#or when everyone decides to converse in the most awkward configurations possible

[thebramblewood]

Lu and Bonnie held a low-key bach party at The Oak Barrel. The attendees were mostly locals Bonnie's known since childhood, but Lu's friend, Lily Feng, was able to come in from the city. Lily wasn't sure about the "quaintness" of Chestnut Ridge's customs at first, but soon enough she was cowpoke dancing like a pro. Lu and Bonnie also made sure to sneak plenty of private moments together (thus defeating the entire purpose of a bach party).

Oh, yeah. Horse girl Lilith showed up too but promptly stormed off when she realized she wasn't the star of this particular show.

[bigskydreaming]

Tom is already rehashing some things, like too many homages to the nineties run, Zucco's daughter plot point, Beatrice had ideas for societal reform he's taking that and giving it to Dick. It'll probably be half hearted, but it stings that Beatrice left just a few issues ago and she's already completely forgotten for the sake of DickBabs or a love triangle.

Like the thing about the nineties runs is I mean, as much flack as we give various elements of them, there’s so much from that time period that was good? Great, even! Just....myself and the writers seem to have very different opinions on what the most interesting elements of the nineties comics were, oh well.

And omgggggg I’m still so mad about Bea, and its literally Shawn Tsang all over again. The writers keep introducing new, interesting characters, investing just enough time and focus into them to have us interested in them and wanting to see more.....and then they toss them aside to go back to drawing from the same well as always.

And the thing is, this isn’t even about me not really being a Dick/Babs shipper, because honestly, I’m not enjoying the Dick/Kory stuff in what I’ve seen of Titans Academy either, and for the exact same reason:

When they create new characters like Shawn and Bea, they KNOW they’re starting from scratch and need to build interest in those characters from the ground up. So they’re forced to put their best foot forward. There’s no short cut there, if you want people to care about a brand new character you have to give them REASONS to care. You have to make those characters likable, you have to make people WANT to root for them, you have to hook them with intriguing backstories that don’t feel formulaic and new angles that don’t feel just derivative of older characters, and that’s how we got stuff like Shawn’s history as a former sidekick to a villain and now running a support group for rogues trying to turn their lives around, and Bea’s work in societal reform.

But then the second they stop having the patience to build the new characters up enough that the interest in them can actually start to reach the levels that lets older characters last and grants longevity....they just toss them aside and move on....except they never really move on, just backwards. Because the problem with so MANY superhero couples, far from just Dick and Babs or Dick and Kory, is just....how lazy it seems to make so many canon writers. They just fall back on rehashing the same old tropes and just updating popular moments that resonated with fans in the past, now just recreated with a slightly more modern twist but without ever really being anything new. 

Even with ships that I’ve never really been sold on in the past like Dick/Babs, I’ve always said, there’s usually nothing stopping me from GAINING interest in them.....its just....the writers have to GIVE ME A REASON TO. And so many of DC’s writers just aren’t even trying. They’re just moving parts around and pushing characters together in various arrangements like everyone’s just a puzzle piece that you can mix and match however you want......and then just basically expecting readers to be interested purely because of who the characters are, or because it hinges on a nice moment that they then milk the hell out of without ever expanding that into building actual STORY around these moments but rather just squeezing each one til they get everything they possibly can out of it and moving on to the next as though its all just about chasing the next soundbite...because it is! LOL.

And honestly, this problem extends far beyond just the Nightwing title or the Batfam or Taylor’s run or writing in particular.....its a company wide issue right now. In fact I would bet just about anything that its a matter of editorial edict, that even before Taylor started his run DC said okay here’s the approach we want everyone taking with their stories right now:

And that’s like.....its all about banking on nostalgia and the comfort of the familiar right now. I think Taylor is drawing all these elements straight from the 90s Nightwing comics, like Blockbuster and Dick having been a cop, etc, because these are the elements of past Nightwing stories that are so well known. Its the same reasoning behind why they put Tim back as Robin and so many of their new characters are just new spins on old faves like Punchline and Harley Quinn, and why they’re pushing all these older ships that haven’t been together in ages and why specific team lineups are reappearing....its because nostalgia is the name of the game for DC right now, and all their writers are just pulling together threads of classic stories that have stood the test of time, figuring anything that landed particularly well with fans in the past will sell with people here and now, and weaving these threads together and brushing over them with a modern social issues veneer. 

