#panicking really badly. this is your regular life idiot.

[femmefaggot]

last personal post for now because I keep getting more urges to Say Things and i know going around in circles out loud isnt any more productive than doing it privately despite how it may feel better.mosrly in tags

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.14

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

You quickly grab her by the arm and pull her with you as you move over and behind another injector pile thirty or so feet to the left of the one you were currently at. Your mind is racing as fast as your heart as you place one hand over your chest to ground yourself, feeling your heart hammer underneath your fingertips. In your other hand you hold hers - and herself as closely to yourself as you can as a means to not let her wander.

The sound of metal scraping against rock echoes throughout the dome, causing small tremors through the ground and some debris to fall from the top of the ceiling in certain places. You can feel the vibrations in your teeth. What in the everloving FUCK could that be? You’re trying to not panic, and it’s one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do in your life. Of course, the only person that could be indispensable to this entire situation is basically incapacitated and completely useless to you. This is just your fucking luck.

You pull in a deep breath to suck up your nerves, and take a small chance to peek around your makeshift cover and look in the direction of the noise. In the darkness, you scan around the large room looking for any sign of what could have been making those noises so you can assess the.. situation properly. 

You’re not seeing anything out of the ordinary, just piles of injectors, dirt, and an endless sea of murky, sparkly darkness. Spinel is tugging on your arm, so you turn to look back at her to tell her to hold on, seriously are you kidding me right now - and you almost miss the shift of movement on the ceiling. You freeze - heart pounding in your ears, eyes glued to the spot you thought you saw shift. 

You think at first your eyes are playing tricks on you, and that it might be some of the luminescent dust falling off the ceiling.. but a weird shift in light makes you think otherwise. Something.. something large slowly hangs down from the high ceiling of this room until it finally drops to the ground deliberately with a loud rumble that shakes everything around you - and you slap a hand over Spinel’s mouth before anything comes out of it. You’re holding your breath as you watch this.. 

Oh you’re much too terrified to deal with this basically alone. You’re not equipped to deal with this at all, and if there were some kind of higher being out there, watching you? You’d flip them off right now if you had the mental capacity for it. Your brain is having a hard time comprehending what it’s seeing, honestly. Light shimmers again, but there are so many piles of injectors out in the middle and you’re still on the outer edge of this room that you’re having to squint to really make out anything. 

Before you, maybe about fifty or so feet away is a dark shaded, large.. vaguely insect like creature. You don’t think it’s actually insect like at all but it’s the most earth-like thing you could compare it to, considering the only thing you can actually see from it between all the pillars of garbage is a long moving midsection taller than you at full height as it drags itself against the dirt floor. It’s covered and dripping the same exact shit covering the walls, floors, and ceiling - leaving a fresh trail of whatever the hell is all over everything else.

It’s.. it’s fucking huge. 

Your hand is trembling against Spinel, still holding it against her mouth. You do not dare to move. It’s basically physically impossible for you anyway because you’re too frozen in fear. You’re praying it cannot see or sense you or Spinel in your current location.  

You can hear more than see anything as it’s dragging its body in loud thunks coming from what you’re guessing is it’s legs, sending vibrations everywhere. It’s clearly secreting a glowing fluid as it moves to the direction of the pile of injectors that Spinel had made noise from earlier, a mere dozens of feet from you now. You still have no idea what the front half of it even looks like. 

Seconds that feel like minutes go by with the rumbling, and you feel your hand get disgustingly wet.

“Wha-” You pull your hand from her mouth briefly to see that she had licked it - goofy grin covering her face. You school your face into more of a stern expression, wiping some of the fear from it and lean into her space closely.

“Spinel, I need you to shut the fuck up and stay as still as possible.” You whisper harshly, as quietly as you can muster. “Do you understand? Otherwise I’m gonna keep my hand on your mouth.” You look at her, waiting for the gem to nod any kind of acknowledgement before uncovering her mouth again. 

“What is that?” She practically slurs her words as she attempts to whisper, breath tickling your face, eyes brimming with curiosity as she tries to get a better look at that thing.

“I have no idea, but I’m starting to think one of your earlier guesses was right.” You quietly reply, taking a look around the other side and seeing a sharp pincher-like end to a tail drag behind a pile of injectors. What the fuck is this thing.. and how big is it..

You watch it drag itself to where you and Spinel once were, coming around the side of another pile of junk - and it finally exposes the front of itself to where you can see it.

Your stomach drops in fear as your limbs freeze up.

It leans down on these angular, folding legs that are in front of several more, as it’s head tears into the pile, grabbing a large rock from the bottom of it in what your guessing is its mouth. Spinel is utterly quiet as you stand there in terror, and a familiar noise starts to echo out around the walls of this cavernous hell hole.

A whirring noise. One you’ve heard before.

You see its head turn slightly, and you taste bile in your mouth. There are several segmented torso pieces in the front of this thing that’s just got a bunch of legs attached to it, and its long body trails behind it much like a centipede. You cannot count how many white eyes are on its hideous, marred head. Your heart cannot pump blood any faster as it’s all you can hear in your ears besides this horrible noise it’s making. It’s mouth is more hole than anything, as you see mainly teeth as it grinds this large rock down to dust. 

Like a fucking blender.

Your brain stutters to comprehend what it’s seeing. Slowly.. the pieces start to fall together in place. You think you know exactly what happened to all those missing gems on this planet.. You shudder, seeing gem dust on your fucking clothes - and nearly vomit on the spot. Gems! It ATE GEMS. 

Oh, god this could be the end of Spinel too - your mind panicking already - you need to get the FUCK out of here, and FAST. You were scared for your own life, but now you think you have to worry more about your companion beside you.

You don’t know what you were expecting to be down here, on this planet very far from home, but you weren’t expecting a fucking gem eater. Or to walk directly into its lair. 

As if it couldn’t be any more horrifying, it pushes itself back up after it’s finished with what was in it’s mouth - and it extends its torso and head into a height of over ten feet at the crown of its ugly head. Spinel gasps from beside you - you see it whip its face to your direction, rumbling sounding out all around you as its sharp legs turn to move the front of its body.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” You look at the idiot beside you, and grab her by the upper arm as you stumble - dropping your walking stick, dragging her with you as the gem eater turns it's attention to where Spinel made noise from. It starts to scuttle over, its legs moving disgustingly quick as it worms its way across the ground.

You manage to pull Spinel quickly around another pile several yards away, barely able to cut the corner fast enough for it to not see you. Spotting a small opening in the pile, you shove Spinel in the crevice and squeeze in right next to her, injector pieces digging into you from all sides.

Maybe about ten feet from you, you can hear it's legs making loud thuds as it searches the area you were at previously, small vibrations at your feet. You hold your breath and look at Spinel, who's trying her hardest despite her altered state of mind to stick her head out to look at that thing outside where you're hiding. You're pressed up against her, her gem painfully pressing against your sternum - any other time than this, you'd be screaming at this kind of close proximity. 

You hear a weird clicking noise coming from the other side of the injector pile you're in. Spinel's pupils are drawn to yours, and you slam a hand over her mouth before she can kill you both. Your heartbeats are pounding so loudly in your ears, and while your hands shake in fear you do your best to steady them. Panicking will not help you. Panicking might kill you, actually. 

Your inner monologue is mainly filled with YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH DOWN HERE AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW on repeat like a mantra. The clicking is clearly coming from the gem eater, and it's incredibly unsettling to hear the noises accompanied by the sounds of it dragging it's large, horrendous body. You're frozen in fear. Your eyes are locked with Spinel's in a silent plea for her to be as quiet and unmoving as possible.

Thump. Thump. 

The clicking gets closer. The scent of sweet rot wafts around you.

You can't get yourself to stop shaking.

Despite not wanting to die, your mind settles on a single thought, and focuses on it. You.. you need to leave here, alive, and with Spinel. You know you don't really have much, sure Steven and the gems would be upset if you died, if they haven't already given up on finding you by now, but..

You want Spinel, so badly, to be able to experience a regular life. She's been through too much, and hasn't had the chance at any kind of happiness. You don't want her to die with you being the only one to know she existed.

It feels like ages before it moves on, going to check out another pile of who knows what as you hear the clicking move past you.

You let out your held breath in relief, and wait for it to continue to drag itself away.

You have a feeling the gem eater is probably blind. It definitely should have seen you two when you came in - neither of you had been tactful about being seen, and it was on the ceiling.. almost like it was waiting. You hear a couple more clicks, and you’re thinking it has to be some form of echolocation. This should make it easier to get out. In theory.

Once you think it's far away enough, you remove your hand from Spinel's mouth, and lean in close to whisper.

"I need you to be still, right here, for a couple seconds while I scout out an exit. Please just shut up and stand there." You try driving home the point with a stern face towards her. 

She opens her mouth and you slap your hand back over it.

"Spinel. I'm serious. Just don't move for a couple seconds, and I'll be right back." You whisper harshly at her, trying to put on a brave front for yourself. You don't need her sabotaging your plans just because she's stupid right now. She nods at you.

With the gem eater busy searching for you two many yards away, you squeeze out of your hiding place to attempt to find a way out of your potential graveyard. There are piles and piles of injectors as far as your eye can see, the luminescent glow of the cavern just barely emitting enough light for you to make out the outer edges of this room. Off in the far corner, you think you can spot an area that leads to a different tunnel. Which is the only other exit in this room beside where you came from, and you can't even go back to that because that's close to where the gem eater is currently searching for you.

The only thing between you and freedom is just a large, hungry, gem-eating monster currently stalking around for you.

No biggie.

You turn back around to squeeze into the crevice again, nearly scraping half your arm off in the process.

“Alright, here's the plan.” You whisper at her, and she turns her head to focus on you. There’s a bit of drool coming out the side of her mouth, and if there wasn’t the current problem at hand you’d find it almost stupidly endearing. “The only way out is all the way on the other side of this room.” You make sure to point in the direction you’re speaking of so she can kind of understand, but she’s just smiling stupidly at your face instead. “We’re gonna have to sneak over there as quickly as we can, okay? I need you to be able to follow me.”

“Sure thing, doll.” Spinel replies, grin never leaving her face. You stare at her.

“Don’t call me that. Take this seriously.” You say, knowing she’s only like this because she’s not right in the head currently.

“Whyyyy not? You’re pretty.” She blinks at you dumbly.

“Oh my fucking god, I’m covered in filth and dirt.” You sigh, and pray that this goes well. You ignore the heat rising on your face, and pull the ditsy gem by her arm and out of the hiding place you’re both in. 

You take a quick look around you in the murky darkness, peering past all the piles of injectors. You can hear the gem eater move a bit further from you in search, its clicks echoing out in the chamber. You grasp Spinel’s hand in yours and ignore your aching foot to dart out and around another large pile, gem in tow. You hear a couple more prominent clicks, and a crashing sound beyond you a bit further. 

It sounds like it’s pissed it can’t find you, and your heart beats wildly in your chest as you try to calm your anxiety to your best ability. 

Peering around the pile, you see half of it disappear behind another pile much further up, sharp pincer-like tail trailing behind it. Holy fuck, you weren’t expecting the thing to be so large. It’s clearly longer than twenty feet. The sound of it dragging its body along, scraping against your ears plus the clicking is driving you insane in terror. You squeeze Spinel’s hand in yours to calm your nerves, and you feel her squeeze back.

She’s watching you like she’s almost.. studying you. Your eyes are tethered to hers for several moments before you tear them away. You have no idea what’s going on in her head right now, and you don’t have the time to figure it out. 

You tug her hand again, and try to make a bit more forward towards your exit. Your progress is painfully slow, but thankfully the gem eater seems to be distracted by something else. You hear another crash, and more metal scraping against metal before that whirring noise echoes everywhere around you again.

You stumble a bit more further, and get about half way when Spinel stops in her tracks, halting you as well.

“Spinel?” You pull on her arm slightly. “Come on, we’re almost there.” Your whisper comes out panicked and harsh, anxiety bubbling in your gut.

If Spinel hears you, she doesn't respond. Her face is turned alarmingly towards the sounds the gem eater is making.

“Spinel?” Your voice rises slightly in fear. “Spinel, we gotta get the fuck out of here right now. We can’t linger.” 

The gem takes a step forward, pulling you the opposite way of where you’re supposed to be heading. The pungent smell of rot grows thicker and you nearly feel like you’re asphyxiating. You hold back a gag as you pull on your friend's arm. 

“Spinel!” You tug on her arm harder, trying to pull her back as you dig your heels into the ground. “Spinel, STOP.” You shout in alarm, and it echoes out all around you. 

You realize maybe a little too late of what you had just done. There are a couple beats of silence that are followed by rumbling.

“Oh, we need to GO RIGHT NOW.” You say just as you hear it bellow out a roar, sound unlike anything you’ve ever heard before.

You yank on her hand - pulling her sharply to run with you as you make a dash for the exit. Your ankle screams in agony as you put your full weight on it, but you don’t exactly have a choice here. 

Chancing a look behind you, the gem eater screams again before you see it pop in between the piles of injectors. Panic fills you as you run, the ground shaking underneath you. It sounds so close, now. You are screaming inside your head.

You see the opening for the tunnel out in clear view, and there is daylight emitting from it. Hope fills you.

And then off to your left, you see the gem eater catch up to exactly where you’re headed. You almost don't manage to stop in time - Spinel slams into your side with an oof, and it rears its hideous head to your direction, sliding in the dirt to stop in its tracks. It opens its mouth slightly, like a hole - and makes several clicking noises. A blanket of fear washes over you. Several of its eyes blink, head twitching to your exact location.

You realize that if you want out of here, you're probably going to have to fight. You need to think fast. You clear your throat.

“Hey, fuckface,” You say to the gem eater as it extends out its legs, standing to its full height twenty feet from you. It’s over twice as tall as yourself, and utterly terrifying. You pick up a rock at your feet. “Eat this, you piece of shit!” You yell out, sounding so much more braver than you feel - and throw the rock right at the gem eater’s face.

You were trying to aim for its eyes, but the rock goes a little low and smacks against its segmented torso fucking comically, bouncing off like hail on a car.

“Fuck.” You say as you pull Spinel with you and dart to the side, having never let go of her hand, behind another pile of destroyed and eaten injectors. You drag her with you and you attempt to run in any direction far, far away from the thing behind you.

It screams that horrible cry again, and you hear its legs maneuvering towards your direction. Trying to form some half-assed plan in your head, you push Spinel hard - and she stumbles for a moment, looking at you. 

“GO!!!” You yell at her and turn away, hoping you can get the monster to follow you if you split up. 

