#otherwise I'd get it out to y'all sooner

[kaelidascope]

Hey I'm not dead just busy 🪷I'm moving in July and preparations are starting. Plus there's some function obligations coming up that require my attention and attendance. Still working on my projects just at a snail's pace 🐌

[aimmyarrowshigh]

14. What have you been finding frustrating with writing this chapter/fic?

Complain a lil bit at me. I love me some complaining. Brains are the absolute worst, honestly, there has to be a better way to have a consciousness.

GAH, well, since you asked for complaining, haha...

I HAD written all of Lent From Tomorrow. Or, well. I had written fully-fully the first 3/4 of it and had a robust outline and chunklets in the last quarter. So I felt safe to start posting it. I KNOW myself. I am BAD at posting WIPs. I am bad at it. My track record of my entire life illustrates this.

So I started posting it and things were going swimmingly! "Yes!" I told myself. "I'm successfully posting a WIP!"

But then I pulled a WandaVision and went, "oh, dear, everyone consuming this story figured out my red herrings much faster than anticipated, I must CHANGE THE STORY" but not in a "screw the audience over" way like WandaVision, just in a "this reveal comes much sooner than I had written, because otherwise I'm worried it will come across like beating a dead horse to keep dropping hints when y'all already know."

So... that completely undid the back HALF of the story, and I started writing it chapter-by-chapter as I posted, and I was doing okay. It wasn't the weekly update schedule I'd had with the prewritten chapters, but that's fine. It's fanfiction. People go years without updating sometimes, especially me, because I AM BAD AT WIPS. But it was still going okay!

And then April and May happened, and I'm ngl, literally every day of April, something cartoonishly horrible happened in my real life and I did not write a word for the entire month. Or do much of anything. I don't even think I read any comic books. I did zero. And then May was... not much better. Like, maybe something cartoonishly horrible happened every three days instead of every day, but it was still way too much.

I actually wrote more in May than I've written in that same time span since 2024 started, which I'm really proud of myself for -- I wrote 14,000 words (plus like 800 words of unpostable noodling) in three weeks, and that's not, like, Impressive or Enough but it's better than I've been able to produce in a while. I told myself just focus on the drabbles and tiny ficlets that were coming out of the prompt/pairing list I'd set up for myself for MLMay, and I tried not to freak myself out, and words happened, and it was nice! And then the last week of May also happened and we're back to Very Bad Brain Times.

So... I know what happens in the last quarter of Lent. I WANT to be writing it. But my brain is just not "together" enough right now to slip into the mindset for such a heavy-duty, plotty, researchy, emotional longfic, and I'm just spiraling and making myself feel even worse by getting more and more anxious about how long it's taking me to write it.

I know, logically, that it's not a huge deal. If people are gonna stick around to read what comes next, they will, and if they don't, they don't, and that's fine. That's how posting serial fiction works. I mean, that's even how TV used to work in the before-streaming times, and it's not like I worried about the feelings of a showrunner if I got behind on a show or decided it went somewhere I didn't care to follow. That's just serialized art! It's fine! I know logically that it's fine!

But reader, Emotionally, It Is Not Fine. I love this story so much, and I'm so invested in actually finishing something for once and I've stupidly pinned like... a lot of my beliefs about my Worth As A Person on "whether I can finish and successfully post an entire longfic," which, I get it, that in itself is not the biggest issue at play here, but whatever. Baby steps. And I just... it sounds so stupid. And I KNOW that it's small potatoes.

I just want people to like it.*

And I know that every passing day that I don't update, fewer people are going to read it and/or like it, and that also feeds the Bad Brain Spiral. And I don't know.

So tl;dr, the most frustrating part of writing this chapter is myself? I guess????

*Before anyone jumps in to whine about and/or laugh at this statement, I'm not saying "I want it to be a stucky fandom classic," or anything ridiculous like that. I literally just mean that I want the people who choose to read it to enjoy it enough to finish it and maybe have an emotionally positive experience from reading it.

