#para: it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

[exhaslo]

Kinktober Day 31- Ghost face!Miguel x Shy!Reader

*Requested by the many fans of tumblr. Happy Halloween!*

        Everyone had warned you about moving to Nueva York. The amount of dangerous people in that city were overwhelming. You were going to be eaten alive as your friends and family warned. You thought of yourself better and wanted to prove to them that you could survive. The shy and quiet you, who barely had to courage to say no. It was something you always struggled with, but you hoped that this new job would help you with it.

        You were hired at Alchemax as a lab assistant. You tried to fit in, but everyone was so self centered that you ended up being a loner. Everyone except one person. Miguel O'Hara. He had extended the hand of friendship to you, wanting to make you feel more comfortable around the place. You instantly fell for him. He was so kind to you and understanding. You had just wished that everyone was like him. You had wished you had the courage to ask him out.

"(Y/N), are you okay?" Miguel asked as he tried to grab your attention. You flinched out of your daydream,

"Y-Yeah, sorry. I've been...tired lately."

"I've noticed that you've been taking on other people's work. You need to learn to say no," Miguel told you before typing away on his computer. You could only nod,

"I...know...I've also had trouble sleeping...N-News of that...Ghostface going around killing people has me spooked." Miguel glanced you way, handing you a bottle of water, "T-Thanks."

"You'll be okay, tomorrow's Halloween, that's the last day he goes out. Just stay home, okay?" You let out a small whimper, hesitating. "You are staying home, right?" Miguel asked, stopping his work. Tears almost fell from your eyes,

"I-I got...I was told to join some of the others...a-at a small...work...party," Miguel saw you shaking, "I-I...I couldn't say no..."

"Sí, ¿qué voy a hacer contigo? Mi pobre muñeca inocente. (Aye, what am I to do with you? My poor innocent doll.)" Miguel whispered, knowing that you knew nothing of Spanish. He took you hand, calming you down, "Don't worry, you'll be okay."

        You looked into Miguel's eyes, smiling softly as you calmed down. After wiping your tears away, you thanked him quietly before hurrying off to go back to work. Miguel watched you scurry off. He growled lowly as he walked to his trash. That invitation was in there somewhere. Your coworkers didn't care about you to invite you to some Halloween party. They had other plans, and now Miguel did too. Finding the paper, Miguel's eyes shined brighter than normal.

"Tendré que matar a todos y hacerme el héroe, sólo para ti, mi preciosa querida. (I'll just have to kill everyone and play the hero, just for you my precious darling)"

-------------

        You stood in the corner of the small party, watching all of your coworkers enjoying themselves. You glanced down at your costume, wondering if it was too weird. Everyone else was dressed up in slutty and revealing outfits and here you were, with the costume you thought looked the cutest. You sighed sadly, wondering why you were even here. No one was talking to you. You were just there. Another sigh escaped your lips as you made your way to the upstairs bathroom.

        As you washed up, you heard faint screaming. You gasped and shut the light off, your heart beating faster. Loud thumps echoed from the staircase, causing you to whimper. Tears rolled down your cheeks as the loud thumping stopped right in front of the bathroom door. You hurried into the tub, holding yourself as you shook. This was not how you wanted to die. You cried as the door slammed open,

"BOO!"

"KYAAA!" You screamed, covering your ears. You heard loud laughter and raised your head to your coworkers,

"Ah man! Did you get that on video!?" One of them yelled.

        You stormed out of the bathroom, sobbing past everyone as they laughed at you. You made your way to the backyard since the front entrance was blocked off. You sat on the steps, crying your eyes out. They only invited you to make fun of you since you were so scared of Ghostface. You were just a quiet coworker, what did you do to deserve this? Upon hearing another scream, you whimpered in response. Were they trying to scare you again?

"I'll just stay here for a bit. They have to unblock the door soon," You whispered.

----------

        Miguel had watched the whole thing. His anger had reached a new boiling point. Fixing his mask, Miguel's grip on his knife tighten as he made his way inside. He was the one who blocked the door. Standing in the corner, Miguel watched you ran outside crying. Perfect. He was going to start with the stragglers downstairs. It was a big house and not too many people. The job needed to get new employees anyway. These guys were just dead weight.

        Miguel approached each person a little louder than he wanted. He was so fueled with anger that he couldn't focus. He just wanted everyone to pay for what they did. After his first kill, Miguel inhaled deeply. The smell of metallic blood filling his nostrils. He was not going to get now. He had taken out his anger during this month. It was the only time he could. Slowly making his way over to his next victim, Miguel resisted a chuckle as he thought of you.

        You were going to be his perfect little wife. Miguel was going to make sure you stay in the dark about his secret. He just wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you protected and loved. When you first arrived at Alchemax, Miguel thought he saw an angel. A shy little angel who entered his life just for him. Miguel had hunted every single asshole who dared tried to flirt with you, or even scared you. Miguel was going to be your dark protector.

"AHHHHHH!" 

        There it was. The first scream of the night and not from a scare, but because of the dead bodies that laid under Miguel. Smiling through the mask, Miguel watched the girl run to warn the others. Ah yes, that was the start. Miguel inhaled deeply, getting enjoyment from true horror. He was going to enjoy his last few kills of the night. It was going to be another year until Miguel could kill again.

----------

        After calming down, you decided to leave. You rubbed your eyes once more before entering the house. It was quiet aside from the sound of thumping from upstairs. They were probably enjoying themselves. Honestly, you were mad at your cruel coworkers. You stopped at the front door, seeing that it was still blocked. Why were they doing this to you? The couch was far too heavy for you to move on your own. Looking for another way out, you gasped as you stepped in something.

"My shoe," You whimpered, looking at the red puddle.

        Following the puddle, you gasped sharply as you saw one of you coworkers dead. Your heart started to race again as screams came from upstairs. You hurried to the kitchen, wondering if there was a door there and froze as another dead body laid before you. This was bad. Ghostface was here and he was killing everyone. Tears began to roll down your cheeks again as you hurried to find somewhere to escape. Maybe there was a gate in the backyard?

"Please! Don't kill me!" One of your coworkers screamed as another ran down the stairs,

"(Y/N)?! You're still here?!" He yelled and gasped as Ghostface started to walk down the stairs, "Fuck it, I ain't dying here!"

        You yelped as your coworker grabbed you harshly and threw you in front of the staircase. You eyes widen as you nearly froze in fear as Ghostface stood directly before you. You couldn't move. His knife was stained with blood. You shook and closed your eyes, crying as you waited for the worst.

"No! Stay back!"

        You shuddered a gasp as you heard Ghostface leave to your coworker first. Quickly, you found a closet and hid in there until it was safe. You were frighten and scared. Covering your ears, you tried to stay quiet as you waited. Waited for Ghostface to leave.

"(Y/N)? Are you here?" That voice. You knew it all too well.

"M-Miguel! R-Run!" You cried out.

----------

        Miguel whispered some cusses towards your coworkers as he stabbed him. Now that everyone was dead, it was time for you. He knew that you ran to the living room, but where were you hiding? He stopped to clean his knife in the kitchen sink, washing all the blood off. Once that was done, he attached the knife to his thigh strap under his pants. He then took his mask off, putting it inside one of his cloak pockets that was big enough.

"(Y/N)? Are you here?" He called out, wanting to bring you out of hiding.

"M-Miguel! R-Run!" Those cries weren't meant for you.

"It's okay, I'm here now. I saw Ghostface head upstairs, quickly close your eyes and come out. I'll get you out of here."

        You were such a good girl for him. You crawled out of the closet with your eyes closed, your breathing still heavy. Miguel just smiled towards your shaken form, knowing that you were going to be in his arms in a second. With ease, he picked you up, holding you close. He could feel your heart beat. You were sobbing and holding onto him for dear life. You had no reason to cry now. Miguel was going to take care of you.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," Miguel whispered as he stroked your head. You just cried into his shoulder,

"M-Miguel, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"You have nothing to apologize for. I'll take good care of you,"

"T-They're all dead. I-I thought...I was next...Miguel...I love you. I love you. I'm sorry, I'm a scaredy cat and shy and nervous...I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner," You kept babbling, crying your heart out since you thought you were going to die.

"Dios mío, no me esperaba esto. Voy a follarte bien esta noche para que te olvides de todo esto. (My god, I wasn't expecting this. I'm going to fuck you go good tonight that you're going to forget all about this.)" He groaned lowly.

"M-Miguel?"

"It's okay, (Y/n), I love you too. I'll take good care of you."

-----------

        You sniffled as you stepped out of Miguel's shower, rubbing your arms as you wore some of his spare clothes. Miguel was kind enough to take you to his home, wanting to comfort you for the night. You were nervous as you stepped into his living room. It was quiet. Miguel was taking a shower in his other bathroom. Who would have thought that Miguel was rich? You explored his place, still surprised by the turn of events.

        You ended up in the kitchen, noticing a knife in the sink. It looked so much like the knife Ghostface had. Shaking the thought out of your head, you made your way back to the living room. You wanted to forget about what happened tonight. You tried to at least. You knew you were going to have trouble sleeping again. Tomorrow was going to be harsher because everyone was going to be asking about the others. Asking why you were the only one left alive.

"W-What if they think I killed them?" You stuttered at the thought. Miguel approached you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist,

"Then they would be fools," He kissed the back of your neck.

        You shuddered at the affection Miguel gave you. Turning around, you pulled him into a tight hug. Miguel chuckled as he picked you up and carried you to his bedroom. Your cheeks burned up as he placed you on his bed. Miguel stroked your cheek, calming you down again. His smile instantly making you fold for him.

"Do you trust me?" Miguel asked you as he slowly climbed over you. You just nodded, "Good, there's something you need to know,"

        You whimpered as Miguel kissed your neck. His hands stroked your sides under the shirt you wore. He let out a low groan since you looked so good in his clothes. You let out a breathless moan as he cupped you breasts. Miguel was going to wait until you were completely in his grasp before telling you. After all, you couldn't say no. You were going to be his good girl forever.

"M-Miguel?" You whined softly as he took your shirt off, squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipples. 

"You're not going back to work," Miguel whispered as he started to grind his bulge against your cunt, "You're going to stay here. Make it look like you died with the others."

"W-What?!" You asked, but flung your head back as Miguel sucked on your breasts.

        You moaned softly as Miguel spread you legs, allowing him to rut into you rougher. You felt yourself getting wetter. The boxers he let you wear were too thin and easy for him to grind against. You tried to ask him what he meant, but you were being overwhelmed with pleasure. Miguel's hands were now resting against the boxers, rubbing your clit against the fabric. You body leaned into his touch, desperate for more. His tongue swirled around your nipple, making his way back up to your neck.

"You're going to stay here, baby." He whispered again, his fingers dipping under the boxers and circling your clit, "My beautiful angel. I can't let anyone have you. I can't let anyone harm you. You were always mine."

"Mhm~ M-Miguel~"

"(Y/N), don't be afraid of me. I will never harm you." Miguel watched as you bit you lower lip, moving your hips with his hand, "Así es. Déjame convertirte en la esposa perfecta. Déjame manchar tu hermosa inocencia. (That's right. Let me fuck you into the perfect wife. Let me taint your beautiful innocence." He groaned lowly.

        You whimpered a moan as you felt a knot tighten inside you. Miguel moved his fingers faster against your clit, causing that knot to tighten. You tried to rub your legs together, but Miguel kept them spread. He sucked against your neck, groaning as you cam from just him playing with your clit. His fingers dipped lower, two digits entering your tight, soaked cunt. You moaned again, your cunt squeezing his fingers as he pumped inside you.

"Ah, my sweet innocent little angel. Watching you break because of me is so delicious." Miguel groaned as you squirmed and moved your hips to his touch, "You're going to stay here. I'll make sure no one will ever hurt you again, understood?"

"Y-Yes! Yes!" You cried out as his fingers feverishly fucked your tight gummy walls.

        You whined as Miguel raised your legs over his shoulders. Your pussy clenched his fingers as he started to curl against your sweet spot. You flung your head back as he started to wiggle his fingers inside you. His thumb rubbed against your clit again, bringing you over to the edge. Miguel wasn't making any sense, but his words were making you wetter. Honestly, with how tonight went, you wouldn't mind being stuck in Miguel's home forever. He was your protector.

"M-MIG-" You screamed out as you reached another orgasm. Miguel pulled his fingers out, licking them,

"You even taste sweet," He hummed, holding his erection towards your twitching folds, "You have no idea the amount of men I had to get rid of to make sure you stayed innocent, just for me. Seré tu primero en todo... y tu último. (I will be your first for everything...and your last.)" He groaned.

        You whimpered as you felt Miguel's dick stretch you out painfully. His cock was so thick and long. Your pussy was convulsing around him, sucking him in while drool rolled down your lips. He was making you feel so full. You wanted to question him on what he meant by getting rid of people, but you started to get drunk off his cock. Another whimper escaped your lips as Miguel groaned, fitting his whole length inside you. You swore that he was pressing against your cervix, but you weren't sure. This was a first for you.

"Un ajuste perfecto. Fuiste hecho para mí, cariño. Voy a grabar la forma de mi polla en tu memoria. (A perfect fit. You were made for me, darling. I'm going to fuck the shape of my dick into your memory.)" He groaned, slowly pulling out of you, "Killing all those people made this worth it."

"H-Huh?"

        You moaned loudly as Miguel thrusted his dick back inside you, hitting your cervix with each thrust. You cried out as Miguel started to bully your cunt, causing you to turn into putty under him. You could barely feel your legs as the slapping sounds between you grew louder. His dick forming a perfect space inside your pussy. You trembled as you started to reach another orgasm, unable to take the pleasure that he was filling you with.

"Look at you, so fucked out on my cock. How does it feel to get fucked by Ghostface, baby? Does my dick feel that good?" Miguel moaned as you tighten around him, "Yes, it does, doesn't it. Why else would you be squeezing me this tight?"

"H-Hah~ Ah~ Y-You're....ah~ mhpm...G-Ghost...f-face?" You whimpered lowly. Miguel fasten his pace, enjoying the white ring that formed around his dick,

"Yes. I'm the scary Ghostface that killed those asshole coworkers of ours," He chuckled, stopping to fill you with his seed, "I told you that you'd be okay. I will never, ever hurt you. Only love you."

        You wanted to be scared. You truly did, but both your brain and your heart were only thinking about Miguel's dick pounding you still. His hot semen filling your womb as he kept fucking you dumb. You body twitched from overstimulation as Miguel started to rub your clit again. He leaned down to kiss you, biting you lower lip as you moaned for him. His grip tighten against your hips, rutting into you furiously. He wanted to make sure you knew that you were his.

"Awe? Tired already? I think I need to show you how many people I've killed for you. Here's the second victim." Miguel groaned as he cummed inside you again. 

