#oooh or used bookstore... perhaps.

[walterdecourceys]

goodnight 👍 👍 👍 hashtag the melancholy

[wowzers-howzers]

Ok *slaps hands together* got some good good content right here. Rohan x wife!reader x Jotaro

Reader is joot’s wife, sex pollen stand trope, you know the deal. It’s obviously smut so like yea. Also, it’s a collab with @sacreddarknesss and we listened to Dreamscape the entire time we wrote. Brit Knee is an OC me and my friend came up with on the fly.

Mori mori mori moriocho radioooooo

Morioh was a quiet town, save for the occasional unruly stand user. Rohan sighed to himself in boredom. The only bad part of this town was the fact that there was nothing to do. When inspiration is lacking, the only thing to do was wander around until it struck.

The artist stands up, slowly stretching his back out. Hearing a few pops, he smiles to himself. Maybe he could go check on that new cafe downtown? Or maybe he could people watch down at the beach? Options.

Rohan checks his Rolex and notes that it’s a little after lunchtime, prime time at the cafe. He decides to go there and packs up his camera and a small sketch pad should inspiration strike him.

Walking briskly down the sidewalk, Rohan sees a streak of pink in the corner of his eye. Odd; He slows his walk to a stop and looks around cautiously. Something isn’t right.

Rohan’s emerald eyes flit across the street and at the various suburban homes lined up neatly as far as he can see. Nothing seems off, until he notices an unusual plant breaking up the monotony of the pristine lawns. It looks to be a large Calla lily in full bloom. That shouldn’t even be possible, Morioh doesn’t have the proper climate to support those. Odd.

Deciding to investigate, Rohan crosses the road and silently creeps toward the flower. Inspecting the leaves, suddenly a fine mist sprays out from the stalk of the flower. A sickly sweet scent envelopes Rohan in a stupor. His senses are overwhelmed with the strong smell and he finds himself on his knees coughing. His eyes are watering from the aroma.

“What the hell?!” He shouts, covering his mouth with his shirt. Rohan quickly scans his surroundings, hoping to find the stand user, but he has no such luck. Damn. He fishes his phone out of his messenger bag and dials Jotaro’s number. He was given orders to call Jotaro should any stand related problems arise.

Rohan waits with bated breath as the line rings several times. His hands grip his pants tightly, knuckles turning white from strain. Rohan feels his entire body burning, like a flame swallowing him up. A haze falls over his vision. This stand could pose a serious threat if he doesn’t get Jotaro here now to take it out.

Finally, the line clicks and a female voice greets him on the other side.

“Hello? Who is it?”

Rohan’s throat tightens up and his mouth goes dry.

“Get Jotaro,” he manages to sputter. He hears a commotion on the other end as (y/n) fetches her husband. Rohan swallows roughly, trying to ignore the pulsating tension flowing through his body.

“I don’t know where he is. Are you okay?” Concern is evident in her voice.

Rohan clenches his jaw.

“Enemy stand. Go to the old bookstore. I’m across the street,” he gasps out.

The dial tone drones on. He hopes that she is hurrying. He doesn’t know how much more he can deal with choking every time he breathes.

Rohan lays down on the cool grass, his senses heightened and feeling every blade of grass against his skin. His head pounds with what feels like a migraine and his vision swims deliriously.

He can’t get the sound of her voice out of his head. The soft tone plays on repeat.

Jotaro’s wife was a wildcard. She was a powerful stand user, but she rarely used her powers, preferring to be a support on the back lines. She had a quick wit and didn’t hesitate to give verbal lashings to anyone she believed deserved it. The image of her stuck in his head. No matter how hard he tried, he could never quite capture her in drawing. Her soft features, silky hair, lovely curves. Wait. Rohan tried to snap himself out of it. He had never thought of her in any sexual way, mainly out of respect to Jotaro, but now? He couldn’t help imagining her plush thighs in his hands, her gasps for more, how warm and soft she would feel around him. What was he doing?

Rohan feels a new tension in his stomach and notices his pants tightening slightly. He moves to sit up and groans at the friction. Why was he so hypersensitive? It must have something to do with that stand.

Panicking slightly, he realizes that he may not be able to actually fight the stand user. His mind is too clouded and stuck on his base desires. Part of him has the sick desire that (Y/N) will help him with that after they defeat the stand user. Rohan imagines her form, covered in glistening sweat after an exhausting battle, chest moving up and down as she pants.

His thoughts are interrupted when he hears a shout of his name. Oh. His name. The way it flows out of her mouth has him whining. More. He wants her to say his name more. (Y/N) sprints across the street and kneels down next to Rohan.

“Are you hurt? What happened? Did you see the user?” She rapidly fires questions at him. Rohan stares at her in a daze, unable to speak. She frowns slightly and puts a hand to his forehead.

“You’re burning up!” She shouts, but Rohan can only comprehend her soft skin on him, hoping to feel even more. He barely chokes down a whimper when she takes her hand back.

Her (e/c) eyes shoot around her surroundings, looking for anyone who may be watching. She slowly stands up, clenching her fists as she calls out her stand.

She notices movement behind the curtained window of the house whose lawn they were in. Bingo!

