#one day i'll write something more coherent about them in a separate post

[kaffeebaby]

This show makes me want to scream and cry and write essays

The color blocking of this scene enraptures me and I’ve finally figured out the wording of my tiny analysis. Not to read too much into it, but color usage in the show is so important and this scene has Chuck and Mike’s colors matching/ swapped, which seems kinda important. There are even other scenes where I feel they contrast each other but I'll only ramble about this one. Minor character backstory spoilers ahead but no plot spoilers

Mike here is in blue with beige underneath, and Chuck is in beige with blue underneath. Plus this photo of the house:

Where Chuck is in the blue hallway and Mike is surrounded by off-white (beige looking) walls. Even the light painting behind Chuck and the dark panel behind Mike push the mirroring of the color blocking!

I think it's just a beautiful setup in general, but also drawing some parallels between the two characters. To me, they're two sides of the same coin. Both involved with the law, in different ways, and respected in those fields, but they fall off that path for revenge. They're both the gruff, emotionally distant guidance figure that Jimmy turns to when he thinks he has no one else. They struggle with addiction, Chuck being obsessed with Jimmy so he doesn't have to look at his own problems, and Mike being an alcoholic to numb the pain of his losses.

Also, just. The way that Mike is a bitter, lonely, scorned father who keeps reliving old pain, the way that he enacts "justice" on the people who killed his son vs Chuck who is a scorned, bitter, lonely son, missing his old better life and trying to enact "justice" on the person he blames for his father's death..

They're yin and yang, and this scene is an interesting way to point that out. So anyways

Oh this can't be good.

[optiwashere]

lmao fine I'll ask for another: «Please Don't Save Me»?

Perfect. You managed to pick the Modern/Band AU once more lmao.

That's the title for Chapter nospoilers of the AU! I write linearly and like to separate fanfic chapters out to multiple documents for easier posting. I don't do that for original work, it's a fanfic-only habit.

Anywho, here's a sneak peek.

No context given other than this is a modern AU that focuses on Shadowheart and a modern version of my OC (because I am who I am) as Shadowheart's band has to stay in the OC's city for longer than expected.

Hopefully I'll have a big enough lead to start posting this for real next week (???)

---

Ash didn’t have to ask about Shar. She already knew the answer to that without even bothering.

The cars on the streets outside resumed their bleating honks, the sounds filtering in through the windows. The noise surprised Ash, pulling her from thoughts of a darkened stage and violent, unintelligible metal music. A light rain picked up and pattered the glass reflecting Ash and Shadowheart back whenever Ash glanced over, pale ghosts of themselves in the diner booth seats.

Meager little reflections. Unimportant. Unable to say everything.

Turning back to Shadowheart, Ash waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, Ash spoke up. “So, can you sing?”

“Yeah.”

“Mind showing me?”

“Yes.”

Ash chuckled. “Fair enough.”

Their meal continued in silence, plucking open the sad excuse for distance that they were both cultivating. A greasy burger took Ash’s mind from it all for a little while, and limp, shitty fries with no salt were the perfect follow-up to keep her mind clear of all but the light slap of rain on glass and the buzzing lights overhead.

She told herself that despite catching herself staring at Shadowheart multiple times.

That distance shrunk again.

Ash waited again for Shadowheart to say something. When she didn’t, this time Ash kept her mouth shut. Perhaps this is what she’d prefer after talking so much?

“Tell me something about yourself. Not about music, or mechanic stuff.” Shadowheart chewed on an overcooked bit of fat and gristle before spitting it out onto her plate. “You know about my religion. Sorta. Now you tell me something. Only fair.”

“Only fair? All right. Um.” Ash thought for a moment. “I’m a lapsed Catholic.”

“See, that’s not fair. We can’t do religion-for-religion here,” Shadowheart grumbled. She chugged a mouthful of soda from her glass. “No. None of that. Tell me something else. Go on.”

Sighing, Ash fumbled for anything. “I like dogs.”

“Wow! I feel like I’ve known you for thirty years now,” Shadowheart joked, sarcasm bleeding from her words, “but no. That’s not good enough. Come on, Ash. You gotta have something.”

“I smoke a pack a day. I’m down from two,” Ash admitted. It was the next thing to come to mind.

“See? That’s something.” Then Shadowheart’s eyes lit up. “Do you have smokes on you?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’ve been dying for one since we got in Rivington.” Shadowheart shuffled out of her seat and gestured for the door. “C’mon. Please. You said smoke and it’s all hitting me at once.”