**I also feel very. This is another dumb complaint that I know won't come across right, because internet, but -- I feel very like... separated from stucky fandom (in part because I'm a newer fan who came to the fandom after its heyday, in part because I don't like a lot of currently-popular fanons, in part because I am way too shy for Discord?) and I feel bad bugging uninterested people with thoughts/feelings about my own stories, so I've kind of just... stoppered up my excitement for this story for a long time. Also, an asshole ex-friend of mine straight-up told me that "stuckies are going to hate it because there isn't enough sex and it's really boring for being a fic, especially since it's Steve POV and not Bucky POV" and that just kind of made me feel like. I couldn't squee about the story. And it's HARD to write longfic and not feel like you can share it with people??? IDK. Stuff and thoughts. Whatever. etc.

[eclipsecrowned]

What other muses did you wish to add to your roster but never did? // @versin-surfin

There's a few OCs, for fandom or otherwise, that I flirted with adding but just... Allowed to fizzle out. Whether due to the communities not being worth it (fun fact! i have not one, not two, but three str*nger th*ngs ocs!) or there not being a community at all. (i honestly thought tsa was this but hey, rai's up and rolling now.)

As for some canons, there's a few that have similar backstories. Love my Dallas W*nston from 0utsiders, but fandom was legitimately the dregs of my fandom career. That, or I have muses that I feel I can't really add to the community by including? There's some characters I consider basically... They have the definitive take in my mutual's writing. I'd sooner let them shine than stand over here with my lil sock puppet version, you know? I'm not naming names on that front because I don't want to be seen as currying attention/pity or anything, it's genuinely just how my brain works. Also, occasionally, I have muses I can only comfortably handle with friends, usually due to themes involved that can get murky for me real fast.

Also, sometimes... People just get weird and I pull a muse from debuting. I feel safe saying this as everyone that mad-dogged me have since unfollowed and a few deactivated from what I've seen on my dash, but y'all might remember a year or two ago I was meant to add Al*card, not Tyri0n, to my muse list at the end of a goof poll for 'which of my sad dead moms gets their son added?' Dear readers I had people start dogpiling me, like, daily wanting me to fart out everything to get him up and running back when I was working full time and my dad was sick, all from people clearly angling to ship and trying to dictate to me how dynamics were going to go. This wasn't just my ongoing moots and friends who were excited for the character, this was a situation where I felt like I was being used just for a muse that wasn't on the page yet. Someone actually unfollowed after sending me a scathing dm claiming I never interacted or gave them effort -- despite my sending memes from other muses. Apparently if it wasn't the dhampir they wanted to slob knob on, it wasn't enough effort. It was weird. I may never muse him again.

[farmergilesofham]

The Vanguard Swimsuit Fic Part 6: Interlude

"...And you want me to clear this?" "Yessir."

The Guardian had always maintained a certain level of respect for Commander Zavala in their frequent interactions, one which had never truly extended to any other member of the Vanguard, Dark or otherwise. Confronted, once, on this point, they had said: "If I had your job, I'd have run away a thousand times by now." Little comfort for the commander now, as he sat beleaguered and worn out at his desk, flipping through the Guardian's unexpected proposal, maintaining the strained silence for a little longer. Oh, how Zavala had missed silence, these past few weeks.

Unfortunately, he could also see the right of it - the Eliksni Quarter was still in need of expansion, proper water diversion, irrigation, and a laundry list of other issues that needed to be solved sooner rather than later; the Dreaming City still remained a mercantile non-entity, only sending aid when it was deemed 'stricly necessary' by the Queen, and attempting to start up interplanetary trade chains with NeoMuna as the city still lay under siege was proving almost too much to handle. And, to top it all off, the Last City's morale had taken a sharp nose dive to an all-time low, given the persistence of the Witness' portal, and the unfortunate rise of rumours about Eris' recent transformation. Now, in a coincidence he may once have attributed to the Will of the Traveller, here lay an answer to all his problems, alongside a neat way to redistribute the pooled wealth of the vast number of Guardians active in the field for whom the Eververse and Ada's synthweave had never quite been desirable enough. The only question now would be getting the participants' permission in an appropriate manner; the marketing would handle itself, given the extensive reach of the guardians' many inter-planetary communications networks. Some of them still pinged data off defunct WAR-SATs, leaving net-traces which Master Rahool had submitted for Vanguard review some years prior. The thought of the lost dignity in doing this flitted through Zavala's mind, but was stamped down with the hard reality of the situation. And so, his attention returned to the official document of proposal. It could have been phrased a little better, but at least the Young Wolf had managed to keep any egregious spelling mistakes out.