You get maybe fifteen feet into a sprint while you scream to make noise, and to your absolute horror, the rumbling of the gem eater heads after Spinel and you curse yourself as you make an abrupt turn back her direction and follow it. You do take note of the fact that it seemed to have had a hard time turning, lifting its body to break hard before falling onto its front legs and going after your gem companion. 

You shout for Spinel's attention as she seems immobilized by the monster's pungent smell again.

Luckily due to its inability to turn well, you manage to reach Spinel before it does and you body slam into her, flinging her out of the way and screaming. The beast attempts to turn again, going after Spinel still. 

Thinking quick, albeit a bit stupidly for any kind of distraction - you reach into your pocket, pulling out your blade that you stole from the Spire and lunge for the gem eater’s side. You scream what you feel like is the most pathetic battle cry - it slams its legs down to stop itself as it hears you, crashing headfirst into a giant pile of injectors. You put as much force into your hand as possible, slamming the blade against it’s hard carapace. Your blade doesn’t even chip it's hard outer shell, splitting into pieces as you almost tear your hand open.

“FUCK!!!” You stumble as your ankle gives out and you fall onto your rear. 

It only hesitates a moment, and then scrambles to get itself unstuck from the pile - it makes horrendous noises as injectors fall down, crashing on it and next to it on the ground. You quickly get back up on your feet, using this distraction to get to Spinel as a plan forms in your mind. 

“Be fast and follow me.” You grab for her hand and pull her towards the nearest wall, keeping your exit in sight as you both run for it. 

You hear it cry out behind you, and your anxiety and fear spikes into overdrive. A few more crashes of broken injectors falling, and then you feel the rumble as it slams its legs into the ground, getting free of its prison.

You grab another rock off the ground, and pray that this works. You scream out again to make as much noise as possible, and hurl the rock in the general direction of the gem eater.

Unfortunately your plan works as you look behind you - its head whips to your direction, letting out another ear piercing roar and charges straight for you. Panic wells inside you as it gets closer and closer, gaining speed with each step. The sound of its body dragging on rock hurts your ears, and your foot hurts so bad you’d tear it off if you could. 

Just before it reaches the two of you, you jump out of the way - pulling Spinel with you. Like you had hoped, the thing couldn't turn in time and runs right into the wall with a loud BANG that sends cracks up the side. Quite a few injectors fall from the piles around the room due to the sheer force of it.

You don’t even wait. Gripping Spinel’s hand tightly, you sprint for the exit as fast as your foot will let you. You hear its loud, angry cries, but you do not look back.

The exit is actually an exit out of here, much to your surprise, and horror. This tunnel is maybe only a hundred or so feet, and you can see the kindergarten beyond the end of this. You’re running at this point, foot shooting sharp pains up onto that half of your body. 

Just as you get outside and into the open air, the ground starts to rumble like a quake beneath you.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!” You hear Spinel shout from beside you, gripping your hand like it’s the only thing clinging her to reality. You’re surprised and relieved she came to her senses so quickly. It’s pouring out, and the thunderous roar in your ears is either from the howling wind or from the gem eater. 

“OH THANK GOD YOU’RE BACK,” Your hair is whipping into your face, and you almost slip - Spinel and yourself running about thirty feet outside of the entrance and stopping suddenly when you realize there that giant drop into the ravine below, and you’re a mere three feet from falling to your death altogether. “AND I’LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING LATER.”

Her eyes are boring into yours, full of bewilderment, rain pelting against her face. “We’re in the kindergarten? What’s-” 

There’s a roar, and you grasp Spinel’s arm to steady yourself from the heavy tremors under your feet. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.” She says, in full blown panic as she whips her face to where the gem eater is coming from.

“I DON’T KNOW BUT WE CAN’T OUTRUN IT.” You yell, mind working in overdrive. It clearly only wants Spinel. You take one last glance at the cliff drop behind you.

You see it finally coming out of it’s entrance, disgusting legs and long body dragging behind it. The quakes it’s causing is straight up causing rocks to fall all around you, several smashing down a few feet off to your side.

“Y/N, WE NEED TO GO!” Spinel yanks on your arm in terror.

“WAIT.” You say, holding your ground more so than you’ve ever done in your life. You only have one shot at this.

The gem eater is twenty feet away. Your heart is pounding. Spinel looks at you in fear, ready to bolt.

“Y/N-”

You grab her by the face and kiss her, and time stops for a brief second. Her lips are cold from the rain.

And then with the rest of your strength, you slam your hands on her chest and shove her away - roaring loud in your ears - and you jump the opposite way with a twist of your ankle. 

It all happens too fast as something slams into your leg, and you’re airborne for a second before your body slams back onto the sopping wet ground, and then you’re sliding. 

The gem eater shrieks along all the tremors, sounds of rock and metal clashing and colliding as it tries to stop itself from going off the cliff - you grasp the muddy soil all around you, failing to make a purchase on anything. You see its tail whip around out of the corner of your eye.

Spinel yells out for you.

Suddenly feeling white hot pain piercing your stomach, and then you’re being torn off the ground. You’re airborne again for just a second when you feel something grabbing your arm - the velocity of your fall nearly yanking your arm out of its socket. You hear the gem eater’s cries as it plummets below, heartbeats pounding in your eardrums.

Spinel pulls you back from what would be a long fall, and she’s screaming at you in a frenzy, gripping both of your upper arms - but all you’re hearing is white noise. 

You choke out a laugh of hysteria, and attempt to shrug free from her grasp to stand on your own. In your haze of adrenaline, you put your full weight on your foot - and nearly collapse, planting one of your hands on her for support. Your eyes glance down and see red. Too much red - you see blood pouring out of a plate-sized wound in your stomach and feel a wave of nausea immediately.

“-ELIEVE YOU’D DO THAT, Y/N, WHAT WERE YOU EVEN THINKING, THROWING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY WHEN I-” She stops herself and looks down to your wound, and the color drains from her face instantly. “Y/N-”

“Uh.” You interrupt her, swallowing to attempt to stop yourself from vomiting. “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not you idiot,” You can see the fear in her eyes. “There’s so much blood here and I don't know what to do, you humans are so fragile-”

“Spinel, I just gotta stop the bleeding, shhhh.” You say, putting a hand over your bloody side, the warm blood oozing against your fingers. Your brain is working too hard in overdrive and you’re trying to not panic to make everything worse.

“STOP THE BLEEDI- Y/N, how exactly are we going to do that!?” She exclaims, shaking fists on her head like she’s about to tear her hair out. “YOU’RE LOSING SO MUCH BLOOD ALREADY!”

“I, uh,” You stumble with your words, feeling woozy. You need to do something - anything to stop the bleeding. You suddenly remember all that unused cloth up on the Spire. “I think I can make a staunch with those supplies from the Spire.”

“You THINK?!”

“Do you have any better ideas!?” You shield your eyes from the rain, even if you’re already fucking soaked. It’s pelting against you both.

“No,” She replies frettingly, bits of water soaked hair sticking to her face. “I’m fuckin’ useless here.”

“You’re going to have to carry me. I can’t walk on this leg,” You reply. Spinel bends down enough so she can easily give you a piggyback, and you hold on to her with a single arm - other hand gripping your wound, trying to keep any kind of pressure there at this point. You’ve only got your shirt sleeve to help. She holds you tightly, glancing at you like you’re made of glass and that she’s going to be the one to somehow break you.

“I’m gonna be as fast as I can okay?” She says, her worried, urgent tone playing at your heart pathetically. All you can do is nod. “We’ll talk about what happened back there later.”

You’re hoping she means the shit with the gem eater, and not that kiss back there as she takes off at a decent pace. The howling of the winds whip around you nearly deafeningly, and you can hear Spinel ream into you under her breath. Your brain wants to focus more on what happened with that kiss and not the increasingly worrying wound in your side.

She nearly slips on a rock - struggling to hold you for a moment, and you groan in agony as it jostles you. She cranes her neck to look at you in stressed worry.

“Y/N, I’m sorry-” 

“Just keep going.” You cut her off, head spinning. The blood loss is making you queasy.

She keeps going, and within a minute or two you’re out of the kindergarten, and you can see the Spire about a mile or two away. No biggie, it ain’t that far, you’re sure you can make it.

The terrain of the jungle is much rougher on you, and every step bumps you enough to make blood flow more freely. You think if you go on like this much longer you’ll bleed out before you get to the Spire.

“Spinel,” You clear your throat. She stops in place, and looks right at you.

“Yeah?” You hate seeing her face the way it looks right now.

“You’re going to have to go get the supplies for me.”

“What?” She replies in alarm, eyes wide. “Without you?!”

“Yeah. I’m bleeding too much to keep going like this.” You say as the rain pours against you at an angle with the wind. You’re in so much pain that you don’t even feel half of it anymore. She studies your face for a moment.

“Okay.” She says with a frown after a few seconds, like that was the most difficult decision she could ever make. “I’ll be so fast you won’t even realize I’m gone.”

“Get the cloth, needle, and thread up on that one floor I showed you. You know, the stuff in the crates.” You say, with a fair amount of difficulty.

“I can’t just set you down here.” She looks around anxiously, distress clear in her posture. You look around you for a moment, and then spot a little hill with a single tree on the peak next to a clearing a hundred or so feet away.

“Over there, Spinel.” You point, and she tightens her hold on your legs. She makes quick, painless work of getting you over there, and clears a spot against the trunk of the tree to set you down against.

Your back hits the tree, and another wave of pain flows over you enough to affect your face, and Spinel sees it clearly. You keep your hand on your injury, flares of pain lighting up your nerves.

“Don’t move. I’ll be back before you know it.” She says, gently, leaning into your space. 

“You really think I’m gonna just get up and waltz around?” You reply jokingly, and Spinel gives you an anxious look.

“Stupid, you know I’m just saying..”

“I know.” You cough, and it hurts you. You bite your tongue to deal with the worst of the pain. She’s looking at you like she doesn’t know what to do.

“I really don’t want to just leave you here.” She says shakily, looking at how much you’re covered in your own blood. 

“Well, it’s either that or you fly us over there.” You reply with a tinge of sarcasticness.

“You’re still sassing me even now, I can’t believe you.” You see the corner of her lip turn, but the rest of her face still looks grim.

“It’s in my blood.” You state.

She gives you a long look, the lines under her eyes strikingly bold, hair dripping with water. There are a series of emotions that pass through her face like she’s working up how to say something, and her face gets serious. 

“Um.. listen." 

“Whatever you’re going to say, save it for when you get back.” You interrupt her, and her eyes widen a bit.

“But-”

“Save it. I’ll see you again soon, I promise.” You say, and her eyes waver between yours uncertainly.

“Okay.” She says, eyes never leaving yours. She reaches out to give your hand a reassuring squeeze, and then turns away to leave.

She gets to the bottom of the hill and looks back at you for another moment, posture hesitant. And then after several seconds of what looks like her trying to convince herself, she turns and sprints away faster than you’ve ever seen her move.

You watch her run to the Spire long enough to see her disappear into the treeline completely, and then you really feel like you’re alone.

The tree you’re leaning against only kind of shelters you from the rain, as if that matters. Looking up, you can see some of the rain clouds clearing and it seems to be a late afternoon. You’re trying your best to remain conscious, but if you’re going to be honest with yourself you’re not sure how much longer you can. You’ve lost way too much blood.

You.. you’re pretty sure you’re going to bleed out before Spinel gets back at this rate, you’re starting to feel sleepy and your eyes are getting heavy. 

Fuck. You never planned on telling her your feelings, but you wish you could’ve told her that she has worth far beyond her status as a gem. And that being stranded here for the last month on this planet might have sucked, but you were grateful that you met her regardless.

Minutes pass slowly as you blink in and out of consciousness. The wind dies down to nearly nothing, and the rain is now just a mist. It’s quiet all around you. Peaceful, even. 

You don’t know how long it’s been since she left. You hear trees rustling, and then a noise in the sky.

You blink your heavy eyelids, and when you open them again, you see something pink hovering in the sky that looks vaguely familiar. You can barely squint your eyes.

Your eyes slide close no matter how hard you try to keep them open, consciousness fading. You hear something land in the clearing next to your hill, a hundred or so yards away. 

It feels less painful, now. Your body. There’s a weightlessness to it. Almost like you’re floating.

You hear voices. Frantic voices. 

You can’t seem to grasp why the voices are familiar as they get closer. You can’t muster the strength to open your eyes. 

You’re so tired.

The voices get louder, and there’s shouting you can’t exactly comprehend before you feel multiple hands on your body. Rushed, anxious words, and crying.

You’re being moved, carefully and quickly, and you feel like you have no strength over your body anymore.

You hear doors of a ship open, and the only thing you can think of in the last bits of your fading consciousness is Spinel.

[blu-joons]

BTS Reaction: Helping Them Dye Their Hair

Jin:

You smiled as the red hair dye trickled down his hair as you gently massaged it into his hair, making sure you covered all of it.

Jin chuckled, comforted by the feeling of your hands running along the top of his head. “How does that feel?” You asked, wanting to check on him.

“Really good, I’m super excited to see how it looks when it’s done,” he replied, “although the colour of this bathtub is concerning me slightly.”

You looked down noticing the dark red stains along the bath. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone was murdering you,” you teased, knowing how panicked he’d become.

“Please don’t murder me,” he chuckled, feeling you poke the top of his head lightly with your finger. “I’ve got so much to live for.”

“I’ll spare you this once,” you continued to tease him, “only because I’m so excited to see how handsome you look with red hair.”

“Aren’t you just so kind?”

“I try,” you smiled, dropping the bottle in the bath. “Sorted, now we just leave it for a few moments and let the magic happen.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Yoongi:

His shrieks were what caught your attention, quickly turning the bath tap off, dropping the jug you held in your hand.

You peered down, noticing how tightly he had his eyes shut. “Did some water go in your eye?” You cooed, placing your hand on the small of his back.

“It hurts!” He cried out, whilst you grabbed his towel, patting away at his face. “Why couldn’t you be more careful?”

You chuckled, shaking your head at him. “Why can’t you stop being such a big baby? It’s only a bit of water Yoongi, it’s not going to hurt you.”

“I don’t trust you to rinse my hair out anymore,” he replied, rubbing at his eyes until he felt comfortable enough to open them again.

“Okay, so who is going to finish rinsing this blue hair dye out before you begin to look like a messy blob of paint?” You stepped away, but your words hit him.

“Fine, but please just be careful, I need my eyes to do a lot of things.”

You nodded, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll look after you baby, I promise, no more accidents.”

“Alright, I’m trusting you.”

Hoseok:

Just the noise of your hairdryer was enough to make Hobi jump. You fell back in laugher, clutching at your stomach whilst he sat embarrassed on your bed.