"Mhm~" You muffled lowly, growing exhausted. Miguel chuckled as he pulled you to his lap,

"Tienes razón cariño. Vas a ser la esposa de Ghostface. Siempre puedo mostrarte mi amor en cualquier momento. (You're right darling. You're going to be Ghostface's wife. I can always show you my love anytime.)

----------

        When you woke up, Miguel was by your side with water, vitamins and breakfast. He had bathed you and put on a fresh pair of clothes. You recalled his confession from last night and grew slightly nervous. Miguel, the man you longed for, was the murderous Ghostface. He killed your coworkers and faked your death. You now belonged to Miguel. You wanted to be scared, but Miguel had proved to you that he was never going to hurt you.

        Maybe it was your blind faith or actually being fucked dumb, but you willingly agreed to stay with Miguel. You stayed in his place as his house wife, greeting him with love everyday. Miguel rewarded your love with his brutal sex, reminding you that you belonged to him. By next Halloween, Miguel returned to his Ghostface persona, needing to release some steam. You became his accomplish, making sure that he returned home safe and sound.

"How was my good girl tonight?" Miguel hummed as he slapped his dick into your soaked pussy. You whined into the bedsheets,

"D-Distracted t-the...ah~ police...s-sending em...mhm~ opposite side of...of....ah~ t-town~!" You cried out. Miguel groaned happily, harshly shoving his dick deeper into you to fill,

"That's my perfect angel. Well done."

"T-Thank you!" You moaned against him, shaking from the pleasure. Miguel hummed happily as he kept thrusting inside you,

"I think you deserve a reward. Why don't we try making a little Ghostface jr?"

"Yes! Yes!"

        Your vision blurred as you moved in rhythm to Miguel's thrusts. Your mind started to fill with lust as you became tainted by Miguel. You were just as bad as him now, but you didn't care anymore. As long as Miguel was there to love you and protect you, you were okay. You moaned loudly as you cam against his dick, burying your head into the pillow again. You were happy with you life now. You were going to protect and live with Miguel forever.

Forever as Ghostface's wife.

[spidybaby]

Begin Again | Part Four

Summary: It's all about the hating, the loving and the healing... but in that order?

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: It's been a long time, but here it is. Love you all for being so patient and sweet with all the messages and anons asking me if I was okay and sending me love while I was sick 😭❤️ sorry if I didn’t answer, I wasn't that much on my phone but I'm thankful for all the messages and love you send me 😣💛

Dedicated to: @gaviandgrizisgirl because she motivate me to write and post this as quickly as possible. Luv you 💛✨️ (btw go read her work, is amazing, you'll love it 😀❤️)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

17:45 p.m.

"Déjame ayudarte con eso, " Elena says. As she picks up the straightener, she is as nervous as you are. "Estoy tan emocionada, yo te ayudarme a planear la boda. Ahhhh!" (Let me help you with that. I'm so excited, I'm helping you plan the wedding)

You smile at her, your words are out due to being nervous. You feel like throwing up but weren't.

You made a small talk about something she was promoting while she was straightening the last piece of hair. That was cut off by the baby monitor announcing that your baby was done with cocomelon.

"Ya, ya, ya voy, mi amor." (I'm coming, love)

You finish with the hair as your son begin crying for attention.

"Ay ya mijo, no te puedes entretener solo? Andamos ocupadas." Elena says, picking him. He stops crying, looking at her with a confused expression. "Ya ves? Todo bien. Hoy tenemos pijamada, usted se duerme en el lado izquierdo y yo el derecho." (Omg baby, can't you entertain yourself? We're busy. You see? Everything's fine. Today, we have a slumber party, you'll sleep on the left side and I'll sleep on the right one)

You laugh at her. She's so special to him.

"Vente, solo me haré algo natural de maquillaje." You say picking your products, barely any, some concealer, powder, blush, waterproof mascara (that's essential). (Come here, I'll just do some light makeup)

18:50 p.m.

"Bueno, ya quedó. Dejo todo ahí en la cocina y me voy corriendo antes que llegue." Fernando says, throwing some used napkins. He prepared some pasta, your favorite actually, and he helped Pedro pick some nice outfit for the night. (Okay, it's done. I'll leave everything in the kitchen, and I'm out before she arrives)

Pedro hugged his brother, thanking him for the help. He was nervous, and Fer knew it.

"Tranquilo chaval. Todo irá bien" Fer palms his back and walk to the door. "Pedro, me llamas mañana a primera hora para contarme como te fue, si?" (Relax, everything is going to be fine. Pedro, call me first thing in the morning and tell me everything.)

Pedro nods, nervous at the time, and at everything.

"Por cierto," he says. Before the door closes. Pedro looks confused at him, waiting for him to speak. "Te deje unos condones en el nochero." He winks and laughs, noticing his brother blushing like crazy. "Te quiero niño, adiós." (By the way, I left some condoms on your nightstand. Love you, kiddo, bye)

18:59 p.m.

"Bien, me voy," you say as you spray some perfume, his favorite as you recall. You were done with the feeding and ready to leave. "Adiós amorcito, mami te va a extrañar mucho." You kiss him several times on both cheeks. "Si te da problemas, en serio llámame, aun que no creo que despierte, si lo hace hay leche que recien me saqué en la nevera, solo calientala y dale eso." (Okay, I'm leaving. Goodbye, my love, mommy's going to miss you so much. If he gives you problems, please call me, even tho I don't think he wakes up. If he does, there's fresh pumped milk in the refrigerator. Just warm it up and feed him)

"Ay ya largate." Elena says, pushing you to the door. "Te deje unos condones en la bolsa, la de la izquiera, no quiero otra sorpresita" (Omg, just go. I put some condoms on your purse, left bag. I dont want another surprise)

"Qué?" You look at her confused.

"Shh, adiós mami." She says, making Polo wave his hand.

You shake your head, smiling at her.

But when you open your door, the one surprised is you.

"Mamá? " You open your eyes all the way, you didn't invite her, you didn't call her. Why was she there? "Qué haces acá?" (What are you doing here?)

"Nena, que guapa. Te traje una carbonara, tu favorita de tu restaurante favorito en Barcelona. Sé que la última vez que nos vimos no te portaste tan bien conmigo pero, hijos. Ya entenderas cuando Polito crezca." She says, pushing you to enter. (Baby, how pretty. I brought you some pasta carbonara, your favorite from your favorite restaurant in Barcelona. Even tho the last time we saw each other, you weren't so nice, but you know, kids. You'll get it when Polito grows up)

You scuff. You weren't nice? What about her? Saying how Pedro was going to take your son away. How you were going to go back crying to them for help.

"Mamá, voy de salida. Gracias por traer la pasta. Elena se la puede comer o te la puedes llevar." You say grabbing her by the arms just in time. She was about to grab Polo from Elena's arms. (Mom, I'm actually on my way out. Thanks for the pasta. Maybe Elena can eat it, or you can take it back)

You grabbed the pasta from her, leaving it on the little table beside the door.

"Pero si vas de salida, entonces déjame cuidar a mi nieto, nadie mejor que una mamá para cuidar de los bebés de su bebé." She tries to enter one more time. "Y/n, quítate." (But if you're on your way out, I can take care of my grand baby. Nobody like mommy to take care of her baby's baby. Y/n, get out of the way.)

"No."

"No?" She scuffs "acaso te volviste loca? Que te pasa? Tu no eres así, nunca me habías hablado así" she looks at you with this hurt expression, one you usually fell for, but not this time. (Are you out of your mind? What's wrong with you? You're not like that. You never spoke to me like that)

You grabbed your doorknob as you take some steps, making her step back. "Mamá, voy de salida y Elena va a cuidar a Polo, voy tarde. Adiós." (Mom, I'm on my way out, Elena is taking care of Polo. I'm already late, goodbye)

You kissed her cheek and walked to your car. You turned it on. She was still standing on the same place.

You picked up your phone, texting Elena to not let her in, no matter what.

You notice the time. Already 19:10

"Me cago en la." You say as you drive off your house.

19:16 p.m.

"Mierda" Pedro says, looking at his phone, you were not someone who was late to almost anything.

He calmed himself, thinking maybe is the traffic, maybe she went for gas, maybe she's nervous and driving slowly. Maybe there was some roadwork and she had to take another street.

His mind began to overthink against him. And just in time, the doorbell saves him from his own mind.

He runs to the front door and takes a look of himself in the mirror he has there. "Bien, como dijo Fer, todo estará bien," he say to himself. The walk to the door is a quick one. He takes a few breaths before opening. (Okay, like Fer said, everything is going to be fine)

When he opened the door, nothing prepared him for the view. Even though you didn't change much, there was something different. You looked more beautiful. The way your hair is done looks stunning. The way your smile is shining is like no other.

Not to say your body, you were slimmer than the last time, more here, less there but the same one he loves.

"Dios, estas preciosa," he says without thinking. "Perdón, hola." He shakes his head as you laugh. "Hola va primero, pasa por favor." (Gosh, you look beautiful. Sorry, hi. Hi, is it first)

"Hola, Pepi." You say walking inside. "Tu también te vez muy bien." You laugh. (You look amazing, too)

"Venga, vamos adentro." He closed the door. (C'mon, let's go inside)

He doesn't know if his actions are some muscle memory or if his brain is not coordinating the best. But when he extended his arm for you to take his hand like he used to, at first he didn't notice, but after a few seconds and your hesitation. He slowly pulled back.

But, before he could, and for his surprise, you did take his hand.

"Vamos." You say smiling at him. (Let's go)

The smile on his face is the biggest he ever had since the last time you were together.

That was something everyone noticed. His smile wasn't the same, his was always so into his mind.

"Tienes hambre? Fer me ayudo a preparar tu comida favorita." He says, guiding you to the kitchen. (Are you hungry? Fer helped me cook your favorite food)

You nod smiling, knowing how good that must taste.

Fernando was one of the best chefs you have ever known. He even opened his own restaurant. It was amazing, and he was so successful.

"Mucha. De hecho." You begin talking, but stop when you realize what you were about to say. (Yes, actually...)

Normally, your way of talking was mom on if someone asked you, "You hungry?" You would say,"Yes, breastfeeding makes me hungry." Which is what was about to happen.

"De hecho qué?" He asks, serving the pasta.

"De hecho, tu sabes, yo siempre tengo hambre." You laugh, hoping that was good enough. (Actually, you know, I'm always hungry)

He laughs, nodding "cuándo volviste?" He says, grabbing both plates. "Acá o en el comedor?" He asks you. (When did you come back? Here or at the table?)

"Acá esta bien, déjame ayudarte con eso." You say taking two cups and serving some water. (Here it's okay, let me help you with that)

He places the plates down, picks some forks and napkins.

"Queres vino? Tengo uno buenisimo que te va a encantar, o prefieres algún cóctel? Sé hacer unos ufff, Robert me enseñó." (Do you want some wine? I have a really good one, you'll love it. Or do you prefer a cocktail? I know how to make some, ufff, Robert taught me)

Normally, you used to drink wine or a cocktail when you had dinner dates or when you were around him watching a movie or spending time together.

But the feeding was something that had you at cero alcohol. You pretend to get a text just to Google if one glass was okay. Maybe not? You didn't think about that.

"Amm, déjame responder esto rápido, perdón, el trabajo." You say nervously. He nodded, not taking too much care. (Let me answer this quickly. Sorry, it's from work)

A quick Google search taught you that you could, but had to pump and throw that milk away because that's where the alcohol would be.

"Perdón, deja lo pongo en no molestar." You say, now more relaxed. "Un poco de vino no matará a nadie." You joke, making him laugh. (Sorry, let me put it on. Don't disturb. A little wine never killed nobody)

Once you both sit down and begin eating, you notice how different he is. The beard was more prominent, more styled, too. He has this more prominent dark bag under his eyes. This guy never rests.

"Me gusta tu barba, esta más estilizada y te sienta mucho más." You say honestly, "pero sabes, debes dormir más, qué son esas ojeras Pedro? Te pasas jugando hasta tarde de nuevo?" (I like your beard. It's more stylish and it fits you so well. But you know, you need to sleep more. What are those bags under your eyes? Are you playing video games till the morning again?)

He rolls his eyes. "Ay mamá, pero primero me halagas y luego me matas, venga que deja que el vino haga efecto preciosa." (But you first compliment me and then trash talk me, at least let the wine get into my system baby.)

You both laugh.

And it feels good. Being like this again. Being so close and able to joke without worrying.

The jokes continue. You both know you have a talk, but you want to enjoy the beginning of the night first.

"Déjame ayudarte." You take both plates and take them to the sink and wash them. (Let me help you)

He looks at the way you're washing the dishes, even when it's a completely normal thing to do. You doing it for the first time in so long was something he couldn't believe.

"Pedro," you say, noticing how lost he is. "Estas bien?" (Are you okay?)

"Si si si, quieres ir a la sala? Ahí estaremos más cómodos." He's nervous, and so are you. (Do you want to go to the living room? We will be more comfortable there)

You nod, walking to the living room.

Your heart is beating faster.

Your hands are sweating.

Or was that the water you didn't dry?

Guess you can blame the water.

"Yo quiero"

"Necesito decir"

You both talk, laugh at how coordinated that was.

"Vamos preciosa, comienza tu." (C'mon baby, you go)

You opened your mouth, but nothing was coming out.

Even when you practice how you were going to say the things you want to say. Nothing.

"Okay, entonces voy yo." He laughs, trying to make you feel less nervous. You nodded. "Bien, no es fácil poner todo en palabras y perdón si la cago, créeme que estoy jodidamente nervioso y siento que el puto corazón me va a salir del pecho. Y, la verdad no sé ni por qué empecé diciendo esto, creo que, ammm, Okay." (Okay, so my turn. It's not easy to put everything into words, and I'm sorry if I fucked up, believe me I'm fucking nervous and I feel like my fucking heart is going to burst out of my chest. And to be honest, I don't know why I'm saying that. I think that, ammm, okay)

He pauses, breathing deeply.

"Perdón," he says, looking at you. "Por haberte dejado tan de la nada. Se que fui una mierda contigo y créeme que no fue como lo planeé. Yo en serio no quería lastimarte." (Sorry, for leaving you so out of nowhere. I know I was a piece of shit with you, and believe me, it was not how I planned it. I didn't mean to hurt you)

"Y por qué lo hiciste?" You ask, eyes never leaving his. (So, why did you?)

"Porqué fui un cobarde, porqué no puse tus sentimientos o los míos primero, porqué dejé que otros dictarán nuestro futuro y me arrepiento tanto. Si tuviera una maquina del tiempo regresaría a esa noche y cambiaría todo." (because I was a coward, because I didn't put your feelings and mine first, I let others dictate our future, and I regret that. If I had the chance, I would go back in time and change everything)

"A qué te refieres con qué dejaste que otros dictaran nuestro futuro?" No te entiendo. (What do you mean you let others dictate our future? I don't get it.)

