#one of the ones that could almost be considered finished
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Neighborly (Part 3/Ending)
mdni
Masterlist
Soap x reader x Ghost
Summary: You didn't know hate until Johnny MacTavish. (Or a really big build-up to cuddles and smut).
Warnings: SMUT, vaguely dom Ghost, unrealistic recovery time from near death experience/hypothermia, cuddling for medical reasons, implied medically-related stripping, implied anxiety disorder/depressive disorder, self-isolation, language, incredibly shitty communication and social competence.
The next day, Ghost had you write a list of things you needed from home. He assured you Johnny wouldn’t be stepping foot in your place, but that did leave you on your own with the Scotsman while the giant lumbered through the snow to pack an overnight bag on your behalf.
Your extremities still had fits of unpleasant tingles, but when Ghost examined your hands and feet, he assured you there shouldn’t be permanent damage. First degree frost bite at worst. He praised your choice in winter boots, thick socks, and heavy mittens.
You’d asked how he knew.
“Had some experience. Nothing to worry about. Trust me.”
Instantly flustered, you’d looked down at the huge socks over your hands, fighting away the question of which man they belonged to, and assured him you did. Stupid, since you barely knew him, but you did, and much more than you should.
It didn’t matter if the man was handsome under that mask or ugly as sin. His voice did things to you. It made you want to sin so much he looked like an angel. And the way he handled you in bed, if only platonically, woke your libido from hibernation. Which was un-fucking-fortunate, all things considered. You’d be a horrible lay at the moment with your chapped skin and lingering exhaustion.
Besides, your neighbors were definitely in a relationship.
As you dozed after a cup of sugary tea, Ghost stepped away to speak with Johnny. You could see through the open door when the big man seized his partner by the back of the neck, leaning forehead-to-forehead as he rumbled something in that intoxicating voice. The mask didn’t come off, but you’d definitely spied a tongue stretching the knit to stab into Johnny’s mouth. Hands went to waists, drifted to asses, displayed affection they probably didn’t realize was so public.
You tried very hard to actually go to sleep after that. It wasn’t like you’d meant to creep on them. And they were the ones who chose to make out in front the invalid’s open damn door.
But it put your thoughts in a tailspin, and everything overwhelmed you. A near death experience preceded by robbery and car problems made for a long day. Waking up in your neighbor’s boyfriend’s arms and realizing they’d seen you naked took the knot of emotions and twisted. Then there was the fact that Ghost was likely elbow deep in your underwear drawer – again for platonic reasons – and it wound you up in the worst way. You were a fucking mess. A wad of feelings without an outlet.
You needed to get off and have a good cry. Either or both. And you weren’t in a position to have either.
When you’d suggested going home, Ghost shut you down before you even finished the thought.
“We’ll take care of you. Owe you, yeah? Besides, you’re still recovering.”
So, you wrote the damn list, asking for your comfy clothes, your toothbrush, phone charger, and other necessities. You resisted asking for your favorite throw blanket or the heavy, knitted monstrosity you tried knitting a few years back that was almost a sweater. Nothing you loved was safe around Johnny, and you didn’t want to be a burden, anyway.
Fuck.
Right.
You were a burden.
When you felt a bit better, you’d handle the empty mugs on the nightstand. What else could you clean? Efficient as Ghost was, he was babysitting for two adults. There must be a mess to clean, laundry to fold, something.
You’d make it right. When you’d put some distance between your waking thoughts and death’s shadow.
Trying to think your way out of the lingering pain with your thighs clenched and your glare drilling into the far wall, you almost managed to dissociate for a beat.
Until he knocked.
“Hey.”
Fucking Johnny.
You rolled over, glowering with the blankets up to your nose. Ghost should hurry and come back.
“’M so sorry, hen.” Failing to take the hint, Johnny inched into the room. His folded arms and heavy frown left him looking severe. The boyish illusion was missing. He was all bulging muscles, faint scars, and dog tags.
You’d wondered more than once if he was military. If he was, you’d bet anything Ghost was, too.
“I almost died,” you mumbled, speaking through the blankets. “I would’ve helped with whatever you needed if you’d fucking asked.”
His eyes snapped shut. His head dropped. Deep breaths lifted his shoulders, and he looked like he was in genuine pain.
Good. That made two of you.
“You’re an asshole.”
“Aye.”
“You’re a jerk.”
“Aye.”
“You almost got me killed.”
“Aye.” Eyes wide, hands pressed to the foot of the bed, he towered over you, bubbling over. “I’ll make it up to you. Whatever it takes.”
He was practically panting, trying to escape his guilt. Just one more thing he wanted from you: absolution. A knight seeking a quest of atonement.
If he could take away the memories of betrayal and isolation as you felt your mind break and your body fail, that would work. You almost found enough spite in your heart to say it.
“I thought we were friends.” Half confession, half accusation.
“We are, bonnie, I swear –”
“No, we’re not.”
He clenched the blankets, white-knuckled with wet eyes that promised rain.
“Bonnie –”
“Stand down, Soap.”
You both turned to find Ghost peering in from the hall. He held a duffel bag, lightly dusted in snow that hadn’t quite stopped falling. Doordash had arrived with your order.
He set the bag on the end of the bed, nudging Johnny aside and nodding towards the open door. Johnny got the message, slinking out with his tail between his legs.
“Brought your things. Feel up to a shower? It would probably help at this stage. I’ll set out some towels for you.”
“Thanks.” You ignored Johnny, grateful for the escape Ghost offered from both the conversation and the room. “That sounds great.”
“I’ll get things sorted, then.”
He left you to choose your things from the bag, disappearing into the ensuite you had yet to explore. You got what you needed. Toiletries. Robe. Toothbrush. Just the basics. You’d address your hair later. And… everything else, really. You weren’t ready to see your clothes sitting folded in a tidy pile on your neighbors’ bathroom counter, even less so on their bed.
Ghost reappeared, and he pointed out the towels he’d prepared. “Assume your shower’s like ours.”
“Probably. Thanks.” Again. “I’ll just be a minute.”
“Take your time.”
A nice sentiment, but you really couldn’t. You practically jumped out of your borrowed clothes as the water heated, and you got in when it was just north of tepid. You would not use all their hot water. By now, they had to be running on generator power. The power always went out for a day or two when the big one hit. All it took was one tree.
Still, once the sweat and stress-stink washed off, your hand lingered over your chest, an echo of your host’s. He hadn’t gotten frisky. He’d been entirely respectful. But if his hand had strayed even a little…
Or a lot.
Shit. Fuck. No.
You could not get off in your neighbors’ shower. That was out of the question. Even if they didn’t hear you, it was… rude.
Your core ached, stirred from passive aggression to full on fit by the water and your overactive imagination.
Enough. You were clean. You needed to stop.
So you finished your shower (and nothing else) in record time. You wrapped yourself in your robe, wondering if Ghost had packed any sports bras comfortable enough to sleep in.
Both men were waiting for you when you emerged.
“Uh…” Were you supposed to get dressed in the bathroom? Shit. You should’ve…
“Thought it was about time you got that apology,” Ghost said. He stepped closer. His fingertips brushed over the back of your hand, conjuring goosebumps like magic. “You’re cold again.”
“I’m fine.”
“Oh, aye.” Johnny winked. Caught himself. Cleared his throat. “Really am sorry. Wanna prove it. First step towards reparations, aye?”
He inched closer as he spoke, and Ghost stepped back to give him space. You held your ground, but only out of confusion. You technically had more skin covered than you had since they rescued you, but you were hyper aware of the loose knot holding the robe closed.
“What did you have in mind?”
Tea? A year’s subscription to a meal delivery service? A note?
His eyes flicked to your lips. “Thought I could warm you up.”
Your brain sputtered. It even made a sound like your engine had when it ran out of gas.
“I don’t think I understand.”
“I think you do.”
He wasn’t touching you. Yet. But his breath fanned over your lips. His body heat reached through your robe.
His partner was in the fucking room. “You’re in a relationship.”
“Already discussed it.”
You turned to Ghost, shocked, but he was relaxed. Almost casual about his boyfriend seducing the neighbor in his bedroom.
“We both like ya, bonnie,” Johnny whispered in your ear.
You shivered.
It sounded like such a bad idea.
But you wanted it. You wanted a real apology, and a reason to forget it all ever happened.
“How about it?” Johnny was hovering. Waiting for the green light. “Let us make you feel good?”
One more time, you looked to Ghost. You had to be sure. You wanted his permission. His confirmation. He nodded. So did you.
With one hand on your cheek, drawing your attention back to him, and one on the back of your neck, your neighbor pressed you into a kiss. There was no demure pecking. No sweet warm-up. Lips, tongue, and teeth leapt into the fray at the first trumpet blast.
A gasp gave him a window of opportunity, and soon you were eagerly kissing him back, yanking on his stupid mohawk for vengeance and a pitiful attempt at control.
Johnny licked a moan out of your mouth. He scoured your whimpers clean, gulping them down with a happy rumble.
“The best apologies are given on your knees, don’t you think Johnny?”
A silent exchange passed between the men, and Johnny was all smiles.
“Couldn’t agree more. Here, sit down, pretty girl.” He arranged you on the edge of the bed, dropping to his knees to keep the kisses coming. He plucked the robe’s knot free and tugged it open. His lips stayed on yours as fabric fell away from your shoulders, legs, and chest, pooling around your wrists. There was no time for the usual, momentary panic of finding yourself naked for the first time with a new romantic partner.
One more peck, and a whispered, “Lie back, bonnie.” And he was working down your sternum, pushing your knees apart. “Gonnae give you an apology you never forget.”
The apology came letter by letter, spelled through your folds. The S snaked around your entrance, looping over your clit. The O stayed there, spinning around your bud. The Rs wandered, following the O’s path before tracing each side of your entrance. The Y started at your base and swept up, teasing either side of your clit in turns.
He said it over and over again. The clever rhythm had him smiling against you as you tugged at his mohawk, trying to chase each sensation. But his hands were strong, and he kept you spread and stationary. At the mercy of his repentance.
The Os never circled long enough, and his tongue dipped inside just enough to remind you how much you ached for more on every Y.
It was driving you crazy, and tears of frustration gathered, blurring his self-satisfied gaze. You’d had it with him. Even when he went down on you, he took his own pleasure first, playing games you had no spoons left to enjoy. You wanted him to take care of you like he’d promised. You wanted to lose yourself. Wanted to feel desired. Wanted to feel good.
Your whining plea didn’t sound at all sexy to your own ears, but the way the tongue shook with suppressed laughter between your legs proved someone was having a good time.
Solid heat you’d learned to recognize in your sleep slipped up behind you. Long, thick fingers petted back your sweaty hair, and a hand pulled you back, urging you to relax into a solid chest. Ghost, once again coming your rescue.
“Be good, Johnny,” he rumbled. “Stop teasing.”
Eyes glinting, your tormentor’s face appeared. He licked his lips with a wolf’s fervor, eyes flashing from yours to Ghost’s.
“Yes, sir.” His voice had gone rough. Deep. You shuddered, and he squeezed your thighs. “Mind givin’ me a hand, LT?”
Ghost huffed, almost a dry laugh, and his hands left you. You had a mind to complain again, but then his grip appeared under your knees, lifting and spreading even farther than Johnny wheedled earlier. You were obscene. You were desperate.
“You doing alright? Let us make you feel better. Give Johnny the chance to start paying you back for all the trouble he’s caused, yeah?”
