#only to be betrayed by the reality and realisation that they are not the exception to the drivers before them.

[deductordemigod]

It's winter. You ask me about love and I tell you about violence. I'm sorry. I thought that's what love was. It's all the same anyway. Love is never what you want it to be. It can be better, but it can be worse. It doesn't always have to hurt but it always hurts me. The devotion to pain, to something bigger than myself. Love is something big and loud, and god left a long time ago, and took the tenderness with him. So if you're going to feel anything, why not make it hurt. I used to be a hole in the ground, now I am just a hole in myself.

Saudi Arabia GP [Jeddah] (2022) // unknown // Azerbaijan GP [Baku] (2019) // Azerbaijan GP [Baku] (2023) // 'Translations' by Brian Friel [Act 2 Scene 2] (1980) // unknown // Belgian GP [Spa] (2004) // German GP [Hockenheim] (2018) // Singapore GP [Marina Bay Street Circuit] (2023) // 'Translations' by Brian Friel [Act 3] (1980)// unknown // Bahrain GP [Bahrain International Circuit] (2022) // 'Translations' by Brian Friel [Act 3] (1980) // British GP [Silverstone] (2022) // 'Translations' by Brian Friel [Act 3] (1980) // unknown // Spanish GP [Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya] (2022) // French GP [Circuit Paul Ricard] (2022)

so i'm studying the play 'Translations' in my english literature class, and i couldn't help but find some of the quotes relatable to charles. i then found this poem online (unfortunately no source to be found no matter how hard i look), and the rest is history so to speak.

[flangore]

❥ she loves me like a dog

feat.: Valentino & Vox/f!reader

summary: You try and run away from Valentino. It's an entirely stupid idea and backfires spectacularly.

warnings: nsfw content, noncon, physical + psychological abuse, unhealthy relationships, violence, punishments, manipulation, Valentino and Vox are their own warnings, guns, object insertion

Every demon in Hell, especially ones who had spent quite some time in the V's part of Pentagram City, knew that there was no escaping Valentino's grasp.

With connections that spread like spiderwebs through every part of town, there was nowhere to be safe, nowhere to hide, given how Vox's eyes reached every street, every alley, a phone or a security camera always in each and every corner.

There was nowhere to hide — except for at the Hazbin Hotel, apparently under the protection of the Radio Demon. You had heard Vox whine and bitch about it at one point, anger dripping off his voice, and, despite knowing better, your heart had lept with hope. Days after, you had tried your hardest to ignore each of the silly ideas making themselves at home in your mind; had attempted to not think of running away, of a better life.

And yet, in the end, you hadn't been able to resist temptation.

Every demon in Hell knew that there was no escaping Valentino's grasp.

That was why you had only yourself to blame for the consequences now that he had caught ahold of you once more, the contract, signed with both of your names, floating next to your face in silent mockery.

Tears brimmed in your eyes; your heart threatened to drop out of your chest with how erratically it was beating.

“I'm kinda disappointed, baby”, Valentino drawled, accent coming through thickly, betraying his calm and collected act. A claw, painted golden, hooked underneath your chin, tilting it upwards until your neck ached, your height difference only adding to the unease curling in your stomach. “Tell me, why did you do feel the need to run away like that?”

Your throat felt tight.

“Come on, you can trust me. Trust us.”

The chains, made of red smoke and currently wound tightly enough to leave marks around your wrists and ankles, really did not make you feel like you were able to trust him. Neither did Vox's presence. Admittedly, he had always unnerved you even more than Valentino had, though, right now, his smirk was downright terrifying.

“Was it the working conditions?” Vox crooned, tone lathered with contempt, with amusement. “Were you unhappy with your job? Do tell us. We're always open to criticism, really.”

There was no explanation that could have excused your actions.

Valentino's smirk widened. “Yeah, babe. What was the issue? I mean, you really can't quit, not with our contract, so what was the purpose of trying to run away?”

“I remember just how grateful you were when Val offered you this opportunity years ago. Do you suddenly think you're too good for us?”

Those words, leaving Vox's mouth so easily, finally dragged you far enough back into reality for you to get a noise out, high-pitched and terrified.

“No”, you choked out, quickly shaking your head, panic making you tremble. “No, that's not—”

“No? Then tell us the reason, mi amor.”

You were pretty certain you were in the middle of a panic attack, lungs feeling too small to take any oxygen in. Not that it mattered right now. “I don't know, I wasn't thinking—”

“That's such a shame. If you at least had an explanation, we could go easy on you.” Vox clicked his tongue, not looking like it was a shame at all. “Val, will you do the honours?”

“Already on it, babe.”

With how large of a being Valentino was, it was all too easy to forget just how quickly he was able to move. Pain bloomed on your cheek, your head spinning, and it took quite a moment for you to realise that he had hit you with the hilt of his gun, custom-made.

In the back of your mind, you wondered whether the rhinestones on it had left indents on your skin.

A metallic taste spread in your mouth. “Please—”

“It's a little late to beg”, Vox remarked.

Valentino's smile was all teeth, unkind in nature. “But it's fine, sweetheart, don't worry. I won't fire you.” His hand cupped your aching cheek, then grabbed ahold of your hair, yanking your head back painfully. “You'll be with us forever. Aren't you grateful? We just have to teach you a lesson. Can't have the bitches acting up, now can we?”

You really had no choice but to nod, tears dripping down your face, surely smearing your makeup, though that was the least of your worries as, suddenly, your bonds shifted, chains pulling taut, changing your position until your legs were wrenched apart.

Panties were rarely part of your work clothing, but being fully bare in front of them right now made bile rise up in your throat.

“See, I wanted to fuck you, remind you who you belong to”, Valentino commented, sounding terribly nonchalant. The muzzle of his gun pressed against the soft skin of your inner thigh, the metal cold. “But Voxxy had better ideas.”

Your heart must have stopped at one point, you were certain of it. This must have been a fever dream, a hallucination.

Despite the panicked thoughts running through your scrambled mind, you didn't protest; had no time to, either. Not that it would have been any use.

Before you knew it, Valentino pushed the gun into you, dry, fuck—, the pain making you cry out, voice high-pitched. Unceremoniously, he shoved it further inside, unrelenting until the hilt of it rested against the lips of your cunt, your whole body tense with agony.

“There we go.” Your eyes flickered over to Vox, the way he was palming himself through his trousers obvious even with your blurry sight. “That's hot. Hah—, look, she's even wet.”

At this point, you hardly noticed that you were screaming, throat aching, the thoughts of running away by now merely an unrealistic fantasy, silly, like the wishes of a spoiled child.

You were, in fact, not wet; instead, blood was easing the glide at least a little, albeit it hardly offered any relief.

You must've torn somewhere. Placing the pain seemed to be an impossible task when simply everything hurt.

At least it wasn't going to get worse from here on — it couldn't possibly.

Valentino just loved to prove you wrong.

“Hey, you think we can fit a dick in there at the same time?”

[deathbxnny]

Anything for Natlan. Everything for Natlan. (Mavuika x GN!Reader)

A/N: As promised, here is the one-shot I spoke about! My health is unfortunately still very bad, but I'm desperate to write something and therefore hope you'll like this guys!<33

Content: Heavy angst, spoilers for the Natlan quest!, vague death of reader, hurt/no comfort, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not proofread))

"So this is it? That's all you have to say?!" You stand on the steps to your once shared home, body trembling from the anger that coursed through you. The moon was high in the stary night sky, which reflected in your tearful eyes Mavuika had to turn away from. She was at a loss for words, unsure if there was even anything more to say. Because there truthfully wasn't. She had made up her mind whether you liked it or not.

"All these years we've spent together, all the promises we've made, this ring-" You held your hand out towards her, and you knew she could imagine it glinting in the moonlight beautifully as it always did. "-did it mean nothing to you? Nothing at all?" She didn't necessarily ever expect you to understand. If anything, she was glad that you were so angry, so enraged. It made things easier.

It made the reality of your situation easier.

She was leaving, planning to reincarnate in about 500 years to save your home from its demise. It was a hard feat, and it didn't mean that it could work out in the end. The world could still end, and the Abyss could still take over Natlan. Everything could have just been for nothing. But she needed to proceed with the plan anyway. It was a risk she was more than ready to take.

But you both knew that by the time she returned, you would be dead. Just like the rest of her family and friends here.

Mortality was beyond her now. She had found a way to cheat death and bring back hope to everyone. Except for you. It would be selfish of her to ask for you to understand, right? You wouldn't, and you couldn't, bare to let her go. You didn't care about tomorrow or the day after it if she wasn't there with you. And what would you do in her absence?

She imagined you slowly withering away as the years went by, sitting on the steps leading to your house whilst you wait for her return. Once you die, you'll search for her in the afterlife, only to realise that she had never even entered it. Would you feel betrayed then, too? You didn't know the extent of her plans. You were no warrior. You were a fleeting simplicity she deeply yearned for but knew she could never have as Natlan's Archon. You were her ultimate sacrifice. The one thing that tethered her to what she once was, to who she once was. To the mortal you married.

When did things go wrong? Why did she have to be the one to take on the burden of an unstoppable war? Why did she have to give up everything so that her friends could continue living their life's with their families? Why couldn't she do the same?

Hanging her head in shame, she heard her own heartbeat pounding in her ears, her breath short and unsteady as the doubts crept in. "I'm sorry. I don't expect you to understand." She finally said, and silence followed. It wasn't good enough. Nothing she told you now would be good enough. "You... mean the world to me." She still didn't turn around. Her heart couldn't let her do so. She'd never leave if she did. "And for that reason, I need to make this sacrifice. Natlan will never be free otherwise... and I'm sure we will meet again one day. Under the stary night, just like the first day we met."

"Many hardships await us from here. But I know you'll make it. You're strong, far stronger than I." She straightened up again, a deep, shaky breath leaving her lips. It was time. "Mavuika! Don't you dare leave me, I can't - " The woman began walking away calmly, her face devoid of any emotion but determination as she relished in the last remnants of your voice. "-I can't live in this world without you, I beg of you to stay damnit! Please don't leave me! Mavuika!" And yet, for some reason, you didn't chase her down. You didn't stop her from leaving. Deep down, you ultimately understood what she was doing. You were always so intelligent, so smart. You were the only one to truly get her. But even that wasn't enough. Your heart belonged to her, and she was willing to toss it in the flames, too.

Mavuika never turned around to face you that night, and you never stopped her either. You were the last person she said her goodbye's too before proceeding with her plans. Her heart wavered for a split moment, but she knew that this was fate calling out to her. This is life. Complex and ruthless as ever. Her emotions and past didn't matter, only what she was willing to sacrifice did.

Centuries later, she found herself beginning to hate hearing that word.

"Oh! We get it... so who is that?" Paimon's voice rang out, cutting through her mind as they stared at a picture of you and her family together, smiles bright and happy, unaware of the doom that would follow you soon. She chuckled at the question, eyes trailing over your face for what felt like the millionth time, and yet she could never get bored of it. If only she could remember what you sounded like...

"That... was my lover. I don't really know what happened to them after I left... but I believe they became a writer." Or at least, that's what she could gather from the small records that were left of you from 500 years ago. You had left your tribe and traveled all over Natlan. Your records and stories were still used by historians and tribesmen alike for retellings. But the only book she was able to get her hands on that proved all of this was the final book you wrote after having returned to your old home.

Paimon and the traveler glanced at each other with a solemn look, not knowing what else to say. The Archon's way to glory was tragic and painful. It was beyond them how someone could give up everything so willingly. And yet they had no time to ponder, as the next part of their to save Kichina plans came up.

