#or even when ots more like 'wow i learned nothing from this conversation!' i still get something out of it cause i think its funny

[citrusinicake]

shaking up the likes to reblog ratio discourse by saying reblogs dont matter to me either lol

[mistwraiths]

2 stars

Apologies for the blurry picture but I couldn't seem to find a good one. The Crown of Gilded Bones is the third book in the From Blood and Ash series. I want everyone to know I'll be putting on my clown makeup after I post this review because despite rating the first two books low and having issues with them, I somehow deluded myself into thinking this one might be better! It wasn't and dare I say it I think this was the worst one by far.

I'm genuinely trying to find something good about this book ot at least something I really enjoyed. I do like that the books pick up right where the last book ends up. The first few chapters are pretty exciting. Around page 600, the last few chapters are fast paced and things are happening. Other than that, I can't really think of anything I really liked about the book.

Crown of Gilded Bones majorly suffers, like its predecessors, in the same four ways. Being too long, repetition, world information and building, and nothing important to the central story or plot happening for huge chunks of pages.

I firmly believe that all the books were half their length and the story beats were quicker coming and longer, it would be far more enjoyable. Instead you're forced to slog through inner monologues that don't add anything new, Poppy getting dressed by Casteel, showers, and other mundane parts. I thought knowing that it would be slow would help me enjoy the book but nope. The whole deciding to go to the realm of the gods literally doesn't happen until nearly the end of 500 pages in.

The worst part about the book being far too long and nothing happening is that when something does happen, it gets rehashed several times to the point where I, as a reader, am exhausted about reading about talking about it. I'm a big lover of communication. I love it when characters who are working together or are together tell each other important information and trust each other, but this is different. Once something happens, it gets talked about it detail for a handful of chapters, usually lasting longer than the actual event itself, and then is brought up again to go over, and then again. It's frustrating because I just want to move on but the story is so determined to go over everything again.

That's not the only instances of repetition. I know authors tend to reuse certain words over again. SJM and her "croon" and "toes curl" and "barked/roared". I can forgive stuff. I can look over Jennifer's constant use of dimples. The honeydew part is the most disgusting. I don't care what flavor Poppy's vagina is. There's a difference when it comes to the same thing happening with the near similar responses/situations being used over and over again as an attempt in humor but it falls flat after its been used several times. I'm talking about the "I have a question" "No one is surprised by that" parts and the Poppy being prone to violence makes Casteel horny and Poppy has to be like you're disturbing. If it showed up once or twice after the initial one, I could get over it. But it's reused every so many chapters. If it's an attempt at humor, it is a poor one.

This book is number three in a series and this book is still chock-full of world building and world information. I could possibly forgive it since I suppose at the start Jennifer didn't plan for a big fantasy series, but it's too much. There's so much information being crammed at you and it's in a very obvious way. Poppy asks and Kiernan or Casteel answers. That's pretty much the only way Poppy and the reader learns anything. At this point, I feel like I need a glossary and timeline because there is so much information.

In fact, despite nothing happening, l don't know how it still feels that there is a lot going on. There's the Solis problem. There's the Poppy should be queen problem. There's the people have concerns of Poppy being queen. There's the Unseen problem. Another Dark One problem? Poppy's lineage/past mystery. Something about waking up the Consort? And a little bit more. It's a lot.

In the second book, I liked Poppy (sort of), Casteel, and Kiernan. However, I find myself not liking any of them that much. From personality to saying similar things, they all feel very much the same character. There's not much difference in personalities or dialogue. About the only difference is that Kiernan is cool, Poppy is compassionate when it suits the narrative, and Casteel is protective. Other than that, there's not much of a difference between any of them.

Poppy is pretty much the same as always. Massively overpowered and incredibly special, doesn't know anything about her world that she lives in, and somehow despite being so special and powerful, she's kidnapped and hurt and then levels up again. We are forcefully spoon-fed how Poppy is so strong, so beautiful, so intelligent and clever. I haven't found one instance that I've been wow that was smart. Poppy's powers she inherently knows how to use perfectly the moment she gets them.

There's also almost no female interactions or female friendships with Poppy. Tawny was barely there in the first one but when she surprisingly shows up here, she's immediately rendered injured and unconscious. We're told Vonetta and Poppy are friends, but there's been almost no interactions. Vonetta gave her clothes once and then delivered a message later. Is that a basis for friendship? Vonetta eventually falls in a hole and Poppy saves her. That's about it. Ileana and Eloana are both older motherly types but also significant worrisome individuals for Poppy internally. Again, there's like one conversation each with them individually. Lyra is introduced to us by giving Kiernan a blow job but no interactions. Hisa and Nova are soldiers but no interactions. It's even mentioned that female draken are rare, but I'd argue that female characters are exceptionally rare. It's ridiculous. It's like there isn't any female that's allowed to have a moment of spotlight or competency other than Poppy. Poppy also has a moment of nastiness that's out of character when she threatens a woman who admitted to her that she had no interest in Casteel and Casteel had said the same and he wasn't interested in her, and she threatens to rip her limb from limb. It's so sudden and startlingly and leaves a terrible taste in my mouth.

As for Casteel, I no longer like him nor do I think he's a good guy. I think he's capable of good, being good, doing good but there's too many times where he's been vocal about killing anyone and burning his own kingdom down if Poppy doesn't get her own freedom of choice or what she want and what not. It's played out as the most truest love but to me, that's like a villain kind of love. If someone I loved burned down a city because I didn't get to choose what I wanted, I'd call the police. The craziest thing I had to read is people believing that Casteel would make a good king when he legitimately states that Poppy's needs comes before his own kingdom's needs. And if hers are met, the kingdom's could be met. That's not how any of that works!

He also does something incredibly reckless. I get it, he couldn't live without Poppy so he chooses to Ascend her. I can wrap my head around it. The fact of the matter is that Casteel refuses to take the blame or even entertain the consequences that could have resulted in that and how reckless it was. Poppy even refuses to allow the conversation. They are both like: I am not a vampry. Nothing bad happened so let's move on. It's astounding. Not only that but I felt it extremely odd that Poppy would have been okay with Casteel making her into a vampry, something incredibly dangerous and something she hates and would never want to be. It's just oh okay well luckily I didn't turn into one. And that's... it? It would have made good tension but no. Instead, they're just in love so much we have to listen to Casteel tell her how strong and beautiful she is every twenty pages.