"Es a lo único a lo que le prestaste atención?" He asks, trying to change the subject. (It's the only thing you paid attention to?)

"Pedro," you say with that tone he knows, that mom tone when you won't take his bullshit for an answer.

"Venga que al menos dime que me perdonas." He tries again, failing. (C'mon, at least tell me you forgive me)

"Pedro, responde mi pregunta." You say downing your tone a little bit more.

He shakes his head. He didn't want to tell you about that conversation with your father, but another lie is not the best way to go now.

"Mira, tú padre y yo hablamos. Y él estaba tan seguro que tú me dejarías y yo solo quería la jodida bendición. Por qué no me dijo si y luego me odio en secreto? Joder, preciosa lo siento tanto, yo no debí escucharle pero sus palabras se sintieron como putas puñaladas y tu no querías irte a Portofino. Y tu ibas a decir que no. Tenías un futuro tan brillante delante de ti y yo solo era un jugador de fútbol. (Look, your father and I had a talk. He was so sure you'll leave and I was just looking for the fucking blessing, why couldn't he just smile and hate me in secret? Fuck, baby I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have, but his words hit me like fucking daggers, and you did wanted to go to Portofino, and you were going to say no. You had a bright future ahead, and I was just a football player. Your dad was right)

"Pedro, espera."

You didn't get that much because of how fast he was talking, but enough for you to understand.

"Mi papá te dijo qué?" You ask. (My dad told you what?)

You weren't going to imply that he was lying, but you needed to know if what you heard was right.

"Tu padre y yo." He tries, but you interrupted him.

"Mi papá te dijo qué?" You repeat getting up from the couch.

"Preciosa, por favor sientate." He tries to grab your arms, wanting to calm you down.

"No, Pedro." You back away. "Dime que me estás mintiendo." You can feel the tears. "Pedro, por favor." (Tell me you're lying.)

He cursed mentally at himself. He didn't want to lose you again.

"Y/n, por favor. Déjame explicarte." He's up now, eyes asking for permission to touch you.

"Es solo que. Si él te dijo eso. Entonces todo lo que me dijo a mi fueron mentiras." You say shocked. "Todo este tiempo él me dijo que eras un imbecil por haberme lastimado. Como nos miraba juntos y como estaba con el corazón roto por no vernos juntos en el futuro." You were in a shock moment. "Entonces, todo eso. Todo lo que hice. Todo fue por sus mentiras?" (is just, if he told you that. Then, all the words he told me were just lies. All this time, he told me you were an asshole for hurting me. How he saw us together and how heartbroken he was by us not getting a future together. Then all of that. All I did was. It was because of his lies?)

You tried to take deep breaths.

All the times he let you cry on his shoulder. All the words. All for nothing.

And then he, let you be alone your whole pregnancy, give birth without Pedro.

"Preciosa. Respira por favor." Pedro says, his hands on yours trying to help you breathe. (Baby, breathe, please.)

You shake your head no, you weren't mad at him but at your father.

You free your hands and grab your purse. You needed an explanation. And you were getting one.

"Es que me va a escuchar." You storm out of the house, Pedro calling your name and trying to get you before leaving. "No," you say as he grabs your arm.

"No te voy a dejar ir así." He closed the door back again. "Por favor, vamos a calmarnos."

"Es que no lo entiendes. No sabes lo que hice y ahora más que nunca sé que me vas a odiar por haberlo hecho. Pero no puedo quedarme así." You say, freeing your arm and quickly opening the door. (You don't get it. You don't know what I did. And know I know you'll hate me it. But I can't just let this go)

"Joder, que no te vas a ir." He says, taking your keys. "Mira, no sé que hiciste pero yo jamas te voy a odiar. Por favor, Y/n vamos adentro y hablamos. Cuando te calmes te puedes ir." (Fuck, you're not leaving. Look, I don't know what you did, but I'll never hate you. Please, let's go inside and talk. When you're calmer, you can leave)

"Ven conmigo entonces." You say, grabbing his arm and pushing him to the drivers side. "Te prometo explicarte todo." (Come with me then. I promise I'll explain everything)

He wasn't sure, but he knew how stubborn you're and how you weren't getting back inside.

"Ve por las llaves y cierra la puerta de la casa." He sighs. (Go get the keys and close the door)

While he enters the car, you run back inside and search for the keys where you know he always left them.

Grabbing them and running back outside he has the car on and ready.

"Te recuerdas donde queda la casa de mis padres?" You say grabbing your phone. Texting you father to know if he was home. (Do you remember where my parents' house is?)

"Estas segura?" He asks, really not sure about this whole plan you just thought. "Mira, podemos manejar un rato y así nos calmamos." (Are you sure? Look, we can drive for a while, and we can calm down)

"Pedro, por favor. Hazme caso a mi esta vez." You say as you get a message back saying he was home. (Pedro, please. Listen to me this time)

He didn’t say more.

The drive was quick, something he didn't appreciate.

When he parked outside, you quickly took your seat belt off, running to the door. Thankfully, you still had the key.

"Papá." You scream. "Papá."

You went to his office, he was always there.

"Y/n? Que haces acá?" Your mom says once she sees you. (What are you doing here?)

"Tú sabías?" You ask, angry. "Mamá, tú sabías que Papá le dijo a Pedro que me dejará para yo irme a Italia?" (Did you know? You knew dad told Pedro to break up with me so I could go to Italy)

Your mom stayed quiet.

"Lo sabías" you say. (You knew)

"Calmate, todo tiene explicación." She says, getting closer. (Calm down, everything has an explanation)

"No te me acerques." You say in a tone of voice you didn't even recognize. (Stay away from me)

"Qué carajos esta pasando en esta casa?" You dad says as he approaches both of you. "Y/n mi amor por que gritas?" (What the hell is going on in this house? Y/n, baby, why are you yelling?)

You had to calm yourself. You wanted to slap him. Hurt him. But no, he was your father. And as much as you want to you won't.

"Explicame algo." You say. "Por qué me dijiste que estabas tan triste por mi ruptura con Pedro cuando tú." You say putting your finger on him. "Tú le pediste que me dejara, cuando tú le dijiste que no era suficiente para mí?" (Explain something to me, why did you say you were so sad for my break up with Pedro when you ask him to leave me? You told him he wasn't enough for me)

"No sé de lo que hablas." He says, pushing your hand away. "Estas bien? Te miro alterada, quieres un té?" (I don't know what you're talking about, are you okay? I see you're upset. Do you want some tea?)

"No te atrevas," you say, backing off a little. "Ya sé todo, al menos se hombre para admitirlo." (Don't you dare. I know everything. Be man enough to admit it)

"No me hables así, para empezar." He says, elevating his tone of voice. "Y si lo hice, qué? Yo quería más para ti, no un tipo que se gana la vida pegandole al balón." (Don't talk to me that way. If I did, what about it? I wanted more for you. Not just some dude that makes his bag from kicking a ball)

"Y qué?" You scuff "estas loco? Ustedes dos me manipularon para que yo pensara que Pedro estaba detrás de todo esto, que ya no me amaba. Y para qué? Por sus estúpidos estandares?" (What about it? Are you out of your mind? You two manipulate me into thinking Pedro was behind all of this. You make me believe he didn't love me and for what? For your stupid standars?)

"No son solo estándares, piensa las cosas niña, en serio esperabas que dejáramos que jodieras tu vida? Pagamos cantidades absurdas para que fueras a la mejor universidad solo para que fueras la esposa de un futbolista." He fake laughs. (They're not only standars, think this through kid, were you expect us to let you fucked up your life like that? Paying stupid amounts for you to go to the best college just to settle down to be a footballer wife?)

"Era mi vida," you scream. "mi vida, y ustedes no tenian por que quitarmela." (It was my life, my life. And you don't get to take that away from me.)

"Y/n por favor, cálmate, dejanos explicarte." She tries to hold you, but you push her away. (Y/n, please, calm down, let us explain everything to you)

"No lo entiendes." You say. "No entiendes nada, mamá." (You don't get it. You don't get it, mom)

"Claro que si. Amor por favor."

"No me toques" you yell at her. "Me dais asco." (Don't touch me. You both disgust me)

"Ya basta! Deja el drama." Your dad says as if is nothing. (Oh, stop it. Stop the drama)

You laugh, shaking your head. They don't get it.

"No es drama, papá." You say as the words come out with venom. "Ustedes me manipularon para pensar que todo fue distinto. Mierda, me la pase sola." You cry. (It's not drama, dad. You both manipulated me into thinking everything was different. Shit, you let me be alone)

"No estuviste sola, estábamos contigo. Paulo, Elena, tu papi y yo." You mom says.

"No, no es a lo que me refiero. Me dejaron estar sola nueve meses. Y tú." You point at your mom. "Me convenciste de no decirle nada, de que sola estaba mejor. Y yo te creí, porque pensé que él ya no me quería." You were crying badly at this point. (No, that's not what I meant. You both let me be alone for nine months. And you. You convinced me into not saying anything because I was better alone. And I believed you because I thought he didn't love me anymore)

You clean your tears. They weren't worth it. They don't even care.

"Por ustedes Pedro no conoce a nuestro hijo." You say sadly. "Por ustedes se perdió tantas cosas de nuestro hijo." (Because of you, Pedro doesn't know our child. Because of you, he missed so many things of our child)

"Nuestro qué?" (Our what?)

You feel how the air is stuck in your throat.

You turn around. Here he is, keys in one hand, purse in the other.

"Pedro."

Tag list:

@alwaysclassyeagle @footballerficsposts @gulphulp @cinderellawithashoe @jajajhaahaha @bellinghambby22 @pablogavisgirl @lunamelona @christinabae @103009 @pedrileclerc @pampeop @magicalfundragon @helanahaadock @eau-rougee

[thankyouforthev3n0m]

Aye, it's DubDaddy on the track

Not a rapper, but I thought I'd have a crack

Another song, another bar, another stack

We keep coming back now we're picking up the slack

Get laid, get paid, gatorade

Trigger treats sweet but can't beat the blade

It's Halloween bitch it's time to get made

You better lock up or you're gonna get slayed

Aye the boys are comin in

Got lit last night on the cherry gin

Smokin gas, eating ass, now committing sin

We going large like Amy Schumer's second chin

Hey everybody my name is JoshDub

When I don't do crime I talk shit at the club

I like corona no lime and having a tug

I get my bread no crust cause you know I'm a thug

It's Halloween, my girl cook and clean

Doing flips in the sheets, call that trick and treat

In the back of a Bentley and we got on rings

Riding in the streets shouting scary things

The Boys in town and we hunting clowns

Couple Kings with a couple crowns (dank memes)

Scaring kids while we're blowing clouds

It's Mully in the back and your bitch is getting ploughed

It's spooky and cold on this dreadful night

But we got some beauties in our sight

We love the shadows, and fear the light

But we'll steal your girl with one quick bite

On Halloween you can hear many sounds

Some screaming, some crying in the background

But if I see some kind of creepy clown

Oh you better believe it's going down

All the witches they be on me, with glee

When I walk up in a room its a party

Got no reflection but there's one thing you can see

All competition running scared as they should be

Never giving out our secrets I'm like (hush hush)

Wiping away all the haters like a (brush brush)

We be stealing all your candy in a (rush rush)

Dropping songs and videos that always (crush crush)

Got these demons in my head overwhelming me with fear and dread

(Dread dread dread)

Screaming in my bed, keep me grinding till I'm dead

(Dead dead dead)

Spirits in my mind come to visit me from time to time

(Time time time)

People say I'm sick but I swear to God I'm fine

(I'm fine, I'm fine)

Trick or Treat, excuse me what the fuck is this?

Candy corn, Bit O Honey, one Hershey Kiss

Que no sabes que me dicen el Mexorcist

If you don't know who I am, then I'll tell you what it is

Got a blanket to protect me and a wooden cross

I sprinkle holy water to show demons who's boss

I make videos to scare all the kiddos

And I'll exorcise your Tia with a bag of hot Cheetos

I shook Freddy Kruger's hand

Grow harder than the grudge

Make Pennywise float too

And give Huggy Wuggy a hug

I got good at hide and seek

You can always ask the fed

I put poison in your goat

Now that chupacabras dead

I live in the States, born in Monterey

Got a gringa by my side

She can cook some frijoles

I cross the border and la migra said

'hey, come on down but you just can't stay'

Running and hiding and walking and fighting

You don't got the papers to even be trying

To say it was easy then I would be lying

Soy un inmigrante con gran corazón

empeze recojiendo la bazura de tu escalon

Y ahora ocupo la pantallo de tu abitación

Asta parece yo tomo gasolina.

Te incendió con mi rap eso es pura adrenalina

Mi tierra la extraño nunca olvidare mi casa

Un saludo para todos mis latinos y mi raza

Now give me the Reeses cup bitch

Yada yada yada yada, something bout a square

New meme Juice Box bout to go Blair

Like the Witch, that's the sitch

Halloween night bout to wake up in a ditch.

And I'm stacking up dinero

Got this young man feeling like George Romero

Pick the bone clean always saw it in the tarots

Dig a little deeper boy you almost skipped the marrow

I don't really know

I don't really know

Yada yada

Yada yada

My goldfish took a little holiday

Left me feeling sour like that Minute Maid

One day he said he want to go to outer space

So I made a little rocket outta Gatorade bottles

Catch your grandma at the Walmart

And she gonna catch the fade

I don't really give a fuck

Im just tryna get paid

I'll smoke your grandad too

If he even looks my way

I'll kick your little sister

In her motherfucking face

That's that shit you learn in Florida

When you smoking K2

Hold that shit up in my chest

Boy I'm bout to turn blue

Im might mosey down to Target

Man and buy me that canoe

@jadest0ne

[istalauuu]

Ola, everyone!! It’s me, Crista! So for today’s blog, I'll introduce myself, where I came from, and how my life actually went.

I am Angelie Crista, but I prefer to be called Crista, especially by my closest friends. In contrast, people that I don’t know just call me by my surname, which is Brita. I hated to be called Angelie because I just don’t like it, and I find it cringe and a little bit weird. But lately, my mom told me the reason why she named me that, and I found out that it is a female French name that means "Messenger of God". like wow?!?!?! At first, I wouldn't believe her, and she even made me search for it on Google. BUT GIRL, IT IS. (sarcastically crying). Going back, I am 19 and currently residing in Brgy. Nena San Julian, but I grew up in Paranaque City, Metro Manila. Let’s get to know it, and here’s the history of my hometown..

PARANAQUE CITY

Is a highly-urbanized city was once just a simple fishing barangay during the Pre-Spanish days of the Philippines.