Mavuika stayed behind, her hand carefully brushing against the worn-out book, which rested next to picture frame, not needing to open it to read it. She had memorized every sentence, every word, every letter. Sighing to herself, she knew that she'd have to sacrifice the last of you with it. This was all she had left.

But even you, once you reached your late 70s and settled down once more after years of travel, understood the meaning of her sacrifice at last. Walking away from the book and the picture frame, she recited the last paragraph in you ever wrote, deciding to leave her past at that. Guided through your own final words.

"And if Natlan one day can bathe in the scorching sun undisturbed and free from the hate of the Abyss, then I'd say my pain was worth something after all at last. I wasted decades looking for an answer to why you did it, Mavuika, and even now, my heart struggles to understand its loss. But one thing is clear now. One thing that we both knew from the start:

Anything for Natlan.

Everything for Natlan.

And may that never change until the last flickers of the sacred flames burn your heart and warm your face, just like I once did."

[hollowwrites]

The House Cup

Ominis x MC

Summary - The night before The House Cup ceremony, unforeseen circumstances for Ominis and Evelyn back together

I was thinking about the first time Eve and Omi would have slept together. And then I spiralled into a deep sadness that I shall never recover from.

Warnings - Vague depictions of a panic attack, Omi’s past, Nightmares, ANGST OUT THE WAZZOO

Word Count - 4016

~

Everything had become…so exhausting.

Maybe it was her own fault. She had taken on so much voluntarily as well as the whole Keepers, Trails, Ancient Magic…thing.

After Evelyn and Ominis had snatched the relic and Spellbook from Sebastian, they fled, now stuck with two artefacts of immense power they had no hopes of destroying.

Evelyn was in two minds. That relic could help Anne. Could do good. But with Sebastian being the only one with the relevant research and willingness to participate in its ‘Dark Rituals’…it wasn’t an option.

Evelyn barely understood the magic she had, never mind learning an entirely new field of dark magic on top of the ancient magic the was researching practically alone.

Ominis would never participate in such Magic. He remained unwavering in his views despite Sebastian’s constant arguments and nagging ensuring ‘he knew what he was doing’.

Tossing the items into the Room of Requirement seemed the only way.

Anne remained cursed.

Ominis and Evelyn had betrayed their best friend.

Sebastian had ran.

And that act, combined with the sudden flare of goblin activity and movement of Rookwood and Ranrok had created a rift between Ominis and her.

They hadn’t spoken in weeks.

In those weeks, She had unknowingly murdered Rookwood, saved Hogwarts from collapse, maintained an ancient repository and lost…everyone.

Sebastian had been the first. He’d stayed with Anne after they all coerced him into abandoning his fruitless campaign to help Anne. And by the morning, he was gone. No note. No goodbye. Nothing.

Then came Anne. Days went by without Solomon returning from the market and with her curse getting worse and worse, everyone decided it was best to hide her away. From prying eyes and from Sebastian’s potential return. Her anger towards the only family she had left, had turned her into more of a shell than before. And so they bundled her off to Evelyn’s muggle home, so no one knew where she was, and no one could disturb her. Except Ominis…

Then he left too. He had kept himself busy, Evelyn assumed to keep the reality of everything from setting in. But it meant he had no time for her. After classes he’d immediately go to Anne, help her with whatever she needed and come back to Hogwarts, usually with just enough time to squeeze in some sleep and start the process over.

And of course, Fig. His support during all of this has been fundamental to Evelyn’s sanity. If she had not had him…she would’ve lost her mind months ago. And for him to die so…unceremoniously…her heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces. The sight of him clutching his wife’s wand to his chest would forever be seared into her brain.

“You’re in my spot…” a familiar posh and proper voice sounded from behind her. The barest attempt at humour in his tone.

And she was too exhausted to even react. So his words just fell upon deaf ears, but the words left his mouth with an unsavoury taste. Ominis flinched at her lack of reaction. If his wand hadn’t told him she was stood there, and he couldn’t hear the slow beat of her heart, he would think perhaps he’d made a mistake and she wasn’t there.

But she was…

She just stared out into the water, watching the streams of bubbles stream up around the windows. It seemed fitting he would find her here, where she first met him.

“Evelyn…” Ominis added, his voice even softer and lower with the first utterance of her name.

“Hmm…” Evelyn muttered as though he’d woken her from a trance. She turned to him, offering a polite smile she quickly realised he couldn’t see. Surely it hadn’t been so long she’d forgotten he was blind? The thought itself caused a lump to rise in her throat and she turned back away, unable to stand looking at the stranger in front of her.

It wasn’t an entirely harsh assessment. He looked nothing like the person she met at the beginning of the year.

The circles under his eyes were much darker than before. They always lingered but now they looked more like bruises than normal. As he approached her, she noticed he was in his pyjamas, a dark green robe pulled around him. And though she’d never seen him in his night attire before, she could tell even that wasn’t its norm. It was crumpled and creased, like he’d been tossing and turning.

“Can’t sleep?” He asked softly, taking a step closer to her in the alcove.

“Not really…” she replied flatly, absolutely no emotion in her tone, whatsoever.

“Me neither…” she saw from the corner of her eye, his tentative step to her side and she immediately craved his attention. His embrace. His warmth.

Her arm twitched towards him as though she wasn’t in control of her own body, and so she wrapped her arms around herself. In both restraint and comfort.

“Evelyn…” Ominis started, his tone soft and heavy. She turned slightly in his direction, keeping her head low still unwilling to address the distance that was now between them. “I know we had a bit…of a rocky start…” Ominis went silent again. He gazed off ahead, visibly thinking about what he was going to say.

Then she laughed, exhaling humourlessly “Mountainous…”

“It did have its peaks and valleys…” Ominis smiled lopsidedly

“The peaks were good though…” she muttered quietly, thinking back over her first year at Hogwarts.

It had been…awful. As a whole. But the person behind her and supporting her at every single low…was Ominis.

Ominis turned his head towards her and lifted his head so his eyes were no longer facing forward. His brow raised, and his lips curved upwards.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

A silence fell over the two of them as they occupied the alcove together. It wasn’t at all awkward like she assumed it would be. His presence, as it always had been, was calming and soothing. And she found herself leaning towards him.

His wand must have informed him of the not-so-subtle movement and his arm snaked around her shoulders, bringing her into the crook of his arm.

Their routine fell quickly back into place and she nuzzled into his chest, both of them finding the comfort the past few weeks had denied them.

She turned into him, sighing “Have…” she started before cutting herself off. Perhaps now wasn’t the time…

Ominis turned his head down towards her, smoothing the hair of her head down to rest his chin upon it. “…Have?” He prompted, noticing her trail off.

“Have you heard from Sebastian?” She asked quietly, aware that bringing him up could cause the rift to open back up between them.

“No…” he said, his voice sounding a little more harsh than it had been before, his arm tightening around her.

He hadn’t meant it as brutal as it came out, his own selfish worries muddying his tone.

He’d spent every summer whilst attending Hogwarts, at the Sallow residence. And with Anne now living with Evelyn and Sebastian absent, he would have no choice but to go back home.

He couldn’t ask Evelyn. She had enough with taking care of Anne. It would be beyond selfish to inflict himself upon her too. But every fibre of his being called out to stay with her. Anything but go back…

Back home to the family who neglected and left him to his own devices.

Back home to the parents that would’ve no doubt heard about this years antics.

Back to a house he had to call home.

His fingers dug into the flesh of Eves arm as his stomach dropped. His arms brought her closer to his chest, the pressure around her becoming less comforting and more…possessive.

“You’re worried about Sebastian…” she stated, unknowing just how wrong she was. He did care for his friend, he did.

But that family…

That house…

He felt a throbbing in his head. A reminder of the lack of sleep he now suffered, thinking about going back there. The nightmares that plagued his sleep each night since the realisation he had to return.

“Yes…” he lied, the guilt eating at him.

“We’ll find him.” She mumbled and pulled away from him slightly. He felt her breath against his chin, indicating she was looking up at him.

She was so small. So vulnerable. So why did he want her to save him?

“Come on…let’s try and get some sleep”

“No!” He barked releasing her completely and taking a step back. “No…no I can’t…” he spoke with a slightly more level tone, though the panic was clear.

“Are you- Ominis…are you okay?” She asked softly. He would tell her right? Their friendship hadn’t devolved that much, had it?

But as he stammered and stumbled over his words, his breath becoming ragged and heavy, she realised…it had.

“You can still talk to me…Ominis” she said quietly “I know a lot has happened this year but-“

“It’s not…” his eyes screwed up as though he were seeing something he wanted to get rid of. Wanted to push deep down. He sighed heavily “…it’s not you. I…Has Sebastian ever told you about the nightmares I used to have?”

“No…are they back?” Immediately she was back at his side, a comforting hand at his elbow and a sympathetic tone.

Ominis simply chuckled…

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you. Told you everything else about me” a dry almost bitter smirk pulled at his lips before it instantly faded.

He shouldn’t mock a ‘friend’ whose current absense was partially his fault.

“…they are. I’ve been…struggling to sleep again” his head lowered slightly in shame “Sebastian, he…he was a great help back in first year…”

Evelyn hadn’t seen Ominis like this before. She’d seen him angry, disappointed, happy. She’d even seen him sad but this was…different. There was a wistful way about him, like he reminiscing but it…hurt him. He choked out a laugh and shook his head.

“I shouldn’t keep you…if you want to sleep then you shoul-“

“What did he do?” She interrupted, grabbing his elbow as he tried to move away from her. “To help you…What did Sebastian do?”

“Nothing. He would just…be there. Any time I woke up, screaming, sweating…his voice was the first I’d hear. If it even got that far…” Ominis laughed as a memory resurfaced “…sometimes he said he could hear when I was in a nightmare. He used to stay up reading late even before Anne was cursed so if he heard it before I woke up, he’d climb into bed with me and just…lay there. Bit of a shock the first time but…”

That same wistful sadness took over his features again.

“…It was grounding. Having a presence there.” Ominis concluded with a sigh.

There was a silence between them that stretched in for eternity whilst Evelyn contemplated saying what she wanted to…

“I could stay with you…if you think that would help” she offered delicately.

“I can’t ask that of you. I-it would be improper…” Ominis fumbled over his words. Thoughts of Evelyn replacing Sebastian in his mind sent him reeling.

Her body laying next to him.

Her heat warming his side.

Her fingers tapping gently on his shoulder.

“If you’re worried about my virtue, you needn’t…” she laughed softly “…I simply meant you could sleep on one of the sofas, I’ll sleep on the floor. And if you need me, then I’m right there…”

Ominis couldn’t believe his ears. How easily she had agreed to this, she would definitely house him over the summer. He just had to ask…

…but he couldn’t. That was selfish and she had enough to deal with.

He’d personally cared for Anne over the past few weeks. He knew how difficult it was, mainly due to How she would be doing it alone. Because there is no way once his mother had her claws in him she would let him go before term starts again.

He gulped once more…

“We could try…though I will sleep on the floor” Ominis bargained, a charming smile tugging at his lips, lopsided and definitely tinged with apprehension.

“Always the gentleman…” her voice was accompanied by a gentle hand on his chest. Her touch equally as soft as her voice. He could feel it lulling him to sleep even now, stood perfectly upright in the cold alcoved window. Her hand drifted away and he felt her move towards the couches a little further into the Common Room. The sounds of blankets softly thumping to the ground and pillows being plumped filled his ears, along with the steady snap and crackle of the ever-burning fire.

“Not all the time…” he smirked, settling into the little nest she had built for him. As he sat, padding and preening at the surprisingly comfortable floor he could feel her inches away, doing the exact same on the hard cushioned sofa. “But for you? Always”

Evelyn tried to suppress the blush she felt in her cheeks, failing miserably. Not that it mattered, he couldn’t see it anyway. But he chuckled like he could…

“Goodnight, Ominis” she whispered, propped up on her arms, watching as he lay back against the cushions and ‘stared’ up at the ceiling, unblinking.