Following her outside, Ash guided them to a bus stop with an awning to sit under.

“Why not your truck?” asked Shadowheart.

“Eh, if I don’t smoke in there then it’s harder for me to constantly puff up, y’know?”

“Makes sense.”

Pushing a cigarette out of the pack with her thumb, Ash held the crumpled green-and-white plastic package close to Shadowheart’s face. She could’ve just handed it over, but her head was spinning being this close to Shadowheart. Sitting on a shitty little bench under a shitty little awning on a shitty little street outside of a shitty little chain restaurant was getting to her, and with all of that she struggled to do anything coherently.

Shadowheart glanced at her and quirked a brow at her. Leaning forward without breaking eye contact, she grabbed the cigarette with her mouth and pulled it free, flipping it around in her fingers and popping the filtered end between her lips. She waited expectantly, eyes closed, and jutted her face forward.

Ash flicked open the lighter she’d held in her other hand and lit Shadowheart’s cigarette. The first puffs of smoke were heaven in the dark light of the City’s rainy street.

[aro-attorneys]

God. Second attempt at writing a sort of coherent Good Omens Season 2 rant/review/thoughts. Whatever you want to call it.

First, things I really enjoyed:

Pre-fall Crowley scene. Though this was not liked as much by some other critical Book fans. I understand from canon-conflicting perspective, but TV and Book Omens are separate in my head (sorry Neil Gaiman I can't buy the Same Canon thing)

The flashbacks scene (especially the one with Job and the Resurrectionist, the zombie one was kinda bad though)

Aziraphale getting to use the Bentley

Ok that's all that stood out to me of what I really liked. Time to complain!

God I'll just...start with The Kiss. I saw spoilers for it before I got a chance to watch it and immediately felt disappointment. I do like the Ineffable Husband ship, but I liked it as this...vague thing they kinda had going on in the back. They absolutely did not need an angsty one-sided confession scene with a forced kiss. Everything about it felt so inorganic too. I was trying to be open to the possible (different/romantic) chemistry they might have in s2, but it never happened. Instead there was Nina and telling Crowley he's in love with Aziraphale. Even though nothing really indicated that? To the public they could just be friends?

They did make more "gay jokes" (like they did once in season 1, which I did not like, it was very amatonormative which goes against the vibes those two have). Did not like those. Felt forced.

I have made posts before about the lack of aro and qpr representation in media and Yes that does play into why I did not like this ending of the season. It felt like this possible representation was forcibly taken away from me. I get to be sad about that. It's technically a separate argument but I'm throwing it here anyway.

Aside from That, the vibes of season 2 was...not really Good Omens? I really love the season 1 adaptation on so many levels. It is not perfect and there is valid criticism to be given, but overall it catches the absurdist comedy and relevance of everyone at play Very Well. Both the book and the show have this "ah it's all coming together" thing that's executed so well. I agree Crowley and Aziraphale got more of a main character role in the Show vs. The Book (where the humans and nonhumans are equally important/get similar screentime). And they amplified this in season 2. This post-book "canon" seems to focus a lot on Crowley and Aziraphale, which feels Wrong. They don't work on their own like they did in the Book/s1. It was their interaction with Earth and its Humans that made them shine in the end. Giving them their own problems to deal with was incredibly uninteresting. This is probably why the flashbacks stood out to me more. ...Yeah, I think it boils down to them not being as interesting on their own.

(of course when fans draw Book Omens Ineffable Husbands it's a different thing altogether, but art or comics usually don't have TV-style drama)

I feel I should say something about Gabriel and Beelzebub? It caught me by surprise that I just laughed when I saw it unfold. It was just very weird idk. I will miss Beelzebub though, I loved their trash gender vibes (then again, the new actor did not sell the vibes as well as the previous actor).

This season made me dive a little into the Book Omens fandom again and made me realise how much I missed the Book. I read it back in 2017 and a lot of fine details are lost on me. I want to read it again for sure. I see a lot of mixed reactions from Book fans on this season. Oftentimes criticism of different kinds, sometimes someone who did kind of like the season.

Overall I hate it when a screen adaptation takes a fandom over. I have to see incredibly bad takes on the Ineffable Husbands every day since the show came out.

In short: it was mostly not as interesting/memorable and I am pissed off about the kiss scene that I have to see everywhere.