Once you’d composed yourself, you flashed him a wide smile before starting to blow dry his hair. “Sorry love, I forgot how jumpy you were.”

“I’m not jumpy, I’m a man,” he protested, trying his hardest to grunt, yet instead a shrill squeal escaped only making you laugh once more.

You grabbed a comb, softly parting it through his freshly dyed pink locks. “I have to say, I think I’ve done quite a grand job Hobi, your hair looks amazing.”

“I haven’t even seen it yet, but just by how it feels I know you’ll have done an amazing job, thank you for doing this.”

“My pleasure, pink hair on you has always been my favourite,” you replied, leaning forwards to press his pouted lips.

“Mayne next time I could dye your hair for a change?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, “I’ve seen how badly Jin’s hair looked when you tried to dye it that time before you guys got big.”

“I’ve practiced since then, I promise, you won’t regret it.”

Namjoon:

The two of you stood in the aisle of the shop, hand in hand whilst Namjoon struggled to decide which colour dye he wanted to try this time,

He could tell you were beginning to get impatient, turning to you for help. “If I had to ask you what your favourite colour hair on me was, what would you say?”

“Honestly, I always thought you suited the silver colour,” you smiled, quickly pointing out the box of silver hair dye you’d had your eye on.

Namjoon nodded, yet still couldn’t bring himself to pick the bottle up. “Are you just saying that because you know I like silver?”

“No. Every time I saw a picture of you when you had silver hair, I loved it, it really suits you, I wouldn’t lie.” He nodded, trusting your opinion more than anyone else’s in the world.

“Just buy it,” you urged, picking the box up for him, tossing it in the basket. “I’ll even do it for you if you really want me to.”

“Would you actually? It would make life easier if someone else did it for me?”

“I will, as long as you promise we can leave now, we’ve already been stood here half an hour,” you sighed, smirking as he pulled you to the checkout.

“I’m so excited, let’s go home straight away!”

Jimin:

The job was nearly done, now all you had to do was crimp the front of Jimin’s new platinum coloured hair, as he observed you in the mirror.

He wanted it to be perfect, only you knew exactly how he liked it. “So, have you enjoyed having your hair dyed by me?” You asked.

“I have actually. I think it could become quite a regular thing, I’m really impressed with it,” he smiled checking himself out in the mirror.

You nodded, glancing across at his reflection. “Do you think next time you could be less demanding? I’ve never met someone so bossy when it comes to hair colouring?”

“Was I really that bad?” He chuckled.

“I lost count of the number of times you tried to repeat the instructions on the bottle, as if I can’t read.” He blushed, looking to the floor as you finished crimping his hair.

“I’m sorry, next time I’ll be more patient and understanding. I was just trying to help you out that’s all.” You nodded, kissing his lips softly.

“Well lucky for you handsome, we’re done.” You grabbed the mirror so he could get a better look. “What do you think?”

“It looks amazing, you’ve done an amazing job jagi.”

Taehyung:

He smiled with relief when he saw the new perfect red locks he had on top of his head. There were no dye stains on his skin, and each strand of hair was shaded the exact same.

He turned back around to face you, pulling you tightly into him. “Thank you so much, I look amazing, this is easily my favourite ever look I’ve had.”

“I think you look great whatever colour you have,” you smiled, running your hand through his hair. “But I have to say, I have done a pretty good job.”

Taehyung nodded, pecking your lips. “I don’t think I ever want anyone else to dye my hair again, this could be your calling jagi.”

“Don’t you have professional hairdressers on tour? Surely they could do a much better job?” He shrugged, shaking his head vigorously.

“Not like this, they don’t care how messy they make it, but this,” he pointed to the top of his head, “this is absolutely perfect.”

“I’m so pleased you like it Taehyung.”

“I can’t wait to show it off in our interview tomorrow,” he grinned, unable to take his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror.

“You’ll easily be the best-looking member of BTS.”

Jungkook:

You found Jungkook already sat in the bathroom as you grabbed the bottle of hair dye, placing the gloves over your hands.

He’d opted for a lighter brown colour for the upcoming tour. “So, how many people’s have you dyed before?”

“None, but don’t worry you’re in safe hands,” you assured him, reading through the label on the bottle to check what you were doing.

Jungkook nodded, but he wasn’t too sure. “I’m more than happy to go to a salon and get it done if you’re unsure.”

“Nonsense, how hard can it be?” He became more apprehensive as you came closer, tipping some of the dye out onto your hands.

“Jagi, I’m trusting you; I cannot go on tour looking like an idiot because you couldn’t dye my hair properly,” he sighed, sitting still for you.

“Jungkook, when have I let you down before? It’s all going to be fine.”

“Just be careful, please, the last thing I need is the boys teasing me.” You nodded, placing the first bit of dye to the top of his head.

“Stop worrying Kookie, I’ll look after you, always.”

---

Masterlist

[logophilism]

Fractured Starlight - Part 3

@grishaversebigbang

Jesper! He basically fails on a date-not-date and learns a piece of information vital to the plot to SoC. Yeah. 

My gang:

Corporalki: @aragentum, @rebooka17

Materialki: @abaduchi, @paphns, @catpidgeon, @wavesofinkdrops, @erlaszx

@catpidgeon made a fanart inspired by this chapter -- go check it out!

Fic summary: A series of perspectives following the crows pre-SoC and post-CK. Canon compliant.

Word Count: 1716

--------

Part 3: Jesper

  It started with an itch. It always did. The itch in his fingers, the restless energy that he tried to ignore, building, bubbling up inside him until he couldn’t anymore. And he knew, he knew how to satisfy that urge, that itch, that tingling just under his skin. He knew how the cards would feel sliding against each other in his hand, and how the Makker’s Wheel would click as it spun -- oh, that beautiful, beautiful sound. 

  And he also knew, just about, that he’d likely lose. He wasn’t stupid. He knew he was almost broke, that he’d soon be borrowing money for food, and that he still owed a couple hundred kruge to the last gambling hall he’d been to.

  But he realized, as he found himself walking down the streets of the East Stave and searching out a high-stakes den, that he couldn’t bring himself to care. Debts he would worry about later, and for now, all there was would be the cards in his hands and the taste of risk on his tongue. And if it was nearly morning and there was nobody with him, well, as he stood in the shadows of the alleyway outside one of the gambling halls, he was very, very grateful.

  There was a Grisha standing outside Morpheus’ Palace. 

  He almost stumbled when he saw her, dressed in a deep blue kefta trimmed with the intricate grey embroidery of a Squallor. She was tall, with hair, done up in an elaborate bun, just blonde enough to be Fjerdan. Pretty too, in an angular sort of way, her neck thin and her face sharp. 

  There was a silver brooch pinned to the kefta, just above her breast, inlaid with crystals that shimmered in the faint light of the building. The symbol of an--

  Amplifier.

  Shit.

  Jesper drew in a breath. The woman stiffened, turned her gaze to the alley he stood in. She read him in a glance.

  Oh, shit.

  He tried to turn, run, but the Grisha’s eyes had locked onto his, trapped him in such an intense glare that all he could do was stumble a few helpless steps back as she started to approach, hand on hip, eyes like shards of ice.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but Jesper cut in first.

  “Hi, um, just passing through.” He almost winced. There were no other places in the region open at such an hour. He blustered on anyways, fixing an awkward smile to his face. “You know, I wouldn’t mind some directions to the nearest, um, restroom.”

  A hand shot out and fingers clasped around his wrist. He flinched. The hand tightened.

  “Are you really stupid enough to fabrikate inside a gambling hall?”

  It should’ve been easy to reach for the pistol he carried on him. Should’ve. Not that it would’ve been much use anyways.

  “Well, ah,” his throat was dry, his heart pounding, “I swear I wasn’t really planning on doing that.”

  “And why would I trust you?” Her voice was sharper than her face.

  “Because I,” he shrank back as far as her grip would allow, “Look trustworthy?”

  An elegantly arched brow, a slight turn of her head as if to indicate here? Trustworthy, here?

  She had a point. Unfortunately, that meant he didn’t. “Because I--” his palms were sweating, “I can’t fabrikate to save my life?”

  One elegant eyebrow rose. “You’re a fabrikator, of course you can fabrikate.”

  A swell of some odd feeling inside him. A tingling heat on his cheeks. “I’m not-- I wasn’t trained.”

  Her eyes searched his face for a long moment before her grip loosened. Jesper snatched his hand back, rubbing his wrist with his other hand. Damn, the woman’s grip was strong.

  It was then that a voice called out behind her, and she stiffened. Jesper’s hand flew to the pistol at his hip, but the Squallor raised a pale hand to stop him.

  “I still don’t believe you, but I can’t stay and talk to you. Noon, Kooperom.” It wasn’t even a question.

  Jesper, still trying to quell the beating of his heart as she walked away, forced a smile across his face. “Who’d refuse a pretty girl like you?”

  It was almost worth the gust of wind slamming him into the wall.

  His back still ached as he made his way to the Kooperom late that morning. He’d managed to dig up his tweed jacket from the university and a passable pair of black shoes that would probably fall apart before the end of the day, given how much he was shuffling and fidgeting. He adjusted the jacket.

  He glanced at the clock tower.

  He adjusted his jacket again.

  Then, considerably past twelve, he strode into the Kooperom with a posture of forced relaxation. Then, he saw her. 

  Her hair was done in a simple braid, her clothes plain and somewhat bland. When she glanced up at him, she merely glanced at the chair opposite her before turning back to her food with an entirely unimpressed expression on her face.

  He gulped.

  His heart thumping up in his throat, he strode over to the empty seat, sliding into it and draping a long arm over the back of it. He felt strange doing so, almost as if he was plunging into something incredibly dangerous, but, well, who said he was cautious?

  “Why, hello--”

  “Stop, shut up,” She glanced over at him, “And stop twitching. You’re late.”

  “Fashionably, of course,” Jesper tried for a smile.

  She ignored him. “What I want to know is,” she leaned back in her chair, “Why haven’t I heard of you?”

  He blinked. “Come again?”

  “Apart from the Council of Tides, the Grisha in Ketterdam know each other, or at least know of each other. Even the ones who don’t know of the rest of us are watched, and yet the only Zemeni fabrikator I know of is an old woman.”

  Jesper blinked. His mouth fell open slightly, mouthing the beginning of something, but his thoughts had frozen.

  “Now, that normally wouldn’t mean much, but last night you said you weren’t trained to use your powers. But with your power and any kind of regular usage, you’d be able to cheat in a gambling hall. And that made me think. If you were sincere, that means you don’t use your powers very much, do you?”

  “Stop,” he finally managed to croak, his voice faint and his head spinning with how surreal the conversation was becoming. He knew on some level he was Grisha -- Zowa, whatever -- obviously, but to hear it spoken of so matter-of-factly with a stranger he’d met not even a day before in broad daylight in the middle of the Barrel… “Should we even be talking about this here?”

  She gave him a small smile. “I’m a Squallor. They’ll hear what I want them to hear.”

  Oh. Oh. He blinked. “Well, I-- um, no, I don’t.”

  She looked at him seriously, her soup all but forgotten. “You have to know that’s not good for you.”

  He looked at her blankly.

  She sighed. “Look, I’m trying to help you. Grisha to grisha. What I’m offering is connections. You wouldn’t have to hide your powers so much if you had others looking out for you.”

  And something clicked inside of him, and he started panicking. “No,” he shook his head, wringing his hands. Nobody can know. “No, don’t tell anyone.” His voice was wavering slightly. 

  The woman’s face softened. “Are you sure?”

  “Please.”

  She looked at him, then offered a single-shouldered shrug. “You can always change your mind.”

  There was a long silence in which the Squallor turned back to her soup. Jesper adjusted his jacket. 

  “Well then,” he started, lounging backwards. His voice almost — but only almost — cracked, “You’re not married, are you?”

  His chair tipped over.

  The conversation carried on like that for a while, with him flirting and failing and being incredibly charming. Then it changed. He didn’t know when he’d started pleading with her, when he’d started rambling, wringing his hands, begging. He knew he looked pathetic, probably, but he was desperate enough to not care.

  “Please, tell me.”

  He hadn’t even gotten around to asking her name. 

  “Please?”

  Maybe it was when she’d hesitated when he’d asked after gambling halls without Amplifiers. Maybe it was when she’d turned him down for the third time and he’d finally accepted that. Maybe it was when she’d refused to answer when he asked her a direct question.

  “Pretty please?”

  And all she was doing was eating and ignoring him. She who knew something about hiding from Amplifiers. She who might know, being an Amplifier herself.

  “Pretty pretty please?”

  “Stop,” she said, her spoon clattering against the side of her bowl. Her expression was conflicted. “You know I shouldn’t tell you.”

  “But you will?”  

  She ignored him. “I have to go,” she said abruptly. Then, placing both hands on the table, she stood up. Before Jesper had even half risen out of his seat, a cry on his lips, the door had closed behind her.

  Well, damn. 

  His heart tightened inside his chest, and a cold shame flushed through him. He could give up any hope of an answer now. He’d scared off his date, or acquaintance, or possible future friend, or whatever she was. Or annoyed the hell out of her, if the speed at which she left was any indication. That was a new low, even for him -- Had he really been that bad?

  He sat back down slowly, looking at her empty dishes, then at the small bowl of soup he’d ordered that he hadn’t even finished.

  Damn.

  He hoped, vaguely, she wouldn’t tell anyone he was a fabrikator. Then he shook himself. He’d probably pissed her off, badly, and she had no obligation to do anything he asked. A knot tied itself in his stomach.

  He really was an idiot, wasn’t he?

  His face fell into his hands, but his gaze wandered, and he noticed the folded napkin under one of her plates. Huh. That was strange. The Kooperom didn’t provide napkins. He stared at it for a while, then reached forward and tugged it out, unfolding it. He looked at it in confusion.

  Written across it in a slanting scrawl was one word. 

  Paraffin.

--------

A/N: The flow’s not entirely right, but it was getting worse the more I edited it. So, feedback?

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

Words On My Skin (Part 10)

Bucky Barnes x Reader Soulmate AU

A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me LOL I am a really slow writer! I’ve just been really busy, lately! And having technology issues! But I’m really happy with all of your replies! Feedback gives me life and makes me want to keep writing! I love reading your comments!

I made this suuuper long, not only since I’m an asshole who keeps procrastinating… but also because I have no self-control LOL It’s over 5200 words LOL

Warnings: exercise (should be a warning because BLECKH), swearing, barely edited… IDK.

Main Masterlist // WOMS Masterlist

-------------------------------------------

Bucky: I’m sorry. Please talk to me.