I was excited to learn more about Kiernan but I still couldn't tell you much about him. Best friends with Casteel, a wolven, and he's always like "no one is surprised by Poppy having question". That's about all I know of him. Those are all things I knew about him in the second book.

Some other things I had issues with is that the villains are eager to spill everything about their plans. I feel like I'm watching a cartoon show with their villain monologues going on and on. Everyone except for Poppy is knowledgeable about everything!! People are constantly apologizing for things they have no control of. Characters somehow know exactly what to say to Poppy all the time like mind reading. I'm annoyed that the gods realm and the draken were such short parts.

When the reveals and the action which took 600 pages to get to happened, I really couldn't find myself caring. Reading felt like a chore. I'm not worried about any of the characters. I don't know if I'm interested anymore in reading this series because it feels like work trying to read it. I'm here for enjoyment and I'm not having a good time.

[rurulaura]

Chosen Children ZOdiac

Here is my own headcanons about the Chosen Children and the Zodiac signs they are. I know most people like to put one zodiac sign per kid. But I just couldn’t do that. 

Taichi - Aries - 

Strengths: Courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate

Weaknesses: Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive

Aries likes: Comfortable clothes, taking on leadership roles, physical challenges, individual sports

“ Aries rules the head and leads with the head, often literally walking head first, leaning forwards for speed and focus. Its representatives are naturally brave and rarely afraid of trial and risk. They possess youthful strength and energy, regardless of their age and quickly perform any given tasks. “

Taichi was shown  a lot in Adventuer to be reckless and go head first into things without a second thought. Like when Sora is kidnapped by Nanomon, only then does that start his journey to think things through. But he still has the determination to finish things. Like in the latest movie, Symbiosis, he came to the decision to save Meicoomon, eveen if that meant killing her. Because he  trusted Meiko’s word. Despite protest from Yamato, he was driven to accomplish that. 

Yamato - Scorpio 

Strengths: Resourceful, brave, passionate, stubborn, a true friend

Weaknesses: Distrusting, jealous, secretive, violent

Scorpio likes: Truth, facts, being right, longtime friends, teasing, a grand passion

Scorpio dislikes: Dishonesty, revealing secrets, passive people

“ Scorpio-born are passionate and assertive people. They are determined and decisive, and will research until they find out the truth. Scorpio is a great leader, always aware of the situation and also features prominently in resourcefulness. “

Taichi and Yamato commonly butt heads because they are so passionate in their beliefs. Yamato always tried to be rational and more realistic, while Taichi thought more emotionally what was best for everyone. 

Yamato was shown to get so jealous of Taichi that it caused a rift between the team later in Adventure. Yet, it was what brought them together.  Yamato still looks to take care of everyone when Taichi ‘dies’ in the end of Symbiosis. He is very much leader #2 in the group. 

Sora - Cancer

Strengths: Tenacious, highly imaginative, loyal, emotional, sympathetic, persuasive

Weaknesses: Moody, pessimistic, suspicious, manipulative, insecure

Cancer likes: Art, home-based hobbies, relaxing near or in water, helping loved ones, a good meal with friends

Cancer dislikes: Strangers, any criticism of Mom, revealing of personal life” As children, they don't have enough coping and defensive mechanisms for the outer world, and have to be approached with care and understanding, for that is what they give in return. 

“ As children, they don't have enough coping and defensive mechanisms for the outer world, and have to be approached with care and understanding, for that is what they give in return. “

Sora is a hard person to read. She keeps all of her feelings to herself and it eventually consumes her, via the dark cave. As she grew to understand her Mom and Piyomon, she was able to help others in return. Even in tri. she is seen helping others get through their hard moments (Meiko and Mimi) and making sure everyone is happy, making food for everyone in the Digital world. Also calling everyone in Confession to make sure everyone is taking care of themselves. 

Mimi - Aquarius 

Strengths: Progressive, original, independent, humanitarian

Weaknesses: Runs from emotional expression, temperamental, uncompromising, aloof

Aquarius likes: Fun with friends, helping others, fighting for causes, intellectual conversation, a good listener

Aquarius dislikes: Limitations, broken promises, being lonely, dull or boring situations, people who disagree with them

“ The biggest problem for Aquarius-born is the feeling that they are limited or constrained. Because of the desire for freedom and equality for all, they will always strive to ensure freedom of speech and movement. Aquarius-born have a reputation for being cold and insensitive persons, but this is just their defence mechanism against premature intimacy. They need to learn to trust others and express their emotions in a healthy way. “

In Adventure, Mimi hated having to fight, watching comrades die one after another. She even needed to leave the group to clear her head. But in the end she found her will to fight and even brought an army with her to help fight the Dark Masters. 

In tri. she is much more carefree and expressive. But it comes off as selfish because she’s not taking everyone’s thoughts into consideration. Feeling like she was being constrained bothered her to the point she wasn’t motivated to do the cafe anymore and didn't want to  trust her instincts to fight to get Meicoomon back. 

After realizing it’s ok to be a little loud, she continues to wow the group with her food creations. and wild bikini  party ideas

Koushirou - Virgo 

Strengths: Loyal, analytical, kind, hardworking, practical

Weaknesses: Shyness, worry, overly critical of self and others, all work and no play

Virgo likes: Animals, healthy food, books, nature, cleanliness

Virgo dislikes: Rudeness, asking for help, taking center stage

“ Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance, and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid, true, or even relevant when opposed to reason. The symbolism behind the name speaks well of their nature, born with a feeling they are experiencing everything for the first time. “

Koushirou has always been lost in his own thoughts, continuing to ramble on even if no one was listening. He takes pride in being able to find the answer to any solution. But loses face when he couldn’t find one. 