[sinclairscribbles]

The Scratchpad (6/5/23)

(This is a post from my personal blog of the same name from a few days ago, but because I'm a boomer in internet literacy I only posted it to tumblr days later...) Good Morning, Here is where the random thoughts go. I often find myself saying "This is a good idea" but never taking the time to write them down, let alone get them out there. Posts here can vary in length and coherence. It's mainly a way to put down the ideas I come up with, and have a timestamped day to when I first put them to paper. I'll try my best to make the intended posts understandable in concept, but with the nature of this it isn't always guaranteed. Enjoy!

Grimstone: A stone beneath all stone. It's surface is coarse and sandy, until is is rubbed where it becomes smooth like glass. It is a mythical substance with a storied history, used both by history's most profane and the unfortunate unwitted that stumbles upon it in the depths. When hit, Grimstone makes no noise, resists fire, and has some magnetic properties, making it almost impossible to break down into smaller parts. It is naturally light absorbing, and cool to the touch even in direct sunlight. It is also unusually dense, where a blank the size of 6 square inches weighs about 200 pounds. It's durability is noted to deflect the strongest blows, making it a sought after material for armor. Curiously, Grimstone can exist in other states, and can be broken down to smaller particles through great effort or magical means. Using it in a pulverized form it can transfer its light absorption and durability to a garment, or in darker rituals, skin. It is said that in lower sections of the depths it actually flows like water, and consuming Grimstone can impart qualities on those who partake, but none are alive to speak of the nature of these qualities.

"It was there, its darkness strangely twinkling against the comparable grey around it. My eyes could not be directed from it. All these years in the mine they all searched for gold, not knowing what lay just beneath. I rubbed my hand against it, thinking it to be smooth, as I could not determine its surface on sight. The weight and cold of it shocked me in how familiar it seemed, and terrified me in how alien I knew it to be. My fascination flickered against great fear, and I hurried away to plot my return for it." The Lyre of Grimstone:

An Instrument crafted from a legendary material. Its arms and body wiry and thin but holding immense weight. The blackness of it was encompassing, making the room it was in darker for it being there. When strummed, it makes no noise, its song moreso being felt, and its melody familiar regardless of the one playing it or how it is played.

"The eye failed to flee when he strummed that silent instrument. Great dread filled the room while his eyes lit up with glee. Terror and beauty were felt in that moment, for we all knew the song but not its name or why he played it, yet still all knew what it meant."

These Ideas came to me a few days ago, and Are more for use in a fantasy/ tabletop setting. I've been meaning to get into DnD, and hopefully can find some collaborators soon, as I have a lot of characters and ideas, many of which I'm sure will end up here. Not quite sure how to organize this page yet, but we'll burn that bridge once I get to it.

"The apathy towards creation does not imply an absentee creator"

I meditated on this phrase late one night a few days ago, and in that meditation I was not referring to the Creator in universum, but instead the act of creation itself. In my mind, in order for something to be considered "created" it has to be separated from its creator. In a sense, in order to generate something and to claim that this thing has been generated by you, it needs to be released from you, and you must become apathetical to its existence thereafter. If you are constantly doting on a project, it's not fully created yet, and if you obsess over it after its left you, it's a work in progress at best, or you are neurotic at worst. This statement does not mean the creation is hated or ignored, but is stating that there is a point where your creation is no longer of you, and only at that point can you claim it in any capacity to be yours. Truth be told its a little bit of a "duh" moment, but I thought the phrase interesting enough to write about it, lol.

"What will you do? Do what? You will."

I honestly just liked the phrasing on this, using will as a verb in the 3rd part. I tend to do this a lot, I'll repeat a phrase over and over and make changes or give it a different form or context to try and make something different. Repeat a phrase enough times and eventually something new will poke out at you.

"The ideas expressed here represent no one, as no one can fully represent their ideas."

Of course this is rich coming from a guy just posting his random thoughts on the internet, but I thought about this while watching this YouTube video regarding AI Philosophy. He references the disclaimer for https://infiniteconversation.com . Clark Elieson references how this disclaimer means to describe that the ideas created by that AI do not represent the ideas of a philosopher, no matter how much they may sound like genuine philosophical argument. Immediately I thought of how, generally speaking, no one really represents their own thought. Much like this passage and page in general, if you have a thought in your head, the act of communicating it is limited by something. Language, interpretation, intelligence, ability, all stand to muddy the idea you have in your head, and can never truly be communicated to another, as the idea only truly exists in your mind. From there it got me thinking of the old Idealism vs. Realism debate in philosophy, and in a way how that could correlate to AI in this context. If, like humans, the AI is limited in the way it communicates its thought in the exact same way as humans, does this prove that the AI is actually thinking, even in a general sense of the term? When considering that all of your thoughts and feelings have roots in things outside of and before you, wouldn't your ideas be an amalgamation of the things you have experienced? If the mechanics of thought are all the same, what is the real difference between AI philosophy and Human philosophy; more importantly, is there really a difference at all? Spooky stuff.