Bucky: I know that you talk to me about work stuff, but I miss talking about other things… I’m sorry for pushing you.

Bucky: I just get worried about what happened when we met happening, again. I want you to be able to defend yourself, because I don’t know what I would do if you got hurt… I’m sorry. Please, come see me.

Bucky: What’s wrong? It’s 2am, and I can feel you through the bond… Are you okay?

Bucky: Can I please come see you? Steve said you looked tired, and now I’m worried…

Bucky: I don’t like communicating through FRIDAY. Can we please talk? I miss you.

Bucky: You know, we live a room apart… you can’t avoid me forever… Plus, we kind of work together…

Bucky: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST DIVE INTO AN EMPTY OFFICE TO AVOID STEVE AND I??

Bucky: Okay. I’ll leave you alone… I’m sorry.

Bucky: I’m going on a mission, today. Be safe while I’m gone, please.

God, you were such an asshole…

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him. Not at all. You wanted to talk to him so badly, that it felt as if you had someone squeezing your heart like a goddamn stress ball.

Hell, you were a fucking stress ball.

You missed him…

You missed talking to him, from the stupid shit to the deep, dark secrets.

You’d felt like you’d taken two steps forward and about one thousand steps back. The agreement to start opening up to each other was supposed to include shit like whatever happened in the gun range… but, if you were being honest with yourself, you were completely embarrassed. You’d totally had a friggin’ meltdown in front of him, after the stupid gun safety bullshit, but you weren’t even sure why.

You didn’t understand what you’d seen.

Remembered?

You weren’t even sure if it was a memory.

You’d been avoiding Bucky for an entire week, and yes – embarrassingly enough – you’d panicked and jumped into an empty office to have a mental breakdown about how you had no idea what to say to the man.

Handshake your fear.

That was something you’d always told yourself when times were rough, but it seemed that the words were starting to lose meaning… You said them more, as of late, than you ever have since you first heard the stupid phrase. Ever since the shit with HYDRA began.

You didn’t blame Bucky. Hell no. You couldn’t. He was just as much of a victim of HYDRA as you were.

No.

More than you were.

He’d been a victim for decades.

You didn’t blame him for your meltdown, either. He had nothing to apologize for.

You did.

You were the chicken shit that decided that the best way to deal with what happened was to avoid him, making him feel like shit. Which was not your intent. At all. You merely meant to deal with your shit in privacy… not to have him blaming himself for ‘pushing you’.

How was he supposed to know that you were going to go all melt-down on his ass?

You stared at your cellphone, the gut-wrenching feeling of guilt making tears well up in your eyes – blurring the words. You bit your lip, keeping it from doing that embarrassing wobble it did when you were about to cry. You’d wanted to talk to him, reply to his texts, and go back to having lunch together every day. You were sick of stress-cleaning, and stress-working. You just wanted your soulmate back.

You were a goddamn idiot.

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY’s voice startled you from your moping, “Captain Rogers is out of his meeting and will meet you in the gym.”

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” You replied, after swallowing the lump in your throat, and clearing it. “Tell him I’ll be right down.”

You turned to your computer, putting it back onto its lock screen, and glanced back at your phone.

You sighed, slowly breathing out and closing your eyes. “Just… Handshake your fear, Y/n.”

You: Please, be safe.

Your finger hovered over the ‘send’ button, debating on if you should send the message, or not.

You wanted to tell him to be safe, in person. If he was going on a mission – you’d also found out it was a freaking solo mission – you didn’t want there to be the possibility of him getting hurt, or worse, and you ignoring him and avoiding him. What if it was the last time you ever saw him? What if-

Stop it, Y/n.

Don’t even fucking think that.

“FRIDAY?” You called out, setting the phone down and gathering your items into your gym bag, “Did Bucky leave for his mission, yet?”

“Sargent Barnes left approximately fourteen minutes and thirty five seconds ago.” The AI replied, sending another pang of guilt in your chest.

Shit…

Well, it wasn’t quite what you wanted – or what Bucky deserved – but you needed to say something.

You deleted the message, starting over.

You: We’ll talk when you get back. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. Be safe, please. You still owe me at least 3 dates. I’ll even cook you a juicy lucy as an apology for being an emotional basket case this week.

You didn’t even hesitate to hit the ‘send’ button.

Your phone pinged with a reply before you could even leave your office.

Bucky: Deal. I’ll even try eel, if it means I get to see your face. See you when I get back.

You: You’re going to wish you never even mentioned the eel. HAHA!

Bucky: Shit.

You: Language!

Bucky: Stop hanging out with Steve. He’s rubbing off on you.

Bucky: I have to shut my phone off, now… I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back. See you, soon.

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You sighed in relief, slipping your phone into your gym bag and shutting the door behind you as you made your way to the part of the building where the training facilities were located. Your fingers brushed along the smooth skin of your inner wrist, thankful that you’d taken a step towards apologizing to Bucky for freaking out on him and ignoring him – like a goddamn teenager.

Speaking of teenagers…

“FRIDAY? Can you send a text message to Peter’s phone and remind him that he needs to come to the facility and sign his mission report? Also, tell him that his aunt’s birthday gift is sitting in my office, and he’s got a test on Tuesday.” You spoke into your watch, ignoring the weird looks you always received from the other workers in the building. They weren’t quite over the fact that the Avengers’ assistant ended up being the soulmate of Bucky Barnes. “Also, remind Tony that it’s almost lunchtime, and I put a container of lunch in the fridge in the lab. He also has a meeting with Secretary Ross at 4pm and remind him not to taunt the U.S. Secretary of State. Add a nice ‘please’ at the end, too.”

“Right away, Ms. L/n.” Friday responded through your watch’s speaker.

“Man, you’re bossy.” You hear from behind you, snarky tone making you roll your eyes. “Thank god you’re not my assistant.”

You turned to Caleb, a smirk lifting your lips as you shook your head. “Do tour guides get assistants?��

His hand flew to his chest in mock hurt, dark brows pulling together and mouth agape, “You wound me, L/n. I’ll have you know that I am an actual agent, thank you very much. I’m in the security department… just… manning the front desk. I just needed a job with stable hours, after Claire moved in.”

Caleb was a saint. After the death of his sister and brother-in-law, he took it upon himself to gain custody of his niece, take a desk job, and raise Claire as his own. She was two at the time of the accident that took the life of her parents. She’d been with Caleb ever since.

Five years later, and she was Caleb’s little princess.

“How did your date with Leah go?” You asked, as he followed you towards the training facilities, hands in his pockets.

“Not good.” He sighed, head falling back in annoyance as his footsteps became heavier. “She talked about her ex the whole time. Then, even though I was going to pay for the date since I was the one who asked her to come out with me, she told me she didn’t even bring her wallet. You know why? Because she was expecting me to pay.” He scoffed, trudging along after you as you passed by the regular training room – towards the Avengers’ private training area. “Like… I know I was paying anyways, but how rude.”

“I told you she was a bad seed.” You snorted, scanning your badge to gain access to the facility. “Anyways, I promised Cap that I’d be his work-out buddy, today. He probably wants to go on a run.”

“How the hell are you going to manage that? You hate cardio.”

“I know.” You grimaced, leaning against the opened door. “Anyways, tell Claire I loved the picture she drew me, and it’s up on my wall. Her and I need some girl-talk, soon, so bring her by sometime. Her and I can make glitter slime, again.”

“Please get her to like something other than that slime crap.” He groaned, turning on his heel and heading down the hall. “My kitchen table has glue, shaving cream, little glitter piles, and dawn dish soap all over it. I have more contact solution than I know what to do with. I don’t even wear contacts.”

“Not my fault you can’t say no to her!” You call back with a chuckle, watching as he stuck up his middle finger, before rounding the corner. Your chuckle turned into a loud yelp when you turned around, Steve standing right in front of you with his arms crossed. “Holy shit fuck, Steve. Do I need a little bell for you, too? I seriously bought one for Bucky.”

“Who was that?” Steve asked with a frown, eyebrows pulled together as he stared in the direction that Caleb had gone. “You’re late.”

“That’s my friend, Caleb. He works the security desk.” You raise an eyebrow, scooting by so you could set your bag on the bench and stretch on the mats. You could see Natasha doing a one-on-one training with one of the female agents, teaching her how to use her small stature as an advantage to beat her opponent – who just so happened to be Clint. “Anyways, I’m only five minutes late. I was… texting Bucky.”

His face lit up at the mention of you talking to Bucky, grin stretching across his features. “You mean you’re finally done ignoring him?”

Well fuck, Cap.

You paused, a small lump forming in your stomach. Maybe it was a bad idea, agreeing to work out with Bucky’s best friend when you were being an asshole to him all week. “I wasn’t… ignoring him… I was avoiding him.”

“Why?” Steve frowned, sitting down on the mat across from you, helping you with your stretching. “Straighten your back.”

You followed his advice, trying to loosen up your muscles before they got overworked, and straightening your back. “I was embarrassed.”

“About what?”

“Boy, aren’t you full of a lot of questions, today?” You raise an eyebrow, lump moving from your throat to a knot in your stomach. “Anyways, didn’t Bucky already tell you?”

“Nope.” He shook his head, blonde hair flopping into his eyes. He needed a haircut, as well. You should schedule him one. “He said that it was your business, but he felt bad because he pushed you, or something. I don’t know. He wasn’t very specific.” He pushed your legs together, pushing down gently on your tops of your feet then pushing back up. “All I know is he’s been moping all week, and he didn’t want to say anything about what happened in the gun range.” He motioned for you to lean forward, “Touch your toes.”

You leaned forward, legs flush with the floor and leaning forward to grasp the tips of your shoes – feeling the pull through your hamstrings, “I… didn’t mean to make him think I was ignoring him.” You sighed, but it came out more as a huff as you leaned as far forward as you could. “I was embarrassed about how I reacted, and didn’t know what to say… I’ve never… I’ve never had anyone care so much, before.”

“He does.” Steve heaved himself up, holding out his hands to help you off the ground. “Care, I mean.”

“I know.” You crossed your arms over your chest, watching as he stretched his arms behind his head. “I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” He snorted, leading you over to the weights, handing you the ten pound weights as he grabbed obnoxiously large weights on the other end of the rack. “Strength first, then cardio.”

“Why cardio? Are you punishing me?” You whined, copying his form as you started reps – careful of your shoulder injury. “It’s because I’m an asshole, isn’t it?”

“You’re not an… can you stop calling yourself that?” He huffed, barely breaking a sweat with his annoyingly large weights. “Cardio is good for you. Not only that, but if there’s ever an emergency… you need to run. Fast.”

You bit your lip, staying silent for a few reps. He had a point. Who would’ve thought that being the soulmate of a former assassin turned Avenger would be so freaking dangerous, right? Duh, you idiot. There is literally no job more dangerous than theirs. They had more enemies than you could’ve ever imagined. Also, being their freaking assistant? Have you lost your damn mind? Of course, it’s dangerous, they literally told you from the beginning that there was a chance that your life would be in danger. You should probably get over… whatever the fuck there was to get over… and learn how to properly shoot a... gun.

“Do you-” You paused, gulping down the lump caught in your throat and steadying your breathing, “- Do you think that… Something bad will happen to me? Do you think… Is HYDRA still gunning for my death or capture?”

He stopped his reps, sitting down on the bench and lowering his weights onto the floor. “What’s this about?”

“Well…” You set your little weights onto the bench, arms starting to burn from your reps, “Bucky wants me to learn how to shoot a gun. I’m not allowed out of the confines of the compound without security, and you’re training me to defend myself.” You sat down on the mat, thankful that you hadn’t completely started sweating, yet. “It just seems like… there’s more to the story than what I’m being told.”

“There is.”

You jumped at the voice coming from behind you, as Natasha walked over to grab her water bottle that was sitting on the bench a few feet away.

“Natasha-”

“No, Steve.” You cut him off, a frown forming on your face. “I want to know what she’s talking about.”

“She deserves to know, Steve.” Natasha took a long pull from her water, sweat dripping down the smooth skin of her chest. God, why couldn’t you be blessed with beauty like hers? “It’s her safety.”

You raised an eyebrow, a surge of annoyance running through your veins as your jaw tightened. “Steve?”

“Okay…” He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment and leaning his head back on the wall, muttering that Bucky was going to kill him.

“Bucky knows?” You growled, springing up from your spot on the floor and crossing your arms over your chest in anger, shoulders tensing. “What the hell is happening? What’s so bad that it has Bucky flipping out over my safety and all of you apparently not being allowed to tell me?”

“HYDRA had some… files on you.” Steve looked up, light eyes meeting yours. His lips were pursed in frustration. Probably frustrated that he was the one who had to tell you, and not Bucky. Join the fucking club, bub. “They were pretty thorough.”

“What do you mean thorough?” You snapped, nails digging into the skin of your palms as you fought to keep your cool. “How much shit do they know about me?”

“Well… I didn’t see all the files.” Steve hesitated, leaning his elbows on his knees and scratching at the stubble that was forming along his jaw. “We didn’t want to invade your privacy.”

“How. Much.” You repeated, a small pang of pain in your chest, every time your heart took a beat. You felt like you kept getting stabbed in the chest with a long toothpick, over and over. “How much shit do they have on me?”

“Too much.” Natasha replied for him, leaning against the wall while watching the exchange between the two of you. “They have too much information on you.”

“Were you able to get the files and delete them off the servers?” You pinched the bridge of your nose, pain radiating from your chest to your stomach. If you weren’t careful, you were going to give yourself a goddamn ulcer from stress. “How many people do you think had access to my information?”

“We can’t be sure. We deleted what they had at the base, but… we don’t know if there are any physical copies or who’s seen the files.” Steve answered, standing back up from his spot on the bench. “How about we talk about this when Bucky gets back?”

“How long has Bucky known?” You glared at the two of them, voice cracking at the end of your question.

“I think… no matter what my answer is gets him in trouble.” Steve bit his lip, moving to put the unused weights back in their spot on the rack. “How about we just move straight to cardio? We can do strength later.”

“You guys can’t keep shit like this from me, Steve!” You ignored his awful suggestion of cardio, feeling like you could cry from frustration. “Not only am I Bucky’s soulmate, but I’m your fucking assistant! I leave the compound to run errands, I fill out your paperwork, I go to your meetings when you’re gone, and I have family and friends outside from the compound! I can’t just be kept in the dark about this shit! What if they sneak up on me when I’m running an errand? What if they go after my parents? What if they go after Farida or her husband? Or her baby? What if they-”

“Okay, Y/n, stop.” Natasha glared at you from her spot against the wall, tone demanding. Her usual coldness far icier than usual, making you stop and take a breath. “First of all, you knew what you signed up for when you took this job. An assistant job for the Avengers? You knew the risks of getting involved with us. And need I remind you that you’re yelling at your boss?”