He is also very loyal to his friends, even putting himself below them. He calls everyone with “-san” even if they are younger than him. He has grown out of this and learn to even see people’s emotions and react to them more. But in tri., it was evident he struggled with giving himself some credit. 

Jou - Taurus 

Strengths: Reliable, patient, practical, devoted, responsible, stable

Weaknesses: Stubborn, possessive, uncompromising

Taurus likes: Gardening, cooking, music, romance, high quality clothes, working with hands

“ Practical and well-grounded, Taurus is the sign that harvests the fruits of labor. They feel the need to always be surrounded by love and beauty, turned to the material world, hedonism, and physical pleasures. People born with their Sun in Taurus are sensual and tactile, considering touch and taste the most important of all senses. Stable and conservative, this is one of the most reliable signs of the zodiac, ready to endure and stick to their choices until they reach the point of personal satisfaction. “

Good ol’ Reliable Jou. He is the papa to the group like Sora is the Mama. Taking people’s health and safety into consideration, and even more so when he’s the oldest and must take responsibility. 

In tri. especially, he struggled to not see things from a realistic stance. Why couldn’t the other Chosen take care of the Digimon? Why did it have to be them again, when it was time ot be an adult? Jou learned to not be so strict with materialistic views. 

Takeru - Strengths: Generous, idealistic, great sense of humor

Weaknesses: Promises more than can deliver, very impatient, will say anything no matter how undiplomatic

Sagittarius likes: Freedom, travel, philosophy, being outdoors

Sagittarius dislikes: Clingy people, being constrained, off-the-wall theories, details

“Sagittarius is extrovert, optimistic and enthusiastic, and likes changes. Sagittarius-born are able to transform their thoughts into concrete actions and they will do anything to achieve their goals.Like the other fire signs, Sagittarius needs to be constantly in touch with the world to experience as much as possible. The ruling planet of Sagittarius is Jupiter, the largest planet of the zodiac. Their enthusiasm has no bounds, and therefore people born under the Sagittarius sign possess a great sense of humor and an intense curiosity.“

Takeru may be young in Adventure, but it didn’t stop him from being maniplutive and playful when he had to. To get away from Puppetmon, it was a great show of his quick thinking and playful behavior. Then in 02 he disliked Daisuke’s ideas that they couldn’t possibly hurt MetalGreymon. Takeru understood there was no other way.

In tri. his sense of humor and teasing is showcased. He always says inappropriate things at inappropriate times. It’s to change the subject, but let’s be honest, he’s a little shit. Even so, he is still to help and give a hand. Still trying to protect Hikari all these years. 

Hikari - Pisces 

Strengths: Compassionate, artistic, intuitive, gentle, wise, musical

Weaknesses: Fearful, overly trusting, sad, desire to escape reality, can be a victim or a martyr

Pisces likes: Being alone, sleeping, music, romance, visual media, swimming, spiritual themes

Pisces dislikes: Know-it-all, being criticized, the past coming back to haunt, cruelty of any kind

“Pisces are very friendly, so they often find themselves in a company of very different people. Pisces are selfless, they are always willing to help others, without hoping to get anything back.”

Hikari has always been the one to harbor bad feelings onto herself. Even when it’s not her fault, HIkari always blames herself. Something that Taichi knows of and destroys him knowing he almost killer her once. 

Her soft and altruistic is what causes her to be so vulnerable, so much so that it’s taken advantage of in tri. to create a monster and target the real world. Her vulnerability in 02 led her to the Dark Ocean, and her anguish escalated in seeing her brother die, creating a fusion to destroy the real world. 

Daisuke - Leo 

Strengths: Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous

Weaknesses: Arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible

Leo likes: Theater, taking holidays, being admired, expensive things, bright colors, fun with friends

Leo dislikes: Being ignored, facing difficult reality, not being treated like a king or queen

“People born under the sign of Leo are natural born leaders. They are dramatic, creative, self-confident, dominant and extremely difficult to resist, able to achieve anything they want to in any area of life they commit to. There is a specific strength to a Leo and their "king of the jungle" status. Leo often has many friends for they are generous and loyal. Self-confident and attractive, this is a Sun sign capable of uniting different groups of people and leading them as one towards a shared cause, and their healthy sense of humor makes collaboration with other people even easier. “

Daisuke strives for Hikari’s heart and Taichi’s admiration. When the group gets beat down, it’s him that picks the pieces up and comes back stronger than before. He knows how to cheer his friends up and cheer them on. He does have his down times, losing face when people ignore him  and laugh at him. But it doesn’t take long her him to make a come back. 

He learned to be patient with Ken, that trying to force him into the group wouldn’t work. That Ken needed time. There were times that he refused to listen to anyone else, that his way was the only way. His stubbornness has been good and bad. He almost got Vmon killed because he didn’t want to fight an infected MetalGreymon, but on the flip side. He refused to back down against BelialVamdemon, which led to victory in the end.   

Miyako - Gemini

Strengths: Gentle, affectionate, curious, adaptable, ability to learn quickly and exchange ideas

Weaknesses: Nervous, inconsistent, indecisive

Gemini likes: Music, books, magazines, chats with nearly anyone, short trips around the town

Gemini dislikes: Being alone, being confined, repetition and routine\

“ Expressive and quick-witted, Gemini represents two different personalities in one and you will never be sure which one you will face. They are sociable, communicative and ready for fun, with a tendency to suddenly get serious, thoughtful and restless. They are fascinated with the world itself, extremely curious, with a constant feeling that there is not enough time to experience everything they want to see. “

Miyako quick witted mind has saved the kids in several situations. The Big House Episode with Arukenimon is a great demonstration of that. She was able to use a big computer to switch the audio around to make the Digimon go back to normal. 

