#once the person is comforted and calms down the puffs eventually just kinda wander off sensing there is no food anymore. their job is done

[tsukuna]

Side by Side

Summary: You wandered into Red Grave City to warn the “Legendary Devil Hunter” of a certain… negative shift in the area’s energy. It was an energy you knew to be demonic, and it grew stronger by the day. But on your way to meet with the intermediary, a noisy bird caught your attention. A noisy bird that would bring you to a frail man on the brink of falling apart.

Rated M • Female Reader • Before the Events of DMC V• Under the Cut • Part 1  •  Part 3

“People who come asking for demon extermination… most of them tend to either lie or exaggerate,” Dante began slowly, fiddling with his fingers. “I’m not that petty to get mad about it every single time. Lie if you want to, I’ll kill that demon regardless…” The devil hunter paused. “But you’ve got to pick better names for stories you come up with, you know?”

A deep shiver went down your spine causing you to flinch. This aura is overwhelming. From the moment you entered the building, you could smell that the man wasn’t purely human, but you never would’ve guessed this was how strong his demonic side was. From your peripheral, it appeared V was feeling the same chills as you.

“It’s fine if you doubt me,” V said after a moment. “It will become apparent once Redgrave is demonised.”

You released your tension through a sigh as Dante seemed to calm himself back down, though you couldn’t help but notice his expression of disbelief. This demon--Vergil--must have been one he’s encountered before.There was little point in speculating though, you did what you came to do and delivered the warning as did V.

Turning around, you noticed him staring at a picture of a woman on Dante’s desk. You quirked your brow as he grimaced and walked away from it with a “tch.” What a strange man.

“Thank you Dante,” you turned to the Devil Hunter once more and gave a short bow. His blue eyes only glanced at you before he nodded in response. “Let’s be off then,” you quietly said while taking V by the arm.

A brisk wind blew past as you exited the building. You shuddered and rubbed your arms to warm them up. V placed a hand on your shoulder. It was done a bit awkwardly, but there was a warmth and comfort to it that made your expression soften. “I’m staying here in Redgrave,” you declared.

“As am I,”  he reciprocated.

“We should stick together then, hm?” You laughed, “Or is that too forward of me?” The suggestion did seem to genuinely surprise the man.

“I don’t think I’m particularly great company.”

“I’m not sure that I know what good company is anyways,” you shrugged.

“You can obviously see that I’m the best fucking company,” and with that, Griffon was once again nestled in your hair. You reached up and used your fingers to ruffle his feathers a bit. Huh, they’re actually quite soft.

“Yes Griffon, I am aware that you are the epitome of camaraderie.” Even in the dark, you could see V roll his eyes.

“See, Shakespeare? This is the type of compliment you should be giving m--”

V shoved his cane in the bird’s mouth. “Not a chance.” He then said your name. The amount of people who ever knew your actual name could be counted on your fingers, so your heart lurched a bit at the sound. “Let’s stick together.”

“Mm,” you agreed. “It’s a shit place, but I did manage to scrounge up some extra cash and afford a motel the other day.” Griffon made a sound as close to a whistle as his strange beak  could make and promptly received a flick in the eye from you.

“What the fuck was that for!” He squawked.

“Oh you know goddamn know what that was for,” you pointed your finger in his face. A candid chuckle came from V, and it warmed your cheeks up. “Amazing, I didn’t realize you could be that cute,” you patted him on the back. Before he could respond, you began to walk towards the motel. “It’s this way,” you beckoned. And so he followed. Even Shadow decided to manifest, perhaps even shape-shifting, demon cats like to stretch their legs.

The trip wasn’t a long one and you were soon unlocking the door. Griffon and Shadow busted in before you could even step past the threshold.

“What a luxury!” the chatterbox exclaimed. You were thoroughly amused watching him fly in circles, even Shadow began to circle for a comfy spot on the bed.

“Welcome to my humble, temporary abode. Considering that this place probably isn’t… the most cared for, I understand if you want to keep the shoes on. I have a feeling you’re a little sensitive about mess considering the burger situation earlier today.”

