#or i guess i have control over like my life? i'm feeling better about my health and other shit?
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"prince zu-"
zuko clamps a hand over the avatar's mouth. thankfully, no one else seems to have noticed.
"don't," he says, "-say that name here."
here being the middle of an earth kingdom base, where they were currently surrounded by earth kingdom soldiers. earth kingdom soldiers who thought he was one of them. which he kind of was. he'd trained and fought alongside these men- and he'd just stuck his neck out as the blue spirit to rescue a captured battalion.
...which was how he found out his commanders had known about his blue spirit activities for awhile now. which was a thing. but what they didn't need to find out was that cadet akiyoshi, who came from the small village of si jun, was actually prince zuko of the fire nation.
he slowly lets go of the avatar's mouth. he asks what he's doing here. which is a fair question. he'd gotten drafted.
the avatar just stares at him incredulously. which again. fair. zuko quickly explains about grandpa kenzo and how he'd mistaken him for his grandson. and how he'd just kind of... started living that life after awhile. it just seemed easier to go along with being drafted than risk sticking out by deserting.
he finds out his uncle's looking for him.
that takes zuko by surprise. it sounds like uncle wants to find him because he's worried about him, and not. you know. because he wants to kill him like the rest of his family. maybe he shouldn't be so surprised- his father had declared uncle a traitor recently. something about helping to thwart a fire nation invasion of the north pole?
the avatar asks zuko to come with him. he's eager to reunite them, but zuko just glances over his shoulder at his fellow soldiers. it doesn't feel right to abandon them in the middle of a war. he turns the avatar down. you can tell my uncle i'm alive, but don't tell him where i am. i'll... find him after the war is over. i promise.
the avatar makes a face, but he accepts.
he starts to regret his choice when he hears his sister killed the avatar in ba sing se- and captured his uncle. the once unconquerable city falls to fire nation control, and all of a sudden, the tide of the war has shifted entirely in the fire nation's favor. but if there's one thing he's learned while living in the earth kingdom, it's that its people are stubborn.
(he is too. he's an earthbender, like them.)
zuko's commander assigns them a new mission. they're going to help a small ragtag team invade the caldera on the day of the black sun. it's a crazy plan- and one that zuko finds himself wanting to take part in. he's seen firsthand the damage his family and the fire nation have done to the earth kingdom. he's lived off their kindness for three years- he has to pay them back somehow.
he knows the risks.
(when the avatar sees him step off that ship, he does a double take. zuko glares him into submission. not a word, avatar.
...also, is that toph? huh. guess he'd better go greet his old master.)
earthbender zuko would just be shun zuko getting mistaken by a blind potter for his dead grandson and then just. never leaving. he can't break this old man's heart. he ends up learning not only his craft but also a lot of other earthbending tips and tricks from the old man whom he genuinely starts to think of as his grandpa at some point.
(spoiler alert: the old man knows full well zuko isn't his grandson. in fact he doesn't even have a grandson. but the scrawny, clearly starving and definitely abused refugee kid will definitely stick around if he pretends to think otherwise.)
...and then he gets drafted into the earth king's army. well. isn't this ironic.
#toph just beaming from ear to ear like hey! you guys found the third best earthbender! not bad!#zuko: wait. who's the second best earthbender?#toph: me. again.#zuko: ..yeah fair.#aang just freaking out because what do you MEAN toph knew prince zuko this whole time#they'd described him to her and every- oh. wait. okay he sees the problem now#zuko: i can't believe we're about to go face the fatherlord#sensu: you mean the fire lord right?#zuko: didn't i say that?#earthbender zuko au
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me being a fool thinking "jesse is alright" until i start replaying control and get hit with a wave of "i love this woman so much, she is so chill while also being a bit of a clown but also girlbossing her way around the fbc."
#;; ooc#big heart eyes at this director#control was the first game i played when i moved out on my own#which was a big fucking thing for me#so i look at her like. ah you have control over yourself and so do i#or i guess i have control over like my life? i'm feeling better about my health and other shit?#i am very sleep deprived this morning so being grossly sappy is on the table#asks are being worked on i promise#it just takes a few days until i am happy with them#i over edit#which idk if that's good or bad but you know its a process#i shall slink back to work now
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nothing more relaxing than like acting out a play in my room alone
#idk what it is about walking around in someone else's trauma for a little while but it just takes the pressure out#maybe it's bc it's easy 2 get a handle on it bc it hasn't happened 2 you. it gives u a sense of detached mastery that you don't have#over your own life#like you're analyzing + focused on convincing in your portrayal of something. + u can also change the performance to make it#more believable or impactful too. there's that control over the words�� the implied experiences‚ and then also the superficial thoughts#that war with the words + give a sense of direction#it's like... so freeing to be able to control all those things in someone else's trauma#cause like when awful things are happening in my life i can't change my point of view. i'm stuck with the thoughts that i have#+ the sympathies that i have + the shame i have + if something really important to me goes wrong then i can't control what i think#or feel. no matter how hard i try the outcome can't change. but acting like someone else + piecing their emotions together#just gives me back that sense of control.#i've been walking around for a while afraid that everyone could see my surface-level thoughts on my face + that they were being#misinterpreted. proving to myself that i can control those thoughts is good on one hand + bad on the other where i then#lose confidence in my authentic self's ability to walk around in the world. i guess i'll have 2 think about it some more.#i was figuring things out a bit in my own way. i think i'd still prefer that lol.#also when i think about my worst moments‚ they're rough for years because i wasn't able to be authentic at all. and all that was#punished in ways that were traumatic. i don't really want these bad moments to define my life so maybe it's better to just take these#experiences on the chin + let the terror inside of me exist‚ palatable or not
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i'm not doing anything !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not fucking doing anything !!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just sit and rot and worry and yearn whilst other people are out there living and feeling and breathing and experiencing and still i just do nothing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#'you're young there's still time' you do not understand#i don't do things because i'm unwell. chronically. it won't ever go away !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that doesn't mean it can't get better i'm sure it will one day#but it will never be what i want it to be#i get so overwhelmed by all the things i'm not doing#i need to stop watching videos and films about people living the lives i want#been procrastinating my hrt shit for ages now even though all i have to do is send two emails and ask my friend for one link#i'm putting off the new tattoos and piercings i want because i always do that and then i get sad that i don't have them yet#i'm putting off my assignments for a degree that i actually enjoy and want to do well in and i do not know why#i'm just WAITING. what am i WAITING FOR. the change is INSIDE OF ME. why am i waiting#i guess i am holding onto safety and predictability because it's the only thing i have control over#i bounce between that and the image of a future me that is completely unattainable#and i tell myself there is no possible middle ground so i just give up#i can't be all the things i want to be. i will never been seen the way i want to be#but that doesn't mean i have to stay stuck like this forever wasting my life feeling miserable about everything#but i still choose to keep doing it every day anyway because i don't know how to stop#is it too much to ask to be a beautiful man who is not technically a man but is perceived as one and gets silly about it#is it too much to ask to be nice and well and attractive and successful#i don't want to be normal. i don't want to be cis. but i would like to be myself in a way that feels right#but i am not brave enough to start doing anything about it
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if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:
Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.
It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:
This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?
Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.
Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:
SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."
That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.
The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.
HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.
Uh oh!
Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.
You can guess where this is going.
So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.
Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.
#long post#side note- this is one of the reasons i dont cover shit i dont like in my video essays. yall havent seen me angry.
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is it depression or is my appetite gone cause I'm preemptively preparing for when Val gives up on any progress & his relationship for real n starts givin me shit about my weight again
#i mean idk if it's gonna happen but#it might#why do i care what he thinks? ain't that the question#n i mean i know it's not even abt my appearance rly cause he gave me shit about it in my source body too n that one's full heroin chic#it's just abt the control#he likes me weak & he likes it when i starve myself for him#thank fuck our sleep meds make me hungry as hell cause otherwise i wouldn't be eatin at all#just need to make sure i have easy food available so we get some actual nutrition too instead of just junk#even the junk's better than nothing though!#it's not a body image issue for me atm but i'm kinda worried it might turn into one#like pllllssss we already had one ana stint we rly don't need another go at that it fucking sucked#n as a bonus doesn't even make us lose any weight cause our metabolism's fucked lmao#so it'd literally just be me eroding our insides for nothing. except like a brief feelin of satisfaction i guess#i can get that in less dangerous ways too tyvm#so i rly rly hope val's up to speed w/ the way it'd get legitimately dangerous for the body him included. n also make him feel like shit#if he wants that type of control there's other shit he could have me do. nothing i'd like but at least w/ less or no physical harm included#kinda wish my life wasn't like 80% harm management at this point but. it is what it is.#at some point it's gonna change. someone else is gonna take over.#all i havta do is keep shit running w/ as little long term damaga as possible til then#can my sedatives fucking do smth my heart's still fucking pounding for no reason uggghhhh#spdrvent#disordered eating cw
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hi bby, could i request jealous modern!aemond?😊
i tried my best but i feel like everything was better in my head, i hope i managed to get things right with the words <333 thanks for requesting
modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader
-aemond needs to get you back.
cw; kinda like exes to lovers, jealous!aemond, aemond being an idiot and he's sorry for that, criston cole in his own warning, reader's shorter than aemond, mentions of alcohol, kissing, aemond being desperate to get you back, also he's a sad fool and he accepts that, suggestive towards the end but nothing descriptive, title is a hozier lyric
wc; 2k
i'll crawl home to her
aemond likes to think he's good at controlling his emotions. at least he can keep his face neutral, he doesn't let people know what he thinks.
that turns out to be a lie, though, the moment he sees a guy behind the bar stool you sit.
he relaxes his fists. you're not his girlfriend. he has no right to feel jealous over your affections. who's that guy, anyway? how can he be bold enough to talk to you like this, leaning to the bar with his arm almost wrapped around you? aemond hates the idea of someone being braver than him. he fucking despises the idea of you giving a smile to that- that asshole.
"you okay?" cole asks, his glass almost empty in his hand. he follows aemond's gaze and, boom. just like he guessed.
"of course, i'm okay." aemond replies, coolly. there's no logical reason behind his real emotions.
"if you keep staring like that, she will notice."
aemond turns to him sharply. his gaze is burning, almost feels like crying or something worse than that. "i'm not staring."
"if you say so." cole shrugs. he's got worse problems than dealing with aemond's jealousy to be honest. he knows aemond will never admit what's happening in truth.
"do you- do you know who that is?" aemond asks, not that he thinks cole can actually know a random guy at the bar. he tries to fill the stupid silence between them, change the subject after that, storm out when he finishes his drink. he despises the pathetic situation he unwillingly put himself into.
"do i know the guy who's flirting with your ex-girlfriend?" cole pretends to think. "um- no, i don't actually."
the mention of you burns his chest. it's because of the whisky, he tells himself. keep your cool, keep your cool. don't let them know anything.
"it doesn't matter, anyway." he says, feeling like a desperate fool.
"no, it doesn't." cole agrees. aemond can sense his mocking, his tendency to talk boldly tonight. cole isn't like that usually. "because you are not together anymore."
"we're not."
"because you let her go." cole continues, takes a sip from his glass. "it was quite stupid of you if you ask me."
"i didn't ask you, cole."
"no, no, but just- what were you thinking when you decided to break things off with her, hmm? what was the motivation behind it?"
"you're going too far."
"i'm not." cole says. "you just can't face with your own decisions."
"fuck off." aemond stands up, getting his jacket. "you don't even know what you're talking about. didn't ask your damn opinion about my love life, did i?"
"just admit you failed, aemond. lost the one good thing about you." cole speaks calmly after him. "you'd do all of us a great favor."
aemond walks away. there's no need for drunken arguments tonight, he's certainly not in the mood for discussing his past decisions. he can't help a brief look on your seat, though. you're not there. he didn't see you leaving, he can't see your jacket or that sparkly purse you love so much. the guy stays where he is, chatting with his friends. where are you?
"oh!" someone shorter than him almost collapses with his chest. "aemond?"
aemond wishes you to not look so pretty with that smudged eye make up and- his fucking favorite color on your lips. what kind of strength should he have to not kiss you against the wall when you're looking at him through those glossy eyes? he takes a step back, an apology ready on his lips.
you beat him through it. "sorry." you say, blinking your pretty eyes. "didn't see you there."
"no, it's okay." he collects himself before doing something stupid. "i was walking too fast."
you nod, your purse in your hand and your jacket thrown on your shoulders. you don't look drunk, maybe just tipsy. turning your back to him, you keep walking your way, out of the club. running into your ex-boyfriend shouldn't stop you from going home.
aemond thinks of the guy back there. you're not together with him, are you? he's not with you right now, he doesn't call a cab, and you don't look like you're waiting for anyone. that must be a relief. it doesn't feel like it, though. aemond is certain anyone who sees you would fall for your charms, that guy was no exception. all the hypothetical men get into his head. fuck them all.
"are you alone?" he asks you, foolishly. you nod. no words for him. why would you bother?
"i can- my car is over there if you-"
"i don't want anything from you, aemond."
okay. he deserves this. he knows he deserves this.
"it's late." he says. "i know you don't want anything to do with me, but i can at least-"
"i said no." you cut him. "you don't have to pretend to care."
you start walking in the cool breeze of night air. it feels nice on your face. aemond follows you like he's lost, like he doesn't know where to go without you. "can we talk?" he asks, his voice is softer than the last time you talked. "please?"
"there's nothing to talk about." you tell him, looking at him briefly.
"i made a mistake." he says like he's pleading. the alcohol gets him, his lips move on their own. he keeps telling himself he won't regret anything he tells you right now. he's not drunk, that means they are all real. "i made many mistakes. letting you go was the worst of them."
"that sounds like an interesting story." you say, sarcastically. "would you like to continue? i'm sure people on the street will enjoy your freak show."
he has no explanation for this but your attitude turns him on.
"i saw you with that guy." he says.
"you really should stop talking now." you say. "you're being pathetic."