“I’m right here…” she added, allowing her arm to fall out of the blankets she’d tucked around herself. Her hand found his and give him a single squeeze.

She’d planned to leave it at that. A simple gesture that she wasn’t going anywhere.

But his knuckled turned white as he return the gesture.

And the pressure steadily increased around her fingers. Until she ran her thumb along the back of his hand. Then it stilled.

“Goodnight…Evie”

-

Evelyn fell asleep relatively quickly, his hand becoming a comforting gesture after the initial possessive grasp.

Ominis, however, lay in silence and darkness. Terrified of what awaited him when his body eventually succumbed to fatigue.

He’d released her hand quite a few minutes ago. A decision he’d made hastily when he heard her whimper softly in her sleep and her hand twitched back towards her body.

He regretted that decision.

Because though he could hear her steady breathing above him…it wasn’t enough. He’s grown far too accustomed to her touch and he’d gone without it for weeks now.

With a heavy sigh, he sat up…

…and was immediately greeted with her hand hovering static above him,

Her fingers brushed against his face as he collided with it. He was startled for a second. Till he smelt the rose perfume upon her wrist, faint and worn with the late hour. But unmistakably…her

Those same finger twitched against his cheek as she woke with a start.

“You okay?” She muttered somewhat breathless and sleepily.

“Yes…” he exhaled “…I was just trying to get more comfortable”

“Hmmm” - was all she replied with, her hand finding his again as he continued to sit up.

This was better. They were the same level.

He just needed her…closer.

So he sat up, wrapped the blanket around his legs and leant against the arm of the couch. The same arm that, Evelyn rest her head upon. He could feel her warm breath against his neck as she slipped easily back into her slumber. If he turned his head slightly, the tiny sighs that left her ghosted his cheek.

And that consistent soothing flow and her warm fingers tangled with his was enough to tip him over the edge.

His eyes grew too heavy to fight against.

And he found himself confronted with…dreamless sleep.

-

The next day brought the end of year. And with it, The House Cup ceremony.

There was a distinct air of misery as everyone filtered into the Great Hall.

With Evelyn and Ominis sleeping side by side, they spent the morning together, neither willing or wanting to be alone.

So when they took their seat with the other fifth years on Slytherins table, the tension was palpable. Further down the table the first years chatted happily, discussing who gained the most points for the House and if it would be enough for them to win.

In stark contrast, where they were sat was sombre.

Obviously, Ominis and Evelyn were miserable. That was almost a given with these last few months.

But Imelda also sat stoic and unsmiling. She’d gotten quite close with Evelyn, sharing a dorm with her, the time trials, listening to her problems. And despite what many would say about Imelda, she was surprisingly empathic. Not in the usual way of caring and consideration. Instead she got angry for Evelyn.

She didn’t know the full extent of Sebastian’s absence, just that it’s hurt Evelyn exponentially, at a time when she least needed it. And it wasn’t like her and Sebastian were completely strangers. In third year, he was positively ecstatic about Quidditch. They’d bonded over their shared enthusiasm for the sport and gotten close.

But as with everything else, Anne’s curse made it all come crumbling down.

So if Imelda wasn’t having a good time…no one was.

The potent mix of Ominis’ blank expressionless stare and Imelda’s fury meant no fun was to be had at the Slytherin table.

That was only further reinforced when the illustrious Headmaster decided to address everyone.

“This year we have seen our students exemplify the bravery of Godric Gryffindor-“

A chorus of cheers and hollers cut the Headmaster off before he even had the chance to start. Above them all, Evelyn could hear Garreth shouting over everyone else. His enthusiasm bought a reluctant smile to her face and when she looked over the far table, she saw him stood, banging the table in jubilation. Professor Weasley shook her head, but a distinct amused smirk graced her lips.

“Allow me to finish!” The Headmaster snapped, though the cheers didn’t die down. They only grew worse as each house joined from their respective founder…

“- The Loyalty of Helga Hufflepuff - ”

A chorus of cheers from the Hufflepuffs added to the Gryffindors.

“- The Wisdom of Rowena Ravenclaw - ”

A respectful cluster of claps joined the other two

“- and The Ambition of Salazar Slytherin - ”

…and nothing. Though the boastful tone Headmaster Black took on carried the pride of the entirity of Slytherin. A small group of first year clapped excitedly. But no one else did. The collective misery of the table spreading quickly.

And Evelyn saw Ominis tense up, just in front of him. He turned himself away from the pedestal, Evelyn just catching the way his eyes rolled in exasperation.

“And so the winner of this years’s house cup…” The pride in the Headmasters voice already strongly suggested who the winner was…

“Excuse me, Headmaster” Professor Weasley interrupted, earning a derisory sneer from Black. “If I may: one particular students heroism during the attack in Hogwarts, not to mention the level to which they have excelled in their coursework, as a new student no less-“

Evelyn could feel eyes on her from all around her, boring into the back of her head. She instinctively leaned towards Ominis, hoping his natural ability to repel unwanted attention would extend to her.

It didn’t…

“Well it would seem that it certainly merits, I’d say, 100 points to their house? - wouldn’t you agree?”

“Ah. Yes, thank you, Professor Weasley”

“I suppose we have our winner” Black announced heartily as the banners above them fluttered to a deep emerald green.

And despite the other houses losing, they all cheered…for her.

Garreth was the first at her side, his hands wrapping around her waist and hoisting her off the bench. He squeezed, tickling her side slightly, earning a forced giggled from deep in her chest.

Poppy was next. Her hands clasped Evelyn’s forearms and she spun them around before embracing her.

Then Amit, and Natty, then Lucan and soon the other tables were empty and the Slytherins were engulfed by every other student.

In the busy hubbub, Evelyn had lost her bearings. She turned to find Ominis, to celebrate, to ground herself, to have an excuse to leave.

But he was gone. Seat empty and no sign of him at all.

It was only when she spun around in desperation did she see the slightly messier than usual mop of blonde hair leaving the Great Hall.

She made her excuses to those who clung to her, but mostly she just pushed through the crowd.

She had to see him.

-

From a distance everything seemed fine.

Ominis, for once, stood tall between the giant House hourglasses.

It was only as Evelyn got closer could she hear the irregular and ragged breath that left him in short sharp bursts.

“Ominis…” she called softly

“Sebastian is the poster child for Slytherin” he snapped seemingly out of no where

“Ambition. Pride…that was his downfall. And they’re celebrating it” he whipped around quickly gesturing wildly in the direction of the Great Hall. His chest heaved wildly. She’d only ever seen him like this when they confronted Sebastian.

“It’s okay…” Evelyn soothed “…they’re just children. They don’t know what they’re celebrating”

“It’s Black!” Ominis shouted “You heard how he delighted at the notion of Slytherin winning. The Pride in his voice.”

Ominis scoffed and began pacing along the hourglasses, his hands shaking.

“You are so loved…” he breathed, coming to a stop once more in front of her “…More so than anyone else in Hogwarts. And I’m happy for you…”

“But…” she finished for him, a single laugh leaving his lips as he shook his head.

“…It just feels as though…anything Slytherin touches…gets ruined. Except you. And I’m terrified that the thing that will ruin you…is just…waiting…”

She was such a positive force for good.

A Muggle-Born Slytherin.

Not prideful or boastful. Just cunning and quick, using those things for good, not the continuation of generation long prejudices.

She was good.

And he didn’t want her spoiled.

What if she was?

What if it was him?

He spiralled, the only thing he could hear and focus on was his own ragged breath in his ears.

Until her tiny delicate hand reached his chest, his heartbeat thundering against her fingertips.

“Shhhh…” Evelyn hummed “…you’re good. And I have you…”

“I am not good, Evelyn. That blood…it sits within me waiting. I’ve done awful things and sometimes it feels like it’s only a matter of time”

Evelyn’s jaw tightened and her brows furrowed. Though he can’t see the anger he has caused in her, he would certainly feel it.

She gripped his face, possibly harsher than she should have and forced him towards her. After she stared into his sightless translucent eyes she realised the action was fruitless. He couldn’t see how adamant she was. But he would feel it.

“You. Are. Good” she muttered through her teeth.

It’s like she knew he was going back to his family. She didn’t. He hadn’t told her. She had enough to deal with…

“Evelyn…” he started

“No!” She released his face with a huff, and smacked his chest with an open palm “No. You are good. You have helped me so much this year…you have done so much, you…”

She sighed.

His face remained unchanging whilst he listened to her pleas. And though he didn’t believe what she said her conviction broke through to him and he found the weight on his chest alleviate slightly.

“Can we…please…” her tone was pleading as she continued to beg, her forehead pressed to his chest “…please…just have one last day like it used to be? Before I have to go back to a home that has no magic”

He couldn’t do this.

There was no way he could go six weeks without her. No contact at all.

Let me help you

Let me stay

Let me be another burden

He swallowed down every thought that rose into his mind, his throat bobbing as he gulped.

“Of course we can” Ominis whispered into her hair, his arms wrapping around her middle and pulling her tightly to him.

Maybe he could stay like this.

And just never let her go.

Masterlist

[okkottsus]

I usually dont mind ppl having different interpretations of characters and relationships, but this is just an insult to my boy’s character and his connection to nagi.

Reo may have developed an interest in nagi bc of his talent (and i find the notion of him doing the same thing he hated his family for at the start very interesting btw), but since then he obviously has developed an emotional attachment, and to him, it has to be nagi. he’s met people with even more skill than him in blk but he still hasnt spared them a 1/100 of the attention he gives to his best friend.

ofc i think it was important for them to improve on their own and maybe it was premature of him to go back to devoting himself to nagi so quickly, but i truly believe its bc he understood nagi’s perspective since he “abandoned him” and his true intentions.

the difference in their perspectives is very clear even before they enter blue lock:

at that point winning the world cup was just reo’s dream but even then, to reo, the most important thing was for them to be together until the end (nagi was the one who made him promise that would be the case too !!) , while nagi was content with just going along with him bc he started caring abt him as a person

until they lost to isagi’s team. from that moment, he decided (and was right imo) that they need to do whatever they can, even if they have to take separate paths for some time, to get stronger.

and nagi didnt “lose sight of their og goal” what are they talking about?? nagi literally mentions/thinks about their dream to be the best together every chance he gets?? he even got mad at reo cause he thought his friend was the one who forgot about their dream. he thought he was taking the vital steps to make it a reality and was frustrated reo couldnt see that:

reo felt betrayed because he cared about nagi himself as much as he cared about their dream and thought that nagi used him as a stepping stone to move forward alone, when actually it would be more accurate to say that nagi views everyone except for reo as a stepping stone. (i dont blame reo for this, since even tho nagi tried to communicate that hes doing it for them, he did a terrible job of it).

but during their latest talk reo had already worked on himself and had acknowledged the fact that he was in the wrong for assuming that them being together no matter the cost was the right thing

so when nagi approached him and explained himself a little better this time (boy was shocked when he realised how reo took their separation and put in a little bit more effort lol)

reo finally understood how their desires intertwine now. how can people claim that reo sees nagi as a tool when its more of the other way around; meaning reo sees himself as a tool for making nagi the best striker in the world and he already declared that to Ego before:

and again now:

plus saying that he and nagi arent friends and they are just using each other is so out of touch with everything we’ve seen so far. reo’s devotion to nagi aside, nagi too cares for reo a lot outside of soccer. even after he left reo, he still got excited to see him and talk to him despite everything; to him it was obvious they would continue to interact no matter which team each of them was on:

and he also felt bad for hurting him and expressed the hope that he would forgive him

the only thing that i wish would happen now is for nagi to apologise to reo face to face instead of only doing it in his own thoughts, and for reo to also talk about why he was hurt. but i feel like they understood each other either way without many words, because in the end, their bond is just that strong.

they now both want to succeed more than they ever have before and have stopped being their complacent selves we met during the first selection. they are both thinking far into the future and not just within blue lock, so whether they keep moving forward together or separated from now on, it will be knowing they are working towards their shared dream.