“While I don’t relish being called sensitive, I suppose you’re not wrong,” V sighed. You also realized that the room was rather small, big enough to fit only the bed and a little bathroom with a cramped shower. There wasn’t even floor space.

“Aaand it looks like we’ll all be sharing the bed,” you looked away sheepishly. “But first, I’m going to shower. I reek like residual demon blood from holding you.”

“I’ll go after then,” he nodded. “I probably smell worse than you.”

“Yeah, you absolutely do,” you glanced over your shoulder. Judging by the eruption of laughter from Griffon, someone found your comment to be amusing. You began undressing as you made your way to the bathroom, eventually shutting the door behind you.

The hot water hitting your skin eased all the weird feelings inside of you. This was the longest amount of time you spent with someone in years. Not only was that a cause of unease, but V was also an eccentric character. There were moments where he was near impossible to read--not to mention his connection to the demonic entities and a deep understanding of this emerging problem.

You ended up sitting down as you worked on washing your hair, but you decided against showering too long since you had another person waiting to clean up. After toweling off, you changed into a t-shirt and shorts that you luckily brought. You knew once your head hit that pillow, you’d be out for the night. A lot had happened. “You’re free to shower V,” you let him know upon walking out of the bathroom. He observed you with a strange look on his face, which made you realize that you were holding the dagger from your boot in your hands. “Ah, I keep this on me for obvious reasons.”

“It’s quite intricate,” V noted as he began to get up, and he was right. It was ornate with a hilt of blue and gold. “I’ll try to not be too long.” You waved him off and jumped onto the lumpy mattress, being careful not to puncture the bed. It shocked you that both Shadow and a chatty bird like Griffon appeared to be sound asleep. That’s kinda adorable. You took your half of the bed, tucking yourself in and getting as comfy as you could in that room. Consciousness left you swiftly once your eyes closed.

You found yourself lying in a patch of dewy grass, groggy and with a pulsing headache. Turning your head, you saw vicious flames destroying a beautiful home. “What a shame,” you murmured as you slowly rose up from the ground and massaged your temples. You hugged your knees and watched the dance of orange and red with the sounds of crackling. Funny how fire was so utterly destructive, yet full of the warmth you reluctantly craved.

A scent assaulted your nostrils. It was a scent that could only mean demons. You whipped your head around to find the source. There were demons of bone, carrying scythes… and there was a boy with white hair getting surrounded by them. “Oh shit!” You began to sprint as fast as your body could take you and began to pull paper talismans from your pocket.

The scythe was coming down and even from a distance, you could see the boy’s face full of fear. “No fucking way,” you yelled and slapped down the seal. The demon’s body concaved and turned to dust. You took the little boy by the shoulders and searched for wounds. A bloodied cut on his forehead stained some of his silver hair. You wore bandages around your hands to hide some scarring, but what did it matter at that moment. Tearing it off, you quickly got into taking care of the bleeding. Luckily it was small and quick to heal up and away. He also didn’t appear to have any other physical injuries. You picked up his little, shivering body. “We have to go,” you urged and brushed his bangs back.

“I can’t go,” he sobbed out, though you could see he was straining to remain strong. “My mom and brother are going to come out. I have to wait for them.” You turned once more to the house. It was consumed by fire and black smoke. There was no way anyone was coming out of there.

“We need to get you to safety okay? I’ll go grab them after I ward the demons away from you, okay?” The boy’s blue eyes, stained with fear, bored into you until he finally nodded. “I’ll keep you here so you can see.” And with that, you grabbed your dagger and sliced open your palm. You gently placed it into the dirt and began to recite words from a language long forgotten. Rays of divine light began to surround the boy.

But it would not be finished. Your body collapsed before you could close the gap, and you could see demons lurking to exploit that whole. You attempted to reach forward and finish what you started. The boy called out for you, afraid of all that was going on around him. Your fingertips nearly touched until your limbs began to disintegrate into puffs of dark clouds.

“Live.”

Your eyes snapped open and your chest pounded. What an awful fuckin’ dream. You examined yourself, relieved to see that all your body was fully intact.