One hand clamped onto his arm, unsure whether you planned to push it away or simply cling on. As you vacillated, Johnny craned forward, blew on you, and you spasmed. Your free hand jumped back to Ghost’s balaclava, and you knew what you wanted.
“Yeah. I’m alright. Please.”
“You heard the woman.”
“Happy to serve.” Johnny grinned, nearly feral, and lunged forward with fresh determination.
Now free, his fingers pulled you open, giving him better access to the mess he’d made with all his teasing. His tongue pressed hard, spearing deep as it could reach. It worked relentlessly, trying to scoop out every last drop, but the slick only grew, and he returned to your clit.
Ghost held you at an angle that defied your attempts to ride Johnny’s face, and you turned into a twitching, writhing mass in his lap. When his partner started suckling your bud, you shrieked, and Ghost crooned. His thumbs worked circles in your flesh, soothing the edge of delirium rising with your pleasure.
“Good girl. There you go. Finally letting us take care of you.”
A finger pressed inside, petting and curling as it hunted for the right spot. Every muscle rolled, trying to participate, to join the dance, and then Johnny found what he was looking for, and you screamed.
He’d tormented you so long. You didn’t have a chance to give a warning or brace for the snap. Your orgasm practically exploded, and for a minute you couldn’t even breathe. Everything froze, trying to catch and keep the high as your vision went white and your ears rang. Your thoughts ran slow and thick, like honey in winter, just soft enough for Ghost’s words to penetrate.
“How you feelin’? Rung out or ready for more?”
What a stupid question. Appreciated, but stupid. You’d ask for more until your voice gave out.
You consciously, carefully unclenched your fingers from his mask, from his sleeve. He still held you open, shivering and bare apart from Johnny’s face, still pressing slow kisses with tongue and teeth anywhere he was tempted to taste. Glimmers of firelight caught in the arousal smeared over his cheeks.
“More.”
Johnny muttered something very Scottish you couldn’t quite make out through the fading white noise in your head. But your eyes worked perfectly well, and he put on a show, yanking off his shirt, showing off like he used to when he shoveled the drive.
“Tell her, Johnny,” Ghost prompted. “Give her everything you’ve been thinking since you moved in here.”
“Fuck.” The Scotsman worked his belt free as talked, staring at you. His eyes roved, chasing the paths his tongue had traveled, rising to your heaving chest, to your face, so close to his LT’s commanding gaze. “Heard the neighbor was a hermit. Expected – doesnae matter. Prettiest hermit I’d ever fuckin’ seen. Showin’ up with biscuits and makin’ friendly.” The belt swished free from its loops and clattered to the ground. “Had me graspin’ after my manners with one look. An' after I tried catchin’ your eye in the snow, you took care of me an all.” He popped his button free. The zipper went down. “Wanted to bring ya inside and make things cozy. Had to wait for Ghost. Had to let ‘im see ya. Let him understand.” His hand slipped under his clothes, bringing a swollen red tip peeking over the elastic of his underwear.
“Should’a heard him on the phone,” Ghost murmured in your ear as Johnny pushed down his remaining clothes, already hard and weeping for you. “Thought he was gonna come to just the thought of you some nights. Started giving me ideas before I even had a chance to thank you for minding him.”
Naked, practically glowing in the fire, Johnny swooped down for a kiss. He squeezed a breast, thumbing the nipple relentlessly until you broke for air. Everything about him hummed with energy. A livewire sparking over the street. “Wanna fuck you. Please? Please let me fuck you, bonnie. Sweetest little cunt I’ve ever had. Please?”
Standing where he was, and held as you were, his dick rubbed against you as he spoke.
You were going to combust, and you’d enjoy every fucking second of it. All thoughts of snow and ice had melted. Everything had turned to steam.
“Yes.” He’d dived to work a hickey into your neck during your brief hesitation, and you fought to even whisper your answer. “Please.”
He lined up, rocking shallowly once, twice, and pushing home in a long, burning stroke. You yelped, and he moaned, both going still until the sting had passed. By the time you nodded your permission, he had his hands on your hips, trembling with need.
He fucked you like he was dying. Like you were his last meal and the only lifeline thrown in a storm. It was months of yearning, months of confusion and false starts and greedy hunger that spilled over and burned you like hot wax. There was no shelter – not that you wanted any – and you once again seized Ghost’s arms because they were the only fucking thing he’d let you reach. They would take care of you. You weren’t allowed to do any of the work. Not in that bed. Not that night.
Johnny keened, huffing and growling and whimpering as he went faster and faster. He brought you so far. So close. Just a little more.
But not enough.
His hips stuttered, his head bowed, and his warm release splashed out.
“Fuck.” Blushing from exertion – and probably something else – he looked up from where he was still balls-deep to sheepishly meet your eyes. “I swear, never finished so fast in my life. Didn’t get you there in time, did I?”
He pulled out, and you dropped your head back on Ghost’s shoulder with a wail of frustration. You were too close to stop now. You reached down to touch yourself, but before you could rub one out, Ghost shifted. He moved closer to the edge of the bed, dropping one of your legs to swat your hand away from your clit.
When you didn’t fight him, he reached behind you, and you both heard and felt him work his cock free.
“May I?”
Too horny and too frustrated, you nodded wildly. “I said I trusted you.”
“Glad to hear it.”
He didn’t pick up where Johnny left off. Thick fingers that had really only held you up to this point reached down, groping over breast and belly to reach your center. Long strokes kept the spark in your belly alive as he ran his hand over you, lubing his fingers in the mixed spend.
One dipped in. He paused, considering. Then a second joined.
“Minute I saw you at the door, knew you were a carer,” he said. “Knew it’d been so long since someone took care of you that you’d forgotten how a good neighbor should act.” The fingers curled, scissored, working you with clear and vulgar intent. “Wanted to be more than neighbors. Had to close that door quick. Every filthy thing Johnny said hit me, and I wasn’t fit company.” The full implications of that didn’t quite hit you in the moment, but a hazy vision of him watching you through the windows, palming an erection sent your cunt fluttering.
A third finger. All together, they were wider than Johnny’s cock. A deep breath helped. The thumb flicking over your clit like a moth drawn to a porchlight did more. “Had to figure out how to fix all the fuck ups then. So many delays. Took too damn long.” He pulled his hand free, denying you release.
“You said you’d take care of me.”
“We will, sweatheeart. Easy now.” His hand hovered in front of you, fingers spread so he could watch his good work cling and drip like a liquid spiderweb between his digits. “Fuck. You’re perfect.”
He spread his knees, pushing yours wider, and he lifted you up until his dick rubbed over your entrance. Even without looking, you could tell he was massive. You’d need to relax. You’d need to trust him.
Unlike Johnny, he took things slow. He read every flutter and clench, every gasp and hiss like he was fluent in your personal language of carnality. The stretch constantly rode the edge of too much, but it touched places no one else had reached, stuffed your senses full of bliss. And he was so careful. Tactical.
When he’d sheathed himself, his hands slid to your thighs, positioning you in a similar way as before.
“Think you’ve got more apologizing to do, Johnny.”
“Yes, sir.”
You’d closed your eyes at some point, overwhelmed by everything Ghost had to give, but you snapped to attention when a tongue ran over your clit. Johnny smiled up at you, pleased as punch. Devious fucker.
Ghost thrust, and the sound he pushed out of your mouth was pure filth. Helpless, you made it again with the second push. It happened again and again until it became an unbroken string of praise and pleas. Johnny made a game of keeping his tongue on you, pulling back, going still so Ghost would bounce you along it as he drove into you.
A hand pressed over your lower belly, and you moaned in tandem with Johnny.
“Fuck, Simon. Can feel you moving in her.”
After Johnny’s performance, Ghost clearly had something to prove. The first time you came, you clenched so hard on his dick it actually slowed him down. You thought that would be it, that he’d ride high to the end having achieved his goal. Instead, he kept going, fucking you brainless as Johnny actually giggled below. A second climax left you boneless, and by the third you’d entered a fugue state. Ghost slowed down until you could respond (I’m okay.) and then he drove you over the edge until you forgot how to count. Johnny offered kitten licks and praise throughout. When Ghost finally finished - pulling you flush to his chest and panting in your ear (Good fucking woman.) it was Johnny’s attention to your clit that broke you. He sucked and worked his tongue under your clitoral hood like he was sucking nectar from a honeysuckle blossom.
But you were tapped.
“Can’t. Too much.”
Johnny disengaged immediately, and two pairs of hands lifted you from where you sat impaled. Soft words and warm washcloths bathed you in the afterglow. Gentle suggestions guided you under the covers, and a familiar touch turned you to rest with your back to a heated chest. Warmth crowded in from the front, too, murmured joy and praise leaking through the haze to find you.
You didn’t even realize as you slept that you’d found something far better than a good neighbor. But that understanding would come with the dawn, a cup of tea, and a suggestion to go thrifting when the weather broke so you could find a matching set of truly hideous mugs.
#fic: neighborly#ghoap x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#141 x reader
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a better father / Aaron Hotchner
summary. All Hotch wanted was to get a second chance to be a better dad. And now that you were offering him this chance, he fears he might have failed already.
words count. 2,465
a/n. I got this idea with the episode from season when Haley comes and she told Hotch that he forgot about an appointment for Jack and I was like omg I need to do something that so here's sad Aaron again
Being an FBI agent and a dad was sometimes hard to combine. Hotch knew something about that.
He had a lot of regrets about Jack. Not being there much when he was a baby, not seeing his first steps, hearing his first word, and missing so many memories that were nicely caught on camera by Haley. Things he could never make up for.
And no matter how often Jack could tell him that he didn’t hold any grudge against his dad, Hotch still felt bad most of the time. Wishing he could get a second chance to be a better dad.
At some point, he accepted that it would never happen. He was getting older, and the morality wanted him to date women close to his age. Which wasn’t a bad thing at all. He had wonderful dates with them. But none of them wanted to have a child. Some already had one, some never wanted to get pregnant, and some simply couldn’t. And of course it was never a cause of a breakup—or stop seeing them, because Hotch didn’t date most of them. Hotch simply accepted he won’t be a dad again.
Then he met you.
You were an old friend of JJ's that he met at her birthday. Your work made you travel around the world for many years, which explained your absence during the past parties and you being unknown to most of the team. But you were back in town, ready to meet new people and start a new life.
Hotch never believed in fate.
But he was sure he was destined to meet you.
You were so full of life, acting like a ray of sunshine in every room you were in. And not that he considered himself dark, but he had to admit that his life and job had quite an impact on how he perceived himself. As someone who wasn’t very funny or joyful to be around. Not a very good dad or a nice partner. And sometimes, not even a great boss.
His life was pretty much in black and white. And when you came around, you brought colors with you.
It started that very first night, when you spent almost an hour sitting outside with Aaron. Drinking and watching the stars.
“Shouldn’t you be with JJ?” He asked after you finished a conversation about your favorite countries to visit and the one you recommended for someone like him.
“Don’t know,” you replied, shrugging. “I like being with you.”
Aaron could blame the alcohol for the redness on his cheeks, but you both knew it was insecurity and flattering. It’s been a long time since someone pointed out how they liked spending time with him. He felt…alive, knowing that you wanted to be around him.
And you weren’t lying for a single second. “You’re an interesting man, Aaron Hotchner. You need to let people see that.” you added, giving him a little shoulder bump. You kept your shoulder against his for a second. You loved the little smile your words created and the sparks that appeared in his eyes.
You felt lucky that you were one of the few people he offered a glimpse of the real him.
