#over the last few weeks they've really cracked this nut wide open and the exercises are a little cheesy
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#i think there's been something my therapist has been helping me chip away at#that was at the root of a recent bad anxiety episode/trigger that's been bothering me for weeks#if not months#over the last few weeks they've really cracked this nut wide open and the exercises are a little cheesy#but that's okay too... sometimes deconstructing the selectively reinforced self-flagellation#looks a little cheesy#but that's part of the recovery... kill the cringe cop in your (my) head...#but it does also mean having retread some old ground plus unearthing some text posts from before therapy#forgive the long rambling tags i just feel awed once again at how much changes in 3 years#i feel silly looking back at things that were obvious#at times i didn't advocate for myself in the name of people pleasing and believing less in myself#than in the necessity of harmony by anyone else's terms#the feeling silly isn't the same as feeling regret#but i think i don't fully want to forget what the echoes of those feelings were like#bc they were part of a deeper bonding process with so many people#that i love to have these bonds with#including nova who tried to eat my foot an hour before i queued this#isn't his birthday bowtie so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#also i know it isn't a necessity towards doing good work in therapy#but having a queer nb e asian mandarin speaking therapist has just#been really cool and helped me relax in so many ways and they ask great questions#never felt so consistently that way with any other mental health professionals#so apologies for all the therapy related rambles that have gone in the tags lately#fore-apologizing for a little more to come
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