#p.s. i'm not including arquiusprite's quirk because figuring out how to insert that sunglasses-bow image into every line

[the-meat-machine]

ok, i couldn't stop thinking about this pairing, so i wrote this silly little thing. it's onesided Arquiusprite/Dad Crocker featuring cake and a daddy kink a mile wide. enjoy!

After the game, your house becomes something of a gathering place for all manner of people, from Jane and her friends to the various companions they met along their journey. You don't mind in the slightest. After the isolation and stress you faced while raising the heiress to the Crocker fortune under your grandmother's overbearing eye, you're more than happy to make up for lost time by playing host to as many people who will indulge your corny jokes as possible. Besides, you think that after all the trials they faced in the game, all of these poor souls could use a little coddling.

The sprites, you suspect, may be having an especially difficult time of it, though they put on a brave face. All of them have been changed in ways that make it difficult to relate to those they once called friends. You make sure they know your door is always open to them, and in return they keep you frequent company.

One of the sprites in particular has taken quite a shine to you.

Perhaps a bit too much of a shine.

ARQUIUSPRITE: Hello, Sir Dad. It is I again, Arquiusprite. ARQUIUSPRITE: Would you like to spar with me, Mister Dad sir? ARQUIUSPRITE: Test your prodigious STRENGTH against my equally sicknasty MUSCULATURE. ARQUIUSPRITE: Holy s***knickers would I ever like to feel your smokin' hot bod strain against mine in intense motherf***ing combat. ARQUIUSPRITE: Whoops, there goes my goshdarned f***ing potty mouth again. ARQUIUSPRITE: Naughty boys should be punished, don't you think? ARQUIUSPRITE: According to social convention it is now your obligation to wash my mouth out with soap. ARQUIUSPRITE: Dad. ARQUIUSPRITE: Daddy. ARQUIUSPRITE: Father. ARQUIUSPRITE: Strange attractive human lusus. ARQUIUSPRITE: Punish me. ARQUIUSPRITE: Punish me, I demand it. ARQUIUSPRITE: Mister Jane's Dad, please spank my f***ing incredible ghost glutes. DAD: ARQUIUS. I WILL NOT SPANK YOU. DAD: BUT IF YOU COME INSIDE, YOU CAN HAVE SOME CAKE AND JOIN ME WHILE I WATCH THE MUSIC MAN. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? ARQUIUSPRITE: Oh h*** flippin' yes. ARQUIUSPRITE: You had better fudgin' believe I would be jazzed to all heck to watch your corny ancient Earth musical with you, Daddington Bear. DAD: VERY WELL. COME ON IN.

True to your word, you fetch Arquius a slice of cake (tres leches, his favorite) and lay a towel down on the couch for him to sit on. You're not actually sure that he needs to sit, to be honest, but it's only polite to offer your guest a seat, even if that guest is a floating amalgamation of an alien and an artificial clone of one of your daughter's best friends.

And true to his word, Arquius appears pleased as punch to keep you company. And though he keeps up his bizarre commentary throughout the entire movie, you somehow find that you don't mind one bit.