As an approach, its basically all just about repackaging previously successful story moments and elements with just enough changes or in just new enough a configuration that readers aren’t likely to complain en masse that like “hey we literally already read all this. We’ve already BOUGHT these issues. When we were kids.” Its minimizing creative risk while maximizing monetary profit. Spend as little creative capital as possible outside of anything that’s already been successful in the past and as such is a relatively proven quantity, instead of testing new material that’s an unknown and runs the risk of falling flat and thus not being profitable.

And see, I’d almost guarantee that all THAT, that whole line-wide approach to DC’s storytelling, is because the powers that be looked at the last several years of stories and how many of THEM fell flat with readers, and decided that the problem was they’d BEEN trying too much new stuff and readers just didn’t like it. Because they WERE concentrating on presenting totally new stories and building up new ideas throughout their books.....but readers have been pretty vocal for years now about being disenchanted with most of DC’s major stories. And so DC I think looked at that and came to the conclusion that okay, people just don’t want new right now, they want the familiar.

But like.....DC’s problem IMO was never that they were trying new stuff? The reason so much of their new and original storylines weren’t gaining traction or bringing in readers and kept shedding old readers had absolutely NOTHING to do with them being new and previously unseen storylines, which makes falling back on nostalgia very much a non-solution to entirely the wrong problem.

No, DC’s problem for years has been that they’ve been all about spectacle instead of story. There’s ZERO emotional pay-off to any of their biggest plot twists or character beats, and emotion is LITERALLY what people read stories for. Its all about racing to the climactic action packed finish of every storyline and then immediately resetting everyone back to square one and jumping straight into the next big story, without ever giving the events of any of their stories time or reason to MATTER to the characters.....and if they don’t matter to the characters, our proxies that we’re viewing these stories through, then why should any of it matter to us? Why should any of it linger, dig in roots, resonate with us as moments that left an impact and that we accordingly want more of?

And again, like because I’m a Dick Grayson focused blog I’ve obviously largely been focused on how much I dislike the SPECIFIC reactions or non-reactions to so many of the major beats in his stories.....but it was spread throughout their entire line.

Bruce and Selina almost got married....but why should anyone care outside of Tom King’s title when nobody else seems to, no other characters feel anything about this, and Bruce in none of his other appearances seems the same as ever without any reminder that he just almost got married but then didn’t.....and if the characters don’t ever seem to be affected by or feeling a need to revisit or reflect on recent stories, why should we bother remembering them either? 

Jason was dramatically and fucked-upily (yes its a word, I totally looked it up and everything) exiled from Gotham....and then all of that is undone in a single issue with one low-stakes awkward conversation between him and Bruce. Damian quits as Robin and goes off the map and everyone in his family is like “hey don’t we have a littler brother, I feel like we did maybe” for one panel per story arc, and that’s it. Roy’s back from the dead and everybody’s like oh hey cool instead of the kind of return we used to get like when Donna came back and everyone was like oh shit, this MATTERS, because we MISSED you....just like Dick’s death never mattered to anyone but fans of his character because much like I was just saying earlier with them not really giving me a reason TO emotionally invest in Dick and Babs’ relationship if I wasn’t already, same thing with the aftermath of Forever Evil. They didn’t give anyone else reason to emotionally invest in that as something that HAPPENED to Dick and that he was AFFECTED by....because the writers didn’t bother writing him as all that affected by it and it was just like oh he’s a spy now, all that was last year’s content, we’ve moved on, keep up.

And on and on it goes. Ric Grayson was the same problem all over again. Rinse and repeat down the line with everyone from Wally to Donna and etc etc etc.

THAT’S why DC’s stories have been falling flat. It has nothing to do with people not being interested in new ideas, characters or directions, its that’s ALL they were giving us, but it was like just reading wiki summaries of events just alongside pretty art, but no real emotional weight or substance to anything we were reading....and thus, literally nothing that we couldn’t get much the same outcome from if we just...stuck to reading wiki summaries after the stories were over, with no real need to follow along with them. For years most fans have basically just been about keeping up to date with changes in the characters’ lives, but without feeling any real need to watch those changes unfold and play out.