"no, i-" he can get on his knees and beg. he's cursing his past self, cursing his stupid decisions. "please."
"please, what?" you get angrier each second. this is not a game you'll be playing with him. "do you realize how stupid you sound?"
"of course i do." he answers with a slight pout. "i just need you to see- to understand how terrible it makes me feel, to- to see you with another guy and not being able to do anything about it-"
"no need to be so selfish." you say, calmly. "i'm not your anything. you cannot react like this every time we run into each other by chance."
"i regret it." his legs can give up any second now. he begs for something divine to help him out of his misery. "i regret everything i did. i never should have let you go."
your heartbeat gets quicker with anger and adrenaline. the fact that you're still hopelessly in love with him does nothing to calm your nerves. he doesn't deserve your love. you will not accept anything he says until he proves he's worthy. you try to control your breath, stop your hands from shaking. he has no right to do this, you remind yourself.
"it's too late." you say. "you don't deserve to get everything back after you let them go like the way you did."
he looks at you so sweetly, you have to swallow and look away. he's fond of that attitude of yours, how you put yourself first after he hurt you, and his chest tightens with the loss of you there but he can't help a wave of affection towards your frowny face and your crossed arms. there's his girl, you're still there, still present with your anger and precise words. he would to anything to get you back.
"i know." aemond agrees, slowly. "i promise, i know- and you're right, whatever you decide to do, you're right."
"are you trying to fix us just because you saw me with another guy?" you ask, eyebrows furrowed.
"no, of course not. not only because of that." he says quickly. "i wanted you back since the first time you walked out. i just didn't have enough courage to talk to you."
"so you're admitting you were being stupid and acting like coward?" you challenge him with two things he hates the thought of being the most.
"it was stupid of me to break up with you." he says slowly. he's gonna have to be a big boy for this. "i was only trying to protect you from my family and- and myself, but i acted cowardly."
"i can protect myself." you say. "i don't need you to decide for me."
"i know that, sweetheart." he smiles. it's a tiny move on his lips, he's always so fond of your independent nature. "i apologise for not speaking things clearly."
it's your turn to smile. you take a step towards him, he stays still. the top buttons of his shirt expose his neck nicely, the chain you got him hanging there. he never let you go. he was only being an idiot. you think you want him back. he can fix his own idiocity by himself, but you want him back.
"what do you want?" you ask with a kind voice like you're teasing. you're not teasing, not in the least but he doesn't know that, does he?
"i want you to be my girlfriend again." he says, straightening his posture. his shoulders are high, his neck long. he feels like a dragon ready to fight for you. "if you'll have me."
you push him softly against the wall behind him and cup his cheeks. he accepts the kiss greedily, changing positions so that your back is against the wall. he makes a rightful mess of your lipstick, his hands on your waist and on the back of your neck. you close your eyes. his scent hits your senses so well, your hand goes to his shoulder to pull him closer.
you break the kiss. "you cannot do the same thing again, okay? you cannot leave me and come back, you cannot think for my place and make my decisions when it comes to you and our relationship."
"okay." he says, his eye closed and his lips following your mouth. "i promise."
"good." you say, pull him for another kiss. it's only been two weeks but you missed him. he feels safe like this, and familiar with his body pressed against yours against the wall of a club. the darkness of the night covers you, your sparkly purse is the only thing that can be seen from a distance.
aemond kisses you like he's been out of breath for so long. he's been a desperate fool for days but now it's over. everything gets clear when he gets you like this, his mind free of worry and anger, all those devilish thoughts that bother him. he's content with his place, he doesn't have to pretend he's okay. it's all real.
"by the way-" you start saying between two lovely kisses. "that guy back there already has a lover named charles. you didn't have to worry about him anyway."
aemond laughs and it's a real laugh, not one of the fake ones he has to throw into aegon's or cole's face. you smile and he kisses your cheek. you hold his hand, he squeezes your fingers.
"i like your dress." he changes the subject, leading you to his car. "is that new?"
"of course it is." you answer, cheekily. "my boyfriend decided to be a jerk for no reason and i had to keep myself busy with something."
aemond had no idea the night could turn into something amazing when he first agreed to come here with cole. he can't keep his hands off you, kisses you against the car this time. he's gotta find a way to make up for the time he made you lost. kissing you and getting you your favorite drink on the way home might be a good start.
he gives you a silent promise to atone his sins between your legs in the following hours.
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon#modern!aemond#aemond x you#aemond x reader#hotd#aemond targaryen x female reader#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x fem!reader#aemond targaryen fanfiction#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen imagine#aemond targaryen fanfic#modern!aemond targaryen#modern!aemond targaryen x reader
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ivy, l. howlett (2)
you try to get to know your mystery man a little better... but big brother is always watching.
CW: canon typical violence, gore, guns, mutation, profanity, innuendos, mature themes, mentions of sex, y/n is very poison ivy-esque, jean grey exists but is not present, etc.
"I think you'll be comfortable here," you assured, turning on the bedside light as you tossed a few spare blankets on the foot of Logan's bed.
"Where is your room?" he asked, innocently, his hands resting behind his back.
You raised a brow, but brushed off your slight surprise, turning on another lamp.
"Down the hall," you answered, honestly. "But I spend most of my time in the greenhouse."
He let out a soft chuckle, glancing at you out the corner of his eye as he opened the closet doors, inspecting it.
"Is that your gift? You got a green thumb?" he taunted, turning to face you.
"I'm a chlorokinetic," you corrected, unamused. "I can control plants."
"Really? What kinds of plants?" he gasped, falsely.
Instantly, the fern in the corner of the room extended and slammed the closet door shut, Logan watching with intrigue as it slowly receded back into the pot.
"I also have some communicative ability," you walked over to his bedside, sitting down on the edge and mindlessly adjusting the pillows. "It varies based on the species, but the professor is teaching me to develop it."
"I'm sure he is," he nodded, slowly stalking closer until he stood right before you, forcing you to look up at him.
God, your eyes...
The intensity of their warm brown sent a tender buzz through his chest.
"So say what that fern thinks about me."
"I'd rather not," you smirked, resting your hands on the bed as you leaned back. "He's not the nicest, and I'd hate for your feelings to be hurt."
"C'mon," he egged, his voice lowering to a deep whisper, sending shivers down your spine. "You afraid he might like me more than you?"
"I doubt it."
He raised a brow, silently asking again—and the look likely would've left you weak in the knees if you were standing.
With a playful sigh, you caved, turning to Ferdinand to hear what he had to say, letting out a quiet snicker at his colorful language before turning back to Logan.
"You look like dive-bar frequenting lumberjack, with a weird ass haircut and a shitty beard," you relayed, verbatim. "He's still going, of course, but I think you get the gist."
For the first time since you met him, Logan let out a genuine laugh, tickled by the gusto of the houseplant.
"That's—" "Ahem," a familiar voice cleared his throat, forcing you both to turn your attention to the door.
'Shit.'
"Scott," you greeted with a sigh, slowly standing up from the bed.
You didn't need telepathy to figure out he was a little more than pissed...
You'd gone against a direct order, and were caught in the act.
'Rookie mistake...'
Turning back to the lumberjack, you glanced at him with a knowing look, giving him a soft pat on the shoulder, "Good night, Logan," you wished, stepping past him and exiting the room.
Though not without giving Scott a sharp, sideways glare.
But he paid it no mind, instead focusing his attention on the stranger in the room.
"You gonna tell me to stay away from your girl?" Logan cocked brow.
"My girl is away on business," Scott corrected, resting his arms behind his back.
"Hmm. Well, then, I guess you've got nothing to worry about, do ya, Cyclops?" Logan smirked, strolling toward the man.
"Yeah, it must just burn you up that a boy like me saved your life, huh?"
Logan's amusement died fast, along with his playful expression.
But Scott pressed right on, pleased to see he struck a nerve, and hoping to strike another.
"She is entirely out of your league," he stated, seriously. "So do yourself a favor and don't even bother."
And with that he shut the door, leaving Logan to steam on the other side.
'Don't even bother, my ass...'
Scott might've been right about you being out of his league—you were a gorgeous, intelligent woman with a sense of humor, who probably wouldn't give him the time of day in any other instance—but Logan liked a challenge.
And he'd be damned if he let some pretty boy tell him who he could and couldn't pursue.
"You went against a direct order—" "We were just talking, Scott," you rolled your eyes, watering Monique, your huge Monstera Deliciosa.
She was nestled nicely in the corner—perfect for indirect natural light—blending seamlessly with the countless array of other plants.
In fact, your room looked more akin to a forest than anything, green seeming to sprout from every nook and cranny, even the canopy of your bed covered in ivy and varying species of flowers.
"It looked a little more than that from where I was standing."
"Even if we weren't, that's none of your business," you scoffed, moving on to the palms. "You're not my keeper."
"But I am your leader," he corrected, firmly. "When I tell you something, I expect you to listen. Logan is bad news, and I'm not gonna let you get roped up in his mess."
"He's a chronic amnesiac with an attitude problem," you turned to him, incredulously, crossing your arms over your chest. "I assure you, I can handle him."
"It's not a matter of handling. I don't want him trying anything with you."
You and Scott, along with Ororo and Jean, had known each other since you were kids under the professor's tutelage, and with you as the youngest of the group—though not much younger than them—Scott assumed the role of an older brother.
And throughout your childhood, especially in your teens, he chased away any boy that seemed to take even the slightest liking to you.
A habit he held on to well into your twenties, and a habit that you appreciated just about as much as you did back then.
Which was not at all.
"Scott, with all due respect, I am a grown woman. And this beat the boys away routine you got going on is getting seriously old," you warned, seriously.
"I don't want to see you get hurt," he pressed on, not letting up, "And trust me, I know guys like Logan, and they only bring pain and heartbreak."
"That is exactly what you said about that boy from Louisiana," you pointed an accusatory finger at him. "I think his name was Rodney or Rudy or something..."
"'Cause he was exactly the same!" Scott scoffed, disbelieving of your inability to see the patterns. "I hate to break it to ya, (n/n), but you have terrible taste in men."
"Excuse me?!"
But before you could fire back with a retort, a roar suddenly echoed throughout the house, along with a scream of terror.
Instinctively, you reached out to all the plants in the house, finding its source almost instantly.
"Logan," you realized, eyes wide as you raced out of the room, Scott right behind you.
Running out into the hall, you looked both ways, freshly awakened kids sticking their heads out their rooms to see the commotion.
"Somebody help!" Logan shouted, voice laced with panic.
You didn't have time to worry about them.
Quickly, you sprinted down the hall, the two of you barging into his room, only to find Rogue standing there, touching his cheek and seemingly draining his life force.
It looked like he'd stabbed her with his claws, and she was taking his power to close the wound.
'Holy shit...'
Scott cut on the lights just as Ororo joined you, the girl finally letting Logan go, the poor man dropping to the ground like dead weight, seizing.
"It was an accident," Rogue turned to Ororo, guiltily, before running out the room.
You swiftly moved to Logan's side, dropping to your knees to help, "Scott, grab me a pillow," you ordered, leaving no room for argument.
He quickly moved to grab one, you using your powers to grow Ferdinand much larger and stronger, before wrapping his fronds around Logan's body to act as restraints.
'This should keep him front hurting himself.'
"Pillow," Scott nodded, handing it to you.
You took it gratefully, carefully lifting Logan's head and placing it down on top.
"He'll have to ride it out. But with his healing factor I'm not too worried," you assured, brushing a loose strand of hair out his face.
With that out the way, Ororo turned to the crowd of children gathered at the door, scolding.
"Off to bed. All of you. There's nothing to see here," she ushered them away, exiting the room.
Now just you and Scott, you let out a sigh, standing up and running a hand through your hair.
You could practically feel Scott's I told you so look burning through his glasses.
"Shut up."
"I told you... bad news."
#wolverine x reader#wolverine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#james howlett#james howlett x reader#mcu#mcu x reader#x men x reader#x men
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Hey this is a little different I guess but can you do a regina x fem reader where reader is so genuine and thoughtful about loving regina that Miss queen bee sometimes gets overwhelmed because when has anyone treated her like that when they didn't want something or her want something from them?
Used To It
Description: Regina is used to putting all of the effort in her relationships. She starts dating Reader and gets overwhelmed by the amount of love and effort she's shown. Reader helps her realize what she deserves.
WARNINGS: none, fluffy as fuck
Regina George was not used to love.
I mean, sure, her parents loved her. But, they loved her because they were her parents. It's kind of a requirement to love your kids.
She thought Aaron loved her, but he just loved what dating Regina gave him. Popularity, status, friends. Same thing with Shane, he loved her because she was good at sex.
She never really felt love.
She had always heard about it, seen it in movies, read about it, but she had never experienced it.
She thought dying for 15 seconds would finally get her the love she had been chasing her whole life. Turns out, it doesn't. It just makes everyone feel pity for you.
After completely healing from the spinal injury, and neck brace free, Regina came out to the whole school. Most people were surprised but some people kinda already knew.
A couple of months after coming out, Regina started talking to a girl in her Physics class.
Y/N Y/L/N.
She was very sweet and charming and always knew how to make Regina feel better. After a few dates, Y/N asked Regina to be her girlfriend, to which the blonde said yes.
Now, a couple of months into their relationship, Regina felt overwhelmed. In a confusing way.
It's not like it was Y/N's fault. It wasn't.
The girl had been nothing short of perfect to Regina. Taking her on spontaneous dates, buying her gifts, pda, the whole nine yards.
She wasn't used to it.
She was used to taking control in her relationships but this, this was different from any relationship she had been in. This was....healthy.
The blonde didn't know how to bring up how she felt to Y/N. She had talked to Karen and Gretchen and even though they weren't much help, they were right.
"Be honest with her, Regina. She'll understand."
The blonde had texted Y/N to come over so they could talk. She had to let her know that it wasn't anything bad, so she wouldn't freak out. Fifteen minutes after she sent the text, Y/N showed up.