"Fine. I will have the Cryptarchy run this out into a proper document, and then we'll set a date."

"But- but they'll tell everyone! You know how bad they are at keeping other people's secrets!"

Zavala smiled. Slayer of Gods or no, this Guardian still had a lot to learn about actually leading people, and using one's resources efficiently. He got out of his chair, and walked to the window, the bright reflections of sunlight throughout the City shining in his eyes.

"That is the point."

"Oh. Okay."

The silence stretched on a little longer, different this time.

"Hey so would you mind b--"

"I have already appended my signature. I will be there, if I have time."

"Oh."

The Guardian's face cracked into a smile, clearly visible even through their watery reflection on the window glass, mirroring the Commander's own as he turned back to face them. The Guardian leapt up, swung on their cloak, and skipped right out the office. From the end of the hall, barely heard in the echo, came a bright

"THANK YOU!"

The Commander sat back down, and sifted through another sheaf of papers. One of these days, he would have to get a new laser printer. But for now, the sun shone on those written words, and the old Titan felt, for the first time in days, quite content.

xxxxxxxxx

Hello and welcome to part 6! Or, part 5.5? Part \\//? Who knows!

Hope you enjoyed this. It's taken me a reeeeeeaaaaally long time to get back into writing these, and I cannot guarantee that part 7 will even come out this year. But.

See y'all next time. Bring a good coat, and a hat.

[queen-diamond-serenity]

The final pushing force that actually got Angelo Bronte killed

So we going to talk about something we going to clear something up a bit. Because the crowd that always want to talk about Dutch going crazy and shit you know I think you're reading to stuff way too much. And I feel like a lot of people that have a negative view on Dutch and the unreasonable way that they do is simply because these are the main people that played the first Red Dead Redemption that came out years before the second one. Y'all already have it in your mind and y'all have your minds made up about who y'all think Dutch is and y'all coming in with a negative view of him to begin with. So when you play the first game it's easy for you to say well I already saw Dutch for who he is in the beginning of the game because you were looking at him from the perspective of the first game. For those of us who never played the first game and walked into the second we don't have that sort of perception. But I think that's a conversation for another time. I need to just point one thing out. And while Dutch may have a bit of crazy in him and give him the circumstances he's under who the fuck wouldn't be. I'd say what really got Angelo Bronte killed was his mouth. Do y'all remember what this man kept saying to him? You could look at how irritated Dutch was getting with him.

Angelo Bronte made it very clear about how he felt Superior to Dutch. And even in his stupidity knowing he was captured by these outlaws couldn't help but keep rubbing that in his face. Y'all give Dutch such a hard time. Anybody in Dutch position would have killed Angelo Bronte a long time ago. But Dutch for whatever reason manipulative or otherwise was willing to work with this man and some kind of way after taking his prodigy son. I'm sorry was anybody else I know including myself would have not taken the kidnap of their child lightly. But they were willing to let things go and let things fly with this man for him to do what set them up to get killed and played games with them.

And then to add insult to injury he still ran his mouth talking shit to Dutch even insinuating that his own men would turn on him for $1,000 hence why Dutch said I possess things that you don't understand that you will never understand.

Angelo Bronte insisted to continue to talk his shit talking about how he run this city and that they're all what people are running from and just kept psychologically and verbally fucking with Dutch and you can see it in his face how fucking tired he was at everybody. Tired of the pinkertons hated the fact that the Braithwaite and Gray situation went soured away it went.

Angelo Bronte insulted Dutch's intelligence and made a fool out of him. And when they were on that boat I didn't get the impression that Dutch was actually going to kill him. Until he started running his mouth talking shit and there it was his head going under water. Angela Bronte running his mouth and kept fucking with Dutch is what got his ass killed. Of course among other things. Go look at the video on the boat when they were having that whole conversation and you can see the anger just growing more and more in Dutch's face. If his ass would have sat quiet and be humble he probably would have had a chance to live and they probably would have used them for some type of ransom. But no he wanted to run his mouth and talk shit crying about how he run this town and so head honcho in town. Well Dutch proved him no matter how much money and swag he had it couldn't save him from a bunch of Outlaws that he deemed lower than him.