[sophietv]

Hi, I'm relatively new to the whole Gaylor/Kaylor/LSK universe so I'm sorry if this is a silly ask! But I'm curious to hear your thoughts on theory of Kaylor "breaking up" in 2019/20 which potentially caused folklore/evermore (both albums contain some very heartbreaking songs and feel influenced by the reality of Taylor's life at the time) and then the rumour of William Bowery being Karlie? I don't buy the whole Joe being WB so then it leaves me wondering if Karlie is indeed WB where does the break up fit in, if at all?

Also just wanted to say thank you so much for all the analysis posts and threads you do both on here and Twitter! Appreciate it very much!

Hi!

This is not a silly question at all!

In fact it is exactly THE Kaylor question of all.

And to answer this questions is really complex, because there's just soooo much.

I'm so sorry, because this is gonna be a VERY long answer...

About the "Breakup"

I personnally go back and forth as to know if they really broke up or not in 2019.

Either way, it was not for long. I think max a couple of weeks/months.

It's really difficult too, to point out exactly where this would have happened.

But if I have to guess, I would say that they might have broken up/taken a break, toward the month of August 2019 and most probably got back together toward Octobre/Novembre 2019.

What makes me think that?

Taylor when she explains the song Betty during the concert. When she points out where the event happened, she always say during the month of August.

The song August, from the teenage love triangle. The fact that she chose to name the song this. Betty is Karlie and James is Taylor. August is what happened that is "the worst thing that I ever did, is what I did to you".

In Septembre 2019, Taylor did the BBC1 performance and the Lover In Paris Concert. Both were really a shift in the Lover Era aesthetic and presentation. She wore all black, sung mostly accoustic versions, surprise songs and covers were break up songs and she looked devastated while doing this.

What makes me think they got back together then:

Back in Novembre, Taylor sarted flagging Karlie heavily again, and Karlie did the same. And honnestly, once you notice everything they did since then, it's really the only proof you need. (I will do, or try to do an extensive post on all the flagging that went on after the Lover Era, because there's just so much. (Hopefully I'll have time to do it tonight).

In the teenage love triangle, the most important part is that in the end, in Cardigan, James goes back to Betty and they end up together.

Betty is not the only song that Taylor did about that precise moment. Talking about "betraying" Karlie in some way. Long Story Short also talks about this. And ends up with Taylor going back to the person that she "betrayed".

In a Fearless (Taylor's Version) interview, Taylor talks about how her Vault Track songs haven't changed much since the moment she wrote them. Except for That's When, where she said that she changed it to be a duo. Because before she never experienced having doubt about a relationship and saying to the other person that she needed space and time and that the other person granted her this. She said that the other person saying that it's ok and being willing to give her time and space to figure herself out is what made her realise that she really wanted to be with that person. I think that this interview is SO important to all the LSK interpretation afterward. Here's the link to that interview:

5. Then you also have The Great War that is like the ultimate confirmation that whatever happened back in 2019 is behind them and that they are together now.

Here's a post I did about this: (X)

But yeah, I think the most important part of all this, is the flagging that they did and keep doing. It's just insane how much they both flags each other and at this point there's just too much Koincidences to pretend tha it's accidental.

About Folklore and Evermore:

You are totally right when you say that both those albums are incredibly sad with a lot of hearbreaking songs.

And it's true that at first, it's really hard to listen to them and not think that they broke up for sure.

But when you sit with them for a bit and listen to what Taylor had to say about the songs in those albums. Especially during the Long Pond Studio Session, you realise that yes those albums are incredibly sad and talk about betrayal, grief, depression etc. But the story that Folklore and Evermore tell is not a story about a breakup. And to understand that, it's important to take into consideration that during that time, Taylor was going though soooo much. More than anyone should go through in their entire life. And it was more than enough, without a breakup on top, for her to be heartbroken like she seemed to be during those eras:

Wanting to come out and not being able to.

Being accused of queerbaiting by the medias because you wanted to come out and was not able to. (It really looked at some point like going back to 2016...)

Being betrayed by someone that you thought was a parental figure.

Losing 13 years of hard work, and not being able anymore to do what you want with things that YOU made.

Having your tour cancelled.

Covid and not knowing if you'll ever be able to do what you love again.

Her mother's heath.

So yeah... this was sooo much and she showed so much resillience and strenght. But I think it was more than enough to warrant looking heartbroken like she did and writting heartbreak albums. Without on top of it all, breaking up with the love of her life (wich might have happened too during a small period of time...).

I will try really hard to not do a whole album analysis here, but just point out some things, because if I do, my post is never gonna end... (edit: I failed...kind of)

Folklore:

Betty, August and Cardigan:

Like I said before, this trio tells a story of making a mistake and breaking someone's heart while doing so. But ultimately coming back to the person.

Exile:

Taylor said that this was meant to represent a fight between two lovers that were not able to just listen to the other person. They are both trying to explain themselves but both are talking over each other and in the end are not able to find common ground.

(something like that, it's been a while since I've watched the LPSS)

And this narrative fits really well with The Great War, Long Story Short and even Betty, misscommunication that led her to believe that she was somewhat betrayed and to react accordingly.

But all those songs have also in common that the two persons end up together in the end.

Illicit Affairs:

The general concensus on this song is that it is about cheating.

But the meaning of the word Illicit Affair is actually: Not allowed by law OR CUSTOMS in a country.

So I think this song is her expressing how keeping her relationship a secret is hard and taxing on her.

But she still ends up the song saying that she would still do it a million times over for this person.

Hoax:

I think this one is the most important to listen closely to Taylor's and Aaron's explanations:

Aaron:

"There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

Taylor:

"Love that isn't just easy"

"What if I'm writing about very fractured situations? Love, a business thing that really hurt and a relationship I considered like family" " I think the part that sounds like love to me is : "Don't want no other shade of blue but you, no other sadness in the world would do" To me that sounds like what love really IS. WHO would you be sad WITH? And WHO would you deal WITH when they were sad? Grey skies everyday for months. Would you still stay?

So Taylor is saying that Hoax is not about a breakup but about facing hard times in a relationship and being there for the other, when the person is not in a good place mentally. This ties back to This Is Me Trying too.

Peace:

Taylor explained it well in the LPSS but also in her Rolling Stone interview with Paul McCartney.

How it's about being in relationship and being scared that what you have to offer is not enough because you can't give your partner a normal life like you would like.

But she also say that she's able to achieve feeling like her life is a real life by keeping her relationship private.

She also said in that interview that while writting Folklore: "I was making Folklore, I went lyrically in a total direction of escapism and romanticism. And I wrote songs imagining I was, like, a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair [laughs]. I was completely …"

Wich is the exact definition of their relationship since 2016.

See my Love Blackout post: (X)

I highly recommend to go read that interview, especially that part about Peace, because it's really telling. As well as the conversation they have about having children... (X)

Invisible String:

This is purely a love song.

And talks about how Taylor and Karlie had so many things tying them together even when they didn't even knew each other.

It ties back to "Your past and mine are parallel lines" from All Of The Girls.

And there's A LOT of parallel lines.

Here's a post if you are interested: (X)

The Lakes:

This one is probably the most telling song of the Album.

It talks about running away with your lover.

And in the song she says: "a red rose grew up, out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it".

Red Rose signify love.

So she is singing about her struggle with how her celebrity makes everything complicated and all that she wants to do is run away... but not without her muse.

And it's really loudly about Karlie. Here's a post (X)

My Tears Ricochet:

This one to me screams about a betrayal by a parental figure.

And I feel like it's really loudly about Scott.

"'Cause when I'd fight you used to tell me I was brave"

"And when you can't sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies"

"Wishing I'd stay"

"And your tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years"

So yeah, it really feels like her talking to Scott about him selling her masters to Scooter.

Although her explanation of the song is that it's like going through a divorce and knowing exactly what to say to the other person to hurt them badly.

But it still really feels to me, like she is talking about Scot.

About being betrayed by your boss that you thought was family.

Ok that was a looong analysis. Again sorry, my post is gonna be a whole novel...

Evermore:

Champagne Problems and Coney Island:

She is still talking about feeling like she let down Karlie by being unable to put her first. Wich can lead back to whatever happened toward August in 2019.

Long Story Short:

It's the equivalent of The Great War of Midnights or the teenage love triangle of Folklore.

Going through a though time and thinking that you have somewhat been betrayed.

Being blinded by your emotions.

And realising that you got it wrong all along.

And ending up with your lover in the end.

Willow, Ivy and Dorothea are all love songs.

Evermore:

Is reminescing on what happened in 2019 and how over time she healed from it.

And the important part is that by the end you learn that her lover was by her and helped her through it.

Closure, Hapiness and Gold Rush:

Those ones are breakup songs, and could refer to the breakup in 2019. (although the 7 years in heaven in Hapiness doesn't quite fit).

But the interesting part about Evermore is that I think it was meant to give you the impression that they were not together anymore.

It was released when Karlie was pregnant with Levi.

Furthermore, It's Time To Go and Right Where You Left Me where released in January 2021 not long before Karlie gave birth.

And those song sserved as a big distraction because it got most Swifties to really think that Karlie betrayed Taylor and that they were not friends anymore.

And most gaylors to think that Karlie really broke Taylor's heart. Wich is kind of interesting when you look at all the other breakup songs beside Right Where You Left Me, Taylor seems to always feel responsible for the breakup and hurting Karlie. Except this one. But it's also the most clear breakup song of all of them.

So yeah, I do suspect that the album and mostly the deluxe version was meant to serve as a distraction to protect them and their child, and give Taylor the opportunity to really try to give Karlie a "normal" relationship out of the public eyes like she described in Peace.

Karlie as William Bowery:

Yes I do think that Karlie is William Bowery and I did a thread on Twitter about this (X)

So yeah.... here's my very very long post about why I think Karlie and Taylor are still together and what I think of Folkmore.

Sorry for the novel 😅

Thanks for sending me your questions! I hope I was able to help you understand a little bit better.

If you haven't had enough yet of me talking about my interpretations... Here's some more posts I did about them flagging after 2019 (X) (X) (X) (X)(X)

And those two are more about the babies: (X) (X)

[delusionalblfan]

i always have something to say to Way and the 10th episode is no exception. you stupid frail depiction of human being. you deceitful animal. you… how dare you being hurt by Babe's words? how dare you sound surprised that he is accusing you? does he think you could hurt someone he loves? news to you: YES! it's called trust issues after someone you love betrays you for years. it's called losing hope on someone. it's called descending to earth and face the realities of ones life. you were for TEN FUCKING YEARS what Babe considered the only friend he had! and what? you lied during that amount of time because in your own fucked up world you thought you would be of immense help if you seduced him or just fucked him so you could have kids and Tony would leave you all alone. in your fucked up world Babe was yours because 'i was here first'. grow up. and not for a second you told him you were in Tony's life too. i believe you heard stories from Babe's mouth on how Tony made this and that. and Babe was trusting you these information and you still did and said nothing. he could have protected you too. he would understand you. he would help you. but no, you still decided to keep deceiving. and shut up about the 'for your own good', it's not, it is for yours. to the point of trying to sa him! that is not fitting into the 'i could never hurt my own family'. what a moron. just… i know the end you have in the novel, my advise is for you so seek a new life and happiness somewhere else. please. go far away. be alive. and build your own better self. free of that self-pitying shit and delusion you are building based on a love you thought you had for someone and realise the piece of shit you are and stop being it

[wyyvernn]

Aki - Najusyram - Arthael - Sylus - Yandere Headcanons

✧･ﾟ: Masterlist :･ﾟ✧

°•*⁀➷ I know I've done yandere headcanons for Arthael before but I feel like I didn't do them properly so think of his as a part 2 for him?