“What is it?” A jolt of adrenaline shot through you until you remembered you were not alone in the room.

“Oh... V. You scared me,” you mumbled sheepishly, “I forgot you were there.” You flopped back down onto the pillow. He offered a groggy apology that you waved away. “Not your fault, I’m just a little on edge from a dream.” You buried yourself deeper into the covers but couldn’t stop shivering, so you slowly inched closer to the inside of the bed.

V, who noticed the movements, looked at you strangely. “I’m really fucking cold,” you explained, slightly embarrassed. “Just trying to mooch a little more of your body heat without throwing myself onto you.”

“I know a sure way for you two to get warmer real quick,” Griffon mockingly crowed from on top of the bed frame. You swiftly reached your hand up and plucked out one of his feathers. “Shit! I’m just saying!” He pecked your hand away so you couldn’t grab another feather.

“Just be quiet already,” V grumbled. There was a pause in the room. “I don’t care if you get closer,” he eventually offered in the darkness of the room. It was an offer you took immediately and soon enough, the two of you were packed side to side under the blanket. Both of you were stiff from the unfamiliar contact, but if you were honest with yourself, it was nice. Sharing the warmth with another person was something you always yearned for as a child. Perhaps Griffon understood the sentiment because he quickly plopped himself between your heads.

Lucky for you, you were still exhausted, so the awkwardness of the situation didn’t prevent you from passing out yet again.

There were no more dreams that night. You woke to dried drool on your chin, messy hair, and V sitting up and reading his book.

“Rise and shine princess!” Griffon chirped.

“Ugh, please don’t give me a headache upon waking up,” you groaned, earning a cackle from the demon. After stretching in bed for a bit, you finally stood up.  “I can already sense that I look disgusting, I’m gonna clean up.”

It didn’t take long for you to do the basics of brushing hair, washing your face off, and brushing your teeth. What did take time was re-bandaging select areas of your body--a hand, a calf, your abdomen--lest you get even stranger looks from people. It was impossible for V to have not seen though while you undressed the night before and while you slept. In fact, you took note that he was actually considering the bandages and clothes you were wearing, as if he noticed something.

“Do you have something to ask me about?” He considered your question for an irritatingly long time. “Just come out with it,” you rolled your eyes. “I don’t care.”

“You have a lot of scarring and markings all along your body,” V commented.

“Indeed I do.”

“I don’t understand why you hide it,” he shrugged.

“I’d prefer not to attract the stares of others with scars and tattoos that mark a treacherous past.”

“Scars indicate power and strength.”

You couldn’t contain your burst of laughter. “If only others thought like you! With the amount of shit I got going on, no one would try to fuck with me!” V let a smirk out as well. “But hey, how is your body feeling today?”

“Weak, but that’s normal,” he clearly spited that fact.

Making your way closer, you put a hand on his chest. “Your energy is a lot more stable than it was when I found you. But it could use some support. Can I help?”

“I’ve always loathed the help of others. I hate this sense of powerlessness, but I don’t wish to die,” V stated. You took that as the go-ahead. With a deep breath, you once more began to pour pieces of yourself into the man. The stone within the ring you treasured shifted from blue to white, as it was so intricately intertwined with your life.

You could feel V shift underneath you. “I’m sorry, this must be uncomfortable for you.”

“It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt, and I will do what it takes to survive. I will endure whatever till that demon is gone.” You hummed in understanding.

“Your body should be good for now,” you pulled away.

“Thank you,” V said softly while retying his shirt.

“Hey, thanks from the whole gang! If Shakespeare dies, we die too!” By the grimace on V’s face, you presumed that Griffon revealed a bit more than he would’ve liked.

“Well, along with the rules of the quid pro quo I laid out, I suppose I should say something that my life is linked to, yeah?” Those dark green eyes looked at you inquisitively. “If this ring here shatters,” you put your hand out to him so he could see, “I’m donezo.” The sentence came out rather matter-of-factly and without feeling despite it being about your demise. “Aaand if you wish to know more about that, you gotta let me know something,” you winked.

