#one of them is in the military now apparently . sucks to suck ig i hope he gets better

[whispering-kavka]

gross/scary under the cut !

so today my dad had a house showing scheduled w/ a potential buyer and i wanted to come with him to see if there's any cool stuff my grandma had (she did and i brought some of them home ^-^ i now have a cute silver/mirror-like tray, a decorative fruit bowl and a fish pitcher!!) so he was just telling the guy about the house and i was just looking around on my own time we ended up kinda splitting, they left the upstairs as i was done with the ground floor, and went to the basement while i went upstairs and here comes the horrid part so the house has many holes in the roof meaning it's very uh. wet in there. one room (kitchen??) had a small pond forming there . but then to my horror i saw the cobwebs. there were so many of them . that on it's own wouldn't be terrible, of course spiders run wild when there's nobody around ! but they were just so . large and they were hanging from places i really wasn't used to seeing them in. that was only a bit unnerving but then i found the spiders. in total, there were only two alive daddy longlegs on the ground floor. the absurd amount of huge spider corpses were almost everywhere. and completely covered in fluffy white mold. after i noticed that fuzz i got real worried about touching any and all cobwebs because 1) GROSS 2)DANGEROUS MAYBE?

obviously mold grows on everything when the right conditions are met but like. it was really spooky seeing all those spiders like this 😰

now a smart person after witnessing that would go "huh! better leave and not come back any time soon :)" but as we all know i have about 1 braincell to my name and wanted to see what the attic looked like NEWSFLASH IDIOT IT'S ALSO FULL OF HUGE COBWEBS AND DEAD SPIDERS COVERED IN MOLD . also i managed to ram my head right into the roof while i was entering and tbh that's probably for the better because the attic was dark as hell and my phone flashlight was too weak for that darkness. but i did get a glimpse of all the same things i've screamed about before but somehow the one spider was even bigger than the others . must've had a good life there before the mold hit . but that was the moment i decided i was done with it and went downstairs only to find out that the door is fucking locked . that entire trip felt like a goddamn tma episode but thankfully the door's lock just got a bit jammed and my dad came to rescue me after i called him :')

so after being repeatedly spooked by scary mold, hitting my head hard enough to feel my teeth rattle and getting locked in, you'd think "yeah that's enough for kavvie for today :)" but you'd be WRONG because i also wanted to see the basement and [literally nothing new. more dead spiders and cobwebs.]

in conclusion, i would be perfectly fine if the spiders were alive and not consumed by the mold thank you and goodnight

[airyairyaucontraire]

Watching The Mandalorian S3EIforget, "The Pirate"

Okay, 44 minutes of a show that's rapidly losing my allegiance, not for being offensive or brutal, just for being kind of dumb and palpably losing interest in its title character. Let's go then.

If this show was going to go with pirates while also being addicted to re-introducing characters from the CG TV shows, I really feel they could've graced our screens with Hondo Ohnaka. But I fundamentally don't want them to keep bringing in characters from the CG shows. The only exception I would make is Rex, because Temuera Morrison, but I would rather still have more Boba, because also Temuera Morrison.

They haven't even tried to re-member the dismembered IG-11 statue.

shiny ass-kissing droid

and now there are pirates

and I just feel like a man in Greef's position -

actually speaking of Greef's position, I love how before skyping the mossy pirate captain, he squares up and puts his hands on his hips like Henry VIII posing for Holbein

- okay, a man in Greef's position, formerly deeply involved with the bounty hunters' guild, ought to have a staff of mercenaries on site in readiness for shit like this. Instead he's as unprepared for the possibility of bad guys with a big ship showing up wanting to take his stuff as Boba was on Tatooine. Presenting these middle-aged guys who have been involved in the underbelly of the galaxy for their whole adult lives as so naïve about the security challenges of running one's own fiefdom during a somewhat lawless period of regime change is such a bizarre choice. Why is everyone in this show so dumb about stuff they should be totally used to? They're not Luke Skywalker coming from the middle of nowhere with starry eyes and feathered hair. Like they should be smarter than me at this type of thing, and I'm a typist from Auckland.

there's a PIRATE NATION taking over the Mid Rim? THAT I ACTUALLY AM SEMI-INTERESTED IN so I bet they won't show it.