It started with coffee dates once a week. Before he went to work, and while you were still discovering your new life back in town, you met at the same coffee shop for an hour. You talked about everything, more life than work. You wanted to see Aaron, and not Hotch, the man JJ told you about.
Even if she gave you such a good description of him that you were already willing to give him your heart without any hesitation.
You loved discovering new things about him every week.
Each smile was breaking the wall around him.
Each time he put his hand on yours was him installing himself in your life.
And each kiss was you giving your heart to each other.
These coffee dates were still a thing.
They just happened every day, at the place you were now sharing together.
And not only did you give him a lot of things already, you offered him the chance he thought wouldn’t come again, which he sadly accepted.
To be a dad again.
You were four months pregnant, and it wasn’t always as easy as it seemed. Either the stress that comes from work or the fact Aaron still felt like he was too old for this, for you. But he was trying his best to make things as perfect as they could be. He was leaving the BAU earlier than before, and every day off was for Jack and for you.
And every night, he made sure to have at least half an hour with you in the baby’s room to talk about the future.
But sometimes, dealing with both situations can be difficult. And today was another proof.
What was supposed to be a calm office day turned out to be more rough and animated. A new case came in the morning and turned out to be in town.
Hotch was part of the team that went out to catch the unsub. He was going less on the field these days. There was a selfish reason behind that: he didn’t want to stress you or miss anything important with the baby. But the case being in Virginia, he took the opportunity to follow Spencer and Emily outside while JJ stayed with Penelope, like the good old days.
“God, I wish every case were as simple as this one.” Emily said when they came back to the car, the unsub was with the police officers. And Hotch had to admit it was pretty easy this time. He couldn’t wait to tell you about this one, how good it felt to be back there.
He could already hear you say something like, “We’ll tell our baby how their dad is a superhero,” which reminded him of when Jack used to see him like that. He hoped your baby would feel the same about him.
What if they hated him? What if they blame him for being away, for not doing enough? What if someone terrible happened to them because of his job?
Most of the time, Hotch managed to put these bad ideas away. And when he couldn’t, he found comfort in your arms. That’s what he needed right now.
He only had one thing to do: check on JJ and Penelope once he was back at the office to conclude his report and make sure everybody could go back home soon. Him included.
When Hotch entered Penelope’s office, he was welcomed by her confused and surprised face. “Sir? What are you doing here?” she asked. She got up and took a few steps towards him to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating.
“What do you mean what am I doing here?” he asked, even more confused than her.
And the confusion just kept growing when he looked around and noticed Penelope was alone. “Where is JJ?”
“Hmm, at the hospital?” From her tone, Hotch could tell that Penelope assumed he was supposed to know about her absence and the reason behind it. “[Y/N] called her?” This wasn’t a real question, because Penelope was there when you called. She heard you. But she couldn’t understand why she would know about that before Hotch.
And he couldn’t believe what he just heard. Sure, it made sense that you would call JJ if you needed help. She was one of your emergency contacts. But why wouldn’t you call him?
Looking for his phone to check on you, Hotch realized his mistake.
He forgot his phone at his office. And spend the whole day assuming you were fine.
Before Penelope could explain the situation, or maybe she did, but he didn’t listen, Hotch ran to his office. He probably jostled some people in the rush, and there was a high possibility that he forgot to apologize. But it wasn’t his priority. Especially not when he grabbed his phone and saw the notification.
Six missing calls.
Around ten texts.
All from you.
You’ve got awful cramps when you wake up, and nothing would make them go away. You spent most of your day in bed, crying—which you didn’t tell Aaron, but he could hear the tears in your voice in one of your voicemails. You were asking him to come and bring you to the hospital to make sure the baby was doing fine.
But he never answered.
“I called JJ; she’s coming. Please don’t worry and text me when you see this. I love you,” said the last one.
When he dialed your phone, Hotch met your answering machine.
He kept trying during the drive to the hospital. But all he could hear was your joyful voice asking to leave a message and that you would call back later.
Never has Aaron needed to hear your voice so badly as right now.
The hospital wasn’t too far away from the bureau. Which didn’t prevent him from driving way above the limits. Not that he cared this time.
Even if Aaron had prepared his speech in the car to appear calm, he lost his words right when he made his first step in the hospital. Being there was scary. Hopefully, when he arrived, the first person he saw was JJ. He rushed to her, almost scaring her from the way he grabbed her arm.
“Where is she? How is she? And the baby?”
“Slow down, breathe for a second,” she replied, putting a hand on top of his to try and reassure him. “She is fine. And the baby too.”
The seven words that he needed to hear the most.
“I was supposed to bring her home, but she’ll be happy to have you.” JJ added with a sweet smile. If someone could understand Aaron’s position here, it was her.
Once she indicated to him the room you were staying in and he introduced himself to the nurse, Aaron rushed to meet you.
He was relieved to see you, for real. Sitting on the bed with your eyes closed. He took a second to look at you. Aaron hated that feeling in his stomach. He didn’t realize that until now, there was a quiet thought in his head saying that maybe he wouldn’t see you again.
But you were there, looking better than he imagined you would.
And when you opened your eyes and saw the man you love in front of you, you lit up the whole room with your eyes. “Aaron, you’re here!”
“Of course, I am,” he sighed, with a tired smile. He finally walked up to you and accepted the arms you were opening for him. It’s been a long time since a hug had felt this good for him. He let it go for a few seconds, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of having you close to him like that. He imagined you were home, in your bed, on a Sunday morning. Not at the hospital.
Then everything hit him back. You, being sick and pregnant. Him, not being here for you.
Aaron kissed your forehead before cupping your face with his hands. “What happened?”
“The doctor said it wasn’t serious. Sometimes you get cramped and sick during the second semester. Basically, the baby is telling me to relax and stop overworking.” You replied with a soft laugh that wasn’t effective enough to stop him from frowning. “Love, we are both fine.”
“But I wasn’t there.”
It hurt you how his voice sounded so sad.
You heard Aaron speaking when he was physically hurt. And you already hated the way he would contain the pain by gritting his teeth, making his voice sound deeper and heavier. You always thought he was blaming himself for not being careful enough, which explained the tone.
But this time it was different. Aaron sounded like he hated himself for what he thought was a disappointment for you. But for him, mostly. His voice was broken, almost unintelligible. Like he didn’t want to be heard. And deep down, even if it was a part of his life you’d barely ever talked about, you knew where this was coming from.
"Aaron," you said softly, asking him to focus on you and not his pain. "I'm good. We're good.”
When he finally looked up to you, you met his red eyes. “These moments, they’ll happen again, you know.”
He let out a sad sigh. “That’s not what I want.”
“I know, but you can’t blame yourself for that. This is your job. And we all accept it,” you said. You took one of his hands to put on your rounded belly. “She does too.”
Aaron opened his mouth to reply and argue on how this wasn’t the family dynamic he wanted for his second child. Not again.
But no sound left his mouth. Which made you smile. This was exactly the reaction you expected from your so serious and composed boyfriend.
“She?” he finally replied, this time the glow in his eyes being replaced by happiness and surprise.
“The doctor did an ultrasound to make sure everything was alright. And this little princess inside finally decided to stop the mystery around herself.” You explained, but it would be a miracle if Aaron even heard you. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction: his mouth open, his eyes going from yours to your belly like he was trying to comprehend what you said. “We’re having a baby girl, Aaron.” This time, you couldn’t contain your own tears.
This was all Aaron needed to put all his stress behind. He couldn’t think about his job and everything that came with it when now he knew that in a few months, he would hold in his arms the miracle he couldn’t wish for anymore. A daughter that will be the result of the love he had for you. A daughter that he will love as much as he loves you. As much as he loves Jack.
Even if he still couldn’t speak, you could tell he was as excited as you by the situation. But there was still one thing that was waiting to be clarified.
“And wanna know the best part?” you asked, slowly caressing your cheek. “She’ll be the biggest daddy’s girl and will always love you. When you’re home, at work, or away. You’ll hold a special place in her heart, forever, Aaron Hotchner.”
Being an FBI agent and a dad was sometimes hard to combine. But Aaron knew that he was fighting alone to find the perfect balance between both.
He had you. And a perfect family to make sure he was a great man and a great father.
#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner criminal minds#thomas gibson#hotchner#hotch#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#aaron hotchner fluff#ssa aaron hotchner#bau#aaron hotchner one shot#aaron hotchner fic#hotchner x reader#hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x female reader#aaron hotchner fanfic#my writing
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CAT & MOUSE
sevika x female reader
synopsis: sevika happens to be a regular at the brothel you work at under your dear friend babette. she asks for you every so often but the answer is always the same, you don’t take any new clients but that doesn’t seem to soothe the aching itch she has to indulge in you. you’re not oblivious, you notice her too, looking at you in the halls just before the doors to her rented room closes or spending no more than two seconds observing you when you pass each other in the halls. when the chance arises and the restraint finally flees, neither of you spare a moment to resist the temptation.
note: comments and reblogs appreciated<3 !
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The air is thick with smoke from the common cigars many customers take a liking to. You stride through the halls, observing the customers still taking part in their paid pleasures of the brothel. You worked a long week and tonight, you were let off a bit earlier than your usual. You’d collected your cash and wrapped yourself up in a trench coat to prepare for the cold breeze of the dark night.
On your way out, you happen to glance into one of the rooms with the curtains still opened. The moment you did, your gaze was not left unmatched. The regular who made herself more than noticeable with you met her eyes with yours when you looked at her. Her hair pulled back messily into a short half up half down ponytail. She pulled the cigar away from her lips when she saw you and almost instantly disregarded the paid woman in front of her.
She looked as though she was waiting for you to say something but you made no effort to do that. Her head tilted to the side slightly to get a better look as you walked past, you grinned to yourself as you carried on about your business. You finished out the way through the hall and up the stairs before pushing the door open to the undercity.
You begin making your way through the streets, walking at a normal pace until you begin to hear much faster footsteps from behind you. You ignore it at first until it continues for a little while longer, you turn your head over your shoulder and find Sevika following after you. You smirk at the sight and turn down the closest alleyway for her to follow you in to, you turn around to face her.
“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” You cross your arms over your chest with a grin, standing before her tall and large frame.
“Isn’t it obvious? Have I not made my wants clear enough for you?” She smirks with her brows raised and her head tilted at the of sight of you.
“I suppose you have. That doesn’t mean that I want the same thing though, now does it?” You remarked as she positioned herself closer to you, shrinking the gap you’d kept up.
“By all means…tell me you’re not interested and I’ll leave. Simple as that,” she says calmly, towering over you from where you stood.
You considered all things for a moment but most of all you allowed your curiosity to run free. You observed her before you and let your mind wonder what it was like to feel those lips of her against your skin. You wondered what kind of woman she was in the bedroom, you’d only ever heard good things from the other workers she visited. A part of you wondered what it would be like for you, you had no doubt that she’d fuck you in ways that you needed. The thought alone made you shiver a bit, shiver with excitement.
“Come on,” you granted and turned around to lead her through the alley.
Your house wasn’t far from here, you could feel the anticipation rising in you as you walked through the streets to get back home. You pulled your keys out from your purse and unlocked the door. You walked inside and shut the light on, she entered in after you, looking around as you closed the door after her.
“Make yourself comfortable. I have to change,” you gestured towards your couch before leaving the room and heading into your bedroom.
Despite having a guest over, you showered and changed into more comfortable clothing. You had a rule about wearing your clothes from the brothel inside you home and you assumed that if she wanted you bad enough, she’d still be waiting on the couch when you got out.
And she was.