Technically, Pepper Potts was your boss.

“Natasha-” Steve tried to intervene, seeing the situation start to escalate further as Natasha took a step towards you.

“Second of all-” She continued, also ignoring Steve, “- We’re taking preventative measures so that you can protect yourself. What happens on a mission is technically none of your goddamn business, so this little temper tantrum you’re having is pointless. Bucky didn’t want to worry you, so he didn’t want us to tell you. Too bad. Take it up with your goddamn soulmate and stop whining about it to us.”

“What the hell is your problem, Natasha?” You shook your head, ignoring how close she was to you. Trying to intimidate you.

“Y/n-” Steve shook his head, but Natasha didn’t let him finish.

“Your little helpless girl act is my problem!” She growled, taking another step towards you and starting to invade your personal space. Helpless girl act? Is she for real? “I don’t trust it. She finds out after a few hours of knowing us that she’s Bucky’s soulmate, and suddenly she’s being attacked in the same day? She gets drugged at a bar, and no one – not even trained agents – saw anything? HYDRA suddenly has all these files on her three weeks after we meet her? I don’t trust it.”

“Natasha-” Steve tried again, but you cut him off.

“You mean to tell me that you’ve all fucking known about these files for months?” You shouted incredulously, taking a step forward and throwing your hands up in frustration. “What the hell!”

“Back the fuck up, L/n.” Natasha hissed, raising an eyebrow, “I’ll only say it once.”

“LADIES!” Steve yelled, pushing himself in the middle of where you stood toe to toe with her, making you both take a step back. “Knock it off. Now.” He turned to Natasha, jaw tight with anger, “Go take a walk, Nat. Now.”

She huffed, rolling her eyes as she swiped her water bottle off the bench and stormed off, red hair swinging behind her.

Steve turned to you, shaking his head and crossing his arms. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t know.” You sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. That was completely out of line. “I just… got mad. I don’t understand what I have to do to get her to trust me.”

“Well, channel your anger into something else.” His tense posture loosened up, a little, as he calmed down. “As for Nat… She’ll come around. She doesn’t trust easily. She’s always been that way.”

“I hope you’re right.” You followed him towards the treadmills. “Also, I’m not going to let this go. You guys seriously can’t keep things like this from me. I’m not saying this as your assistant or colleague. I’m saying this as Bucky’s soulmate. I don’t need surprises.” You leaned against the treadmill, dreading cardio. At least your anger was starting to dissipate a little. She just freaked out on you because she doesn’t trust you. You would just have to prove your trust to her. “If I am going to be dealing with HYDRA and your enemies the rest of my life, I need to know what I’m getting myself into. It’s different as an assistant. It’s not as… personal.”

“I understand.” Steve replied, letting out a long sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry we kept it from you. Don’t be mad at Bucky… he was concerned that it would upset you. He didn’t want to scare you.”

“I’m already scared.” You shook your head, hopping up on the machine and starting it at a normal-paced walk. Your nightmares hadn’t let up. They were worse, now, because your father’s bloody face had replaced the monster. You’d never felt scared of your father, before, and suddenly he was in your nightmares. “That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know.”

“You’re right.” Steve started his machine at a brisk walk, warming up for his usual sprinting. “Also, if it makes you feel any better… I trust you…” He sped the machine up a little more, gesturing for you to do the same. “Not just as my assistant, but as the soulmate of my best friend.”

It did.

It made you feel a little better.

“Thanks, Steve.”

Fuck this cardio, you wanted Chipotle.

-----------------------------------

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY interrupted your dinner with Wanda in the kitchen, making the both of you jump. “Sargent Barnes is due to arrive in approximately five minutes.”

You lit up, feeling like you could breathe again, knowing that Bucky was coming back and was – hopefully – unharmed. “Thanks, FRIDAY. Any injuries?”

“None that require medical attention.”

You breathed out a long sigh, thankful that he was okay and glancing over to Wanda, “To be continued? I want to hear about your time with Vision.”

“To be continued.” She chuckled, sliding your plate over to her side of the table and digging in to your chicken, “Go see your man. You should finally kiss him. I’ll be disappointed if you don’t. It would be totally romantic. Some make-up romance.”

“Shut up.” You groaned at her, jumping out of your chair and thankful that you were not still in your work attire and heels. You’d been forced to take a shower, due to Tony accidentally spilling motor oil all down the front of you while you helped him with a project. “We’ll talk later.”

“Kiss him!” She yelled after you, as you took off in the direction of the staircase. “DO IT!”

You tried not to run, not wanting to make any of the agents believe that there was any danger, but you walked so briskly that some of the agents stared at you, anyways. That, and they always stared at you. You were Bucky’s soulmate, after all.

Ignoring them, you felt excitement bubbling up in your chest, not sure if it was yours, Bucky’s, or a combination of the two of you. Either way, you just wanted to see his face.

It had been a whole thirty hours since he’d left for his solo mission, and over seven days since you’d talked to him in person. You missed him. You just wanted to hug his stupid ass and steal him away from the team for the rest of the month… sadly, he’d have to go to debrief with Steve and Fury.

“Where’s the fire?” Tony joked as you jogged by him and Pepper standing in the hallway.

“Leave her alone, Bucky’s back from Puebla, today.” You heard Pepper scold, before rounding the corner.

Puebla? As in Mexico?

The hell was he doing in Mexico?

You yanked open the door leading to the landing pad, realizing that the jet was already landed and parked.

When you spotted him, your heart leapt, freezing you on the spot.

Bucky was standing there, talking to one of the mechanics, arm gleaming in the setting sun. Even though it was fairly brisk in the fall weather, he had removed the top half of his suit, standing there in a tight undershirt and his tactical pants.

As if he sensed your presence, his head turned, and his eyes went straight to your frozen form – which was shivering with your damp hair, tee shirt, and leggings. His face lit up into a large grin, and he gave you a small wave as he finished what he was saying to the mechanic.

He shook the woman’s hand, turning away from her and jogging over to where you were currently gawking. His face was streaked with dirt, little tendrils of hair falling into his face but promptly being pushed away by his dark, vibranium hand. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You replied, unable to keep your lips from lifting into a large grin. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

You couldn’t help yourself, as you rushed at him. You jumped up, throwing your arms around his neck as he caught you with a small laugh, and you buried your face into his neck. The stubble that had grown in the last week scratched against your cheek, as you breathed in his smell. A rush of relief shot through your veins, the skin of your tattoo tingling, as you tightened your arms around him. “I’m sorry.”

His arms, which had wrapped around your middle to hold you up, tightened as his cheek pressed against the side of your head. “I’m sorry, too.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” You replied into his neck, voice muffled as tears welled up in your eyes. Why the fuck were you crying? “I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not.” He murmured, setting you down far enough so your feet touched the ground, but not letting go of you. “I’m an asshole for pushing you, even though you said you didn’t want to shoot guns. I never should’ve pushed.”

“Neither of us knew that I would freak out like that.” You sighed, never wanting to leave the cocoon of warmth that was surrounding you from his body. He was like your own personal heater in the brisk, fall weather. “I shouldn’t have ignored you. I was embarrassed about how I freaked out. I’m not good at talking about my own feelings… I didn’t know what to say, and I should’ve just talked to you. We agreed to talk about deep stuff, more. I’m sorry.”

He pulled back a little, after hearing the crack in your voice and realizing that there were tears wetting the collar of his shirt. “Hey, why are you crying, darlin’?”

You chuckled, leaving your arms around his neck as he gently wiped away your tears with his thumbs, the contrast of his warm flesh and cool vibranium leaving goosebumps on your arms – a shiver running down your spine. “Honestly? I don’t know. I never cry this much. You’re ruining me.”

“Crybaby.” He teased, pulling you back into his chest and pressing his face against the crown of your head. “Steve told me about the fight with Natasha… are you okay?”

You nodded, sagging a little in his embrace. “She… has her reasons for not trusting me. I get it. I feel bad about arguing with her.”

“Steve said she was being a bitch.” He snorted, vibranium hand running along the top of your back. “I should’ve told you about the files. I just… didn’t want to worry you. I could already tell that… the nightmares…”

“I forgive you. Just keep me informed, from now on, okay?” You shifted, leaning back so you could examine his face. “So… Puebla?”

“It was a useless trip. The lead was a dead end.” He sighed, hands shifting so they were holding your waist. He gave you a small smile, eyes crinkling in the corners in that cute way that they always did when he smiled. Even though his skin was covered in dirt and sweat, you had the urge to kiss him all over the face about a million times… but you weren’t quite in that part of your relationship, yet. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” You giggled, feeling giddy that you were finally in his arms, again.

“Like the sun shines outta’ my ass.”

You shook your head with a snort, rolling your eyes at him. “That was… colorful.”

“What can I say? I’m a real charmer.” He laughed, leaning forward so his forehead was pressed against yours. Your eyes slipped closed, as you felt the warmth of his breath against your face. “I really missed you, though. I… kinda’ felt empty all week. Like I was missing a piece of me.”

“Me, too.”

“I kind of can’t live without you, so please don’t go anywhere, okay?” He admitted, hands gliding down to the curve of your hips, making your breath hitch.

“I… can’t live without you, either.” You smiled, eyes still closed you felt the tip of his nose just barely brush against yours, and your breathing increased in speed, “I’m… happy you’re my soulmate.”

“I-”

“Ms. L/n,” FRIDAY interrupted him from your watch, making you jump back a little. “There seems to be a situation at the front entrance, and Mr. Stark requests your presence.”

“What the hell?” You frowned, letting Bucky go with a small huff of irritation. “FRIDAY, what’s going on at the front gate?”

“A woman claiming to be your mother has requested access through the checkpoint,” FRIDAY explained, “She refuses to leave until she sees you.”

“My mother?” Your body tensed, a feeling of dead leaving a pit in your stomach and making Bucky frown in confusion, “She’s… She’s here?”

Oh, shit…

Part 11

------------------------------------------------------

If I missed you, before, I’m sorry! I have an awful organizational system for tags and I’m working on getting better! -Kristin

BOLDED DIDN’T WORK!

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[confusedreety]

i made myself a modern!au for my children where i dont TORTURE THEM INCESSANTLY (which as it turns out is just marcey’s regular universe)

Grimma

university student, majoring in English, may or may not live under a bridge? Likes to read and write horror (and embarrassing poetry). Takes an unnecessary amount of Philosophy courses even though he hates it cause alfred is a sexy sexy TA. Nat and Rundola found him on the side of the road one night, and took him home like a gross lil lost puppy and patched him up. Now he won’t stop showing up unannounced and eating all the cereal out of the pantry. Nat maintains helping him was the worst mistake of her life, cause he’s so annoying. Rundola tolerates him like a weird tired uncle would, and asks for him to at least leave him the shreddies. Marcey thinks he’s tons of fun though.

Nat

Nat’s what happens when your doctor never quite outgrows their middle school goth phase. She’s a surgeon at the university hospital, where she practices medicine and (much to everyone’s horror) teaches med students. Originally worked in private practice, but eventually took the university position after taking a break to help rundola. Her and Rundola eventually end up together. Friends with marcey, and is always jazzed to hear about her fish adventures.

Rundola

ex-military doctor who went into general practice. he probably drinks too much coffee. He had to take early retirement after ptsd symptoms and depression made it very difficult for him to continue in the modern medical field; now he does part-time consulting and starts doing much better. his house may or may not be a little haunted. insomniac. just sighs when he finds grimma eating his cereal in the dark at 2am. doesn’t let nat’s dog sleep on the bed cause artie stares at him and it creeps him out.

(tagging @gelertassassin for that grimma content)

some silly writing and junk under the cut

(inspired by the frozen fruit i was eating. not edited, just word vomit. maybe will finish??)

“Thanks for the bowl of half-frozen fruit.”

Grimma gingerly chewed at the partly soggy chunk of mango at the end of his fork. While he was grateful for the food, and the cold fruit helped to ease the throbbing in his jaw, he couldn’t keep the sarcasm from leaking into his words. The gesture felt half-hearted. And, to be honest, mangoes were really in the bottom tier of frozen fruit. He felt for sure that his host had deliberately picked much of the other fruit out of the bag—the presence of a single strawberry clearly evidenced the existence of non-mango fruits--leaving the orange-yellow chunks for an unfortunate guest.

“Whatever. Don’t mention it,” Grimma’s host waved her hand in dismissal.  He tried to remember her name; the Doc had introduced her before he’d gone out, he was sure…Natasha? Grimma observed the pale purple Lupe, with her blonde curls and sharp eyes, trying to match face to name. Yes, it was definitely Natasha. Had to be. He nodded to himself in affirmation and chewed another mango chunk. ‘Natasha’ soon returned to tapping away at her laptop computer at the far dining table. From his makeshift bed on the living room sofa, Grimma could barely make out the titles of the heavy books piled beside her. This did not, however, mean he could understand them. Impakttrauma und Schenkel...Schenkelhalsfrakturen? Yeah. Exactly. Whatever that means, she was clearly into it. You do you, girl.

Grimma sighed and finished off his fruit, and tried to organize his scattered memories into a coherent timeline. The haze form last night and the painkillers had lifted from his brain, letting him think clearly again. He remembered The Cleric, the bridge, the road...Doc and Natasha. A car, begging them not to bring him to a hospital, that there was no one they could call for him. What a stroke of luck, Grimma thought, that he’d been picked up by a doctor. He wondered if he’d be dead if it’d been anyone else. His wounds were all patched up, stitches, bandages and all. His bones, he’d learned that morning, had been set. Yes, if anyone else had listened to his idiotic pleas he’d probably be dead. Why they had, however, was beyond him. He hadn’t even been questioned yet. Grimma felt suspicious, suddenly. Were they going to harvest his organs or something? Is that why they’d done all this? Oh my god. Please let my kidneys still be in my body. I need my kidneys.

The sound of the front door opening interrupted Grimma from his internal panicking. He heard bags being set on the floor, and the jingle of keys being hung, and bags picked back up. The Doc must be home. In the dining room, Natasha left her work and met the Doc in the foyer. Grimma couldn’t make out their indistinct converstation. A moment later, though, the two were back in the room with him. Grimma eyed them cautiously now.

“Grimma, how are you feeling?” The Doc, a dark haired camouflage Krawk, smiled tiredly, “I hope Natalie didn’t treat you too badly.”

Natalie? Shit. Well, thank god I didn’t call her Natasha instead. Grimma thought, and glanced awkwardly at Natalie.

“Uh, I’m…fine.”