Bounding to the door, (y/n) quickly rips the door open and grabs the user before they have the chance to even react.

“What did you do? Tell me what you did!” She yells at the cowering man in her grasp. He looks back at (y/n) in utter disbelief, how had he been found out so quickly? He smirks as he stands up slowly, looking over the female, assessing how much of a threat she is. (y/n) glares at the man, his long blonde hair parting on the left side, with hints of a strawberry pink highlight going down the middle of the part. His blue cyan eyes look her up and down rapidly, perhaps if he activates his stand in time he could have a chance of seducing her.

He smiles widely now that he has the skeleton of a plan forming in his mind. He adjusts his belt buckle, showing off both the gender symbols, his entire outfit screaming 80’s. The white bell bottom pants, the pink v-neck shirt, and the bedazzled pink scarf around his tense neck showing off one of his many amazing hobbies.

“Why hello there beautiful, what brings you over to my humble abode?”

“Well I can’t kick your ass without coming inside now can I?”

“Aweee easy kitten, I don’t mean much trouble. I just wanted to help your friend out there, it seems like he was a little wound up.”

“What the hell did you do to him!”

“Heh, well sugar, I’ll tell ya, if you let me have a little fun with ya.” His smile grows wider as (y/n) glares harshly at him, ready to kick his ass into the next millennium.

“Listen, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but there is now way in hell I would ever even consider ‘messing around’ with you. Now tell me what the hell you’ve done to my friend or I’ll beat your ass!”

“Oooh~, kinky. Well, my dear, my name is Brit Knee and it seems that I’m going to have to teach you a lesson on how to be much nicer to people, you naughty little thing.~”

(Y/n) grimaces in disgust. Fucking cretin. Brit waves his hand up dramatically in the air as his stand materializes, a bright pink stand covered in calla lillies emerges from the ground. It’s face is made from one giant calla lily, and it makes a noise which roughly sounds like a horse neighing. It raises its petal covered arms and fires lillies at (y/n), who quickly doges out of the way.

“That’s it!” (y/n) yells summoning her stand, a giant dolphin-human hybrid emerges from behind (y/n).

“Tell me what you did,” she growls out, grabbing him by the collar and lifting him in the air. Brit chokes at the pressure on his neck.

“Fine!” He sputters. (Y/N) drops him to the ground abruptly, standing over the pathetic man ready to fight if he tries anything.

“Bare Naked Ladies is an aphrodisiac, but I can’t take away its effect,” he cries. “Once you inhale it’s fumes, if you don’t have sex within 24 hours you die!” Brit whimpers on the ground, curling into a ball. “I can’t do anything now so please don’t kill me!”

(Y/N) scowls in disgust. This stand’s power is absolute hedonism. What’s this about dying? She never knew a stand could do something like that.

“What do you mean? Are you even telling the truth?” She interrogates the bawling man.

“I said what I meant! He will die! I swear I’m not lying! Please don’t kill me!” He continues cowering like a little bitch.

“Well how do I stop it?” She questions.

“Well...uhhhhh...hmmm...my best recommendation is take him to a whore house,” he mutters under his breath.

“A what?!”

“Get him a prostitute!” Brit Knee cries out.

“He’ll have to fuck it out of his system!”

“What the fuck kinda stand is that?!” She screams.

“I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me! I am creature I cannot help this!” He cries. (y/n) glares at the broken man before her, almost pitying him. But then she pushes her pity aside and decides to deck him in the face.

-Time skip-

Rohan is curled against the ground, cradling his massive headache. (Y/N) slowly approaches him, hearing him groan in pain.

“How could I be so stupid? Putting my face in a plant! I, the great Rohan Kishibe, have made an utterly terrible mistake!” He cries out to himself.

“Shut up, stop being a baby,” (Y/N) scowls at him. “I found the stand user, he’s done. Let’s get you fixed up,” she leans down to pick up the smaller man.

Rohan cries out almost immediately after (y/n) touches him, which makes her pull away in shock. She sees him sweating and clenching his jaw. Rohan struggles to get to his feet alone.

“Don’t touch me,” he breathes out.

“Are you okay to walk?”

“Who did this?” Rohan demands.

“Brit Knee bitch,” she solemnly answers. “Sorry, that was a joke,” she trails off.

Rohan doesn’t even acknowledge her, “Where is Jotaro?”

“I don’t know. I’ll take you to the hotel in the meantime, you’re in no state to go anywhere alone right now,” she reasons, offering an arm to Rohan again, which he promptly refuses.

“We can call Koichi when we get back. He may know where Jotaro is.” (Y/N) looks sympathetically to the artist. He was drenched in sweat and visibly struggling to keep a grip on himself. He walked with a drunken stupor and (y/n) couldn’t help but grab his shoulders to steady him.

“Please,” he begs her, “I don’t know if you should do that.”

“Well I do know that you can’t walk so unless you have a better idea, this will do,” she snaps at him. Picking him up in her arms, she speedwalks to the hotel, ignoring any passerby’s who look oddly at the pair.