She turned her head to you as you emerged from the bedroom in a black slip on dress. The trim was lace and you smelled of cinnamon and vanilla from the oil you rubbed on. She stared at you with a smirk reaching her face as you walked over to her. She rubs her jaw as you walk around the couch and stand before her legs as she sits manspread.
“I hear that you ask for me…often,” you inform with your gaze fixiated on the rising and sinking of her chest.
“Do you not think you offend my coworkers when you ask them for me while you’re with them?” You question teasingly as you sink to your knees before her.
“I do think. I just don’t care,” she answers and her boldness makes your heart flutter in your chest as you put your hands on her knees as she speaks and lean forward.
You can smell the cologne that encapsulates her, a certain musk and coolness to it that ignites something in you. You just barely brush your lips against her neck, teasing her with just the light feeling of you being so close. She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth as you pull away, only to grab ahold of you by your neck and yank you back towards her.
“I don’t like to be teased. You know what I came here for,” she corrects with her face in front of yours and you can only smirk.
You knew she didn’t like being teased, your coworkers had talked of how she never seemed to have them pleasure her, it was only the other way around. You found challenge in that. Her hand came close to yours before she pulled you in for a hungry sloppy kiss. Her head tilting to the side as she kisses you as hungrily as you were for her.
Out of sheer curiosity and determination for her tells, you moan into her mouth as you kiss. You can feel her beginning to smile through the kiss at the sound of your moans. You work your hands down her muscular thick thighs and move them up a little until you find the button to her pants. You undo it and begin to unzip her pants until she breaks from the kiss and glances down at your hands over her crotch.
“What do you think you’re doing, pretty lady?” She chuckles a little at your hands fumbling with her zipper.
You don’t answer her, it’s obvious. You push your lips back onto hers from climbing up onto her lap where she raises her hips a little to adjust. Her hands slide down to your waist and another hand down to your ass. Your lips smacked against hers as your hips bucked a little against her in a strong need for her. Though before you satisfied your own needs, you satisfied your curiosity first.
You slid your hand back down, inside her underwear where you met your fingers with the warmth between her legs. She broke from the kiss to chuckle a little as she felt your fingers slide between her wet folds.
“Eager one, aren’t you?” She allows your fingers to work between her folds before she slides her tongue in your mouth.
She gets wetter as the kiss deepens and your fingers move slower, you pull apart from the kiss with a slight whine. A string of spit breaks upon your separation and you make sure to focus on the look in her eyes as you shove a finger inside her soaking cunt. He brows narrow out, she clenches her jaw with a slight grunt as you shove in another finger right after. She’s tight around your finger, tense as ever so you lean forward and kiss along her neck until you find her sweet-spot.
She doesn’t loosen up when you kiss along her neck so you try other things. You bite her neck for a little but that doesn’t work either, your fingers are thrashing in her until your chest brushes against hers and you feel her hardened nipple rub against yours.
You smirk a little before using your other hand to pull up her shirt, revealing her bare chest. You tilt your head down and take a brown nipple in your mouth, only to suck and tug at it as hard as ever. She holds back a moan, watching you suck at her chest with so much eagerness she thought she might be outmatched for hunger.
You begin to fell her cunt loosening up the longer you suck. You look up with those beady eyes of her as she becomes a groaning mess, wet on your fingers and wet in your mouth. You catch your breath a little and watch spit run down her hardened nipple before you brush your thumb against it.
“I didn’t tell you to stop.” She groans and latches her hand to the back of your head, shoving your mouth back onto her nipple.
You can’t help but grin as you watch and feel her unraveling at your touch. You worked your fingers faster inside her as you took more of her nipple into your mouth, sucking hard. She’s fights the urge to moan as loudly as you know she wants to, your coworkers had said she didn’t make much noise other than grunts. All the approval and satisfaction was said to be in her eyes but here she was with her head tilted back and her bottom lip bit.
Your curiosity doesn’t stop there, you release her nipple from her mouth with a pop sound and lower yourself onto your knees again. You grab the waistband of her pants and her boxers and begin to yank them down her legs with so much anticipation you can feel yourself growing wetter by the minute.
Her shirt falls back over her chest and she watches you practically drooling at the sight of her wet cunt in front of you. You toss her clothes elsewhere without concern and pant a little before bringing your head between her separated thighs. Just as you’re about to lick, she yanks your head back and tilts her head to the side while looking at you.
“So greedy…I didn’t even hear you say “please”,” she mutters while looking at your hardened nipples through your gown.
“Please Sev…I want it,” you beg, unable to find the strength to continue your game of teasing for the sight in front of you is just too beautiful.
“Ah…but what about what I want? Come here,” she demands firmly with a hard look up and down at you.
You climb onto her lap again just for her to lay you down on your back. Your head rests on the arm of your couch and she gets in between your legs only to discover that you’re not wearing any underwear. She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she gazes at your wet cunt, she shakes her head with s grin across her face.
“You know me too well, already.” She mutters before taking not even a minute to shove two of her fingers inside you.
With her mechanical arm she’s holding your thighs apart, the grip is cold and firm but the temperature difference to the heat of your body soothes you. You thrust your head back, her fingers are much longer and larger than yours and you can feel it.
“Such a pretty little thing, aren’t you? So wet for me…you want me to fuck that beautiful face of yours, don’t you?” She teases and you nod as fast as ever while your back arches up off the couch.
She can’t help but grin as she watches your hips buck to her touch. You’re practically aching for her, she shoves in a third finger without warning and you whimper under her. Her eyes flicker wide for a moment, finding pleasure in hearing you whimpering. You roll your eyes back, feeling pleasured to a degree you’d never been pushed to before. In a moments notice she switches her fingers, her cold mechanical fingers slide into you, three of them and her other hand grips your thigh.
The cold feeling made you shudder with complete bliss. With your customers, you’d scarcely finished with them but with Sevika you already felt as though you were going to cum. You couldn’t even get your words out, you were a whining moaning mess. Your silk nightgown was ruffled at your hips, leaving your cunt completely exposed to her. The coldness from the metal of the mechanical arm pleasured you beyond measure.
Your thighs fought close as your hips bucked but she allowed none of that. She figured that was your tell as you came close to finishing but she wasn’t done with you. A second later and you felt her swollen clit against your mouth. She was thrusting her cunt into your mouth while your mechanical arm was reaching back to keep her fingers sliding in and out of you. She steadied herself with her hand on the back of the couch as she bucked her hips repeatedly. You wrapped your arms around her thighs and took the opportunity to suck on her swollen clit.
Your moans only came out muffled as she drowned you in the wetness between her thighs.
“Fuck! Just like that,” she grunts aggressively, thrashing her hips roughly and messily.
Her muscular build weighs on you but you don’t care, you don’t let it stop you from indulging in the sweetness on your tongue. You shove your tongue inside her, forcing it inside her until she tosses her head back in response. You can dee her muscles flexing as she holds on to the couch and her nipples remain rock hard through her tank top.
“So fuckin’ good with your tongue baby. You like that? You like having your face fucked?!” She praises and you can only nod quickly, not pulling your mouth off her for a second.
She slides her fingers out of you and instead grips the top of your head, nestiling her fingers in your hair that’s been messed up from the couch. She holds onto you as she thrust her hips against your mouth. You’re not given a single second to breathe but the taste and feeling alone brings you to your climax. Your breath hitches as she moves faster, aching to reach her climax as well.
You finish with the taste of her on your tongue, your own legs jolting with the sensation she brings you. Your hips buck up into the air as your back arches up a little but she doesn’t allow you to rest. She keeps going until she’s satisfied. Her brows furrow as she looks down at you and bites down on her bottom lip while grunting. Your suck on her swollen clit, pulling at it until the taste is practically imbedded in your tongue.
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” She groans out loudly, she bites down with her head tossed back as she begins to cum.
Your tongue lapping at her cunts to soak up every bit of cum she releases and you’ve never tased anything better. Your own cum is dribbling down onto the couch while hers is dribbling down into your mouth. She pants with her chest rising and sinking dramatically, her eyes open again and she waits until you’ve licked up every drop before she lifts herself up off your mouth.
From pocket on her shirt she pulls out a cigar and a lighter as she slumps down next to you on the couch. She places the cigar in her mouth and lights it with a slight pant and she comes down from the high you brought her too. Without a word, she turns her head over to you and reached her arm out. She drags you across the couch and pulls you onto her lap as she smokes.
All before she slides in a finger with you on her lap and the lit cigar in her mouth…taking you right back to the pleasure you so desperately found only with her.
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⠀ㅤ⠀ ⠀ ⓘ⠀ㅤ⠀n. kento. ⠀ㅤ⠀ ⠀mild angst &. fluff.
nanami kento loved his wife. he cherished her with his whole being, and soul. he would think of her all day, everyday. his brain memorized every inch and detail of her, and he never failed to remind her how much he loved each and every one of them.
or so he thought.
he was thoroughly disappointed to one day find her lips wobbling. eyes squinted at their best attempt not to let out tears. he could feel her heart, painfully thumping in her chest like a festering ache, a s if it were his own.
he had finished pampering himself in fine colognes merely minutes ago, ready for the date night they had been planning for weeks, and you had been enthusiastic for it considering how busy you both had been.
but now as the night had come, he found your shared closet near raided, the dress you had originally picked (and been very excited about) nowhere in sight. but the image of you, standing in the mirror, staring at your body in distaste he couldn't find comprehensible.
"darling, what's wrong?"
hearing your lover voiced in such worry and care made your attempt at hiding your frustration much too difficult to hold in, and quickly, tears began to spill out.
your bum plopped onto your bed like gravity had just shoved you down, you felt absolutely defeated and more so now that your husband had to watch you ugly sob over something as stupid as this.
"never. say that again."
oh.. had you said that aloud..? there was a sudden shift in his voice from worried and caring to equally concerned and heartache.
"i feel awful. i look awful, kento. nothing fits, nothings working."
your eyes burnt holes into your stomach as you gripped your belly rolls. his thumb softly caressed your face and wiped the tears from your eyes away, his other arm draping around you and pulling your back to his chest, close. you could hear his own heartbeat sound like it were ready to burst.
"sweetheart, i have no clue what or who it was that made you think this but they are absolutely lying. you are the most gorgeous woman i have ever seen and nothing will ever change that."
your cries came to a soft sniffle. he could feel your breathing steady a little, but he knew you were still hesitant, he watched you fiddle your fingers.
"how about this, go try it on. i'll give you my absolute honest opinion."
you wiped the remainder of your tears and nodded, heading off into your bathroom to go and try on the original black dress you had chosen for the date night. and you when you came out, kento swore he was in heaven.
you looked ethereal, satin tight around your curves but still flowing at the bottom of your legs. kento's gaze, filled with romantic lust was almost entirely enough to fill you brimmed with confidence, at least for the night.
"you had nothing to doubt my love. this is the body of beauty."
kento held you from behind in front of the mirror. his hands curled around your hips firmly. his eyes grazing over your body in adoration that you knew no other man would ever be able to offer. you looked at the mirror, and for the first time that night, your eyes didn't immediately divert to your belly.
⠀ㅤ⠀⠀©⠀all work written by ﹫amortxt. tdo not repost. ⠀ㅤ⠀⠀tagging @ummmitsnotken.
#══╪⠀ㅤ⠀アモール#══╪⠀ㅤ⠀k. nanami#ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#kento nanami x reader#kento nanami x you#kento x reader#kento x you#nanami x reader#nanami x you#nanami kento fluff#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x poc!reader
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The Great Shift: Awkward Tales - Vignette 2: Athletics Run in the Family
“Hey dad! Ready for that workout? I think this football jersey is getting a bit tight. Might need a new one later.” Kyle boomed as he bounded across the hall. The sound loud enough to cause his dad, Bill to jump!