And so honestly I worry we’re just gonna be subjected to a company wide rehashing of old and familiar storylines, directions and character beats, but repackaged and delivered in the exact same way DC was delivering us their new stories and ideas these past years....and its basically going to have the same results, because its the same problem. They didn’t actually fix anything by switching gears, they just shuffled around the actual issue.

And DC’s just gonna be like well now wtf are we doing wrong, we were so sure this would work, everyone LOVES nostalgia right? Did we pick the wrong stories and character beats to bring back?

When really its like......it honestly doesn’t matter WHICH stories and beats they rehash, because its not about them picking the ‘right ones,’ the real keepers, the stories that everyone really WAS eager to see brought back or made new again.....

Its about like, the only reason any of those stories or beats or dynamics stood the test of time and are still familiar and well-known....is because the stories AROUND those moments and ideas gave us reason to emotionally invest in them and retain them as crucial to our view of the characters and things that would resonate and stay with us for a long time.

It was never that any of those ideas or stories were just so innately brilliant that they couldn’t help BUT linger in the overall reader consciousness...it was the fact that we CARED about what happened in those moments and stories.

*Shrugs* But I mean hey, what do I know? I’m just a dude on the internet lolol. 

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

I had a cluster of messages still in my inbox, so rather than responding to them piecemeal as I originally was thinking of doing, I’m going to consolidate them here. Especially since so many of them contain Baghdad Waltz spoilers.

For those interested, my new fic (so close to having a title!) is going to be posting probably next weekend, so stay tuned for that. See this spoiler-free post for more information, if you missed it.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING OF BW

Ah yeah, it’s only still open because I need to add a list of works consulted, which will be another chapter in the timeline I think. But there won’t be any more actual story content. I’m sorry!

I would really like to think that Steve stays in touch with Winnie. I imagine that when he and Bucky broke up before he went to West Point, he drifted away from her and went all lone wolf. But I think that spreading his mother’s ashes is the beginning of his healing process with his maternal attachment issues, so I want to imagine a future where he values his relationship with Winnie and takes steps to keep himself and Ethan in her life. He knows what Ethan means to her, and Steve has been as good as one of her own children for a large part of his life. I imagine Winnie making a promise to Sarah to watch over Steve after she died, and I believe she would take that responsibility very seriously. I deeply enjoy my fantasies about Winnie and Ethan having a relationship, just as I sincerely want her and Steve to retain a sense of family together - even if it might be a bit complicated. 

As for Bucky (or Steve) potentially dating other people, yes, this could be a bit awkward for everyone! I imagine there would be a bit of distance right after the breakup. But I also really believe in my heart of hopeful hearts that Bucky and Steve will remain friends, regardless of whether or not they ever get back together - possibly even best friends. They worked well in this configuration before, better in some ways than when their relationship became romantic. And if they were to move on to other people (I have given myself permission to see multiple ultimate endings for them), I like to imagine that they would be happy for each other, perhaps bittersweetly, but sincerely.

Those are just my thoughts.

I have, of course, wondered about where their lives have led them. I’ve pleasantly imagined them getting back together in a few years, after they’ve done substantial work on themselves, and living a happy, relatively stable life together. I’ve also fondly imagined them doing this same work and then going on to meet other people while remaining in each other’s lives as friends (my beta and I have had many long conversations over the kinds of people they might end up with, in this case). I care most about them as individuals, if that’s not abundantly clear, but I see so much potential for them to remain close in whatever way they do. I’m sorry if that’s not a satisfying answer, but I feel content knowing that they are both on the path to being the best people they can be; whatever that means for their relationship is kind of secondary to me.

Thank you so much for the kind words! I’m very glad that you enjoyed it so much, and thank you for sticking with it so long!

I am hoping that they were actually being honest when they said that they wanted to still be there for each other and that they would continue to love each other. It was never intended to close the door on them immediately or in the future. But I do imagine that they would probably take some time to cool off (Steve moving, Bucky reconfiguring his daily routine without Steve in it) and then later resume more regular communication. Whatever happens after that is completely up to the imagination, I suppose!