Tags: @kiasnocturnality @forestofmonsters - tell me if you wanna be tagged in these too! ✦

- There's an unspoken fear in your mind that has always interrupted your innocent thoughts - an understanding that Najusyram could always switch, that if he was pushed far enough, that if you poked the bear hard enough, he could keep you exactly where he wants you.

- Except he won't, because he knows you don't have it in you to run. Sometimes you forget that he has the ability to read the intentions of others and he has most definitely read yours.

- Sometimes he slithers behind you in the middle of these thoughts, scaled arms sliding around your waist and fitting there all perfectly. His little human tucked against his chest and suddenly feeling vulnerable in that moment.

- He can feel the way your frame goes rigid, how your breath hitches in your throat, and how you shiver not just because of his cold touch but out of sheer fear.

- Goosebumps appear on your skin in long, bumpy patterns. There's trails of them along your arms and legs when Naju presses his cool lips to your neck and brings you closer into his embrace. Innocent and tender the affection might be, you know that there's something more ominous beneath it all.

- In an alternate reality if you rejected him long ago, he makes it his goal to make you his at all costs. He captures you and keeps you locked away in his cave but assures you that he's doing it for your own good, for your own safety. He cooks wonderful meals for you, takes care of your wellbeing, provides for your needs without question. For everything he's done for you, he wonders why you would even want to leave.

- Sylus is immediately crafting a scheme when he first sets his sights on his future S/O. He has a suave way with words and a dangerous charm. It's so easy for him to win you over to his side.

- But if he doesn't he can always shift into his dragon form and carry you to his lair where he'll keep you hundreds of metres up high and away from others. That way you can't escape even if you wanted to.

- He mocks your attempts to leave, laughs at them even. Sometimes he entertains himself by dragging you towards the entrance. His large hands grip your shoulders, his bare chest pressing against your back as he holds you over the edge of the cliff and taunts you, his words daring you to jump if you would rather be without him.

- He feels nothing but satisfaction when you dart around and embrace him, your face finding the crook of his neck and your hands clutching onto his broad frame for dear life as he urges you back inside his lair. Your tears trigger his pity, if only for a moment.

- While he can be cruel, Sylus is not unfair and only asks that you return his affections. He wants nothing more than your love and will take care of you if it means he'll get it. Shun him and he has ways of convincing you to give him what he wants. Insult him? Dangling you over a cliff is just a fraction of what he could do.

- Showing him a bit of familiarity by simply calling his name is an easy way to build his trust. He loves when you say it, delights in it even more when he learns that you're finally coming around when you start sweetening your words with kisses to his cheek.

- Aki feels betrayed when you tell him that you no longer love him. He doesn't believe it. He can't believe it.

- Constantly questions if he did something wrong. If he did, he can fix it! He can do better, be better all for you!

- When he finally accepts that you're done with him, he realises that he's not done with you. He enchants the entire forest with a spell, making every possible exit blocked by a hidden barrier. That way you'll only be able to see beyond the forest but not leave it entirely. It's a cruel fate that Aki teases you with.

- But at least you have him. Your loyal fox spirit who just wishes you would cuddle in his arms like old times. Sometimes he would appear by your side behind the barrier and gaze fondly over the trees and the village that you used to love wandering through. That can still happen! If you don't abuse his trust...

- Unlike the others, Aki is sorry for keeping you hidden from the world, for taking away your freedom. He takes pity on you more than he actually shows his love and he hates, hates how you no longer smile or laugh that he considers letting you go if it brings joy to your lips once more.

- Yet, his fear for your safety is stronger than your longing for freedom and it seems that Aki would rather bear the sight of your sorrow a thousand times over than the happiness of your freedom.

- Arthael's interest in you stays strictly professional and doesn't expand beyond your master-apprentice relationship until awhile later. Until one day his fingertips burn when they touch you. A gentle nudge to your shoulder has him recoiling suddenly for a moment, his eyes narrowing in a mixture of confusion and something like annoyance because he can't identify what's taking place presently.

- Immediately starts questioning if there's something wrong with him. But that can't be, he would've detected it awhile ago. So then, it must be you. What are you to have his mind raging like this?

- You may be more intimidating than you present yourself to be and he just can't resist having you near him all the time. It starts with limiting the places you go. He has no issues with you being around his servants, he trusts them enough to make sure you don't get up to no good. Soon those who attempt to commission you for your magical services are turned away by the master of the manor.

- You no longer perform duties for the public, Arthael insists that you should be training more and it frustrates you because you were earning your own wage but he's quick to dismiss your concerns, telling you that you're already well taken care of and you should be focusing on your studies.

- While not as affectionate as the others, Arthael will take anything you have to offer. Although, he's not used to affection of any sort so it will take him awhile to reciprocate anything in return. That is if you even want to pursue anything with him. Otherwise, even if you're angry about being kept as a captive and you try to escape, he will simply cast a spell over his manor to prevent that outcome.

[murmel-malt]

How was Daera’s relationship with her grandparents? She would’ve been 16 and 19 when Aly and Jae died, respectively. How close was she with Baelon? Was she more like him or Alyssa or barely resembled her parents (in both appearance and character)? Was she close to Gael? How did she take her death?

answers are under the cut because this took much more words than expected. and thank you for the ask anon! ❤️

How close was she with Baelon? Was she more like him or Alyssa or barely resembled her parents (in both appearance and character)?

While Daera hasn’t taken much after Alyssa in looks, except for her green eyes and a more golden than silver sheen to her hair, she does share her mother’s willful, stubborn and spirited nature; but different to her very much enjoys the lady-like activities her mother had reportedly shunned.

Baelon, like Alysanne, doted on and was very protective of her as a response to Alyssa and Aegon’s death and up until her betrothal to Viserys they were very close.

How was Daera’s relationship with her grandparents?

Before Jaehaerys decided that she would wed Viserys, her relationship with her grandparents was pretty good. Daera adored the attention and adoration she received from Alysanne and while Jaehaerys was always a bit scary and didn’t spend much time with her, she liked him well enough.

However after the decision for her marriage was made, these relationships quickly deteriorated. Daera felt extremely betrayed by both her father and grandmother for not doing anything to help her when she made it clear that she had no interest in marrying her brother and many of Alysanne’s efforts (like delaying the first bedding as much as possible) went unrecognised as a result.

With Jaehaerys being the King and still kinda scary to a young Hedaera, she took most of her anger out on her grandmother and father, so when Daera gave birth for the first time she said a lot of very hurtful things and even refused to have Alysanne in the room with her.

Daera eventually realises that Alysanne, in her way, did all she could to help her, short of smuggling her out of the capital. She only had the power Jaehaerys allowed her to have and Daera starts to actually pity her grandmother as she grows older.

At the time of Alysanne’s death she still has some anger for her but is starting to grapple with the reality she is and Alysanne has been living in and that despite being Queen her grandmother sometimes was powerless to change certain things.

When it comes to Jaehaerys, Daera may or may not have had a hand in his death fueled by bouts of depression. She despises him and the way he treated his daughters and granddaughters, so she does not mourn him at all. She might have even celebrated his death if it didn’t mean that now Viserys would be crowned and she would be put in her grandmother’s shoes.

Was she close to Gael? How did she take her death? 

Gael was one of Hedaera’s childhood companions along with Aemma and Daera liked her very much. They were both like big sisters to her. While Gael was being hidden away from court during her pregnancy, Daera kept her company and later helped her through the labour (Daera herself had just a year prior been through her first birth) as well as comforted her when the baby didn’t live. Her suicide hit her very hard. 

In the happy AU for Daera she names her second son after her.

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Yours - A Frost/Reader One Shot Story.

This got away from me a bit, besties, but here, have at it. Fluff and hot smut with Frost. What's not to like?

Words - 2,498

Warnings - 18+ content, minors DNI!

“He ended it today. We both know why, especially after what he told me. Listen, I can’t stop him from going to you, but I can say that we can’t be friends if anything happens between you and him. For how long, I don’t know. I want to be an adult about it, but it hurts too much right now.”  

Your heart is jackrabbiting so hard, you feel it in the back of your throat as you read that message, even though you’ve known it’s been coming for the last few days. Perhaps longer, if you’re honest with yourself. It would be a huge untruth if you ever claimed otherwise. Now is the time to face reality, really face up to the fact that you are the reason why your friend and her boyfriend broke up. 

You were the other woman.  

Nothing happened between you and Kjetil, though. He’d never have let it, he’s too good a man to betray anyone in that way. That resolve only made your affection for him bloom even further. In turn, you could never have acted upon your feelings and forsaken your friend, no matter how much the longing for him began to gnaw away at you. Erosion of the heart from a relentless pull to a man who was off limits, coupled with feeling like the most disloyal bitch on earth.  

Your thumb ghosts over your phone, sighing, resting your other hand to your forehead. What the hell do you even say to her? What is there to say in the wake of this? It was your fault, and she’s entitled to feel like this. You cannot blame her at all.  

“I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. Please believe that I didn’t, also that absolutely nothing happened between us when you were together. I swear that. I don’t know what it was that he told you, but I will say that I respect your wishes. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t. I just hate that you’ve ended up hurt.” 

Sliding your tired feet from your shoes, you move to the fridge and grab the nearest bottle of alcohol, pouring out a large glass and taking a gulp as you watch the three dots bounce upon the screen, your heart still hammering. 

“I do believe you, but I do not believe that you don’t know what you’re going to do now. It’s obvious. As for what he said, I think he should tell you that himself, as he undoubtedly will.”  

Having Kjetil in front of you as a single man; hmmm. You know exactly what you’ll do. You both do. Suffice to say it shan’t involve many words. That potent chemistry between you isn’t solely what it is, though, the magnetic pull between you and him, and it never was. That’s what makes all of this so hard. It always is when feelings come into it. It was never solely desire and attraction.  

It was always more. He was always more.  

He still is. 

If only you could have stopped yourself from loving him, none of this would have happened. You could have admired him from afar for being perhaps the most beautiful man you have ever seen, and quite easily been the adult you are and gotten over it. He was hers, not yours. Envy would have washed away eventually, and you’d have been nothing but happy for her; for them. She deserved a good man, and she found one in him. Except all of that got interrupted by what you both found in each other.  

You couldn’t put the brakes on it; you just had to go and fall so deeply and hopelessly in love with him. You couldn’t help it, a perpetual moth to his flame, whether he intended to pull you near or not. She used to love it when he told her you were his favourite of her friends, adored that you and he got along so well. It burns through your chest as you stand there and realise it, how the threads that should have connected him and her were the ones that wove between you and he, invisible little spiders spinning silk; both of you the prey that ended up caught in the webs.  

You leave your drink and phone abandoned in the kitchen, going through to the bathroom and stripping your clothes, stepping into the shower to wash the day from your skin. You’re careful not to wet your clean hair, but remain there with the water pouring over you for long enough to feel human again, or as close to it as possible. It keeps stinging at you, but also making excitement swell in your belly, the fact he’s single.  

A hornet with butterfly wings. It jabs just as much as it flutters within. 