“Oh uh… yeah sure Kyle. Maybe we skip the workout today. We could go shopping and get you new clothes.” Bill offered, gulping as he walked over to his towering son.
“Haha! Very funny dad. I know how you always said that every workout skipped, is a day wasted. I finally get it now! I just beat my PR for bench presses last week! Pretty sure I could do it again this week too if we keep at it! Now let’s go!” Kyle smiled and carried his dad to the car.
Bill sighed. Kyle wasn’t wrong. Before the great shift Bill was a retired amateur athlete. He never could quite go pro, but his passion for working out and fitness was always there. It was something he tried to inspire in his son Kyle, but it never took. Kyle was always more artsy. More sensitive. Less in the physical space and more in the mental. Bill didn’t even care that his son was interested in men, only that he tried some kind of athletic activity. Even as he was making his way through college Bill held on to hope that Kyle would find some athletic spark in his son. Something for them to bond over, but it never came… despite how many times he tried to force sports on to Kyle.
It turns out he should’ve been careful what he wished for. After the great shift, Kyle had landed into the body of a professional athlete, Dallas Turner. Now his one shrimpy son was a 6’5, 250lb titan of athleticism. Suddenly, Kyle finally understood what his dad was talking about. Running around, lifting weights, hell even playing football. Kyle was in love! The consistent amount of fitness planning that Kyle had done in the 1 year since the great shift was more than he’d ever done in his entire life! And the results had shown! Kyle had gained over 10lbs of muscle since he’d got that body!
NFL scouts had even come around and asked him if he’d consider joining the league after he finished college! After all, a majority of former athletes were now in much smaller bodies that couldn’t play anymore. Kyle was considered a top prospect!
Meanwhile Bill was experiencing the opposite end. Where as Kyle had gotten huge from the shift, Bill was on the smaller end. Previously Bill was a proud 6’3, and now as a modest 5’0 he was seeing the world from a whole new perspective. Not only had he gotten significantly younger, now around the same age as his son, but he was not blessed with the same athletic disposition. Somehow most of his body was much smaller everywhere, but he maintained a bit of pudge around the belly, almost like a reminder of the beer belly he had once before. Only now smooth with no hair.
Needless to say, it was clear that Bill’s new body was not built for physical activity. That didn’t stop Kyle from dragging his dad to every possible gym that was open post shift. Kyle loved testing the limits of his new strength. At first, Bill liked it too. Helping Kyle reach his physical potential is what he’d been waiting for ever since he had a son. However, the longer they worked out, the more tired Bill became. Not only from the actual exercise, but also from discovering his new sexuality at the gym with all the hot guys in the area.
Bill had gone from a sternly athletic father, to a nervous gay nerd quite quickly. His behavior became more shy and reserved. He began to understand more and more why Kyle liked things like music, art, and games compared to football. Most importantly he even understood why Kyle could never focus around his athletic peers. Every time Bill and Kyle went to the gym, Bill would get distracted after a new hunk began their workout! Kyle was too, but more so happy to show off his incredible new bod!
These thoughts raced through Bill’s mind as Kyle drove them to the gym! Bill could only hope that his secret crush was there. The handsome bearded bodybuilder was a large Arab man who was some sort of janitor in his previous life. Now this guy was second only to Kyle in the gym the more he worked out and showed of his manly body. Bill had already rubbed one out in the gym locker room thinking of him.
By the time they arrived Kyle got to working out as Bill went to refill their water bottles. Then as he joined the gym floor he was stunned to see Kyle talking to the big bearded gym crush!
“Hey dad! This is Amir! I said he could workout with us. It’ll be nice lifting with another huge guy who could keep up with my lifts. Maybe if I play my cards right with him I could invite him over for dinner.” Kyle gave his dad a confident wink.
“W-what?! I mean. Are you sure? You just met him and-” Bill sputtered as the large man came over and shook his hand. The young father was mortified. The guy he’d been obsessed with at the gym. Here? Now!? Talking to Kyle!?
Amir didn’t seem very interested talking to Bill. His banter was mostly with Kyle as they worked out. The two of them matching their routines and flexing at one another. Bill was practically seething with jealousy as Kyle and Amir tossed their sweaty workout towels at him. They were so lost in their workout and getting to know one another they'd completely forgotten about Bill.
“Hey it’s pretty nice of you to bring your little brother to workout.” Amir smiled as he spotted Kyle.
“Oh that’s my dad. He taught me everything I know about working out.” Kyle corrected, as Bill blushed.
“That so? I’ll have to thank him, because he sure made a handsome son. I hope he won’t mind seeing more of me. Especially if I’m gonna be seeing more of you.” Amir arched an eyebrow and smirked.
Bill’s hands were over his face. His son was gonna start dating his gym crush. It couldn’t get more awkward than this!
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hiyaaa! so excited for these prompts. firstprince hug prompt #3? 💖
(Firstprince and... alpine skiing? Idek, I blame the weather and the fact that I want the winter Olympics even though they're not for another year. Enjoy! read all the hug ficlets)
3: The way too excited, golden retriever filled energy hug where they literally topple you over.
Henry’s final trip down the course is, quite literally, a blur. The weather had turned during the last few skiers’ runs, and the snow is now falling hard enough to transform everything into a muffled world of white. The only things he can see through his goggles are the bright red lines marking the course—rapidly getting fainter as the snow covers them—and the gates that appear out of the whiteness mere seconds before he encounters them. The conditions are awful, but Henry had honestly been more afraid that officials would call for a postponement before his run than he’d been of the course itself.
He doesn’t know his time, or whether he’s ahead or behind the current leader, Alex Claremont-Diaz—an American who’s become a close friend over years and hundreds of competitions, a man that Henry’s fallen more than a little in love with—who’s been sitting in the gold medal seat since he descended the course almost fifteen skiers ago. All he knows is the slice of his skis through the snow and the way he whips around the curves, rocketing down the hill so fast he can hardly breathe.
By some miracle, he stays on the course. He pumps a fist in triumph when he crosses the finish line, not because he thinks he won—he’d be surprised, given the conditions—but because he made it in one piece. He fought his way down, tooth and nail, and he finished, which was far from a certainty.
He tears off his snow-crusted goggles and turns on his skis, looking for the clock through the falling snow, but what he sees first is someone barreling toward him, a blur of red, white, and blue that doesn’t slow down until they slam bodily into him, throwing their arms around his middle in a crushing hug. The force of it sends Henry careening backward until the quick releases on his ski bindings give way and they tumble to the snow in a heap, both laughing.
Because there’s no question who Henry’s assailant is—there’s only one person mad enough to tackle him like that at the World Championships, and certainly only one already within the barricades.
“You motherfucker!” Alex yells over the cheers of the crowd, still lying fully on top of Henry. “You fucking did it! That was incredible!”
Henry doesn’t believe him—that’s impossible, Alex was the hands down favourite to take the gold in this event—but sure enough, he tips his head enough to see his own name at the top of the leaderboard. When he looks back Alex’s smile is so blindingly bright, so happy for Henry even though it means he got knocked off the top of the podium, that Henry’s self control is stretched to its limits with the effort not kiss him.
Particularly considering that Alex is looking at him like he’s struggling with a similar internal conflict.
Henry doesn’t kiss him. Instead, he hugs Alex back fiercely, and smashes snow into his curls where his hat’s come off, and thinks maybe, just maybe, that tonight’s celebrations might even more special than he ever could have dreamed.
#rwrb#red white and royal blue#firstprince#firstprince fic#rwrb fic#my fic#hug ficlets#i did research for this 526 word fic someone shake me lmao
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Dancing Queen || Quirkless Au || Frat!Bakugou x Hiphop!Reader
Quick note, this is not finished what so ever, consider this a teaser. This is to see if anybody would actually be interested in me turning this into a full fledged series. Also reader and Mina are both considered to be brown (since there’s no quirks) as shown in the photos used (Y R THERE NO POC ON PINTEREST OR GOOGLE OMG), but this can be a self insert if you wish. Not proofread whatsoever so pls tell me somethings glaring!
Synopsis: Y/n Ashido, the sister of Mina Ashido is a dance prodigy. You were selected by a prestigious hiphop academy/ boarding school as a young child, and have been overseas apart from your family for the past 7 years. Due to circumstances you head back to Japan, and meet your sisters friends. A certain blonde sticks out to you..
Hello -,
we’re incredibly sorry to hear about your injury, however considering its severity, we have decided to rethink your scholarship. Although you are a model student, we simply don’t have the space to accommodate an injured student while there are hundreds in the waitlist, so for now we have to revoke your scholarship, including your student accommodation. You have until the 29th to fully move out of the previously provided dorm. If you have any questions feel free to go to the head office. If you wish to return to Étoile Conservatory of Dance under hip hop in the future after you have healed, headmistress Kaea has requested you personally seek an audience with her.
Regards,
Louise Wang || Deputy principal for Étoile Conservatory of Dance
Contact at: #########@gmail.com, Étoile Conservatory of Dance on ###### street, #####, Sydney, Australia
The smooth thick card paper gave up in your hands, crunching uglily as you kick it aside. Ofcourse they had to send it in a handwritten letter, really let the pain settle in knowing some random- Louise had sat in her office writing it, probably smacking her lips and chewing on gum like she has a habit of doing. She couldn’t have sent an email? That would have been so much better, knowing it wasn’t as personal.
You know your anger was misdirected, a hoax, an effort to shove down the fear creeping up your chest, stabbing you in the sternum, avoiding the thick air. Dance was all you had known. Ever since you were 9. You, Y/n Ashido, the child hip hop prodigy, catched the interest of Miss Kaea, a famous figure in the industry, as the most paid dancer, aswell as the headmistress of the 3rd most prestigious academy, Étoile had grown to be home. Miss Kaea had handpicked her, reaching out to your parents, offering to cover your whole future expenses and education wise, even flying you halfway across the world so that you could attend her academy. Yet here she was, practically your second mother figure, dumping you over a cracked femur that had almost completely healed. Sure, you might not be able to jump onto your left leg anymore, but surely she could contact a good doctor that could heal it easily, knowing all the connections she has to A-tier celebrities. What had changed? Were you really nothing but an investment?
The lights flickered overhead, almost in an effort to mock your suffering. You couldn’t even bear to look at this god forsaken dorm anymore, somewhere you once considered home. But at home you wouldn’t get kicked out so cruelly, no consideration for the almost decade, 7 years, of blood sweat and tears you put into Étoile. What were you meant to do now? You had friends here, a lot actually, but they all stayed at the dorms anyways so it’s not like you could crash at one of theirs. There was nobody who didn’t live at some sort of dorm, there was no place left for you at Sydney and legally you couldn’t even rent, due to being a minor and all that. There weren’t even options for other academy’s around here, with all of them only revolving around ballet and classical technique based, something you didn’t have the calling for.
Sitting on your bed, everything seemed hopeless, you just needed to heal your leg and you’d be back… but you needed somewhere to heal first. You eyed your phone, before dialling a number that you probably shouldn’t have neglected for so long, if it was a physical being it would have had a fat layer of dust on it already. Not from hatred or ignorance but just your busy schedule.
“Hey ma..”
Reblogs and spam likes encouraged and welcomed! Do not copy or post on other platforms.
