#one of the few longform writing pieces i've ever finished

[stoneheart-paramour]

take a shot every time paramour tinkers with the timeline/scenes in hiveword

[you are admitted to the ER with acute alcohol poisoning]

i just remembered a few lil things i needed to add, and also realized one of the scenes was redundant due to some other tinkering i did earlier, so i did something else with it. y'know, i used to think that writing a book/story meant having the ENTIRE plot, start to end, set in stone already. like, you didn't start until it was, and then you never strayed from that outline. now it probably does work that way for plenty of writers, but i'm finding that as i go, i often realize something or other would flow better in a slightly different configuration.

when i wrote Autumn Wanderer, i actually don't entirely remember HOW i approached it, if i had a rough timeline all laid out to follow. i did have all the key events worked out and i knew the order they happened, but if i remember correctly, i didn't make a tidy bullet point list of each scene moment-to-moment, i just sorta wrote in the general direction of where the plot was supposed to go.

it's sorta interesting to me now, because i rarely write that way anymore. i can't remember when i actually started doing this - a few years ago, perhaps? - but creating a skeleton of the story/scene from start to finish helps me keep focused on what i'm trying to achieve, and it makes sure i hit all the notes i intended to. yet, i still go "off script" sometimes, following the flow of the scene where it feels most natural. maybe it's just that a bit of structure and spontaneity is the ideal approach for me; who can say.

and so on a larger scale, the chapters, it's kinda the same thing; i've got the "script" as i originally jotted it down, but then as i'm moving through each, i sometimes realize that something should probably happen sooner, or later, or even not at all, or i realize something ought to happen first, that two scenes/chapters need some kind of buffer event(s) between them; it's interesting.

on the whole, none of the broad strokes are changing, i'm still largely following the "script", but it's a lot more fluid, more malleable, than i realized it could or should be. the further along i get, the less solid the script is (well not for a long while yet, but still) but i wonder if it'll tighten up as i go along. i sorta visualize it like a braid or rope; something twisted together from lots of strands. all the plot threads coming together to form the narrative... at the start, it's tight and neat, but towards the end it becomes looser, then maybe a little messy, or tangled in places, and eventually you get to the part where all the threads are completely unincorporated, just waiting for their turn.

when i started writing Autumn Wanderer, i already knew exactly how it ended. not so with this story, at least not yet. i have ideas of course, i know the gist of the conclusion i hope to achieve, but i don't have a clear, neatly organized series events that lead to "THE END" like i do for most everything else. i am of course working towards finalizing all this stuff, but if someone asked me, "so how does it all end?" all i could really say is, "happily ever after" - which is SO corny but idc. happiness is the point. joy is the point. an end to suffering and pain, at least for the characters, has always been the intended conclusion. not that it's going to be perfect and unspoiled of course, but it doesn't need to be. coming to terms with the rough edges of life we can't ever hope to sand down is as important as anything else we gotta do to survive and thrive. but, i digress. the precise final steps to everyone getting to this point aren't known to me yet, but i'll get there when they do lol.

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT. I hope this message finds you well. I am sending all the good vibes and we'll wishes your way! ♥️♥️♥️ I hope you've had a wonderful summer.

I'm such a big fan of your work. Lioneheart is amazing and has stuck with me for such a long time.

I was wondering if you had any other stories you'd like to explore one day (even if you never get the chance to write them.) Whether it be fanfiction or original work, I was just curious because sometimes I feel as if I have hundreds of stories inside that I could tell, and I am not sure how to pick just one and see it to completion.

First of all, thank you! This is a fun one. I have a few enduring ideas for longfics I may or may not ever write (i.e., ideas that would have been projects already if I didn't have an ongoing longfic). I don't get stuck in them mostly because I try to remind myself that the idealized story you imagine when a concept occurs to you will never actually exist as it does when it's unshackled by the constraints of execution. What you'll get if you actually sit down and hack it out is (1) a real and imperfect piece of writing, and (2) the satisfaction of having written it, which is by far the more reliable source of motivation, if we're being honest. That being said, here are some ideas I've always wanted to explore, if and when I finish Lionheart:

I've always wanted to write a longform canon-divergent Tomione fic about Tom Riddle's 7th year at Hogwarts. Big honking political melodrama ft. the original Knights of Walpurgis, a Triwizard Tournament, and realistically functioning time travel (hence why this one's always been kicked down my list of projects, because writing a time-travel plot is like running through a minefield made of trampolines). I've already got character concepts sketched out for the Hogwarts cast — sooooo many fun ideas for the teenage Walburga. But I'd still need about a week of solid fic preproduction on the plot alone before I was ready to boot up and start writing, and it'd take at least 250k words — closer to 300k, if I'm being honest about myself. So this probably won't see the light of day anytime remotely soon, if ever.

