#otp: i was afraid you'd talk me out of it. you could've | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

therealbuunee · 2 years ago

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"I can't erase you. It's your birthday ! Today would've made 4 years. If we stuck it out. Life happened though and even though things are way better than they have ever been. It's more than that when I miss my friend." - Kimaa 9:37 am

I get it . I understand

Wyd today?

Idk yet

That's different

You normally already have plans.

Yeah I'm cooling this time around

That's good honestly but it's your birthday you gotta do something!

Nah lol

No fr

You gotta blow candles out today tf

At least do that

Lol nah

📵 Missed Call

I said I'm otp I was gonna call back

📵 Missed Call

Everything after that is far from a mystery we've done this before...

Dinner turned into a walk in the park literally. After drinking and finishing two cups of passion fruit margaritas. I started to wonder if you needed to drink to be around me. Yea it was that obvious. The hookah was far from done and the food wasn't hitting how I thought it would. So I sat and puffed away. I invited you out tonight so the bills on me. Before long we were headed out of CARNEVAL and standing out front really wasn't it for me. I could've gone home from there that would have been fine by me. You asked me how far DOMINO PARK was from where we were. At this point I'm thinking to myself. This is too good to be true. No yelling no cursing eye rolling. No attitude as calm as can be. From the moment you hopped out that Uber waking across the street in that dress I knew what you came to do. You had changed so much. I had evolved and was afraid to show you. Many things crossed my mind during these short moments with you. Between the phone call to ask me where I was to the instant I laid eyes on you. The eruption of butterflies in my belly grew. I just hoped you wouldn't sense my excitement. No matter how happy I was I refused to tell you. You asked if I wanted to go to the park. Nothing but confusion filled my mind. What's being in that park mean to you ? Til this day I have no clue. Thinking back to the first night we did that I'm pretty sure you remember that night too. How you slept for hours in the car. I stayed up making sure no one would interrupt you. The relaxation over your face as you leaned back in your seat still so close to me. Maybe it was the liquor or the fact that you made me kiss you in front of every body. This kiss was nothing compared to others we've shared many. It was the way you did it lol . I hated the fact that you were actually in there. Spending the amount of time that I did there was nothing compared to growing up there although I spent a lot of time. I guess it would never be the same. You being there is being there together felt wrong. Who were those bitches you brung with you. I wanted to take you home get you away from there. I wanted to go home too. That night is such a blur ... Amy heart aches alot was going on ! I could taste the tequila on your lips when ours met. You were drinking. I asked if you drove and you said yeah ! The bitches that came with you I had never seen them before. I knew Thea and Mani Emoni what ever her name is. The one you said smelled like piss. I had already planned to make the gang shirts. I offered you one and all these bitches wanted one too. I didn't like Mani simply became you exposed me to her. I shouldn't have been mad at her I should been upset with you. I have never done anything like that to you . Why would you expose what's yours ? Why would I expose what's mine ?... We gave each other parts of one another that no one else had seen ! Foolish of me to believe I was special. Mani wasn't even a horrible person. I could feel your energy good bad ugly fake I'm going to know. Playing dumb has its rewards every time. Posted up in front 340 the next generation of red bullies ! Double S Byron My Fave just came home. You walked up the ramp towards us the way you and Shay talked to each other it was as if Footz was there. Nobody else seemed to notice but us. You told me to stay here you'd be back to pick me up. I had no clue where you went. I waited for you until I couldn't wait anymore. Being in that apartment you could feel everything, most of all the hurt the pain was heavy. I wished at times that this could all be a bad dream. When you called me from OT crying on the other end of the phone. You just said you needed me. I put you on mute and begin to laugh to my bros like this shit gotta be a joke.

It's been 51 days since I seen you last I've been trying to burry my mind in just about anything trying to consume so much so that I wouldn't think about us. I'd been trying to figure out in my mind what I would say to you. What could I say to you I could tell you the truth that life has been difficult. I lost my sense of clarity my peace hope all of these things I possessed on my own that seemed to be enhanced by your presence I still love with all of me whole heartedly I still wear my heart on my sleeve and now that your away from me I found a new sense of peace light love and clarity. My hope still lives in you. I knew you were capable I believed our love wouldn't allow you to do it. I could tell from the look in your eyes that day I blew it. I never imagined the day would come where I lost you. I knew at some point in time that I had you. The wall you built was so tuff to break yet hear I was everyday with a bag of tools. I still don't know if I hurt you. 51 days I used you have this thought that I knew you sooo well it turns out I didn't no amount of time could make you or me see the bond we created was soo deep.

I didn't know how I could make what ever you were going through better for you. When you said the words out of your mouth Kima I need you ! I knew something had to happen but what. You told me what was going on and like a ton of bricks the weight of the world seems to be on my shoulders. I hurt because you hurt 😢. I wanted him to wake up too ! Nobody deserves for their life to be taken from them too many people in the world playing GODS. We talked all night you seemed to relax a little more after each conversation. When you needed me just like Superman I'm your savior.

Later that night ⓑ

Well in this case it had to be the patron. She told me to look for a room. I wanted to so badly say no. Whenever we go down this road it never ends well, your phone was already dead for almost an hour and my phone would die soon. We both looked and looked you told me you knew a place after calling the we drove toward downtown and I'm thinking to myself why am I always in the position with you. I parked your car across the street and you came back to tell me you had the key. As we made our way up in the elevator. I wanted nothing but to finally get some sleep. You took a shower It took everything in my being not to get inside of there with you. Getting out and climbing into bed with nothing but a towel I decided I'd go shower too. While in there you came inside and drew a heart on the glass shower door. As the heart begins to drip downwards I rinse my body off grab a towel and made my way out to the room. I have no idea how long I took in there but when I came out your eyes were closed and you seemed to be asleep. I'm not afraid of the dark anymore and that's all thanks to you. Turning on the small light near me I wrote in my notes and asked myself how could you? I laid down beside you and my body just seemed to have some type of magnetic attraction to you as I climbed in bed and got under the covers. I could feel you move closer to me realizing I had nothing on. You held me closer haven't slept in a bed with you in a while. It wasn't abnormal for me to find comfort in your arms. Early that morning I felt your hand on my thigh as you pushed my legs apart I felt myself dripping for you. My body always reacted this way to you before I'm not surprised. I felt like I could explode just from being touched by you my body was on fire. You rubbed my Clit before sliding one finger then you added another slow and then you kissed and sucked on my neck. I woke up to this. As I felt your lips on mine I couldn’t control myself I let soft moans out. Nobody ever made me feel this way. Maybe I love you … I could feel the way my heart beat as if it would beat out of my Chest. I was almost there. A couple more mins and I might’ve came crazy in that room but your phone rung and you stopped !!! If I had a dick I would have blue balls. Why tf would you tease me that way.

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