#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugou#mina ashido#mha x reader#mha fanfiction#mha#mha fanfic idea#mha drabbles#mha smau#mha series#bnha x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha smau#bnha mina#boku no hero academia#x reader#mha kirishima#bnha kirishima#kirishima eijirou
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The Guilt of a Gunshot
This is inspired by this post from @ideasarestuckinmyhead! : read here!
This is also my first fanfic that has been sitting in my drafts for about a month now—so enjoy!
Word count: 1467
The silence after the shot was eerie; so eerie that it almost hurt. Sugarboo slowly lowering their arm that held the gun as the adrenaline had started to wear off.
They felt like they could scream, cry, do something, anything to prove that they felt something after shooting Derek. But… no. They couldn’t. Not after what they did. They knew what they were getting themselves into. They… asked for this. They did this for their boys. Even though they might not forgive them for what they had done.
Before they walked to the door, Sugarboo looked at Derek’s lifeless body, emotionless. No remorse. No mercy. Just blank.
Upon opening the door, to their confusion, there seemed to be nobody in the bar anymore.
‘Did everyone leave?’ They thought. They figured the gunshot was loud but they didn’t anticipate that everyone would scramble. They then thought back to what Alphonse said. The gun would be enough to scare rats shitless.
They looked around and noticed two bodies on the ground of the bar. One of them being the “guard” that they’d seen when they first walked in with Derek and the other was… familiar. The confusion turned into fear as they realized that the other body was Seth’s.
“Holy shit! Seth! Oh god, you—you’re bleeding!”
They carefully and somehow successfully managed to pick up Seth’s body, considering he was taller and bigger than they were. They carefully placed his head on their shoulder as they tried to gently shake Seth awake. They knew that this was their fault that he was like this. He must’ve come looking for them. And that thought alone was enough to make Sugarboo’s heart drop.
“Seth… please wake up. I’m so sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t mean for this to happen to you I just—!”
“Sugar…”
That sentence alone was enough to cause them to pause. They looked down at Seth’s face and noticed that he was conscious.
“Seth! Thank goodness you’re alright! I’m so sorry about everything I just—!”
“Shh… Sugar… it’s alright. I’m alright. I’m just… so tired.”
“Seth, please stay awake… just until I can find Alphonse so he can drive you to a hospital. Where is he? If you’re here then shouldn’t he be close by?”
“No, he’s at the train yard. We… split up to look for you.”
They figured that their boys would look for them. But it didn’t hurt any less hearing it aloud.
“I guess I’ll have to get there by foot. I can’t risk your injury getting worse but I can’t just leave you here—fuck! What do I do?”
Just as they finished their statement as they dredged out the bar with Seth in their arms, they noticed a similar van pull up.
“Is that… Charlie’s van?”
Sugarboo looked at Seth confused until the passenger window rolled down revealing Jessie.
“Ma, how did you get that hunk-a-junk to start?”
The question asked was quickly interrupted by Jessie.
“There’s no time for questions, hun. Just get in the van so we can get you boys to a hospital. I already picked up Alphonse from the train yard and he’s… well… roughed up.”
This caused Sugarboo to freeze up. Both of their boys had gotten hurt because of them? They devised this plan to try to help them but instead they… made everything… worse.
Jessie seemed to notice the expression on Sugarboo’s face and she was quick to cut them from their thoughts.
“Sugar, Alphonse is going to be okay. I promise. We just need to get both of them checked out to make sure nothing else serious is wrong.”
This was three hours ago. Three long, excruciating hours. They sat in the waiting room, embarrassed, ashamed, and just… empty. They had solved their problem but at what cost? The boys getting hurt? Them being tainted? It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. But they didn’t have any right to feel like that. They had to be the strong one. The one who kept everything together. The one who fixed everything.
They had managed to help Alphonse and Seth to make amends. They had managed to create countless goodies for people across their nowhere town. They had managed to keep everything together even when they felt like a third-wheel when the three were in the same house. Their house. Why did being strong hurt so bad?
They were pulled out of their thoughts when they heard footsteps walking towards them. They looked up to find Jessie, who gave them a slightly solemn look.
“You alright, Sugar?”
They could barely move. Whether it was from shock or just pure exhaustion, nodding their head seemed like an almost impossible task. Keyword: almost.
“I… I’m fine.”
Jessie sighed before taking a seat right next to them before putting a hand on their shoulder.
“Sugar if you need to cry, then cry. I promise I’m not going to judge you for doing so.”
With that sentence, everything about their facade seemed to fall as quickly as the tears fell down. They quietly sobbed as Jessie wrapped her arms around them.
“They’re going to be so… pissed at me.”
“No, Sugar, I promise you those boys aren’t going to be angry at you. They love you so much. They are in that room right now, waiting for you. Hell, when I went in there the first thing that Alphonse asked me was if you were alright. They are going to be thrilled to see you.”
Were they though? Would they accept the fact that they shot Derek? Would they still accept them if they had blood on their hands now?
After a few minutes, they seemed to have settled down, so Jessie escorted them to the room the boys were staying in. They looked at the door, scared. They took a deep breath before knocking on the door. They heard a familiar voice, which seemed to be Alphonse’s, telling them to come in.
Once they opened up the door, they slowly slipped into the room, their eyes quickly darting to the ground. Too afraid to look either of them in the eyes.
“Boo! Hey! There you are!”
“Hey, Sugar…”
Both of the boys quickly could tell something was up as they both glanced at each other from their separate beds before turning back to Sugarboo.
“Boo, are you alright? You aren’t hurt are you? Come here.”
Sugarboo walked over towards Alphonse’s hospital bed before taking a seat in front of Alphonse. He scanned them for injuries and didn’t see anything visible. While the injuries weren’t visible to him, he could tell that they had been crying, so they were obviously upset. He cupped their cheek with his hand and slowly turned their head to look at him.
“Boo, I can tell you’ve been crying. What’s the matter? Derek didn’t hurt you, did he?”Alphonse managed to breathe out.
They shook their head before they started to weep. The tears fell down their face once again. What happened to keeping it together in front of them? They don’t know.
Alphonse quickly wrapped them in a tight hug with one of his hands on the back of their head, slowly brushing his hand through their hair, trying to comfort them.
“I’m so sorry… the both of you got hurt because of me. I wanted to help and I just—!”
“Boo… shhh… it’s okay…”
“No it’s not! I fucked up and you both should be upset with me right now…”
“Hey… Boo, look at me…”
Reluctantly, they turned their head upwards towards Alphonse.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. While what you did scared me a bit, I’m not mad at you…”
“Well, you should be…”
“Boo, what you did took guts. I wouldn’t ever be mad at you for doing what you did. Although, I would appreciate a heads up next time…” Alphonse admitted, smiling softly at Sugarboo.
Seth watched the two fondly as he sat up in his hospital bed. Seth laughed before following up with, “Yeah, I would prefer if there wasn’t a next time. Ever.”
Sugarboo turned away from Seth, chuckling at his words before looking back at Alphonse. They looked at the bruises and marks on him as the guilt began to wash over them once more.
“Boo, hey… I’m alright. It’s nothing that I haven’t dealt with before,” Alphonse admitted with a slight smile on his face.
Tears welled up in Sugarboo’s eyes as they tried so hard to hold it together. Seeing him like that hurt. They knew that this was their doing.
Almost immediately and instantaneously, both boys are by their side, comforting them. Even if they didn’t know if they deserved such kindness after what they did, they chose to bask in the warmth provided by their boys. Just for a little while longer.
#yuurivoice#yuurivoice alphonse#yuurivoice sugarboo#yuurivoice bittersweet#yuurivoice seth#yuurivoice fanfic
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Charlie was an eager little princess constantly feeding anytime she could, Adam was lucky he had two sets of arms. One always supporting her as she fed, when Lucifer told him she'd need constant feeding he wasn't kidding. Adam was talking to the nursery to check on his other five eggs, and sure enough the last one was hatching. Unlike Charlie this one was so small Adam was scared they'd need help but that wasn't the case. Out popped a little bee they had mostly brown and one of the workers quickly picked them up and began feeding them honey. From what Adam knew the ones that are mostly brown are males. Adam walked closer and examined the 5 babies, each one was in their own little crib in the shape of a hexagon.
Worker bee: would you like me to take her and place her in one of the cribs
Adam nodded and handed Charlie off so he could greet his other babies, they were so small. Adam smiled as he gently thumbed their cheeks he wanted to hold all of them all at once, they were just so cute and they were his and Lucifers. Adam blushed but continued to admire his little ones changing to each crib every five minutes. Even letting a few nurse on his own simply of honey as he sat in one of the rocking chairs the workers provided.
Lucifer: I see you've already met the others
Adam nodded and helped the baby drone finish feeding: yeah and it looks like we have a boy too
Adam kissed the little one on the cheek as he showed him to Lucifer, Lucifer didn't look as impressed but smiled anyways. Must be the fact he's used to seeing so many babies.
Lucifer was actually a tad bit jealous of the infant considering Adam had just finished nursing him. A kiss to the cheek however snapped Lucifer out of his jealousy.
Adam: thank you Luci
Adam quickly waddled back to the cribs dragging Lucifer with him, he had began naming the other five.
Abel was the little runt, he had dark brown fluff just like his dad and blonde hair. His eyes were like Adams and he had little check markings like Lucifer.
Alice was the next to be named, she had dark brown hair like Adam and her fluff matched his as well. Her eyes were like Lucifers and she also shared the cheek markings.
Charlie was blonde with cheek markings as well but her fluff was a dark brown to match Lucifers.
Adam: and you can name the others
Lucifer looked at the last three, more girls two had little hearts on their foreheads. One looked identical to Adam no cheek marks and bright honey brown eyes. The other two had his cheek marks and Adams light blonde fluff, the only differences were their eyes one having dark brown almost black while the other had beautiful gold.
I have an idea, Yandere King Bee Lucifer with Human Adam 👀
With a forced transformation/curse for Adam to become a Queen Bee /nf /suggestion
Just some food for thought! Anyways, have a good rest of your day/afternoon/night!
Skadoodles back into the abyss
Well a King needs his Queen 👑💖
@sir-tater-of-the-tot 👀
Since he's a King, there aren't many bees anymore so he needs to repopulate his kingdom.
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The Mayor - Chapter 4
Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle
Alternate Universe: Mayor and Architect
Words: 1000
Masterlist
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"And then, she hits me with a 'I hope I didn’t throw you off!' Can you believe it? She’s a woman who wants to control everything and enjoys provoking people—provoking me specifically!"
“Well, this sounds promising,” Alessia teased. “I didn’t think she was like that; she seemed nice at the kids' Christmas party at the hospital.”
“Oh yeah, the Dragon has two faces! They’re the worst kind. She’s a real actress.”
Sitting in Alessia’s living room, we’d just finished a platter of sushi. She was laughing. Alessia, with her Italian roots, had long blond hair and bright eyes. Her laughter and infectious joy made her even more beautiful.
“The Dragon isn’t so bad to look at; you can always admire her if it helps,” she replied with a playful smile.
“Sure, with that personality, I almost didn’t notice her at all,” I replied, with a hint of bad faith.
I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. Our tongues met in a lively dance as my hands moved along her back and then under her shirt to touch her soft, warm skin. She suddenly pulled away from my embrace.
“Is something wrong?”
“No… it’s just… we talked about this, how we should stop if we want to move on.”
She said it in a weary voice, and I frowned.
“Did you meet someone?”
“No, it’s not that. But how can we move on if we keep ending up in bed every few days?”