She had stopped and gotten Regina her usual from Starbucks. Regina's heart melted at the gesture and thanked the girl with a kiss. She led Y/N into her room, for more privacy as the girl made herself comfortable.
"So, what's up, baby?" Regina took a deep breath and sat at her vanity, facing Y/N. "Umm. I don't know how to say this." The blonde began to fidget as Y/N looked at the girl with a comforting smile.
"Take your time baby." Regina took another deep breath. "I've never been in a relationship that's so...healthy. And it's overwhelming." Y/N nodded, allowing Regina to go on.
"I've never been around a relationship that showed me what love was supposed to be. My parents, Aaron, Shane. I've never been exposed to stuff like that and you have shown me more love in these few months than anyone and it's very overwhelming. I don't wanna mess anything up because I'm happy for the first time in my life, but I also don't wanna hold back."
Y/N nodded and stood, walking to where Regina was sitting. "Regina, first off, thank you for being honest with me baby. Listen, I just wanna give you the best. I know your past relationships haven't been the best, but I'm going to make up for the sucky parts by treating you like the princess you are."
Regina's eyes filled with tears at the girls words. "I don't want to overwhelm you but I also don't want you to feel like I'm going to treat you like your other relationships did. This is a team, Regina. Not an individual thing. I'm going to be there for you, just like you're going to be there for me."
Regina nodded, tears running down her face. Y/N wiped her tears and kissed her gently. "I'm so proud of you for telling me, Gina. I know it wasn't easy. But please, for the future, know that you can come to me for anything, baby. I won't judge."
The blonde nodded, burying her head in Y/N's neck. Y/N kissed her head and guided her back to her bed. Y/N laid back and pulled Regina into her arms. "I really care about you, Regina. All I want is for you to be happy."
And as Regina fully relaxed in Y/N's arms, she felt true happiness for the first time in her life.
Yeah, she could get used to this.
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tripling the fun - jude and jobe bellingham
part 2 -> part 1 here
prompt: jude fulfills everyone’s dreams.
jude x fem!reader.
jobe & reader platonic soulmates
warnings: grammar issues, cursing, arguments (happy ending), jealous jude, all characters are fictional (except jude, jobe, and their parents)
click to help palestine
credits to owners for all images
salt air, and the rust on your door.
flower in your hair, feet in the sand, salty air entering through your nose.
joining the annual vacation with the bellingham family and your sweet parents, life felt as ease.
at least, for you.
jude was rapidly tapping his feet on the wood bedroom floor. hands in his hair, anxiety filling up his thoughts. jobe was seriously getting concerned.
“mate, you have two days. everything is gonna be okay.” sitting next to him on the bed, jobe put his hand on jude’s shoulder to get his nerves to calm down.
“i’m overthinking it now. what if she says no? what if she only sees me as a brother? am i being delusional?” he could feel his heart racing, and it wasn’t even the day.
jude was planning to ask you out. he felt like no other person who wasn't blood related to him could understand him, deeper and personally better than you. noticing over the past few years, he noticed his rising feelings for you. getting overexcited by the mention of you two hanging out. his cheeks heat up as the thought of you popping into his head. his resistance of trying not to pull you into a deep hug.
jobe, trying to comfort him to the best of his ability, was getting concerned. “jude, you seriously need to calm down. y/n is one of my favorite people in the entire world. have you ever seen her talk to anyone else? i mean seriously, her whole life involves us.”
“you’re not helping,” jude stands up from the bed, heading his way outside for a bit of fresh air. “i need a breather.”
walking across the sand to gather his thoughts, he saw a familiar figure in the distance.
admiring how your hair flowed in the air, perfectly shaped and painted nails coming into contact with the golden sand. your lashes slowly moving up and down as you blinked. he couldn’t grasp the idea of losing you.
“hey jude, what’s going on?” almost standing up, he quickly sat down beside you. “is anyone asking for me?”
shaking his head, “nah, everything is fine. i just needed to take a walk.”
noticing his body language, and how his eyebrows moved when he talked, something was wrong. “you seem tense. is there anything you wanna talk about? what’s on your mind?” you scooted closer to him, touching shoulders.
jude cleared his throat, a lump forming. “there’s nothing wrong. i just wanted to see the sunset. beautiful waves isn’t it?”
“definitely. i wish i could spend all day here.” resting your head on his shoulder, he began to control his breathing and heart rate. struggling to make a next move, he moved his arm to push you closer by your shoulder.
little did you know, your mother and denise were standing from the balcony, watching you two embrace each other’s comfort.
jobe holding his youngest nephew, who was pointing at the future couple, seeing what the future could bring.
----------the next morning--------------
"hey little one." jude picked up his niece and spun around.
"i found your stash of flowers. they look really pretty. are they for me?" catching a small glimpse of the gap of her teeth, jude couldn't help but laugh at the question.
"i would like to say yes, but they're for a really special girl. are you ready to go swim at the beach?"
a frown formed on her lips, "yeah, i guess so. i can't wait to build a giant sand castle that i can live there forever." she threw her arms up high in excitement.
"i don't know about forever, but i'm sure it's gonna be great."
a knock was heard on the door. the air felt colder as tension fell.
"hey jude, we're about to go." you gave him a warm smile, as he stood there in silence. he put the princess down as he went to go sat down on his bed.
he picked up his phone, texting jobe,
i'll be at the beach later, got to get my things together.
he took a deep breath. and for the next 30 minutes, he was trying to form the perfect plan. going out to the balcony to look for a special spot to set up a dinner. noticing splashes that seem far more intense.
getting a better view, he noticed you and jobe. jobe was hugging you from behind and throwing you into the waves. shared laughter echoing throughout the beach. he couldn't lie, the inside of the palm of his hands were sweating and getting white from the grip of the wood. he didn't wanna admit he was getting jealous of his own brother, but the timing was nowhere near perfect for things like this to happen. he has seen moments like this between you two, but it felt different. his head began pounding. he grabbed his towel and ran out to hopefully score a remarkable moment with you
smiles appeared on everyone's faces as he walked through the burning hot sand.
"jude, you're here!" you yelled as sounds of waves crashing and seagulls talking. he waved at you while he gave his mom his belongings for safe keeping.
joining you and jobe in the water, he felt off. in his imagination, jude felt like a mood-killer. the laughter died down, the sun no longer reflected off your skin. he felt like he caused something wrong.
clearing the air, jobe did little small splashes throughout the trio. jude stared at the smile that was on your face after jobe's actions. he felt anger race through his blood. impulsive thinking, he pushed the water right into jobe's face. jobe dodging the salt water in his eyes, he was confused on jude's sudden gesture. you ignored what just happened, because siblings can be siblings.
actions speaking more than words, jude became more aggressive. walking more towards to shore for safety, jude wasn't just playing around. he gave a jude a small but rough push to jobe, making him slip and fall into the water.
"jude, what the fuck." his eyebrows narrowed watching you trying to help jobe to his balance. you weren't sure what was going on, but awkwardness was following all three of you.
jobe cleared his throat, "do you know what we're having for dinner?"
"i think our dads are grilling tonight." jobe nodded as you played with the salt water. without any explanation, jude walked back to get the towel from his mom, and walked back to the house. jobe and you made eye contact in confusion, but just brushed it off.
walking to the shore, the three little children were playing with the sand. classic sand castle with wet sand circling it. picking up the baby boy, giving him a small kiss on his forehead, you could really see jude’s face written all over him.
“y/n, you should sit. the sand is cool under the umbrella.” jobe patted a spot next to him under the shade. sitting the baby down on your lap and hugging his tiny body, he pointed at the sand in jobe’s bucket.
“are you going to help build our castle?” the little princess with her pink hat was desperately trying to scoop a decent amount of sand in her flimsy shovel. jobe nodded his head, but we all know he loses the sand castle contest every year.
“y/n, guess what.” the girl said with a bright smile.
“what?” you smiled back, but more in confusion.
“jude has flowers in his room. i asked if they were for me, he said no. he said it was for someone special though.”
your lips made a small gap. you were shocked at the fact. jobe held in his breath. he was looking back and forth in panic.
“did you know jude was talking to someone, jobe?” he looked at you with slightly wider eyes.
frantically shaking his head, “no, of course not.” he looked at his mom for some help.
“did you know?” you asked denise.
she shrugged it off with a “no darling.” as she was playing it off. you were playing with the baby’s soft curls as your mind wandered off.
—————————
“hey jude, how are you?” walking into his room and sitting down on the desk chair as he sat on the bed, scrolling through social media.
with an unexpected surprise, jude sat up. “i’m doing fine, how are you? you look like you got a nice tan.”
a slight giggle coming out, “yeah, it’s pretty nice. i just wanted to ask you about something.”
“about?”
“our lovely niece told me you bought flowers for someone,” jude instantly looked at you in your eyes. has his secret been busted? “i was just wondering who they were for. usually when you start talking to someone, jobe and i know.”
“oh, it’s nothing really. i bought them just because.”
“just because? you can’t be serious. have you met someone at the beach?” you got up from the chair and sat next to his legs on the edge of the bed.
“seriously y/n. they’re not for anyone. it wouldn’t be any of your business anyway.”
“excuse me?”
“why are you always in my business? i feel like you and jobe are spying on everything i do. and you try to get me to speak about everything. just leave me alone.”
“what the hell are you on about? we’ve never invaded your privacy. if you felt this way, you could’ve said something a long time ago.”
standing up in anger, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. everyone told everyone updates on their life, this wasn’t a secret tradition. surprisingly, jude would be the one sharing most of his life updates.
“you know what, you always take jobe’s side too. i feel left out every time. when i come around, you and him stop laughing and it gets all silent. i feel like i’m the bad guy.”
“jude, you’ve been acting fucking mental lately. i don’t know why you’re being like this, but you need to fix it. i asked a simple question, not a whole lecture from you.”
tears formed in your eyes as you went to leave the room.
“yeah, go run to jobe like you always do.” was the last thing you heard before slamming the door with a loud bam following it.
jobe was waiting outside the door, hearing everything. breaking down in his arms, you thought this vacation would be different.
----------the next morning--------------
the smell of syrup, eggs, and other breakfast goodies was lurking around the beach house.
not a word from jude after the argument. it wasn’t any surprise that everyone in the place heard what was happening. mark, jude and jobe’s dad, made sure to cook butterfly pancakes to try and cheer you up. something he loved doing for you since you were a child.
sitting down with a plate of eggs and toast, he placed the pancake in front of you with a little whipped cream in the middle. giving you a gentle pat on the back, you thanked him quietly. jobe sat down next to you, not wasting a chance to dig in.
all of a sudden, the hairs on your arms rose due to the coldness. awkwardness cooling down the food as jude walked into the room. jobe cleared his throat as he glanced at you before looking down. you continued to try and eat, even though he made you lose your appetite.
“morning.” jude said to his mom as he gave her a little peck on her forehead.
quick change of events as jude sat on the other side of you. it was normal of course, jude, you, and jobe. it was just unexpected that he pretended nothing happened.
everyone ate in awkward silence. except jude, humming and dancing as he ate. his mom looked at him in concern.
“what?” he questioned her, as she quickly shook her head no. “being awfully quiet this morning, what did i miss?” everyone looked at him in confusion.
“nothing, just eat.”
he threw his arms up, “hey, i’m not making this awkward. you guys are.” he got up and started washing his plate and fork.
he was right, we were the ones being awkward. it didn’t change the fact that you didn’t get an apology though. finishing up your breakfast, you forced yourself to approach him with your dirty dishes. putting it into the sink, you stood behind him, waiting for him to be done.
he slightly whispered to you, “it’s fine, i got it.” you nodded at him while you went to the balcony for a summer breeze. soon, your mother and denise joined you.
after a few hours of talking, you got a text from jude. reading,
hey, can we talk later? meet me at the beach in 2 hours.
you tried not to question it. yet, the thought lingered. jude always apologizes straight away after an argument. what made it different now? giving the message a thumbs up, you continued talking with the ladies.
“hey y/n, did jude text you?” denise asked you.
“yeah, he did. he told me to meet him in 2 hours at the beach, but that was about an hour ago.”
“oh honey, you should probably change then.” your mom chimed in.
“what’s wrong with what i’m wearing?”
“wearing pajama pants in hot sand is not very fabulous.” the two moms laughed as they rushed to put something together in your room.
after playing dress up through your suitcase, it was finally time to go. the sun was starting to set, the orange hitting the water perfectly. walking down the creaking wooden stairs, you weren’t sure to expect.
looking to your right, you hands flew on your mouth. a table surrounded with roses, forming a heart shape, was lit with a candle. standing there at the table was jude, with a bouquet of flowers. he looked very nervous.
walking up to him, you really admired the detail. you both started laughing at the sudden seriousness in the friendship.
“are you kidding me? this is surreal.” you hugged him and kissed him on his cheek.
“do you forgive me? is this too much? i didn’t know if the flowers were too much. i also didn’t know if you wanted sand in between your toes as you ate. i mean, i could literally get on my knees and beg for forgiveness. please, forgive me.” cutting him off, you placed a finger on his lips.
“of course i do. i could never stay mad at my best friend.”
“uh. ouch. i was actually going to ask you something. y/n, would you be my girlfriend.”
your mouth formed an ‘o’ shaped. he started tapping his feet in stress.
���i don’t see why i shouldn’t be.” dropping the flowers quickly on the seat, he hugged you.
in history of hugs throughout your friendship, this one was the best one. it marked a new beginning.
a new beginning of love.
-
to one of my lovely supporters - @judesthighveins
#football x reader#football fanfic#football imagine#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jobe bellingham x yn#jobe bellingham x you#jobe bellingham one shot#jobe bellingham fanfic#jobe bellingham imagine#jobe bellingham x reader#jobe bellingham#real madrid#sunderland afc
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I have an essay brewing in my head constantly about lawns. Which, well, unsurprising, since I post about how I hate lawns all the time, but I think the "lawn" and "landscaping" centered way of thinking about Places Outside is a Bigger Thing that Connects to Other Things
(What isn't? Having ideas about concepts is always like this.)
