do the clones deal with trauma?? How does Anakin feel about his men being put through the grinder with a fallen Jedi? Does it not strain his relationship to Palps?

The Slavery arc. That was so fucked honestly, 14 yo Ahsoka hanging out in a fucking cage in the sun, getting grim promises from her future "owner", a grown ass man with a grudge... Like... There should have been far more repercussions to that. Where is the arc where they heal? Where is the arc where Obi-Wan deals with the after effect of the horrors he witnessed and endured?

Yes, it's a kid's show. But you are showing kids 10+ people being sent falling to their death for kilometers for one man to MAKE A POINT, so some "processing trauma" stuff can't exactly be deemed too dark.

And holy shit let's not forget Deception arc. I love it. Bane/Hardeen my grubby beloveds!! BUT—

WHERE IS THE AFTERMATH!! Obi-Wan CHOSE not to warn Anakin. He played dead, burnt all of his social bridges. It's insane that the show gives them a tiny aborted conversation and that this is never revisited again.

It's also a shame because it's a missed opportunity to spend more time looking at the bridge in confidence between Obi and Anakin. And yes, it's a kid's show. That could be addressed during another exciting mission.

I just feel like the show shies away from its own consequences a lot.

[someone-worth-racing-for]

Hello! :) I have seen this questions the other day and I would like to see your answers to them (see my next messages)

Hey anon! 👋🏼

First of all, I'm so sorry that it took me sooo long to finally answer your questions.

Questions for a writer about their own works - my heart.. 😅❤️ I really think those are great questions. Every writer likes to talk about their own stories and give an insight about all the stuff behind their works - the whole package 😉

I will do the tagging at the beginning, so all of you don't have to go to the end (even tho you still have to scroll to find the questions 😅). Maybe some of you would like to answer those questions as well 🤗

@hurtsprincess @hibwascus @mahixa @redshoulderedblackbirds @chasingpegasus @imme-youareyou @la-rascasse

Anon, I hope you don’t mind, that I have written down your questions and haven't used each of your asks to answer your questions separately 🙈

You can find your questions and my answers to them under the cut 👇🏼

1) Which of your fics you wish had more kudos/comments/bookmarks?

That’s actually an easy question for me to answer – the first one would be And Suddenly All Love Songs Were About You. I know, this one is pretty hard to read - an almost 22k OS I should have definitely subdivided into at least two chapters and the storyline also isn’t always that lovely and “easy” to read. And I don’t know how to describe it, but this fanfiction actually feels so “real” to me, even tho it’s a contradiction in itself to call a fanfiction real, but maybe you know what I mean here 😅 I’m also aware about that it’s actually also not the typical story I usually write/people like to read. It’s not always everything perfect, not a perfect life, not a perfect world, just like in real life. But I still love that story a lot, maybe because it’s not perfect and “so close” to reality.

And the second one would be I Will Always Be There For You Brother (even tho it's not finish yet) I actually have lost count about how many times I have ugly cried, while writing this story. But it were definitely A LOT of times.. It’s an AU, maybe that’s one of the reasons, why it’s one of my favourite stories, but the main reason is still because it’s based on a true story. Actually it’s only one part that has happened in real life, but knowing that this has really happened, still breaks my heart and gives me goose bumps every time.

Yeah, I really wish those two stories would have got more kudos/comments/bookmarks, since I have spent a lot of time, tears and much effort in writing them and both of them mean a lot to me. So it would be really nice, even tho I know these are not the typical "love, peace and harmony" Carlando stories, people like/use to read.

2) Which of your fics do you feel is overrated?

That’s actually another easy question for me to answer – it’s definitely Someone Worth Racing For. Just because I have made so many spelling/grammar/carless mistakes in those chapters, it’s actually incredible! 😅 Besides, it was my first, longer fanfiction for this fandom and back then I really had zero knowledge about F1 at all. Okay, to stay fear – nowadays I only have about 1% more knowledge than back then, but still. But not only that, I have still known so less about Lando and especially about Carlos and their lives. For example, I haven’t known about Carlos Onoro (Carlos’ cousin) being called “Caco”, why I always had much trouble to build him into the story, since I always had to make sure that people will know which Carlos I actually mean at the moment 🙈 I also haven’t known about that Carlos actually also has an older sister, not only a younger one and that he had a place in Woking at that time and so on. One day I really, really have to correct/re-work that story.. 😬

3) What is the fic that took you the most time to write?

