#only that this struck me so deeply into my heart I think there's an arrowhead there I can never dislodge

[raindrop-on-a-spiderweb]

Rosannah

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[flightfoot]

Convalescence Ch. 2

Thanks to @garecc for betaing!

Week 0, Day 6, Evening

Apollo’s POV

I woke up in a dark room. I didn’t know where I was, but for some reason, I wasn’t afraid. I felt safe and comfy and warm.

I flopped around a little, and hit someone’s nose. “Ow!”

The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

���Apollo?” the voice said. I made a small babbling noise in answer. “Guess you’re awake. Come on guys, get up! Apollo’s awake!” I heard rustling as people moved around. The boy who’d been talking picked me up as whoever was on the floor groaned and got up. Finally the boy who was holding me turned on a light, illuminating the room.

I was inside a cabin. Mattresses and blankets had been pulled from the beds onto the floor to form a cuddle-pile nest. In the nest blinking blearily up at me was a boy with sunshine-blond hair and blue eyes - Will - and a younger girl with ginger hair tinged with green. Her name came to mind quickly. “Kay’a!” I cried. But that means… I looked up. The boy who was holding me, the one who had woken up first, had black woven cornrows in his hair. “Au’tin!” I cried out, delighted.

I looked Austin and Kayla over, trying to find any injuries they might have had. But I couldn’t see any. Why had they been in the infirmary? I tried to ask. “Why in-for… in-for… Why in hurt place?”

“Hurt place… you mean the infirmary?” Will asked. I nodded. “They were helping the injured campers from the last battle.” Seeing the look of fear on my face, he hurried on, “Don’t worry, everyone survived and no one’s permanently injured, some people just need some extra rest. Like a certain son of Hades, who OVERUSED HIS POWERS AGAIN, and needs to stay and rest.” Will looked quite annoyed at this point. I was glad his ire wasn’t directed at me.

A long period of silence followed. I could feel that there was something they wanted to ask, but were holding back for some reason. I began fidgeting. What was it? What was wrong?

Kayla broke the awkward silence. “I’m gonna take Apollo to Chiron. I know Chiron would love to see him, and it might bring back some memories.”

Chiron?

A memory - more of an impression, really - flashed past. Riding on a centaur’s back. Tutoring an inquisitive student. A calm, reassuring smile.

“Chi-on!” I cried out. Maybe he’d give me centaur-back rides!

Kayla stood up and started to reach for me, then hesitated. “Apollo? Do you think you can walk?”

I thought for a moment, torn. On the one hand, I didn’t want my family to think I was so vulnerable that I couldn’t even walk correctly. On the other hand, being carried sounded really appealing right about now…

“Wa’k,” I said. Something was bothering Kayla - was bothering ALL of them. Maybe if I showed her that I was mature, she’d tell me what it was.

We walked out of the cabin. The sky was filled with a myriad of pinks and oranges and yellows, with a tinge of dark blue-black on the horizon. Nighttime would arrive soon.

We walked slowly, Kayla matching her pace to mine. A few times she opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again. Fine. If she wasn’t gonna tell me, then I’d ask.

“Why sca’ed?”

Kayla stopped, looking confused. “I’m not scared.”

I knew “scared” was the wrong word, but I couldn’t think of the right one. I did the best I could with the words I had. “You quiet. Sca’ed. Want talk.”

“You noticed, huh?”

She bit her lip. “Will wanted to hold off on asking you. He didn’t want to overwhelm you. But I just… need to know. Dad, how much do you remember?”

I looked at her, lost. Dad? She seemed to be addressing me. But that made no sense. I couldn’t be her dad. I’m not good enough, not strong enough. She deserved a better father than me.

“N-never mind,” she said, looking disappointed and a little ashamed. “Let’s just go to Chiron. Then we can go to the campfire! Austin’s leading the song circle today, and I KNOW you’ll like that.”

Ooh, songs! Marshmallows! Wait, wait, can’t get off-track. Kayla needs me. Her question: what do I remember? Hmm. Not as much as I want to, but…

“You family,” I said resolutely. “Home. Family is home.” I teared up again. Home. It was true. Leto, Artemis, Meg, Kayla, Austin, Will… they all cared for me.

“Home… I’m home.” I collapsed against Kayla’s leg, smiling and crying. She sat down on the grass and pulled me into her lap. I cuddled up against her. Her smile was soft and a little sad.

“Yeah… you’re home.” she murmured. I felt something wet fall onto my head. I looked up. Kayla was crying too, just a little. I pretended not to notice.

After a few minutes of sitting there, enjoying each other’s company, Kayla finally got up. I was reluctant, but I guess we needed to move on eventually. Why did eventually have to be NOW?

“Come on, Chiron’s expecting us. We don’t want people to think that something bad happened.”

A flash of fire filled my vision, and terror seized my heart. I grabbed Kayla’s hand. She’s here, she’s alive, she’s safe, she’s not burning.

Kayla seemed to read my mind. “I’m not going anywhere, I won’t disappear again. Austin and I are safe, thanks to you.”

Safe. They were safe. My family was safe. I breathed deeply, collecting myself, and nodded. Together, we crossed the river and entered the Big House.