“Wonderful,” the Doc nodded and turned to Natalie, and spoke in a low voice, “can you change his bandages while I prepare the solution…?”

“It may not work, Rundola,” Natalie’s brows knit together, “are you sure?”

Oh, wow. Rundola? I’m bad with names—wait, WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Grimma felt his chest seize with panic. Natalie and Rundola murmured amongst themselves, but Grimma couldn’t focus enough to make out their words. He jolted upright as Rundola left the room, which he immediately regretted, as pain shot through his back and ribs.

“PLEASE DON’T TAKE MY KIDNEYS!”

Natalie blinked in surprise, and fixed him with a bewildered and scornful look. His outburst had brought Rundola back into the room as well. The Krawk, in contrast, looked at him with genuine concern.

“What? Grimma, we don’t want your kidneys,” Rundola reassured Grimma. He came and knelt beside the sofa, worry on his face. “We talked about this this morning…do you not remember?” he asked carefully.

___

marcey thinks all her friends’ romantic interests are weird

.****

nat: i dont have a type

marcey: depressed old men

nat: 

****

grimma: this is alfred, i love him

alfred: //says that Weird Shit//

marcey: //looks into the camera like shes on the office//

***

whenever i think of this au that kim mitchell song thats like lets go for a soda where nobody drowns and nobody diiiiiesss plays in my head

[throwaway-key]

Tommyjon (or whatever you want!) “I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

(sorry this took so long. here’s a tommyjon fake-relationship ficlet where Tommy invites Lovett to a woods/outing/cabin thing with his boarding school buddies)

“What on earth were you fucking thinking? No, no, don’t even answer that, just get in. I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

Lovett takes off his sweatshirt for Tommy to press to his temple and shoves him into their rental, perhaps a little too roughly considering Tommy currently has a bleeding head wound, but Tommy guesses he can’t really blame him for the harsh treatment.

Lovett reaches the interstate before he seems to realize he doesn’t actually know where the hospital is in this little bit of land they’re in, past the wealthy suburbs outside of Boston and deep into the smaller forest towns.

“Don’t say anything. Don’t even fucking speak.” Lovett orders, holding up his pointer finger with his hand on the wheel while pulling out his android with the other, Tommy guesses to type into google maps. To avoid any possible collision that could result from a stressed and distracted Lovett behind the wheel- his regular driving already questionable at best- Tommy silently hands over his own phone, where he already has the app up and running (with the voice on mute, because Lovett thinks it’s annoying and threatens to throw any phone out of the moving car that has it on).

Lovett takes it with a yank. Not even really acknowledging Tommy except to say, “Press the hoodie harder into your bleeding skull before you drip and stain and make us liable for damage, you fucking idiot.” but he sounds less panicked.

There’s a charged silence.

“You know what I don’t get? About this, like, entire thing? It’s not even the part where you asked me to be your pretend-boyfriend for this weird reunion-type thing, or the part where apparently you turn into the fifteen-year-old douche version of yourself when you’re with your boarding school comrades. It’s the idea that you liked your high school experience enough to get a pretend boyfriend so you could play with your now-married repressed WASP brethren.” he lets out a sarcastic laugh, “In hindsight, I should have known you were queer long before now, who the fuck liked their all-boys boarding school that much?”

He’s much less panicked, if he can rant and ramble on like that. Tommy mulls over whether it’s safe to respond, opens his mouth only for Lovett to bite out, “Not a word.” he turns his head to the window instead, trying to hide the smile threatening to show on his face. It’s really not bad, he probably wouldn’t even need stitches. He had just been drinking and head wounds already bleed a lot. Somehow he doesn’t think pointing that out would wind Lovett down, though. And he needed to let off steam anyway… it had been stressful for Lovett, Tommy knew. This entire weekend he’d been off, even if he had gone into it with his usual enthusiastic bravado.

He hadn’t even blinked when Tommy had proposed the fake dating part of going with him to the Reunion/Homecoming to him, it was the other parts he had been stuck on, “You have a standing date with the guys you went to boarding school with… to hang out in the woods? What, were you in some sort of high school secret society?” and then, fitting it in between Tommy’s chuckles, gaining steam by Tommy’s laughter like always, “Is this like a rich New England kid cult thing? Are you going to sacrifice me in the desolate forest outside of goddamn Boston?”

But it came up during the weekend, the whole… faking a relationship… thing. Everytime Lovett faltered before touching Tommy, everytime he leaned close before leaning slightly away, like he was thinking better of it, forcing Tommy to pull him closer, so Lovett could whisper whatever snarky remark that made Tommy want to bring him so badly. He wanted to encompass Lovett in the timeline of his life, entangle him in the memories of before he even knew him. Fold him into all the spaces where he’ll fit. 

It’s ironic, that the moment Lovett saw Tommy after he tripped while tipsily hiking with his friends when Lovett went to nap in their room in the cabin with Pundit, that that was the moment that snapped Lovett out of his weird, halting hesitancy; and probably convinced all of his friends and their wives of their relationship more than anything else they’d done.

[coffee-for-himchan]

You Are My Chiquita (Yoo Youngjae x reader)

Word count: 2.9 k+

Genre/warnings: (savage) fluff, only warning is a bunch of badly made B.A.P puns.

Summary: You had no clue what was going on in Youngjae’s head when he made the first song related pun, all you knew was that you hoped the first pun was also the last one. Little did you know that this was only the start, and that the whole day would be filled with lame jokes and endless teasing, in classic Youngjae fashion.

You were walking down the street, or at least trying to. It was very early in the morning, and almost no people in your neighborhood could be seen around on the streets at this time of day. A weird coincidence had occurred earlier - both you and Youngjae had a hard time falling asleep, and since it was too hot and too boring to just stay under the blankets and stare at the ceiling, when he noticed that you weren't sleeping either and clarified that you were both weirdly in the same exact situation, he enthusiastically told you that you were going for a walk. So here you were, your hand trapped in his, fingers tangled together and arms slightly swaying up and down with every step you took. Anyone who would've seen it from a distance would've thought you looked like a cute couple. What could possibly be wrong? Everything. Well, not everything. But, unlike usually, Youngjae was all in for bad puns today, and it didn't quite bother him that you weren't in the mood to hear any. Unlike you, who felt the effects of sleep deprivation despite not being able to fall asleep, he was his loud, enthusiastic and energetic self. Just a little punnier.  At first, when he made a lame joke, you thought of it as funny, but it escalated very quickly into your worst nightmare when he found a new past-time favorite - making puns using B.A.P lyrics. So you would just casually ask him anything really, for example, "So what do you have planned for today? Should we go grab lunch together or are you busy with the boys in the studio or at practice?", and he would all seriously stare you dead in the eye for a moment, and then say "Yeah, of course we're getting lunch together, because YOU ARE MY CHIQUITA, YOU ARE MY CHIQUITA" while making his walking style 10 times bouncier and singing loudly on the street. Maybe it was a little mean to hope that someone would open their apartment window and throw a flower pot on his head, yelling at him to stay quiet or something. Okay, that indeed was a bit too mean. You loved him to bits and didn't want him to get crushed and yourself to die alone, but still. Your head was aching already, no need to make it even worse. It all continued when you came back home and popped down on the bed, finally feeling tired enough to actually get some rest at 5AM. When setting the alarm clock, you turned around to face Youngjae. "So, what time do you have to wake up?"  "Well, just whenever you get up for work WAKE ME UP, WAKE ME UP as well. As long as you WAKE ME UP, WAKE ME UP at all," he looked quite satisfied with himself, and what annoyed you even more is the fact that the look in his eyes literally screamed "they call me the brain of the group for a reason, ya know?", not to mention him trying to do Daehyun's "Ooooou, ooooou" parts and failing miserably. Youngjae was slightly disappointed when you got into bed and refused to cuddle with him, and it took him some time and a lot of softly stroking your side with his hand and planting tiny kisses from the back of your neck a little down your spine for him to be able to have you wrapped up in his arms. You couldn't resist him entirely, that was your weakness. Despite having mixed feelings the next morning about not wanting to hear more of Youngjae's bad puns and admiring how he looked like a (very savage) pure angel while sleeping, you woke him up and even made him breakfast. You even managed to smile when he started fooling around, complaining about you being grumpy since yesterday and screaming "BE HAPPY, SO EVERYBODY, BE HAPPY!!", but what killed your mood slightly was his passionate cover of "WHAT THE HELL" (that just consisted of him screaming that line a few times over and over again) when he saw that you laughed at his previous pun. You left the house to go to work, leaving a panicking Youngjae behind, because he took too much time to make puns and was running late now. When you went down the staircase, you couldn't actually help but laugh out loud at that boy's silliness. Yesterday it had really annoyed you out of your mind, but today you were kind of well rested and without a headache, and seeing Youngjae all hyper and jamming to his group's songs had made you happy. But you were just as much of a shady little sarcasm bundle as he was, so you decided to act the way you did earlier on when it came to his puns, just to see how long he would keep making them if you acted like they annoyed you to the last bone. The next pun came right at the start of your next interaction, and it happened to be a "COFFEE SHOP" voice message when you asked him about where he would want to get lunch. After threatening him that you wouldn't come if he continued the lame jokes and saying a coffee shop wasn't an appropriate lunch spot all he did was make a pun using their song "Walk", cutely singing the line "I don't wanna fight, I don't ever wanna fight" into your ear when you did actually meet up at a small cafe. It was hard, but you managed to keep a straight face, because at this point he started adding aegyo to the mix, making it much harder not to react properly. You couldn’t help but let your brain process it all and think a little. Your lives have been so serious recently, with all of these busy schedules both of you had and all the times you spent apart, your shared bed back in your apartment feeling unwelcoming, cold and empty as you curled up in the blankets and facetimed Youngjae who always, no matter when or where, seemed to have a free minute or two in spare for you. Him being this hyper and playful and you responding the way you did made you feel slightly bad, but you promised yourself to keep strong and just see how far he will go. Soon enough you would annoy the hell out of him with cuteness overload as well, and he would have no escape. Not that he would want to escape, you were sure of it. The whole day passed by in a heartbeat, and you were surprised when you looked at your wristwatch and noticed that it was already this late. Just as you were about to call up a friend, your phone, that you had previously put on a desk full with papers you needed for work, started buzzing and sent a few of the papers flying from the table. You picked up your phone, glaring at the caller ID, and sighed. Even when he wasn't around you, Youngjae was causing trouble. "Waddup, trouble on two legs," you casually said as you answered the phone, picking up the few papers and placing them back on the desk. "So, you remember lunch?" he asked. You furrowed your brows as to where this conversation was leading, and slowly nodded, mentally slapping yourself after half a second. Nodding. While you were talking on the phone. "That's not how phones work, (y/n)," you told yourself quietly. "Yeah, my memory isn't short term. Did something happen?" you questioned, now curious. "Well, guess who left their car headlights on... And whose car's battery is now empty because of that..." "Are you kidding me!? Yoo Youngjae, I swear to god..." "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, I GOT DISTRACTED, BLAME DAEHYUN WHO CALLED ME AT THAT SAME EXACT MOMENT AND MADE ME LOSE TRACK OF MY ACTIONS," Youngjae explained in his regular fashion, and you cracked up as you heard "STOP BLAMING ME" somewhere in the distance. "Put me on speaker," you ordered.  "Just don't embarrass me, the situation's already not looking good-" "DAEHYUN, I AGREE, I'M NOT BUYING THAT EXCUSE EITHER,'' you heard various laughs in the distance, and felt slightly proud about yourself for roasting Youngjae like this, because that's exactly how he always treated you in these types of situations. He always lovingly made fun of you, and afterwards was ready to face the problem together with you, no matter how big or bad it was. You figured that the "making fun" part had just ended, so, with a few last laughs, you collected yourself.

"Okay, idiot, wait for me to come and pick you up, and don't do anything stupid," you told him as you got up from the chair you were sitting in and made your way through the whole apartment to grab your car keys. "I swear, your loving boyfriend is in trouble and you talk to him like this, you have absolutely NO, NO, NO, NO MERRCYYY" he screamed out, and you could hear some people laughing in the distance and someone continuing it, going "yeah, we are the B.A.P". "On second thought, maybe you should walk," you told him, and when he started energetically apologizing, you ended the call, leaving him to panic and wonder if you would drive to pick him up or not. At least it seemed funny to the other guys, as they laughed at him and teased him for a while, but Youngjae didn’t really mind. After all, he's been getting on your nerves all day, or so he thought at least, so maybe he deserved it. Knowing Youngjae, you were certain that he would refuse to walk and would stay there waiting for you, blowing up your phone if you actually decided to ditch him. You made your way down the staircase and got in your car, turning up the radio and driving to pick Youngjae up. While in the car, you tried to remember some of the puns, but had trouble doing so. You remembered him getting a hot chocolate at the cafe just so he could make a "life is like choco" pun, that leading to "Carnival" getting stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Many more followed, you were certain, but you couldn't remember all of them anymore. Only thing you knew is that he had probably quoted at least one song from each album. As you drove into the parking lot, you saw Youngjae, Daehyun, Himchan and Jongup just casually standing there in front of Youngjae's car and talking. You wondered how often they did this, just standing at a random place, taking a break from their hectic everyday lives and talking about some things. Youngjae was casually leaning against his car, and you had to admit that he did look quite cool when he stood there like that. Daehyun was enthusiastically explaining something while Jongup and Himchan were in their "default mode", as you called it - Jongup looking completely zoned out and Himchan sipping on coffee. Youngjae had noticed your car, sending playful death glares the second the engine stopped and you climbed out while Jongup and Daehyun waved and Himchan nodded at you. "GET AWAY, GET AWAY, GET AWAY DON'T SAY MY NAAAME," he acted all dramatic, turning his head to the opposite side and putting an arm over his eyes. "SAVE MEEEE from this cringe, please, just take him," Jongup added without hesitation, making Himchan choke on his coffee and Daehyun burst out laughing. "I raised you right," Himchan quietly said, feeling like a proud mom and looking at Jongup, who deep down probably knew what a savage he was, but on the outside looked as innocent as always. "Okay, I guess I'll get away then," you said, smirking wide as you turned around to climb back into your car, but soon enough felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist, the person behind you crashing right into your back as they ran into you.  "Nonononono, I'm coming too," he said, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and unwrapping his arms at the same speed that he wrapped them around. You looked at him, not saying anything, just rolling your eyes. "Babe, aren't you happy to have me bac-" "No," you cut him off, hearing the other three chuckle. "But babee, I love you to the Moon and back, how can you say something like this to me," he gestured at Jongup while saying "Moon", triggering a bunch of "aah's" and cringing. "Cheater, that wasn't even a lyric," Daehyun called out. "Just take him away already," Jongup said, rolling his eyes and wondering why he was stuck with these type of people every single day.  "Wish granted. Bye, guys, see ya," you waved at the other three as you pushed Youngjae into the passenger's seat and got in the car yourself.