“I’ll let you know when I think of something,” V replied competitively.

“You two or oh so interesting and all, but what hijinks are we up to today?” Griffon butted in.

“What does the little chicken wish to do today?”

He narrowed his eyes at you but ignored the jab. “Those cheesy circle things,” he declared.

“Pizza?” You tilted your head.

“Yeah, that! Pizza!”

You turned out your pockets to see how much money was left. It was a couple dollars and some rogue coins. “It appears that we’ll have to go ‘earn’ some money again.”

“You mean fucking some more people up?” The little bird seemed quite excited at the prospect.

“There’s that, but there’s probably some less damaging routes we can go.”

“Boo.” Griffon said before dissipating.

“We’ll need to find a shitty bar first,” you told V and began tying your boots back on.

“Why a bar?” He didn’t seem to relish the idea.

“I know they’re full of scumbags, but those scumbags are also dumbasses who don’t know how to keep their money safe. Trust me,” you added.

“So you’re proposing that we steal,” V replied skeptically.

“Oh I’m sorry, is that too lowly for you?” The man’s expression tightened at the taunt.

“Whatever,” he waved away whatever argument was about to begin. “Lead us and do what you will.”

The two of you walked out of the room back into the sun. The search for a trashy hangout was afoot. Small talk ensued between you and V, but nothing all that engaging. It ended up falling into a silence--not that you minded. The walk wasn’t too long anyways, cesspool bars were always aplenty in the back alleys of cities.

“That one.” You pointed to an “establishment” called The Cat Trap. It featured the name in neon pink lights and the sexy silhouette of a woman. The face V made was if you just shoved a sour lemon in his mouth. “There will be plenty of disgusting, drunk men to take from. My only hope is that there’s enough money to justify entering such a filthy place.”

A deep, dramatic sigh came from him, “Let’s just get this over with so we can eat.”

“Give me your arm. It’ll look better if we appear to be together.”

“Are we not together,” he questioned.

“Shut up,” you punched him in the shoulder. “You know I meant together together.”

V gave you his arm with a sigh, which you promptly looped in your own. “You fade into the background and take money however you can,” you instructed. “Maybe even use bits of Shadow to help out.”

He looked to you then began to lead the way in. Lo and behold, it was a dimly lit, dirty looking bar. It was a little surprising how many people were there despite it being daytime. How lucky.

Almost immediately, a man who reeked of alcohol stumbled towards you. “Hello, there sweety. Looking for a good time?” He gave you a wink with his already half-lidded eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you gave a half-assed apology, “I’m not here alone.”

“I don’t see anyone with you,” it was gross watching him look you up and down.

“V, come over!” He drew towards you with a confused expression. “As you can see, I’m with my boyfriend.” A total lie, I’ve never had a boyfriend.

“Boyfriend? That scrawny guy?” he slurred rather loudly and tried to size him up. “How about you come with me instead, sexy? I can show you a much better time.” The patron groped your ass. You gave him the sweetest smile you could before decking him square in the nose. It made an audible crunch and you looked in disgust at his blood on the bandages around your hand.

“How vile,” you scowled and unwrapped yourself, dropping the dirty cloth on the man. “You should feel truly blessed that I didn’t break your hand off.” You juxtaposed the deadpan tone with a pleasantness. “Let us be off, darling,” you said while turning on your heel and taking his hand.

“Hah!” Griffon burst out into laughter once the coast was clear for him to re-emerge. “Who knew you were such a hardass. You should teach Shakespeare a lesson or two!”

“I would rather not kill him.” V made no effort to hide his glare. “I jest, I jest!” You threw your hands up in submission. “How much money did you get though?”

He shuffled through an array of bills. “Enough.”

“Let’s go get this tweety bird his pizza then.” Pleased by your response, Griffon decided to perch on your shoulder. All of you agreed upon getting takeout instead of sitting in an establishment, and you were grateful that it was take-and-go at the shop you found.

The group of you found a deserted alley and rested against the brick wall. “The two of you probably want to eat first, huh?” With a sigh, you opened the box and fed Griffon with one hand and Shadow with the other. It was… cute--other than the demon cat’s slobber getting all over your hands.