A canon-compliant Dramione war fic, diverging from the Malfoy Manor chapters in Book 7, picking up from a speculative thread I read once about what would happen if the war didn't end after Voldemort died at the Battle of Hogwarts. I've always thought it would be fascinating to see who Hermione and Draco would become if they were actual soldiers in the war (and my disappointment with how Book 7 handled the "war" of it all has been established). That being said, Book 7 of Lionheart will probably give me a lot of similar ideas to chew on, so I don't know what my appetite for this one will be once I'm finished with it.

Durmstrang AU. This one's barely a fic concept so much as it is a mental moodboard — I just want to worldbuild the hell out of Durmstrang. And the international wizarding world, generally. It's a delicious sandbox.

A longform canon-compliant fic or series of fics about the previous generation of Blacks (Sirius/Bellatrix/Narcissa, namely). If you look at the books, there's a huge amount we don't know about the fall of the Blacks. I always found it bizarre that the sisters and Sirius seem to be the only ones left by 1995. No one else has a claim? No one else from this all-powerful wizarding family wants to step in and claim this big honking townhouse in the middle of London? Or its attendant fortune? Dude, what happened? Also, we don't see nearly enough of the Black family melodrama in canon. They lose 4/5 children of a generation in the span of almost single decade. And then (presumably) all of their parents die in the span of another. Goddamn. Just imagine the character work you could do there.

A No Chosen One/Voldemort Wins (The First Time) AU where Hermione never gets her letter, and meets Draco much later in life as a self-taught witch. The dynamics I have in my head for this are really enjoyable, and it would be a chance to finally write Hermione POV, plus the Draco I've cooked up for this universe is [chefs kiss]. I also just love the idea of Hermione as a feral witch-child running around muggle London. I love it a lot.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary179

3/12-13/2024

tuesday - wednesday

thursday will be the day i get to enjoy my clothes from japan. so exciting.

i also just got a book, agua viva, that will come somewhat soon, i suppose, i am very excited to get back into lispector as the 2 books i've read of hers are some of my favorites ever, i think she's always hit, i've read bits of a few others of hers, also amazing imo but i just could not finish them, because i was reading them in a bookstore, i was trying to absorb as much as i could from her. after agua viva, it's either back to gary indiana's book gone tomorrow again, which i still need to finish, or i buy something from amphetamine sulphate. i think i want to read another thomas moore book, i know he's amazing, but my curiosity is piqued by isabelle nicou, she has a new novel out called stricture, and i can't tell what it's about really, which is good. the excerpts are rather amazing to me, as pieces of writing, look:

In Harry’s suburban house, cluttered with books and stacks of papers, time was bending in an elliptical orb that never failed to constrain me during the few months broken by vacations and interruptions—several, for Harry was often invited abroad—where I went once a week to, as my famous mentor put it, “assist” him.

i love that. i am really itching for fiction right now i think. i really would like to get back to writing my big project, step outside of the little pieces i add, and get to the hard work of assembly and subtraction, but it is hard, i need to just sit down and do that but there's other stuff that feels almost more pressing, the music, right now. so it sits, it can wait a bit. since there are things being added to it, it feels like it's not cold for me, it won't really be i think, it feels too near complete already i guess.

music was good today i think, i hope. i recorded the whole of a song, wrote lyrics for it and stuff to complete it. there's some takes i need to take out, and some stuff i need to punch in i think for timing, but it's basically all there i think. i think i sound better on that song now. plus, i wrote lyrics for like 2 other songs/instrumentals, one of which was one i was like, how am i gonna figure anything out. something hit me and i ran with it, and it works. that's very exciting. i also have a random fragment now, which is kind of a fully formed idea with no song to go with it. that's nice as well, something to use whenever. but i want to do something longform again. a story. i've been too focused on other things, i guess. but i think it'll come to me. whenever i feel lost that always does return. especially if i get burned out on one pursuit.

