#one aspect of dick and tim's brotherhood that i like a lot is that in some ways in his relationship with tim

[silverwhittlingknife]

nightwing secret files | nightwing 139

so in nightwing secret files and origins, there's a hurt/comfort storyline called "lost pages: teen titans." dick's robin and he's grieving for his parents and having a hard time, and he's gone off on his own, and wally comes and finds him. and then in nightwing 139, there's a hurt/comfort story where tim's robin, and he's grieving and he's gotten kidnapped and tempted into trying to resurrect his loved ones, and dick comes and finds him.

both of these comics are wonderful & i would now like to share my favorite parallels.

brooding over memories:

anger turning into tears:

outstretched hand of affection:

teary removal of mask:

hugs and family:

anyway i love these stories separately but i also love all the little ways they echo each other <333

[bigskydreaming]

what are dick's love languages?

Y'know, I do think a lot of the usual suspects do apply here, like he is a tactile person, he does like verbal affirmation of feelings, both giving and receiving.....but one that I see as fairly unique to him, is like, I think trust is one of his love languages in a way that's a little tricky to explain but makes total sense in my head, lol.

I THINK I've written a whole post about that already, it was one where we were talking about Dick having/needing flaws and I was going on about how narrative flaws don't have to be inherently negative, they just need to sow conflict, and one of the examples I raised was that I feel like trust is one of Dick's love languages, and so back in the early years with Bruce, the fact that Bruce seemed to trust Dick so completely, not just in the usual senses but also trust IN Dick to be capable of the things Dick did as Robin, much like his parents had put their faith in him from a very young age, that he was capable of doing all the things he ultimately came to be capable of on the trapeze....like I think that sort of total and complete trust goes hand in hand for Dick, because for as long as he can remember, that and unconditional love were a packaged deal. He never had one without the other, so they were kinda one and the same.

And initially with Bruce, this just got reinforced albeit without either of them realizing it, because Bruce might not have been quick to say I love you or hug Dick, but he demonstrated the same total faith in Dick and what he was capable of that Dick had received from his parents, BUT very rarely anyone else in life, like a marked difference from the way people outside of his two family units treated him. And for a long time, this WORKED for them, but the problem in never realizing what trust meant to each of them and how it could be so similar but yet so different, like.....the problem was, as long as Dick HAD that kinda unconditional faith in him that Bruce showed early on, he didn't NEED the verbal or physical affirmations of affection as much. He had this at least, and it said 'I love you and trust you' in a language Dick unconsciously understood.' But then seemingly take that trust AWAY, such as when Bruce fired him and seemingly had no faith in Dick's skills or competence after years of putting total trust in them, like....even though the issue was never that Bruce stopped loving OR trusting Dick, WITHOUT the verbal and physical cues as to how Bruce felt about Dick, and without the reassurance of longer lasting ties than just his original wardship, suddenly to Dick it might have looked like Bruce literally just DIDN'T care anymore, that for whatever reason, he'd lost Bruce's faith in him, and his love at the same time.

And meanwhile from Bruce's side of things, the issue was always just his fear of losing Dick and letting his own trauma and issues get the best of him and come between them.....BUT in addition, like, assuming trust works as one of Dick's love languages, then for years it'd been quietly existing as a stand-in for all the other more usual displays of affection. But if Bruce didn't realize the significance of Dick knowing that he had someone's total trust or at least faith IN him, not necessarily like that he was right about everything, it isn't like an oh I think this kid never makes a mistake thing, its more a I fully believe that you're capable of overcoming this issue before you and every other one after it kinda thing....

Like, if Bruce never had reason to fully grasp just how much the trust inherent in their partnership as Batman and Robin like, made UP for the lack of other plainly evident displays of how he felt, so that Dick didn't need those things from him that much as long as he had THIS, instead.....

Then of course he'd by extension, just, totally miss that a huge part of the divide between him and Dick was that WITHOUT Bruce knowing to make up for the lack of plainly evident trust between them and compensate for the shake-up there with OTHER kinds of reassurance as to how he felt about him, Dick wasn't JUST reacting to the idea that Bruce no longer trusted his capabilities as Robin and then Nightwing. That it actually went much deeper for him, in ways Dick probably himself has never fully verbalized. That it shook the very foundations of their relationship, and Dick’s confidence that they even HAD one, because the entire relationship had pretty much from the start been ROOTED in that foundational bedrock that was Bruce’s seemingly complete and total faith in Dick and what he was capable of, so reminiscent of what he’d had with his parents, and the first hint he’d had of anything LIKE that with anyone since them, or even the first spark of hope that he ever COULD have something similar to that again. And which again, he DID for a time have.....and he never truly lost it, its just having not prioritized growing other support pillars for their relationship that didn’t revolve around the Batman and Robin partnership, too much of their relationship had rested on that partnership’s existence, had basically NEEDED it, to shore up the gaps in other aspects of their relationship.

