#one day i'll get my thoughts on the other series bc oh boy aren't they are a ride

[silvermeww]

i'm at the point of watching the anime that i want to scream about all the stuff that happen in it to someone pronto. it's not that there wasn't something that happened before, but god they really do just infodump in the 3rd dp season and i'm supposed to take it, right after the slowest slog so far (i'm sorry for hating on you johto, you were pretty slow but this takes the cake) (pls b&w be better, at least in terms of plot progression). to make up for it, i'm just going to just throw my thoughts into the void of tumblr so i can trick myself that i have someone out here.

in any case, the comment section of the main website i watch from, which has formerly sustained me, is starting to lose their negativity, but the cost (desertification) has made it a pyhrric victory to this lone soldier here. so this better work for me bc i have no drive whatsoever except for pure spite.

[utterlyinevitable]

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30. Casual, yeah?

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+

Summary: interlude of colin alone at aubrey hall, and we learn more about the whereabouts of ben's painted denim

30th May

Hey

I’m coming back for a few weeks. Aubrey’s free. Wanna go?

Isn't June like the most ideal month to get married?

Apparently not!

TBH I think the family was gonna go for a bit but cancelled last minute. I've been assured that not a single person or Bridgerton is planning on travelling down while I'm there.

Soooo.. you in?

I can’t get off work

You’re off your probation though?

Yeah but i only get 3 weeks of holiday and I’ve already booked up 10 days

How? You’re always at work!

Pips wedding

Oh. Right. When’s that?

August 10th. Plus all the bridesmaids stuff

I do not envy you women.

Why are weddings such a big fare? I swear Daph had a whole months of events and rehearsals leading up to her wedding day.

History and the patriarchy telling women their only goal in life is to marry??

Ouch

It’s fine for marriage to be something a woman wants, but for it to literally consume literal years of life? No thank you.

Still cynical on love, I see. I take it you’re also against marriage too

No, I wouldn’t say that.

There’s tax breaks involved 💰

Ha. Ha.

I think committing to a partner is beautiful.

Pip and Albie are perfect for one another and I am so happy these two oddballs found one another.

What's the difference between marriage and love for you? The two go hand-in-hand in most cultures.

Marriage is a choice between two people choosing each other. It's an agreement of partnership and committing to building a life together.

Love can be unrequited and irrational and make you think things that aren't really there.

So you'd rather an arranged marriage? Take the feelings out of the affair all together?

I'd rather be comfortable in myself and my career

Yeah but what about growing together? Literally building your lives together from the ground up like our parents

My parents married bc Portia got knocked up on their third date.

I f Philippa can find her person there is hope for Prudence after all.

What about you?

Apparently she's bringing a plus one to the wedding but won't tell anyone who it is!

I'm not planning on bringing anyone.

No matter who I bring i'll be criticised for taking the attention from my sisters. Best to blend in and nod when spoken to at this thing.

I'll go with you

Portia would have a conniption!

That would be the opposite of blending in

and worse than bringing a colleague

Your mother cannot hate me that much, we've barely interacted all these years!

and she must know i am heaps more delightful than Eloise!

You're a Bridgerton. She'd freak even if i brought Greg or Hya

They're literal children

Of one of, if not the most, prestigious society families.

Mum would retcon the whole day if she knew a Bridgerton was attending. Pip and Albie's wishes be damned.

Just when I thought your mother couldn't get any more eccentric...

Imagine what she'd be like at a Featherington-Bridgerton wedding 😶

You'll have to fight the mystery man for Prudence's affections

🙄 My cap has been sufficiently set elsewhere thankyouverymuch

Sure, jan

Ok anyway, I think I’m gonna head to Aubrey for a few weeks. Feel free to pop in for a weekend I’d love to see you x

11th June

I miss u

I’m only a train ride away

This place is too big and scary for a boy on his own

It's your childhood home.

You've literally only been there two days

Come see me

I can’t, Col

Pretty pwease 🙏🏻

Think of all the fun we can have Ferris Bueller-style with no one around.

I don’t think I’ve ever been here without the family let along staff.

Did I mention there’s no staff 😏

I am quite literally the only person on the estate.

I can’t.

You can. I'm inviting you.

It doesn't feel right to be impeding on your sisters spaces.

We're not friends anymore and i doubt she'll take kindly to me being around

Eloise doesn't have to know. Only the estate manager knows I'm here and blacked the time out for me.

That's worse!

I thought we agreed to be honest at the cabin

We did.

We are. 

I am.

I don't feel comfortable intruding on the aspects of your life you share with your sister.

I want to respect her right to space.

When are you going to tell me what happened between you two?

Its been a long time. I'm over it. You know how she holds a grudge.

If you're over it then... 🫴🏻

Please respect my boundaries about this

13th June

Swear you’ll keep a secret

I swear I won’t say a word.

What is it?

[Penelope sends a picture of painted denim jacket hanging on the back of one of her dining chairs]

No way!

[Hungry One 🦛 forwards a picture of a sketchbook with a pencil sketch of a girl that looks like Sophie]

I knew Sophie looked familiar!