After drying off, you forgo underwear, dressing in simple, comfortable trousers and a vest top, returning to your drink and your phone. You don’t really know what to do, your normal routine disturbed by such a bombshell, knowing you should be thinking about dinner, but not able to even face a single bite of whatever you’d likely prepare. So, you simply stand and sip, idly scrolling your phone, until a soft knock upon your door rouses you from it.  

You don’t even need to open it to know who is on the other side, but when you do, your heart still feels as if somebody loaded it into a catapult all the same. There he is, and the sight of him steals your voice like a thief in the dead of night, stepping aside to let him in, standing dumbly as you close the door and turn to him.  

“It’s over,” he breathes quietly, pressing his lips together before sighing. He hated hurting her, you can read it all over his face. 

You nod, looking down for a second. “I know. She told me.” 

He reaches for you, a hand cupped softly against your cheek, thumb stroking, leaning to you. His forehead rests to yours for a moment before his arms snake around you, pulling you close. You press your face against his neck, his scent flooding your nose, the smell of him, leather and whatever shampoo that scents the long curtain of black hair that tickles your cheek. God, to have him close. Your heart flutters madly to feel his warmth there beneath the black and oxblood leather jacket, lean muscles pressed tight against you. 

Everything that has been rapidly disassembling within you is pieced back together by having him near, brick by brick as you feel his hands stroke your back, his lips pressing a kiss against your head. Heartstrings mend themselves, the feeling of guilt ebbing away. It never feels wrong when he holds you, and now he can without guilt, you’re not quite sure how you’ll let go. Perhaps now, you don’t have to.  

“I want to hate myself a little, but I can’t,” he finally speaks, your hand moving to stroke the side of his neck. His pulse is hammering more rapidly than the blast beats he so flawlessly executes when he’s sat behind a drumkit. “Hate that I hurt her, but I can’t hate what that brings. If I did, then that means what I feel about you is wrong, and it isn’t.”  

“What did you tell her?” you ask, emerging to look at him, resting your hands against his chest.  

He swallows hard, a frown denting between his eyebrows. “That I couldn’t be with her any longer, that it wasn’t fair on her. I said that I’d loved her once, but that I was in love with you. Big difference, loving someone and being in love with them.”  

To hear him speak it, currents of bliss thrum through you, his hands resting either side of your face as he leans to you, and finally, finally, without regret or second thought, you fall into the kiss that’s been months in the coming. He kisses you exactly how you imagined he would, the way you fantasised, the way she detailed. His kisses made her legs turn to jelly, she once shared with you, and now it is you feeling quivery as your tongues swirl, being lifted until you’re clutched on around him as he carries you up the stairs.  

He walks you to your bedroom like he knows the path of old, yet he’s only ever been here once before. He seats you on the bed, his jacket hitting the floor with a loud clunk, your fingers unbuttoning his black shirt as you gaze up at him. It’s strange, to see him here, in your own little sanctuary, the place you have only ever imagined he would one day be present within. How you have dreamed about it, though, the removal of clothes you now enact in the present, the reality of his body revealed to you, naked flesh pressing together as he climbs atop you.  

The want within you winds like a summer tempest, the evening sun streaming in, gilding you both as you kiss with an outpouring of bottled-up affection, the cork now popped, your desire flowing free. Your hands cannot begin to sate their hunger in touching him, stroking over his skin, clasping his muscles, running through the silky midnight of his hair as you pant against his mouth. At last, he’s yours. All yours. 

He pulls from your mouth, thumb dragging a soft stroke over your lower lip, desire and love swirling potently in his stare as you gaze up at him, nails softly stroking his neck. “I can’t believe you’re here. It’s real, it’s happening.” He smiles and kisses you again, all requited longing, those kisses intensifying at you whisper your love and clutch him to you, the want of the moment swiftly derailing the tenderness as you paw at one another wildly.  

You’ve ached for it, this moment, to feel his weight upon you as he kisses you with blinding, mindless need. Your arousal spirals, breathing laboured, palms clammy, keening for him so much you can barely lie still. He finally pulls his lips from yours, eyes burning with hazel fire, pupils bleeding black before they close, and his mouth begins to plant kisses over the paths his hands take. 

You sigh in bliss at the tantalising caresses at your neck, trailing over your chest before suddenly, he descends, shifting between your legs and wasting no time in delighting your aching folds with a long, slow lick. 

“He’s so good at going down on me I almost passed out, the first time he did it!” 

Her words, but god, now you know the reality of that statement as you lie with your mouth dropped open, hands fisting the covers either side of your head, chest jolting as the feeling of him sucking on your clit knocks the breath from your lungs. Oh... ohhhhh.  

You practically wrap your legs around his neck as his mouth begins to work at you, bliss filled moans leaving your throat as he parts your thighs again, stroking them as his tongue works your apex without reserve. He licks you incessantly and hungrily, your nails trailing his scalp as your squirm against the inquisitions of his mouth. 

You taste sweetly intoxicating to him, your warm dew bathing his eager tongue as he eats you fervently. Your desire spirals, heat flickering through your groin, rising up your spine as delicious tingles flow through you, his tongue circling your clit until it stands hard. 

Your firm little bud is then sucked on by his hungry mouth, his hands moving to squeeze your breasts as you writhe against him, everything winding tight as you cry out. Moving up your body, he slides into your wetness with a faint, satisfied moan, your arms and legs wrapping around him as you kiss one another with scorching heat. Finally... finally.  

The coil of pleasure twisting through your core is intensified by the feel of his cock cutting through your wetness, spearing you deeply, your body keening as he drives into you with force. His hardness claims you entirely, hips rocking into each of his thrusts, hooking your arms under your legs and drawing them up a little, allowing him to sink into you deeper. 

He feels thick and hot within your fluttering core, your cunt tingling for him as he begins to fuck you with merciless delivery, pounding your wet centre, dragging heat from you. All that is hurried and urgent then abates as he slows down, a slight rotation of his hips shifting his weight a little further, bearing down, his cock dragging heavy against your walls, sparks igniting. 

He coaxes a string of expletives from you, your cunt clenching around him furiously, bathing his cock in your wetness as he thrusts so deeply and precisely into you, rendering you a hollering wreck as glimmers surge through your body. He pours pleasure into you, igniting you to your bones, the pace becoming uncontained once more. 

He makes you feel he’s about to go through you with the voracity of each thrust, your body lighting up gradually until suddenly, the light completely illuminates you, white hot and charging, striking each nerve ending and reducing you to a quivering wreck, Kjetil showing no signs of ceasing. 

The pace slows so he can enjoy the beauty of your cunt flexing around him, wet heat contracting against his girth, his hand moving between your legs to rub at your clit with his thumb while speeding back up again a little. 

The sensations are intensity unmatched, his cock stroking your insides so deftly while his thumb causes waves of warmth to emanate, making you so dizzy and high on pleasure, you’re soaring with the constellations. You didn’t think sex could be this intense… not up until now, with him at last. 

His hips smack against your body, pounding you with primal need once more, your moans disturbing the still silence of the late summer evening, only fettered slightly when he holds your throat gently, fingers flexing at your neck as he stares at you, winking and leaning to assail your mouth with his. 

Your body is pulsing once more, the ebb and flow of sexual energy now relentlessly flowing, a hum of utter erotic divinity between you both doing nothing but gaining momentum as you both groan helplessly. The bed begins to furiously bang against the wall as the pursuit of divinity is zealously undertaken, both of you chasing your releases with illimitable determination, until you shatter at the same time.  

His body settles to yours as you both fight for breath, stroking one another, your mouth tilting into a happy smile as you feel him nuzzle your neck.  

“Finally,” he pants, kissing you just beneath your jaw, “I’m exactly where I always should have been.” 

He isn’t wrong, and neither is what you have with him. Not now he’s yours. As he always should have been. 

[willkatfanfromasia]

Modern au NanDitha- financial consultant Nandini x War vet Aditya

A Night to Remember - 1

The dull bustle of the party slowly grated her nerves. The lights from the bungalow ensured her vicinity was well lit.

The glorious mansion behind her looked different now. No longer the intimidating figure of her childhood – sometimes a monster and other times a skyscraper she could never never hope to scale.

She'd developed a fondness for it in the last few months. It was sick but graciously held on, hoping for a better tomorrow, much like it’s owner. And lo! Now both had recovered and celebrating.

She sat on a bench in the vast estate grounds and mulled over the shock of seeing him again. Just as she considered cursing her fate, It began raining- forcing her to look for shelter. “The price of wanting some peace” she groaned. The whole mansion was clouded by loud party music and conversations. Even the restroom could offer only a muffled din instead of silence, making Nandini flee outside. A decision she was beginning to regret with every raindrop that fell on her.

A wooden cottage was visible, tucked away in the estate’s furthest corner. She remembered from her sordid past that they stored their gardening equipments there. “very rich people-sque” she rolled her eyes

Attached to the shed was a small sitting room for the inhabitants to enjoy an evening away from the mansion, while still hidden from the public

With each step forward her mind relentlessly presented on memory after another, keeping up with the faint party song tempo.

The hide and seek they played as kids. She truly did wish to disappear back then… and went into an abandoned room. He, the son of her dad’s boss cum landlord, followed her but didn’t enter, unsure if she was inside. He called her name and gently coaxed her out.

It seemed like the greatest comfort back then, but now she almost wishes she never fell for his sweet lies.

The rain’s pouring became more insistent, jolting her back to reality.

"Damn that man" she cursed; she was drenched by now.

Just as she entered the cottage, dripping over the mat, she realised it was the same room. Her hiding spot from years ago, except it was expanded, with some comfy looking furniture and a kitchenette.. it looked solitary enough, only the porch light was on. Unbothered about ruining her client’s upholstery, she sat herself in the ‘living room’ couch and sunk into the cushion with closed eyes.

His beautiful, brown eyes when he saw her.

Her body tensed as she remembered his eyes darkening. The glorious mansion and the people all faded.

The awareness that it was she who elicited this response made her shiver.

He'd stepped forward, making her feel exposed under his unceasing gaze.

The gentle gruffness of his voice made her erupt in goosebumps. His love and longing filled voice reverberated across her whole body.

He walked even closer, hands extended as if to hold her. She froze in fright, wondering if he knew the effect he had on her even after a decade. What would he do if he was aware?

He was the first born of a great aristocratic family. The maharaja-zamindari system maybe long abolished but their social prestige and wealth persisted. Them and their old money neighbors were all saccharine charm- till they felt threatened.

Aditya, Kundavai, Arun- the names were suspiciously archaic and common for the kids of the districts most influential man, she’d thought initially . It was a later realisation that quirky names screamed ‘nouveau riche’ and recycling classic names was hallmark of the nobility.

Awkward teen nandini spied a happy young boy hiding behind his sister’s zara skirt. The sister looked like her chin was welded facing upward – beautiful but proud. A boy stood a few metres behind them, his posture betraying cockiness beyond his years.

Who knew it also hid a heart of gold? One that loved selflessly

The tiredness of the last few months caught up with her mind and threw random memories.

A young Aditya was spotted behind a tree, her own young self sandwiched between her amorous lover and the rough bark. Her natural modesty made her protest, each refusal weaker and halfhearted, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her relentlessly.

He began innocently enough, pecking her forehead, before his lips brushed her sideburn, tracing her hairline till her neck. He took extra care as he nibbles the side of her neck. Her eyes closed, unable to bear the pleasure blooming in her chest. Satisfied with the deepening of her breath, he kissed along her clavicle, mouth edging dangerously close to her décolletage.

Nandini could scarcely believe what was happening to her. She knew she was not adventurous as her peers. She never once thought any boy would care for her pleasure anyway, though she dreamt of it.

