#painful and hurty and I'm sad sad

[cherrylindreams]

literally everything about my life is changing this week. I'm allowed to be a little on edge and stressed and grumpy and wobbly and excited and scared and tired and sad.

[jonah-hauer-kingofmyheart]

Food

Pairing: Boyfriend!Jonah x Fem!Bulimic!Reader

Summary: You've been hiding something from your boyfriend, Jonah. Little do you know, he has some suspicions of his own

Warning: vomiting, r has bulimia, eating disorder, hurty fluff, soft

a/n: trigger warning

You and Jonah have been dating for almost 6 months. it pains you terribly to keep secrets from him, but 6 months is still to early to tell how he might react. You've always been insecure about your body, but have maintained a fit figure through exercising. This doesn't mean that your body's always been healthy, though. Your eating disorder has caused numerous health problems, and even erosion of your teeth. You've tried therapist after therapist but nothing seems to help. It happens each time you eat. If you're with your boyfriend, or other company, you excuse yourself to the bathroom. Throw up. Splash water on your face. Slight primp then head back to the table. Jonah has noticed this pattern, but doesn't think much of it. He has noticed your thinness, but also your muscle, so he assumes your healthy. He cares so much, but doesn't want to pry.

~~

It was a bit different than standard date night. Jonah decided that he would surprise you with a romantic dinner at home. At dinner time, he called your name from downstairs. After a final swipe of mascara, you called back "Coming!" And trotted down the stairs, taking in the sight of a table set for two, with steaming plates of pasta, a platter of warm bread, finished with two candlesticks, standing tall. Right beside your chair, ready to pull it out for you was your boyfriend. He had the biggest look of pride in himself. He was smiling so wide his dimples deepened and his eyes crinkled.

"Oh, Jonah!" You said, placing a hand over your heart, "I love it!"

You ran forward and embraced him, standing on your tiptoes to close the height difference so he could kiss you.

"Of course, love, only the best for the best."

You swore you physically swooned right then and there. You sat, savoring the delicious meal, cooked by Jonah, of course. You chatted about the silliest things, as though you were two kids on a first date. dinner was wrapped up, plates cleared, as you told Jonah you were just going to pop up to the bathroom. He acknowledged, and you left. Jonah pondered. He was a worried about you more these days. you seemed, if anything, to be... thinner than usual? Like a fragile leaf that could be swept out of his arms by a gentle gale. You hadn't returned after a few minutes, and Jonah, already concerned, decided to check on you. As he was coming up the stairs he heard it. The retching. Not wanting to alarm you, he gently knocked on the door and pressed his ear against it.

"Y/n? Babe? You ok?" he asked, concern drenching his words.

A moment of silence from wishing the bathroom as you sat there riddled with anxiety.

"I-" You started, but never finished.

"Y/n? I'm coming in, ok?"

The door clicked. It was a sad sight, Jonah, concerned, standing in the doorway, you, small, sad, defeated, sitting next to a toilet with floating bits of undigested food. Jonah collapsed next to you, stroking hair away from your face, and taking your hands. Neither of you said anything. You looked at him, he looked at you. Tears in both your eyes. You broke down in his arms. He held you, just letting you cry and cry as you needed. He stroked your hair and whispered sweet nothings to you. You looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"Love, what's wrong?" He asked, looking you in the eyes.

You sniffed, your eyes darting away. You defiantly stared at the wall as you told him. "I have bulimia." You confessed, your voice breaking. Jonah said nothing as he processed. You so dearly wished that he would. He swallowed hard, tears falling over his eyelashes as blinked tears. He looked down at you, wiping your tears before speaking.

"We'll get through this."

[raivennxi]

Thoughts 4 2Day

Hiya Buhbies..

I'm back.

I needed a few days. Thank You for the Grace all of U extended to Me. Someone Who I truly Love and was very Instrumental To helping Me figure out life, after a very dark period of My Life, passed on. Needless to say, even though I knew it was an eventually, Her Passing Hit Me like a ton of Bricks. I knew all the platitudes, "oh she's at peace. No more pain," etc. Frankly none of that was comforting. We all go through grief differently and We shudnt be made to feel bad for handling, grieving differently, than other's. U r gonna feel how U feel, until U don't. Dont let anyone rush U or shame U for Ur grief choices.

It's Ur own personal Journey. Biggest Hugs to anyone Having Hurties tonight.

Please Know I Love U. 🖤🖤🖤

Mwah 💋

#Sads

#Grief

#PersonalExpressions

#MommaDiva💋

[kloop-of-krystalz]

Ughhh my leg hurty sm 😭😭😭 (from a prev injury + walking a ton + daily stuff)

But I'm not that sad like any other time anymore tho since I started watching House MD I'm always like:

"Ouww :,[ ! But house moment 😎😎😎 *screeches in pain* "

[theotherbuckley]

Hii for the Wips 1 and 7 :)

Hi 💜

(1. Buck has the big sad. The sad gets bigger. But then, slowly, the sad gets smaller <3)

This is my beloved healing fic. Taken me so long to write. It's at 18K atm and I'm slowly (slowly) writing it.

