#or: ven is a sap that's easily swept up by old memories

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Oh look, a sap rant for my 250th post here

//Just me being nostalgic and ranty under the cut.//

So i decided to look back through my old blog and relive all the shit that happened years ago in this fandom and--I’ve literally laughed from all the bullshit (does anyone remember the war? Boys v. Girls there were pegasi and powers and peace was finally reached because of Jason’s abs) and cried from all teh angst (death memes, anti-hero/villain verses, a muse watching the other get tortured but ‘if you make a sound I’ll move to them until they make a sound or one of you dies.’ The gods au where they like. Succeeded the gods of olympus. Remember how early in THAT cluster fuck of feels it was a thing that Piper and Jason couldn’t have a kid because despite now being gods their human genes still made it impossible for the child to survive on Olympus? Cause I do. Among many other painful things) and--

I swear those were golden years to me. There were so many of us and we were all one big happy family (literally at a few points. Still remember polyship hcs) and I swear the depth I got out of almost every interaction (and the laughs that would leave me wheezing from all the CRACK. Never forget that Naruto M!A) was something--is something I can honestly say I’d never been a part of in any other fandom. Maybe it was because Piper was by far the most well known and well loved muse I’d ever had (sorry Giotto but it’s true). Maybe it was because I just met the right people at the right time and found the most brilliant writers by some rare and brilliant fortune.

I still remember and cherish what Cap did for this blog when I first started out. Not only was Pit one of the nearest and dearest muses to Piper’s heart [and he still is] but the mun? That sweet angel was possibly the reason I met such wonderful people like Nat and Daisy and Jessalyn and so many others in the first place. If Cap hadn’t told me to check out Nat’s Jason (at that time the url was...invenustum or something right? I feel like there was another url before that one but i can’t remember for sure...) it might not have been until much later that I stumbled across her and the others--and there is the distinct possibility I never would have become their friends or a member of their social group. I love them to pieces but I know if I hadn’t been introduced to Nat when and the way I was I would’ve been far too intimidated to message any of the lovely people I met afterwards down the line. So I do give a lot of credit for some of my best memories to Cap and Pit because who knows where I would’ve been without that little segway/push?

And then there’s everyone that followed. Contributing to Nat’s mass conversion of all those who entered her territory into Jasiper shippers. Late night talks with Jessalyn about muses, love, and life in general. Jokes and feels with Daisy about Leo and Piper’s most glorious of friendships (and possibility of Leo actually liking and contemplating confessing to Piper before Jason was inserted into their lives and memories) and Leo’s own insecurities and troubles. Angst, angst and more angst from out pain queen creampuff Virginia. Constant support and love from the owner of the pet shop this chinchilla lived in prior to Daisy and Nat adoption (also known as Lexi) and her beautiful OC Jasmine that was the best sister-in-law.

SASSY. PERCY. FOR DECADES. AND PIPER AND PERCY BROTP. Octavian and Piper’s hate/empathetic relationship (its though, loving the same guy). Random crossovers with Harry Potter characters and even Secret Saturdays. All of Piper’s beloved sibilings whether canon or OC. Her beautiful children that lord knows how many people contributed to the making of and later penned by people as amazing as Lexi and Bean (and Jason being the last to know when Junior was conceived. Followed by concerns like “WAIT YO’LL STRETCH THE BABY.”) The list goes on and on. No matter how it happened I still feel blessed to have been accepted by such genuinely kind and beautiful people, supported by so many others whose names I may never know, and crafted memories and experiences that I hope will stay with them for as long as they stay with me.

Many of those friends have moved on to places unknown, but hopefully full of shining prospects and joy. I will always remember the things they’ve done for me--the joy they’ve given me, the insights I had never once considered, the strength to keep moving forward and find a smile no matter how down life got me (whether they knowingly provided it or not)--and I can only hope that even if they don’t remember this chinchilla’s name or anything about our interactions, that at the very least should they think back to their time here with us, I will have provided at least some measure of a pleasurable feeling they can associate with those times. I know they have for me.

