#ooohhh sorry i kind of went off on my defense of em i didn't mean to

[iguessitsjustme]

Now I’m upset at em because when he had the time to fix the situation with name he just made it seem like name shouldn’t feel the way he is feeling also I hated how he got frustrated when mama didn’t answer him as fast as he normally would (now you see how name feels every time you said you would call but didn’t) that part made me so freaking mad! I was heated but to go to his mama like what plan does he have with his mother? Neither of them realize they are making him pull himself even more away from both of them

Hello my dear anon!

So I'm going to preface this by saying that I am also angry at Em. I don't think he's handling the situation very well and I am glad the rest of the friend group is keeping him in check. I also love Name so much. I would sell my soul for Name's happiness.

That being said, I don't think Em deserves all of the hate he is getting here on tumblr.com. I think it's important that despite his flaws, we recognize that he is still trying. He is now making a concentrated effort to let Name know when he is unavailable. He is trying.

I'm not sure who was on the other end of that phone call. I really hope it wasn't Name's mom because I would be livid. But I am going to hold off on my judgement and my anger until I am 100% sure. But even if it is Name's mother, Em has no way to know what she's been putting Name through. He's not there. He hasn't heard her guilt Name for not speaking. As far as he knows, Name is pulling away and isolating himself because he's left behind and lonely and it has nothing to do with his muteness.

And I love Name. Absolutely adore him and I will tear the world down if it meant he would start smiling again. But I think it's also important that we don't put Name on this pedestal of being some sort of perfect person incapable of mistakes. Not that he's made any mistakes. BUT as much as I love him and as much as it is not his fault, he is actively pushing the people closest to him away. He is choosing words that will hurt everyone, including himself. Again, it's in no way his fault, but I think it's important to note that the person on the receiving end of those messages is Em. Em is allowed to be hurt by them too. And when he noticed Name is being self destructive, his first instinct was to call...someone. Presumably someone he thought was in a position to help Name.

I don't think Em realizes the full extent of what Name is going through because he has no way to know. He's far away and he will only know what Name tells him. So from Em's perspective, he is super busy and exhausted all the time, and Name is lashing out about that. Because, again, Em has no way to know what Name's mother is doing to him. To Em, it's just a silly fight because he doesn't know any better. To Em, it's just Name angry that he's not available all of the time and it has nothing to do with his muteness. And Em is still trying to keep in contact. He's still trying to let Name know. He really listened to Gun's advice and he is trying. But he is not responsible for how Name responds. He can't control how upset Name is. And he can't help Name if he doesn't know what actually is wrong.

And as much as I love Name and as much as I want to rake his mother over the coals for her treatment of him, at some point, Name has to tell Em what's really bothering him. And trust me, I get it. I know how hard that is. I am also a person that tends to isolate myself and go silent when I'm going through it, but it's not the world's responsibility to fix my problems. My friends can't help if they don't know.

So while Em has most definitely fucked up, and owes Name the hugest of apologies, I think it's important to remember that he is still young and he is still human. He might be the catalyst for Name's breakdown but he's not the cause. Name's mother guilting him and pressuring him to "fix" himself when there's nothing wrong is the cause and she's the one placing all of the burden to help her son in the hands of Em, who seems like he's also struggling to keep it together.