Well, if you mean based on time here, then I would say all of my unfinished multi-chapter stories, especially Becoming a Man, since I have still planned so many more chapters for that story. So I guess this will be the story that took me the longest to write/to finish one day. If you mean here which story was the hardest for me to write and it felt like it took myself a half eternity to finally finish it, then it’s definitely Babylove.

As much as I have liked that story first, as less I like it today. I actually had a lot of fun writing the first chapter, especially collecting all those facts about Lando’s and Carlos’ career before F1. But I have already struggled a lot to write the second chapter - please, don’t ask me why, because when I have finally jumped over my own shadow and set down to keep on writing it, it has actually always worked, but it was until I finally did so, that gave me so much trouble and worries. But more to that story later by question 6..

4) What do you think is the best fic you ever wrote (until today)?

That’s actually funny, because even tho it’s the same story that I think is the most overrated fic of mine, I also think at the same time, that it's my best one so far 😅🙈 Someone Worth Racing For. Because of the before, by question 2 already mentioned reasons, I have never understood why this story of mine is actually so “popular” until I have started to (re-)read all Carlando stories on AO3 again last year and I realized that this story of mine had been one of the first longer, multi-chapter stories for this couple back then. Also because I have been able to deliver weekly updates, that’s why I guess this is the best story I have written so far, based on all the hits/kudos/comments I have received for it.

5) What do you think is the worst fic you ever wrote (until today)?

Mhm.. Even tho I think they also aren’t that bad, I would say Together, Carlos vs Lando’s PC and/or chain beast. I don’t know, just since I haven’t spent that much time writing these stories and they actually also don’t mean much to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

6) What is the saddest thing that happened to you related to a fic (may it be success, a draft that erased itself and so on…)?

Now we come back to Babylove.. It all started, when I have said that I will make a little break over summer and people were concerned about that I won’t continue Babylove. That I won’t post the final chapter (even tho I have actually never said so, only that I will take a little break, however). I haven’t counted them, but I think I had at least 10 anonymous asks about when I will finally post the last chapter. And because people obviously really seemed to be interested in that story, I finally jumped over my own shadow once again, because the third chapter was really, really hard for me to write. Probably the most difficult one since I’m writing. God, I was so happy and relieved when I have finally made it and when I could upload it. But what did really, really hurt after was that until today no one has left a real comment under the last chapter on AO3. I know I have got a few reviews here on Tumblr, but after all those asks and messages, I have really thought that people would leave at least a few comments. I don’t know – maybe it was all the time just one anon asking the same question about the final update over and over again or maybe it were more people, but they were probably all not satisfied/disappointed with the end of the story. I don’t know, but it’s really sad to see under all those people who have at least clicked on my story for the final chapter (I don’t know if they have all read it, but I guess at least some have), no one has said anything about it, at least not on AO3. The “relationship” between the story and me was never the best, but after that, I actually really have enough of this story and don’t want to think back about it anymore, about how much I have struggled with it and all that for nothing. (I know it’s not like that, but it still kind of feels like it.) So yeah, that’s actually the saddest thing that has happened to me related to a fic so far. But I have also learned my lesson to not get up my hope anymore, only because people ask about a certain story/update..

7) What is/are the comment(s) you received that you can never forget even now (negative and positive)?

There are many comments I hopefully won’t ever forget, especially on my first Carlando stories, but the reviews I sure won’t ever forget are the ones coming from a certain person (you know who you are). Without you I wouldn’t write stories anymore, or at least I wouldn’t publish them anymore. But I can also call myself lucky, because I have never really received any negative comments or even hate for my stories.

8) A fic you’d dream to write even if you know it wouldn’t get much readers/feedback?