As sad as it can be to think about, even those that have been here through the highs and lows, the pops and dwindling of this fandom, won’t be here forever. As many good memories as I have here I know I won’t. As iconic and relieving at Nat, Daisy, and Lexi’s presences on the dash are whenever I return from another unnanounced months long hiatus, one day they won’t be here either. Whether it be days, months, or years from now, I know that one day I’ll log into this account not to roleplay, but to simply remember some of the shining days of my youth these people created. I’d be there knowing all those role models and dear friends have moved on to (hopefully) better places and found contentment in their lives. I’d look to their blogs not to hope that they’ve come back, but to look once more at their final farewell (or last post before they logged off and simply never logged back in) and maybe recount just what they meant to me, and how much that last post means. It’s my sincerest hope and dream to keep in contact with everyone. It’s my must crushing thought to know there’s a chance I won’t (its funny how much people I’ve never even met in person mean to me though). 

I’m sorry--this post took a bit of a sad turn (I know I’m crying at least because I’m just a sap like that), but it wasn’t necessarily meant to be such. It’s just all that reminiscing fills me with a longing for days not likely to return, and feelings that both ache and comfort. I’ll miss those days and people like I miss so many others presently.

But those days may be gone, but there’s still plenty more ahead of us, no? I don’t know how much longer this will last. How many more days I’ll get to log on to the beautifully written prose, and the earnest feelings of love we share for these fictional characters that brought us all together and one another. I don’t know when the last day I or any of my dear friends (the last of my first partners here) make a post will be, or even if there will be a final, heartfelt goodbye to go with it. If I’m being honest I kind of doubt that. Because nothing ever comes out final on tumblr, in my experience. We all part with the message and hope of returning, but with a small whisper from our heart of hearts that tells us we won’t. That the real hope of ever meeting any of those lovely people on the dashboard again would have to be from a chance meeting in that vast outside world we all occupy, or some shining and vague theory of an after life. I don’t know when it’ll come. None of us do.

But until it does happen, I want to continue making memories that’ll follow me forever. I want to write more lines and stumble across more life lessons I hadn’t known I was missing. I want those golden days of the past to shine and slither onto today and everyday after that we’ll share together. I want feelings from sources I may only remember vaguely (or even not at all) when I’m old but still treasure, and names of people I can remember crafting and sharing these blessed, transient days and nights with. I want this blog and my previous one to exist forever--for tumblr to never shut down if only to ensure that these pure, rich, glorious, life changing posts and people will remained forever enshrined with me somewhere. So that even if I should one day forget these things, it doesn’t mean they never happened. That there’s still proof of the times we had and the bonds we shared and posts that may hopefully, one day , make others laugh and cry as we did.

I want this blog--I want Piper and everything and everyone that’s ever touched it, her, me, to live on and be a part of my legacy. These were and still are such defining years of my life and no matter when they come to an end, I never want them to vanish. And I hope you all want that too. I selfishly desire for you to cherish these days and threads and asks as much if not more than I do. For mine to be a name you can recall years later and smile about what I may have left you with.

So hi, my name is Kjirstin Noelle. Commonly known here as Ven or The Chinchilla, I am a 19 year old college student majoring in Media Production that also writes. My dream is to be an actress, or at least contribute majorly to the mass media and entertainment field. I want to star in or produce movies that move and shape others younger than me the same way similar media shaped me. I hope to one day write a book that others can relate to and hold as close as I did the PJO and HoO books and many others like them. I want to create characters and visions that people would want to roleplay the same way Rick Rioridan has for us. I want my works, no matter the platform, to shake and bring people together. To bring them to tears and inspire them to one day do the same.

And more than anything I want to be able to credit any future success I may be met with, to these days on these accounts (and others across many fandoms) and the friends and ideas that formed here. More than anything, I want to carry you all with me and implant the pieces of you that will always linger even after our final farewells, into everything I make, so that one day, those very thoughts and feelings will find their way to another person, and we can ALL know it started here. With me, with you, with friends and ideas come and gone. With forgotten conversations and unforgettable years of tears and joy. So that someone inspired by the things YOU ALL helped me make may want to come back to these accounts and all those related to them, and see for themselves where it all started. To witness the growth we all evoked from one another and keep the memories of days long gone alive when we no longer can.

So. Let’s get writing guys. The history we all will share is already being written, and the works I want to make it into won’t find inspiration from nothing. I look forward to many more threads, head canons, asks, tears, laughter, crack, angst and everything in between with friends both old, present, and not yet made. I love you all, and while this isn’t a yet a goodbye, it is a declaration of everything our time has and will mean to me.