I will introduce my ideas by a situation where they apply: Sometimes life-forms mimic other life forms. One form of mimicry is called Vavilovian mimicry, where weed species in crops grown by humans evolve over time to be more similar to the crops.
Vavilovian mimicry basically helps weeds survive because the weeds are adapted to the care-taking regimen of the crops, and because the human caretakers of the crop can have a hard time telling them apart, which means they might say "Ehh...I'll wait until it grows up so I can be sure I'm not pulling up my crop."
I think there's something similar at work among flower gardens and landscaping...but it's different.
Regular people don't know the name of every plant that might possibly grow in their flower beds, and they often pull up plants they don't know just because they don't know them. They sometimes say they pull up a plant that "looks weedy" or "looks like a weed."
I think to myself...what does "weedy" look like?
This question collided unexpectedly in my brain with an insight I had about invasive species that I could not explain.
I have to get rid of a lot of Callery pear, wintercreeper, honeysuckle, burningbush, privet, English ivy, and other plants that are invasive where I live. And strangely- many invasive plants look similar in ways they don't share with very many native species. They tend to have small, round or squat, glossy leaves, and they tend to have a very dense growth habit.
I can think of several possible explanations: Maybe these species thrive in North America today because of the loss of controlled burning, but their characteristics look so distinct next to native species because they relate to things that would make a species fire-intolerant? This doesn't seem quite right, since it doesn't predict level of fire-adaptedness in native species.
Another explanation is better: they were selected for these traits by humans for their usefulness in landscaping. Dense growth habit would be useful for creating hedges or ground covers. This is why many invasives were originally planted, right? And small leaves might feel or be perceived as less "messy" when they fall.
But I think this is a clue to something else going on. What does "weedy" look like?
Some plants go on one side of "weeds vs. flowers" and some on the other, and it's almost totally arbitrary...so how do gardeners make the call so decisively?
I think about the commonest "landscaping" plants- Knock Out roses, hostas, petunias, begonias, boxwoods and so on- they share a lot of the characteristics mentioned above. Shiny or at least smooth, typically small and squat leaves, dense and compact growth habit.
Then I think about some of the commonest and most important "weedy" native wildflowers, such as goldenrods, asters, milkweeds, Joe-Pye weed, ironweed, sunflower. They all differ from the above in at least one striking way. Mostly, they have hairy leaves and stems, long and thin leaves, and a tendency to grow up tall before blooming. Milkweed has smooth leaves, but its leaves are long and very big. Hmm...
And I think I can guess where this is coming from.
Landscaping and garden designs often look like this
See how the plants are drawn and arranged to cover a space in two dimensions, mostly not overlapping with each other? This is very easy to plan and design. And those common landscaping plants I mentioned—hostas, Knock Out roses, boxwoods, and so on—are very good at acting just like a two-dimensional representation of them does. Just look, you can see them:
Now look at those important native wildflowers I mentioned:
Goldenrod
Ironweed
Milkweed
These guys don't fill much space in a horizontal plane, they go straight up. They don't exclude other plants from very much space either. Plants could grow under them and among them. So they're not very good for "filling up" space, and their opener, lankier, less dense shape doesn't do a good job at blocking other plants from growing.
In a garden of North American prairie- or meadow-adapted plants, the plants wouldn't exclude each other and stay within their designated spots because they're evolved to intermix with a great variety of plants.
"Separateness" is a big part of the typical "landscape" aesthetic. These plants are very neatly separate from each other. This is what looks "neat" and well-kept to us...the opposite of "weedy."
This could mean our garden and flower beds are affected by a selective pressure a lot like the Vavilovian mimicry situation. But instead of weeds being selected to look like intentionally grown plants, the intentionally grown plants are being selected to look different from weeds.
The subtle difference makes perfect sense. In a field, the rule is "leave the plant there if you're unsure" because that's your food. In a flower bed, the rule is "get rid of the plant if you're unsure" because having weeds is more aesthetically unacceptable than having blank space.
The point is: Ecology needs to be a big part of gardening and landscaping, because you are DOING ecology. Even if you don't know the evolutionary principles, you're acting them out.
Just like the ineffable preferences of female birds give the males weird elaborate display structures, ineffable aesthetic "senses" that govern our "built" world slowly turn it into something weird.
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I Think He Knows
SUMMARY: You've been in love with Joshua for as long as you can remember, yet you've never been able to tell him. Fortunately or unfortunately, you're pretty sure that he already knows.
GENRE: smut, fluff
PAIRING: Joshua Hong x afab!reader
WC: 4.9k
SERIES MASTERLIST
PERM TAGLIST: @winterchimez @juyeonszn @flwoie
SERIES TAGLIST: @captain-brie @nobraincellmode @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan
18+ MDNI AGLESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED
WARNINGS: uhhh, best friends to lovers, Hoshi being a snitch, p in v sex, brief oral (fem receiving), ddry humping, a bit of spanking, brat tamer!Joshua, brat!reader, tiny bit of angst if you really really squint, consent is IMPORTANT, tiny bit of alcohol, horrible flirting, multiple orgasms, idk this isn't my best work. It's also not edited so uh....good luck lol.
A/N: heyyyyyy 🥰. I'm not dead clearly, but my god has it been a minute. part of me is wondering if this series will ever be done but i'm doing my best. school sucks, work sucks, life is a bitch, and I burnt myself out. Anyway, thank you to Brie and Ally for betaing, much love kiss kiss. ALSO HAPPY VALENTINES DAYYYY
Your heart pounds ferociously in your chest, butterflies tumbling through your stomach uncomfortably. You feel like a teenager again, sitting in front of Joshua who has a boyish grin on his face. One of his hands traces along the bottom of his champagne glass, the other resting on the table and playing with the cork of the expensive bottle. You wonder if he knows how he makes your head spin with just a little smile and a glass of champagne. The thought doesn’t linger for long, and you let your gaze lower back to the practically empty plate before you. A few roasted vegetables remain on the plate, and you pick at them with your fork to avoid looking at your friend.
Friends. That’s what you are. Nothing more, nothing less. As you always had been.
Friends that took each other out to expensive restaurants, bought expensive drinks and expensive meals. Friends that—
“Soonyoung told me something interesting today,” he leans forward, dipping his head down to try and catch your eye. You glance up at him, but the fluttering in your stomach returns and forces your eyes back down.
“Oh yeah?” You murmur, thanking god for the dim lighting around you.
“Mhm. He mentioned you, actually.”
Pause.
Kwon Soonyoung was the only person in the world who knew about your years-long crush on your best friend. If you could even call it a crush at this point. You’d admitted to yourself long ago that you were in love with him, admitted it to Soonyoung a few months back. You should’ve known better than to trust the mouthiest person in your friend group.
“Now I’m curious,” you lift your head again, steeling yourself against the onslaught of nausea at what your mutual friend could have said.
“He said,” Joshua shifts in his seat, running his tongue over his lower lip. “That you have feelings for me.”
Damn you Kwon Soonyoung.
You nod slowly, lowering your fork onto the ceramic plate in front of you. The pounding in your chest has returned, hitting so hard against your ribs that you fear your heart will pop out and land right on the table in front of Joshua.
“And…do you believe him?” You ask, failing to control the fear in your voice. Joshua smiles, and for a moment you let the fear wash away. Joshua Hong is the last person that you should feel afraid of. He was kind, he would never intentionally harm someone whether emotionally or physically, and he understood you better than most other people. You try to keep this in mind as you make eye contact.
“I would be lying if I said that I didn’t at least hope he was telling the truth.” Joshua sits up, lacing his hands together and resting his elbows on the table. A spark, and you find the corners of your lips lifting. “Otherwise, my plans for the evening are a bit…a bit ruined, I guess.”
“You had other plans?” The champagne burns against the back of your throat as you down the rest of your glass.
“Depends on how you respond to my question.” His eyes burn into yours and suddenly the table for two feels a lot smaller.
“What question is that?” I already know, and I know my answer.
“Are you,” Joshua slides his glass to the side, “in love with me.”
“Yes.” You respond without hesitation, ripping the band-aid off and shocking both of you. Never had you been this forward with Joshua. You were always somewhat reserved with…everything, really. Past relationships, struggling with a subject, a pet passing away. You never wanted to let Joshua in and it made his heart swell that you did now. “I’ve— I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.”
Joshua sucks in a sharp breath of air, leaning back in his seat and smiling thoughtfully.
“I answered your questions,” you drum your painted nails on the table. “Now you get to answer mine.”
“Ask away.” Joshua waves his hand.
“What sort of plans did you have for us?”
The question was innocent— at least to you it was— but as you watch Joshua’s eyes darken with lust, you realize that the implications…may not have been as innocent as you had believed. You think he knows where your mind has derailed to, knows what thoughts have begun to plague you.
Joshua tips back his glass of champagne, and you watch him carefully. You allow yourself to admire the way his neck cranes, the way his jaw is hit by the light. He drains the golden liquid in two long sips, wiping away the excess that rested on his lips with a delicate swipe of his thumb.
“We’ll get to that,” he emphasizes the word, watching you tilt your head down and bite at your lip. “I have some other things I’d like to do before anything else.”
He flags down your waiter, calmly asking for the bill. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, disturbed by how the mild flirting had already gotten you worked up, but wait patiently for Joshua. You wouldn’t deny the fact that you were eager to see what he had in store for the two of you, what he’d planned on such short notice.
“You ready?” He taps the table with one finger, already beginning to stand.
“As I’ll ever be.” Your lips twist into a smile as he helps to pull out your chair, grabbing your jacket before you even had a chance to reach for it. “Aren’t you just a gentleman?”
“You should know by now that all I’m doing is the bare minimum.” He scolds, and you don’t pretend you don’t notice his eyes flicking from your eyes to your lips.
“Best friends don’t pull out chairs for each other.” It’s a joke, both of you know it. You’re fully aware that after tonight, neither of you will ever be best friends again. Whether he asks you to stay with him or not, at the end of the night nothing will be the same. This doesn’t, however, stop Joshua from scoffing and tugging you by the waist to come closer to him. You stumble, nearly falling into his chest had his hands not been right there to catch you.
“I think you know,” his voice is a quiet rumble, “that we’re never going to be best friends again after this, Y/N. You’re mine now, and I don’t think I’ll ever let you go.”
You have to fight everything inside of you to not yank him down by that dark hair of his and kiss him in the middle of that crowded restaurant. Thankfully, it looks as if Joshua is fighting that same urge, one hand dropping down and the other sliding to the small of your back to guide you toward the door.
You’re mine now.
It’s a wonder that you make it to the car without jumping Joshua’s bones, but it seems you have more self-control than you’d given yourself credit for. The whole ride to…wherever it was that Joshua was taking you, you somehow managed to keep your hands in your lap, rubbing at your palm with your thumb. From the corner of your eye, you can see Joshua. He has one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting on the center console. He glances at you periodically, scanning your side profile.
“You’ve gotten quiet,” Joshua comments, drumming his fingers while you wait at a stoplight. Your eyes flick to his, and you purse your lips. “Are you…did I make you uncomfortable at all? Do— do you want me to bring you home?”
“No,” you tell him quickly, shaking your head. “No. I want to stay with you.”
The response soothes him, and he lets his hand drift to your thigh. He lets it hover over your exposed skin, waiting for you to push him away before he finally lets it rest on you. His hand is warm, his touch sending sparks through your body. You swallow hard, leaning back against the seat and staring at the road in front of you. Would it be wrong to tell him you want him to touch you more? To bring his hands just a bit higher, to—
Joshua’s hand squeezes a bit, drawing you back to reality. The light is green now and your body jerks as he presses on the gas. He lets his hand drift a bit higher, grazing underneath the fabric of your dress before stopping. Heat begins to pool in the pit of your stomach and you contemplate grabbing his hand and putting it right where you need it if he doesn’t move faster.
“You’re a menace.” You click your tongue and Joshua looks at you with a mocking pout.
“I didn’t do anything!”
He’s right. Technically he hadn’t done anything. You, however, were on the verge of doing something very…inappropriate if he didn’t knock it off.
“I’m sure you didn’t.” You let your hand fall to his, tracing the back of it with your pointer finger, and watch the veins pop as he squeezes for the third time. You’re approaching a very familiar street with some very familiar houses. “Are we…are we going back to my place?”
Joshua smirks. “Small change of plans.”
The giddiness inside of you returns, your head spinning as you think of all the things he could (and likely would) do to you. Your fingers lace through his, your heel-clad foot tapping against the floor protector in his car as he pulls into your driveway. He puts the car into park but leaves the engine running. For a few moments, neither of you says anything. The air between you is thick with tension, tension that grows when he tugs you toward him.
“Tell me now if you don’t want this.” Joshua breathes out, his lips mere centimeters from your own. If you tilt your head just a bit, you’ll be able to kiss him— something you’ve craved since the day you met him. “Tell me now and I’ll walk you to your door and say goodnight.”
“And if I do want this?” Your eyebrow arches, a playful look in your eyes. “What then, Joshua Hong?”
His eyes flutter, exhaling heavily as he tries to keep his composure.
“You’re going to be the death of me, I think.”
When Joshua kisses you, it isn’t as rough as you’d imagined. No, he’s gentle with you. His kiss ignites a fire inside of you, the flames swirling through your veins and heating your body until you fear you’re burning up. He cradles your jaw in one large hand as if you were glass and you would shatter if he held you too roughly. His lips move softly against your own, parting the slightest bit to catch your lower lip with his teeth. It’s a delicate dance, almost playful, and you couldn’t have asked for anything more. Your head tilts, allowing you to kiss him deeper, and a quiet groan leaves him. You smile a bit into the kiss, Your hand sliding up his chest to curl into the fabric of his shirt and pull him closer to you. Both of you ignore the fact that your body is halfway across the center console, your thigh resting on the seat between his legs keeping you propped up when his hands become distracted by the curves in your hips
The two of you only stop when you feel like you can’t breathe, your chest tight with the lack of air.