I have a couple points to make about this:

I’m willing to bet that most Stucky fanfiction involving traumatized or otherwise severely struggling characters gives them a happy ending together. This is just the nature of the Stuckyverse. I think that’s why an ending like this one is such an oddity. This ending was not written for the purpose of making it an outlier; I just came to realize that this is the only end I could have written for these characters without doing an “xx years later…” epilogue like so many fics do. And I didn’t want an epilogue, because I honestly don’t know for sure what lives they might choose when they are in better places individually. I wanted to imagine a vaster world of possibilities for them rather than just landing them back at their home airport safely and calling it a day. But because the expectation in the fandom is “End of the Line” (and, to be fair, because of expectations I laid for readers in earlier days when I thought this was going to go differently), I think this ending feels even more jarring that it might have otherwise been for some folks. Honestly, I’m happy to be able to provide something alternative to lend more variety to a fandom that can sometimes feel a bit over-saturated.

As for hope, I’m not sure if I could offer a more hopeful proposition than to grant these characters the chance to heal from their trauma and loss and to give them the freedom to live in accordance with what they value most. Of their own volition to boot, not because they were forced by external circumstance. Bucky needs to deeply heal from his abuse, Steve needs to really grieve for his mother and connect with the most important person in his life - Ethan. And these goals are simply not compatible with the nature of their current relationship, which I think could easily be labeled as highly loving but also very unhealthfully codependent, if not toxic. I also deliberately left the door open for a future for them as a couple, if readers want to give them that.

So, I’m sorry this ending felt like such a disappointment to you. Although this story doesn’t follow the EOTL recipe, it’s still my hope that a majority of readers can find something valuable and meaningful in this story as told. But I cannot please everyone and have kind of given up trying.

I’m so pleased to know that these characters felt so real to you and that the story has left an impact on you. I honestly did plan for this to be a pretty typical Stucky story at the start, but it really became much more of a Bucky and Steve story (to the chagrin of some). I’ve spent so much time thinking about them, building their backstories, understanding their psychologies, and it’s been so rewarding to write them taking this journey, unplanned as much of it was. This has been a WIP in every sense of the word for me, taking me to places I never meant to go but was excited to visit once we got there.

Thanks again for the feedback! This is great to know.

--------

For those who have given me feedback about wanting the ending specifically tagged to better prepare future readers (a step I really want to avoid for spoilers’ sake): I hear you, I do. I have just revised the pre-fic notes to more specifically shape expectations for what this story is going to be like - including the ending. I really do appreciate people sharing their concerns about this, and I hope you find the compromise to be a reasonable middle ground. (EDIT: I’ve also decided that the tag “bittersweet ending,” which I just added, is reflective of the overall nature of the ending without being specifically spoiler-y.)

Thank you to everyone for all of the great asks and the support! I’ve started working on responding to comments in Ao3, so if you sent me something there, hopefully you will be hearing from me soon!

[maraudersandlily20]

The Only Gay I Know

Lily would not shut up. And not in her usual, quirky Lily way where she would get on a subject she found interesting and wouldn’t shut up about it until she knew everything. No, this was the obnoxious way, when she got concerned for one of her friends and would keep talking about them even when everyone else had moved on.

Sirius loved Lily. She was one of the kindest, happiest people Sirius knew. She was protective over him and fought for him and was everything a friend ought to be. Since she had decided that the marauders might be worth friendship, they had all been stuck together like glue. There were very few times in their friendship that Sirius wanted Lily to sod off. This was one of them.

“I’m just so worried for her. She hasn’t gotten out of bed all day, hasn’t eaten anything. She just sits there, looking homeless, and she won’t talk about it. I don’t know what to do. She didn’t even care for him that much, according to her.”

“Lils,” James pleaded. “We know that Marlene is having a hard time. But there’s nothing we can do about it now. Will you please focus on something else for the rest of the day until we get back to the common room?”

Lily pouted and Sirius snickered, messing up her hair. She growled and smacked his hand away. While the group continued on to configurations, Sirius let himself consider Marlene for a second.

It had been rather random occurrence yesterday when Lily had approached her friends and announced that Marlene and her boyfriend of two months, Darrin Carmichael, had split up. She was shaken by the termination of her friend’s relationship, having been so convinced that they had been meant for each other. Sirius didn’t care much for Darrin, who was one of the most pompous Ravenclaws in their year, but he had kept his opinions to himself, knowing that Marlene really liked him. At least, she said she did.