(y/n) enters the hotel, doing her best to ignore the gazes of the staff and any guests who happen to walk by. They probably thought she was having an affair, as they knew that she had checked in with her husband who was definitely not the man she was carrying up to her room right now. Rohan tries his hardest to ignore the problem arising in him, but it’s hard to do when the woman you’ve been silently pining after is holding you in her arms. (y/n) quickly makes her way to the suit and enters, using her foot to kick the door closed. She makes her way over to the bed, gently setting him down, much to his dismay.

Rohan breathes in the smell of the sheets and notices how much they smell like her. How many times had she and Jotaro laid in this bed together? If only she knew how badly he wanted to take Jotaro’s place, holding her and loving her until neither of them could stay awake.

Oblivious to Rohan’s thoughts, (y/n) quickly dials Koichi’s home phone. She bounces leg to leg, praying for someone to pick up soon. The line connects and she smiles brightly, happy for a breakthrough. Rohan notices her smile and can’t help but breath out heavily, wishing he could make her smile like that.

“Hello, this is the Hirose residence. Who is this?”

“Hey Coochie,” (y/n) laughs to herself at her joke, “Is Jotaro there?”

Rustling is heard on the other end as Coochie goes to check, a distant sounding “yes” is heard as he readjusts the receiver.

“Yes he’s here, want me to get him Mrs. Kujo?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.” He sets the phone down and runs off leaving (y/n) on hold.

(Y/N) worriedly looks toward the artist resting on her bed, hoping that Jotaro has an answer on what to do about this. The phone is picked back up and a gruff voice answers.

“(y/n), what’s wrong?”

“Well, ya see, um…” she trails off. “Rohan got attacked by a stand, I took care of the user but there are some...residual effects.”

“Residual effects?”

“Um, he is, uh, incapacitated by, well I don’t know how to put it. The user said something about fuck or die.”

“What?”

“Fuck or die? I don’t know but he made it clear that if Rohan doesn’t get release within 24 hours, he will die.”

“Well isn’t there a strip club in this town? Take him there. He has enough money to get a happy ending,” Jotaro reasons.

“I don’t think so? Even if they did, I really doubt it’d be like American strip clubs where money will get you anything.”

“Does he have anyone who he can call for this?”

“What, like a booty call? Him? Fat chance of that, but I’ll ask,” she answers. Calling out to Rohan, “Do you have anyone who um, you could ask for, hm how should I put this? A favor? Of the sexual kind?”

“I’m not a whore,” he shoots back.

“Yea that’s a no from him,” she informs her husband.

“No wonder he is so awful. Can’t even get laid. Well, do what you have to do.”

“What? What are you saying Jojo?”

“Fuck him. Quick and easy. It’s not like we have any other options. We can’t just let him die. Good grief, woman, what do you think I’m saying?”

“But! I can’t just! I-I can’t do that!” She protests.

“Why not? You aren’t cheating on me, and it’s not like he will come back for more. If that’s the only way to save him, I’ll allow it.”

“Jojo! I feel like I should have a say in this!”

“Okay. What do you want to do about this? Do you have any better suggestions?”

“Not really, but there must be some other way,” she worries her bottom lip between her teeth.

“What’s the issue then?”

“I-I don’t want to do this alone…”

“Good grief, speak your mind!”

“Please come back. We can do it...together?”

“I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” he abruptly ends the call.

(Y/N) let’s out an unsteady breath. What had she just agreed to? A threesome with her husband and Rohan? How would that even work? She glances over to Rohan, seeing him panting.

Five minutes pass agonizingly slowly. Finally, the door to the room is opened and quickly slammed shut as Jotaro stalks into the room.

Jotaro glares at the man on the bed, “Pathetic.”

Rohan scoots away from the side of the bed closest to Jotaro, inadvertently bumping right up against (y/n).

“Are you sure this is the only way?” (Y/N) looks at Jotaro.

Rohan covers his lap under the fluffy duvet and looks down.

(Y/N) rubs his back, to which Rohan responds with a low gasp.

Jotaro’s eyes squint, “It seems this is the best course of action.”

Rohan looks between the two, silently praying that one of them will break the tension and just start.

(Y/N) shakily puts her hand against Rohan’s chest.

“Don’t worry, we will take care of you,” she soothes.

Rohan shudders at her low voice and pushes against her touch. Jotaro gets the message and stands behind (y/n) resting his hands on her hips.

She nervously pulls Rohan forward into her grasp and gently kisses him.

It’s like a shock to his system. Rohan can’t help himself as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her back onto the bed, her legs straddling him. Jotaro leans over and leaves soft kisses up and down (y/n)’s neck, ending by sucking against the junction where her neck meets her shoulder.

Rohan’s hands roam all over her body, coming to rest on her chest. He gives an experimental squeeze, eyes lighting up when he hears her shuddering groan. Jotaro holds her hips tightly in his own grasp, hot breath fanning across the back of her neck. The taller man pulls her ass towards himself and slowly grinds against her, feeling himself start to harden.

(Y/N) reaches a tentative hand down to Rohan’s lap, and squeaks in surprise when he roughly grabs her hand and pushes his hard length against it. Rohan shakily sighs, finally getting some form of friction. Taking his lead, she massages him, pressing the palm of her hand firmly along his cock.

She sighs as Jotaro, kneels behind her, giving her support from the awkward angle she was in. He gently caresses her ass, ghosting his large hands over her heat.