"To the Moon and back, by the way, is an awfully short distance," you said as you looked out of the window to see Jongup standing a few meters from your car, still talking to the other two. "It's metaphorical. And it's the thought that counts, right?" Youngjae answered as you drove out of the parking lot and into the streets.   It seemed more than funny to you how both of you could go on like this for days, getting at each other's nerves all the time, endlessly teasing and making fun of one another, and still love each other to bits. You've had some friends and acquaintances actually ask you if you liked being in such a relationship, a relationship that basically consisted of joking and fooling around. What they didn't know is that after the day had ended, when you both were home, tired out of your minds but still wanting to spend the few hours before sleep with each other, you were just like any other extremely clingy cheesy couple. Cuddling on the couch while sipping tea and watching dramas or playing video games so loud that neighbors would sometimes knock on the door and ask you to be quieter. And when things went wrong and you were left to choke on your tears and gasp for air, a pair of familiar arms would always be around you and wouldn't let you go until you felt good. You were never alone, as when it came down to business, Youngjae was always there, always serious and always making sure you knew you could count on him. You felt like he was the person who made your life exciting by just... existing. Existing and being there with you, his constant presence turning your everyday life around to 180 degrees when you started spending this much time with him. Everything suddenly became at least 50% more fun, and knowing how you've struggled in the past, you didn't mind. As you parked your car and got out of it, you could feel Youngjae's right arm wrap around your waist as both of you walked to the staircase. "Hey, are you really annoyed by the jokes? I mean, I could go on, but I don't wanna annoy you out of your mind," he said, looking away at something in the distance that had really caught his attention. "Naah, I've gotten used to them already. Just add a little aegyo to the mix and I might even laugh at it," you said, leaning your head against his shoulder.  You entered the apartment, and suddenly felt a rush of exhaustion. After eating something and going for a quick shower, you stumbled into the living room to see Youngjae sitting comfortably on the couch, channel surfing. "Stop standing there, just come and join," he told you, not looking away from the screen. It took a few seconds before your brain received and processed the message, but soon enough you started moving, sitting down next to him and kicking off your slippers so you could lift your legs up on the couch. His arm reached for you, taking you by the waist and pulling you a little closer. You decided it would be comfortable to rest your head on his shoulder, close to his collar bone. "Leave this on," you told him as you saw one of your favorite TV shows on one of the channels. You knew he wasn't very picky when it came to picking out what to watch, and soon enough you saw him tossing aside the remote and leaning back. Your body that was still leaned against his moved with him, and you snuggled up to his side when he threw a thin blanket over the two on you and put his arm around you. As he turned his head to face you, you decided that it would be the perfect time to give him a loving kiss, just to make up for how mean you have been to him at various points during the day. He didn't seem to mind at all, as he kissed back to his full potential, making your heart flutter and your body beg for more. Your lips parted, and you laid your head on his chest, mildly focusing on the TV show and listening to his heartbeat. A little while passed, until you heard him silently humming at first and then singing the chorus of "With you", one of B.A.P's songs you loved the most. "Isn't that a bit too cheesy?" you asked silently, teasing him. "Oh, just shut up and listen, I know you like it," he said quickly in between the lines of the song, and you silently laughed. He wasn’t in the wrong. "Okay then," you told him, listening to his soothing voice and admiring it. For how this day started out, it sure ended well, right?  

[wantingtobekorra]

Burn, Baby Burn - Part 2/?

Summary: Every year you end up getting badly sunburnt and the team mercilessly teases you and this year is no exception. The only problem is, is that Bucky Barnes is now a part of the team, your best friend, and you ended up falling for his stupidly gorgeous face. Normally you can handle the team ragging on you with only a few grimaces but now, the last thing you want is Bucky seeing you made to seem like an idiot by the team. You decide to try and hide the fact that your entire back feels like a campfire is being built on it as you go through your daily life with the team to avoid them finding out but sometimes you just can’t hide things from your favourite soldier.  A/N: I’m so thankful to everyone who took the time out of their day to read Part 1 and now hopefully Part 2. I love feedback so if you have any critiques of my work then please tell me! Also, if you have any random questions for me, ask away! I love random questions!  Warnings: swearing, just a hint of angst?Word count: 1.2K

       Waking up the next morning, you felt like a garbage truck had driven over your back. Silently cursing into your pillow like a sailor, you tried to breathe deeply and adjust in your bed but even slightly pulling the skin on your back left you whimpering. For what seemed like hours you just laid on your stomach in your bed debating whether or not it was worth it to get out of bed for the next week when a light knock came through your door.

“Y/N? C’mon get up! Training in 5 minutes!” Bucky’s voice came through your door. You held your breath, hoping that he would go away, but it seemed like Lady Luck had decided to fuck you over this morning. Silently groaning, you buried your face back into your pillow. The last thing you wanted to do right now was get thrown all over the training room by your dumbass super soldiers. Anything other than your regular routine though would raise suspicion and you were determined to not let the team know about your sunburn, which by the way, must have been made by Hell itself because HOLY SHIT DID IT HURT.

“Doll?”, Bucky’s voice came again, this time coloured by something you couldn’t bother trying to decipher this early in the morning. Turning your head to the side so he could hear you, you attempted to sound normal,

“Yeah I’m coming Buck!”, you called back to him, “I’ll meet you down there in 10!”. Lifting your head off your pillow you listened as Bucky shifted his weight back and forth in front of your door before finally replying, “Uh, okay doll…I’ll see you soon”. You waited for his footsteps to fade away down the hall before you hauled yourself into a sitting position. God how was it this painful? Slowly you stood up and walked around your room, gathering your workout gear. You glared at your sports bra, knowing that as soon as you put it on you would be cursing the gods of boob support and sunburns.

Taking a deep breath you paused outside the entrance to the training room. You couldn’t spar with Bucky like you usually did – any rough movement of your back and you knew you would be crying. “Okay, come on, don’t be a pussy. Suck it up, grow a pair and pray. Dear Lord, pray” you repeated. You would just have to do slow exercises, nothing that involved getting thrown around. Steeling yourself, you walked into the training room and immediately spotted Steve and Bucky playfully sparring. Watching Bucky fight, even play fighting always distracted you. The sight of his thick thighs and rippling shoulders always left your inner goddess limbering up in the corner of your mind, reviewing her Kuma Sutra book for something that you had been long convincing yourself wouldn’t come to fruition. Losing yourself in your R-rated fantasies you almost missed it when Bucky walked up to you with his 1000-watt smile, his arms reaching around to hug you with his usual morning greeting. You usually loved his hugs, any kind of physical contact with Bucky really, but honestly – if he touched your back, you knew he would at least notice your wincing, let alone the heat that you knew was rolling off your back. Quickly you smiled back at him but stepped out of reach when he got close enough to touch you. Bucky’s arms hung in mid-air before he slowly put it back down by his side, his eyes tightening as he looked at you, hurt clouding his face. Trying to distract him, you started walking towards the weights glancing back at Bucky, “You ready to train?”. You noticed Steve started walking towards both of you as Bucky just silently stared at you with his arms crossed, a small crease between his eyes. Sitting on the bench, adjusting the weight bar, you saw Steve looked at you before glancing back at Bucky who was still watching you.

“Are we not sparring Y/N? We always spar in the mornings.” He questioned. Looking up at him you could see the confusion on both the soldier’s faces but you just shook your head,

“No, I was just going to lift weights today, you know, change it up”, you replied, shrugging your shoulders with a smile, trying to seem nonchalant, but immediately you regretted it as a streak of fire licked up your spine and you had to bite your lip from cursing. Quickly you looked up at the two soldiers to see if they had noticed but Steve was already walking away towards the punching bags on the far wall, his back turned to you. Bucky on the other hand was still looking at you, confusion written across his features.

“You okay doll?”.

Goddammit, why did it have to be Bucky that was the observant one? You straightened up slightly and nodded, “Yeah, just go spar with Steve”. Laying down on the bench carefully, you adjusted your grip on the bar and lifted, hoping that your actions would be enough for Bucky to leave without asking any more questions. After a couple of seconds you turned your head and looked to see if Bucky was still there but luckily he had gone and started sparring with Steve like you had suggested.

The rest of training that morning went pretty much the same way. You lifted weights on one side of the training area while Bucky and Steve sparred on the other side. It was difficult, trying not to move your back too much but as far as you could tell, neither of the boys could tell anything was different, but your focus kept you from seeing the constant looks Bucky kept throwing your way, all of them either filled with confusion or concern. Putting the last of the weights away, you didn’t bother asking the boys if they were almost done; Steve and Bucky could go for hours sparring as they were the only ones that could really push each other physically. You were just leaving when you felt a stabbing pain in your shoulder, “SHIT! What the ...?” you cried out while moving out of the way of whatever had touched you. Swinging around your eyes met blue and you froze. Bucky’s eyes were blown wide and shock covered his face, his hand frozen where it had been touching your shoulder a second ago. Panicking, you tried to think of an excuse that would cover up what you deemed was the biggest fuck up since Watergate. “S-sorry”, you half-chuckled, “guess my workout was harder than I thought?” God seriously? You were a fucking agent of SHIELD and you couldn’t lie better than that? Internally you rolled your eyes at yourself. This was not getting your ducks in a row, this was putting your ducks in a fucking wood chipper. You tried to smile at Bucky as you looked over his shoulder at Steve who had looked over at you when you had yelled. Shifting your weight you looked back at Bucky, “I’m done, so I’m just going to head for a shower. I’ll see you guys at breakfast!” you said to them as you backed out of the room, avoiding the eyes of both super soldiers.

TAG LIST IS OPEN

TAGS: @nikolanna @ficletsforfans

[headcanon-haven]

How about this little part in your latest chapter: "...once he’d gotten over the minor freak-out of being told he was officially pregnant (and Natasha really did deserve a medal of some sort for putting up with him over the twenty-four hours that followed)..." Very interested in finding out more specifics relating to his freakout and what those 24 hours looked like. If possible, would you mind providing commentary for it? Thank you in advance!

Alright... I’m going to try something entirely different - under the cut is a ficlet from Natasha’s POV, giving a glimpse of what went down after the confirmation appointment.  I might end up cleaning it up later and starting a collection of extras - we’ll see.

Natasha looked up from her book the second that she heard the clinic door opening, feeling the small hairs on the back of her neck rising in anticipation the same way that they had at the sight of every other strange couple that had returned to the waiting room, all looking different shades of excited and happy as they paused to schedule follow-up appointments with the receptionist.  She didn’t exactly understand their joy, as she had never particularly felt the drive to breed herself, but she hardly held it against them.  No, her anxiety wasn’t rooted in the emotions of the strangers that made their way in and out of the exam rooms behind the clinic door; it was in her worry for the one omega who still had not reappeared, despite having gone back ages ago.

 The second that she saw the familiar pair she had been waiting for, Natasha allowed herself to relax, just the tiniest bit, although the moment she actually looked at them she felt her heart drop.  The small alpha she’d only just met looked to be a strange mix of shell-shocked and ecstatic, but it was James, who looked pale and sweaty and panicked, who caught and held her attention, confirming exactly what Natasha had feared.  

The procedure had worked, and her idiot of a best friend was pregnant, exactly as planned.

It wasn’t that Natasha begrudged James for his decision - on the contrary, she knew exactly how desperate his circumstances had gotten, and had suffered along with him as the omega had struggled, first to gain the acknowledgement he deserved among his peers in his classes, then to get a foot in the door for an internship, then to work like a dog, without pay or respect, through the extended internship that she’d worried had sounded sketchy from the beginning, and finally through the past year of endless job rejections and mounting financial crises.  She’d done everything that she could to support her friend, but at the end of the day, neither of them could do anything to change the system.  And so, here they both were - in a trendy, pastel waiting room full of happy couples, watching helplessly as James rented out his own womb for loan repayment money.

Natasha swallowed the thought bitterly, knowing that it wouldn’t do either of them any good.  It certainly wouldn’t help James’ current state, which she realized she needed to get a move on rectifying before it reached crisis level.  Thankfully, the alpha - Steve, her mind supplied - hung back, leaving Nat free to shoulder her purse and approach James on her own.  He took one look at her, shoulders sagging as she forced a friendly smirk, then followed as she nodded towards the exit door and set off without a word.

“You alright?” she asked, quietly (senselessly) as the elevator doors closed behind them - blessedly without Steve as well.

“Sure,” James responded after a moment, staring straight ahead at the polished doors in front of him, his entire aura belying his words, “why wouldn’t I be?”

Why indeed, Natasha thought, internally rolling her eyes.  Once they made it to street level she led them out of the building, straight to the same frozen yogurt shop she’d taken him after his initial procedure.  They didn’t speak as they both picked idly at their treats, but Natasha figured they didn’t exactly need to; they’d known one another for long enough to read each other’s emotions, and neither had ever been particularly great with words and feelings, anyway.  It was part of why they’d become such great friends in the first place.

Thankfully, James didn’t protest when Natasha insisted that he come back to her place as they boarded the subway back towards Brooklyn.  In fact, he was the one who immediately changed into workout clothes once they had arrived at the building, going to the gym on his own without asking for permission.  Natasha let him go on his own, figuring that the omega could probably use some alone time to work through his thoughts without a spectator around.  She made her way down an hour later, silently joining him in his circuit training, helping with spotting as he moved on to arms and then watching carefully out of the corner of her eye as he pushed himself to the limit on the treadmill.

She was struck with the sudden, hysterical thought of James on the same treadmill seven months from now, hugely pregnant and still too damned stubborn to acknowledge his limitations - he gave her an odd look when she snorted and flubbed the combination she had been in the middle of throwing on the punching bag, but was too winded to actually say anything about it.

They made small talk as they both cooled down, quietly murmuring about plans for dinner and stupid shit to watch on TV while steadfastly ignoring the elephant in the room.  Nat shot Clint a text while James was in the shower, updating him on the results of the appointment and letting him know that she’d likely have a house guest for the night, so it’d be best not to come over.  He sounded as regretful about it as she felt, but of course agreed and offered his support, confirming her thoughts that she’d managed to find the best mate, ever.

From there she ordered garbage Chinese food from their favorite restaurant up the street, so that when James finally made his way out of the bathroom (and she gracefully ignored how red and puffy his eyes were) they curled up together on the couch, picking away at the greasy boxes while watching a Friends marathon.  It easily could have been a regular Wednesday night at Columbia, back when they were both young and stupid and before James’ entire life had gone to shit.