She had been acting strange the past few days. Her normal, open manner suddenly closed in on itself and she could barely look anyone in the eyes. Marlene was known for her brash, feminine attitude, and being open with her thoughts and honest in her opinions. Remus loved her. Sirius often felt jealous of the relationship his boyfriend had with the girl, considering that Remus was bisexual and had told Sirius that he would be rather tempted to be date her, if he wasn’t with Sirius. Sirius appreciated the honesty, but sometimes it made him self conscious. However, despite his feelings of jealousy toward the stunning blonde, he also couldn’t help but love her. With their dark past of snogging far behind them, he finally felt comfortable with her. They had grown rather close since the summer trip to the Potters and he cared for her greatly.

He wanted her to be happy. So he resolved to make sure she was okay that afternoon, after classes.

It was easy to find a moment without everyone hovering. Remus, Lily and James were busy with prefect and head boy and girl duties and Peter was in the library with his friend/ potential girlfriend Annie and intended to stay there til the sun went down. Dorcas was by the lake, uncharacteristically quiet that day, though she smiled whenever people asked how she was doing.

Sirius got up, folding the piece of parchment he had just written on into a small square. The note simply said, “Please come talk to me -SB”. He then charmed it to fly up and under the 7th year girls dorm door. He went and took a seat on the couch in front of the fireplace and waited. After a minute, a red eyed Marlene descended down the stairs, her hair ratty and clad in a blanket and her pajamas. She looked like hell. She gave Sirius a close lipped smile and sank into his waiting arms.

She burrowed her head into his neck and sniffled, reveling in the feeling of his comfort.

“Are you okay, little one?” Sirius whispered, the affectionate nickname rolling of his tongue. A shrug of her shoulders was the only movement. So, the two just sat in silence.

“Sirius.” Marlene finally said, gathering her courage. He hummed. “How… how did you know that wanted to be with boys?”

He reared back. This was not the direction he was expecting this conversation to go. “What?” He shook his head. “Are you sure that’s what you want to talk about? Not how much of a prick Carmichael is?”

Marlene shook her head, giving a chuckle. “No. I really want to know.”

Sirius took a deep breath and attempted to piece together what to say. No one had really asked him this question before and so was unsure of how to answer. “Well…” He began tentatively. “A lot of it had to do with Remus. It made it a lot easier to understand my feelings when they were tacked onto one person. And Remus always made sense to me. Even when we were younger and I wasn’t aware of what my feelings were, I knew I needed Remus. James always joked that he and I were so attached that sometimes he couldn’t tell us apart. In fifth year, though, when I started thinking that I had to have feelings for girls, every time I went out with a girl, something felt off. Like I was just a bit too tall or too big to be in the situation. I towered over every girl I took out, I couldn’t understand what I was expected to do or how to react or flirt or whatever. It was awkward.”

“When I realized I wanted Remus, it was like everything clicked.”

“What made you realize?”

Sirius laughed. “Well, we were in the library. It was a quiet afternoon. Prongs was at quidditch and Peter was asleep on the table. Remus was sitting against a windowsill, reading a novel on the mystical properties of stones. It had been rather gloomy that day, but there was a moment when the sun came out. I looked up to enjoy it and was met with the sight of Remus soaked in sunlight. His hair became illuminated and it backlit him just right.” Sirius’ eyes clouded over with the memory and Marlene watched him as he thought about that moment. He smiled. “It took my breath away. And I realized that I wanted him. More than I had ever wanted any girl I’d taken out. And it was more than attraction. I mean, Merlin, I definitely wanted to push him against a wall and snog him until the sun went down, but it was more than that.” he looked over at her and shrugged. “I wanted the little things too. I wanted to hold his hand in the hallway and argue about his favorite types of music, which are just of awful. I wanted to hear him snore, because he does, even though he denies it. I wanted to spend holidays with him and hold him when he cried. I wanted all of it.”