“You’re far too nice to them,” V seemed to chastise you.

With a shrug, you responded, “I’ve always loved animals. They aren’t nearly as shitty as people, even demonic pets like these little guys.” Were it not for the bite of pizza in his mouth, Griffon surely would have complained that he was called ‘little.’ “Alright, it’s my turn to eat.” You made sure to thoroughly wipe your hands before digging into what was left. “Oh yeah, sorry for calling you my boyfriend,” you said between bites.

“Can’t say I particularly cared. Unfortunately it didn’t keep him away.”

“Mhm,” you hummed through a mouthful of food.

The day ended unceremoniously, nothing of consequence happened and the night went much like the night before. Only a couple days passed until the Qliphoth began to take root in Redgrave, and May 16th finally came. It was time to regroup with Dante.

[groovycatcollector]

The Wonderfully Right, And The Horribly Wrong (Daryl Dixon Love story)

Summery: After losing her brother and his wife, one young woman is left on her own, caring for a new born and trying to survive. After being taken in to a community after years of mistrust, how will she adapt, and what effect will a certain archer have on her. Starts the last episode of season 5

Warnings: slow-burn, angst, eventual fluff, violence, strong language. ptsd, age gap

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x OFC

Chapter 9

I had decided to stay awake after one of the baby’s feeds, I had told Maggie I’d help her planting some veg, considering food supplies were running low. I had time before I would go to the infirmary and my mind was still buzzing with distrust for Alexandria. But knowing I should stay for the baby I did, wanting to give him a better chance, so I occupied my days, distracting myself from my gut screaming at me that something was gonna go wrong.

The sun was just lightening the sky without making an appearance, so it was cool enough to work. I was already to go; food packed, baby fed and in a basket, just my hair.

I was standing in front of a mirror in the sitting room. I couldn’t brush it, it was too curly and it would only puff it up more. My last hair elastics broke last night so I stared helpless at the ringlets in the mirror. I could shave my head?

I’m not shaving my head …

After deciding not to shave my head, I graded a pencil (Something one of my older sisters had thought me) and twisted it and weaved it into my hair; leaving me with a low bun. It wouldn’t keep it off my neck but it would stay out of my face. Deciding that was enough for me I wrapped my new found scarf around my head once, making sure to secure my baby hairs and front strands in the fabric. Tying it at the base of my neck around the bun, leaving the flimsy material falling loosely at my shoulder blades.

**

 “One Russian name and one normal name?” Maggie confirmed, using her foot too glide the spade into the ground. “Yep, family tradition, honour the grandparents” I grunted, following suit. The sun had risen, and oh mama it was hot. We had started working before dawn, so we had a few tomatoes plants in the ground, and the conversation has drifted to the Christening tomorrow, and the lack of a name.

I’m guessing Maggie was also tired with an aching back by her strained reply “I don’t know many Russian names so you’ll have to excuse my lack of input there”. I huffed with a smile “I was thinking maybe Luke? Does he look like a Luke to you” I straightened glanced at the baby, who at this stage couldn’t really crawl; only sat there content with his big hat. Maggie halted, turning to look at him clumsily pulling out grass “He could be a Luke”

I decided to test it out “Hey” I called at the oblivious infant “You think you’re a Luke?” Waiting a moment, looking as he tried to put a blade of grass into his mouth before it fell from his weak grip. “Okay not Luke” I announced before bending back over continuing my work.

We were quiet concentrating for a few more minutes. “You thought of any names for yourself?” I asked, whipping a bead of sweat from my neck. The sound of shovels scratching threw dirt filled my ears before she gathered an answer. “Haven’t really thought about it yet, suppose it’s still early days” She said, focusing her eyes on the ground.

I nodded “Just be careful you don’t end up like me, waiting for the day before you have to name him” She chuckled at that.

 When the sun got high I wondered over to the infirmary. I was reading a book I snagged from the hippie on natural herbs, writing out Denise’s beloved Short Cuts on a sheet of paper for each herb. Luckily not many were sick, so besides writing all of my useless information I just tidied up. It was nice, I felt like it was summer vacation and I was down at my Grandpa’s practice.