There is this is one I always daydream about, especially when I’m going for a walk alone. The one I actually can’t even give a name 😅 You know, I’m a big fan of our Austrian Alps, I just love those landscapes. When I have been a kid, my favourite TV show has been Heidi 😅, since then I have those daydreams about the Alps and everything that comes with them – the forests, the animals, the adventures, the mysteries. That’s why I also really enjoyed a lot to write Stop Time. So that daydream-story would take place in the Austrian Alps and it would play in another universe. I know that fic wouldn’t get me many readers nor feedback, because most don’t know about that magic of the Alps I’m talking about here. They probably wouldn’t get the vibes and so the story probably wouldn’t be able to touch them. At least not as much as it always touches me whenver I think about it.

9) Coming back to the last question, did the fact that a fic wouldn’t get many readers (rare ship/different dynamic and so on) already stopped you from writing it?

No. And since Babylove, I can tell that I even prefer it that way. I mean, to expect not much or even any kudos/comments at all, so I can’t get disappointed. Best I could get surprised, if anyway, if someone would leave some feedback. But that fic I’m daydreaming about would take too much time and effort for me to write, so it will probably stay in my head forever. Except I will have so much time one day, which I really doubt. But who knows.. 🤷🏼‍♀️😅

10) Which of your fics represent you the best?

That question was actually not so easy to answer.. But I would say Taking Care Of You, since I see myself (especially when I have been younger) as Lando in that story. Someone who needs someone else to show them their way, who is there for them and takes care of them. Makes themfeel safe and exactly knows what they need. In real life, I can be pretty shy and insecure sometimes and even though I maybe don’t seem like that, I still sometimes wish there would be someone stronger next to me when I can’t be, someone I can lean my head against their shoulder when I have a weak moment. Yeah, I think that fic represents me the best.

11) What is your main source of ideas?

My main source of ideas? Woha – there are actually many! First of all – real life situations “live events”, because the muppets themselves are giving us/me enough content to write books about them. But also fanart like in Modern Romeo And Juliet, music like Tell Me What You Want To Hear (One Republik) or Talking to the Moon (Bruno Mars), movies like by Who Needs A Wingman, When You Have Uno And Pinon (101 Dalmatian) or just simple labels on shirts, when I’m shopping like it had been by And Suddenly All Love Songs Were About You. But of course I also get inspired a lot by other fanfictions I read, not always Carlando related. Also some I have already read a lifetime ago and of course also requests.

12) Is there an author that inspired you?

There are actually A LOT – here in this fandom, in my past fandoms but also “real” authors (don’t get me wrong, I think we are all real authors, I just meant here authors who don’t write fanfictions), but I won’t name any of them here now, since I have learned my lesson and don’t want to make anyone feel sad or left out ever again.

13) Is there a fic you wish people to read, because it left a big impression on you?

The same as above. But if you want to check out my favourite Carlando stories from 2019 and 2020 – just follow the link

14) What is your favorite topic to read? And to write?

It’s actually the same for me (I mean to write and to read) – I’m a sucker for slow burns and I also love happy endings. I like mild angst, alternative universe, crossovers, soulmates, fix-it fics, fluff, hurt-comfort, ABO fics, sick fics. I also love, enjoy to read and of course also to write stories with a deeper meaning, ones that are more extensive and meaningful.

15) What motivated you to make your works public?

The first fanfiction I have ever written was back then in 2016. I did write and later also published it, because I have got very inspired by a great fic, which plot I have really loved and enjoyed to read a lot, until a certain point, when everything suddenly became too “dark” for me. I didn’t feel happy/satisfied with the end, so I wrote my own version of that plot, with the ending I had hoped the original story would actually have/I had daydreamed about (but of course giving full credit to the storyline to the other author!). Actually, I have just noticed that the first story I have written/published was for a giveaway contest and not the other one 😅 But I for me the first real story I have written is the one based on the storyline of another author.