But she has had her moments where she got a head of herself and almost got herself killed. She had to learn to slow down a little and think things through. She wasn’t sure how to feel about Ken after he turned good. Or even to beat him when they found out Ken was the Kaiser in the first place. ]

Iori - Capricorn

Strengths: Responsible, disciplined, self-control, good managers

Weaknesses: Know-it-all, unforgiving, condescending, expecting the worst

Capricorn likes: Family, tradition, music, understated status, quality craftsmanship

Capricorn dislikes: Almost everything at some point

“ Capricorn is a sign that represents time and responsibility, and its representatives are traditional and often very serious by nature. These individuals possess an inner state of independence that enables significant progress both in their personal and professional lives. They are masters of self-control and have the ability to lead the way, make solid and realistic plans, and manage many people who work for them at any time. They will learn from their mistakes and get to the top based solely on their experience and expertise. “

Iori was always the serious one even at such a young age. Determined to follow every word that his late Dad taught him and follow his lead. He saw the world as black and white. All good was good and all evil was evil. 

But he grew to learn there was a difference. That even though Ken once did so many awful things, he could still be a good person. Or that his dad was friends with Oikawa who was now doing terrible things. It showed him there was a lot of grey in that world of black and white. 

Ken - Scorpio 

Strengths – Although it can sometimes be hard even for Scorpios to accept this fact, their greatest strength is their sensitivity. While many Scorpios hide from their own emotions, not knowing what to do with their intensity and depth, when they find a way to regenerate and forgive those that hurt them, they become amazing healers, psychologists, partners and friends.

Weaknesses – Once they do get hurt, this pain goes too deep and they have the urge to turn to vengeance, often becoming filled with hate and anger. These emotions can get destructive, to others and themselves, and their true challenge is to accept them as normal and usual, in order to set free and turn to the future instead of staying buried in the past.

Ken was faced with hatred of his brother when people constantly praised Osamu, but never recognized his accomplishments. He soon grew vengeful and wished for his brother to disappear, when it actually happened it affected him greatly, to the point the dark spore and influence from Oikwawa made him into a different person. 

After Ken comes to his senses, he is greeted with such grief that he even wants to end his life at one point. The whole second half of the series is him learning to forgive himself and not let his past ruin him. 

Meiko - Virgo

Strengths – Virgo is considered the most intelligent sign in the zodiac, as the place where Mercury is exalted. They are in fact truly practical and smart when it comes to everyday issues. Analytical and deep, their greatest strength is their mind at they should use it to resolve matters of life that obviously present to them for a reason. Clean and thorough, a Virgo will make everything that was broken, tainted or spoiled, clean, fixed and working again. This is why they are often found as healers, for some Virgos have a talent to fix broken hearts, souls, egos or bodies.

Weaknesses – the greatest weakness of any Virgo hides in their emotional world. While they rely on their mind to give them all the answers they seek, lack of understanding can lead them to hurtful, irrational experiences that they simply don’t understand. They need to accept their fragility, sensitivity and approach matters of the heart as valid, important and sensible. The other weakness these individuals have to face is lack of awareness of their self-worth, shown through their need to always think less of themselves, as if they cannot do anything that is satisfying enough.

For years Meiko had been hiding shame and resentment of herself under a veil of shyness. She thought she could control Meicoomon, as long she was there, Meicoomon wouldn’t go berserk. 

When she realized Meicoomon was the source of the infection that caused her friends so much suffering, she kept blaming herself, even running away. She felt she had no right to be around the DIgimon or her friends. 

Even with the reassurance of the others, it was hard to have faith in herself and to think good things about herself. To see what was good in her. 

Meiko has shown to use what she learned from everyone else to help in her goals. Reiterating SOra’s words back to her, and having to come to the conclusion that ultimately, her partner would have to die in order to save both worlds. Despite the harshness of the decision, Meiko still very much loves Meicoomon 

Daigo - Sagittarius

Strengths – Sagittarius is an adventurer, both physically and mentally. People born in this Sun sign have a broad mind and they are able to change perspective with ease, until they find the right version of words spoken, events or reasons for anything they want to examine. Highly adjustable and with a deep understanding for different people, nations, countries, governments and in general – ways of life, they blend in perfectly with the natives, wherever they are. They need enough space, don’t want to be contained in their home, by their partner or in any other way. Movement will fill up their batteries, energize them and make them confident and strong. Independent, optimistic and sincere, this is a friend you want in your life, especially if you need someone to help you find hope or a purpose to anything that troubles you.

Weakness – The greatest weakness of Sagittarius is their inability to find focus. With such a broad vision, it is not easy to pay too much attention to details, be practical and narrow down their sentences to be understandable and unambiguous. As a consequence of their faith in the goodness of human kind, these individuals will often end up disappointed or challenged, and their faith has to be built up from a point of deep understanding, or they have a tendency to turn into inflexible, grumpy people who had high hopes, once.

Daigo is very laid back and cares deeply for the people around him. So deeply he doesn’t see the big picture and how destructive Maki’s suffering actually was. He tried to be the hope she desperately needed, but couldn’t help her. 

As his time as a Chosen Child, he was the leader of the group, and probably was their hope in many desperate situations.  

He teaches Calligraphy as his part time job and helps Taichi to find a good career path for him to take. 

Maki - Capricorn

Strengths – The greatest strengths of a Capricorn are his ambition, discipline and patience. With their ability to plan ahead and think of all necessary steps in their chase for a certain goal, they are often successful in their career path. Reliable and dedicated, these individuals often have trouble opening up to other people, but become trustworthy and stable in a relationship once they decide to be a part of it. With their endurance and patience, there is hardly anything that seems impossible.

Weaknesses – While they set extremely high goals for themselves, they often do so without the proper basis in their hearts. If they separate from their emotional needs and stay focused mainly on the image they will show to the rest of the world, they easily become unsatisfied, grumpy, and even angry at their circumstances, however successful they might get. The lack of compassion that comes as a product of their own, personal lack of satisfaction, leads to them becoming cold, distant and detached from others, while selfishly pursuing their goals with no regard to other people along the way. Their direction needs to be founded in their true personality, creativity and their hearts, in order for the rest of their life to have true quality.

Maki had plans of a reboot since University years and saw an opportunity to turn her plan into action with Meicoomon and eventually “Gennai’s” help. She carefully thought of the plans and actions in hand in order for the plan to work. 