When Miguel Lopez de Legazpi and his group of Spanish colonizers landed in Manila, it is said that they discovered a small community who lived near the Manila Bay where fishing or “paglalayag” were their only source of income. But on the other side of the community called Muntinlupa, the natives, who were living on rice farming, were called “taga-Palayan”. These two groups of people intermingled with each other, often on little celebrations.

It was said that once upon a time, these two groups had a feast to decide what the name of their place would be. The rice farmers wanted to name the place “Palalayan”, but the fishermen protested and wanted the place to be named “Palalayag”. In order to reach a conclusion, both parties agreed to a compromise and instead decided to name the place “Palanyag”.

Several years later during the Spanish era, the placed was renamed “Para Aniya Ake” because of several instances where Spanish soldiers would tell the native coachman “Para aqui, para aqui (Stop here, stop here)” whenever they reached Palanyag. These native coachmen would tell their humorous versions of this story until the name stuck in the hearts and minds of the inhabitants of old Paranaque.

Paranaque City is also known as the fashion capital of Metro Manila and is home to the largest fashion boutiques and shops.

Just so you know, guys, my life there is quite adventurous and fun. Serving me the things I wanted and making it easier for me to do the things I needed. Spoiling myself almost every day by going to the malls or even with friends. That’s why my money only lasts for a few minutes. Yes, I am too irresponsible when it comes to handling money.

But for some reason, that life I had vanished when my parents decided to let me study here in our province, which is located in Brgy. Nena San Julian, Eastern Samar. So, moving forward, as a girl who grew up in a city, I am having a hard time, especially since I am new to this place. I find it difficult here since there are big differences between the place where I grew up and the place I am today.

But since this is the new chapter that God gave me and a life that I needed to take, I don’t have a choice but to accept and love where I am today. I made adjustments, and it’s not easy to do. The transportation here is so hard. It’s like I am more tired of the transportation than of my classes. Also, the grocery stores are too far, and it’s quite tiring. The things I used to do were gone, and I came to a point where I badly wanted to graduate immediately so I could go back to Manila. Sounds ridiculous, right?

But after staying here for a month, a realization hit me. I should’ve been enjoying my life here and being content. I should let things flow and love every single moment that I have here. And, so, little by little, I didn’t notice that I'd been falling in love with nature and appreciating its beauty more than before. The fresh wind that blows within my hair, the calmness it gives, and the silence of every corner of the trees.. oh! I'm in love with this nature, which captured my heart softly. Too dramatic, am I?

But anyway, what I also love about this place are the beaches. The waves that slowly moving, making a little sound. Bringing my soul into peace and letting my inner self to be healed.

Finally, I can say that I am doing great today and am hoping for the next day to come. I will probably end my blog here, and I hope you like and enjoyed it. Again, I am Crista, and I hope to see you on my next blog! Bye, everyone, and have a great day ahead!

Source:

[adeehayag]

too far / a self para (pt. 3)

triggers: murder, death

July 22, 2023 (almost midnight)

Why is it that when Maya died -- I'm really not sorry about it -- but it was my birthday the next day and I went to Medusa to celebrate that, I had people look at me strangely for doing that, but bodies have been dropping left and right recently, and if you're not in a celebratory mood tonight at this engagement party, you're in the wrong?

People suck, I thought, as I made my way to the open bar. And everyone here will pay.

My brain grew tired of planning after Toby, and I figured it just wasn't for me. That was more Jake's area of expertise anyway and besides, it's so much more fun to just wing it because not only will the future dead person be surprised, so will I! A fun, little surprise for me, like a treat.

I want to have a lot of treats tonight, I thought as I took a sip from my drink. The only plan I have for tonight that's set in stone is that I'll convince people I'm well on the way to being drunk as the night goes on, when I'll be anything but, to make people think that I could never be responsible for any of the murders that will be happening tonight.

I had a list of people I want to kill: Jieun and her friends but Jieun specifically for being a fake bitch, Lucia for grieving like she was Dante's girlfriend when, news flash, she wasn't and never will be, that overdramatic, overtalkative bitch, Dominic for making fun of me because I couldn't drive like he's sooooooo special for not making use of public transportation, Analu for breaking up with me all those years ago and still, to this day, never really giving me a reason why, Greyson for not choosing me, Kat solely because it's something I've been dreaming of for a long time now and of course, Sarah and Charlotte, solely for being Jake's sisters.

I didn't need a reason, but I still got them. I'll be sure to let them know why I wanted them dead before I slit their throat.

Everyone's soooooooo cute for thinking I'll stay the sniveling, crying, weak person I used to be that let Kat slap me without fighting back. They'll never expect that that person is dead, buried alongside the rest of the people I stabbed.

The person I am now is just one of the many things I'm so thankful to Jake for.

However, as excited as the thought of having multiple treats tonight made me, I still had to keep up the pretense that I was the woman who had lost everything. In a sense, that was still true. But why dwell on the thoughts of the people who are already dead when I could just think about the people I could still kill?

I wasn't in a celebratory mood, that's for sure. I love love, always have, and I always want to celebrate it, but isn't it clear to everybody that Mei doesn't actually love Levi? It's actually kind of funny to see everyone put on a smile and pretend to be happy, because I'd been doing the same thing for a long time. A long, long time now, it seems.

It also didn't really sit right with me that Mei doesn't seem to be as happy as she could be, when she was getting exactly what I used to wish on every star and every 11:11 for -- a rich, devoted husband, though I could do without the whole religion talk, and a child. A family. A future that's set and stable and secured. She'd never want for anything and she doesn't even seem all that grateful for it.

Maybe I could still have all of that with Jake once Kat's out of the picture.

I kept ordering drinks, kept pretending to drink them, kept walking around pretending to be drunk and that I needed to go to the bathroom or outside to get some fresh air, but I was mostly looking for any opportunity to get people on their own.

Maybe I should have come here with a better plan, I started to think because it seemed like I wouldn't be able to do as much killing as I wanted to, just as the red and blue lights filtered in through the windows. I didn't have to fake my confusion as I wondered what was going on, and the shock evident on my face was genuine when the Chief of Police told the entire ballroom of Lucia's death.

Damn it, Jake. She should have been mine, I couldn't help thinking, though I had to stamp down my laughter as I listened to the murmurs around me. Bye, bitch. Down in the dirt you go, where you belong.

Other than the initial shock and glee that she was dead, though, I found that there was also disappointment. I talked a big game about killing people tonight and I actually hadn't done anything yet. I didn't know Jake was going to kill tonight, and if he could do it even with all these people around, even with a date, even with his siblings at this party, then I most definitely can too. I just need to figure out how to actually do it, and the fact that everyone's now locked inside the hotel room just made everything so much harder.

People wouldn't dare pass up the opportunity to think of me as a weak person, I had come to realize. It's easier for them to think of me as that and I know now that I could use that to my advantage. That, and the fact that everyone thought I was drunk tonight meant that they wouldn't really think twice about me running to the bathroom, especially when I say I'm about to throw up.

I took a special interest when I saw that Levi was going upstairs to his room, instead of going back to the ballroom where Mei was, and my curiosity got the better of me as I followed him up to his room. Just like Toby, I wondered if he was really as nice as he seemed. He was selfish, that was for sure. He wanted to celebrate while people were dying around him.

Maybe the world would be a better place without him too. He hadn't been on my list but I can add him onto it right now, I thought as I checked to see the knife in my purse, the same one I used on Rhys all those months ago. Usually, selfish people were at least smart people, but Levi didn't seem to be one of them, because he didn't even consider having security at this event. An event with his pregnant fiancée, mind you.

I just waltzed in here, in my sparkly dress, a knife that could definitely implicate me for Rhys' murder, hidden in my equally sparkly purse, and nobody knew about it. Sure, I could always say that I have it to defend myself in case a situation arises, but I also didn't want to be labeled a suspect, like Toby had been. All because of a video that didn't even make that much sense to me.

I could turn on the waterworks, though, and I know people would stop thinking that I'd have anything to do with these murders. People never want to see a woman cry, especially one who looked like me and who had publicly lost so much. They'll never believe it.

Suckers.

I laughed as Levi asked me what I was doing, before I took out the knife. What did he think I was doing? Just taking a casual stroll into his hotel room with a knife out for what? A conversation? Wow, he really was stupid.

And then he had the audacity to ask me if I had been the one to hurt Lucia, and I rolled my eyes as I kicked the door closed behind me so that it was just him and me in this room. I deserve a little privacy with the man of the evening, do I not?

No. That wasn't me. I wish it had been me, though. I would have loved to see her die, I told him with a smile. Don't worry, I said, opting for a soothing tone. It's my turn now.

There it is. There's the wonderful panic in their eyes, and it made me grin wider as I looked up at him, the anticipation on my end and the fear and tension on his end palpable before I dropped my smile and lunged forward, only smiling again once I felt the sweet feeling of blood on my hands.

This is what I should have been doing the whole night, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man who would not stop talking about his beautiful wife to be, about what a blessing a child is, about how blessed he was. What a load of fucking bullshit, I thought as I let out a laugh when I took the knife out. I want to see every emotion on his face, I want to see the moment when he realizes there's absolutely nothing he can do. That he's at the mercy of someone who's friends with his future wife, who even slept at Mei's apartment for a couple of nights.

Mei deserves this, I thought as I stabbed Levi in the chest, a cackle escaping past my lips. An ungrateful woman and a selfish man. Wow, maybe they really are meant to be together.

Too bad he's going to die. No prayer to his god could save him now.

Where's your God now? I asked him before I started laughing and laughing, overcome with the glee that came from the look on his face. I was still careful, though. Even though I pushed him on the bed to make stabbing him easier and escape harder, I was making sure none of his God-loving blood would end up on my pretty cute dress. I could still use this dress in the future, but some of his blood splattered on my purse.

Letting out a loud groan, I continued stabbing him until I was satisfied, sighing with relief once I let the blood drip down to the floor from my knife.

Now that I started, I wasn't going to stop any time soon. I wanted more of this feeling. I wanted to kill. I wanted people to suffer.

I made sure everything was in their rightful place when I got out of the room, making sure it was locked behind me, but my eyes widened when I realized I wasn't alone in the hallway, and I quickly turned around

A part of me wondered if I could get away with it somehow, just keep walking away from this person I met at Medusa since I had my back to her anyway, but then Iris started talking. Hey skank, you obviously know he’s engaged, do better.

And just like that, the smile was back on my face, and the knife was back in my hand.

This bitch.

What the fuck did you just call me? Huh? I asked, eyes glinting with a mixture of fury and glee. I thought I was satisfied with killing Levi, but I wasn't. Not even remotely close to being satisfied because I was already ready to kill again, and I was also so happy with how quickly the next person I'm going to kill was presented to me.

Maybe Levi was onto something with believing in God or whoever, because I wished for more death, and it immediately came to me, wrapped up in the form of a bitch in a tacky dress. A whole coward too, I thought, letting out a laugh as I watched her try to run down the stairs.

I love it when they run. It makes it so much more satisfying when they realize they have absolutely nowhere else to go.

You're going to look so pretty when you bleed out, I said when I caught up to her, just in time to sink my knife into her stomach. That was for calling me a skank. This one is just for fun, I said before I stabbed her again. The anger caused by her words made me to stab her over and over again, after I took my time going down the stairs she had just fallen from. She was unconscious, probably from hitting her head, but I didn't really care. It didn't stop me from stabbing her still.

Serves you right, you fucking bitch. You deserve this, I said, always hating it when people tried to paint liking sex as a bad thing. Calling women skanks was bad enough but it was a million times worse when it came from a fellow woman, especially someone who doesn't even belong here in town. Wasn't she new? What right does she have to comment on things that don't even concern her?

You're fucking nobody and you'll die a fucking nobody, I spat out, about to stab her in the chest when I heard footsteps, causing me to narrow my eyes. I'll come back for her as soon as the coast is clear.

She's not going anywhere.

July 22, 2023 (a few minutes after midnight)

I messed up. I messed up. I messed up.

Iris had survived, according to the police officer, and she knew who I was. I couldn't even get to her now that she was on the way to the hospital.

Fucking Mei. Ruining my plans with that 911 call, causing the hallway and the stairs to be overrun with cops and medics.

I had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. This was it. This was the end of the line for me.

Good.

The one word that snuck into my thoughts was jarring, shocking even me, but I think a part of me was relieved. I already knew I wasn't the same and I'd never go back to the person I used to be, and I had already thought of myself as someone with absolutely nothing and no one to lose, but this truly cemented it.

One way or another, I was going to leave this place either dead or found out. I preferred the former.

I'm going to have my fun first, though.

It was getting harder and harder to pretend to be drunk, but with the news of Levi's death and two additional injuries, nobody really paid me much attention as I tried looking for Kat.

I will not die or be arrested tonight without killing her first. After everything she put me through, she deserves to die. I'll deal with everyone else on my list later.

I lied through my teeth and said that I had a room somewhere so that I could get out of that stuffy ballroom, I ended up roaming around the halls, searching for Kat. What I found was Vera, though.

Eh, close enough.

Vera didn't like me solely because of Kat and for someone who consistently screamed that she was a strong, independent woman, she really needed to start thinking for herself.

Oh, you bitch, I thought when she bumped her shoulder against mine. I would have probably minded my business and passed up on her on my search for Kat, but just this one, small act of unnecessary aggression changed things.

No, actually, that's a lie. I've been itching to kill Vera too.

The only sound between them was when her keycard unlocked the door and the breathy laugh I let out as I wrapped the strap of her purse around her neck and pulled.

Bet you wish you didn't bump into me now, huh? I asked, deranged yet hushed laughter filling the air as I tightened the strap around her neck, wanting her to pass out.

I'm smart enough to know I wouldn't win in a fight against Vera, and who's going to stop me from making sure this fight wasn't fair?

The police? Please, I thought before letting out a yelp when Vera threw her body against mine, causing me to loosen my grip around the strap, but it didn't take too long before I had her pinned down, stabbing her in the shoulder, in the arm.

It's not enough. She deserves so much more.

I watched with glee as she started crawling away from me, and I took my time, knowing she didn't really have anywhere else to go. Another string of laughter could be heard as I realized where she was trying to go.

The balcony? Please, what was she going to do? Jump off it? Bleed to death in the bushes below?

You know, for some reason, I always thought you were smarter than this, but maybe that's just because you're best friends with two of the dumbest people I know, I said, right as I stabbed her in the back, the image of Vera's best friends, Kat and the other being Dante's baby mama, causing rage to run through me, making me pull on her hair to pin her down again before she could reach the balcony and ruin the fun I was having.

Stay down, you fucking bitch, I muttered as I stabbed her over and over and over again, laughing as I saw the tears in her eyes. Aww, are you going to cry, Vera? You're going to cry? I taunted her, the power of being the person responsible for this coursing through me and making me laugh again, before I heard footsteps. Again.