Marlene was enraptured in the obvious love Sirius had for Remus. It was shining through his face, emanating from his entire body. It made her happy, to know they were so content with each other. “I don’t know if I would have found that with someone else. I probably would have. And, honestly, it probably would have been a bloke. I know that now. But it was Remus, which made it easier. And now I honestly can’t imagine having that with anyone else.”

“So you knew with a surety that you wanted Remus?” Marlene asked.

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, when I finally figured it out. Of course, Remus had felt that way about me for much longer. But once we were finally together, life seemed better.” He looked down at the girl in his arms, so clearly struggling with heartache. “Is that how you felt with Carmichael?”

Marlene’s head snapped up. “What? No. No, of course not. He was fit and nice sometimes and he liked me. But what I felt with Darrin was nothing like what you just described.”

“I’m assuming that’s why he dumped you.”

She scoffed. “Please. I dumped him. He begged me to stay so we could figure it out. But once I realized that he wasn’t what I wanted OR needed, I knew I couldn’t be with him.” She stared into the fire, growing quiet.

It took Sirius a moment to piece together what she was saying. When he realized the bizarre way the conversation had turned actually had a meaning, his eyes grew wide. “Marls… Why did you want to know how I knew I wanted to be with a bloke?”

“You’re the only gay I know. At least, well enough to talk about this with. And, I just am kind of confused. About everything. I needed to talk to someone who might understand.”

“You want to be with girls?” He said, his voice soft. Marlene bit her lip and nodded. Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. “The girl you want to be with wouldn’t happen to be Miss Dorcas Meadowes, would it?”

Inexplicably, Marlene’s eyes filled with tears. She sunk into the couch even more, if that were possible, and tried to keep her breathing even. “I don’t know what to do, Sirius. She’ll hate me.” She whispered. “I can barely look at her now, knowing how badly I want her. But I don’t think she’ll want me. And I’ve been rejected quite a bit in my life, but hearing it from her just might kill me.”

“Marlene. What is Merlin’s name are you talking about?” Sirius snapped. “You are thinking of the absolute worst scenario.” He pulled away from her, making them both sit up straight. “Yes, you’re right, there is a chance that Dorcas won’t want you that way. And that might suck, for a while. But you’re strong, and you’ll get through it. But you’re completely ignoring the fact that she might feel the same way. And then, all of this worry will mean nothing, and you’ll regret every minute of it.”

She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off. “No, Marlene, listen. I waited an entire year before telling Remus how I felt. And even then, I didn’t actually tell him. And before that, we got in terrible fights about almost everything. It tore me up. I was angry and upset, but I couldn’t tell him how I felt because what if it ruined our friendship? So I didn’t. I let a pinch of worry stop what would have been a 15 second conversation and instead focused only on what could happen. Not what might happen. When Remus and I finally did get together, it was like all of that was wasted time. It was, of course, and we both regretted it. We’re happy now, but we could have been happier much sooner.” He stared her down, gazing into the light blue eyes, hoping she would see his sincerity. “I don’t want that to happen to you, Marls. Don’t be like us. We were cowards. It took us far too long to figure it out. Be brave. Be the Marlene Mckinnon we know and love. Take a shower, put on some real clothes, and tell that beautiful woman how you feel. If she rejects you, and she would be mental to do so, then you’ll know right where to find me.”

Marlene was crying, but smiling. She leaned forward and placed a fierce kiss on his cheek before running up the stairs to follow his orders. He grinned, hoping against hope that things would work out in her favor.

A few hours later, Lily was once again voicing her concern for Marlene. After a minute, trying to ignore her, Sirius looked up and saw Marlene enter the great hall, hand intertwined with Dorcas, who had a blush against her black skin. They were grinning widely, and Marlene made eye contact with Sirius, looking proud. He gave her a nod of approval.

“Don’t worry, Lils. I think everything is going to be okay with Marlene.” he gestured to the new couple with his head and everyone around him turned to look.

When his classmates and friends seemed to understand what was going on, their mouths dropped open. Gasps and catcalls started to circle around the Gryffindor table. Lily stood, aghast. “MERLIN’S BEARD!” She shouted. “YOU’RE LESBIANS?” Everyone laughed and raised their goblets toward the girls in a sign of congratulations.

And all Sirius could do was smile.