Rohan whines against (y/n)’s touch and quickly breaks apart from her soft kisses to take his shirt off, finding the constriction unbearable.

“Calm down there buddy,” (y/n) laughs nervously, only to be met with Rohan’s lust-blown eyes. His mouth is parted slightly, panting. Rohan looks to Jotaro, as if asking permission to do something. Jotaro nods slightly. Rohan roughly pulls your shirt up and off of you, leaving you in a bra. Jotaro makes quick work of that, flinging the now useless garment somewhere in the room.

You gasp in shock and Rohan greedily takes one of your nipples into his mouth, already roughly grabbing and massaging the other one.

“R-Rohan!”

He growls against you and lightly nips at your sensitive chest. Jotaro, not one to be outdone, pulls your pants down and off of your legs, leaving you in your underwear. He presses one hand roughly against your clothed slit. Your back arches against him.

Rohan pulls you down to sit on his lap, relishing in the heat between your legs rubbing against him deliciously. Jotaro glares at him, resigning himself to holding your head back for heated kissing.

You wiggle your hips, gyrating on Rohan, sending him into even more of a frenzy than before. Jotaro snakes an arm around you to reach down your front side. His hand momentarily rests against the elastic band of your panties before diving underneath, teasing you with one finger against your lips. You whine against him, trying to adjust your hips to feel more, but Jotaro refuses to give in and finger you. Instead, he gently presses against your clit, adding more and more pressure every time you move against him.

“J-jojo, please,” she whines needily.

“Please what?”

“Please go in, please use your hand, I can’t take the teasing,” (y/n) grinds against Rohan and Jotaro’s fingers.

Suddenly, Jotaro dips his fingers into her wet pussy, roughly finger-fucking her. She screams out, slamming her hips down, making Rohan moan as well.

Hearing him, (y/n) looks down and sees how painfully clothed he still is.

“Rohan,” she mewls. “Take your pants off, please~”

He visibly shakes, hearing her beg and say his name so sweetly is like music to his ears. He slides his pants down, leaving him in only boxers. (Y/N) palms against him before grabbing him through the thin material. He gasps at her hard touch. Keening against her for more, Rohan bucks his hips into her grasp.

(Y/N)’s thighs squeeze against Jotaro’s hand, prompting him to take his hand out, seductively licking her moisture from his fingers before giving her another open-mouth kiss.

Tasting herself on him, she moans against him, tilting her hips against him to give him a roll. Jotaro breathes out heavily before pulling back and stripping off everything. (Y/N) finds herself licking her lips, watching her husband take it all off for her before he rejoins her on the bed. Jotaro presses his thick length against her still clothed pussy, rubbing in between her thighs, groaning at the feeling.

Rohan watches with rapt attention, the pure eroticism of the action making him drool. He watches (y/n)’s face as it contorts in pleasure. Rohan grips himself, tugging himself out of his boxers, grabbing her hand to grip him directly.

His tip is leaking, after being so needy and wanting for so long, he can’t take much more waiting.

Jotaro grabs (y/n)’s hips, hands playing with the band of her panties before ripping them off.

“H-hey! Those were my good ones!” She protests.

“Shut up, I’ll buy you more,” Jotaro silences her, one hand holding her neck, not putting pressure on it yet, but just holding it there. Rohan, taking the moment she is distracted, runs his fingers through her folds, gathering up moisture.

She squeaks in shock, watching as Rohan puts the finger in his mouth, sucking her essence off of him.

“Exquisite,” he sighs, gazing at her adoringly.

“Mine,” Jotaro replies, possessively grabbing (y/n)’s body, positioning himself at her entrance.

“Me first,” he grunts, relishing in the feeling of her tight walls clamping down on him.

(Y/N) let’s out a shaky gasp, never getting used to how well her husband fills her up, just how large he is. Jotaro finally bottoms out, only to pull her hips back up before dropping her back on his dick. Rohan watches, eyes stuck on the sight of her cunt swallowing the large dick whole.

“Make yourself useful,” Jotaro glares at Rohan, prompting him to stimulate her clit while she bounces on his cock. Rohan eagerly complies, using his hands to rub against her.

(Y/N) cries out, overstimulated from Jotaro’s dick jackhammering into her combined with Rohan’s skilled hands working her clit.

“G-Gonna cum,” she gasps out, thighs clenching, hips bucking against Jotaro.

“Cum for me, show him how well I treat you,” Jotaro growls in her ear.

(Y/N)’s orgasm hits her like a freight train, spasms ripping through her body as her vision whites out from the pleasure. Her pussy clenches onto Jotaro’s cock, bringing him to release too.

He holds her hips steadily against his own, panting in her ear as he empties himself out into her. Rohan finds himself transfixed by the sight of Jotaro’s cum oozing out of her.

“Here. Your turn,” Jotaro removes himself from her folds still breathing heavily.

“Blow his mind, honey,” he whispers against her ear. (Y/N) shudders at the gravelly tone in his voice before nodding, falling down to cage Rohan between her arms. Her arms support her weight, not wanting to just fall against the smaller man. He is broken out of his stupor when she lines herself up against his cock and sinks down slowly.