Chiron was waiting for us inside, reading a book. He looked up as the door opened, his facing erupting into a grin. “Apollo! Kayla!” he called as he trotted over to us. “Glad to see you up! I was worried after what happened on Olympus. How are you holding up?”

I didn’t quite remember what happened on Olympus - not very well at any rate. but I knew how to answer Chiron’s question. “O-kay” I said carefully.

“I’ll let you two chat privately,” Kayla said, and walked out the door.

Chiron swished his tail, waiting for me to speak. I didn’t. He carried on.

“Leto and Artemis are staying in Artemis’s cabin, though I’m not sure whether Leto will stay there once Artemis’s Hunters arrive at camp. Meg’s also staying with them for now. I tried to get her to go to the Demeter Cabin, but… well, she just said that she didn’t feel like it right then and walked off.”

I giggled. That sounded like Meg.

“Artemis said you came here for a reason though, beyond just wanting to see your children again. Something about Jason?”

“Remember,” I mumbled. “Gotta remember. Remember Jason. Need reminder.”

Chiron glanced at the pictures at his walls - of the greatest heroes he’d trained - and sighed. “Jason… he was a good kid. I’d hoped that after everything he’d been through, that he’d get to just… live out his life. But I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Heroes so rarely live long…”

It struck me then. Chiron was immortal. He trained young demigods, who so infrequently lived to adulthood. He saw them die again and again and again. Yet he didn’t shy away. He embraced the mortals, tutored them, cared for them, treated them like his own children. How? How could he stand it?

I started crying again and hugged Chiron’s leg. “Hurts,” I mumbled. “Hurts so much.”

Chiron stroked my hair. “Yes,” he said tenderly, “I know. It always does. If it didn’t, I’d be worried. But it’s worth it, knowing them, caring for them. Even if it hurts in the end. I won’t say the pain goes away. You already know that’s not true. But… the pain can be precious as well. It’s proof that they lived, and that you cared. Proof that they MEANT something.” Chiron gazed around the room for a moment. “These walls are filled with some of the greatest heroes I’ve taught, the ones whose stories have been passed down through the ages, who history remember. But these aren’t the only reminders I keep. Come on. I have something to show you.”

Seeing my hopeful look, Chiron sighed and put me on his back as he trotted through the Big House, into his private quarters.

He took me into a large room, filled with hundreds, maybe thousands of items, covering every surface. Small machines that I’m certain Hephaestus’s children made, arrowheads, jewelry, and most of all, books. Rows upon rows of books, covering entire bookshelves. He went to one of the shelves and took one out, splaying it on a nearby table. I leaned over his shoulder, trying to get a good look.

It was a photo album, filled with hundreds of photos of young campers. some group photos of cabins, some individual shots.

Chiron smiled sadly as he went through the album. “I collect reminders too. Tangible proof that these children existed. That they mattered.” 

He flipped through the book, stopping on the photo of a teenage girl with black hair and blue eyes. “This is Silena Beauregard. She stayed with us for many summers, and was head counselor of the Aphrodite fountain. She was always kind and hated killing and inflicting pain, though she recognized it was sometimes necessary. Do you know she’s the reason Festus wasn’t destroyed? He was broken and a bit crazy after first being booted back up, and tried to kill her, Beckendorf, Percy, and Annabeth. But she insisted on disabling him temporarily instead of destroying him.”

He flipped to another page. My breath caught in my throat, and tears pricked at my eyes. Two teenage boys were standing together, quivers flung over their backs. Chiron noticed my gaze. “Michael Yew and Lee Fletcher. Your children. They were always keeping everyone’s spirits up, leading song circles and organizing games. Though they did tend to suggest archery be included in contests more often than it was warranted,” he chuckled.

I stared. I couldn’t remember them. They were my family, I knew that, but not a single memory floated into my mind. It’s because you hardly knew them, something whispered in my mind. You claimed them and sometimes helped them, but you barely knew them.

I wasn’t entirely sure what that voice meant, but I felt like I should. My gut twisted. I hadn’t done enough. I didn’t know what I hadn’t done enough of, but whatever it was, it wasn’t enough.

I held out a hand towards the picture. “Please,” I murmured in Chiron’s ear, almost choking on repressed sobs, “Please.”

Chiron removed the picture and handed it to me. I took it carefully, not wanting to damage this small, fragile reminder of the two lost souls. I studied it, staring at the faces of the boys as if by looking at them enough, I could bring them back to life and get to know them as I didn’t before.

“They will die,” Chiron said as he walked us back to the entranceway of the Big House. I still stared at the photo. “But at least we know they lived.”

Chiron dropped me off back at the Me Cabin. I still clutched the photo, though carefully. I would not damage this keepsake, this reminder. Kayla, Austin, and Will waited inside, cuddle nest still on the floor.

“So what did you guys talk about?” Austin asked. I showed him the photo. “Tell me,” I asked. “Who were they?”

And they did. I spent the rest of the evening listening to their stories about their brothers Michael and Lee, the times they messed up and the times they triumphed, the times they got angry, the times they were sad, and the times they glowed with joy. I smiled. They were not forgotten. And for a moment, it felt like they were still with us.