If you don't already know this fic is depressed!Buck during s5 when Eddie leaves and Maddie and Chim leave and Buck is not coping. And he reverts to bad coping mechanisms (SH and sex). But he asks Bobby for help!! and he slowly gets better. Lots of snippets here.

(7. Leg hurty :()

So I wrote a Chronic pain!Buck fic published here and I really liked it so I'm writing another one this time set around the time of the blood clots where he has to deal with the pain on a daily and just isn't vibing but Eddie is there to help when it gets too much.

[akumeis]

sometimes i think about how i hc that aymeric loved haurchefant so dearly, had grown up with him through the friendships of their parents, && they had been together in secret. how afraid aymeric was of admitting to their relationshp && proudly showing it off despite wishing so much that he had the courage to do so. he was too afraid of any harm coming to his beloved if he were to, could never shake that fear despite nothing to prove that it’d even occur.

so now that haurchefant has passed away, not only does he have to live with the guilt of hiding him, of denying him their right to showcase their love for eachother, he has to live pretending that he wasn’t as close to haurchefant as he truly was. he has to pretend that he isn’t so devastated by his death. he has to pretend like time will heal those wounds. he has to, when the wol speaks of how close they were to him, say “ i know you were, you must be so pained “... unable to ever say “ i understand exactly how you feel, he && i were close too “.

:^)))))))))))

[doberbutts]

I have some asks to answer but: would appreciate some distraction from pain again today as I'm likely going to need to call out. Might play some Genshin if I can be upright, if not I'll be sad and hurty.

[little-owly]

Can I get something cute with Dr ip//lier/Little!Ho//st or Wilf//ord/Little!Da//rk? I'm feeling very icky and I would love a smile pwease unu

aww, hope you feel better, anon!! ❤️ i wrote this reeeeaaallly quickly!! ///"P-P-Papa," Host whimpered under his breath. The cry echoing around the empty doctor's office. His trench coat wrapped tightly around his body as he continued to cry. The Doctor sighed, "I know, baby bear, I know," a comforting tone in his voice -- unlike any other he's used before. Especially with other patients. Well, The Host was not one of his other patients. He was...more delicate. More fragile. More...childlike.He always was when the Doctor had to change out his dressings. The dried blood and brown color of the bandages adding a menacing look to his special little patient. One that he knew The Host was not fond of. "Papa, hurty...eyes hurty..." he whined as he huddled closer, growing fussy. Of course he didn't like the procedure -- who would? The stinging pain, the warm, definite, trails of blood running down his cheek, and the scratchy dressings he wore. All of it sending him into headspace. Especially when it was his Papa working on him. "I know it does, baby bear. But Papa has to do this or it might hurt more." the Doctor sighed, "hold on -- I think someone can help you.""Some...one...?""That's right! Someone who loves you just as much as I do, someone cute and cuddly and lives in the woods."The Host, now without Papa in the way, tucked his thumb securely into his mouth. Sucking gently -- the anxious feelings at bay as he waited. Thinking of who it could be. Who could possibly love him as much as his own Papa?As little as he may be, The Host's abilities still worked non-stop, narrating all around him. 'The Doctor stands and rushes to a hidden trunk under his desk.' The Host thinks -- narration abilities painting the picture of the scene for him, 'He struggles with the lock before smiling to himself. Various baby toys and pacifiers hidden from prying eyes. His gloved hand rummaging until he finds my gift. The sole comfort item I crave when under great amounts of stress.'"Papa? Papa go bye bye?""Oh no! I'm still here, baby bear! And...so is Jamie!" Dr. Ip//lier giggles and wraps The Host's hands around the teddy bear. His lips curving into a smile around his thumb as he gasped."Papa! Jamie!" "Jamie's gonna keep you company while Daddy does his work on you, okay? And as long as Jamie's in your hands, you can't be sad, remember?"The Host nods, whining as the Doctor pulls his thumb away from his lips. Explaining how he'd need room to work -- even promising Host his favorite teething toy after. "How's Jamie today, baby bear?"The Host brings Jamie to his ear, giggling, "Jamie says they wan' ice c'eam, Papa, wif lots of whipoed c'eam!""Hmm, Jamie, you know ice cream's bad for your teeth," the Doctor laughs, "but, I think we can pick some up on the way home. Because our good baby Host is being so well behaved!""Papa!" The Host blushes, "not baby...""Oh, I'm sorry -- our good big boy Host!"Host nodded and continued to let his Papa work. No longer minding the pain of his bandages being changed. No longer minding the slightly scary anxious feelings he got as more new bandages layered over his eyes. Because as long as he had his trusty Jamie the Teddy Bear and Papa Ipl//er -- he would be fine. 'The Doctor wonders if I'd like strawberry or chocolate for my dessert tonight. Silently choosing one in his head until we'd leave his office' The Host's narration abilities kicked in again. "Papa! Wan' strawberry flavor! Chocolate yucky.""Oh," The Doctor smiled, "thank you for telling me! Why, I almost picked the wrong choice for my big boy." he smiled. The Host smiling back, happy as can be again.