To say Rohan enjoyed it would be an understatement. It was pure bliss, Jotaro’s cum acting as a lubricant, allowing him to slide against her velvety walls. The warmth made him feel like he was melting underneath her, eyes rolling back as she finally reached the bottom.

Giving an experimental roll of her hips, Rohan’s arm shot up to her back, his nails digging in in pleasure.

“A-Ah~ (y/n)! Please,” he begged. Oh how the mighty fall. The great Rohan Kishibe, reduced to a begging fool at the slightest provocation. If he had the mental wherewithal to be ashamed, he would be, but right now, the only thing he could think about was how warm and wet her pussy was as she bounced up and down on him.

(Y/N)’s sweat-covered body warmed up again, the angle Rohan’s dick hitting her in just the right way. Her back arched, pushing her pelvis against him. The new position added just the right amount of friction against her clit with every bounce of her body.

“Rohan, I’m, fuck, I’m cumming!” She shouted, her hips losing rhythm as she ground herself against him, clenching down. Rohan moves his hands to her hips and roughly pulled her up and thrust into her, not wanting to lose the delicious friction.

Gasping out, (y/n)’s body went into overdrive, the added pleasure wiping her out entirely. “F-fuck~!”

Rohan moaned his approval, hips canting to meet her hips every time he dropped her down onto his dick.

“So close,” he cried out. Unable to hold out any longer, Rohan slammed with more fervor. Like an animal seeking release, Rohan held her body tightly against him until finally the coil of tension snapped, crying out as he rode out his orgasm.

“(Y/N)!” Rohan couldn’t help but scream her name, shooting his cum inside her to mix with Jotaro’s. His vision was filled with stars, drool spilling out of his parted mouth, body entirely blissed out.

Jotaro watched in amusement, he knew his wife was a dream in bed. He watched as she rolled off of Rohan to the side. Picking her up in his arms, he carried her to the bathroom to clean her up.

“You’re welcome,” he said, kicking the bathroom door closed to clean (y/n) up.

Rohan, thoroughly spent, stared up at the ceiling, unable to move from his pure exhaustion. His body finally started ramping down, finally relaxing after hours of pure tension.

[ravenamore]

Fate/Zero light novel readthru and commentary, Vol. 3 Act 9-10

-“Ryūnosuke’s shoulders shook as he sobbed. Caster gently gathered him into his comforting embrace.”

POP HIS HEAD OFF, POP HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF

- “In the end I was not eliminated by God, but by men who had endless desires, like me. The Church and King decided that I was guilty, captured and executed me. But all they wanted was my wealth and my land; they simply drew me into a trap to make those things their own. That was not punishment for my sins! That was nothing more than blatant robbery!”

DUDE, YOU WERE CAUGHT IN THE ACT OF RAPING, TORTURING AND KILLING LITTLE BOYS. STFU.

- Kiritsugu loves fast food, and hated the haute cuisine of the Einzberns.

- The mutual obsession between Kirei and Kiritsugu, wow.

- “Under normal circumstances, when a person wears a smile he often will infect the people around him, easing the surrounding atmosphere, but by coincidence Kirei was of a personality that was not the sort to like seeing other people smiling; moreover, the smile of the King of Heroes in front of him could only be associated with some unsettling things.”

GIL, TONE THE RAPEFACE DOWN A NOTCH, YOU'RE SCARING THE GUY YOU'RE BASICALLY TRYING TO SEDUCE

As if now more interested in Kirei who had been again granted the holy marks, the scarlet eyes of the King of Heroes shone with the light of pleasure.

- "To pursue, for your own desires. That is the true way of entertainment. Then entertainment will bring pleasure, and pleasure will guide you in the direction of happiness.

The road has been pointed out to you, Kirei. Pointed out extremely clearly to you."

THIS ENTIRE SCENE IS GIL SAYING “TAKE ME NOW, KIREI!” GIL'S A POWER BOTTOM, PROVE ME WRONG

- Irisviel hummed for a while, then suddenly a mischievous smile emerged on her face.

“I’ve suddenly got an idea. We should go to the world’s black market and buy something like the latest tank or bomber; if you get in and drive it, then wouldn't you finish this entire Heaven's Feel with one blow?”

IRI, YOU’RE THINKING TOO SMALL

1. KILL YOUR HUSBAND, CUT HIS HAND OFF, BOOM, YOU GOT SABER'S COMMAND SPELLS

2. HAVE SABER KILL SOLA-UI (DO EVERYONE A FAVOR AND TAKE OUT KAYNETH TOO), CUT HER HAND OFF, BOOM, YOU'VE GOT LANCER'S COMMAND SPELLS, SO YOU CAN GIVE HIM MANA SO HE DOESN'T DIE WHEN SOLA-UI BITES IT.

POINT OUT THAT, SEEING AS YOU ARE TECHNICALLY THE GRAIL, HE JUST ACHIEVED HIS GOAL. WHICH ALSO MEANS HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE TO KILL SABER.

3. ASK MAIYA IF SHE WANTS TO BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND WITH YOU ALL, OR, IF THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE WANTS, OFFER TO GIVE HER A LIFT SOMEWHERE.