But one thing she didn’t foresee was what the reboot could mean other than reviving perma dead Digimon.  Bakumon not remembering her then running away caused her to snap.  The circumstances caused her to have an emotional break and end up in the Dark Ocean, begging for Bakumon to come back to her. 

[lesbianyennefer]

ok ive finished andromeda and so im gunna collate my final gathered thoughts below:

All in all its been a good game but for the first time in my life in not just a mass effect but a bioware game i dont LOVE it i cant even say i think its very good - ive even been edging on outright disinterest and boredom at various points throughout. bioware games for all their faults have always made me get fully into their stories get completely immersed in the world and in mass effects case in their characters too. but andromeda is the first time ever that i find myself saying if someone asked me how good it was i would say meh. if someone asked me how the latest installment in my favourite thing to exist on this planet was i would say meh. as someone who for whom the original trilogy is genuinely my favourite thing in existence there arent words for how much it upsets me. im not even like ‘i wanna play again!!!’ like i usually am because im usually still so immersed in the world. here are some thoughts and delving deeper into the things that stood out to me:

- the writing: its poor. there have been a few funny moments and lines and most of the main quest dialogue lines are good but compared to what we are used to from mass efefct it PALES. only one moment of real enjoyment stands out to me in the entire game and that was the movie night one - of the only moments in the game I got happy about like the original trilogy. the writing for dialogue not just with npcs but with companions is often clunky, nonsensical, boring and adds nothing to furthering knowledge/relationships. i honestly couldnt tell you a lot about many of them because the conversations didnt pertain to actually getting to know them. it says in the codex that they all consider me close friends but its never been mentioned that they even considered me one nor can i recall when the friendship actually got going or how we reached the ‘close’ part. similarily a lot of criticism from critics was about the base elements being rehashed from the original and its true. so much has just been copy pasted from the ot in a way that actually makes this version less interesting. the big ‘reveals’ in the story are also so badly done that when jaal mentioned the angara were made by the jaardun is it? i didnt have a wow moment like mass effect has given me in the past i was so confused by everything going on i was just like what? nobody seemed to make a big deal out if either considering an entire race just found out they were genetically engineered. the only real ‘wow’ moment i had in the game was finding out ellen ryder was still alive and jien garson was murdered and even then you cant tell anyone and its pretty much forgotten!! ryder knows that jien was murdered by possibly this benefactor who seems to have ulterior motives for all of them and she also knows the reapers invaded and as far as shes aware eradicated the entire milky way. maybe thats something that should be shared with leadership hmm? (as much as i hate tann)  

- the plot: touching on the last the plot was, to me, nothing to write home about. ive always enjoyed that mass effect has a linear storyline that you get stuck into and follow through at a good pace. now i know they said andromeda was going to be more exploration based game - which i would normally like! - but not when the exploration has almost nothing to do with the main story and is so fucking much that you could play for 3 days 12 hours a day and not get to the next bit of the main storyline!! when you space it out too much the audience - or i - loses all connection with the sporadic main plot and what we are actually supposed to be doing so much so that by the time you go to play the next segment you dont even really know why youre there or whats going on. similarly the plot never made me go :O which the ot did a lot. an example ive mentioned before is that seeing the citadel always makes me go ahhh!!! the nexus by comparison is pretty boring. despite its flaws i love the storyline surrounding the reapers and it always gets me each time i play. sitting her writing this if you asked me to detail the main plot of andromeda i honestly couldnt. i cant remember what i did or in which order. theres no substance or linearity.  

- the exploration: i again cant believe im saying this but swtor a mmo game from 2011 has more interesting open worlds with more MANAGEABLE and relevant side quests than andromeda. they might be beautiful but none of the worlds stood out to me - though i loved elaaden and the downed remenant ship star wars reference. i dont mind doing a few bland side quests but when there in the 50s and they lead you on goose chases across entire planets i begin to get agitated. i cant recall the amount of times i had to go back to planets like kadara for one 5 minute firefight and a couple of lines of dialogue. going through the galaxy map animations, the landing animations, the lift down to the slums then crossing the threshold to actually reach the map to THEN find your destination? yeah im pretty done by then.    

- side quests: tying into the above side quests! bioware hinted theyd learned a lesson from dai and taken inspiration from the witcher 3 for their approach to side quests and they appear to have done neither. there are MORE side quests than there were in dai and i actually didnt mind dais but andromedas have become an issue for me - probably because there were so godamn many. they dont have any baring on the story and they are bland and uninteresting mostly fetch quests. i hate bringing the witcher into this because i dont like giving praise to cd projekt red but the truth is bioware could stand to ACTUALLY learn from the witcher 3. the side quests in that are small in number, long in plot and actually connected to the main story. they dont make you feel like youre straying from the plot, their content is deep and very good and they quite often have major consequences. see triss’ quests in novigrad.  one thing i will say is they did seem to take a little of the last into andromeda. some choices have consequences ie saving the salarians over the krogan. that was pretty cool but still underdeveloped. 

- the relationships: by the end of the story i  can say I love all my squadmates despite the fact that i feel like i barely got the chance to know them (the only one il say i dont know at all well enough to love em is gil who has no content aside from the incredibly uncomfortable jill storyline and i wonder why hes the negelected one hmm?). i loved how they moved around and talked to each other but the amount of times i went round to see them and they had nothing to say was a LOT compared to the fact that in me3 everytime you went to see someone they had something (or multiple somethings) to say often without having to enter into a cutscene style animation just to see if they actually want to talk. in terms of romantic relationships ( i romanced peebee) i was disappointed by how little your romanced companion interjects on the story. at least in peebees case there was very little content and she seemed hardly bothered when my ryder got injected then killed herself and then died AGAIN to save them aside from a little snarky “hands off” comment when the archon grabbed her face. she mentioned a little bit back on the ship but compared to me3 and how liara/garrus/ash/kaidan would interject a lot on mission and have hints to their romance sprinkled throughout it felt like another forgotten thing. not one person on the ship mentioned me and peebee aside from a quick thing from sam when i went to see him in my cabin. also jazzed up sex scenes dont mean anything if the rest of the relationship is bland and overlooked. i prefer liara and sheps me3 scene 10x over peebees (my little gay heart still cries). 