Retreat to the lava flats - a large, open area without shelter or cover. Super.

exsqueeze me, Disney+ subtitler, but PSYCHEDELIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYING?

well, the krill farmers are still pumping out the blue juice, I see. And here's a nice Korean Canadian dad - you know what? I feel like Captain Teva is here to provide the Papa Smurf beard that Rex is not onscreen to give us.

Okay, so just as apparently Ragnar just hung out in a dinosaur's crop totally uninjured for 12 hours minimum while a search party stopped to rest overnight on their way to him, Mr Kim has time to travel to Coruscant and try to get a meeting with his superiors while Nevarro is under active pirate attack. He doesn't say "screw it, time is of the essence, I'll render aid and take the consequences." This show's idea of time in rescue situations is bizarre.

Who else feels like this fucking boring New Republic plotline was supposed to be part of the Rangers show that presumably Cara Dune would have headed up if the actress hadn't insisted on being a douchebag on Twitter? And now they're just trying to fold it into The Mandalorian. I resent it.

You know, when I heard the name Tuttle I had a brief feverish flowering of hope that a M*A*S*H tribute about the insanity of military bureaucracy might be in the works, but then it withered.

I know this guy from somewhere, somewhere relatively recent, but I am unable to place him. I am not interested enough to look him up.

I'm so irritated by the lazy cynicism of "If the Rebellion got into power they'd be useless." They're not the Democrats.

so now everyone's just wandering around in the blazing sunlight on hot black lava flats. Sorry Greef, your planet sucks.

And now... is this Jurassic Planet? yep, so I hope he doesn't get eaten by a serpent while he's here. Dude. Sir. You're standing so close to the bay that the mosasaurs like to pop out of. You've got your back to it. Please.

please help me

why does Paz address Teva as "Blue Boy"? He is dressed from neck to ankle in the most garish orange. Paz's own armour is predominantly blue. Is he fucking colour-blind?

Why does the Disney+ subtitler still head up Din's dialogue as "THE MANDALORIAN" when we've known for actual years that his name is Din Djarin?

they pride themselves on their secrecy... and their idiocy.

You know, this would never have happened if you'd stuck with your plan of repairing IG-11. He was no snitch.

Din calls him "Blue" too! HE IS DRESSED IN ORANGE

I CANNOT RECALL THE COLOUR BLUE EVER BEING SIGNIFICANTLY ASSOCIATED WITH THE REBELLION OR NEW REPUBLIC

HE HAS SOME BLUE STENCILS ON HIS HELMET BUT HE DELIBERATELY TOOK THAT OFF AND LEFT IT IN HIS SHIP WHEN HE GOT OUT TO PARLEY SO DIN AND PAZ CAN'T SEE IT

anyway BK's doing her swaggery walk again and while we're at it WHO ELSE PROMINENTLY WEARS BLUE?

and now we're going to have a long, leisurely meeting to discuss because what is time? what is urgency?

"and our children can feel what it is to play in the sunlight" - which we already let them do because we take absolutely no safety precautions about living right next to a bay where dinosaurs regularly pop out of the water or swoop from the sky to devour our young

"Does anyone else wish to speak?" No, because we are all just elaborately dressed extras. We know our place.

I'm... skipping stuff.

So the pirates are boozing it up in the school, like they wanted to. I'm happy that someone got what they wanted.

I like that one warthog pirate!

Did a Salacious B. Crumb monkey just tip off the Mandos?

I know they want me to be excited for the big battle, I know they do... I'm just too grumpy. I have a glass of wine, though, so that's good. Recognisable salmon pink in colour, The Ned Pinot Gris 2022 showcases classic aromas of quince, pear drop and vibrant stonefruit. The palate is lush with juicy nectarine and Braeburn flavours supported by an underlying hint of spice that leads to an unctuous ripe finish. A versatile wine when it comes to food matching with its notable fruitiness and gentle acidity. Try pairing this silky wine with succulent chicken thighs added to a creamy, lemon fettuccine pasta sauce.

you know, I don't usually tolerate words like unctuous and succulent being thrust at me by a mere product description, but I'll allow it

So... there wasn't much point to the mossy pirate at all, was there? Unless he bailed out with a parachute, he blowed up.

yes, the Anzellans are very cute. Always a pleasure to see them.

