#or he'll compromise and have a childish fake wedding under the stars by the lake lol just the two of them the two horses and shamus probabl

[lucygraysboy]

“two  different  things?  i’d  say  two  different  attitudes  toward  love.”  broad  shoulders  inching  closer  to  his  ears,  heat  radiating  off  his  face  as  her  question  lingers  in  the  air  between  them,  unanswered  for  a  moment.  “yeah,  that’s  exactly  how  it happens  at  times…  if  the  attraction’s  strong  enough  and  mutual.”  billy’s  cheeks  flush  with  bright,  becoming  color,  crystalline  hues  refusing  to  meet  lucy  gray’s  darker  ones.  “have  you  ever  been  in  love?  or  felt  this  kind  of  attraction?  well,  i  can  only  hope  you’ll  get  to  experience  it  one  day,  with  the  right  person,  of  course.”  she’ll  understand  what  he’s  talking  about  then.  though,  the  mere  thought  of  her  with  another  man  has  him  feeling  all  weird  and  tense,  jealous  when  he  has  no  right  to  be.  “hey,  ruby  jean  and  billy  junior  aren’t  unwanted,  unplanned  but  not  unwanted,”  he  teases  but  it  doesn’t  help  in  cooling  down  his  face.  in  fact,  it  has  the  opposite  effect.  “i’m  not  that  experienced,  don’t  worry,”  he  chuckles  awkwardly,  suddenly  feeling  like  a  terribly  shy  and  embarrassed  little  boy  who’s  just  admitted  to  breaking  his  ma’s  favorite  vase,  all  because  he’s  certain  she  can  somehow,  magically,  see  his  love  affairs  written  across  his  face. 

“yeah,  that’s  very  true,”  he  agrees  but  without  much  conviction,  his  thoughts  drifting  to  the  night  he  met  alice.  he  was  all  over  the  place,  even  if  he  managed  to  keep  up  appearances  on  the  outside,  his  heart  was  racing  with  anxiety,  still  struggling  to  process  big  emotions  like  grief  and  wondering  whether  that  job  opportunity  he  had  just  landed  was  a  good  one.  she  was  so  smitten,  kept  complimenting  his  singing,  flirting  with  him,  and  it  felt  good  to  forget  about  the  world  for  that  one  night.  maybe  it  makes  him  a  horrible  person,  he  took  her  to  bed  without  even  knowing  her  name,  but  he  can’t  picture  his  life  with  alice,  not  even  as  boyfriend  and  girlfriend.  “that’s  one  way  to  make  sure  no  one  will  ever  break  your  heart  and  leave  shamus  with  unwanted  siblings.”  she  truly  is  too  pure  for  this  world,  he  thinks,  finally  picking  up  his  gaze  and  even  smiling  softly  at  her.  she’s  so  different  from  all  the  girls  he’d  met  along  the  way  here,  and  it  intrigues  him  in  so  many  ways.  “i’m  talkin’  ‘bout  the  same  thing,  lucy  gray.  i  just  think  it  went  more  or  less  like,  have  you  seen  the  horses  havin’  fun?  looks  interesting.  let’s  give  it  a  try.  and  the  babies  just  happened.”  he  shakes  his  head  and  laughs  just  because  there’s  no  way  he’s  keeping  a  straight  face  —  why  are  they  even  talking  about  this?