Denise and I sat on the porch, still in the shade. She looked off long fully in the distance at Tara on post while I quizzed her on her spread sheet. We had come up with a routine of cleaning, testing cheat sheets, cleaning again, and home time (If no one came in of course)

“Infection” I called out agents the hot air. Denise groaned, flopping back onto the wooden panels.  “No, I’m sick of this” she exclaimed rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. I was sick of it too in all honesty. I lay next to her book on my chest “Yeah me too” I admitted staring up at the white porch roof. I glance across at her, she reminded me of Sonya, just getting in her head all the time, and trying to pull it all together for other people.

“How’re things with Tara?” I asked, somewhere between genuinely curious and just making small talk. “They’re fine, we moved in together” She sighed. Oh shit big step.

 Hold the fuck up that’s a very big step. I bolted up right “What the fuck, I see you ever single day for the past five weeks and you didn’t say anything?” I starred, mouth wide open.

Denise shrugged defensively “I dunno Nina I didn’t think it was that important” My eyes darted to Tara who stood on the watch tower. I scoffed, repeating her “Not a big deal” before lay back down. It was quiet for a moment, just listening to the baby babbling in his highchair before Denise broke the pause in dialogue.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you” She said, putting her face in my direction but still not meeting my eyes. “I guess I was kinda scared how you’d react” She paused, biting her lips thinking “With you being so religious and all”

I narrowed my eyes, not fully understanding her meaning before it all clicked into place, which caused an eruption of laughs burst from my stomach. She looked at me bewildered before I could catch my breath, whipping a tear away from my eye. 

“Dude” I gasped “Dude I’m catholic not an asshole” Her look of shock, followed by a small chuckle of relief calmed me a little.

I lolled my head to look at her “So you’re not homophobic” She asked still chuckling, I offered her a smile before leaning in and whispering “Not an asshole” while putting my hand on hers while we lazily starred up at the roof. I liked Denise, she reminded me of what it was like to have a sister, even if she presumed I was an asshole.

“Sooo” She sang, just as my mind was beginning to wander too far into sadder thoughts. “What’s going on with Daryl?” She cocked on eyebrow teasingly.

Confusion shocked my body, now I definitely didn’t expect that. I got on with Daryl, but I don’t think I’m into him “what about him?” I asked, cautiously.

I’ve gotten too comfortable here, just the hint of romantic relationships got my palms sweating. Now it was Denise’s turn to let a giggle “Are you kidding? You guys are always looking at each other and I see you guys early mornings talking to each other” Her nose was scrunched up like a kid tattling on their friend to teacher.

It’s true we had made a routine of crossing paths when I would feed the baby, and we would get up to hunt or get ready for a run. I just never figured it would spark town gossip.

“We are not always looking at each other” I said defensively. She scoffed sitting up “Nina you both are constantly gazing at each other from across the street!” I sat up next to her leaning agents the wall, her crossed legged and my arms resting on my bent knees. What in tarnation, gazing? I don’t gaze, I’m a Price and we’re not a gazing family

“We do not gaze”

“Then why are you getting so defensive”

“I’m not getting defensive”

Denise through her hands up in the air in defeat “Okay okay nothings going on, shouldn’t have asked” She looked down rubbing her palms together after I thanked her. Suddenly her face contorted in a smile “Say…” She sounded way too pleased with herself for this to end well.

“What are you doing later today?” Shit. I chewed my lip “I’m going helping with the cars” I answered bluntly, trying not to show just how completely she caught me.

“And who is it again who’s doing the cars today?” I hope that smile was hurting her face, it was far too big. My shoulders slouched in defeat, trying to hide my smile, my signal of “You got me” as Denise burst out laughing.

“You” She said, pushing my shoulder making me wobble “Are full of shit” I barely got to mumble a ‘Am not’ before the doctor continued her sentence “And I think you two would be cute”

“Fuck off”

 **

Me and Daryl, that’s weird, crazy even. Just because I get on with someone who’s reasonably attractive and single doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them

Even if I just said they were attractive. Not the point.