So with this being said Dutch going crazy no longer works here even if he was going mad which I believe he was we can't use that for a soul purpose to demonize Dutch. I can understand why Angelo Bronte got killed. I know many that would have killed him sooner. But let me shut up cuz you know y'all like to look at Dutch apologist like we make excuses. No we just see things for what they are. Y'all came in playing Red Dead Redemption 2 after playing the first one looking at Dutch like the bad guy regardless. That's why y'all can't see him the way we see him. But I digress. I simply digress.

Rewatch this video and you'll see exactly what I'm saying.

Like I said he should have kept his mouth shut! And he might have not became an alligators late night snack.😂😂😂

My grandmother once told me a quiet tongue makes a civilized head. And when I look at this clip over and over I begin to realize and see what she really meant by this not that I didn't understand it before but that proverb really hits home in this situation. My grandmother had a saying for everything.😅

[hagoftheholler]

Personal life update - read under the cut.

It's been a couple weeks since I moved. I was able to move sooner than originally expected, though it came with some small inconveniences that were eventually sorted out. I've settled into my new space- though it's smaller than what I originally had and I'll admit it is far from fancy. It is mine, though, and that's all I care about.

I spend most mornings chopping wood in preparation for winter and my afternoons crocheting or reading in hopes of making the time pass with the summer heat. If the heat is just too much I nap through it. Did I mention I'm living without electricity or plumbing? We have a generator, though we only use it when we need to charge Dewalt batteries. It's not totally "primitive" out here, though my step-grandfather would argue otherwise. His words, "I don't do primitive" so he stayed in a hotel when he visited before. He's a funny man but he would never be able to live a life like this.

I've been working on changing service providers so that I can at least get signal out here. Y'all wouldn't believe how challenging that's been. It's also why I've been so quiet. Don't worry though, I've been using notes preparing some content for y'all.

I've also chosen to take the rest of the year for a sorta spiritual journey of sorts. Rethinking things, looking inward. You know the drill. Not sure how much of that I'll be sharing, if anything. Some of it is personal and some of it is just typical quarter life crisis I guess.

We have two kittens- Oliver and Bandit. Oliver is a nervous fellow, but he's sweet. Bandit's name fits him well, and his middle name is trouble. He's as adorable as it gets but it comes with a small amount of evil. I've been training Bandit, and he's got sit and paw down good. Next on the list is lay down and harness training. He may not be as civilized as his brother but he'll at least be a charming outlaw. I'm not training Oliver just because he's so anxious over small things. Idk what happened to him before we got him but if I ever find who treated him poorly, I will rain hellfire on them.

The final point I'd like to leave off on is I'm doing better. Much, much better than I had been throughout this year. Y'all wouldn't believe the feeling of relief you can get when you remove yourself from places that leave you feeling exhausted, pissed off, and depressed for years on end.

[proteanderg]

Rambles ahead

Between some things happening in my personal life and everything going on with Tumblr, I've thought a good bit about my art and how I want to proceed on social media (tumblr, cohost, whatever else). I've collected my thoughts below, TL:DR at the bottom.

Even with the opt-out in place, I don't feel too comfortable uploading finished art on Tumblr anymore. It wouldn't be the first company to lie or use loopholes to get around this sort of thing, so I want to be careful. I'll still upload sketches and and textposts here since I'm less concerned over those, but anything more than a doodle will be posted just to Cohost for now.

As for the Squeakification drive, I'll be ending it sooner than expected for a couple reasons:

- One, I'm not sure if tumblr will even last long enough to finish it at this point. I'd rather finish it early than leave it undone.

- Two, I honestly got in a bit over my head, and can feel my creativity starting to be stifiled by being locked into it for the next 16 months. I should have clamped the time to a shorter period, and probably shouldn't have included most of stage 10. I just got excited without fully concidering what it would mean to have it go for so long. I still enjoy it currently, but can already feel the toll it would take otherwise.