And I argue that you can see other instances of this pattern with other characters as well. Like, in complete reversal of Bruce not realizing the disconnect between he and Dick because of their differing love languages, it could easily be posited that this was a problem with Dick and Tim after the Robin thing as well. Because see, if Dick was trying to learn from Bruce's mistakes specifically, to project himself into Tim's shoes and use what Dick knew from his OWN past experiences....Dick would have run into the exact same problem as Bruce, just from the opposite angle. Because see, for as long as Dick has known Tim, he's made supreme efforts to show Tim that he sees him and appreciates him OUTSIDE of Robin just as much as in the mask. He's always made a point to hammer home that his brotherhood with Tim may have originated with Robin, but it was never conditional on it, and in contrast to how reserved Bruce often is with him, Dick made SURE to express his affection for Tim in all kinds of plainly evident ways, for as long as he'd known him.

So then, see, if Dick on some instinctive level pairs unconditional love and trust on equal footing, like he never really has one without the other because all the people he loves are people he trusts with his life, literally, and vice versa.....by the same token that had him once upon a time fear that Bruce no longer loved him, because it seemed Bruce no longer trusted Dick, and in Dick's eyes you couldn't truly have one without the other......THEN the reverse of that, in order to try and make sure that his siblings always KNOW that Dick loves and values them.....Dick tried to always make sure that was a priority.....BUT neglected to consider that love/trust aren't as innately interchangeable for other people as it is for him.

So on a gut level, it might have never really even OCCURRED to him that Tim might see that as Dick no longer trusting in his overall capabilities (even if Dick didn't believe him about Bruce, believing IN someone doesn't actually mean you have to think they're right about every single thought or idea they have, and just because Dick had doubts about that doesn't mean those ever translated for HIM as doubts IN Tim, the person, the brother, what he was capable of, his overall capabilities and competence and heroism).

But like, you see what I mean? Bruce underestimated the impact that seemingly no longer having Bruce's full trust would have on Dick, and not knowing to buttress that shift in their dynamic with compensating displays of his feelings in other love languages that Dick recognized.....he also made Dick doubt he still loved him.

In contrast, and likely in his very attempt TO avoid repeating the same mistake, as HE saw it from HIS eyes....Dick always made sure to express his love for Tim at every possible opportunity.....and so BECAUSE he was so consistent in expressing his feelings there, HE failed to buttress the shift in his dynamic with TIM, and didn't prioritize showing Tim he still trusted him and had faith in him in other ways....because by virtue of how closely Dick links love and trust, it would totally make sense in his mind that well, how could Tim NOT think Dick still has total faith in him, when he had all this evidence that Dick loved and valued him REGARDLESS of Robin and always had? Why would not being Robin take away that trust, when Dick had always made sure to reinforce his faith in Robin with verbal affirmations of loving his little brother?

But like, even though I think his first parents were always affectionate with Dick in a variety of ways, I do think it all goes back to that root, like, FAITH that you have to show in a kid, make a kid BELIEVES he has, on every single level.....in order to learn to do the things Dick did from a very early age. Flying was a family thing, only family could do it, and thus flying, and all the trust that went into making it possible, into helping each other achieve it as a GROUP.....like, it all added up to love, in Dick's experience. There'd never been any NEED for him TO separate the one from the other and mark a distinction. And even when he ended up in Gotham, he and Bruce had issues connecting at first, with them only really gelling once Dick became Robin....at which point, this is when Dick probably started to BELIEVE he could trust this man when he said he cared about him....because he wouldn't be so willing to put his full faith in Dick and what he was capable of, when everyone else Dick encountered had nothing but doubts to show him.....like, in Dick's eyes, Bruce couldn't possibly put the trust he had in their partnership of Batman and Robin if he DIDN'T care, right? Because that's a family thing. That's what that level of intimate trust and faith in each other MEANS, to Dick.

And then when that seemingly went away, Dick floundered, because it ALL seemingly went away at once....you take away the one, you can't possibly still keep the other, that's not how it works. Which is why its so important to him to always make sure everyone else in his family knows just how he feels about them, with words and actions, because that way the heartache he'd felt when he was younger and doubting his place in Bruce's heart would never repeat with them, hopefully....because as long as Dick was showing them his affection at every opportunity, how could they doubt his total trust in them, his family, at the same time?

Anyway, like I said, I definitely think I wrote a whole post about it before so I'm gonna go and try and find that instead of getting into all that here for a second time. Because that's definitely not what I already did. Nope, this was just me making a quick summary of my thoughts on this matter as a placeholder while I went hunting around for that other post that I can reblog so that I don't have to expound on this idea in depth a second time. Since that would be silly of me. So I obviously did not do that. Yeah. So.....anyway.....