3. FUCKING RUN EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE OVER. TURN FUYUKI CITY INTO A PARKING LOT. (SORRY SHIROU, RIN, TAIGA AND SAKURA, IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE)

4. RAM A WALL IN EINZBERN CASTLE, GET ILYA

5. GET THE FUCK OUT OF JAPAN, GO TO MONACO WITH YOUR NEW FAMILY AND BECOME A FORMULA ONE RACER OR SOMETHING. YOU CAN ALL BE HAPPY NOW THE END.

I KNOW THERE ARE HOLES IN THE PLAN, BUT, TRUST ME, IT'S BETTER THAN WHAT'S COMING UP

- “Oooh! I found you I found you! Such a short dude hiding between the shelves really can’t be seen by anyone, and is so bothersome to find.”

DON'T FEEL BAD, WAVER, MY HUSBAND LOSES ME IN BOOKSTORES B/C I'M SHORT TOO

- Half way through his sentence, Waver suddenly discovered that the large paper bag in Rider’s hand was too enormous as packaging for just one software disc. He immediately realised that this King of Conquerors bought the console as well.

LOCAL GAMESTOP'S ECSTATIC B/C HE PREORDERED EVERYTHING COMING UP, TOO.

ACT 10

- “Caster is at the depths of that massive meat. Well, what should we do?”

BREAK OUT THE BBQ SAUCE?

- 11th mention of Diarmuid's attractiveness.

- ““If this is a monster film, we are surely the roles which will be killed. The underdogs from Ultraman.”

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE A RED SHIRT, BUT CAN'T DO A THING ABOUT IT

- Tokiomi, you are the biggest wuss, ever. Your 7 year old is braver than you - she hears her friend’s vanished, she just decided she was going to find her.

You're too chicken to use your Command Spells. Gil doesn't buy your ass-kissing anymore, no wonder he's cheating on you.

- “Numerous thick and robust web-like extensions stretched out from the surface of the meat lump on the river and entangled Kobayashi's craft, forcibly dragging the plane down despite the turbofan engine's thrust. Such a scene can only be called a nightmare.

The plane didn’t explode when it smashed into the meat lump. The F15, reduced into scrap iron, sank deeply into the gigantic primeval creature and was swallowed with not a single fragment left.”

THIS HAS GOTTEN LOVECRAFTIAN. H. R. GEIGER WON'T EVEN PAINT THIS SHIT.

-The pilot, who'd already literally gone insane, just dies of horror when Berserker lands on the plane.

- “The thick evening mist enveloped the icy air as Tōsaka Tokiomi descended from the sky.

For a proficient magus, a controlled descent through manipulating mass and air currents is nothing too difficult. Or perhaps it should be said that the degree of proficiency is determined by the elegance of its execution.

Maintaining an absolutely vertical and straight path, landing as lightly as feather with his clothes and hair completely unruffled － an ordinary magus would definitely give a heartfelt praise upon seeing such an exemplary and skilled move like Tokiomi's.”

HE'S PROBABLY THINKING HE LOOKS LIKE MAGNETO

- What's grosser, tentacle monsters that eat planes, or magic worms slowly eating their host?

- Thank you, Kiritsugu, for killing Ryūnosuke, possibly the one decent action you've taken so far.

- “Based on Tōsaka Tokiomi’s standards, this is too crude to be called a battle of magecraft - it was nothing but a comical farce.”

SEEING AS YOU COULD HAVE JUST FARTED HARD AND KILLED KARIYA, YEAH.

- I am wondering if the idiots I've seen on Tumblr call Diarmuid an incel have missed that the second he learns Saber can nuke Caster's monster, he breaks Gae Buidhe to restore her left hand's strength?

- Even though he’s totally psycho, Caster seeing Jeanne before he died (in the anime, she’s offering him her hand)was pretty heartbreaking.

- “Different from the King of Conqueror’s fully melancholic expression, the golden Servant’s smile was immeasurably obscene and did not hide his dirty desires at all.”

ALEXANDER'S GOING TO PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN YOUR RAPEFACE, GIL.

- He had a flashback to Enkidu's death, him weeping in his arms because Gil would be all alone. Ow.

- You know, If Tokiomi had thought about it, he should have tried to have Kirei summon Enkidu, just to keep Gil's ass in line.

[pennywaltzy]

Old Books & New Flames (10/18)

And here’s a sweet domestic type scene between Molly and Seb in this chapter!

Old Books & New Flames - When Sebastian Moran asks local bookstore owner Molly Hooper for a job, all he wants is a second chance to live the life he should have been living before prison. What Molly gets is more than a loyal employee and good friend. What she ends up with is what she had always wanted her entire life: happiness.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 10 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI? | MY PATREON

She woke up when the alarm went off to go get the papers from downstairs. She also woke up to an empty bed, but the smell of coffee told her Seb had perhaps already gotten up and taken care of the papers and had something planned. She waited a moment and sure enough, there was Seb with a cup of coffee and a plate of scones from the bakery.

“I take it you already took the newspapers over?” she asked, sitting up.

He nodded. “She was a bit surprised to see me but I think she figured out rather quickly you’d stayed here last night. She included an extra few of the currant scones and said she hoped everything worked out.”

