#or at least I would have recognized them as such if ace experiences weren't demeaned as “less bad” by almost everybody | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rawliverandgoronspice · 9 months

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I think we may have integrated a little too hard the idea that being aroace is the "easy mode" of queerness, and so contextualized all acephobic experiences as "not that bad" inherently rather than taking a hard look at them and what they can look like

#thoughts #personal #asexuality #aromantism #took me a while to acknowledge how absolutely *horrendous* my coming out process was #it was a bingo strike of bad coming out moments honestly #in a way that would have been obvious and followed very known patterns of systemic abuse #or at least I would have recognized them as such if ace experiences weren't demeaned as “less bad” by almost everybody #and so the focus becomes gatekeeping community empathy instead of listening to what's actually going on #it may be a mostly invisible identity but it also makes the surrounding violence much more insidious and harder to name #but it is very much there #and keeping that side of me a secret is still something that I have to put active thought into #(it becomes harder to hide as time goes on and hhhhh don't love that for me)#(can you tell I'm dreading the christmas family reunion.....)

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