The storm of emotions reflected in her ruddy cheeks. She was sure he could hear her thoughts and feel her heartbeat. He was so close! The baser instincts, which only ever appeared when she was alone, now raged for more. Aditya moved back, knowing he’d pushed her limits far enough for the day. He was immensely excited to see his normally composed beloved lose control.

Unbeknownst to them then, they’d been watched.

Nandini laughed dryly, back in the present, for it wasn’t that incident that spurred the chaos.

Aditha didn’t stop with plying her with sweet dreams or attempts at seducing her. Indeed, if that were the case she’d ruefully dismissed him as just another callous youth.

He was plucky and naïve enough to tell his family about his intentions to wed her once his training and deployment ended. All hell broke loose, kundavai horrified by this 'social blunder' as she termed it. His parents were more understanding, perhaps hoping his desire would fade with time or the girl indeed would prove worthy of their firstborn. His grandaunt’s deathly silence was the deciding factor. A girl of unknown caste, no dowry or connections will be a great problem she’d decided.

Nandini’s mouth curled sardonically, forcing herself to focus on the present.

The family’s old fashioned management of their estate combined with the changing economy prompted them to hire a professional firm. Ironically, it was kundavai who insisted her parents to seek help – ever eager to preserve her family legacy (read ‘fortune’) .

He’d returned too.

Both parties skirted politely during the project. The family being the ones in need of help and nandini as the top employee of her financial consultancy firm, expert in refurbishing failing businesses and loss making ventures. ‘Make over queen’ her boss and colleagues called her. “Huh, if they only knew how hard it was to give my life a make over”, she mused.

Her friends tried hard to set her up on dates. She always chickened out- none of them will ever be him.

The family’s opinion of her improved and her services seemed integral in modernizing their ancestral property into a money mint. A party was organised to mark the estate project's success. 'A true taste of zamindari hospitality' they said. She’d grown too comfortable brushing shoulders with figures of her past.

They hadn't warned her of his arrival.

Aditya’s longstanding desire to join the army was initially opposed by his family. The prestige of such a career and it’s family history was what convinced them. ‘It’ll be a nod to our noble forefathers’ he chirped.

Their dismissal of Nandini’s foster parents from their tenant home made Aditya’s hopes sink. Her dad’s job as a pandit was taken, afterall Aditya’s grandaunt was a temple executive committee member.

They let him join the training academy earlier than planned- hoping to curb his questions. A top ranking cadet, he was quickly commissioned and deployed to the Indo-Pak border in Kashmir.

Perhaps his services proved to be invaluable, he stayed there for 6 years! His visits home were rare and brief.

She heard of his return merely few seconds before their eyes met. “he intends to stay here for 4 months” voices whispered.

A rugged man, with an aura beyond his years- the confidence of a man who’d looked death in the eye, stood next to the bar. He seemed disinterested in his drink, the people, the party until he looked up.

His tired eyes looked at her in disbelief.

-----------

Nandini woke up shivering. Her drenched clothes formed a puddle on the couch fabric. Her wine sari wasn’t any better, it’s fabric damp and stuck to her skin.

She looked around to remedy her situation. Aha! A thick blanket was folded and places inside one of the almirahs. She wrapped it around herself and switched on the fan to dry the damage she’d inflicted.

The shock of seeing him had made her flee without partaking in the various delicacies on display. She sorely regretted it, the zamindar mansion’s food was one of its few attributes she’d missed.

The kitchenette seemed empty and unused. Her hunger addled brain opened and closed each unlocked cupboard hoping to find – yes! This would do ! she thought as she picked up a lone biscuit packet.

She munched into the biscuit, uncaring of how loudly she chewed, feeling comfortable in her fleece blanket. Just the comfort she needed after her tumult. Not that she had any right to rage- it WAS his home. Bad enough she was surprised by HIS arrival – at his own house.

She huffed in disappointment when she noticed there weren’t anymore biscuits. The rain thundered more violently than before but the power hadn’t gone off. She settled in for a disconcertingly quiet night. “I’ll leave in a few hours” she told herself.

@nashibirne @nspwriteups @favcolourrvibgior @vibishalakshman @thelekhikawrites @dr-scribbler @kovaipaavai @budugu @dosai-maavu @matka-kulfi @curiousgalacticsoul @harinishivaa @chiyaanvikram @celestesinsight @inveter @deepti1011 @itszhunotz @babayagahunt @thegleamingmoon @maisadalawa @ragkee @inlovewithfictionalbeings @happysharkdragon @gowrimenonop-1 @ramcharanobsessed @nature-writes29 @voidsteffy @whippersnappersbookworm @hollogramhallucination @thereader-radhika @sowlspace @rang-lo @nirmohi-premika @love-ps1ff @canonless5 @sampigehoovu

[squarebracketsmileyface]

if you liked Don't Blame Me you should listen to the rest of the album, Are We There Yet? the entire thing is about breakups and the cycle of toxic love! not only does the music absolutely fuck but it'll ruin you

I've listened through the album once in the background of doing other things, so I wasn't paying much attention to the lyrics. I should listen to it properly, because if it's about break ups and toxic love it'll be perfect for my Sorry It's Locked playlist

OKAY I'm back having relistened to the whole album. And this got long soooooo hiding it so it looks neater.

Romanticise This????? Alex's pov on breaking Jay's heart and betraying him. "God forbid that I romanticise this"? Like, as far as I'm concerned, Alex romanticises breaking Jay's heart through believing that it was the only choice he had to save him, he was doing it for the greater good.

You Are Here, i love this one so much and it makes me think of the entry 80 and onward fic idea I have for the sorry It's locked universe, where both Jay and Alex have kinda done a little healing (mostly Jay if i'm being honest, Alex if fucked) and they meet again under the circumstances of, yknow, entry 80. Jay's trying to kinda talk Alex out of killing him, and like, is just kinda realising how much he's had to change for them both to be here in this moment, but he also realises upon seeing Alex that he hasn't changed enough.

Idk I think it's more the general vibes of the song than the lyrics in this one but I still love it.

"You are here, And so am I, So come for a moment, And stay for a while" I think this bit is the most lyrically similar to the fic idea, like, Jay's going to not be able to bring himself to push Alex away even after he's shot him and they'll just both stay there together until Jay dies in Alex's arms.

In Between, Alex again, like, just, thinking about everything that came before, back when they were in Uni together. Like, him thinking about the things he'd do differently now (if all the shit with the Operator wasn't happening) Especially the chorus with the, like, wanting to "be like you" and "be with you" like, Alex kinda admiring Jay in a way I guess? Like, I'm thinking admiring Jay's ability to, like, be vaguely more open about his sexuality than Alex ever was. I'm terrible at analysis. THEY'RE MY BABIES AND THIS SONG MAKES ME GO "ALEX ARARARARARARARARARARA" there we go.

Then like, the last verse where it's like the chorus but changed a little? That's like Alex in the entry 80 fic idea realising how badly he fucked everything up and how there's no way to fix it now. He can't be like Jay, he can't be with Jay.

On The Other Side, more Alex, except it's Alex finally kinda losing it and realising he is very much not in control of himself or the Operator, and that the Operator is pretty much conpletely in control of his actions, or like, the thought processes that inform his actions. Specifically the end of the song I think, tho like, the whole "You wont find me on the other side" feels almost like he's resigned himself to hell after death, whereas everyone he's killed (and eventually Jay because he's realising he'll have to kill jay too now) won't be there with him. He's like, resigning himself to being okay with that reality.

The whole "I'll sleep in the eye of the storm" line to me feels like it could be about the Operator kinda. Like, the Operator is the storm, and Alex is sleeping in the eye of it, as in, staying close to it and kinda doing what it says (while also trying to still save people from it) is the best way to keep himself alive for longer so he can "save" more people from it in the end. I think that makes sense? God knows. I'm tired and terrible as song analysis.

Once again: Alex ararararrarararararrarararararararrarar

Okay. I'm done. My apologies for ranting I just love this fic SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much that any chance I get to talk about it, I will talk until my jaw falls off because oh my GOD I love these characters so fucking much.

Denial, Jam Jam Jam Jam Jam Jam. Jam. Idk, this just feels like Jam in Sorry It's Locked. Specifically because as great (comparatively) as their relationship is there are still issues they're ignoring/staying in denial of. They definitely hook up too quick, they definitely need to talk things through more before they have sex, but they don't because they really don't have the time for that. They're making the best of a shit situation and as much as Tim would like to be sensible, he'd also like to do stuff before one or both of them ends up dead. They try to talk about stuff after they hook up but "How can we speak with all our clothes on the floor?"

"Say what you need and you can stay for a while, Say what I like so I can stay in denial" Jay talking to Tim methinks. He's just trying to forget everything. Everything that happened with Alex, everything that's happening with the Operator. He just wants something he can use to pretend his life is normal.

"Won't you come away with me? And water 'til we're overgrown" Tim being so very hopeful that they'll get out of this alive and well and they'll be able to grow older together.

"So just hypothetically, Will you be the death of me?" As much as they like each other, they definitely don't fully trust each other. In their situation they can't, so they're definitely wary of the other being the literal death of them lmaooooo. But also 'oh you'll be the death of me' in the fun cute way because like, sometimes they can pretend things are normal and their relationship is normal and came about in a normal way.

[livingfictionsystem]

"“I can channel Arannan because he exists. Because he’s real! These people like Aberle that you claim you know— they’re not!”

Maybe Rowan was right. Maybe I never had enough reason to believe about half of my friends actually existed. Maybe I was delusional. The kind of liar that doesn’t even know they’re lying. Except… “But you told me you met Aberle in person. And slept with him.”

Your life is ruined, so you might as well write about it.

No telling if it'll be a cult classic or manifesto, but writing is all you're good at anyway. God knows you'd outlive the sun to get the last word in.

How did it end up like this? "The predictable story of how a hopeless romantic moved across the country just to be betrayed. Twice."? "The existential nightmare of how I found out the people I care about weren't real. Twice!" Then again, your attachment to reality was never a solid one, was it? Did it start with the faeries? Or maybe the one you dated that thought they were a vampire? (Which one?) "The tragic tale of how your dumbass dated someone who thought they were a vampire. Twice."

Tracing your steps back, you start to realise that you weren't the only victim of the Faerie Cult. "Bitter memoirs of how my 'friends' broke into my room and read my journals. Twice. No, three times. No, four. Five---" "Startling reports of how the supposed 'faerie' Actually Poisoned Someone. Twice." Oh, so you're not the only one with bad habits.

Maybe you have a chance to finally sort yourself out. Now that you know you have Dissociative Identity Disorder, now that you understand that these aren't 'ghosts' or 'interdimensional beings' or 'past-lives' you're channeling, but alters. And as it so happens, taking down an empire of manipulation is a group project. Say what you want about cults, but they do bring people together.

But what happened to the old host? Why did they disappear and leave you with this mess? And, more pressing, how do you stop the same thing from happening to you?"

[siyasantlani111]

People pleasing ~

Hi guys lets talk about people pleasing. I'm so frustrated with people who constantly people please and people please and people please.

I'm going to be very honest with you guys the person you are people pleasing, don't give a fuck about you, I don't care of it's your mom , your dad, your bestfriend, your sister, your neighbours, your chef or literally even someone random on the streets.

Today I'm going to share about how big of a people pleaser I am and how fucked up it got to a point where i was constantly feeling sad and depressed but didn't know what to do.

1) The second person

Lets start this with the second party who you constantly people please, let me be very honest with you they don't respect you, they treat you like trash, and they will always do it. It will go on and on and on, until and unless you cut this person off, or just be cold to them. But the best option is to cut them off.

Now start realising they won't change for you, people only change when they truly want something or someone, ok! Start realising that.