What the hell is up with people just roaming around these hallways? Didn't they know I have people to kill tonight?

Vera was already passed out, and the blood was already on my dress, so I decided to try and drag her to the opened hotel room, but the footsteps were getting closer and closer and I couldn't tell if it was just one person or two or three. I could handle killing one witness but three? Even I knew I couldn't handle that, and the realization caused me to drop Vera's body unceremoniously back on the floor, deciding to just wait out whoever this was before I go and make sure I killed Vera for good.

THE END

Levi really was onto something believing in a God because this felt like a blessing. The footsteps I heard belonged to none other than Kat, the one person I had been looking for in the first place.

Vera and Kat. Dead. Because of me.

Ooooooooh, this is perfect. This is exactly what I wanted.

I was still hiding out in Vera's room, but as soon as I saw Kat enter the room, I let out a cackle as I closed the door behind her, eyes boring into hers as I watched her back up to the wall.

You're not sorry, I spat out, disgust on my face before I tackled her down on the bed, the adrenaline and rage causing me to be a lot faster and stronger than ever. My hands wrapped themselves around Kat's throat, and I couldn't stop smiling. I wanted to draw this out. I wanted her to be in pain for as long as possible. I wanted her to look me in the eyes and know that she'll be dead because of me. That I did this to her.

I win, bitch, I thought as I grunted, tightening my hold around her neck, trying to flick her hands away from my face. I waited until Kat's hands were no longer clawing at her face, until I could see that she was turning blue before I sunk that knife deep in her stomach, exhaling deeply as euphoria coursed through me.

The sweet taste of revenge. The blood. The look in her eyes.

This is all I care about.

Save your fucking apologies, bitch. I don't want them, I said before I stabbed her again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I didn't want to stop, the glee in being coated in her blood causing me to not even think about anything else. I didn't care about Vera outside this door, and the fact that people might have seen her at this point. I didn't care if people might hear the laughter from this room and walk in.

I didn't care.

I WIN.

Peals of laughter filled the air as I had the most fun I had tonight, just stabbing Kat everywhere I could, stabbing her more times than I stabbed Sawyer and Toby combined.

I'm not done. I'm never going to be done. I can do this for the rest of my life.

Why had I waited so long to do this? This was so, so, so fun. Hurting Kat was so fun. Killing Kat was so fun. Seeing her blood soak into the white hotel comforter and turning it red was so, so, so fun.

It took her a while to realize she wasn't alone in the room anymore, and the smile only widened when she saw who it was.

My Jakey, I thought, standing beside the bed as I watched him look at his girlfriend. His dead girlfriend.

Now it could be him and me. Together forever. Our happy ever after.

I still had to deal with his sisters, but this was really, really good progress. Kat was no longer in the picture and the proud smile was still on my lips, even as I dropped the knife on the floor.

My work tonight is done, I think.

My head tilted to the side as I watched Jake pick up the knife and stepped closer towards me, backing me up until I was against the wall. What--, I started to ask before I felt his hands wrapping themselves around my neck, cutting off my air.

Kinky.

Oh, I actually kind of like this.

It's only when he kept talking that I realized this wasn't going to be like what they did after Theo and Bianca. I don't understand.

Didn't he love me? Didn't he say it was always going to be us in the end? Wasn't he happy I did what I had to do so we could be happy together?

I couldn't even gasp as I felt the sharp knife -- my knife -- plunge into my chest. Jake pulled me by my hair and threw me on the ground, and I felt woozy from the lack of air. I could feel blood dripping from my chest, but none of it hurt as much as my heart was.

The same heart that yearned for Jake since we were younger. The same heart that wholeheartedly believed we were in this together?

I wanted to say no, I wanted to beg him to stop, but he stabbed me again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again. And again, and again, and again, and again.

I don't understand.

I was his, and he was hurting me. He wanted to kill me. As I felt every stab, all I wanted to do was sob and tell him he was the one who made me into this. I thought this was what he wanted. I thought he loved me.

Because I loved him. I still did.

Even as he towered over me and hurt me and betrayed me, I loved him.

I love Jake. I always will.

I could feel myself drifting away now, as I thought about everything in my life that had brought me to this one moment. Maybe this was how it was always meant to be. I'll always be the girl who loves a little too much, gives too much of herself away, to get absolutely nothing good back.

There's nothing left for me to give now, I thought as I looked into the eyes of the man I had sacrificed everything for.

All I ever wanted was to be loved. Didn't I deserve that?

Didn't Jake owe me that? Since my love for him had been the reason for everything I did? Since he's still someone I'd do anything for?

Too much. It's all too much. It hurts too much.

It's almost ironic, how being stabbed in the chest hurt a lot less than a consistently broken heart.

[frasermacintosh]

IT’S MY PARTY AND I’LL CRY IF I WANT TO → STRAWBERRY LEMONADE

TAGGING → Fraser Macintosh & Lemon La Bouff ( @lemonlabouff )

TIMELINE → August 14th, 2021

SETTING → Lemon and Carter La Bouff’s 20th Birthday Party

SUMMARY → It’s the La Bouff twins’ 20th birthday party, and the speak-easy 20′s theme is perfection. Everything goes according to plan until Lemon has her first kiss during a party game of all things, and she and one of her oldest friends end up shoved in a closet so that, thankfully, the tears she sheds afterwards aren’t seen by the public. When you play a mashup of Suck N Blow and 7 Minutes in Heaven, anything can happen.

Fraser would've been excited to attend Lemon and Carter's birthday no matter what, but the speakeasy 20's theme had definitely been a huge draw; it gave him a great excuse to dress up in a plaid suit with a bowtie, suspenders, and even a hat, even though that last one didn't stay on for long. After all, the Macintosh hair was too beautiful to hide. It wasn't until a big circle of people signing up to play Suck N Seven Minutes started forming though that his jacket was also tossed to the side. He would've been surprised that something like a kissing game was happening at a party of the La Bouff's, but then again, the party had been advertised as debaucherous, so why not?

He shuffled into place along with everyone else, bumping shoulders with the birthday girl as he did so. She started off the game, facing away from Fraser and passing on the playing card to the player on her other side, and from there, one person to the next passed on the card using only their lips. This version had a fun twist, where whichever pair fumbled the card had to spend seven minutes in the nearest closet, doing whatever they wanted. Fraser couldn't help grinning as the game continued, his eyes scanning the circle excitedly to see who'd be the first two who dropped the ball. When it was some people halfway across the circle from them, he joined in with everyone else laughing or jeering as the two headed off to the aforementioned closet.

"I'm sure I'm like the millionth person to tell you this party is awesome," Fraser laughed, turning to Lemon to make some conversation while someone nearby counted down seven minutes. "How many more games like this are there going to be? Because I didn't exfoliate my lips for nothing."

As much as Lemon liked to believe that every party she and Carter had ever thrown were the most perfect events to ever be curated by “visionaries such as themselves”, she was absolutely certain that they all vastly paled in comparison to their 1920’s themed 20th birthday party. The La Bouffs had really splashed out on giving the twins the perfect vintage speakeasy experience right down to a live band playing modern music in the style of music from the 1920s and a bar that served real moonshine cocktails “for the guests over 21”.

Plus everyone was actually more than keen to go along with the recommended vibe of debaucherous, which was perfect considering Lemon had no intention on actually participating in any of the risque games she’d come up with to give the party that trashy great gatsby 2013-esque vibe herself. The closest she planned to actually participate was by sitting in the circle for  Suck N Seven minutes and daintily sip bourbon from the fancy flask she’d bought to wear in the garter that had come with her glittering white flapper dress while everyone else did all the kissing and lord knows what else in the closet. She’d even specifically practiced the game enough times at home alone to ensure that she wouldn’t accidentally slip up and have to kiss anyone.

“More like the millionth and first person to tell be how great this party is, but feel free to say it more times.” Lemon said, dramatically flipping her hair over her shoulder as she jokingly basked in the praise. “There are a few more games coming. Do you have any one in particular you want to kiss tonight? I’m sure I could rig one of them to work out in your favor.”

"Am I also the millionth and first person to tell you how much this look suits you then?" Fraser tried again cheekily; it was true, Lemon in that dress with her hair flung over her shoulder was basically an art piece. "Because I thought I looked good but you somehow almost look as good as me. Kudos." Maybe by the end of her birthday, he'd tell her that she looked even better than him, but that felt unnecessarily kind, especially when the present he had brought her would probably put everyone else's to shame.

He considered her question for a few more moments, then shook his head. "Nah, not really. I'm an equal opportunity kisser. After all, luck works in mysterious ways. Everyone here deserves the chance. Thanks, though. What about you? Any games rigged in particular for the birthday girl? You can tell me, I can keep a secret," Fraser joked. He was pretty sure that the answer was no, but ribbing Lemon was always fun. It was definitely more fun than waiting for the seven minutes to be up.

“Probably! I do look like such an amuse-gueule, don’t I?” Lemon struck a couple of silly poses to showcase how great she looked before elbowing Fraser hard in the arm. “Dream on, Chere. There isn’t a person here tonight that could ever hope to outshine me and as cute as your bowtie is, you could never.”

Even though Lemon knew full well that Fraser knew her well enough to know that she’d never rig a game so she’d have to do anything with any of her party guests, she couldn’t help but meaningfully look over at Romeo Dubois and let out an exaggerated sigh. Despite having ice in his wine like the grossest trainwreck alive, Lemon really understood how Gatsby must’ve felt staring out at Daisy’s green light, so close but so far away from what he wanted the most. “You already know my biggest secret and unfortunately that’s something I can’t even rig.” Looking away from Romeo before she felt anything other than complete happiness over her success of a birthday party, Lemon pulled the flask out of her garter and took a sip before offering it to Fraser. “Want some?”

"I don't know what an amuse-guele is but if that means that you look like you showered today, sure," Fraser joked, underplaying how gorgeous his friend was partially for humor but also because compliments had to be worked for. When she elbowed him, he gripped his arm and let out an exaggerated "Ow!" and laughed to cover up the fact that it actually hurt a little bit. "Hey, don't damage the goods! I get that your beauty is feeling threatened but bruising me won't make me less awesome."

Fraser fought the urge to roll his eyes so hard at Lemon's theatrics that his eyes actually strained. He knew she had a crush on Romeo but that he didn't mean he liked it. The dude was weird and somehow let the fact that one of the coolest girls alive was into him just pass him by. "Yeah, well, it's his loss. Chalk it up to bad taste -- because seriously, who drinks wine with ice?" Fraser asked, his nose wrinkling.

He burst out into a smile at the sight of the flask and nodded. "Fuck yeah! Now it's a party!" Fraser wasn't sure what was in it but any alcohol was better than none. "Cheers to you, birthday girl! May no one make a baby in the closet of your party," he joked as he took a hearty sip and the door of the closet opened and the couple came back out, visibly rumpled.

“It’s french for party snack, you imbecile.” Lemon laughed, rolling her eyes in reaction to Fraser’s antics. “Must I remind you that denial is not only a river in Egypt.  I could never feel threatened by you, but especially not tonight. Not even Snow White herself could convince me that I’m not the best looking person here.”

Lemon wrinkled her nose a little in distaste, because really who DID drink wine with ice in it? But refused to actually comment on the matter because in her opinion it was rather distasteful to secretly diss the one you love, no matter how bad his taste really was.  

“Oh disgusting, don’t jinx my party!” Lemon squealed, snagging her flask back before realizing that the closet couple had come out and definitely had been doing more than just perusing the coats in there. Once the couple sat back down, the person that had dropped the card smugly passed it on to the next person and the game began again where they’d left off. Lemon elbowed Fraser one last time for good measure. “If someone gets knocked up in there, I’m directing them right to you to blame.”

"Don't call me an imbelice, ya dobber," Fraser laughed right back, shaking his head at her. He wanted to argue further, but the truth was that Snow White herself couldn't hold a candle to Lemon tonight, and it wasn't just her look. It was how excited she was for her party written all over her face. All he really could say was, "Historically, it'd be the Magic Mirror trying to convince you, not Queen White, but if you say so, birthday girl."

Fraser tried his hardest not to spit out any of the alcohol as the flask got snatched away, and his forehead crumpled in confusion. "Hey!" he blurted, swallowing hard. "You better let me get another sip later, that was actually pretty good shit." He fought the urge to elbow Lemon back, not wanting to leave the birthday girl bruised. "If someone gets knocked up in here, it's entirely a result of your debaucherous theme, not because of anything I did! If you direct them to me, I'm going to encourage them to name the baby Lemon. Luckily it works for whatever gender."

There was a close call between two party-goers with the card but with some crouching, they were able to keep the card going until it got closer to Fraser. He took it from the girl on one side of him and winked at her, and when she gave him a flirty face back, it made him think that maybe she was someone worth talking to after this game was over. After all, it was a party! It was the perfect time to talk to a new beautiful girl. He turned to Lemon with the card, but then a chuckle that was stuck in the back of his throat from flirting with the other girl disrupted the surface tension and he felt his top lip connect to Lemon's.

His eyes opened wide in surprise but as the card dropped, he let himself turn the lip touch into a slight smooch, because why not? It was a party! And it may have just been a peck but it sure was fun, especially as everybody ooooohed and awwwwed and pushed them to the closet, opening the door for them and slamming it shut, leaving them alone in near darkness.

“Don’t be an imbecile then.” Lemon responded breezily, waving away the semantics of his response away with another eyeroll and a flip of her hand. Fraser clearly knew what she meant so who cared if she hadn’t said it quite right.

Lemon grinned  at Fraser’s protest when she took her flask back. She’d “borrowed” it from her grandfather’s personal stash and it was easily the most expensive and best tasting alcohol there. “The theme is not debauchery. The theme is 1920s speakeasy, the suggested vibe is debaucherous, there’s a difference. You’re the one actively speaking a baby into existence on them, so if you’re going to encourage them to name it Lemon, I’m going to tell them to make the middle name Strawberry. Then it’ll have all the correct acknowledgments attached to it and it’ll match.”

Lemon watched the game go around in amusement, at least until it got closer to her and the amusement turned into focused determination to not drop it on her turn. Luckily…or rather... Unluckily, she didn’t have a thing to worry about on her turn because instead of the cool touch of the card pressing against her lips, it was the warm lips of one of her oldest friends.

Lemon felt like her blood was turning to ice water in her veins as Fraser made it more of a kiss than just an itsy bitsy gross lip touch they could spend the next seven minutes in the closet giggling about. It was officially her first kiss and NOT the way it was supposed to go. After backing out of kissing Myles earlier in the year, Lemon had decided that her first kiss would be strictly reserved for the boy she actually loved and as much as she loved Fraser as a friend, he was simply not Romeo.