“You taste good,” Joshua murmurs, his nose nudging yours as he gazes at you with heavy eyes.
“You think so?” Your lips press against his jaw, and he smiles tightly.
“Mhm.”
“You should turn off the car and take me inside so you can find out what else tastes good.”
That must have been the right thing to say, because Joshua’s eyes darken in an instant and then he’s shutting the engine off, slamming his car door shut, and walking quickly over to your side. When he opens your door, you don’t wait for him to outstretch his hand before you practically spring to your feet, grabbing him by the sleeve and yanking him after you. He laughs as he stumbles along behind you, tugging his arm out of your grasp and squeezing at your waist over the fabric of your dress. Your hands are trembling, the heat in your stomach growing more intense by the minute.
“Struggling, pretty girl?”
His breath against your ear and his lips on your neck sends chills down your spine and you inhale sharply as his hand wraps around yours to help you guide the key into the lock. Your eyes are starting to flutter, your feet stumbling into the foyer of your home. Joshua presses you onward, one of his hands on the small of your back and the other flicking on the lights. You spin around to face him, your hands coming to his chest and curling around his tie to pull him down to kiss you again.
“At least let me get you upstairs,” he mumbles against your lips, grinning when you whine in protest.
“Can’t wait that long,” you deny, already fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He grins, backing you through the doorway to your living room.
He stops your movements to spin you away from him. You face your window now, curtains drawn and the windows to your neighbor's house across the street staring right back at you. “All your neighbors will see us. Is that what you want?” He’s kissing down your neck, hands trailing to the back of your dress to undo the clasp.
“Let them see.” You hold your head high, hands clenching into fists as the fabric slides down your body and hits the ground with a soft thump, leaving your body completely bare except for a thin pair of lacey panties. “Let’s put on a show for them.”
“Interesting.” Joshua seems entirely unaffected by the statement, but the way he pulls you back against him to grind against the growing bulge in his pants is saying something entirely different. “Didn’t take you as someone to like being watched. I’ll have to explore that another time.”
You mean to respond, words forming at the tip of your tongue but never escaping your lips as Joshua pushes at your shoulder, slowly guiding you to the ground. Your knees fold beneath you, your eyes wide and filled with stars as he moves into your line of vision and then away from you. You watch as he lets the curtains fall and cover your windows, and then he turns back to face you and continues to unbutton his shirt, loosening his tie until it hangs loosely around his shoulders.
“What are you doing, Shua?” Your voice is weaker than you’d wanted it to be.
Joshua smiles coyly, leaning down until he’s at eye level with you. “I said that I would explore that at a later date, pretty girl. Not tonight. Tonight, you’re mine.”
“Yours?” Your hand rises to cup his cheek similarly to how he held yours just a few minutes ago.
“Mine.”
His knees hit the ground on either side of you, leaning over your body until you’re forced to lay back. Your legs stretch out to make his position a bit more comfortable, your knees rubbing together in anxious anticipation for what’s to come.
You expect him to kiss you, your lips starting to pucker and your eyes fluttering shut as he lowers his face to yours once again, but nothing happens. Your eyes open to find him mere inches from you with that same smirk playing on his lips.
“What are you smirking at?” You ask him, but he doesn’t answer. He shifts further down your body, laying a soft kiss on your collarbone that has your breath hitching briefly. Another kiss, this one closer to where your heart lays pounding underneath your ribs. Your hand twitches, aching to run through his hair, but the second you move to act on this urge he’s pinning your hand to the ground and glowering at you.
“No touching.” Joshua commands, mouthing at the soft flesh of your breast. “Not until I’ve tasted every last inch of your skin.”
He slips further down your body, leaving trails of soft kisses in his wake. The only sound in the house is the soft pop as his lips leave your skin and the heaviness of your breathing.
When Joshua reaches the hem of your panties, he stops and trails his finger along it. The brush of his skin on yours is so subtle, yet you’re addicted to the feeling of it. So many nights you had cum to the thought of him tugging your panties down your legs, his eyes boring into yours as he lowers his mouth to your glistening cunt, imagining how it would feel to have him licking and sucking nipping at your folds. So many nights, and yet nothing comes even close to how it really feels.
The second he runs his tongue from your hole to your clit, your back is arching off the ground and a loud gasp is echoing throughout your home. Your hands fly to Joshua’s hair despite his prior instructions, but he doesn’t seem to care as he drags his tongue and teeth across you. Your legs try to squeeze around his head, attempt to trap him against you, but he doesn’t let you. His large hands pry your legs away from him, squeezing harshly at your thighs and pinning them to the ground on either side of you.
He mumbles into your cunt with loud and drawn out sounds that reverberate through your body and have your legs jerking with pleasure.
“Shua,” you gasp out, your eyes rolling as he sucks particularly hard at your clit. “Shua, fuck.”
A loud smack rings out, and your thigh begins to sting. Your eyes widen, your head lifting off the ground at the same time that Joshua’s pulls away from you, his mouth dripping with your arousal.
“What the fuck—”
Another smack to the side of your thigh, and you yelp. Joshua raises an eyebrow.
“Want me to keep going?” You can’t tell if he’s insane or not. You can’t tell if you want to smack him or beg him for more. You don’t get the chance to retort before he’s smacking your thigh again, harder this time. “That wasn’t rhetorical, pretty girl.”
Your teeth grind together, and one of your feet comes to his shoulder to shove him back. Maybe he lets you push him back. Maybe he wants you to fight back. Maybe he was waiting for it, because when you lean your body over him, he’s grinning maliciously at you.
“Who do you think you are, smacking me like that?” You hiss, and he pouts.
“Like what? Like this?” His hand comes down again, this time directly on your ass and sending waves of pain and pleasure through your body.
“Joshua Hong,” you snap, but there’s no real anger behind it as you begin to grind your lower body into his clothed cock. His hands come to rest on your waist, watching as you try to form words and pleasure yourself at the same time. “If you keep pulling shit—”
Smack
Your body shudders and an airy moan pushes out of your lips despite how you fight it. Joshua grins again.
“What were you saying, pretty girl? If I keep pulling shit…what? What are you going to do, baby?”
You can’t answer him, your hips rolling into his harder and faster as you approach your high.
“Oh, baby.” Joshua coos, his voice shockingly stable despite how you’re practically riding him over his pants, effectively ruining them with your juices. “You’re a little desperate, aren’t you?”
“Oh shut up,” you whine, folding forward until your mouth is right next to his ear. Your moans and whines are right in his ear now, intentional on your part, and his grip on your waist tightens. “Feels so good, Joshie.”
“Yeah?” He’s quieter now, a low growl in the back of his throat as he fights to keep his hips on the ground. Fights to let you have your little moment, your little bit of control over him. “How good, baby?”
“Gonna cum,” your lips find the skin beneath his ear, sucking a mark into his flesh as your hips begin to stutter. “F— god, Shua, please!”
“It’s okay, pretty girl,” Joshua coos, a bit of pride welling in his chest at how fast you learned. “You can let go. Go ahead and cum for me, pretty girl.”
Almost as soon as he says those words, you’re letting out a loud, near pitiful moan and your body begins to shake over his. A wave of arousal soaks into his pants, seeping through and beginning to wet his boxers, but he doesn’t mind. Not when the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen is cumming for him, moaning his name and no one else’s.
Joshua can’t stop his hips from jerking into yours, pleasuring you even as your orgasm begins to ebb away. When he sits up, he cradles the back of your head in one hand, his eyes boring into yours in such a way that has you whining for him, clinging to his shoulders and turning away.
“So pretty when you cum,” Joshua murmurs, lifting the two of you up and giving you a second to wrap your arms and legs around him as he loops around your living room to the couch. “Gonna fuck you now, okay pretty girl?”
“Okay,” you nod, but your eyes aren’t focusing and neither is your mind. It feels like you’re on cloud 9, and Joshua hasn’t even taken his pants off yet.
He peers down at you, mild concern showing in his delicate features.
“Y/N,” his hands are caressing your sides gently, pulling you back down to focus on him. “You good?”
“I’m fine,” you promise, smiling lightly at him. “I just…it’s hard for me to actually, like, believe that you want me how I want you.”
Joshua smiles. “And how, exactly, do you want me?”
“Wholly. I want everything. I want all your love, all of your problems, every doubt, and every moment— good or bad.” His eyes soften as you speak, and for the first time that night he’s the one that’s gone quiet. “I want you carnally, I want you to crave my touch and my taste as much as I crave yours. Every kiss, every intimate moment. I want them all.”
“And you’ll have them.” Joshua promises, and then he’s kissing you again. It’s a deep, lingering kiss. His lips part against your own, your tongues dancing together but not dominating each other. Your hands cup his neck, holding him close to you, and in that moment you don’t hear the clinking of his belt or the sound of his zipper sliding down.
“You promise?” You pull away from him, your lungs burning from the lack of air. Joshua smiles at you, and his lips press against your forehead.
“I think you know the answer to that, pretty girl.”
And you do.
He would never have to say it, you always know. Joshua Hong, in all the years you’d been best friends, had never once told you something if he didn’t 100% believe it, if he wasn’t absolutely sure that he would or could hold himself to it. He didn’t have to promise you, you could see it in the way he looked at you. Soft eyes, pretty smile, that little wrinkle in his nose. You knew the answer.
“I’m gonna start pushing in now,” Joshua murmurs, aligning his cock with your entrance, shuddering at the seemingly never ending flow of arousal. “Let me know if you need me to slow down or stop.”
“Okay,” you nod, draping your arms over his shoulders and forcing your body to relax.
He pushes in slowly, but the stretch of him filling every little crevice inside of your cunt stings and causes you to let out a whimper.
“I know,” he whispers, “just take it all, baby. Take it all for me like a good girl.”
Your body shudders at that, and you let your head fall back onto the cushion below you. Inch by painful inch, he slides into you until your body begins to convulse and try to force him out.
“Baby,” Joshua grinds out between gritted teeth, “You gotta stop clenching like that.”
“I— I can’t.” You moan out, your back arching off the couch. “Hurts so good, Shua.”
“That so?” Joshua grunts and shoves the last few inches into you, relishing in the pretty little wail that escapes you. “That’s another thing I’ll have to make note of, huh?”
He doesn’t give you much time to respond before he’s hauling your legs up and around his waist, one hand gripping the arm of the couch and the other planted beside your head. A silver chain dangles above you, glittering in the low lighting of the living room but capturing your attention just long enough to tell Joshua to start moving.
“Can’t,” he tells you breathlessly. “Fuck, clenching so tight I can’t move.”
“I don’t care.” You whine. “Just fuck me, please Shua, please, please, please fuck me—”
He cuts you off with a sharp thrust of his hips, shoving his dick just that tiny bit further into you that has you gasping as the air is punched out of your chest.
“You’re lucky I love you.” He groans as he slowly pulls back, his dick practically drenched in your arousal, and then thrusts sharply back in, sheathing entirely inside of you. You cry loudly, a tear slipping down your cheeks and your legs tightening around his waist. Joshua repeats the action again and again, drinking in the way your head lolls to the side, your tongue practically hanging out of your mouth.
Then he begins to fuck you, just as you asked. He thrusts into you with hard, deep strokes that have you wailing and thrashing against the couch cushion. Your body is convulsing beneath him, and he can only watch like a god watching his worshippers, as you beg for him to fuck you harder, faster, deeper as if he isn’t already going hard and fast and deep to a point beyond your fucked out mind’s comprehension. The couch shifts slightly on the ground, scraping against your hardwood floor, but the sound is drowned out by the combined volume of your cries and moans and whimpers along with his grunts and little moans.
“Close,” he grunts, his head dropping to your chest to bite and suck at one of your tits. “Fuck, I’m so close.”
You clench around him in response, your back arching off the cushion to get closer to his mouth, relishing in the pleasure he’s providing you. “S—so good, Shua. Fuckin’ me so good.”
“Yeah?” He pulls away from your chest, a sheen of sweat covering his forehead as he stares down at you. “Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum all over your best friend?”
Your body shudders in response, and suddenly your vision goes white. You can faintly hear your own voice, your own pleads and screams of Joshua’s name as he pounds into you, forcing your juices out of you and giving you no time to recover from your orgasm before he’s shifting his hips and driving his cock into a spot inside of you that has you seeing stars. Your hand clamps down over your mouth to muffle the animalistic sounds that pour out of you, but Joshua rips your hand away, pinning it down on the couch.
“Don’t you dare muffle a single sound that comes out of you,” he hisses. “Not a single one.”
You don’t have the strength, will, or energy to respond to him. Not as his cock begins to twitch inside of you and another orgasm threatens to wash over your body. One of Joshua’s hands, the one that had been pinning your hand to the couch, moves over your hip, and his eyes stay on you as his thumb begins to rub hard circles into your clit.
“Oh my—” your voice cracks. “Fuck, oh my god, Shua!”
“Cum for me,” he grunts, forcing his orgasm back so he doesn’t cum before you, despite you already having done so twice now. “Now, baby. God, please cum for me.”
And you do.
It crashes over you like a rockslide, rough and strong, and crushing everything in its path. Your cunt clenches around Joshua so tightly you fear you might break him, but he only moans out your name and begins to spill white-hot cum inside of you. The combined fluids from the both of you are forced out as Joshua continues to fuck into you, slowly now compared to before. Soft, deep thrusts that carefully bring you down from the edge until both of you have finished, laying spent on your now ruined couch.
“That…” your voice is raspy. “Is that how you’re gonna fuck me every night?”
“Is that how you want me to fuck you every night?” Joshua’s tongue laves over your skin, pressing gentle kisses against your neck.
You think he knows the answer, but you tell him anyway with a sly grin on your face.
“You promised.”
© itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.