We’d been apart for almost a year now, without drama but with a lot of sadness. She was in a surgical program that would take her to Canada in a year, and her schedule was relentless. And with my own demanding schedule, our lives had gradually drifted apart. After yet another breakup and the usual reproaches, we’d separated. We hadn’t been in touch for months until I reached out a few weeks ago. Her scent, her voice, her laughter—I’d missed it all. And, of course, we ended up in each other’s arms, which maybe wasn’t the best idea. Since then, although neither of us considered getting back together, rarely a week went by without us finding ourselves together again.
Her comment stung. Sarcastically, I replied, “Excuse me, but the sushi and candle setup made me think this was going somewhere else tonight.”
“Come on, don’t take it that way. It’s complicated; I want to see you too. But where are we going with this? The first one of us who meets someone just leaves? Since we’re not getting back together, right?”
She threw this at me, challenging me with her deep brown eyes, almost black.
“Are you planning to work fewer than 150 hours a week? And not going to Canada?”
I’d hit a sore spot—Canada, the real cause of our breakup. She’d accepted the program without consulting me, and I’d felt left out of her life as she forged her own path without me.
“Do we really have to talk about this again? You know my workload will be much lighter in a year, and you could have come to Canada!”
“Oh sure, like I was so well included in your great plans! I’d just bought my firm, and then you announced all this! So no, let’s not talk about it. Anyway, after today, I’m done here. I’m leaving.”
I grabbed my coat and headed toward the door. She followed me immediately, grabbing my arm, pushing me against the wall, taking my face in her hands, and leaning in close to my ear.
“Stay. It’s too hard. I need you.”
Her words electrified my entire body. I let my coat drop and kissed her passionately. Our tongues joined in a fierce rhythm as I leaned against the wall, breathless. Alessia unbuttoned my blouse, letting it fall immediately. She began to kiss my neck, moving slowly down to my breasts, which she caressed gently. Her tongue circled my hardened nipples, aroused by the waves of desire flooding through my body. Her hand wandered along my thigh, moving dangerously close to my lower belly. She unbuttoned my jeans, slipping them down; I was at her mercy now, in only my black thong, standing before her. As she continued to tease my nipples, her hand gently stroked me through my underwear. She began applying pressure to my clit, making me moan even louder. She then moved lower with her mouth. I decided to shed the last barrier between us. She started kissing my intimate area, licking my lips while lightly touching my clit. She knew me by heart—my body, how to make me feel pleasure. Feeling my excitement, she slid one finger, then two, inside me, moving them faster and faster, while never stopping her tantalizing strokes with her tongue. The pleasure built within me like a sudden fire. My moans grew louder, my hands in her hair. I moved my body to feel her tongue, her fingers, her , even more deeply within me. I finally climaxed, shuddering with pleasure. She slowly moved back up, covering my body with kisses until she reached my lips and gently bit them. I felt so vulnerable, naked in front of her while she was still fully dressed. I smiled.
“What are you smiling about, miss?” she asked, with a mischievous grin.
“I think I’m standing naked in a hallway in front of a fully clothed person; we might need to remedy this. Would you happen to have a bedroom?”
We laughed heartily. I took her hand and led her to her bedroom—our former bedroom—ready to put her through the same wonderful torment.
#woso#lucy bronze#woso community#ona batlle#barca femeni#woso soccer#lionesses#sefutbol fem#ona batlle x lucy bronze
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patience being tested. being forced by a bizarre unfortunate situation to adhere to university requirement technicality by taking this simple basic elementary "introduction to environmental history" class.
this class is from facilitators/program which do, like, "history of the American frontier" or "history of fishing and hunting" and still basically subscribe to that old-school twentieth-century idealization and celebration of characters like Teddy Roosevelt and reverence for a mythical arc-of-history-bent-towards-justice narrative of the often-clumsy but ultimately-benevolent US federal government and its mission to "save nature" through the miracle of "sustained yield," while heroic federal land management agencies and "heritage" institutions lead to way, staffed by exceptional individuals (appeals to nostalgia for the frontier and an imagined landscape of the American West; ego-stroking appeals to flattering self-image that center the environmentalist or academic). where they invoke, y'know, ideas like "ecology is important because don't you enjoy cross-country skiing in The Woods with your niece and nephew? don't you like hunting and fishing?" which makes it feel like a time capsule of appeals and discourses from the 1970s. and it invokes concept of "untouched wilderness" (while eliding scale of historical Indigenous environmental relationships and current ongoing colonial violence/extractivism). but just ever-so-slightly updated with a little bit of chic twenty-first-century flair like a superficial land acknowledgement or a reference to "labor histories" or "history from below," which is extra aggravating when the old ideologies/institutions are still in power but they're muddying the water and diluting the language/frameworks (it's been strange, watching words like "multispecies" and "Anthropocene" over the years slowly but surely show-up on the posters, fliers, course descriptions, by now even appearing adjacent to the agri-business and resource extraction feeder programs, like a recuperation or appropriation.) even from a humanities angle, it's still, they're talking at me like "You probably didn't know this, but environmental history is actually pretty entangled with political and social events. In fact, we can synthesize sources and glean environmental info from wacky places like workers' rolls in factories, ship's logs, and poetry from the era." and i'm nodding like YEP.
the first homework assignment is respond to this: "Define and describe 'the Anthropocene'. Do you think 'the Anthropocene' is a useful concept? Why or why not?" Respond in 300 words.
so for fun, right now in class, going to see how fast i can pull up discussion of Anthropocene-as-concept solely from my old posts on this microblogging site.
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ok, found some
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I think that the danger in any universal narrative or epoch or principle is exactly that it can itself become a colonizing force. [...] I’m suspicious of the Anthropocene as concept for the very reason that it subsumes so many peoples, nations, histories, geographies, political orders. For that reason, I think ideas like the Anthropocene can be a useful short-hand for a cluster of tangible things going on with the Earth at the moment, but we have to be very careful about how fluid and dynamic ideas become concretized into hegemonic principles in the hands of researchers, policymakers, and politicians. There’s so much diversity in histories and experiences and environmental realities even between relatively linked geographies here in Canada [...]. Imagine what happens when we try to do that on a global scale - and a lot of euro-western Anthropocene, climate change and resilience research risks doing that - eliding local specificities and appropriating knowledge to serve a broader euro-western narrative without attending to the inherent colonial and imperial realities of science and policy processes, or even attending to the ways that colonial capitalist expansion has created these environmental crises to begin with. While we, as a collective humanity, are struggling with the realities of the Anthropocene, it is dangerous to erase the specific histories, power-relations, political orders that created the crisis to begin with. So, I’m glad that a robust critique of the Anthropocene as a concept is emerging.
Text by: Words of Zoe Todd, as interviewed and transcribed by Caroline Picard. “The Future is Elastic (But it Depends): An Interview with Zoe Todd.” 23 August 2016.
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The Great Acceleration is the latest in a series of human-driven planetary changes that constitute what a rising chorus of scientists, social scientists, and humanists have labeled the Anthropocene - a new Age of Humans. [...] But what the Anthropocene label masks, and what the litany of graphs documenting the Great Acceleration hide, is a history of racial oppression and violence, along with wealth inequality, that has built and sustained engines of economic growth and consumption over the last four centuries. [...] The plantation, Sidney Mintz long ago observed, was a “synthesis of field and factory,” an agro-industrial system of enterprise [...]. Plantation legacies, along with accompanying strategies of survival and resistance, dwell in the racialized geographies of the United States’ and Brazil’s prison systems. They surface in the inequitable toxic burdens experienced by impoverished communities of color in places like Cancer Alley, an industrial corridor of petrochemical plants running along the Mississippi River from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, where cotton was once king. And they appear in patterns of foreign direct investment and debt servitude that structure many land deals in the Caribbean, Brazil, and sub-Saharan Africa [...]. [C]limatologists and global change scientists from the University of London, propose instead 1610 as a date for the golden spike of the Anthropocene. The date marked a detectable global dip in carbon dioxide concentrations, precipitated, they argue, by the death of nearly 50 million indigenous human inhabitants [...]. The degradation of soils in the tobacco and cotton-growing regions in the American South, or in the sugarcane growing fields of many Caribbean islands, for example, was a consequence of an economic and social system that inflicted violence upon the land and the people enslaved to work it. Such violent histories are not so readily evident in genealogies that date the Anthropocene’s emergence to the Neolithic Revolution 12,000 years ago, the onset of Europe’s industrial revolution circa 1800, or the Trinity nuclear test of 1945. Sugarcane plantations were already prevalent throughout the Mediterranean basin during the late middle ages. But it was during the early modern era, and specifically in the Caribbean, where the intersection of emerging proto-capitalist economic models based on migratory forced labor (first indentured servitude, and later slavery), intensive land usage, globalized commerce, and colonial regimes sustained on the basis of relentless racialized violence, gave rise to the transformative models of plantations that reshaped the lives and livelihoods of human and non-human beings on a planetary scale. [...] We might, following the lead of science studies scholar Donna Haraway and anthropologist Anna Tsing, more aptly designate this era the Plantationocene. [...] It is also an invitation to see, in the words of geographer Laura Pulido, “the Anthropocene as a racial process,” one that has and will continue to produce “racially uneven vulnerability and death." [...] And how have such material transformations sustained global flows of knowledge and capital that continue to reproduce the plantation in enduring ways?
Text by: Sophie Sapp Moore, Monique Allewaert, Pablo F. Gomez, and Gregg Mitman. "Plantation Legacies." Edge Effects. 22 January 2019. Updated 15 May 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Geologists and other scientists will fight over [the definition of the beginning start-date of the Anthropocene] in scientific language, seeking traces of carbon dioxide that index the worst offenses of European empire which rent and violated the flesh, bodies, and governance structures of Indigenous and other sovereign peoples in the name of gold, lumber, trade, land, and power. [...] The stories we tell about the origins of the Anthropocene implicate how we understand the relations we have with our surrounds. In other words, the naming of the Anthropocene epoch and its start date have implications not just for how we understand the world, but this understanding will have material consequences, consequences that affect body and land.
Text by: Heather Davis and Zoe Todd. On the Importance of a Date, or Decolonizing the Anthropocene. ACME An International Journal for Critical Geographies. December 2017. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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From Aime and Suzanne Cesaire, C. L. R. James, Claudia Jones, Eduoard Glissant, through Sylvia Wynter, Christina Sharpe, and so many others, critical anticolonial and race theory has been written from the specific histories that marked the Black Atlantic. [...] Glissant also reminds us, secondly, of how cunning the absorptive powers of [...] liberal capitalism are - how quickly specific relations are remade as relations-erasing universal abstractions. [...] This absorptive, relations-erasing universalism is especially apparent in some contemporary discourses of […] liberalism and climate collapse - what some call the Anthropocene - especially those that anchor the crisis in a general Human calamity which, as Sylvia Wynter has noted, is merely the name of an overdetermined and specific [White] European man. […] [T]he condition of creating this new common European world was the destruction of a multitude of existing black and brown worlds. The tsunami of colonialism was not seen as affecting humanity, but [...] these specific people. They were specific - what happened to them may have been necessary, regrettable, intentional, accidental - but it is always them. It is only when these ancestral histories became present for some, for those who had long benefitted from the dispossession [...], that suddenly the problem is all of us, as human catastrophe.
Text by: Elizabeth Povinelli. “The Ancestral Present of Oceanic Illusions: Connected and Differentiated in Late Toxic Liberalism.” e-flux Journal Issue #112. October 2020.