Once he was done eating James pulled his feet up onto the couch, fidgeting for a while in an attempt to get comfortable before finally falling against Natasha’s shoulder.  With a snort she wrapped her arm around him, welcoming it as the omega nuzzled against her shoulder and finally started to relax.

It was well over an hour before either of them spoke.

“You’re not… um - mad, are you?” James asked hesitantly.

Natasha blinked in surprise, waiting as Ross finished delivering some tactless punchline on the TV before answering.  “No, I’m not mad,” she murmured, letting her head fall against the crown of James’ hair.  “At least, not at you,” she clarified, “I still think the whole situation is fucked, but I’m not angry at you.”

It was the truth, although as she thought about it, her feelings towards him wouldn’t have made much of a difference.  James was her oldest friend, the closest thing to family that Natasha’d had in her entire life - and with his own family gone, she knew she played the same role.  Even if she was pissed at him, she still would have been in the same position, still would have loved him all the same, especially knowing how badly he was hurting now.  

“Good,” James murmured after a few moments of silence, curling even tighter against her shoulder with his eyes still fixated on the screen.  “I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess, but… I’m kinda freaking out about it.”

“I am, too,” Natasha answered, surprising even herself with her honesty.  “But you don’t need to apologize.  We’ll figure it out.”

It was all that needed to be said between the two of them, really - just a quiet promise that Natasha would be there for James, the same way that she knew he’d do the same if she needed it.  They remained on the couch, curled around one another until they began dosing off, when Natasha woke up enough to convince James to stay the night and waited until he was settled in the guest room to crawl into her own bed.

It took hours before she finally fell asleep, in no small part because of the anxiety that she could practically smell radiating from the guest room down the hall, but she finally fell into a fitful slumber - knowing that for as anxious as she was about the future and what it would bring for her friend, they’d find a way to get through it together.

[theheartofmed]

After this semester, I think I believe in miracles. Last semester, I took Ochem I. I loved it. It was challenging, but interesting, and I had a teacher who I respected and wanted to impress. The only “curve” we’re given is a 12% grading scale (i.e. an 88% is an A). I entered the final with something like a 97%. I would’ve had to fail miserably to get a B.

And I did.

I stared at the exam and started to panic. I suddenly felt like I had no idea what I was staring at, the pressure made me crack. The entire test I fought back the urge to sob, with a few tears rolling down my face. As I took it- I hoped no one noticed. I left the exam and just straight up sobbed hysterically, barely breathing. I called my parents sobbing saying I could never be a doctor. They talked me down- a B isn’t the end of the world. And I knew that- it’s not my first B! But for some reason I couldn’t stop crying. I failed the final bad enough to get a B. It’s organic chemistry. A B is nothing to be ashamed of. But it hurt because I felt very much that I had earned an A and I couldn’t understand how I had blanked so severely. 

Then came Ochem II. It made Ochem I seem like a breeze. My highest score on an exam was a high B. On the third exam....I studied a lot. To me- doing well on it was the only reasonable way I had a chance at an A. I studied my ass off- seriously. 

Then...I blanked again. I got a 60%. I was horribly embarrassed and felt stupid for asking him for a letter of rec for med school. My confidence in myself just kept dwindling. I wanted an A so badly to prove something to myself after last semester. Instead, I just felt like a complete idiot after getting that D when I studied like crazy. 

Now, I needed a 90% on the final. A 225/250 to be exact. It sounds do-able, but if you’ve taken ochem you probably know it’s not so easy. His finals were notoriously hard. I thought back to last semester and I almost gave up. Still, I studied. I figured if I’m going to get a B I’m going to get the best B I can. 

Then I ran into my friend...I expressed to her how I was worried I was going to panic again, that I was doing all this studying and was just going to panic and fail. Failing could’ve resulted in a C...The environment of that class just really got to me. She then went “I know you’re graduating and it might be too late, but have you tried talking to the DRC? (Disability Resource Center)”.

So...I went home and I figured I’d call. I knew calling a week before my final and right before I graduated was a long shot, but calling couldn’t hurt.

I have a previous diagnosis of anxiety and another thing I don’t really like to talk about. Panic attacks were once pretty regular in my life. I’ve gotten help from awhile back and now I manage it very well. I’ve never had severe testing anxiety before but as soon as she said that I suddenly went “Oh...I’m panicking during my exams”. I can’t explain it- but it was only in organic chemistry. I called them, and it helped that I already had documentation to show it was a problem. They told me it was a long shot but they’ll try to make it happen- they were super understanding about everything and didn’t make me feel stupid for asking for such a last minute accommodation.

They pulled through 2 days before the exam. I was given a semi private space with a large desk to take it and an additional 30 minutes. I didn’t need the extra time but it was soothing knowing I didn’t have to rush like crazy to finish. I was so ecstatic when I found out.

I took my exam, and I threw down everything I knew. I walked out feeling good, mostly because this time I didn’t cry. I didn’t panic. I was focused, and did my best. It really proved to me that this entire time I just developed extreme testing anxiety and didn’t realize it. Math is the only class anxiety has really ever hurt me in- but still- not the way it has in ochem all year.

So the grade is in....and I got a 235/250. I finally got my A and it feels like such a huge accomplishment.  I guess I’m saying all of this because had I not reached out to the DRC- even with the long shot it was- I really don’t think I would’ve pulled it off. People kept asking where I was- none of my friends saw me in the room while they were taking the final. I was seriously so embarrassed to admit to my last minute accommodation- and I don’t know why because it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Asking for help is really hard for me. I struggle admitting that I struggle, and mostly I feel I can’t count on anyone but myself for help. This proved otherwise, and showed me that there are always people willing to help judgement free. It showed me that the hard work paid off, that I did indeed know the material, and that I just had an illness that had creeped back up on me without my knowing. I firmly believe that you can have a mental illness and accomplish all of your dreams in spite of it. To me, getting this A proved that to myself when I started to have doubts.

I keep thinking I pulled off a miracle....

But I didn’t. I reached out for help when I needed it and studied my ass off and made it happen.

So, I guess I’m just saying you can make it happen too. 

[gasterimagines]

What about a scenario or reactions where the gasters get hurt really bad and wake up in the hospital?

Undertale - The first thing he sees when he wakes up is you, sleeping in a chair by his bedside- And the first thing he feels is a pounding headache- There was a mishap at the lab, an experiment gone wrong- Not a surprise- He’s ridiculously accident-prone- Whatever machinery he’d been working on overheated and went boom- You wake up in time to see him holding his head in his hands- Before you can stop him, he’s already felt the bandages- His face falls- And you have to hurriedly convince him the damage isn’t as bad as he thinks- “But what if it leaves scars! I can’t afford to look any worse…”- Ok first of all shush, you’re beautiful- He eventually stops panicking when you- very carefully!- crawl onto the hospital bed and lay beside him- Gentle as you are, he winces at the contact- Doesn’t stop him from pulling you closer anyway- This boy needs cuddles stat- He’s got burns all along his left side, and a pretty bad cut on his scalp- Luckily they don’t scar like he’d worried- But he is in a lot of pain for the next few months- He’ll suffer in silence, but looks miserable when he thinks you aren’t watching

Underfell - This isn’t the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last- He’s always getting into fights, mostly with other monsters- But apparently he met his match for once- Or maybe he was outnumbered- Who knows- He certainly doesn’t- The whole night before is a blur- He vaguely recalls seeing blood- They must have been human- Whatever happened, it left him with a fractured jaw, a broken leg, some bruises and battered pride- He brushes off any of your help or concern- It’s been over twenty years since he last got his ass kicked this badly, and it’s terribly embarrassing- He’ll be fine though, he’s certainly suffered worse- Eventually he does let you care for him, mostly for your benefit- You act as his crutch when he starts to lose balance, or make him soup since his mouth hurts like fuck- As soon as he’s well enough to fight again, he’ll try to track down his attackers and get revenge- Goddammit Gaster can u chill maybeUnderswap - He hasn’t gotten this sick in centuries- Monsters aren’t affected by regular pathogens, but there are all sorts of magic-based illnesses- Those with a high enough HP are usually fine- They get through it like a normal cold, staying in bed and drinking orange juice and all- But US’s HP is getting low from age and stress- He ends up conking out right in front of you without warning- Hours later, he wakes up freezing and woozy- The last time he was in a hospital, the heart monitors looked like this- He doesn’t like how bright it is or how many people are around- But he’s too weak to find a place to hide- Whenever you try to leave, he begs you to stay- The fever is making him delirious and heightening his paranoia- Everything seems 100x more threatening than usual- While you’re there, he feels safe- The only times you get bathroom breaks or a chance to stretch your legs are when he falls asleep- Better get back before he wakes up or he’ll legit try to come find you- But he can’t even walk five feet without toppling over- FFS just stay in bed you drama queen- He’s so embarrassed when it’s over- Still wants you to stay there tho- Hospitals are scary no matter how whacked out you are

Outertale - When he wakes up with pain shooting through his head he’s absolutely convinced he’s dying- And seriously considers writing up a will- But then you remind him that he just tripped down the stairs- His head hurts because he landed on it- Lil dumbshit wore six inch heels and expected to walk perfectly on the first try- Of course, he didn’t listen when you told him not to take the stairs without practice- He made it about three steps down before twisting his ankle- The fall left him with a concussion, sprained ankle and broken arm- Sans got the whole thing on video- It’s funny to watch now, but at the time you’d been reasonably horrified- The accident was his own stupid fault but you hadn’t wanted him to get hurt- Though it’s harder to feel bad when he milks the hell out of it- It’s pretty easy to tell when he’s exaggerating the pain vs when he actually needs help- But you indulge him either way- He’s an idiot- But he’s your idiot- Plus all he really asks for is piggyback rides since ‘it hurts too much to walk’- As well as some extra kisses bc that makes him feel betterMertale - Absolutely did not deserve this- Some asshole fishermen happened to catch a glimpse of him out at sea- He’d been curious about their boat and surfaced to take a look- Since then, they’ve been trying to hunt the ‘sea monster’ bc it’ll make the famous or whatever- They initially tried to capture him alive, but he fought back too hard- Ripped like six of their nets to shreds- So they finally got angry and freaking harpooned him- He still got away, but not without some awful injuries- It was by pure luck that you happened to visit just as he came to shore for help, covered in blood and probably giving you a heart attack- A friend of yours works at a marine life clinic- They don’t hesitate when you call them about an ‘injured animal’, nor when it turns out to be a literal mermaid- They just acknolwedge that he needs treatment and take him to the clinic without question- Bless friends like that, seriously- When Gaster wakes up in what appears to be a human structure, trapped in a tank, he is understandably freaked the fuck out- He nearly breaks through the glass before you rush in and calm him down- Poor fishy is gonna have a lot of new scars and a renewed fear for humans- He reluctantly trusts your friend to tend to his wounds, though not without trying to bite them a few times

[laviesecretedemoi-blog]

25th January 2018

I avoided this for 25 days but right now seems the right time. I have always been a very curious, rather nosy, person and decided to try and share more rather than find out. Today is the first day of my diary entries for 2018, out in the open for anyone to read.  Today has been hard, I have found myself in an incredibly low mood tonight, hence the late entry. I often have days where I cant seem to make sense of my own mind and thoughts, why do I get so upset so easily about the least important things, am I the only person who’s mind works in a way that feels as though I am almost set out to sabotage myself? 

My mum tells me I have an issue with paying no attention to the hundreds of positives I hear about myself and what  do, but pay great attention to the one negative. I agree with her.  I recently graduated and adult life has hit me harder than I imagined. Moving back home to a village my parents moved to while I was as university meant starting again. However, this time without the ability to go out and get stupidly drunk and make friends in club toilets, I’m a strange age to be ‘playing out’ and meeting friends, and people my age seem to have settled with friend groups they’ve known from school etc. The people I have met here aren’t who I imagine myself being friends with, I don’t feel like i have any real friends.  I have never been the type of person to have a group of girl friends, I have had the odd girl mate here and there which have all ended really bitterly and arguing with girls gives me such awful anxiety.  I struggle with the idea that I know i’m a nice person and I make a really good best friend, but some days I cant stand myself, so why should someone else? I want to make friends, I miss socializing and feeling part of something. I spend a lot of time in my room, alone, as my parents are at work. I’m waiting to start a job at the beginning of march, it feels like forever and I am becoming restless, isolated and unsure of who I am anymore.  I have a lot of problems when it comes to guys, one of the reasons I feel so upset tonight. This isn’t your cliche ‘why doesn’t he like me’ rants. I’m genuinely struggling to come to terms with the fact I have forgotten how to love, I have forgotten how to be in a relationship. I haven’t been treated well by a guy in a very long time, my two previous relationships were hard to say the least. Due to being treated so badly, I have lost all sense of how to be with someone else. I have been trying to work out if its entirely my issue or if its the generation we are in these days, this isn’t just about guys, girls can be just as bad which I would know as I have been that girl on some occasions. I feel as though the way I have been treated has made me cautious and through being cautious I have become picky which I never was. I don’t mean picky as in I only date attractive guys or he must have this or must have that, picky as in knowing my worth and hoping someone will treat me how I deserve.  However due to my disgustingly bad taste and judge of character, I encounter idiots on average, once a month. Idiots that I choose to trust and get attached to before being brutally aired and told I am ‘too intense’ or ‘too full on’. I have been told this so many times now I am beginning to believe it myself, I don’t like being seen in this way and struggle to get myself out of this rut on a regular.  Back to today. I have just started speaking to a guy, he is funny, witty and a little bit nerdy, but I like that about him. We have spoke for a couple of days and have mentioned about meeting up, I decided to drop to question and ask if he was free this weekend. To this I had no response, not for the rest of the night, not for the following day. I felt let down and due to my own insecurities panicked and messaged asking him why, the more I was ignored the more anger I felt and the more I said. Its not cool, I started to understand the ‘too intense’ comments and once again I was in a rut. I think i’ve fucked it, within days I have fucked it. But this is the important part, we spoke for A COUPLE OF DAYS so why do I feel so hurt? Its almost ridiculous to read having wrote it out right now, but I am being 100% honest with these posts.  This isn’t the first time I have felt hurt by a short term, not serious, ridiculous encounter. It happens regularly and I can’t put it down to anything other than the fact my heart is so unsure and so hurt still after years. After losing people in the past, I feel I have gained some kind of attachment issue that I can’t seem to shake.  I hate that I have allowed another human to make me feel this way, to not trust and to not feel I am worth love.  A very negative start to my online diary, I can assure you I’m not a total moaner all the time, prepare to find out everything, I am ready to share it all. B.