That being said, I'm going to finish it with a bang. I'll detail what this means in a later post, but get your silly ideas ready if you want to help me finish it off~

Finally, I'm going to focus more on drawing whatever I want to instead of reigning myself in on some ideas because I feel like I'd be the only one who likes it. I like what I have been drawing recently, don't get me wrong! I just mean I don't want to feel obliged to draw or not draw anything in particular. Art won't be drastically different, just a bit weirder or niche at times. If people enjoy it, great! If not, whatever

(Note: This is *NOT* a shift into fetishy/NSFW territory. I'm not into anything I draw like that, I just find TF/Inflatables/etc fun to draw. I'll be sure to mark/tag anything that seems close to that line just in case)

Thank y'all for reading, and thanks for enjoying my art and stuff~

TL:DR: Only sketches will be posted on Tumblr, finished pieces and anything else will be posted only to Cohost. The squeakification drive will be ending short for a couple reasons, but I intend to finish with a bang. Gunna start drawing more of what makes me happy, but overal content won't change too much.

[ogcoon]

Semi-Emergency Comissions!!

Hey y'all! I'm going to be in a bit of a pinch coming up with my medical insurance. Come my birthday (Septmber 19) I will be aged out of my parents' insurance. I planned to go on public aid with my wife, but the government lost some of our papers and waited until last week to tell us this (we applied in early June). My wife doesn't work enough hours to get medical insurance through work so we basically have to just wait until public aid gets approved. At the moment, everything important will be covered, but if I don't get approved before mid October, we will run out of money to cover doctors and meds. The cherry on the top is that my father might be losing his job any day now (long story short: he got a dui as a professional truck driver) so I might need this money sooner than later. I will update when it becomes urgent, but I'd rather have the money beforehand.

I'm not asking for hand outs however (yet). I will be offering as much art as I can for this. I'm taking unlimited commissions until I get public aid. If I end up not needing the money (here's hoping), I will put everything towards my top surgery savings so it'll all go towards something medical.

For money amounts, I don't know how much it will be all together, but my appointment would be $125 for just going in and my medicine is usually with coverage another $100. However, if I have to pay out of pocket for the medicine, goodrx says just 1 medicine (my most important one) is gonna be close to $1,500. That's more than my wife makes in a month and a half. I doubt I'd get that much in commissions anyway, but I'll try my damnest.

Comission info is under the read more. Please reblog this if you can. DM me if you want something.

Additions:

Shading: +$1 for pixel, +$3 for non pixel

Pride flag background, colored lines, simple background: free

Complex background, lineless: ask

Simple design: -$1

Will do:

Furry (anthro and feral), any species, closed species, character interaction, pokemon, fan art/characters

Won't do:

Humans, anything hateful, machines, anime style or characters

Additional notes:

All pixel art can be any shot style without a price increase (example, a 150x150 fully body is the same price as a 150x150 headshot). If you don't specify that you want pixel art, I will assume you want my normal art style instead.

I will finish the drawing within a week, unless said otherwise. However, I don't draw Tuesdays or Thursdays.

[aerialworms]

Writing update!

So! Since I finally finished posting Watching Over You (Hooray!!!! Yippee!!!!!), I can focus on finishing my other destiel WIPs! I did a poll a little while back to determine what my next fic should be, and the result was The Wrong Avalon, my BBC Merlin/SPN crossover, tied with my demon Dean fic.

However, my Star Trek brainworms have come back with full force, and I'm tempted to bash out the first fic in the Tales From The USS Impala series (I've already written the second and third ones) before I lose interest in it again. Plus, I started live-writing a silly Dean-and-Cas-go-to-couples-therapy-without-realising-its-couples-therapy fic over in the Profound Bond discord server that I feel bad about leaving half-finished.

Also, I'm gonna do Camp NaNoWriMo in July, and I need to decide on a project/goal for that. I'd like to write every day, and I might set my daily word count to 100/day, since I did 50/day in April Camp and that went pretty well.

So, I think my plan for the next month or so is this:

Bash out a discord message's worth of the therapy fic at least once a day until I finish it or July Camp starts, whichever's sooner

Reread/replot the demon dean fic (it was supposed to be a oneshot but it grew a plot and now I've gotta get a chainsaw and trim it back into coherency)

July Camp:

Goal: 100 words per day, every day of Camp

Write Rose by any other name (star trek au) first draft OR finish writing the demon dean fic depending on what makes my brain go brrr

Reread/double-check plot for Wrong Avalon (words don't count for NaNo)

Think up a title for the therapy fic, maaaaaybe edit and post it (otherwise I'll edit + post after Camp)

Also, would you lot be interested if I posted snippets/writing updates? I'm aware 99% of my blog is just reblogging memes and fanart but if people are interested I can keep y'all posted on how my WIPs are going.