As soon as they got shoved in the closet Lemon had no idea what to do other than burst into tears. Not loudly in case anyone close could hear them but enough to make it more than clear to Fraser that absolutely nothing in the in the closet would be matching the aforementioned debaucherous party vibe.

"Lemon Strawberry. Sounds delicious... and like they'll be teased for the rest of their life," Fraser laughed, faux-shuddering at the very thought. "They might as well go by Strawberry Lemonade or something else that sounds like it's from a children's television show." He was probably thinking about it too much and he wondered if maybe they were talking a baby into existence; he decided that if they did, he wouldn't feel guilty. It'd just be further proof of how awesome he was, that he could make a baby without having to be physically involved at all.

Unfortunately for him, something was about to happen to make him feel solidly un-awesome. He didn't think a kiss between friends could possibly be a bad thing, especially when that friend was as cool as Lemon usually was, but by the time they got pushed into the closet, it was obvious that she didn't share that sentiment. She was crying like her husband had just gone off to war and it left him feeling too many things at the same time. There was concern, obviously, because if a friend was sobbing, any sane human would be concerned.

But more than that, there was annoyance and major insult that, all together, felt a lot like hurt. Fraser didn't spend a lot of his free time wondering what it'd be like kissing Lemon but once it happened, he figured it was something they'd enjoy, or at least be able to laugh about. He knew he wasn't her precious Romeo, but he also wasn't the short weird art kid from the Isle that she'd kissed already either, and from what he knew, she didn't weep when that one happened.

He was hoping something closer to the concerned end of his emotional spectrum would come out when he did finally get over the shock of her tears enough to talk, but what actually escaped him was something like "What the hell are you crying about?! You'd think I slapped you or something. It was just a kiss, Líomóid! It's kind of the whole point of the game! Get a grip." He didn't mean to sound so angry, but he felt rejected, and by someone he wasn't even out to get! The fun he'd been having with her at the party had died and was like a heavy beast was sitting in his chest now. Fraser turned away from her with crossed arms, not able to handle looking at her tears for one more second.

“I’m crying because you ruined my birthday!” Lemon yelled back, dramatically stomping her foot like a character in a movie to emphasize her point. What right did Fraser have to be angry at her for getting upset? It wasn’t his first kiss that had been thrown away in front of so many witnesses. It wasn’t his 20th birthday that would forever be tainted by losing a game she’d specifically come up with to make EVERYONE ELSE look kinda trashy. As far as Lemon was concerned, Fraser had won the freaking lottery, He’d gotten to kiss her!

Lemon used all her strength to turn Fraser back around to face her. “What are you, a five year old? You don’t get to turn  around when I’m mad at you! I’m crying and it’s your fault because YOU couldn’t play a stupid game right, so now you have to look at me.”

He was glad to be facing away from her, because otherwise Lemon would've seen Fraser roll his eyes at her claiming he "ruined" her birthday. She still might've heard his huff, but to be fair, he wasn't trying to be quiet. She deserved to know she sounded ridiculous, and if she was going to stomp her little foot at him, then him huffing at her was more than called for. After all, what kind of party was made worse by kissing the hottest person in the room?

But then she tried to get his attention and got him to face her again and he couldn't hold in the annoyance any longer. "You're calling me a five year old?! Seriously?! You're the one sobbing because, what, you accidentally kissed the best guy at the party? The only reason anyone should be kissing after kissing me is because they didn't get to kiss me longer, so get over yourself. It was just a stupid game and you're the one deciding to cry about it, not me, so no, I don't want to look at you. In fact ---"

Fraser cut himself off and moved towards Lemon, picking her up and spinning them around so she was facing away. "Now just stay there for the rest of the seven minutes, fuck."

Lemon let out a loud scream of rage when Fraser picked her up and faced her away like SHE was the one acting like a poorly behaved toddler now. She turned right back around and put her hands on her hips angrily. “Quit it! You’re not the best boy here by a LOOONG shot! If anything you’re the WORST boy here and I couldn’t have gotten stuck with a worse first kiss if I TRIED! And considering the applications I got in January, that’s saying a LOT and that’s why I’m crying. Because You’re the worst!” Then because Lemon couldn’t think of a better way to end it, she turned right back around and crossed her own arms this time.

Fraser hadn't been expecting her to yell but people yelled plenty back home in his part of Dunbroch, and yelling back was how someone showed that they weren't backing down, which he wasn't, so he yelled back and didn't stop until she did. He was way too fired up to just roll over and take her weird ass breakdown, because he hadn't done anything wrong, so when she turned back around, he rolled up his sleeves, ready to roll with whatever dumb punches she dropped. Saying he was the worst was a terrible start on her part, because if there was one thing Fraser knew with all his heart, it was that he was truly the best at everything, kissing included. The more she prattled on, though, the more things started making sense.

"UGH!" he groaned, walking around Lemon so his back was against the closet wall and he could face her again without spinning her around. "What are you saying? That you, what, didn't kiss the short art kid?" The anger on his face dissipated for a moment as he took in the fact that Lemon lost her first kiss at a party, during a dumb game, which definitely wasn't on brand for her. But then he realized that she was disappointed about him as a first kiss when he was clearly a better option than anyone else she could find, and his forehead creased again. "I'm sorry your first kiss wasn't how you wanted it to go but I didn't know it was your first! And it's not my fault that you lied about that! And I know I should apologize, but I'm a hundred percent an upgrade to that guy, or any other guy who applied to your weird kiss resume thing! So just... quit crying, okay? Please?"

He let out a sigh and his shoulders crumbled forward. "It was just a game anyway. A lot of people don't even count games, so we could just say it doesn't count. Besides, it's not like I gave you a real kiss anyway."

“Yes! Obviously I didn’t kiss Myles. Why would I ever be this upset if I had kissed someone before!” Admittedly Lemon probably still would’ve cried in the closet if she’d kissed ten boys before this. She hated doing anything that she didn’t have written down to the minute in her planner. But still. “I know you didn’t know but that still doesn’t give you the right to yell at me for crying! I’m upset and you’re screaming at me! How am I supposed to stop crying!”  

Lemon sniffled hard, actually attempting to stop crying but at this point it was too late and her tears weren’t going to be stopping for a minute. She really hoped it would at least be before it was time to come out of the closet, luckily after years of watching her mother look like an absolute lunatic after crying jags Lemon had always made it a point to only buy waterproof eyeliner and mascara, so if she could get it together she probably wouldn’t look that wrecked when they left. “It was a game but I count games and so do a lot of other people so it counts to me. Lips touching like that is totally a real kiss, what are you talking about?”

Fraser snorted at the 'obviously', not feeling the need to point out once again that she'd lied about her whole insane kiss application thing and thus it wasn't 'obvious' at all. "I don't know, you're asking me to make sense out of a crazy woman's brain!" She did have a point though and so Fraser let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "Fine, fine, whatever, consider my screaming done. It's just..." He didn't know how to tell her how insulted he really was, so he just didn't. He let himself trail off and kept shaking his head, not sure what to say.

Besides, seeing Lemon all sniffly and sad did kind of send a solid, genuine pang of regret through him. He kind of wished he could go back and change what happened, but for all he knew, Lemon would've gotten upset and counted it as a kiss no matter what, just because it wasn't what she'd expected. "It's the people who don't kiss people outside of games who count them," he tried, his tone way softer than it'd been a minute ago. "Once you're out there in the real world, kissing the actual guy you want to be kissing, you'll realize this one didn't count at all. It can be erased from history then."

He couldn't help but crack a little bit of a smile at her last question and he shrugged a shoulder. "Lips touching is just lips touching; you wouldn't call hands brushing past each other 'holding hands', would you? Kissing is more than a brief graze. I mean, we weren't even touching each other anywhere, and we were standing way too far apart. A real kiss would've left you swooning, not crying. Especially if it was from me." He paused but then curiosity overcame him. "But uh, why didn't you kiss Myles? You did that whole application thing presumably to avoid situations like this and then you just... didn't?"

“I’m not crazy!” Lemon huffed, stomping her foot again. If she hadn’t been so genuinely offended by the insult she might have gotten smug about Fraser backing down from yelling at her, but at this point she felt like it was the least he could do to still be able to be called one of her best friends by the end of the night. 

Once Fraser softened his tone for her, Lemon genuinely tried to actually listen to him and maybe believe what he was saying. But she still wasn’t buying it, especially when he insisted that if it was a real kiss from him she would’ve been swooning but that was more best friend exclusive pettiness than an knock on his skills of persuasion. 

“It just didn’t feel right. I don’t know?” She shrugged, briefly glancing around the closet to see if there was something she could dry her face with before giving up and  delicately using the side of her finger to try and dab some of her tears away. “It was like how none of my plays have been working lately. I planned it all out so perfectly and got so close to getting it done exactly the way I wanted it, but I like knew it still wasn’t actually right so I didn’t actually end up going through with it.  Plus he really is kind of short so it felt a little stupid too. But don’t tell anyone I told you or it’ll make Romeo’s height difference kink sound valid.”

Fraser raised his brows at Lemon's huffing, as if she was just proving his point about the craziness, but he didn't delve into that deeper. He didn't think he needed to, especially since he got the feeling that he'd hurt her feelings with that comment and he'd done enough damage that night as was, even though he still refused to think of the kiss thing as his fault. In any other circumstances, Lemon kissing him wouldn't be a bad thing for either of them, and he was sure of that, even though they'd obviously never prove it one way or another.

He noticed her looking for something to wipe her tears on and he sighed, pulling a handkerchief out of his pants pocket and handing it to her wordlessly. It was the one he'd had in his jacket pocket earlier and he'd wanted to hold onto it, although he hadn't anticipated it'd be for this reason. He really did feel bad for Lemon the more she explained. It was the curse of the perfectionist, and that was a curse he understood well. She got him to laugh a little bit with that last comment though and he shook his head through the chuckle.

"Don't worry, that secret dies with me, mostly because height difference kinks are stupid in the first place. Men who need height to feel like a 'man' next to their woman are wildly insecure." Fraser cleared his throat and smiled awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I'm sorry that your plans aren't as perfect in execution as they are in your head, both writing plans and kissing plans. That's what happens when your brain is better than the real world. Do you want... a hug?" Offering that felt a little weird but he also wasn't sure how else to comfort her and they probably had a few minutes left locked together in this torture chamber anyway.

Lemon gratefully took Fraser’s handkerchief with a small watery smile and dried her eyes as much as she could without rubbing them before folding it and awkwardly keeping it in her hand since she wasn’t sure what else she was supposed to do with it because handing it back seemed a little gross.

Lemon didn’t mean to laugh at Fraser’s response to her comment about Romeo’s height kink since she WAS in love with him and still kind of upset but a small giggle slipped out anyway since it was exactly the same thing she’d thought about it but had been mostly too nice to say. “You’re so right.” Lemon agreed before lifting an eyebrow at Fraser’s slight pause before the word hug. In a moment of either genius or insanity an idea popped into Lemon’s head in a flash. She pulled her flask out of her garter once more and took a big mouthful of the bourbon she’d only been using for sipping thus far before passing it over to Fraser. “Actually could you kiss me? Like for real this time? Well not for real real, but you know party real?”

The tension in the closet didn't disappear immediately at Lemon's giggle but it definitely dissipated enough for Fraser to take a small sigh of relief. So long as he hadn't totally ruined her night, or their friendship, they could make it through the rest of the party. "I'm almost always right," he added with a half-smile, glad she wasn't above admitting Romeo's  'you must be this short to ride this prince' thing wasn't weird. He'd never expect her to flat out badmouth the dude, but laughing at him was a good bonding moment, as was sharing a drink. Fraser took the flask grateful and raised it in tandem with his eyebrows before taking a big gulp.

The bourbon was still in his mouth when Lemon asked for a kiss and before he could perform a spit take which would be extra disgusting given their enclosed status, Fraser took a hard gulp to make sure all the liquid went down. "You've got to be shitting me," he said, shaking his head. "I mean, this is some sort of weird trick, right? Because your face is still slightly damp from me party kissing you before and I don't want to give you an excuse to hate me for longer than necessary." He expected her to burst out laughing, or admit it was a strange joke on her part making fun of him for wanting a hug or for fucking up so badly in the first place. It was the only reality that made sense, although his lips absentmindedly rubbed together for moisture as if his brain was preparing him for the slim to none chance that she was actually asking for what it sounded like she'd said.

Lemon’s nose scrunched up slightly in response to the rejection, she had of course expected it since it WAS a really strange thing to ask after the hissy fit she’d thrown barely minutes before hand. But their time in the closet was running out and now that she’d decided she wanted to do it, she wanted it done as soon as possible. “No, It’s not a trick! I mean it!” She insisted, using his handkerchief again to try and make her face less damp from crying. “You already got my first party kiss that may or may not have counted, so you might as well get the real one while we’re here?”

Fraser eyed Lemon suspiciously, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to figure out whether or not he could trust Lemon's sudden shift. He didn't think she'd take it this far if it was a joke, but he also had a hard time believing she suddenly deemed him worthy when just a few seconds ago kissing him had been some sort of nightmare. The more he thought about it though, the more sense it made; after all, he knew he was better than just about any other guy she could find for this, and she already felt like she'd lost her first kiss...

The second he decided to take her up on her offer, he sighed, hoping it wasn't just the bourbon that made them both think this wasn't a bad idea. "Fine, fine, if it'll get you to shut up," he said, half-grumbling as if she'd asked him to do something far more tedious than kiss a beautiful girl. Before she could really say anything back to that, he took her cheeks into his hands and brought their faces together, some force behind it as he hastened to make sure this actually happened. Once they were in each other's space, he let his more experienced lips guide hers through an actual kiss, the kind he was sure girls wrote home about when they were lucky enough that it happened to them.

Lemon was all ready to tell Fraser that he didn’t have to kiss her if he was going to be a little bitch about it, but before she could even open her mouth it was already a little busy being kissed. Wide eyed, she instinctively wanted to push him back just for being so rushed about it, but she managed to resist the urge for long enough to realize that maybe it was for the best. She’d already backed out of one of her grand kiss schemes before, it would be even more embarrassing if she had the freedom to chicken out of the second one too. And even though she wasn’t at all sure what made someone a good or bad kisser, she could at least tell that it wasn’t an entirely unpleasant experience and a few seconds into it, managed to relax enough to close her eyes and just let it happen without trying to take control as she was wont to do with anything else in life.

Fraser's eyes had closed as soon as his lips had made contact with Lemon's, but he could still feel the hesitancy on her part. He wasn't one to pull back or quit though, especially not when he was doing this at her request in the first place, and when that hesitancy passed, it was almost like a sense of calm took its place. It was a calm that, ironically, excited him to his core, the kind of calm that, in his experience, only came with the really good kisses.