Ben is gonna lose his mind when he finds out his mystery girl doesn’t even live in London.

Yeah but we can’t tell him

What why not

I promised Sophie

Did it mean as much to her as it does to Ben?

She… is very quiet about the whole thing.

I think so, though.

I think she’s really nervous about it all. She doesn't regret what happened but

she said she bolted after finding out he’s a Bridgerton.

You lot come with a lot of expectations and baggage.

She’s not comfortable with that

You make it seem like we’re toxic

No, just in a whole other league us mere mortals are not equipped to cope with

You handle it well

We’re under the radar. Your family doesn’t know we’re involved.

I also grew up with you lot.

She comes from a very very different background

Ben knows we talk. Among other things

Talking and dating are two different things.

If Ben finds out he won’t stop until he woos her into submission

And that’s bad because

She’s not ready for that

It’s been a year, Pen

She thought she’d never see him again.

So why steal his coat if she didn’t want the reminder?

I really do think she feels the same way

So what do you want to do about it? You’re not telling me just to gossip about your friend

I thought you’d want to know

I can’t do nothing, Pen.

It’s against the bro code.

When someone knows where the love of your life is we gotta make it happen.

You’ve gotta let Ben decide if she’s worth it to him - and if I know my brother he’ll move mountains to make it work

That’s what she’s afraid of

Why not give it a shot

I don’t know.

Fear of falling and failing I suppose

What’s the worse that can happen? They find out they’re not compatible and break up

Heartbreak is a real bitch

But it could be so beautiful! They could go the distance.

All they have to do is try.

Put themselves out there, let their hearts open up and be rewarded

We can’t tell him

Does she know I'm his brother?

Idk, she's never said anything.

I don’t think she’ll trust me if I tell her now...

Pen

Let’s let fate or destiny or the powers that be bring them together, hm

You’ve got to tell her. It’s unfair.

Wouldn’t you want to know if you were one degree away from the person you’re in love with?

I wouldn’t put myself in that situation

I’d want to know.

Even if she lived a hundred miles away, I would want to know if my brother knew where she was

if he's had dinner and drinks and has built a friendly rapport with her

I’d want the choice to act on it or not.

So, what, you tell Ben?

You tell him you’ve been staying with me and that Sophie is my friend?

and you send him knocking on my door begging for an introduction?

No. It’d be more elaborate than that if you let a Bridgerton scheme

Does he know you stay with me?

Does your family know?

He and Ant know I have a launchpad up north with a friend.

But they don’t think it’s me

I don’t know what they think

And you haven’t told them because…

We agreed to keep this casual, no?

We did and I’m not saying to change but like

reflect on why you don’t want them in know of this friendship of ours.

And then see how that might affect Sophie - someone who knows nothing of you guys

Can’t they keep it just between them?

I think she’s afraid of being just another muse.

She's seen tabloid images and obviously pieces he's done of Genevieve and Tilley etc.

You can't preemptively compare what he had with them to what he could have with Sophie

I'm not!

Believe it or not I'm being bipartisan here.

I haven't told her anything I know about Ben or the family.

I need you to keep this between us, Col. Please.

If you think that's best, fine.

Thank you❤️

but, like, what are the odds?!

The universe always conspires to point a Bridgerton to their soulmate 💛

16th June • 17:26

I really do miss you, Pen

That lonely, huh?

Yes.

But also I have had way too much time to think

Penelope read at 20:35

20:44

Do you ever think that things happen for a reason? Like everything you’re doing is meant to happen no matter how lost and listless you feel? Or how life would be different if we didn’t reconnect. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if we didn’t cross paths that night, or if we didn’t acknowledge one another, or if we were awkwardly pleasant and went our separate ways, or godforbid we left it at a one night stand. In all these scenarios I can’t even come up with a good ending. I can’t imagine my life without you, Pen.

22:06

[Hungry One 🦛 sends a screenshot of Penelope's most recent Instagram story: She’s at what looks to be a sitting room in a house party. She's surrounded by four men and Mel all huddled together for this candid picture. Penelope is just sitting a little too close to one of the guys - a boy with dusty blonde hair and skin as pale as a porcelain doll. So close that she’s perched on his lap with her arm thrown around his neck and looking just too comfortable]

Looks like you're having fun!

New friends?

17th June  • 00:15

yeah :) jealous? ;)

No....

Thinking about me in your lap?

No....

Remember that time we went skinny dipping in the lake?

I don't think it could be call skinny dipping if we were all in our underwear

but yes i remember

some idiot slipped on the dock and got a two inch splinter in his ass

Don’t act like you don’t love my ass

I’m surprised I’m not scarred for life.

you also got a temporary tramp stsmp that night

I did get into Oxford

Penelope read at 00:33

00:40

Home doesn't feel like home without you.

are you drunk?

just thinking a lot

about us? our past?

yea amongst other things

01:22

You have nothing to worry about

We're just friends

WE'RE friends

Not that kind of friends

Good. That's good

Is it

Isn't it?