#itsbeeble#reese's works 📩#reese's moots#brie~ 🫧#ally~ ⛄️#fawn~ 🧼#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop fluff#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#joshua hong#joshua hong imagines#joshua hong smut#joshua hong x reader#joshua hong fluff#seventeen joshua#svt joshua#svt x reader#svt joshua imagines
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hate it when someone's kind of a bitch 2 u + then they tell u something vulnerable about themselves + it's like. man i did not want 2 know this. not because it humanizes u but because if i fight back, i'll hit below the belt.
#like when they're actively being kinda bitchy/manipulative with u#if we're buds + we're cool + we just get annoyed sometimes it's different 'cause i actually care about that person lol#actually holy shit what the hell is this dumpster fire of a program. there's drama literally everywhere. spilling over like popcorn in one#a those popcorn machines#damn i actually feel quite relieved now.#like everyone's got beef with everyone + i'm just collateral. which pisses me off LOL 'cause i'm always collateral but it's better than#being downright hated i guess#but damn i gotta say i have never been around this many control freaks in my life. too many fuckin cooks
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ten things yang jeongin says when he thinks you’re asleep — fluff, established relationship, a bit of angst
chan | lee know | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | JEONGIN
one. i was thinking about you earlier. nothing in particular, just—who you are. and it made me wish i’d known you sooner. everything about my life right now is infinitely better now that you’re in it.
two. i’d give anything to stop time every moment that i’m with you.
three. i found my old diary when i went home today. i know, yes, i was an angsty teenage boy with a diary. i quickly went through it just to see what i wrote. ah, if you saw it, you’d definitely laugh. but… one entry caught my eye. it was from a few years ago and it was at a point of my life when i thought nobody could ever love me. not even in a romantic sense, just generally and i was praying to anyone who would listen that i’d find someone who’d understand. i’m glad i held on and didn’t break because a year later, i met you. funny how things turn out, right? i don’t even know why i’m telling you this. i just, i guess i just wanted to thank you for coming into my life. you’re the kind of person i always hoped i’d find.
four. i know i’m not the best at understanding emotions, but i feel them very deeply with you. please give me time. i promise i’ll get to know my feelings better.
five. seungmin told me earlier how i don’t say ‘i love you’ a lot. he’s right, but it’s only because i don’t want my expressions of love to be light. that’s why i don’t say it often because i don’t want it to be thrown around like that. i want to say it in important moments. but i find that i want to tell you that every day. i think it’s because every moment with you is important to me. so, please don’t think my words are empty when i say them too much. i promise it’s never light when i tell you i love you. i mean it. i mean it so much that sometimes it scares me.
six. do you know the exact moment i knew i was in love with you? i can still remember it clearly. it wasn’t anything crazy, in fact it was just an ordinary day. you were over at my dorm and we had been laughing at this romcom that just came out, and then i felt it. i felt it when i had looked at you, how i wouldn't mind doing this forever. i hope i can love you for the rest of my life.
seven. i always think back fondly of college because of you. it would've been hell if it wasn't with you.
eight. i was thinking earlier, about how fleeting life really is. i don't—i don't even know what triggered me to think about it. how someone could be alive one minute and then gone the next. i don't like that... i don't like how abrupt endings always are. i don't want any moment with you to be the last, god, i can't even bear the thought of losing you. ah, fuck, i'm crying. fuck, sorry. i just, please don't leave me. please don't let it happen to you. i know you have no control over it, but please, please, please. please.
nine. cheer up, darling. i know things don't look too good right now, but what if things just get better from now on? i promise that your efforts at healing are adding up, so just hold onto me for now. you will always have me to hold on to.
ten. you are the best thing that's ever been mine.
#k-labels#stray kids x reader#jeongin x reader#i.n x reader#i.n. x reader#skz x reader#stray kids drabbles#stray kids blurbs#stray kids imagines#stray kids scenarios#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#yang jeongin x reader#stray kids drabble#stray kids oneshot#stray kids fluff#jeongin fluff#i.n imagine#i.n fluff#i.n. scenarios#i.n. fluff#i.n. imagines#yang jeongin imagines#yang jeongin scenarios#yang jeongin drabbles#yang jeongin fluff
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Hello, how are you? Could i request an angsty but smutty and fluff fic of Elijah and reader where they get into a fight but makeup in the end?
Stubborn
18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
You and Elijah get into a fight about his protective nature. He thinks you are too stubborn, and you think he's too controlling. How will you resolve your issues?
♡♡ Thanks for the request anon! I don't know if this is very angsty, but it certainly is very smutty ♡♡
4.1k words - Warnings: smuttttt, very little plot, Cami being the best, dom!elijah (you like him in control? well... here you go...), fingering, squirting, angry sex...
"I'm not some damsel in distress, I don't need your protection!" You yelled, louder than you meant to. Arguing with Elijah was always a test of your restraint. He made it so damn difficult, he was always calm and composed. Sometimes you just wanted to push his buttons.
"Darling, I have so many enemies, and you're not invincible." He tried to reason.
"Don't patronize me, I know that, but you treat me like I can't take care of myself!" You snapped, pacing around the living room. You tried to calm yourself down, you didn't want to say something you'd regret, but the anger bubbling inside you wouldn't go away.
"I'm not trying to patronize you, I just think you could make better decisions." He said softly, his eyes following you as you paced.
"It's like you're treating me like a child! We're supposed to be equals, and you always talk to me like you're the parent and I'm the kid!" Your voice cracked a little, when you got angry you also would cry. You hated that about yourself.
Elijah could see the pain in your eyes, you were his soft and sweet y/n. He just wanted to protect you. He tried to approach you, to hold you and comfort you, but you pushed him away.
His actions made you feel weak, and foolish, here was a man that faced countless dangers, he was centuries old, he fought vampires and werewolves, witches and even his own siblings. And you were just this fragile thing, this tiny human he had to watch out for. It made you feel so weak and pathetic, all your insecurities bubbling up inside you, the tears falling down your cheeks.
You stormed away from him, and he let you, because he knew if he pushed you, it would just make things worse.
You had been dating Elijah for two months now, and in that time, he had taken on the role of a protective boyfriend. You liked being taken care of, but sometimes it felt like he didn't see you as an equal.
You had been arguing about this a lot lately. You didn't like being treated like you were breakable. You weren't. You had dealt with plenty of dangers in your life, and he didn't give you enough credit.
He was a stubborn man, and you were a stubborn woman, so the tension kept rising, until you finally had to get away from him. So you decided to stay at Cami's for a few days, she was a good friend, and she didn't judge you. She could always use some company anyways.
"So, he's a bit over protective, huh?" Cami asked. You were curled up on her couch, drinking a glass of wine. You were both having a night in, wearing pajamas and doing self-care.
"Yeah, and I know he means well, but I really value my independence, it's not something I'm willing to give up," You admitted.
"Do you feel like he doesn't respect you?" She asked, taking a sip of her own wine.
"No, he does, I know that, but it feels like he doesn't trust me." You said, looking down into your glass.
Cami stood and grabbed some snacks, tossing you a bag of your favorite chips. "I don't think that's it, I think he's scared. Scared to lose you. He's been through so much, and he's lost a lot of people he's loved." She said, plopping back down on the couch.
You let out a long sigh, you knew of his pain, but it was still hard to hear out loud. He held all of his trauma inside him, and sometimes it was difficult for him to share, even with you.
"I love him Cami, it's just hard. I've always had to take care of myself, I guess I just have a hard time accepting someone wanting to do that for me." You said softly, feeling the tears brimming your eyes.
"Have you told him that? That you love him?" She asked.
"No, I... I want him to say it first." You admitted.
Cami chuckled and took a long sip of her wine, then grabbed the remote and turned on a movie. It was one of those sappy romances that were so over the top and cheesy. But that's why they were so fun to watch.
"Just tell him. I'm sure he loves you too." Cami said, her gaze fixed on the tv.
"I know," you sighed, "I just want him to initiate, his so reserved, and I'm tired of always being the one who has to take the first step." You grumbled.
"He's probably worried about scaring you away, or making things awkward, you know how he can be." She said, turning to look at you, giving you a comforting smile.
"Yeah, I guess." You mumbled, curling up further on the couch.
Cami gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and the two of you continued to watch your movie, the sappy love story playing out in front of you.
"So," she said, breaking the silence, "how's the sex?"
You choked on your wine, sputtering a bit before regaining your composure. Cami was a little shit sometimes.
"The sex is amazing," You said, smirking at her. "But... I'm always the one initiating it. Sometimes I think his biggest problem is that he's too gentlemanly."
"Well, what have you done to make him be more spontaneous?" Cami asked, grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring more in her glass.
"Me?" You squeaked. "What did I do?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to take control because you never gave him permission." She asked.
You sat and thought about that. You were usually the one who would start things. You initiated kisses, hugs, hand holding, even the sex. Elijah was so reserved, so proper, he didn't want to overstep. It made you feel like he didn't desire you, which was ridiculous, you had seen him undressing you with his eyes.
"That's fair." You said. "I didn't realize he was waiting for permission."
"Men are idiots." Cami stated, making you laugh.
"Sometimes," you said, chuckling. "I just want to see him be the one to initiate, you know?"
"I know." She said, leaning back on the couch.
You finished the bottle of wine and watched the rest of the movie. It was so sweet, the ending was a happy one, the couple was together and they were in love. You wished life was that simple.
The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and a dry mouth. Cami was already awake, making coffee.
"Ugh," you groaned, rubbing your temples. "I should have drank more water,"
"I tried to remind you." Cami said, smirking at you.
"Well, excuse me for being drunk," You replied.
She handed you a mug of coffee, and you sipped it slowly, letting the warmth of the drink soothe your throat.
"Thanks for letting me stay here," you said.
"You know I don't mind." She replied, sitting on the couch next to you.
You leaned your head on her shoulder, sighing.
"I love him, but I think I need some space. Some time to myself." You said softly.
"I think that's a good idea." She replied.
"Are we doing the right thing? Am I being selfish?" You asked, chewing your bottom lip.
"No, you're not. You're being realistic. You need some space and some time to yourself." She replied.
"I'm going to go to the compound and pick up some clothes and stuff." You said.
"Want me to come with you?" She asked.
"No, that's ok, I think I can handle myself." You replied, smiling at her.
She gave you a reassuring squeeze and you got up, feeling a bit better after your talk.
"Thanks Cami, I'll call you later," You said, grabbing your keys and heading out.
Elijah was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking a glass of whiskey, and he had a book open in front of him, though he wasn't reading it. His mind was too preoccupied. He missed you terribly, it had only been a couple days, but it felt like an eternity.
He thought back to the last conversation you had had. You had stormed off, and he hadn't chased after you, because he knew you needed time to cool down. He wanted to tell you he was sorry, but he knew you didn't want to hear it right now.
You were the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he didn't want to lose you. He was used to losing people, he had spent centuries running, he had been betrayed, lied to, hurt. But he had never met anyone quite like you.
You were sweet, funny, smart, and caring. He had fallen for you quickly, but he had been too afraid to admit it. Like if he said it out loud, everything would fall apart.
But in your absence he realized his mistake, and how foolish he had been. No more wasting time, he needs to tell you that he loves you, despite how stubborn you are.
You walked into the compound, it was eerily quiet, you hoped Elijah was out. So you could just quickly grab your things and leave.
You didn't expect him to be waiting for you in the kitchen, his face was serious, but his eyes were full of emotion.
"Elijah, I'm just here to pick up some clothes," You said, trying to walk past him. He stepped in front of you, blocking your way.
"We need to talk." He said, his tone firm.
"No, we really don't, I just want my things," You said, trying to move around him. He moved again, his arms crossed, and his face was stern.
"Stop treating me like a child! Let me by!" You yelled. He let you pass him and you ran up to your bedroom, grabbing some clothes.
He followed you and stood in the doorway, watching you, his eyes boring into your skin.
"Stop looking at me like that," You said, throwing some clothes into a bag.
"I hate seeing you upset," He replied, his voice soft.
"I'm not upset, I'm just angry." You said, moving past him to go into the bathroom, grabbing your toothbrush.
He followed you and leaned against the doorframe, watching you gather your toiletries.
"Please, let's just talk." He pleaded.
You sighed, looking up at him, his expression was pained, his jaw was clenched. You could see the desperation in his eyes. Your anger was still in charge though and you pushed past him again and started packing your things on the bed.
"So talk, I'm listening," You said harshly, still not looking at him.
He took a deep breath, his fists clenched, and he closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself. He knew he couldn't get through to you when you were angry like this.
"You're right," He said, opening his eyes and looking at you. "I'm sorry. I haven't been treating you fairly. I've been trying to protect you. But you are being stubborn and you're not letting me explain,"
You turned to look at him, trying to ignore how good he looked. His hair was messy, like he had been running his hands through it, and he was wearing a black shirt, his sleeves rolled up, and his tie was hanging loose around his neck. A part of you wanted to just give in and kiss him, but the other part of you was still pissed off.
He could hear your heart beating faster, your body temperature rising. He knew that he had an effect on you, and he was enjoying seeing you get flustered. He gave you a crooked smirk, and took a step closer to you, and you backed up, hitting the bed.
You took a shaky breath, trying to steady your breathing. You were angry, but his presence always made your body react, and your head spin.
"So stubborn," he growled, pushing you onto the bed.
"Fuck you, Elijah," you hissed, trying to sit up.
"Not today," he smirked, pinning you down with his weight.
"I said, fuck you," You growled, pushing on his chest.
He chuckled and leaned down, his face inches from yours. His eyes were dark, his lips curled up in a devilish smile.
"Say please," He purred, his breath ghosting over your lips.
You let out a frustrated groan, and he kissed you, hard. You whimpered, and he slipped his tongue into your mouth, exploring it, tasting you.
"Is this what you want? To be fucked?" He whispered, his lips grazing your ear.
"No," you lied, trying to squirm away from him, but his grip was too tight.
"Don't lie, darling, your body betrays you," He growled, nibbling your earlobe before leaving a trail of hickeys down your neck.