[how-mom-died-blog]

Movie Review: To Dust

My Wife is obsessed with human composting... and I know something intense is on the horizon. We moved to Washington State a few years ago, and shortly after we arrived (dumb luck or more evidence that we’re living in a simulation?) Washington became the first state to legalize human composting.

Washington became the first state to legalize “human composting” on Tuesday, when Gov. Jay Inslee signed a law that will allow human bodies to be converted into soil in licensed facilities.

The state law, which passed with bipartisan support, is aimed at providing a burial alternative that is less costly and more environmentally friendly than cremation or traditional coffin burials. It will take effect on May 1, 2020.

source: https://time.com/5593438/washington-legalizes-human-composting/

We’ve had long conversations about this, Emily and I. Most methods of bodily disposal are horribly toxic to the environment, and the simple act of burying a body inside a coffin speaks very directly to our culture’s inability to face the reality of what death really is—part of the natural cycle of energy transfer on this planet. We humans have such a narrow focus when it comes to our lives. We are intensely afraid that we aren’t somehow “special”, and we have built massive monuments to immortalize our lives, long after we are gone. 

If anything, my comic aims to open up conversation about dying, making it less taboo so that we can lift some of these veils that prevent us from preparing for death or acknowledging death. Our failure to face death leads to our resistance of aging. 

From plastic surgeons mutilating people to “look like a 28 year old lizard” (Bill Burr, You People Are All The Same, Netflix, 2012) to transhumanist Ray Kurzweil making the preposterous claim that he wants to cure death altogether, in his lifetime, our culture is brimming with examples of how we have divorced ourself from the natural processes of the earth. Is it any wonder that the planet feels so desperately out-of-balance? 

“The fact that we put pillows in caskets shows how little we understand about death.”

— Caitlin Doughty, mortician, activist, and advocate of death acceptance and the reform of Western funeral industry practices.

We come up with crackpot theories as to what lies beyond, and then we create ideologies around these stories and go to war over them. It has even been suggested that evangelicals who truly believe in the rapture would rather propel this planet to the brink of destruction, just to bring it on as soon as possible. All of this is to say, when we deny death, we deny life.

Oh yeah. This was supposed to be a movie review. 

So the other night, I’m flipping through my streaming watchlists and I find this gem on Prime. 

Shmuel (Geza Rohrig), a hasidic cantor in upstate New York, distraught by the untimely death of his wife, knows little more of life after death than what’s written in the Torah and Talmud, and is worried that his wife’s burial has put her soul in great pain, preventing her soul from ultimately reconnecting with the divine. He enlists the help of Albert (Matthew Broderick) and they embark on a quest to understand exactly what happens to the human body after it dies. 

Eventually, (spoilers) Shmuel decides to free his wife’s corpse from the confines of the box she was buried in, and develops a clandestine partnership with Albert to move her body to an above-ground human composting site.

I found this movie to be darkly funny and challenging at times. Shmuel’s character was a little less complex than I would have preferred. That said, I enjoyed it enough to watch it more than once. It was great seeing Matthew Broderick in a dry and serious role like this, and the two had great, if not awkward, chemistry together. I even learned a thing or two about human decomposition in the process.

Look, I say all this like I’m fully liberated from the cultural taboos that prevent us from accepting death, but when Emily talks about how she wants her body treated after she dies, I truly wince. It’s a strong wince that starts with my face and ends somewhere inside my heart. It’s a conversation I don’t want to have, even after all we’ve been through. Even after filling out our POLST forms in our mid-30s. I’m struggling just like everyone else. But these conversations are really important to have with our loved ones. They’re important to have with everyone, because we can’t keep roaming this earth with our heads in the sand, in regards to our true nature. 

We are part of this planet. We came from it. We will return to it. And the fact that we have iron in our blood proves that we are also children of the stars, because all of the iron on Earth was produced in the intense conditions present in the hearts of stars, released by supernovae, and distributed across the universe to coalesce over billions of years as gravity-wells that become planets, and from within these planets, we emerge. What business do we have boxing ourselves up inside coffins and pyramids, removing ourselves from the natural order of things? We do these things because we hope that we are special. But that is so short-sighted because when you zoom out and consider that universal perspective, how can we NOT feel special? We are the universe becoming alive, experiencing every configuration possible. We are not insignificant. We are everything.