"Humans have less empathy for humans due to the scrutiny of humanity in itself. Empathy exponentially dwindles in the presence of doubt."

For this I am referencing the phenomena that documented in this article: https://brill.com/view/journals/soan/25/1/article-p1_1.xml . In this experiment, it was found that generally people have less empathy for injured humans than they do injured dogs, the only exception being if the injured party is a human child. I thought it curious and after a while came to the conclusion that the reason for this is because of the human capacity and capability to doubt. You generally would see an injured person as a victim of circumstance, certainly, but there is always the chance that the person was injured due to something they could have prevented, and thus you have less empathy to their plight. A child or a canine, on the other hand, is not nearly as capable, and thus it is more likely their injury was not directly their fault. Of course it is fitting to mention that human beings have a biological urge to protect children, but I would argue that this empathy stems more from perceived innocence and incompetence.

If you haven't noticed by now, I'm a big fan of alliteration. I promise its not how I talk, but I cant seem to help but use it in writing.

[treksickfic]

McCoy requester here again!

I just wanted to tell you that I was over the moon earlier today seeing you had posted the story!!! Gasp!!! I'm SO EXCITED!!! ❤😁

Ever since then, I've been making my way through the workday and the evening chores, anticipating that perfect moment this evening to settle down with a cup of tea and totally savor it!!! Almost there!! 🤗❤

I must confess that I did treat myself to a teaser and read the first sentence - which gave me the most incredible thrill, butterflies, and made my heart melt 😍 I can't wait to read it!!

I also wanted to thank you SO MUCH for your very lovely and kind words about me considering writing. Reading that totally made my day. I've never written before, but discovering the wonderful world of Star Trek fanfiction in the last couple of years has sparked this small flame, burning in the back of my mind. I would love and appreciate any advice on how to start writing for the first time!

Thank you so much again - I'm eagerly awaiting reading about my darling Dr. McCoy later this evening!! ❤

Sorry I am so late in answering this ask, my McCoy nonny! I don't know that I'm any kind of fanfic writing expert but I'll do my best to answer your question about how to start writing for the first time:

It would be easy and also kind of flippant to say, "well, just start writing!" Because I know full well how daunting an empty page or a blank screen can be. When you have an interest in writing and a few ideas, it's intimidating to try to form those ideas into a coherent story. So just keep in mind that your story doesn't have to be coherent at all when you first start.

I wish you could read some of my first drafts. Those drafts are usually big sections of dialogue with "something happens here, I don't know what," interspersed throughout. Going back and filling in the blanks is excruciating, at least for me, but it's also separate from the initial creative process of writing.

So how to start? If you have an idea for a story, sometimes it helps to imagine someone you trust and then pretend you are telling them your story. Don't try to write dialogue or descriptions at this point unless it comes to you easily; just talk it out on your page. Be conversational with it, like you're talking to a friend. But it's important to get something down, because here's a secret about writing:

When you first start writing, those words will not want to come out. They just won't. You'll feel like you've lost complete command of the English language. You'll feel like a hack who has no business trying to write anything at all. But the more you write, the easier it becomes. Trust me on this. Because without sounding super woo about it, when you write, you tap into a creative force in the universe. The more you write, the more you'll want to write and the more joyful it will become for you.

Word sprints help. Word sprints are just setting a timer and putting pen to paper (or fingers on keyboard) and writing without stopping for a set amount of time. At no point do you stop writing even if you're just typing "this is dumb I don't know what to write why am I doing this." Because getting your inner editor out of the way is vital as well. Because the editor will stop you before you even get started.

And whatever you do, do not compare yourself to other writers. We all have a unique voice and our own stories to tell in our own beautiful ways. When you write and finish a story, you will have created a thing where one didn't exist before. That's magical and so much needed in today's world.

I am also going to throw this out to two lovely writers I've met through this blog because they are very talented and immensely kind and encouraging: @scriptrix-eclectica and @greenroseunderglass

I so hope you'll give fanfic writing a try, nonny! And if you ever want to run anything by me or need an encouraging word, you know where to find me.