He suddenly tore the shirt off of you, making you gasp. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his other hand moving to your waist, pulling your skirt off.
"Eli- my clothes!" You whined, but he just chuckled, his eyes roaming your body.
"I'll buy you new ones," He smirked, nipping at your jaw, then capturing your lips with his.
"You can't just-" you were cut off by him biting your lip. You groaned and he released you, his hands roaming your body.
"Stop being so stubborn," He whispered, his fingers brushing over your lace panties, making you shiver.
"I'm not," you argued, biting back a moan as his fingers teased your clit.
He laid on his side next to you, opening your legs and pushing your panties out of the way. He grazed over your clit with the pad of his index finger, teasing you slowly. He loved this, teasing you, torturing you. You were so beautiful when you were desperate for him.
You whined and pushed your hips against his hand, and he pulled his hand away, smirking.
"You're such a tease," You growled, glaring at him.
"You're cute when you're angry," He smiled, his fingers returning to your pussy. He tapped your clit lightly, his lips ghosting over yours. You tried not to react, but it felt so good, this dominant side of him was driving you crazy.
He slid two fingers into you, and began thrusting them slowly. You gasped and arched your back, moaning loudly. Watching your reaction was thrilling, his cock was painfully hard, but he wanted to make you cum first.
"Listen to those sweet sounds," he purred, pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right. “So filthy and wet, the way your body responds, it's like you were made for me."
"You're a fucking asshole," you moaned, trying to buck your hips against his fingers.
"I can stop, if you want," He whispered, his voice dark.
"No," You whimpered, "I-I'm close."
"Oh, I know, darling." He smiled, "You're going to cum, and I'm going to make you cum again, and again, until all the stubborn thoughts in your head disappear."
His fingers were pumping fast now, and you couldn't help the noises you were making. Your orgasm was building in such a way that you knew it would be intense. He was right, you were stubborn, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan, but it was becoming more and more difficult to hold back.
"Eli- wait, your gonna make me-" You stuttered, gasping as he added a third finger, stretching you even more.
"Make a mess?" He purred, curling his fingers just right, hitting your g-spot.
The lewd, wet, squelching noises coming from your pussy were embarrassing, and the fact that he was enjoying them made it worse. He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers, your whole body trembling, you were so close.
He sped up his pace, and he could see the moment when you reached your peak. Your body tensed up, your back arching, and then a loud cry escaped your lips.
Your juices spilled out onto his fingers, covering his hand. It was so much, you had never squirted before, and the look on Elijah's face was pure lust and amusement.
It made you embarrassed and a bit angry and you tried to move away, but he kept his fingers buried deep inside you, not letting you escape.
"Don't be ashamed," He said, kissing your forehead, his fingers moving slowly, causing your legs to tremble.
"I'm not," You panted, glaring at him, trying to suppress a moan.
"Really?" He purred, his eyes locking with yours, "Then why are you blushing?"
He smirked, and you tried to hide your face in the sheets, but he wouldn't let you. He was still smirking, and you were getting angrier.
"I'm not-"
"Shh, love, you can't hide from me," he cooed, his fingers still pumping into you, stretching you out. Building up another climax.
"Eli-fuck," You gasped, the pleasure building.
"That's it, let me hear those pretty sounds," He whispered, his voice husky.
He was still fully clothed, and he hadn't even touched himself, he was only focused on you.
He kept fucking his fingers into you, his thumb circling your clit, making sure every inch of your pussy was being stimulated.
Your body was trembling, and you could feel yourself getting close again, you pushed your heels into the bed, trying to get away, but he didn't stop, he just kept going, his pace relentless.
"I can't- oh fuck-," You gasped, arching your back as the orgasm crashed over you. Your wetness soaked his hand and the bed below.
Elijah pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to his mouth and licking them clean. Then he kissed you, his tongue pushing past your lips, tasting all of you.
You tried to glare at him, but he was now kissing your neck, his free hand moving down to cup your breast, teasing your nipples.
"I'm still mad at you," You panted, trying not to moan.
"I know," He smirked, "And I'm not finished with you."
He grabbed your thighs, spreading your legs, and settled between them, his eyes roaming over your body.
"Such a pretty thing," He murmured, tracing patterns on your skin.
He took ahold of your waist, pulling you towards him, and began to grind against your wet pussy, making you whimper.
"You're so sensitive, baby," He cooed, his lips brushing over your collarbone.
You could feel his erection straining against his pants, and you could tell he was enjoying this just as much as you were. He undid his belt, pulling it out of the loops, and tossing it to the floor.
He pulled your arms above your head, his hand gripping your wrists. He unzipped his pants and took his cock out, pressing it against your entrance.
"You're already soaked for me," He whispered, kissing you deeply.
You moaned into the kiss, and he pushed his cock into you, making you whimper. He was so thick, and his length filled you completely, making your body tremble.
He began to thrust into you, his pace steady, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips grazing over your skin.
"I'm not a toy," You managed to say, your voice strained.
"No, you're not, you're mine," He growled, his hips slamming into yours, his cock hitting all the right spots.
"Fuck," You gasped, arching your back.
His grip on your wrists tightened, and he spread your legs even wider. He grinded his hips slowly, wanting to draw out your pleasure for as long as possible.
You could feel the pressure building, and it was becoming harder to concentrate, all you could focus on was his cock, his weight on top of you, the way he was looking at you.
"Say it," He growled, his hips moving faster now. "Tell me you're mine."
"I'm yours," You moaned, your voice cracking, your resolve breaking with every deep stroke.
The sound of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy filled the room, mixed with your moans and gasps, and the way the bed was creaking. He knew you were close, he could feel your muscles starting to clench around him.
"No no stubborn one, you don't get to cum yet," He growled, nipping at your ear.
He wrapped your legs around his waist, pinning you to the bed. His pace increased and he leaned in to kiss you.
"Come on darling, give in, admit I'm right," He whispered.
"Eli, please," You moaned, your fingers gripping his shirt.
"All you have to do is submit," He cooed, pressing his lips to yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to resist the urge to give in, but it was so intense and his pace was relentless. He wasn't going to stop, not until you broke.
"Look at the way you open up for me," He said, his voice husky as he grinded against you. "Your needy little pussy, milking my cock, begging to be filled."
You looked down at where his cock was buried inside of you, moving in and out of your pussy. You could see how wet you were, covering his pants and your thighs, making a mess of the sheets.
"Hmm, you like that? Seeing how wet you are, all for me," He whispered, leaning down to kiss you. "Just admit that you are stubborn, and we can cum together."
Your whole body was shaking, your orgasm so close, but you fought it, squeezing your thighs together, trying to close your legs, but he wouldn't let you.
You gave up, you didn't care about the fight anymore, you just wanted to cum, you just wanted him to stop torturing you. You couldn't think straight, everything was too much, his thrusts were deep and hard, his cock was filling you, stretching you out, he knew just how to fuck you.
You couldn't hold back anymore and you finally gave in, submitting to him. "You're right," you gasped, your voice barely audible. "Please, Eli, fuck, I'm sorry, just let me cum."
"Good girl," He groaned, leaning back and spreading your thighs wide, pounding into you. He began to stroke your clit with his thumb, drawing circles, as his hips snapped hard and fast.
It was all too much, and you felt an intense release, your body convulsing, your wetness soaking him, making a mess of the clothes he was still wearing and the bed.
He chuckled, watching your cheeks flush in embarrassment as he fucked you through it. He made you squirt all over him, submitting to him completely.
You were still trembling, trying to catch your breath, you couldn't focus, your whole body was tingling with pleasure, you felt like you were floating.
He kissed you deeply, pressing his body to yours before he let out a low groan and came inside you, his cock twitching. You shuddered, your pussy still sensitive, but he didn't stop, he continued moving his hips slowly.
You could feel the warmth of his cum filling you, his cock throbbing, his breathing uneven. He kissed you softly and slowly, his fingers brushing over your cheek, caressing your face as he pulled out of you.
Now that you had come down from your high, you felt a mixture of frustration and humiliation. You tried to move, but he held you there, a devilish grin plastered on his face.
He shifted onto his back, pulling you on top of him. You straddled him, your body on top of his, your chest pressing against his chest.
"I love you," he whispered, pulling you in for another kiss.
"Eli," you muttered, burying your face in his chest. You couldn't believe he had fucked you in that way, and now he was saying the three words you wanted to hear the most. He was so perfect and so infuriating at the same time. You were angry that he was able to make you give in so easily, but it was worth it. It had never felt so good.
"I love you too, asshole," you replied, making him laugh.
He kissed you once more before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. His hands rested on your lower back, tracing lazy circles.
"I'm sorry for being protective, it's not because I don't trust you, it's because I'm afraid of losing you," he said quietly.
"I know, and I'm sorry for saying that you're a control freak," you apologized.
"No you're not," He smirked, kissing you again.
"I'm getting there," you sighed.
He laughed, tracing the curve of your hips with his fingertips. You could feel him harden underneath you, and it turned you on again. And you slowly ground your hips against his, teasing him.
His eyes grew dark, and he placed his hands on your ass, squeezing firmly. "Darling, don't," He said warningly, his voice strained.
You ignored him, rolling your hips, grinding into his lap, you wanted more.
"Don't be so stubborn Eli-,"
You were on your back before you could finish your sentence, your legs spread, his lips on yours.
You were definitely going to fight with him more often…
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feeling veryyyy normal thinking about being offered as part of bounty to the ghoul because the bounty poster doesn’t end up having the caps they promised him. and they need to pay him somehow. they’ll offer him their lil captive vaultie as payment for the rest. 👉🏻👈🏻 will he accept?🫣
A Fair Trade
Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader
Word Count: 3,980
Warnings: smut (18+), p in v sex, oral (m receiving), creampie, sex as payment for debt, human trafficking typical of the Fallout universe.
Summary: The Ghoul always gets what's owed to him.
Notes: Oh, wow! My first submission-type ask! I'm genuinely super flattered and totally open to doing more. I initially ballparked that this would be around 2,500 words and it ended up almost 4,000 because I have no self control when it comes to this man. I will try to keep other submissions a little shorter, generally, to hopefully get them out quicker.
To the anon: This may have turned out...sweeter than you may have envisioned? Maybe that's not the word. Less rough? If so, my apologies! I hope you still enjoy.
Things had been...unfortunate for you since you had decided to leave your vault.
Looking for a taste of something new, chasing the feeling that the world had other things for you to experience, you had managed to make it to the nearest settlement of any import with only a few scrapes and bruises. But, regrettably, you lacked a true understanding of how cruel and selfish people on the surface could be, and you quickly ended up the captive of some random outpost runner.
Well, you'd been traded to the outpost runner. You still weren't quite sure how that had come about, even after weeks and weeks had passed, but, frankly, the scrawny, dirty man was a lot less scary than the guy who had initially captured you. He wasn't not scary by any means (no one up here really was, as far as you could tell); he still confiscated your things and locked you into the small room in the back that you were fairly confident was intended to be a closet every night, but he hadn't really done anything to hurt you so far. You were given a pillow, at least.
But you were growing increasingly uneasy with not knowing what his plans for you were. Worst case scenario, you guessed, he could kill and eat you like you'd heard some surface people did, but that didn't seem to be the case. Nevertheless, the way he eyeballed you, "accidentally" brushed against you with increasing frequency, made you uneasy. Maybe he'd bought you to be his wife, or whatever the Wasteland equivalent would be. You imagined that in the next few weeks he'd offer you more favorable sleeping accommodations...so long as you shared them with him.
Maybe you could accept, kill him in his sleep and flee. You really didn't treasure the idea of ending someone's life, but...you needed to get out of here, and soon.
The sound of the creaky, rusted front door hinges flexing drew your attention, distracting you from your bloody ruminations and the pile of scrap you'd been sorting through. The front office hadn't been loud, but the small murmur of voices instantly faded, a clatter of movement towards the door, followed by some very familiar sounding footfalls. He was back.
The tall, noseless, rad-ravaged man made his way in multiple times a month, sometimes even multiple times a week when the bounties were easy and the work was plentiful. You'd seen each other somewhat often the past few weeks, as your keeper had begun to allow you to clean and assist in the front of the office more and more. It was both better and worse; the days passed with less tedium and you got to see some of the interesting characters the desert produced. However, many of those characters sized you up with predatory eyes, as if they were estimating how many caps they could sell your flesh for in their heads. The ghoul had yet to give you that feeling, interestingly enough.
You'd heard whispers all over town about him, about all the things he'd apparently done, how he was supposedly hundreds of years old. You didn't believe that for a single second. After all, despite his fascinatingly gruesome appearance, he was just a man, wasn't he? A man with very advanced radiation sickness (and a rather unfriendly general disposition), but a man nonetheless.
Sometimes, you felt as if he was certainly looking at you the way a man would. You were unsure, frankly; social etiquette was so vastly different on the surface than it was at home. It sure seemed like he let his eyes linger on you, on your body. Perhaps he was simply curious about you, as you were about him; most people seemed afraid to even look his way, or too disgusted by his condition to even consider it.
"You wanna run that by me again?"
Your ears pricked up instantly at the tone in the ghoul's voice, your heckles raising as you sensed trouble. Tiptoeing towards the door to the front room, you stood as close as you dared, shoulder touching the rotting door frame as you listened in.
"I told you, we were robbed a few nights ago. I don't have the full payment for you right now. This is everything I've got."
You knew your keeper was lying, about the robbery, at least; the place was so small that if anyone had been in to steal anything, you'd have certainly known about it. Whether or not he really had the caps, you didn't know, but you supposed he didn't, figuring that he wouldn't take the risk of pissing off the ghoul if he did. You had overheard him discussing gambling on a few occasions.
"Well, you better find something to make me whole, quick." came the ghoul's acidic reply.
On some level, you understood his frustration. The work was done, the bounty delivered. Un-delivering it wouldn't make up for all the time he'd put in. But, you also knew his reputation for being unforgiving, and you felt a chill run up your spine as you began to fear that he would kill your keeper and you if he didn't find some sort of satisfaction soon.