But if you want to know what has motivated me to write stories for the F1 fandom, well – there has been once again two reasons. My very first story About Date Nights And Babysitting I have actually written for a friend as a surprise. But my first Carlando story I have written Tomorrow Will Be Kinder had been after the first race I have ever watched, Spa 2019. And since that time of the year is always an emotional one for me and I think everyone remembers what has happened on that race weekend, I just needed to write down my emotions to somehow feel better and be able to deal with it.

16) A word you’d like to say to people who pass by / who follow you / who read your fics?

I would actually like to take that chance and even tho I have already talked about this so often, I still want to remember people/readers that we are doing this all here for free, writing stories. And I really don’t only mean myself, I mean every wonderful writer out there. Like I have already said, we are all doing this for free, in our free time, spending hours and hours with writing, putting so much love and effort into every single sentence, but it really breaks my heart, when I have read a great, emotional and so well-written story on AO3 and I see there is not one single feedback under the last paragraph.

Of course, I don’t want to force anyone to anything, that you have to leave under every fic you read a comment, I also don’t do that myself, but please always remember how much work it had been and how proud the write actually is about their work, about their “baby” and think about how happy you could make a person with leaving a little note for them.

It really means to world to us writers. Of course, every feedback is appreciated and even tho it’s great to hear that someone has liked the story, it still feels like a firework exploring, when someone tells you more about how beautiful your “baby” is. I’m aware about that many don’t know what to say, but also asking the author questions about the story is some kind of feedback as well – showing interest.

Leaving a comment is not far as exhausting, it doesn’t take so much effort and even less time than writing a story, believe me. And after reading something that has really touched you and you can assume that the writer has given their best, please just stop for a few moments and leave a comment. You really can’t imagine what that means to a writer and what that causes inside them. We are actually living from feedback, because it’s how we get “paid”.

It just really hurts me to see so less feedback under certain, amazing fanfics, especially under works of my friends, I exactly know they have put so much time, effort and sometimes even tears into it.

Or when a writer posts here on Tumblr the word count of their stories from this year so far on a handwritten sheet and the only comment they get is about how beautiful their handwriting is. Seriously, best I have wanted to jump through the internet and shake those commenter’s shoulders, because that was definitely NOT what the writer has been trying to say/show here. Again, our works are our babies and we are proud of them and want to show them to the entire world.

I know many writers feel the same way like I do about the lack of feedback lately and I also know that many feel uncomfortable, maybe even ashamed or also stupid for talking/”asking” about it and “complaining”, but I don’t care, because I’m sure that most of the readers don’t understand what feedback means to us, because they just can’t understand it. That’s why I want to explain it and make them understand us, because they aren't even aware about it. Maybe I do sound whiny, but I really don't care. I’m speaking for so many, not only for myself. And especially for new authors. I’m already used to it, I write fanfictions since years, but I feel sad for all of the new ones, who get insecure about their works and maybe stop it already again after their first try, because no one has left any feedback at all, no matter if it were praises for their story or tips. Feedback is important for us to grow, so it’s of course also okay when you enlighten writers about any mistakes they might have made as long as you stay respectful and kind and maybe even find at least one thing they have done good in your eyes.

Again, just don’t be afraid about leaving comments, because the biggest "mistake" you can make is actually not leaving any feedback at all.

Just remember that after you have read another story, which had touched you and you have really enjoyed to read. It only takes a few moments to make someone happy and isn’t that worth it in the end? 😊

Okay, but still something I also want to say especially to the people who read my stories/follow me – I really appreciate every single one of you, every word you have ever left under my stories, ever kudos, every hit and every bookmark. I’m really glad that I can make people happy through my stories. I have actually never thought so, when I have written my first story already such a long time ago. It’s really a pleasure for me to write for you and make you feel good/better. Writing is my own therapy, my opportunity to flee from the real word, at least for some moments every day and create a world according to my ideas, imaginations and dreams and it’s really a pleasure for me to let you be part of it. I hope you guys can enjoy it as much as I do and that the whole work is worth it.

Thank you so much. Every single one of you, thank you to the moon and back 🤗❤️🙏🏼