#one of my worst fears atm is that she'll be the kind of doctor that looks at genitalia

[m00ngbin]

I always think I'm dying cause some new awful thing will pop up and then I wait a few days and I'm not dead. Like the thing is still happening but I'm not dead and that's ok.

Most recently I've been getting like super dizzy and there's been something wrong with my brain and I get like. I want to say eye spasms? Idk what they are. It feels like I'm really tired and I've been staring at a phone screen all day like all the time. Even when I just wake up. And the top and front of my brain always feel wrong, and sometimes they hurt but it's not like PAIN pain but it is pain. Almost like a when someone puts a light in your eyes sort of feeling. Anyways the point is that I have been preparing for death or at least a significant amount of cognitive decline for two weeks and so far there has been almost nothing. Except that I struggled to read a few words I would have normally been able to read just fine but it's ok cause I can still read and walk around and I haven't started losing control of going to the bathroom