"I don't have anything worth anything. I told you, this is all I have." the scrawny man shot back, trying to sound confident, tough.
However, based on the way his voice trembled and faltered, the uneasy way he cleared his throat, you suspected the ghoul knew he was lying, too, confirmed only a moment later by what you were certain was the sound of a gun thwish-ing out of its holster and cocking. Your heart flew up into your throat, hammering even harder when, a second later, the lighter sounds of the scrawny man's footsteps rapidly approached the door of the back office. Scrambling back towards the desk, you'd only closed about half the distance when the door flew open, the man grabbing at you almost blindly, his long, dirty nails digging into your exposed wrist as he dragged you, protesting, out behind the counter.
"Hey!" you hissed, trying your best to snatch your arm back out of his grip and failing, infuriatingly. You were momentarily blinded with outrage that he would offer your body to someone to cover his own debts, though you supposed that was just how people did things in this awful place. Your eyes, feeling like they could pop out of your head they were so wide, flew to the man on the other side of the counter, who was assessing you with a look you couldn't read.
"What about her?" the scrawny man asked, and that was the final straw. If things were going to get worse for you, you weren't just going to accept it with a smile. The fingers on your free hand curled into a fist, which you smashed into the side of his face, causing him to release your arm in shock. Almost instantly, he jerked towards you, but the Ghoul pointed the modified pistol in his hand further into his face, stopping him.
"Now, how're you gonna offer me merchandise and then try to damage it in front of me?" he said, speaking to the man, but not looking at him. He was still looking at you, an intrigued glint in his eyes. They were...pretty, actually. Warm and golden brown. Was he really thinking about taking the offer? You'd be lying if you said you weren't curious about what his body would be like underneath all the layers of clothing. However, the entire situation had your walls up high, your whole body trembling slightly.
The Ghoul stepped slowly around the counter towards you; the scrawny man shrunk away, the gun still pointed in his direction, while you held your ground, doing your best to keep your head held high as he stepped right into your bubble, your chests almost touching as he seemed to really size you up. After a moment of incredibly tense silence, his eyes moved to the door, then back to yours. Slowly, he lowered the gun.
"Alright. C'mon, Vaultie." he said simply, turning on one foot to make his way back to the other side of the counter. You hesitated, but soon moved to stand beside him, a surreal feeling washing over you.
"Hey! No fucking way, man! You can't just take her for keeps. She's worth way more caps than I owe you!"
The man was even more red-faced than usual, his tone downright indignant, but he didn't step out from behind the counter to follow.
"Ah, but, see, once we factor in the interest on my missed payment, hurt and suffering, on top of my 'you're a dumbshit' fee...I think it's a wash, personally." the Ghoul replied, leaning back over the counter into the man's dirt-speckled face. He clearly wasn't in a place of strength to negotiate, and his angry gaze moved to you again before he rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"What the fuck ever." he grunted.
You felt your body relax noticeably as the bulk of the conflict seemed to pass. However, there was a small amount of unfinished business you wanted to address before you left this place. You crossed your arms, turning your narrowed eyes to your former keeper, feeling emboldened with the Ghoul standing at your back.
"Where's my bag you took from me?"
Soon, you were back in possession of your things, including your Pip Boy, which you fretted over as you and your new keeper set out the door and into the desert heat. As you walked, you flexed the sore fingers on your hand absentmindedly. Soon, you were pouring sweat, pausing briefly to peel the top half of your vault suit down to your waist, tying the sleeves around you hips. The Ghoul appraised you silently as you did, taking a hit off of an inhaler from his pocket before continuing on.
As grateful as you were to be away from the trading outpost, away from the scrawny man and his uneasy ways, you couldn't help but worry in the back of your mind, fret at the possibility that you were going somewhere worse. It was being too trusting that got you into your situation to begin with. You worried at your lip with your teeth as he began to direct you down the road, his hand flat and firm between your shoulders. You weren't sure if the gesture was intended to be one of comfort, or if he was simply ready to snatch you up by the back of your vault suit if you decided to try to run.
The two of you walked in complete silence in the direction of the setting sun for what felt like a hundred miles. In truth, your Pip Boy revealed that you'd only gone a single mile and some change when the sun fully dipped behind the horizon, granting some blessed relief from the sweltering heat. You kept on a while longer, until the stars began to appear; eventually, the man veered from the decrepit highway, steering you to a little alcove in the rocky hillside, barely big enough to be a coyote's den.
"Alright, we'll bed down here for the night. Gettin' too dark to keep walkin'." he said, dropping his bag on the ground in a little cloud of dust as he turned to survey the site suspiciously.
You stood waiting for him to direct you, your fingers wrapped tight around the straps of your backpack, watching as he checked around wordlessly. After a few minutes, you chose one of the flatter rocks around and sat against it, watching as he built a small fire, inhaling some of the rations that had been hid away in your bag. Eventually, the ghoul threw himself down on the other side of the flames, facing the highway, and did the same, tucking into something canned from his bag. Things were quiet for a while, but eventually he spoke to you again, his voice pulling you away from fidgeting with with your Pip-Boy.
"Y'know, you're insanely lucky he didn't sell that thing. Can get quite a bit for a functional one these days. Moron didn't know what he had." he said, still chewing.
You blinked at him, your eyes flitting between the gadget on your arm and him, unsure how to respond. Briefly, you felt a growing sense of apprehension, but he must've sensed it, as he rolled his eyes and sighed softly as he swallowed.
"I'm just sayin' you're lucky you still have it, kid. Don't piss your pants. Trust me, if I wanted that thing, I'd have taken it from you already." he said, tossing the now-empty can over his shoulder.
You nodded silently, willing the tension out of your spine as you watched him dig around inside the oiled leather saddle bag once more. He produced a silver flask and a canteen, taking long pulls off of one, then the other. He then took another drag off of the inhaler he'd been puffing as you walked. Eventually, he stood, gave his back a stretch, and shrugged the long, tattered duster from his shoulders, splaying it out quickly on the ground behind him before turning back to face you.
"Alright, darlin'. Get your little ass over here."
You felt yourself freeze almost completely, your head turning sharply towards him. He hadn't said anything about the initial deal for so long that you weren't sure he was actually interested.
"What? I accepted you in lieu of payment. That means you are the payment, sweetheart. And I do intend to collect." he said, plainly amused, sinking down to the ground, his back sliding against the red rock behind him. "Besides, I've seen the way you look at me. Don't pretend you're not curious."
Your cheeks instantly felt agonizingly hot; had you been that obvious in your interest in him? Every day, something new in this place made you feel so silly, so naive. But, at the same time...he wasn't wrong. He might be rough-looking overall, but he'd been kind to you so far, and he did have quite a nice build. Besides, it had been weeks since you'd felt sufficiently alone enough to masturbate. A tad awkwardly, you went to lift yourself to walk to him when he cut you off.
"Mmm. How about you crawl?"
You felt your face twist into a mask of indignant confusion, and he chuckled. Hesitating, you made measured eye contact with him over the flames, quickly realizing, as those mischievous eyes glinted back at you, that he was serious. You swallowed hard, pulling yourself slowly onto your hands and knees before crawling the half-circle around the small fire as quickly and as dignified as possible, though there felt like there was very little dignity in it anyway. You stopped at his feet, kneeling with your hands on your thighs and looking up at him, trying your hardest to not seem as nervous as you felt.
"Take your shirt off." he ordered, head tilted as he watched you quickly pull the grimy undershirt over your head, tossing it near your bag. The night air was cool on your bare breasts, your sensitive nipples quickly peaking into hard little nubs that stung slightly. You wanted to press your warm palms to them, soothe the ache, but you didn't want him to think you were trying to cover yourself, so you simply sat, staring again, waiting for further instructions.
He grinned at you, leaning forward into your space, his gloved fingers stroking along your jaw, sliding a single one under your chin to lift your eyes fully to his. They were just as pretty glinting in the dying firelight as they had been in the outpost office.
"Y'know, you take direction pretty well, Vaultie. I like that in a lady." he said, tone low and conspiratory.
Your entire face burned now, even your eyes feeling hot, but that fire spread its way down into your core, blooming between your thighs, and you shifted slightly to press them together harder.
Reaching down, he made quick work of the belt holding up his pants and his fly, tugging free a cock that was about as red as the rest of him, the bulbous head glistening with precum already in the yellow-orange glow of the fire. Your tongue darted out to swipe at your lower lip, and you crawled up his legs to look closer. The Ghoul seemed surprised, leaning back ever so slightly from you as you came near, giving you room to move close and wrap your hand around him, drawing out a long hiss from between his yellowed teeth.
"Right on it, eh?" he chuckled almost breathlessly. "I like that in a lady, too."
You shot him a bit of a chastising look as you began to work your hand up and down over him, your free fingers coming to play along the weeping slit of him, earning another groan. He was a pretty average length for his height, you thought, but thick and already almost completely hard. It didn't seem like it would take much work to get him the rest of the way there. Your musings were interrupted by the feeling of his leather glove brushing against the swell of your breast before encaging the whole thing in his palm, massaging almost reverently. You whimpered when he plucked at your other nipple, sending shocks down your spine and straight to your already throbbing clit.
"Let's see what that pretty mouth is good for, hmm?"
Embarrassingly, you immediately dropped your head, pushing your body flat so you were sort of lying between his spread legs, bringing your lips down to hover a few inches above his leaking cock head. Tongue darting out to lap up a little taste of the shiny slickness there, you hummed; he tasted different than you were expecting, sort of the same, but with an almost metallic edge. You ran your tongue in a full circle around his tip, clenching around nothing when he groaned throatily, his right hand sliding through the dirt beside him.
"Fuck." he spat out when you unhinged your jaw, allowing the first few inches of him to fill your mouth, wrapping your lips around the head and sucking hard as your left hand continued to work the base of him. More and more precum leaked from the slit as you tongued at it, the taste and the knowledge that you were arousing to him making you rub your thighs together shamelessly.
"Play with your pussy." he commanded, clearly struggling to keep his tone even. Beneath you, you could feel his hips rocking almost imperceptibly. He didn't need to tell you twice; you could already tell you'd soaked through your underwear as you wrestled your hand down into your pants, pushing the wet gusset aside to rub tight circles around your swollen bud, moaning around his cock at the feeling.
The sound seemed to really turn him on, one of his hands suddenly moving to fist into your hair, the slight pain at the roots making you throb. His other hand came to cup your jaw again, holding you in place as he fully fucked his hips up into your waiting mouth, cussing under his breath as you continued to push yourself closer to orgasm. He kept you like that for a few long minutes, your neck cramping slightly by the time his thumb reached down, wiping away some drool that was dribbling down your chin. Bleary eyed, you looked up at him pleadingly. His answer was a wicked chuckle, his grin less of a smile and more a predator bearing his teeth.
"Blowin' a ghoul turn you on that much, cutie? What would the other vaulties think?" he tutted, shaking his head. "I think it's time you get on my cock."
Blushing hard at his little taunt, you could feel his burning gaze as you pulled yourself back up into a sitting position, tugging your boots off and setting them aside before shimmying the suit the rest of the way off, along with your underwear. A shiver broke down your spine as a small breeze hit you, your fire pretty much nothing but glowing embers now. However, when you pulled yourself back onto his lap, sighing as you ground your wet slit against his erection, you found that he was pleasantly warm feeling, bringing your hands up to his chest so you could lean over just enough to reach between you and position his cock at your entrance.
Too afraid of injuring yourself to attempt to take him all in one move, you instead opted to sink down onto the head, wriggling your hips before pulling them back up, then sinking down again, gently bouncing yourself down onto him. The man beneath you was tense, his hands kneading at your breasts as he huffed and hissed his way inside you. By the time you'd worked yourself most of the way down onto him, his hands moved to your hips, gripping them deliciously tight as you bobbed up and down on his length. For as cocky as he'd been before, he was pretty clearly struggling to keep his cool now.
One of your hands moved up from his chest, leaving you unsteadily balancing on one hand as the other pinched your nipple the same way he had before, making you cry out like a wounded animal. He must've liked that, as well, as his hands immediately yanked you the rest of the way down onto him, your ass resting flush against his hips. You repeated the sound again, higher, more strangled as he sat so deep inside you, the fat tip of him strumming away at something amazing right behind your belly button. It was too dark to make out much of anything, but you could feel the way his body twitched and bucked beneath you, strung tight as a bow.
The Ghoul's hands were digging deep into the fat of your hips, so hard you knew you'd bruise, restricting your movement, forcing you to swivel and grind your hips against him, the angle putting delicious friction on your poor aching clit and pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your body began to clench around him rhythmically, and his hand quickly appeared on your clit in the dark, rubbing surprisingly deft stripes up and down the puffy flesh until you were suddenly gasping for air, trembling hard against his chest as he fucked up into your heat roughly, sloppily, the hand that wasn't on your clit slapping you hard on the ass. Suddenly, he let out a long, low groan, and you could feel the hot throbbing of him pumping his cum inside you, his hips stuttering as you let yourself slump halfway against him. There was a sudden metallic taste in your mouth. For several long moments, there were no sounds but your co-mingled harsh breaths and sound of the wind swirling the sand across the foothills.
After you'd finally caught your breath, you made a move to extract yourself from him. He promptly stopped you, flipping you onto your back, the smell of the duster's rich leather curling in around you as he kept grinding his hips into your overstimulated cunt. It drew an embarrassing squeal from you, hands flying to his chest once more before being rather playfully batted away.
"Oh, no, sweetheart. Nice as that was, your buddy owed me quite a bit of money. I think you'll be paying me back in installments." he growled in your ear, one hand moving around to give your ass a firm squeeze as you gave another clench around him. Your mind, foggy with sex, wandered to the Radaway still stashed in your bag.
It was going to be a long night.
#cooper howard#the ghoul#cooper howard smut#cooper howard x you#cooper howard x reader#fallout tv show#fallout prime#submission
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