He was so used to Lemon fighting with him for the heck of it that it was weird that this felt so normal now, and he pushed some of her hair back as he deepened the kiss, lingering as long as he could and only pulling back when he needed some air.

"There. Happy now?" The snappiness he wanted in that comment was diminished significantly by the smile he didn't even realize he had on and the fact that he sounded a bit breathless, but beneath the sarcasm, he really hoped Lemon had gotten what she'd wanted out of that. If she hadn't, he'd actually maybe feel a little guilty, because he'd sure enjoyed it.

Lemon was surprised at herself when the first thing she wanted to do when Fraser finally pulled away was POUT.  It was a good kiss and kind of left her feeling a little dazed but was it good enough to allow Fraser to get a big head about and let him lord over her for the absolute rest of their lives? Not really!

Putting on her best unimpressed look, Lemon shrugged casually. “I mean, I guess I am. I’m not exactly swooning but if that’s what gets em going, okay.” She knew she was being a jerk by pretending that she hadn’t been at all moved by the kiss. But with the way she and Fraser generally operated, anything other than forcing herself to burst into tears again was absolutely unacceptable. “Merci beaucoup, for helping me get that out of the way, I guess.”

Fraser wasn't waiting for a swoon necessarily -- swooning at a kiss that happened in a closet of all places was so far from Lemon's brand that even he couldn't take it personally if she didn't -- but he was waiting for some sort of reaction to let him know she'd liked that as much as he did. It didn't feel particularly conceited to think of himself as a good kisser. After all, he'd gotten plenty of positive feedback in his day. However, when all he got in response was a shrug and an "I guess", that same feeling of rejection from when Lemon had originally burst into tears prickled around him like a particularly itchy sweater.

He shoved that down though, like one might shove down an adverse reaction to a particularly itchy sweater if it was a gift from a loved one, and just rolled his eyes at her. "It works on normal girls, so I guess I should've seen this coming," he shot back. "But yeah, yeah, you're welcome. Maybe now the next time you kiss someone, you won't turn into a freaking water park. In fact, let the next guy know he should send me a fruit basket as thanks." He smiled despite himself, clearing his throat as he heard a countdown starting on the other side of the door, probably marking down the time they had left in the closet.

Lemon rolled her eyes at the normal girls comment but smiled back at Fraser anyway. “I’ll be sure to let the next guy know.” Obviously Lemon was certain that the next guy would be her beloved Romeo, a theory that warmed her heart so much that before the count got too far down, she wrapped her arms around Fraser in a tight embrace.

“I do really appreciate you for kissing me again even though I cried and it doesn’t count. You’re such a good best friend to me.” Lemon admitted, pressing her cheek into his as she let all of her words come out in one big rushed blur to make up for how genuinely she meant it. Then she strategically waited until the countdown was done and the door opened before letting Fraser go, just so it looked like they’d been doing more than screaming at each other for most of the past seven minutes.

The hug that he'd originally asked for finally came and it nearly caught him off guard with how quickly it came to him but luckily Fraser caught Lemon in his arms in time and squeezed back. Them being the same height meant they were face to face again, in a much different way than a few moments ago though, cheek to cheek, and Lemon's words reached him quickly, privately, and unexpectedly earnestly. It made a weird lump form in his throat that he wouldn't be able to explain even if he tried.

"You're a good best friend too," he confessed in a near-whisper, as if saying it too loudly would make up for the fact that he didn't say 'I know' or something else like that. He wanted to add a cutting and inaccurate comment like 'even though you're a shit kisser' but not as much as he wanted to just stay in that moment a few seconds more, and then the door was open and he let go of her with a grin as they made their way back into the fray.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Hola Dani 👋🏼 ¿todo bien? I hope things are good on your side of the world, over here the rain has been causing chaos but thankfully nothing serious 🙌🏼 however my plans of going to the farm to visit Cocoa have been ruined 😒

I'll go get my hair done instead, my birthday is coming up and I want to look fierce 💃🏽

The One with the Game

Rafael chuckled, bouncing the toddler in his arms. Abigail pulled at his curls. “Attacking the Consul is high treason, chiquita.”

Mi bebé precioso esta listo para ser papá 😍😍😍

“Do it soon! Magnus and I need to finalize the invitee list for the engagement party,” her mother said.

Ok but... I have this feeling that we're either going to get the most chaotic wedding proposal ever or... something really bad is going to happen and there won't be a proposal until like the epilogue or something 😭😭

I call it "the Dani related trauma effect"

“That,” Ragnor said and looked at Georgia. “That is a puzzle we cannot seem to solve.”

We have a mystery to solve 🕵🏻‍♀️

“I’ll join you guys in a bit,” Rafael smiled. “Marcus wanted to have a chat.”

Arg I hate that guy 😡😡😡

“Or brothers,” Marcus smiled. 

Stay back you creepy clingy bitch!!!

“All warlocks are hot,” Camila pointed out.

Truly!! Speaking of hotness, when is Benjamin coming??? Asking for myself 🥵

“This wasn’t an argument,” Max sighed. “It…It didn’t feel like us.”

Exactly!!!! Something is wrong I can feel it!!!

“You are so naïve, Rafe!” Max groaned. "She obviously sabotaged Anjali."

This he noticed but Mallory's bitchiness escapes him!!

Max looked at Rafael and shook his head. “What a bad bitch.”

Things will get easier and more peaceful soon.

Rafael will propose then.

I'm scared 🥲🥲🥲

Lexi would never admit it out loud in a million years. But she kind of missed Raziel.

Alexandra what the fuck??? Just go to your gay Yoda of an uncle...

Yes, I'm manifesting gay twin times!!!

“I went for a walk,” Uncle Alec replied. “Ended up here.”

There he is... we can feel it in the air when our kind is need!!

I love them so much!!!!!!!!! Thank you Dani!!! 🥰

Fuck these demons

“Then why the fuck else are they here?” Lexi demanded angrily.

I need answers!!!

“Maybe he is possessed,” Gabriel shrugged. “Lack of control over your actions is one of the earliest signs of possessions.”

Stop talking about possession is making me nervous

Uncle Jace looked like he was close to crying.

😭😭😭😭 yeah no shit... 😔

How do you ask someone if they are possessed? How do you ask someone to come to the silent city so they can check if you're possessed?

“How am I supposed to know?” Selena demanded. “It’s not like there is a coffee shop for possessed people!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣

“Listen to me, you piece of shit,” Max growled. “I will hang out with whoever the fuck I want. You don’t get to dictate my social life.”

Daniela you RAISIN...!!!!😡 Stop hurting my Mavid loving heart 😭😭😭

David finished his tea and put down the cup. “Okay. Then get out of my office.”

“I’m angry, Max!” David yelled back. “I’m allowed to be angry! I’m allowed to be jealous and insecure! These are human emotions!”

That's all true baby boo but you are acting super OOC and is making me really really anxious

“And it scares me that the more time you spend with her, you will come to realize that there are better options out there.”

Sweetie no one is better than you, NO ONE you are the bestest best!!!

“Yeah right,” Max snorted. “With who? Your jealous ass is obsessed with me.”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

David peeled off his t-shirt. “Who said we'll be talking?”

😮😮😮😮 he is definitely possessed by hornyness

“Jackson,” Max whispered to the silent brother. “I need your help.”

Serious responsible Max is making me very scared for David

I'm so scared right now, David is freaking me out!!!! WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!?! Dani why??? Why??? I have so many questions!!!!! 😫😫

I'm so hooked to this story that if die before is finished my spirit will stay behind just to know what hap is fuckening here!!!!

Thank youuuu Dani... you're the bestest best!! I am love you 💚💚💚💚💚

THE GIFS, mi corazon. THE GIFS. (sure i didn't learn Spanish yet but i know all the terms of endearment so like yay)

I'm sorry you didn't get to see cocoa. This is unacceptable. I hope the weather clears up so you can have a nice day out 🥺

ALSO OMG i was ONLY TODAY telling my mom that if i die before House of the Dragon is over, i will become a ghost and watch it lol SAME FEELS BRO.

Sending you love x

[chrrybbamb]

your muse saw mine kiss another person ( shieli )

‘LETS SHAKE THINGS UP‘ MEME

noelli and shiwoo : aceito ! ♡ @marocass

"você gosta de sofrer, noelli." a frase de sua mãe rodeava sua mente, aquilo a fazia pensar muito na vida, pois não deixava de ser mentira. primeiro, todos os momentos que passou antes de conseguir enxergar e agora, tinha que aguentar 'sua cara metade' sendo feliz com outra pessoa... mas o problema foi: estar procurando por shiwoo e deparar com o mesmo aos beijos com a namorada, não era nada de anormal, mas para o pobre coração da bae, aquilo era como um soco.

saiu as presas, tampando a própria face - evitando que alguém flagrasse tal momento - até chegar no elevador, onde apertou um andar qualquer as pressas e se ajoelhou, deixando as lágrimas descerem. — por que tem que ser tão difícil? — questionou com um bico nos lábios, secando o rosto com a manga de sua blusa. — why was he holding her hand, when he's supposed to be mine? it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to... — cantarolou até que a porta abrisse, correndo o mais rápido possível até uma sala vazia, onde poderia chorar em paz. — será que um dia, você será meu, shiwoo?