They don't care bro they don't care, you think they love you? You think they care about you? Well honey you are mistaken, you are, abso- fucking-lutely mistaken!!!!! Because if they truly loved you they would not hurt you and by chance they are a human being a normal human being they might have made a mistake, then they would have made sure that it won't repeat again and again and again ok!!!

They would have never allowed you to people please them. These are the exact same people who are known as green flags by everyone , but this is going to confuse you because even though they are called green flags they are still the people who betrayed you and hurt you so much. They will continue this behaviour so just leaveeee.

2) How people pleasing made me validate my self through external sources.

I'm going to share one of my stories of how I became a people pleaser. So I was born in a household where my family would constantly compare themselves and me with other people, as well as my parents would constantly compare me to others which lead me into thinking that everyone is better than me and everyone deserves to be on the pedestal in my life except me. So now whenever I'd go somewhere out and meet other people i would always put them on top and me saying that “I always put them on top” included me thinking that they're better than me, they are the top, as well as thinking too much about what they'd think of me, their opinions, and always making sure they feel good even if it costs my happiness . And I used to have this naivety in me which i still do sometimes, where i used to think everyone has good intentions everyone is good, but it's not true and that's the bitter reality.

And because of a lot of people pleasing i became extremely competitive . And being competitive is not wrong but the problem is if you are in a place where you constantly have to feel better by being on the top or being in a competition with the world. Then it's draining , because this is a source of external validation and external validation is just a temporary fix.

I still struggle a lot with my competitive behaviours, but i have came to a point where I recognise myself and try to validate myself and remind myself I'm doing better than me and thats the only competition we have to be in.

Not only that much but people pleasing behaviours begin when you are constantly not validated enough by your loved ones, or when you experience inconsistent love or inconsistent validation from childhood, also when you have had people in your child hood who always made comments about you or criticised you a lot as a kid.

Because as a kid we deserve a lot of affection and compassionate behaviour, I'm not saying as a teen or an adult you don't deserve good behaviour. I'm just centralising childhood because its when our brains are developing a lot, we are developing our own personalities during our childhood, children are also very naive and innocent. Children have a lot of colour in their eyes and lots of love and innocence in their hearts, and kids are new to this world obviously so they have more of their own thoughts, they don't know what's good or bad, they don't know what's healthy or unhealthy. For them everything is good, healthy and everyone has pure intentions, that's how a child thinks. But when we start growing we start letting other people thoughts to blend with our thoughts and thats when we start differentiating everything.

So i believe kids deserve to have consistent love and validation form their loved ones.

But when a child doesn't receive that ,they end up being a people pleaser, because they're constantly trying to please their loved ones who never appreciated them consistently and the people pleasing continues as an adult or teenager.

3)You start loosing trust in yourself.

I'm going to tell you something so I used have certain cousins in my life which were like family members to me, and whenever they'd do something wrong I'd feel really hurt and I'd be like let me not talk to them, but then I'll go back to them again and laugh with them and make jokes. And one day i was treated so badly and I was betrayed so badly that I was like this is the worst thing someone could ever do to someone , and this year I decided to cut them off, and during the beginning i didn't trust my word enough because i would always get back to them in the past,then I realised now if I did this continuesly, then i wouldn't have any self respect anymore, because the betrayal was quite heavy. So like i said I didn't trust myself enough around them, this is what happens when you constantly let people use you, hurt you, or you constantly people please them and then go back to them because it feels comfortable. And now by god's grace i got my trust back in me, and i still have to see them almost every single day I don't talk to them and make any jokes and I'm very cold to them.

I don't like doing that but i don't have an option, I'm not a cold person. But everyone doesn't deserve to see my bubbly side especially the ones who betrayed me really badly.

I have also reached a point where I see even the tiniest times I'm being taken advantage of I take a step back, because when you have been a person who hit rock bottom because of people pleasing you won't even tolerate 1% of disrespect because you know how dangerous it could get and then it would take many years to leave that toxic relationship.

4) it's ok to not fit in and normalise being alone

Start realising when it's time to leave and take a step back. So like I said I have always been a very big people pleaser. I would let people hurt me so much to a point where it started affecting me mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. I used to have a lot of people in the past who made lot's and lots of comments about my body and my appearance, because of that i realised that I had certain symptoms of eating disorder.

And not only that much but I also remember i was always scared of being alone and i always tried to fit in, and because i never fitted in, i would subconsciously let people take advantage of me. And you know what it's not their fault it's my fault i allowed them to treat me this way.I would always be surrounded by people who literally bullied me and I always laughed with them when they made jokes about me, and would constantly let them do it, because i was scared of being alone, and them not liking me ,their jokes and comments got so bad to a point where I literally started thinking about myself that way too, and it started getting overwhelming and sometimes i would feel extremely depressed .

But i still allowed them to treat me that way because I didn't want them to think I get offended easily or i can't take any jokes, or cause a lot of drama (in hindi being jhagdalu).

And honestly guys jokes are supposed to make you laugh not depressed.

What do they know about you? Or who are they to tell you, you can't take jokes or get offended easily, because honestly if these people would have been through your past or whatever you went through and then someone would have had made jokes like this about them, they would snap easily and it won't be funny to them. But when its you its funny, its lighthearted. They haven't been through what you have been through so please don't let people tell you you can't take any jokes, what do they even know about you?

And by chance if you tell them “hey I don't really appreciate when you do this, or tell them i have been through something shitty and I don't like jokes related to that” and if they constantly make jokes about you then WALK AWAY!!!!

I'm literally so ok with being alone than being with someone who constantly makes me feel depressed. It doesn't feel lonely or sad or miserable it feels really peaceful. And also the reason i think i don't fit in sometimes is because I'm actually pretty much more mentally mature than most people of my age I'm not calling people immature but sometimes your mentality doesn't matches other person's mentality.

See guys if you don't like something or if you can't meet someone's defination of fun ,or defination of not getting offended ,or literally anything then you don't have to constantly try to change yourselves if it depresses you or overwhelmes you , just realise its ok you don't fit in , in their mentality or standards.

Just because you always trying to fit in also means that you are dimming yourself and you are not your authentic self because of this constant anxiety of not being liked. And at the end of the day we don't have to be liked by everyone because everyone doesn't matter.

5) start having boundaries.

You know what is the biggest problem with people pleaser's? They don't have any boundaries, they'd literally do anything for anyone even if it really hurts them or costs them their mental health.

What are boundaries? I was a person who really struggled a lot with boundaries and I used to get really confused with boundaries and triggers. To some of y'all it won't make sense. But I used to think maybe I'm triggered and I'd allow people to disrespect my boundaries. Now what truly a boundary is :

If someone asks you do something and if doing that is going to overwhelm you alot then you don't do it,because doing what you don't want to is people pleasing, or when someone makes a joke about you and again it makes you anxious or overwhelmes you , then you tell them to stop. Also for example you didn't like something someone did let them know that you didn't appreciate it first, because yes the opposite person can make mistakes too, however if that behaviour constantly continues than you should leave. Similarly I'm not saying don't help people I'm saying if you are constantly the one who's helping and never receiving any when you need it then you need to realise that you're been taken granted for . Similarly if talking to someone makes you anxious or overwhelms you then you don't have to do it.

I know I have talked a lot about boundaries in almost all my blogs, but I think people just don't understand how important it is to have boundaries so I'll continue talking about it.

Anyways I hope you guys liked this blog, I'm so grateful to share my experiences with y'all. Thankyou so much for reading, I love you guys so so much, byeee❤️❤️❤️.

[drgnbld]

⏳

For every “⏳” I receive, my muse will openly talk about a bit of their backstory. @yellowsforest.

" for the longest time, I felt very disconnected from the clan I was raised in. " he doesn't understand how his own voice, and thoughts to an extent, are betraying the very walls of foundation he's built up over the past couple of decades to keep any filtering emotions behind it by talking to yellow about a very secretive time in his life.

maybe it's to pass idle conversation. maybe it runs deeper than that, a need to show that despite everything which transpired those years ago he once had good intentions even if they became skewed with hateful determination. maybe he just wanted to finally let this all out on one of the only people who could - desperation - understand him as a whole.

in reality he just wanted to talk to someone about this.

" I was technically an outsider, brought in by someone who I never met, not knowing much about my origins except being... special in some sense... apart from clair, there wasn't anyone else I felt particularly close to. " and since, really. even now he feels their bond as siblings rather than distant cousins. " the day I ran to them explaining about what had happened at lake rage - all the pokémon who were dying at the hands of humans like us - I was told as it was not within the boundaries of the clan it mattered little to them. that I shouldn't have mattered to me because we weren't the same as those who were poisoning an entire world of species. "

rapid breathing, blood boiling and heart rate accelerating, wataru takes a few moments to breathe before continuing. " all I wanted to do was show how wrong they were - that it should be us protecting those who can't protect themselves... and knowing what I could do, what I had trained for... I knew that person who could stop the villains, as a general term, was me. by any means necessary. it was the moment in my life where me being alone was solidified. always an outsider with my beliefs, and man, did I let that get the best of me. "

" as much as I can regret everything else I did back then, I can't say I regret storming the clan once more as an elite and threatening them as I did. seeing them fear for the first time in their lives, realising that they'd messed up by not listening to me, thinking I wouldn't come back for them vengeful because they took me in... that's something I'll never regret. "

[dafakismyblog]

I keep thinking about a scene that could end the show and it keeps bothering me so I need to share it.

Throughout the last season, Will keeps getting worse and worse, more angry, more sad until he feels nothing. Until his trauma takes over and Vecna absolutely consumes him. He takes over with the hard hitting words and convinces Will that everyone around him doesn't really care about him. "The father who never cared about you. The mother who's always busy. The brother who never talks to you.. The friend who could never love you back." ↓

.

It's the final scene. Will's standing in front of Vecna, facing his friends, whom he has pinned up against a wall. This is why he let Vecna consume him - to hurt them as much as they hurt him. Everyone who ever betrayed him in some way - or so he thinks. They keep reminding him of how much they love him, but it's not enough.

It's never enough.

Except Mike.

He's the only one left. The only one still not pinned to the wall. Will's about to do it, but...

Then Mike has the most heartbreaking and emotional scene in the whole show.

Because Mike's had a talk with El when Will went missing in the Upside Down again. It wasn't her who commissioned the painting. Sobbing and absolutely besides himself, Mike gets to his knees, grabs Will's hand and puts it on his heart. "I'm the heart, remember? I'm YOUR heart. I know that now." And Will's face starts to crack. "I'm never, ever going to leave you, I'll always be here by your side Will, I promise. I promise." And Will.. Will starts crying. Two single tears first, then more and more keep coming. And Mike's not letting go. And neither is Will. They hug tight as his friends fall down, being freed of his anger.

But Will realises.

"I have to go, Mike", he says with a trembling voice. Because if he doesn’t, he will die. And Mike's voice cracks as he shouts "No!" and hugs him even tighter. And seeing Mike like this, and realizing his love for all his friends.. Will's love wins. Instead of joining Vecna for good, instead of creating a new reality with him, Will refuses. And then.. starts collapsing in Mike's arms.

And El.. sees it all. Sees Will loving his friend and Mike being absolutely devastated as he shouts for Will to wake up, and she knows. Knows what she has to do.

She runs to Will and touches his arm. She faces Vecna with all she has. The final shot is of her being her own superhero.

.

It's dark.

.

.

Will wakes up in a hospital. Joyce looks relived, she thought they lost him. She immediately goes to get a nurse.

And Mike's there besides him. And he puts his hand in Will's. Will smiles. But then he gets nervous when Mike starts pulling away- wait. No. Mike's not pulling away. He actually entangles their fingers. If they go crazy, they go crazy together.

And for the first time in a while.. There's pure happiness on Will's face.