You know why I have a problem with this effort to do a whole thing about Bo-Katan and reuniting Mandalore and everything? It's the problem of trying to link up with the sequels, which were made before The Mandalorian was a consideration and gave absolutely no hint that the Mandalorians were a consideration either. Did they just "retake Mandalore" and then become totally isolationist, neither fighting the First Order nor supporting the Resistance? Did they get wiped out for keeps? Where were they when shit went down? You don't have to engage with that if you're prepared to just tell a small story of one dude and his kid, and a personal saga of family and faith, friendship and love, but once you commit to doing a big political historical story, you've gotta and it seems doomed to be unsatisfactory.

anyway if people are just whipping their helmets off now I reckon Din should pop back to Tatooine and show Cobb his smile

[ace-reviews]

Spring 2017 Watchlist

It��s a month into the season, and while I do occasionally drop anime near the end (by which I mean I’ve done it all of twice, and one of those was because they kept molesting a child for laughs. And no I am never ever ever gonna stop bringing that up), by this point the sunk cost fallacy has kicked in, and anything that’s gonna get dropped, likely has been dropped. So, here’s what I’m watching this season.

100% Teacher Pascal

summary: a weird yellow thing becomes an elementary school teacher. the children, oddly enough, aren’t thrilled with this. hilarity ensues

Why are there no gifs of this series yet? C’mon, people, this shit is hilarious. Don’t make me have to put this on my underrated anime spotlight at the end of the season.

Alice & Zoroku

summary: magic little girl adopts a grumpy old man

This is one of those precious few anime that has managed to completely live up to my expectations. It’ll almost certainly end up in my top 5 of the season, and if it continues to satisfy it might just make it to the top 10 for the year.

Case Closed

summary: does anyone actually not know what this anime is about? it’s been running for 20 years. 

ugh, fine. it’s about a teenage detective who gets stuck as a 6-year-old

This is on my watchlist pretty much every season, though I will occasionally skip a few episodes if I get busy. It’s not like plot stuff happens often enough that I’m likely to miss anything important.

Dragon Ball Super

summary: okay, now i know for a goddamn fact y’all know what dragon ball is about. i’m not about to waste my time or insult y’all’s intelligence by telling you. if you need to know, just grab some random person on the street and ask them for a summary

Hey, ya see, Toei actually can care when they have a mind to. I’m not sure if they’re putting a lot of effort into this arc because there’s been some lukewarm responses to Super and they’re trying to keep the long-time fans interested, or if they accidentally appointed a director who gives a shit, but this arc has been looking pretty damn good. I hope they’ll keep it up, even though I know they won’t.

KADO: The Right Answer

summary: an alien offers humanity unlimited free energy because

This is a series that has actually managed to surpass my expectations, and not only because I’m now absolutely certain Shindo and Hanamori are fucking. I haven’t bothered to check, but I really hope this is only a one cour anime, because that’s only as long as Toei is ever willing to put effort into one of their series.

Kenka Bancho Otome -Girl Beats Boys-

summary: a girl switches places with a dude who looks just like her so she can beat up all the boys at her new school

This one seems to have already found a fanbase, which is great because it’s good stuff. I mean, look at that summary. That summary alone is good shit. I’m a little disgruntled that there were only 4 gifs in the search thing and none of them featured the main character, but what’m I gonna do? Start making my own gifs? Like I got time for that shit.

Makeruna!! Aku no Gundan!

summary: an inept invader tries to conquer earth, and no i didn’t just get that summary mixed up with invader zim’s

This is another one I couldn’t find a gif for. Why do y’all hate fun so much?

My Hero Academia

summary: a boy with no superpowers gets a superpower and goes to school to become a superhero

It’s one of my favorite shonen series so naturally it’s gonna be on my watchlist. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s the goodest of shit.