“thank  you,  lucy  gray  baird.”  her  name  saccharine-sweet  as  it  lingers  on  his  tongue,  it  alone  could  melt  his  heart  but  especially  when  combined  with  the  smile  that  she  offers  him  next.  he  can  feel  his  chest  expanding,  soaring,  fluttering,  genuinely  appreciating  the  kind  words  that  she  addresses  at  him.  “means  everything  to  me,  knowing  i  have  your  trust,”  he  whispers,  wishing  he  could  make  this  moment  last  forever.  her  fingertips  curling  into  his  bracelet,  hands  intertwined,  faces  rosy  and  eyes…  her  eyes  sparkle  brighter  than  any  stars.  billy  finds  himself  powerless,  unable  to  look  away,  utterly  and  completely  under  her  spell.  the  glow  of  her  olive  skin  and  these  bright,  doe-like  eyes  captivate  him  in  a  way  that  steals  his  breath  away.  his  heart  begins  to  race  again,  skipping  a  beat  every  now  and  then.  is  he…  falling  for  her?  luckily  for  him,  her  laugh  soon  fills  the  room  and  coaxes  his  own  from  somewhere  deep  within  his  chest.  “my  ma  would  be  mortified  if  she  could  see  me  now,  tryin’  to  impress  a  girl  with  jokes  about  mammoth’s  farts.”  he  stands  up  when  she  lets  go  of  his  hand  and  swiftly  recaptures  her  wrist,  a  sweet  smile  lingering  on  his  lips.  “no,  you  sit  back  down.  you’ve  done  so  much  for  me  today.  it’s  my  turn.  tell  me  more  ‘bout  that  lake.  and  what  else  is  here  to  see?”  he  gently  guides  her  back  toward  the  chair,  insisting  she  doesn’t  lift  a  finger.  it’s  his  mess  to  clean  up.  he  begins  with  gathering  the  scissors  and  tweezers  and  leftover  bandages,  putting  them  in  the  basket  and  tucking  it  away  where  it  belongs.  then  he  gathers  and  carefully  folds  the  cloth  where  blood-stained  shards  of  glass  are  lined  up,  taking  it  to  the  trash  and  the  cloth  to  the  hamper.  “if  i  add  water  to  it,”  he  points  to  the  half-empty  bottle  of  liquor,  “and  put  it  back  in  the  pantry,  will  your  father  notice?”

"well, now i think we're just talkin' about two different things. people become attracted with each other right away then the first thing on their mind... is to get naked?" brows creased in confusion, voice lifting in surprise. or is that just how it worked personally for him? "every single person..." brows lifted now, there's multiple? multiple people... people keep takin' to spend all night in their bedrooms? "hm. well, looks like maybe someone just needs to slow down before you end up with an unwanted baby or something worse." that was wild sounding... attacking each other just because you feel some attraction.

"then maybe that's why people shouldn't rush into that, too. there's nothin' wrong with bein' boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time... before deciding on marriage. if it's right or not." she decides, then her eyes bat, blinking in further confusion. "well, that's wonderful. if other people want to live crazily this way. that's up to them. but i'll keep myself safe from any unwanted children or growin' attached to someone and have them up and leave, because it wasn't serious." it's probably just different in his mind, because he's a boy. or maybe she just didn't like the idea of being vulnerable with someone she didn't trust and have a soul connection with. "no, i'm talkin' about the reason it was invented in the first place... it started with the creation to keep populating the earth. babies. but then also became the– pleasing part. or whatever."

lucy gray had an almost unbreakable wall that came in between her and not trusting other human beings.... but as she listened to him speak, so passionately, all these words obviously coming from his heart. there's no way he could be tricking her with everything he just described; how could she not trust in him more than she had? even if the part of brothels and his real father upset her, she pointed out the best parts of what he was trying to get through to her. her eyes had been trained on him since the second he lifted her chin. "that's awfully sweet of you. and... more admirable than anything. this is what i meant, how you're so different billy antrim." she points out, smiling warmly at the dark haired boy. if he meant to cause harm, it would definitely shock her after explaining how he wanted to be opposite from a monster. "alright, i'm trustin' you. i really am." she felt her heart soften with some relief, tiny fingers gently curling into his bracelet as they held palms. until his hand slipped away to touch her cheek, the kind touch... not a mean slap or abusive in any way like all the ways she only experienced touch from the opposite sex left her speechless. it was a terrible fear his palms could turn cruel like all the other males in her life, he was the first to make her feel like a baby being safely cradled. he was the first to give her a touch that didn't hurt, it felt foreign to be handled so kindly. wasn't sure how she was even holding the tears in at this point. it was laughing to save it all at his joke about a mammoth and it's gas, covering her mouth with her hand as quick as the laughter loudly bubbled over. "you can if you have the energy, but you should rest soon. i'll have to sweep." she twisted the lid back on the lotion, sliding it up on the shelf then slowly standing up, "yeah, it's a bit of a walk to it but it's all worth it."