- the music: WHERE WAS THE MUSIC??!?! one of my favourite things about games FULLSTOP and the cherry on top of mass effect has always been the music. to this day i love the atmosphere that noveria creates and vigil makes me fucking cry. the suicide mission gets me pumped and leaving earth leaves a gaping hole in my chest. (diverting a bit even dai had fantastic music. in hushed whispers, the lost temple and thedas love theme are among my faves.) aside from the heleus galaxy map music and the ambient from that one destroyed planet i cant recall a single piece of music that stood out. i can remember about 3 tunes overall the map, the main menu and the one that plays a lot when you fight kett. there wasnt even any proper ambient music for the worlds!!!!! there arent words for how upset i am that theres no fucking mission themed bangers. im just really sad about this.       

i think at the end of the day a big reason for me why i havent loved it is because as ive said before it doesnt feel like mass effect to me. to a pretty great extent i think the reason for this is the decision to move to the Andromeda galaxy. the absence of shep and the crew and the normandy is another huge factor but rather unavoidable in terms of continuing the games, but moving to andromeda has robbed the series of everything that made it mass effect. the mass relays, the citadel, the council, the alliance, earth, thessia, palaven they all made mass effect mass effect. Not to mention the quarians (one of my fave races ever), the drell, the volus, hanar, batarians, vorcha they were all a part of what mass effect IS. even the architectural style of the colonies, the nexus its all different and it doesnt have any connection to the ot and the world it created. andromeda feels like its own game completely unrelated to mass effect and one that when considered on its own has an incredibly shaky foundation and sporadic storytelling. at the end of the day it was fun to pass the time but as a huge mass effect fan i feel it was incredibly disappointing and to be quite honest i dont consider it a part of the mass effect i love.   

[tialovestelevision]