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The narrative arc [of White "liberal humanism"] [...] is often told as a kind of European coming-of-age story. […] The Anthropocene discourse follows the same coming-of-age [...] script, searching for a material origin story that would explain the newly identified trajectory of the Anthropos […]. Sylvia Wynter, W.E.B. DuBois, and Achille Mbembe all showed how that genealogy of [White subjecthood] was [...] articulated through sixteenth- through nineteenth-century [historiographies and discourses] in the context of colonialism, [...] as well as forming the material praxis of their rearrangement (through mining, ecological rearrangements and extractions, and forms of geologic displacements such as plantations, dams, fertilizers, crops, and introduction of “alien” animals). […] As Wynter (2000) commented, “The degradation of concrete humans, that was/is the price of empire, of the kind of [Eurocentric epistemology] that underlies it” (154).
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. “The Inhumanities.” Annals of the American Association of Geographers, Volume 11, Issue 3. November 2020.
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As Yarimar Bonilla suggests in regard to post-Irma-and-Maria Puerto Rico, “vulnerability is not simply a product of natural conditions; it is a political state and a colonial condition.” Many in the Caribbean therefore speak about the coloniality of disaster, and the unnaturalness of these “natural” disasters [...]. Others describe this temporality by shifting [...] toward an idea of the Plantationocene [...]. As Moore and her colleagues write, “Plantation worlds, both past and present, offer a powerful reminder that environmental problems cannot be decoupled from histories of colonialism, capitalism, and racism that have made some human beings more vulnerable [...].” [W]e see that contemporary uneven socioecologies associated with the rise of the industrial world ["the Anthropocene"] are based [...] also on the racialized denial and foreshortening of life for the sacrificial majority of black, brown, and Indigenous people and their relegation to the “sacrifice zones” of extractive industry. [...] [A]ny appropriate response to the contemporary climate emergency must first appreciate its foundations in the past history of the violent, coercive, transatlantic system of plantation slavery; in the present global uneven development, antiblackness, and border regimes that shape human vulnerability [...] that continues to influence who has access to resources, safety, and preferable ecologies [...] and who will be relegated to the “plantation archipelagoes” (as Sylvia Wynter called them) [...].
Text by: Mimi Sheller. “Thinking Beyond Coloniality: Toward Radical Caribbean Futures.” Small Axe (2021), 25 (2 (65)), pages 169-170. Published 1 July 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
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Indigenous genocide and removal from land and enslavement are prerequisites for power becoming operationalized in premodernity [...]; it was/is a means to operationalize extraction (therefore race should be considered as foundational rather than as periphery to the production of those structures and of global space). [...] Wynter suggests that we […] consider 1452 as the beginning of the New World, as African slaves are put to work on the first plantations on the Portuguese island of Madeira, initiating the “sugar-slave” complex - a massive replantation of ecologies and forced relocation of people […]. Wynter argues that the invention of the figure of Man in 1492 as the Portuguese [and Spanish] travel to the Americas instigates at the same time “a refiguring of humanness” in the idea of race. [...] The natal moment of the 1800 Industrial Revolution, […] [apparently] locates Anthropocene origination in […] the "new" metabolisms of technology and matter enabled by the combination of fossil fuels, new engines, and the world as market. […] The racialization of epistemologies of life and nonlife is important to note here […]. While [this industrialization in the nineteenth century] […] undoubtedly transformed the atmosphere with […] coal, the creation of another kind of weather had already established its salient forms in the mine and on the plantation. Paying attention to the prehistory of capital and its bodily labor, both within coal cultures and on plantations that literally put “sugar in the bowl” (as Nina Simone sings) […]. The new modes of material accumulation and production in the Industrial Revolution are relational to and dependent on their preproductive forms in slavery […]. In 1833, Parliament finally abolished slavery in the British Caribbean, and the taxpayer payout of £20 million in “compensation” [paid by the government to slave owners for their lost "property"] built the material, geophysical (railways, mines, factories), and imperial infrastructures of Britain and its colonial enterprises and empire. [...] A significant proportion of funds were invested in the railway system connecting London and Birmingham (home of cotton production and […] manufacturing for plantations), Cambridge and Oxford, and Wales and the Midlands (for coal). Insurance companies flourished [...]. The slave-sugar-coal nexus both substantially enriched Britain and made it possible for it to transition into a colonial industrialized power […]. The slave trade […] fashioned the economic conditions (and institutions, such as the insurance and finance industries) for industrialization.
Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. "White Utopia/Black Inferno: Life on a Geologic Spike". e-flux Journal Issue #97. February 2019. [Bold emphasis added by me.]
#sorry for being mean#instructor makes podcasts about cowboys HELP ME#and he recently won a New Business award for his startup magazine covering Democrat party politics in local area HELP#so hes constantly performing this like dance between new hip beerfest winebar coolness and oldfashioned masculinity#but hes in charge of the certificate program so i have to just shut up and keep my head down for approximately one year#his email address is almost identical to mine and invokes enviro history terms but i made mine long before when i was ten years old#so i could log in to fieldherpforum dot com to talk about enviro history of distribution range changes in local reptiles and amphibians#sir if you read my blog then i apologize ive had a long year#and i cant do anything to escape i am disabled i am constantly sick im working fulltime i have NO family i have NO resources#i took all of this schools graduate level enviro history courses and seminars years ago and ran the geography and enviro hist club#but then left in final semester because sudden hospitalization and crippled and disabled which led to homelessness#which means that as far as any profession or school is concerned im nobody im a retail employee#i was doing conference paper revisions while sleeping on concrete vomiting walking around on my cane to find outdoor wifi#and im not kidding the MONTH i got back into a house and was like ok going back to finish the semester the school had#put my whole degree program and department in moratorium from lack of funding#and so required starting some stuff from scratch and now feel like a hostage with debt or worsening health that could pounce any moment#to even get back in current program i was working sixteen hours a day to pay old library fines and had to delicately back out of workplace#where manager was straight up violently physically abusive to her vulnerable employees and threatened retaliation#like an emotional torturer the likes of which i thought existed only in cartoons#and the week i filed for student aid a massive storm had knocked out electricity for days and i was clearing fallen tree debris#and then sitting in the dark in my room between job shifts no music no phone no food with my fingers crossed and i consider it a miracle#sorry dont mean to dramatize or draw attention to myself#so actually im happy you and i are alive
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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folks, dont do this. like, one, my a/n on coping skills thru the last like five updates make it abundantly clear that i am going to Major Medical Bullshit and if there is ever a good reason to put a creative project on hold, its to recover from almost dying several times in a short span
but also, there is never any reason ever at all full stop, to include a line in ur fic comment to this effect. if you assume something isnt going to be updated ever again, you keep that to urself before slapping it at the author is a damned good way to ensure it doesn't get touched again. its passive aggressive and shamey, and while i dont think it was the intent of the commenter to read that way, it still fuckin sucks. the rest of the comment was lovely appreciation for my smut and characterization. it could have easily started with "i gotta say" as the lead in instead of the above and it would have made me excited and joyous to touch this project again now that im starting to feel like a whole human again, after, you know, almost dying a lot
and instead im just frustrated and mad
so dont do this
#mochi rambles#mochi fic#im pretty open about especially my health adventures all things considered#so it is not hard to peek around and see that I'm still neck deep in Fucked Up About Almost Dying#but actively working towards unsouping my brain enough to write#because i will finish this damned story#id say if it kills me but uuuuh no thank u ive had my fill of that lmao#but tldr if ur reading an incomplete work that hasnt been touched in ages#shutting down the idea of it being worked on is a self fulfilling prophecy#you do that and *you* are the reason it doesnt get worked on#but if you focus on supporting the author you will genuinely make a difference that could result in them returning to the work#which#even if they dont that's their business and its rude to to make it a problem#just accept what is available and thank the author for it if u comment and move on#salty salty#tho honestly#in the what tennn?? months since the last update?#ive gotten a TON of comments and asks about this fic and this is the first one i can recall that was a shit about it being on hiatus#ive gotten a couple of folks directly ask if it was on hiatus which is fair and reasonable and i replied to give an update on my soup brain#but >:C dont assume u butt coping skills is my baby i love it so much AND U CAN TELL froeny frowny
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i saw anastasiaaaaa 🥰🥰🥰👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🗣️🗣️🗣️🥳🥳🥳🥳
#yayyyyyy#with my friendddddd <333#bluebird.txt#anastasia#only two major complaints and one is THE GUY PLAYING COUNT IPOLITOV WAS SO OUT OF TUNE#well maybe not out of tune but the held note on 'let me say goodbye'#at the very beginning he like somehow got sharper and sharper until it was just a different key#on that ONE note#and then stayed in that key for the rest of that first solo and then the ensemble clearly didn't know what to do 😭😭😭#by the time he finished the solo he was back in key but that song means so much to me so i was like aaoughhhh one million deaths on me#hurt my soul I FUCKING LOVE THAT SOMG ugh#the other thing is that the actor for dmitry was either nervous or just had sorta bad breath control#when he got to the ends of his phrases like almost every end of a phrase was NOT held out full value#and like. imo he didn't get away with it either#he sounded straining and i feel like he didn't do a good job of blending when he needed to#so sometimes his voice and the Different Sound (more modern broadway compared to the sorta more classical leaning sound of others) just#clashed TOO much#and it's like i do realize dmitry's voice needs to be different for story reasons but that's not the problem the problem#is this guy just didn't pull it off really#it's okay i appreciate him#at least HE didn't fuck up the key. smh.#oh also they did. not have an orchestra. there's no pit and they just used a recording#which is fine but me and my friend (violist and violinist) were looking for SOME kind of credits#like damn where'd you get the recording at least#in the playbill#could not find anything#i'm considering emailing to ask cuz ive seen another production by this company and i liked it but like.#no orchestra 🥺?#just checked my playbill THEY DID HAVE ORCHESTRA FOR THE OTHER ONE!!!! no viola though smhhhhh#yo dog. what up w that 🤨?
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There's a job offer for which I'm kinda qualified for? And it pays better than the other two I have seen but now the point is if what I think is "my qualifications" is actually something valuable and valid or not. 🫡
#work#i mean it was all archival work the one we did for the article? like all the hours cataloguing docs and writing the antalic inventory???#at the same it was for a precise purpose and not for or volunteering?? maybe i should ask the e for the paper that reports all my'#-hours there.#i know it's almost impossibile they're going to consider my candidacy bc i haven't a degree but the work is kinda awsome and it would-#-really help me to finish uni and pass to the next step and maybe with a little help from the pubblication of the article it could be -#-material enough for a doctorate???#but okay feet on the ground i need to take a step at time#personal~
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sometimes i start thinking about nationality relations in the post-soviet countries and their abysmal complexity and i imagine a westerner trying to untangle that shit and it always ends w their head fucking exploding.
#i mean my head explodes a lot when that topic comes on in any shape or form#esp considering how. westernized my politic analysis is a lot of time. idk i could write a tome on this#almost always just leaves me sitting in silence. its just. its never clear cut? never?#always an argument to be made. western discourse is required to end in a simple and concise definition#of whats good and whats bad and. idfk mb im stupid mb i am being an apologist for people internalizing#racism and antisemitism and islamophobia and everything else so hard it just. morphs into. i cant finish the sentence#but it morphs. it becomes almost. a brand? god its so fucking weird#idk i think i have two brains at this point a western one and a p-s one. so i dont go fucking insane from how much these two#perceptions of the world differ. its a miracle when they work together and actually get me a glimpse on my personality as a whole#so fucking weird. and i know i have to tackle it i know i need to get to the bottom of this in my life but its just#so#fuck
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