i came upon an interesting thought, i will enter it into the story, i think.

i have done that. i think today is good, i am not hating my bangs so much too, even. stuff like that. i talked to my gf for a while today, we talked about dumb things like some new video game where the main character has a giant ass, which is strange to see. that game looks pretty bad and it's kind of frustrating they're obv trying to crib stuff shinkawa would do in metal gear, especially like, the beauty and the beast women in mgs4. who, regardless of how like, uncomfortable that might be, have incredible designs imo. i've heard in the past the game was going to almost be more of a horror game, with some of the designs he was trying, which i wish was what happened. i hope at some point he can do more horror oriented designs.

soon, as well, i need to finish maldoror. i can be too precious about books with really incredible prose, trying to drink it all as deeply as possible so as to absorb/learn better what they do and how to use it for my own ends, or to even sense if my ends are compatible with their ends, stuff like that. maybe it's not too precious, maybe i just need to be better.

so with songs that need lyrics entirely, i think there's only like, one? idk. and then there's like, 3-4 that need some additional parts written.

i'm thinking, probably, some of these songs are gonna need more boosting in the bass, which should go over decently i think. like, a pretty flat/even +2-4 db? i'd guess at least.

new vox from today need to be lowered by a few db as well. like, 2, i think. maybe too saturated too, or too much high end? strange. but i do rlly like the takes i have for this.

i was listening to the songs thru the blue yeti mic, it's so fucked up how much high end it adds. i was thinking like, what the hell is wrong with all these mixes. now i know why i thought i needed so much added bass. listening thru system audio it still feels like some of these songs could do w/ the high end boosts i'm doing, even more extreme like, idk, even +5? we'll see. but it could be a key to making things sound better.

i'm liking how this is all coming together though. i'm glad my faith in myself is returning i guess, or that's kinda just how this feels. maybe it's delusional. but we'll see, based on reception, although i think basically nobody is gonna receive this.

here's some fashion mag photos/scans i found today, also:

madame figaro japan:

i don't know if it's the scan or what but the blurring on this in the dark space is so uncanny to me, she has the feeling of a sea creature emerging from the depths, she is occupying non-space in a strange way, which makes this photograph really interesting, beyond its role as advertising, it's either been given something wrong by a bad transfer/scan, or it's produced that way. either way, it is against itself in a good way, instead of making one want something solid, it pushes one towards the insolid. which is interesting, as luxury items are always supposing to sell that, so perhaps it's not against advertising wholly, but one could contend that perhaps it is, or it points in some direction where by being handled poorly something can be taken from the image, i guess its negative is produced here, or something, i guess even with the external interference of the watermark, it begins suggesting other things, a mire/swam of desirability, beauty but totally frayed, it's not working in the typical way say fashion photography of deconstructed/avant garde stuff works, as much as i truly love that stuff it is still trying to further its own existence by suggesting to an audience it is a luxury good, instead of a com/pulsion. it is not presenting an object's aura, this is someone being swallowed by something else, subsumed into a broad instantiation of not. or it's at least the feeling it gives. either failure or an odd affect of the photographer, produces something that feels outside of typical valuation in fashion. the image as it is, draws attention to the point of where it loses interest, the fading of definition, or maybe a point of emergence. it is pointing constantly at a fissure.

l'officiel china:

this one is similar to the above, although i suppose more typical and more evidently intentional. i am very struck by the figures of men behind her, i do quite like how at a certain level, the clothes cease to matter and high fashion photography kind of enables a lot of photographers to simply not engage typically. what is preserved here is maybe more a sense of aura of the clothing, although it is oddly agnostic to the garments, it is not shot like a flower, as some might try, it is held at pretty great distance and shares space with the totally surreal men who seem to leer or be heading someplace. they evoke futurist forms, even, which is odd. this, rather than being about nothing, reminds one of passing someone striking in a car, something like that. in contrast to the last it is certainly not able to point at anything single, it's very busy, the pollution gives it another kind of weight.

elle girl korea:

this one is by many measures less odd than the prior two, however i quite like her socks and would like some like that myself, a nice and piercing green. i find myself more and more wanting to wear green, but i have nothing to wear it with. sad. i'll have to find things. i do quite like, overall, the aggressive gaudiness on display, the white background foregrounds it, the rusted looking base of the tv, it being evidently old. the loudness of the outfit, her pose being so like, it's such a pose, she is holding her hands funny, she is pushing her elbows out. it is pointed at you, or maybe through the viewer. it's almost an image begging to be lost in the pages of a magazine. that's not to say it's bad or something, i like the photography here a lot, i guess it's kind of hitting at an early peak of normcore in 08, sorta.