Superstar

From wrestling to fame, but oddly the fame story is a Buffy story instead of an Angel story, which means, I hope, less grit and more silly, since the basic strengths of the two shows are that Buffy does silly better and Angel does grit better. We’ll find out, I guess. 1. Apparently we get to deal with the emotional fallout of Riley not recognizing Faith wasn’t Buffy when Tara did. Also, Adam. And Jonathan, who we last saw bringing a high-powered, scoped rifle to school to shoot himself. This sounds like a blast! 2. Buffy, Xander, Willow, and Anya are fighting vampires. They killed one, but then found four eating somebody. So they need to get help. 3. Now they’re at a mansion. The help they went to get is Jonathan. Who gets dime-store Bond music. 4. You know… if they’re going to insert Jonathan into the opening credits like he’s an essential part of the show - which absolutely makes sense given what appears to be the episode premise - they also have to credit his actor in the opening credits. It doesn’t work otherwise. 5. Anya, Buffy, Willow, Jonathan, and Xander are at Giles’s house, getting weapns and drinking milk. Jonathan is training Buffy, and out-sparring her. Jonathan is better at everything than the best cast member at that thing is, so they all kind of act as decoys and backup for him. 6. Wow, he’s patronizing Buffy and she’s taking it and this is uncomfortable. But Buffy also seems aware that this wasn’t as good as she usually is. Slayer magic resistance? 7. Jonathan just caught Spike creeping around. “Wonder Jonathan and his Fluffy Battle Kittens.” Buffy’s one-liners are terrible. Whatever has changed reality hasn’t raised Jonathan up; it’s pulled everyone else down enough to make a barely-better Jonathan suddenly the best. 8. God, Jonathan’s one-liner is also bad. Better than Buffy’s, but bad. 9. … Willow and Tara have a Jonathan shrine and holy FUCK this is creepy. 10. Riley has a Jonathan poster in his room. And… is that a framed picture of Jonathan, too? He’s no Jonathan. Riley isn’t eating Initiative food, and they haven’t been able to track Adam. Buffy doesn’t want to sit near Riley. And she can’t sink baskets. She wants Slaying to be a competitve sport, so they can have figure staking. She left. 11. Buffy is talking to Jonathan about how terribly Faith messed everything up. She also put sugar in Jonathan’s coffee for him, and Jonathan is signing autographs mid-conversation. He’s creepy, but he’s not wrong about what’s upsetting Buffy. Buffy’s not right, though, that Riley couldn’t have known. Tara knew. When Giles was transformed, Buffy knew. Jonathan has a shoe brand. 12. Colonel George Haviland is here, and has taken over the Initiative. They’re having a facility review and also chasing Adam, and have called Jonathan in as a tactical consultant. He’s way shorter than the Initiative guys. Adam doesn’t eat, and is powered by by a small nuclear reactor. He doesn’t need his head and has to be annihilated. 13. A woman is watching Jonathan’s house, but now she’s being attacked by a fuzzy naked demon that’s very gross and ot actually that fuzzy much more mangy. 14. Now Jonathan is giving Riley advice. And shooting apples off soldiers’ heads blindfolded. 15. Now there’s a swing band playing at the Bronze. Anya was calling out to Jonathan when she and Xander were having sex. Buffy thinks Anya can beat Xander in a fight. I’m with her. Now Jonathan is going to sing for Riley and Buffy. He’s… not bad. Not great, but not bad. Buffy and Riley are going to dance, apparently. Jonathan has repaired Buffy and Riley’s relationship. And now he’s playing jazz trumpet from his new album. Xander and Anya are going to have sex. Pretty sure they’ll both be moaning Jonathan’s name. 16. The girl from outside Jonathan’s house is there. Jonathan took her to his manion. Buffy’s there too. Karen’s going to tell them about the demon. It had a mark on its forehead. Riley gave Karen paper to draw it. She gave it to Jonathan, who looks momentarily horrified. He is also hiding the picture of the symbol, and is dismissing the idea of hunting the demon, which he called a monster or an animal. Buffy is suspicious. 17. Adam is at the computer lab. He’s never heard of Jonathan, and says that the pictures on the TV are lies and the world has been changed. Adam knows every molocule of himself. That’s the most interesting thing about him so far, actually. Adam says that the magic that changed the world is unstable and corrosive and will lead to chaos, and he’s interested in chaos. 18. Jonathan has a pair of attractive blonde women asking him to come to bed. But he’s too busy looking pensively at the fire instead. He has a brand of the symbol from the demon’s head branded on his back. 19. Jonathan got the Class Protector award at the Prom. Buffy and Willow and Tara were walking and talking, and Tara went home, so now Buffy’s talking with Willow. Tara’s in her dorm, and hears growling. Doors slamming. The demon is there, attacking her with its claws. She got out of its grip and is is casting a spell, but she’s wounded. She conjured fog to slow it down, and locked herself in a supply closet. Now Buffy’s at Tara’s place, and Tara’s terrified. She was in the closet all night. Describing the demon to Buffy, who recognizes it as the creature that attacked Karen. She apparently saw the symbol, and is showing it to Tara. Willow is disbelieving because Jonathan said they were safe. Does that imply Willow has less magic resistance than Buffy? 20. Buffy is at Xander’s basement to look at his collection of Jonathan stuff. Anya is reading Jonathan’s book. Buffy asks if it’s weird that Jonathan is so good at everything. Anya is trying to make Buffy feel better. Apparently, Anya once granted a wish to make a man fall in love with Bill McKinley, who I’ve been using as my example of what I expect from Presidents for a while now. Anya is describing the kinds of alternate realities magic could make, like a world without shrimp or a world with nothing but shrimp or a freaky world where Jonathan is some kind of not-perfect mouth-breather. 21. Jonathan apparently crushed the bones of the Master, blew up the Mayor, and coached the Women’s US World Cup Soccer Team. And starred in the Matrix. And graduated med school. Riley is backing Buffy up. Buffy doesn’t know what to do. Giles has a Jonathan swimsuit calendar but doesn’t want to admit it. Buffy found the mark on Jonathan’s back in the calendar, but Jonathan just arrived at the house. Whenever Jonathan fights the monster, he gets confused. But he put the mark on his back to remind himself not to underestimate the creature. Buffy basically compelled him to join her in a hunt for the monster or lose face. 22. They ran into Spike, who’s being creepy. Spike wouldn’t give info to Jonathan, but Buffy threatened to cut his supply off, so Spike’s telling them where the monster is. 23. Riley is learning about magic. Maintaining spells takes concentration, but casting them doesn’t always - Xander set his book on fire. He shouldn’t speak Latin in front of the books. Willow found the mark, though… an augmentation spell that turns the caster into some sort of paragon. It also creates a monster to balance the good the sorcerer can do once the spell’s been cast. Xander: “So he did a spell to make us think he was cool?” Giles: “Yes.” Xander: “That is so cool.” 24. Huh. There’s a notable value to this episode - it gives us a decent relative measure of the various characters’ resistance to magic. Adam has the most, followed by Buffy, then Willow and Tara. After them comes Giles and Anya and, I think, Riley, followed at the end by Xander. I wonder if that’ll shift as the show goes on? 25. Anya is worried Jonathan’s going to betray Buffy. 26. They found the monster, and it knocked Jonathan out. Willow and Anya are surprised Buffy is right. Buffy is fighting the monster, then Jonathan gets a stalactite. He knows what the monster does, but is helping Buffy fight it anyway. Apparently, if she hurts the monster, the world will start to shift, restoring her power and knowledge while stripping his. Buffy is remembering how her fighting of evil actually works as she fights the monster. It almost tossed her into the hole, but Jonathan tackled it into the hole and Buffy caught him. Now the spell is broken. 27. They’re talking about it, so they do all remember. Nobody can remember who starred in The Matrix now. Buffy saw Jonathan and went to talk to him. They had an interesting little talk, and now Buffy and Riley are kissing. Looks like episode end. Overall: Wow, do I have mixed feelings about that episode. The episode was the show taking the easy way out of a bunch of heavy emotional stuff for Buffy and Riley, and less so but still significantly among the rest of Buffy’s circle of friends. I don’t actually mind that - television is meant to be entertaining, and frankly the long, rough soul-searching that would have eaten the rest of the season to deal with the fallout of the Faith two-parter wouldn’t have been fun at all to watch. It wouldn’t have even been enjoyable melodrama - it just would have involved watching people we love sticking knives of various sizes into their own and each other’s hearts for like three episodes and nothing really being resolved when it all stopped. So this wrapped that up as nicely as it could have been, allowing the show to move on from a necessary and very good story without getting bogged down in the things that story would have done to people. On the other hand… good God was Jonathanworld creepy. It reduced the overt misogyny the story would be burdened with by having Jonathan reduce the stature of Giles and Riley and Spike nearly as much as he did Buffy’s, but having one of the very few woman-led action shows on TV get taken over by a mediocre white guy even for one episode was still a bit of a gut punch. The cast does a lot of rescuing of the premise here, with Nick Brendon and Emma Caufield bringing enormous humor to every scene they were in and Anthony Stewart Head being utterly delightful in his reaction to the question of if he had a Jonathan swimsuit calendar. I… think this one goes in the list of Good Buffy Episodes rather than Bad Buffy Episodes? But it teetered on the brink of disaster basically the whole way through.

[intellectualth0t]

something I probably haven’t talked about too often

I must have been around 7 or 8 years old when people, adults in particular, started pointing out my voice a lot.

Most of what I got was along the lines of “Wow, you have a very mature-sounding voice for your age!”

The way they’d tell me this was spoken with a positive tone, as if I had just accomplished something worthy of a gold sticker. That, along with uplifting terms like “mature” and “for your age” made young-me feel as if I had surpassed what most people expected out of seven-year olds. I had begun to perceive compliments on the sound of my voice as compliments on me as a person. They think I sound mature, so they must think I AM mature. Wow, I must act very grown up for my age!