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids

gotspoons: [A chatroom/forum situation for teens with invisible illnesses/disabilities, a resource that is recommended when you can't go to IRL groups for your health/they aren't in your area etc] gotspoons: Ticked one whole thing off my to-do list today, feeling like a champ 💪 also feeling like a 2-hour long nap, who here relates? 🥱 tigerbalm: 🖐 took my nap earlier & yet 😴💤 brainpain: 💕🛏 brainpain: long lasting relationship with my memory foam mattress gotspoons: There is NO limit on the number of naps necessary to make it through the day tigerbalm: or the number of abandoned to-do lists, what was your 1 thing? gotspoons: 🚿 looks like breakfast will have to wait tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: @brainpain I have so many memory foam pillows in every room of my house I'm basically a shareholder 🙌 brainpain: @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously same but I've got my fave, I call him Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👏🙏 thank you for your service, Edgar tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: must name mine, only named the chariot 🦼 Charlton gotspoons: [ihatemyguts has entered the chat] gotspoons: A newbie, welcome! tigerbalm: 👋 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: love the username, what ails ya? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: because this is the only place it's acceptable to ask 'what's WRONG with you?' but not the only place you encounter it, right brainpain: but you don't have to answer cos it's also somewhere where you're encouraged to 'express yourself' translation: be an arsehole if you want brainpain: if you don't go hardcore enough to get blocked brainpain: @fibrofog LMAO tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the normies get to be rude as their default, and it is NOT encouraged to hit people with your cane, let me tell you ihatemyguts: Hi, everyone ihatemyguts: I'll do my best not to be an arsehole, even if my problem only lie directly above said orifice, which makes it a struggle not to be at times ihatemyguts: UC, first flare totally fucked over the family holiday 😬 sorry to that hotel toilet and my long-suffering parents and brother brainpain: newbie got jokes AND comedy timing ihatemyguts: 🚽 humour isn't all I have, I swear, though my life now does revolve entirely around the porcelain throne so it's no surprise I'm anally expulsive, thanks to Freud for that read tigerbalm: Freud's the perv, am I right? ihatemyguts: Totally ihatemyguts: and a big believer in the cocaine cure-all, which my Doctor just wasn't going for, shame tigerbalm: sounds like my sleazy uncle in every way tigerbalm: why does everybody get one? gotspoons: 😂 This chat is worth keeping my eyes open for gotspoons: every family is a play, and we're destined to be the 'sick kid' part gotspoons: other players react accordingly, from the 'can't look at you without crying' to the 'thinks you're making it up for some reason' brainpain: I vote we all go off script like @fibrofog 🤬🚨👿❗️ ihatemyguts: I guess I'm lucky in the sense that if anyone doubts the legitimacy of my illness, I can offer to show them the contents of my stomach/toilet bowl ihatemyguts: that shuts them up relatively fast, not had to go full 🐒 and throw it at anyone yet ihatemyguts: though I'm intrigued by the infamous @fibrofog, who are they, where, and why the infamy? Fill a girl in brainpain: the myth, the legend brainpain: so angry cos I turned 'em down for a romantic rendezvous ihatemyguts: No way! ihatemyguts: I'm glad that napping isn't the only action the memory foam is getting ihatemyguts: we're just like any other teens, right guys? 💁 tigerbalm: @brainpain you know the rules, fedora pics or it didn't happen! tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: you know what they say about disabled chicks, grateful 😉 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: #dontkillmeladies #iamnotasleazyuncle tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: don't think Mr. Fog was even a legit 🥄 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: total predator tigerbalm: if it was my uncle I'm SO sorry 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: family who piggyback are THE worst tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: no, MY disability doesn't make YOU automatically WOKE for not drowning me in the tub or throwing me off the nearest high place I can access ihatemyguts: Honestly, I've never felt as simultaneously popular and unpopular in my life ihatemyguts: people 💬 a big acceptance game on the socials ihatemyguts: but no one wants to actually hang with the girl who can't eat shit and will spend half her time in the 🚽 gotspoons: Everyone's supportive until your disability gets in the way of THEIR perfect life even slightly gotspoons: imagine if they were one of us 👽 brainpain: speak for yourselves, my slurred speech makes me a hit with all my hard partying peers brainpain: get weird without a 🍹 ihatemyguts: hey man, don't let us drag you down 😎 ihatemyguts: if @fibrofog was feeling you, you're WAY too cool for this chat right now brainpain: never have, never will, baby 😉 brainpain: [inandout has entered the chat] gotspoons: OH MY GOD, that's a whole different story...my parents = you need to socialize more, live life! my parents = I don't know if this group is good for you, we think you're being encouraged to display and give in to even more problems gotspoons: thanks guys, you're literally making me more disabled with your disabledness 😂 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It is a cult, well-known fact, leave your productiveness to society at the door and let's all lie here and feel sorry for ourselves, doesn't that sound like fun, kids? 😈 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and 👋 sup, inandout, not seen you in a while tigerbalm: my parents act like y'all are catching too! Would you like to cage me like a legit 🐅 or? inandout: baited breath inandout: out living that life like @gotspoons parents want tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: It'll be the Olympics next tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🥇 Hero status with the normies, inspirational, dude inandout: if it'll make adults I've never met proud of me ihatemyguts: I can't believe I've not checked if I'm disabled enough for the paras, oh my God ihatemyguts: are there enough of us for a basketball team? brainpain: if ONLY my former lover were here brainpain: he's gotta be so tall ihatemyguts: Pining for @fibrofog is productive, yeah? ihatemyguts: can pine from my throne just fine brainpain: hands off newbie! I will throw mine brainpain: LOL imagine gotspoons: This group has always had a bias towards too many girls gotspoons: it's almost as if even disabled boys don't wanna talk about their feelings gotspoons: what say you @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously and @inandout? 🤔🤴🤴 inandout: I'd bring friends but you know us CF kids aren't allowed to congregate inandout: and what could I possibly have in common with someone who doesn't share my disease ihatemyguts: So, what is the deal with that, are some of us catching? ihatemyguts: 🐅 parents might have legit concerns inandout: cross infectious but only if you've got what's got me inandout: none of you do so you'll need another reason to turn down hanging out in person tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: my fedora is in the wash? inandout: Fibro could easily say it's my jewishness brainpain: but it's your hunkiness, babe 💪😉 inandout: I'd whistle back at you, Lauren but.... inandout: let's just say you leave me breathless tigerbalm: No names, Zach tigerbalm: it's like a rule ihatemyguts: uh-oh ihatemyguts: if you had a name, Tiger, in theory, like ihatemyguts: 🧐 tigerbalm: Robyn ihatemyguts: Pretty, you others may as well just come out with it now ihatemyguts: even if I'm a massive perv with mad hacking and tracking skills, I pinky promise I won't be able to find you from your given name alone brainpain: give us yours, newbie ihatemyguts: I will, but you'll think I'm giving you a fake one ihatemyguts: it's the gift and curse bestowed upon me at birth, along with potentially dodgy genetics brainpain: your life is 💩 brainpain: but still ihatemyguts: Zelda ihatemyguts: a reference I'm sure you won't get, 'cos you're so 😎 brainpain: I game, the stream was fibros fave hunting ground brainpain: no 💩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Turns out being a nerd is way easy from the relative (barely but beats death, yeah?) comfort of the memory foam tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and Rich 👍 only in name, destitute until my next pittance comes in tigerbalm: she's not supposed to 🎮 -headaches -dizziness -light & sound sensitivity but she's a REBEL brainpain: 👌 MOM maybe I'd love a seizure, what do you know? ihatemyguts: I respect it ihatemyguts: gonna be fondly reminiscing over all those dirty, evil trigger foods when they're resecting my bowel 🖕🚔 brainpain: I had a life before I had a TBI, no offense to 👶 Zach inandout: none taken gotspoons: You're all being bad and I cannot support it 🤐😜 gotspoons: and I'm Rosie, I will just 😴 out on you all the time and yes, it's a fantastic excuse for when you don't wanna respond ihatemyguts: I'll commit all of those to memory in a normal, non-creepy manner ihatemyguts: but whilst I'm allowed to be a n00b, what do you all do for school? brainpain: I was nearly done before 🤯 which got me my pity pass ihatemyguts: pity with a point, at least, alright tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm waiting to start uni, absolutely no thanks to my school and their totally ableist refusal to make reasonable adjustments for accessibility tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but fedora or not, I can be a real arsehole, a loud, persistent one at that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: take my applause now brainpain: 😍 brainpain: take my 💘 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as it's not heavy, m'lady brainpain: you could 💔 brainpain: hold the pieces tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🧠 just isn't poetic enough brainpain: you know me gotspoons: you guys are so cute 🥰 and your broken brain is beautiful, Lauren gotspoons: me though, I'm barely struggling through school still, so many sick days, so much catching up to do 🥱 just thinking about it and therein lies the problem tigerbalm: my parents are trying to get online classes set up but my headteacher is like a million years old inandout: is he a demon? inandout: that was some scary fiction brainpain: or was it? brainpain: cue up those sound effects tigerbalm: if we're gonna talk about hypnosis, I'm out ihatemyguts: that was some serious creepy uncle vibes ihatemyguts: why did he need that level of control ihatemyguts: 🐘 in the room tigerbalm: I have a hippie cousin too, alternative therapy talk is so triggering ihatemyguts: I need a memoir re. your family sitch immediately 😂 ihatemyguts: you get the food purists coming @ me as if I just eat the right thing I'd be 'cured' tigerbalm: I'm working on a screenplay but I've never written a script before, I did find an online class for that easily though ihatemyguts: that's actually 😎 ihatemyguts: soz, Lauren brainpain: she's our lil busy 🐝 brainpain: step your game up, Zachary brainpain: supposed to be you, bro inandout: let Robbie have it, she has more sick days to fill up ihatemyguts: always have your 🥇 inandout: I can pin it on like a star when I got to school with the masses inandout: let them know I'm not what normal looks like ihatemyguts: only the others like you need to have the scoop on that though ihatemyguts: really fucks with the segregation in a big way inandout: “I feel like someone breathed new air into my lungs. I am not Abnegation. I am not Dauntless. I am Divergent.” ihatemyguts: Tattoo idea inandout: if I make it to 18, I'll do it ihatemyguts: how long you given yourself there? inandout: I turned 14 in may, the party was a full blown rager inandout: 🏥🎂 ihatemyguts: you like ruining events too? ihatemyguts: what a coincidence, don't just do family holidays inandout: if I can't blow up 🎈 nobody can ihatemyguts: 🥳 smug bastard inandout: I find that party blower offensive inandout: Rosie! That's a strike for the new girl ihatemyguts: Come to me when it's as culturally iconic as 💩 ihatemyguts: my next (first) tattoo right there inandout: how long are you waiting for that masterpiece? ihatemyguts: was 14 in March ihatemyguts: if we both make it, it's a date inandout: cool inandout: way I'm going that'll be my first one brainpain: now I feel like a pervy OLD uncle brainpain: thank you 👶s ihatemyguts: Lemme guess? ihatemyguts: I'm thinking 19 brainpain: spooky brainpain: I'm an Aquarius if anyone cares ihatemyguts: our 🌟s aligning might be too close to alternative for comfort tigerbalm: I'm a cancer, which is awkward tigerbalm: not my diagnosis ihatemyguts: at least it's memorable ihatemyguts: literally tacked on at the end, who's remembering 🎣 tigerbalm: I hope my 16th will be, for the right reasons tigerbalm: I've still got 5 months left to plan ihatemyguts: 🤞🤞🤞 tigerbalm: I'll add your name, the others know they're all invited ihatemyguts: that's so nice ihatemyguts: considering this introduction has given away nothing if not I am a terrible guest brainpain: another chat about online safety, Robyn, REALLY? 😏 brainpain: did my failed romance teach you nothing? ihatemyguts: if that isn't a challenge to send a photo and make you feel really weird ihatemyguts: why are we anon anyway, to stop us uprising? ihatemyguts: metaphorically if not literally, no offense xoxo brainpain: f it brainpain: I need you all to sign up to my stream to pay my bills anyways brainpain: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: @fibrofog, I get it brainpain: don't flock to tell me how sexy I am, that'd make it weird brainpain: plus, I know tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I picked an awkward time to check back in tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Rosie falls asleep and anarchy reigns? tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm proud brainpain: 💔 YOU haven't showered me with compliments, but hey tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: if I made it that easy you'd never be 💘 brainpain: 😩 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: to save any of the rest of you following such a hard act tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [pic] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: it's old but still a rough estimation of what I look like on a good day brainpain: 😍 brainpain: You're up, girl Z ihatemyguts: if you're all good looking though, I'm so mad ihatemyguts: [a selfie] ihatemyguts: 💩 inandout: I'm not good looking, I'll go next inandout: besides, Robbie would never bow to peer pressure and Rosie is out for the count inandout: [a selfie] tigerbalm: I am 🙀 tigerbalm: but everyone else has tigerbalm: [the shyest selfie of all time] ihatemyguts: 😻😻😻 ihatemyguts: seriously ihatemyguts: representation done us dirty on so many levels now ihatemyguts: when we're not invisible, why we not so gorgeous tigerbalm: there should be a blushing 😸 tigerbalm: that's the representation I need ihatemyguts: Call me out all you need but I was convinced this whole thing would be a lot more tragic than it has been inandout: tragic Tuesdays are a thing brainpain: no they are f-ing not brainpain: Zachary, just cos the new girl's in your age bracket + shares your 1st initial brainpain: she is not corruptible to you inandout: check us on our date, Lauren inandout: but watch your profanity brainpain: watch me give you a DIY lung transplant gotspoons: Excuse me gotspoons: what is going on here brainpain: nothing babe, it's all a dream gotspoons: 😖 gotspoons: if it was, none of you would be here gotspoons: sorry to say brainpain: we love you too brainpain: hit us with that sleepy selfie gotspoons: You know we aren't meant to give out personal info in the public forum gotspoons: if you choose to privately, that's okay though gotspoons: also I don't look any better for my shower now 🥴🤫 brainpain: you're a hottie gotspoons: 😘 gotspoons: well, my blog IS going to be featured on [insert disability awareness news moment] next month, so it isn't as if you couldn't find 🖼 if you really wanted gotspoons: [photo] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Congrats, Ro tigerbalm: a genuine 👏👏👏 tigerbalm: I love your blog gotspoons: Ty, ty 🙇 gotspoons: it's the same as my username, if you wanna check it out, newbie 😄 brainpain: but have you been on the news for being the victim of a violent crime? 😏 just me LOL inandout: Lauren's trading on her fame again inandout: let Rosie have her moment ihatemyguts: pass along all relevant info and I'll 🤓 right up brainpain: @inandout 🍒😃💩👅 brainpain: enjoy the profanity, bro inandout: today's highlight tigerbalm: Zelda could take offence at that, Zach tigerbalm: I think it was nice to meet her ihatemyguts: Not at all ihatemyguts: though it's cultural appropriation to use that emoji without my permission, I'll let it slide 😉 ihatemyguts: nice meeting you all too tigerbalm: I really am gonna have to tell you about my family now ihatemyguts: All I wanted, tbh tigerbalm: everyone else knows this but my parents are white Americans & they adopted me and my brothers who are Native and African American respectively tigerbalm: & you saw me, the Korean girl so ihatemyguts: Ohh tigerbalm: it sounds like a show that should air on ABC family, right? tigerbalm: hella awkward ihatemyguts: I'm brainstorming (p. sure we're not meant to say that, soz) titles rn ihatemyguts: inappropriate question alert, verbal smackdowns appreciated if needed ihatemyguts: did they adopt you knowing you were disabled or is that a new development? tigerbalm: I was gonna call it building bridges but we can't really say that the USA has wronged Korea like the other nations tigerbalm: though they did adopt me knowing so maybe it still works 😄 ihatemyguts: it's got legs tigerbalm: 🦿 ihatemyguts: Ugh, must dash ihatemyguts: 🩸💉s tigerbalm: best of luck ihatemyguts: 💕 total pro by now 💪 brainpain: if I don't 👀 you on my stream I'll 🔎 you here in the forums inandout: a threatening goodbye inandout: can't compete tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👋 Hope to see you back here, Zelda tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though you wouldn't be the first person to 👻 after dropping in, so no pressure, @Lauren gotspoons: but actually, we're always here, some of us more than others, but you'll always find someone to chat to about the things you can't with non-spoonies ihatemyguts: ✌

[thankyouforthev3n0m]

Aye, it's DubDaddy on the track

Not a rapper, but I thought I'd have a crack

Another song, another bar, another stack

We keep coming back now we're picking up the slack

Get laid, get paid, gatorade

Trigger treats sweet but can't beat the blade

It's Halloween bitch it's time to get made

You better lock up or you're gonna get slayed

Aye the boys are comin in

Got lit last night on the cherry gin

Smokin gas, eating ass, now committing sin

We going large like Amy Schumer's second chin

Hey everybody my name is JoshDub

When I don't do crime I talk shit at the club

I like corona no lime and having a tug

I get my bread no crust cause you know I'm a thug

It's Halloween, my girl cook and clean

Doing flips in the sheets, call that trick and treat

In the back of a Bentley and we got on rings

Riding in the streets shouting scary things

The Boys in town and we hunting clowns

Couple Kings with a couple crowns (dank memes)

Scaring kids while we're blowing clouds

It's Mully in the back and your bitch is getting ploughed

It's spooky and cold on this dreadful night

But we got some beauties in our sight

We love the shadows, and fear the light

But we'll steal your girl with one quick bite

On Halloween you can hear many sounds

Some screaming, some crying in the background

But if I see some kind of creepy clown

Oh you better believe it's going down

All the witches they be on me, with glee

When I walk up in a room its a party

Got no reflection but there's one thing you can see

All competition running scared as they should be

Never giving out our secrets I'm like (hush hush)

Wiping away all the haters like a (brush brush)

We be stealing all your candy in a (rush rush)

Dropping songs and videos that always (crush crush)

Got these demons in my head overwhelming me with fear and dread

(Dread dread dread)

Screaming in my bed, keep me grinding till I'm dead

(Dead dead dead)

Spirits in my mind come to visit me from time to time

(Time time time)

People say I'm sick but I swear to God I'm fine

(I'm fine, I'm fine)

Trick or Treat, excuse me what the fuck is this?

Candy corn, Bit O Honey, one Hershey Kiss

Que no sabes que me dicen el Mexorcist

If you don't know who I am, then I'll tell you what it is

Got a blanket to protect me and a wooden cross

I sprinkle holy water to show demons who's boss

I make videos to scare all the kiddos

And I'll exorcise your Tia with a bag of hot Cheetos

I shook Freddy Kruger's hand

Grow harder than the grudge

Make Pennywise float too

And give Huggy Wuggy a hug

I got good at hide and seek

You can always ask the fed

I put poison in your goat

Now that chupacabras dead

I live in the States, born in Monterey

Got a gringa by my side

She can cook some frijoles

I cross the border and la migra said

'hey, come on down but you just can't stay'

Running and hiding and walking and fighting

You don't got the papers to even be trying

To say it was easy then I would be lying

Soy un inmigrante con gran corazón

empeze recojiendo la bazura de tu escalon

Y ahora ocupo la pantallo de tu abitación

Asta parece yo tomo gasolina.

Te incendió con mi rap eso es pura adrenalina

Mi tierra la extraño nunca olvidare mi casa

Un saludo para todos mis latinos y mi raza

Now give me the Reeses cup bitch

Yada yada yada yada, something bout a square

New meme Juice Box bout to go Blair

Like the Witch, that's the sitch

Halloween night bout to wake up in a ditch.

And I'm stacking up dinero

Got this young man feeling like George Romero

Pick the bone clean always saw it in the tarots

Dig a little deeper boy you almost skipped the marrow

I don't really know

I don't really know

Yada yada

Yada yada

My goldfish took a little holiday

Left me feeling sour like that Minute Maid

One day he said he want to go to outer space

So I made a little rocket outta Gatorade bottles

Catch your grandma at the Walmart

And she gonna catch the fade

I don't really give a fuck

Im just tryna get paid

I'll smoke your grandad too

If he even looks my way

I'll kick your little sister

In her motherfucking face

That's that shit you learn in Florida

When you smoking K2

Hold that shit up in my chest

Boy I'm bout to turn blue

Im might mosey down to Target

Man and buy me that canoe