Ninja Girl & Samurai Master

summary: my daughter helps oda nobunaga do his thang

I’ve been digging this series since it first started last Fall. I hope it continues forever, even though it won’t because it has a plot and follows historical events.

Sakura Quest

summary: a group of young women work to revive tourism to a country town

Eyyyy, I haven’t dropped this one yet! Not that I’m planning on dropping it, but I wasn’t planning on dropping Hanasaku Iroha or Shirobako, either, so I’m still certain that something is going to occur any day now that will prevent me from continuing it.

Shonen Ashibe Go! Go! Goma-chan

summary: a little boy gets a pet seal after it falls off the back of a truck. hilarity ensues

Anyone else notice how the new ED makes Ashibe and Sugao look like separated lovers? That’s a bit weird, isn’t it? Yeah, toy ships are cute I guess, but you know what’s also cute? Acknowledging that 7-year-olds don’t give a shit about that crap.

The Royal Tutor

summary: a diminutive professor tries to teach 4 princes how not to be douchebags

Hello, yes, I would like to request more Kai, thank you kindly. I know he’s the quiet one and much like an actual classroom the loud ones will hog the attention, but Kai is a Very Good Boy and I like him the most.

Tiger Mask W

summary: a young man becomes a pro wrestler to get revenge on the guy who ended his mentor’s career

Boy howdy, the animation in this series has undergone a serious drop in quality since the first cour. See what I mean about Toei only caring long enough to build a fanbase? It still doesn’t look nearly as bad as One Piece did when I finally got annoyed enough with Toei’s shit to drop it (fun fact: there’s an alternate universe where the One Piece anime is handled by Production IG, and may I say? Fuck those guys in that universe), but I’d still prefer to see the wrestling moves instead of having to take the announcer’s word for it.

Eh, whatever. I still like this series, and it’s gotten me interested in watching actual pro wrestling, which is way more than can be said for pretty much any other sports anime ever.

World Fool News Part II

summary: a normal guy becomes a news anchor at a station full of weird people who cover weird stories

I watched the first season of this back when it first aired back in 2014, and now just as then it’s one of those series I enjoy while I’m watching and never think about when I’m not.

Although, one of the more recent episodes did provide the perfect reaction image to use next time you’ve got an dumbass trying to offer their unwanted two cents on an issue that isn’t about them:

in case you’d like the context, the woman telling him to shut up was trying to have a conversation with the lady anchor and that dude kept butting in

So you can go ahead to feel free to take that screencap and use it whenever you find it necessary.

WorldEnd: What Will You Do At the End of the World? Are You Busy? Will You Save Us?

summary: a human becomes the military protector for a bunch of magical girls

Hey, Crunchyroll, thanks for making me look like an asshole by including a shorter version of the title after I’d already complained that there was no shorter version of the title. And after I was kind enough to offer to write your summaries for you. See if I ever offer to help you out again.

ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK: The World Yamizukan

summary: an anthology horror series about aliens ‘n robots ‘n shit

I really want to like this one because anthology horror is my favorite genre of anything, but so far none of the stories have been particularly scary or interesting. It’s not officially dropped yet, but it’s teetering on the edge. We’ll see if I feel like continuing it or not on Sunday.

So there ya go. That’s my watchlist for the season. I did mention in the first impressions that I’d be sticking with The Laughing Salesman and Hinako Note, but I dropped the former because it’s a bit too formulaic (it’s not bad; I just get the point already), and the latter because it introduced a 9-year-old with tig ol’ biddies, which in and of itself isn’t too much of a problem since they do exist (though having breasts that large at that age is a pretty serious medical issue), but then they did the thing that’s way too common in anime where she fell down and the camera took the opportunity to leer at her, so I dropped it immediately. Which really sucks, cause I liked Hinako Note, but what’re ya gonna do. I’m not going through a repeat of the child molestation gag from last season.

Whelp, I’m not sure how to end this, so here’s a gif of The Rock since apparently today’s his birthday.

happy birthday, the rock