A few years later; I was still in elementary school, and I was at a Girl Scouts’ function involving multiple troops. There were many other girls my age involved in the same activity as me, so I figured socializing would be easy. I was sitting at a round table alongside a good handful of other Girl Scouts whom I didn’t know, making necklaces out of colored plastic beads and string. I introduced myself to this curly-haired girl sitting next to me and she introduced herself back as Nicole. I asked her about her troop and service activities she’s done and she responded blandly, so I assumed she was maybe just shy. That didn’t stop me from continuing to attempt to make a friend. I blabbered on and on about going camping and riding horses and science projects before she interrupted me with: “You know, you have a deep voice for a girl.”

I sat silent for a moment. I wasn’t necessarily offended by her remark, as that was something I’d been told quite a few times at that age, but I was shocked by the abruptness of what she said. After all, our conversation topic wasn’t anything closely related to my voice.

“Yeah….” I nodded. “People tell me that a lot.”

Fast forward approximately two years later. I’m now in sixth grade, and I’ve had the worst trouble adjusting to middle school- getting used to racing around a two-story building to get from one class to another in less than five minutes, excessively tyrant teachers, attempting to become friends with anyone and everyone without making a fool of myself- I think you get it. Nothing about the first month of middle school was easy.

I’m in reading class. We’re assigned a group project- I think there were five of us. I have an idea on what we should do for this project, and I say my idea out loud. A few words into my sentence, this boy in my group interrupts me with “I never realized how deep your voice is”. Okay. I brush it off, continuing to propose my idea until I’m cut off again, by another boy. “Dude you really do have a deep voice for a girl!” he laughs.

Their comments aren’t related to this project; They’re dumb, just ignore them.

Before I realize it, I can’t even finish sharing my idea with the group because our project has turned into a thorough conversation about how deep my voice is and how it’s so weird that I “don’t sound like a girl”.

Within a matter of days, I became known to 2nd period reading class as man-voice Mariah, or just Man-voice for short. Where I had tried to be open and outgoing and talk to anyone every chance I had, I now avoided speaking at all costs in order to prevent “Man-voice! Man-voice!” from being shouted across the room. The class is assigned to read Maniac Magee; twenty-something hard copy novels laying open on desks occupied by twelve year olds. Of these twenty-something of us, I am chosed by my teacher to read a page out loud. Before I can even draw a breath to speak, a kid a few seats behind me mutters “Oh my god, why did she pick man-voice to read?!” I didn’t ignore the nasty comments, however I disregarded them as I had already been doing for weeks. I disregarded them as I continued reading out loud. I disregarded them as they only boomeranged back.

*fake cough*MANVOICE*fake cough*A fraction of the class erupts in laughter as my teacher erupts in frustration, attempting to shut the kids up. I however, sit helpless. What was I supposed to do in a situation like that anyways?

I’m now 15 years old. Freshman year just ended. It’s summer, and in the downtime I’ve had since coming back from vacation with my family, I spend a majority of my day laying in my bed with my phone in hand, bouncing between social media accounts. Long story short, I met a boy through Instagram. We started texting. He absolutely flattered me, and I was convinced that I flattered him as well. We texted every day. I’d tell him stories about my friends, or family, or how much I loved dance. He’d always tell me how much he admired me and how I was soooo pretty and I was a really fun person to talk to. In all honestly, he wasn’t a very interesting guy. But I was 15 and naïve, and I took any form of attention that came my way.

After about two weeks of the “talking stage”, he asked me out on a date (via text, of course). I was thrilled, but also anxious because I knew I had to find a way around my strict parents. Him and I went as far as devising a plan for me to lie to my parents and sneak out so I could see him (for the first time actually. This guy and I only met over social media, we didn’t go to the same school but he lived nearby). I called his number the night before to verify our plans.

“Um… Mariah? Is this actually you?” He answered after he picked up and I began speaking.

I was just as confused as he sounded. It was obviously my number, so I’m not sure why he questioned it. “Yeah? Who else would it be?” I laughed.

“What the…. You sound… Weird.”

Before I knew it, I was no longer on a call with him. I called him back, no answer. I texted him instead.

“So? What exactly was all that about? Why’d you hang up?”

“You sound like a dude when you talk”

“What?”

“That’s disgusting. I’m not gonna date a girl who sounds like a dude.”

Shock, confusion, followed by no more replies from this guy.

I was literally dumped because a guy didn’t like the way my voice sounded.

Petty, I know, but it was enough to completely wreck me. After all, I was in love with this guy and he was in love with me.

I had confidence in this guy. He’d always tell me what a great person I was. I looked forward to talking ot him every day. I looked forward to a relationship with this guy because after all, I convinced myself he was worth it. But was he really worth it if he belittled me over something I had already been insecure about for years?

(Answer: No, he was not)

 You hear “biggest insecurity” and you think of a physical attribute

My eyes are too close together. I’m too tall and lanky. My nose is big. My teeth are crooked and I don’t like to smile.

Is a voice a physical attribute? Well, you can’t see a voice (unless you have Synesthesia, of course). But it’s definitely something you can hear, and without a doubt something you have to use on a day to day basis. How else are you supposed to express yourself and communicate efficiently?

It’s definitely been years since any of the following incidents have occurred, yet my voice is still my biggest insecurity. I hate talking. I hate the sound of my voice. I live in constant fear of people being annoyed and irritated by its “unfeminine” pitch and awkward tone.

Against all odds, I have received a fair share of compliments on my voice. I’ve been told that it’s “different” and that I “sound really cool”. Flattering, it really is, but I don’t think I’ll bring myself to fully believe any praise I receive on something I’ve been harassed for in the past (and on some occasions, still in the present).

Anyone who has an insecurity knows this feeling: someone compliments you on something, completely oblivious to the fact that it’s something you hate about yourself. And you refuse to believe them. You think its sarcasm. You think it’s a joke. You think they’re lying.

Like I said, I’m not sure I’ll ever believe that the compliments people give me about my voice are genuine. I’m not sure I’ll ever believe that I have a beautiful, fun-to-listen-to voice. I’m not sure if I’ll ever learn to love my voice, but it’s something I’m sure I’m doing a great job of accepting for now.

-mariah