“That was lovely of her,” she said with a smile, taking the plate and the mug of coffee. She set the plate on her lap and had some of the coffee, which he had made with Sally’s creamer instead of her favorite, but that was alright. It was the thought that counted more than anything else. “When I’m done with this I’ll do the paperwork from last night. We’ll close a little earlier tonight so we can go to dinner at Sally and Greg’s together.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t stay here at the shop?” he asked.

“If anything happens we have a fairly good idea of who’s behind it,” she said. “I doubt any of the women are too upset at losing your attention, but Moriarty...he wouldn’t take it well. Still, it would be foolish to try something so soon after destroying my vehicle, and he has to know that.”

“I don’t know,” he said, sitting on the end of the bed next to her. “He did steal stock while he thought he could get away with it and then sold it to the shops in London. That doesn’t make me think he’s very bright.”

She thought about it a moment. “Maybe we can ask if someone in the village will keep an eye on things. I know one or two people who might feel comfortable sitting outside if I offer them a rare book in exchange.”

“That could be a sound thing to do if you can spare the loss of stock,” he said.

“Oh, no, these are people that are interested in Martha's collection of books that I pawn off when we need an increase in funds. Or I could pay them outright from the last batch I sold.” She tilted her head for a moment. “I’ll make the offer to Amelia’s boyfriend first. He’s a trustworthy lad, was always around when Martha was alive. I doubt he’d want anything to happen to this place just as much as we wouldn’t.”

Seb nodded and then picked up one of the scones off the plate. She gave him a curious look until he grinned. “It’s chocolate chip, not currant. It was mine all along.”

“Ah,” she said, giving him a soft smile. “Never would have guessed you had a sweet tooth.”

“I like my chocolate and my candies,” he said. “Wouldn’t mind getting some Jaffa Cakes next time I’m out, actually.”

“Oooh, we should stock up on those. They’re Mary’s weakness, too.”

“Then I’ll buy some for everyone and some for us if you’d like some.”

“I would,” she said, her smile widening. “And maybe I’ll buy you a box of chocolates for being so kind to me.”

“I think that sounds like an excellent deal,” he said with a grin of his own before biting into the scone. She felt better this morning, far better than she had hoped she would, and she knew a lot of it was Seb’s doing. How she had gotten so lucky that he had come into her shop and asked for employment, she’d never know, but she hoped that luck held out until they were out of this sticky situation.

[televinita]

Reading Triage

All-new and fully updated since the last triage post. Maybe if I hype the books to myself in a public way, they will STOP DISAPPOINTING ME.

(In no particular order, which makes the second word of my title a lie)

The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap: A Memoir of Friendship, Community, and the Uncommon Pleasure of a Good Book: I first checked this out 3 years ago, ran out of time and/or wasn’t quite in the right mood for it then, but always meant to go back. I’m definitely in the mood to read about opening a bookstore in a small town right now...

[verdict: 5-stars-amazing]

Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters - Meredith Zeitlin: OK, this is probably a 3-star read, but the good kind of 3 stars --light and cute. I’m really into thinking about people entering high school right now, kinda wishing I was back in that stage, so this is the headspace I want to be in.

[verdict: accurate]

Sophomore Year is Greek to Me - Meredith Zeitlin: Same, but this one is set in Greece, and summer is a fun time to imagine being there (even though that’s not when she goes). Comparisons to Anna and the French Kiss have already poisoned the well (am not a fan of the former), but maybe it will surprise me!

[verdict: see previous book, but this one was better[

Plague Land - Alex Scarrow: I’m always down for plague apocalypses! Except when I’m not. So I might not get to this one after all, but perhaps a desire for a thriller will strike. ...unless it’s a trilogy. Then I am less willing to commit.

[verdict:  super enjoyable! i also read the sequel immediately, and would have finished the trilogy except book 3 was just published this year and local library does not have it.]

Mariam Sharma Hits The Road - Sheba Karim: Lured by the bright cover, I came for the road trip aspect. Unsure if conversations about sexuality and/or cultural/religious identity will overwhelm  it. Pretty leery that they will. Reviews are not promising, but oftentimes people are morally outraged about things that I don’t notice. The same things can still annoy me for different reasons, though.

[verdict: threw it out after 5-10 pages. full of obnoxiousness]

The Opposite of Love - Sarah Lynn Scheerger: High potential for hurt/comfort: good! 272 pages of small print: bad. I am lazy, yo. It would help if I could figure out which teen characters from TV I would like to cast in this. Why do I literally always forget everyone except the kids from Glee when I need them for books, and remember them only when it’s too late?

...d’ya think I could run this with O.C.? Ryan/Marissa? I need a “wild child” rebellious girl I won’t hate and a considerate boy with abusive/drunk/absent parents from the wrong side of the tracks. I’m liking this hypothetical character slate, but I also truly cannot remember a single other fictional teen right now, so.

(update: Southern CA setting and the guy’s best friend with a “house that feels like home” is Jewish. You are not even slightly putting me off here.)

(update 2: maybe not, w/ repeatedly being reminded the guy is 200 pounds and suggestion that the girl is not white, but that’s okay, I’m into the characters on their own merit now.)