anyway, i need to sleep soon so i can record some more tomorrow. and then i'll be closer, inching closer and closer, and closer, and then soon it'll be time to really get down on the cover art, which will be fun i think, and a headache, but hopefully a good one.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[greenerteacups]

Frequently Asked Questions

Hi! If I’m asked a question more often than sometimes, it’s probably here. Static page also accessible at this link.

When is the next chapter coming out?

I update on Friday mornings, weekly, usually before noon PST. If it’s a Friday and you don’t see an update, it’s either because I’m on a writing break, or we’re in a hiatus between books. Or I've been hit by a car or something.

Do you have social media?

Aside from Tumblr — nope! I’m one of those hermit types. My AO3 account was previously the only place I was active online. I made a Tumblr so I could offer a platform to interact with people who are more comfortable here than in the AO3 comments section (for instance, there’s no anonymity function on AO3; you can log out and comment as a guest, but that’s a lot of work, and then there's not an easy way to check if your question was answered.)

Can I tag you in [thing]?

Yeah! I check back in here every few days, on average, to scope out my inbox and my mentions. If you make something for my fic, I’ll publicize it everywhere, obviously.

Can I bind your fics?

Yep! Carte blanche. I don’t own the copyright for anything I write, so I appreciate the thoughtfulness of people asking, but you can absolutely go ahead and do whatever the hell you want with the text of my fic. Print it, paint it, burn it, bind it, turn it into blackout poetry. Transformative art is human nature. But if you do, please, please, show me! I’ll scream for a thousand years.

Caveat: I’ve seen some people have anxieties about the sale of bound fics for profit, since they’re worried about publishers cracking down on copyright violation and litigating fanfiction. This is tough, because on the one hand, bookbinding can be expensive; on the other hand, selling fic is a violation of copyright, and the only way AO3 is allowed to exist is by authors making precisely $0 from anything they post. (This is why AO3 will boot you immediately if they catch you trying to make money from non-original works on their site — if I so much as drop a PayPal link in the description for Lionheart, the fic will quickly be taken down, and my account could be suspended.) So my stance is: I’m not going to sell my fics; if you bind for personal use, this doesn’t matter, go for it, live deliciously, etc; if you bind to sell, please be careful and discreet as you can. But you have my OK, for what it’s worth.

Can I translate your fics?

Yes, of course.

Will you write other things, besides Lionheart?

Eventually, yeah. Probably nothing longform soon, however. When I’m writing something, I get engrossed in the world and I sort of tunnel-vision onto the project. When Lionheart goes on a hiatus between books, I may pop out and do something else, just to keep my skills sharp and give my mind a break. That’s where shorter pieces like The Climb and SWLITS came from. But I keep my eyes on the prize, as far as what I’m writing, because I pride myself on having finished most (though admittedly, not all) things I’ve ever started on AO3. I hate having unfinished projects  cluttering up my Works page. 

I don’t read WIPs. When will Lionheart be finished/should I read Lionheart?

Listen, I’m not gonna tell anyone how to read fic. If your reading preferences make you happy, then you’re doing it right. And I’ve also been burned by remarkable WIPs that peter out, or die on a cliffhanger, and they just about break my heart. I can’t promise that won’t happen, because I don’t know what life holds in store. I also can’t promise when Lionheart will be finished, because, frankly, I have no idea! As a full-book rewrite, if you look at the current chapter count, and then look at the number of books in the series, then, yeah, it clearly has a long way to go.

But I also know that the Completed Works filter on AO3 is hiding a lot of good fic, and I think people who only read completed stuff are missing out on the real fun of update culture — of reading something serially, the excitement of waiting for the next chapter to drop, looking for clues about long-running puzzles, theorizing in the comments, getting to experience each new hit live. That’s one of the few things about fanfic that you can’t get in a novel, and it’s a real treat. I’d at least give it a try.

Otherwise, here’s what I can tell you: Books 1, 2, 3, and 4 will all be finished. They will have completed endings, and will offer (satisfying, I hope) resolutions to the major conflicts of those stories. And that’s a fact.