[jojotichakorn]

Hello, Archer and the roundtable !

I couldn't appear sooner at the Roundtable bcz I needed time to take in everything and also bcz I had class today. (yes, on Christmas Day : No Holiday for us 🙂)

Yk what ? I'm just gonna stop coming up with theories now . I have never been this wrong in my life and it immensely hurts my ego .

*takes a deep breath* SO , everything about this episode was super fluffy (As we you expected) and i loved it too like most of us so im not gonna talk about that . What i wanna talk about is the one thing that's been bothering me , and you probably have already guessed it : it's Wai . I just don't know how to feel about everything that happened?? I can't seem to make up my mind on Wai's position now? Is he really trying to make up for his asshole-ness or does he have an ulterior motive? And honestly, i still feel like he's gonna flip any moment? I am not saying what he did was not worth anything, it was to some extent , but i feel like there's a but in there somewhere? I wish I'm wrong tho .

It also might be my trust issues but i hope you understand what I'm trying to say ? My apologies if I'm being incoherent but i had to get this out and the safest place for me to do that is here .

Ps. When Operanon said smth like 'leave the roundtable alone' to me in their last ask , my first thought was that i did smth wrong/ I'm being annoying and my anxiety went 📈 while I started mentally checklisting all the things i might have done wrong . It took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize that it was perhaps a joke related to me saying smth about flipping tables in my last ask LOL. (Now if I'm still wrong then this is gonna be much too embarrassing for me to handle).

Anyway, @ Operanon, while i appreciate your confidence in your ability to unmask me , i think it might not be as easy as you think. But I'd love to see you try . I'll reveal what i think are everyone's positions at the Roundtable if you are able to correctly deduce any fact about me .

(But out of all the anons i probably reveal the least about myself so unless I forget to press the anonymous button, which has the highest chance of being the reason for my revelation, only Archer has a chance of unmasking me ) *winks*

PPs, When did y'all unmask Reliable Anon ? I only know about Song rec anon? ( And @song rec anon , God i can't believe you thought u aren't part of the roundtable? You are literally the first member? We all love you .)

Also , *gasps dramatically* y'all have a GC i didn't know about ?!?!? I'm wounded.

PPPs. The feminine urge to send memes and cute animal videos to the roundtable ( specially you Archer ) bcz it's my love language and i love y'all.

PPPPs. I think im the youngest of the roundtable and i hope I'm right.

(Sorry for too many PSs Archer. Thank you for putting up with me)

Have a good day (or night) !!

Unreliable Anon

hello, dearest unreliable anon!!

yikes to classes on christmas, fuck whoever made that decision :/ never worry about not appearing too often tho, we all totally understand that life gets in the way!!

also, your theories are valid ok? there are just millions of ways in which something can go. i, however, can't help but be very "i told you so" about the episode being fluffy. i completely understand your feelings about wai, and i still wouldn't put it past him to have ulterior motives (pa-related, perhaps?). we shall see what happens next.

re: p.s. - you are NOT being annoying at all, you are absolutely lovely and delightful and we love that you are here. it was definitely one of operanon's famous puns!

also, i do want to say that if y'all ever want to unmask yourselves and go off anon, you will need to tell me specifically, because otherwise, i would never post your meant-to-be-on-anon asks that you accidentally sent off-anon.

re: p.p.s. - we did not unmask reliable anon, we just know they are australian, which they ended up telling us after i pointed out that they said "do a runner", which is something only specific to a number of english dialects.

and sorry, but we don't have a gc with the roundtable! i only know the true identities of two people out of the entire roundtable, and i am in one group chat, but it's not connected to the roundtable.

re: p.p.p.s. - drop memes into my inbox any time, honestly <3

re: p.p.p.p.s. - that would make you 18 or less *detective senses intensify*

and thank you so much for stopping by, love!! "putting up" is absolutely incorrect, i love talking to you!!