[FINAL VERDICT: um, it was all the hurt/comfort I could have desired and I immediately bought the $1 copy off the library’s sale shelf after reading]

Girl Online On Tour - Zoe Sugg: I enjoyed the first book last year more than I expected, and as my heart was filling with hate @ the mediocre books last week, I decided that finally continuing this trilogy (I had to order it via ILL) would at least make reading fun again. Reviews are...not promising on its ability to continue to deliver the best aspect, Brooklyn Boy and their romance, but it should still hit at least 3 stars and be fun enough.

[verdict: continued the 4-star streak and was super enjoyable! book 3 is where it faltered, but even that was still enjoyable.]

POTENTIAL FUTURE TITLES IF ALL OF THE ABOVE FAIL ME

[Blanket verdict: as of 10/22, I only got around to reading the last two. Summerlost was crap -- thankfully I did NOT suffer the audio -- and Hooked was, I think, worth it, but also put me into a second reading slump when it took me over a week to finish pushing through; the latter half is better than the first]

-The Geography of Lost Things - Jessica Brody (I’m still in the breathless anticipation stage and happy there, but if this isn’t 4 stars with potential to go up I will be shocked)

-The Wonder of Us - Kim Culbertson (will have to order via ILL)

The Possibility of Now - Kim Culbertson

-Tokyo Heist - Diana Renn (loved her last armchair vacation thriller, just not sure if Japan is the country I want to be in)

-Hooked - Catherine Greenman (a reread, perhaps setting myself up for disappointment as I rated it 3 stars before, but I can’t remember anything except that it REALLY feels like that cannot be right and I would like it more now)

- Summerlost - Ally Condie (oooh, also available as an audiobook!)

[pennywaltzy]

Old Books & New Flames (10/?)

And another update requested by @strangelock221b ! Soon I’m going to run out of Sebolly WIPs to update but that’s alright, I have tons of the trope mash-up prompts so soon I can write new stuff. Anyway, here’s the new chapter. Enjoy!

Old Books & New Flames - When Sebastian Moran asks local bookstore owner Molly Hooper for a job, all he wants is a second chance to live the life he should have been living before prison. What Molly gets is more than a loyal employee and good friend. What she ends up with is what she had always wanted her entire life: happiness.

READ CHAPTER 1 | READ CHAPTER 10 | HELP ME SURVIVE? | COMMISSION ME? | BUY ME A KOFI?

She woke up when the alarm went off to go get the papers from downstairs. She also woke up to an empty bed, but the smell of coffee told her Seb had perhaps already gotten up and taken care of the papers and had something planned. She waited a moment and sure enough, there was Seb with a cup of coffee and a plate of scones from the bakery.

“I take it you already took the newspapers over?” she asked, sitting up.

He nodded. “She was a bit surprised to see me but I think she figured out rather quickly you’d stayed here last night. She included an extra few of the currant scones and said she hoped everything worked out.”

“That was lovely of her,” she said with a smile, taking the plate and the mug of coffee. She set the plate on her lap and had some of the coffee, which he had made with Sally’s creamer instead of her favorite, but that was alright. It was the thought that counted more than anything else. “When I’m done with this I’ll do the paperwork from last night. We’ll close a little earlier tonight so we can go to dinner at Sally and Greg’s together.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t stay here at the shop?” he asked.

“If anything happens we have a fairly good idea of who’s behind it,” she said. “I doubt any of the women are too upset at losing your attention, but Moriarty...he wouldn’t take it well. Still, it would be foolish to try something so soon after destroying my vehicle, and he has to know that.”

“I don’t know,” he said, sitting on the end of the bed next to her. “He did steal stock while he thought he could get away with it and then sold it to the shops in London. That doesn’t make me think he’s very bright.”

She thought about it a moment. “Maybe we can ask if someone in the village will keep an eye on things. I know one or two people who might feel comfortable sitting outside if I offer them a rare book in exchange.”

“That could be a sound thing to do if you can spare the loss of stock,” he said.

“Oh, no, these are people that are interested in Martha's collection of books that I pawn off when we need an increase in funds. Or I could pay them outright from the last batch I sold.” She tilted her head for a moment. “I’ll make the offer to Amelia’s boyfriend first. He’s a trustworthy lad, was always around when Martha was alive. I doubt he’d want anything to happen to this place just as much as we wouldn’t.”

Seb nodded and then picked up one of the scones off the plate. She gave him a curious look until he grinned. “It’s chocolate chip, not currant. It was mine all along.”

“Ah,” she said, giving him a soft smile. “Never would have guessed you had a sweet tooth.”

“I like my chocolate and my candies,” he said. “Wouldn’t mind getting some Jaffa Cakes next time I’m out, actually.”

“Oooh, we should stock up on those. They’re Mary’s weakness, too.”

“Then I’ll buy some for everyone and some for us if you’d like some.”

“I would,” she said, her smile widening. “And maybe I’ll buy you a box of chocolates for being so kind to me.”

“I think that sounds like an excellent deal,” he said with a grin of his own before biting into the scone. She felt better this morning, far better than she had hoped she would, and she knew a lot of it was Seb’s doing. How she had gotten so lucky that he had come into her shop and asked for employment, she’d never know, but she hoped that luck held out until they were out of this sticky situation.