I’m gonna go in there, and be cool, chilled, just doing car stuff. And I’m a friendly person, I’m friendly with everyone. Sure I spent a little more time with him but so what?

 I walked into the garage seeing Daryl with his head under the hood of one of the cars. His back was covered by a black vest top but his shoulders were glistening with the sweat, and his hair was damp and sticking agents his neck; obviously not enjoying the summer heat.

“Hey, need any help” I asked, putting the baby on the floor “I know a thing or two about cars” I leaned agents the car and peered into the engine, seeing it had all its parts.

“Had a boyfriend that was into cars?” He taunted, still not looking at me, knowing it would get on my nerves.

“My daddy was a mechanic” I clarified. He shot me a glance from behind the dirt and oil that covered his face “Thought you’d been more into them pageants” His mouth came up in a half smile, just flashing his teeth.

A wicked grin grew on my face “Oh yeah, real big into thoughts, won a few too” I hoped he could pick up on my sarcasm, pushing him over so I could get a better look at the valves threw the walker blood “But that’s only because I slept with the judges” I looked up and gave him a big smile but the look on his face ment I couldn’t hold back a laugh “Dann I never thought I’d see you look shocked” I said, slapping him on his back. See? Friendly.

Then a grumble past his lips “Always knew you’d be easy” Without looking up I punched his arm.

Sonya was into Pageants, real good. She won a scholarship to a nursing school in New York kinda good.

“You’d wanna know” I said, sticking my hand into the slimy shit stuck in the engine and pulling it out.

 Just too buds, having laughs, no feelings.

Part one Part two Part three Part four Part five Part six Part seven Part eight Part ten Part eleven

Tags:@buckysjuicyplums

[lifeafterten]

RtN 06: Kathmandu... Dude, Where am I?

Please note that everything from this point on is new as fuck to me. Walking down the steps as we got off the plane I felt... Cold as shit. Beneath my pull over I felt my skin prickle as I struggled to suppress a shiver. I breathed out slowly. It took me a while to recognize the wispy puffs as my breath in the cold night air.  Ah shit. Well, that’s a first. Lani smiled at me, her eyes glowing in her excitement despite the time (which was late), “We’re here!”

We certainly were. If the large “Welcome” sign with a Buddha statue was any indication. 

I felt my hand tighten around the duffel strap resting on my chest. Well Ashley, you managed to get your ass here. Now what? It was a valid question, but I assumed first order of business was to be where we needed to be.. and where we needed to be was where the crowd was.  Very fish-like... This whole “following-the-crowd” business. Very salmon-swimming-up-stream feel. Too many people. Too many bodies. Not enough room. Not enough air. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep quiet as I tried to keep my panic internal.  I’m successful. I was able stamp down the panic quickly and viciously-- feeling accomplished that I haven’t reached the sweating stage.

Going through customs was as nerve wracking as it was... nerve wracking. A plethora of To-Do’s popped in my noggin all at once. Making lists soothes me.

1. Turn in paperwork 2. Find baggage claim 3. Turn in more paperwork 4. Find transportation to Hotel 5. Try not to dwell on who the fuck we’re meeting up with.

Truthfully, 1-4 didn’t bother me nearly as much as 5 did. 1-4 was something I can gladly figure out, I’m good with necessity-- horrible at Humaning. We figured that Paul (Lani’s friend who had invited us on this little excursion) wasn’t going to make it. Sorta figured that part since Hong Kong-- The man went M.I.A for a tad, after apologizing profusely to Lani via WhatsApp.  Don’t know the man personally, but I’ve heard good things from just about everyone.  So this wasn’t a normal occurrence, according to Lani... and that’s all well and good, but that just leaves us with two of Paul’s friends Zach and Adrian. Don’t rightly know who is whom, which Lani finds hilarious that I didn’t correspond with either nor did I even get nosy enough to take a peek at their profile pictures on the WhatsApp group Paul started.  It’s not that I didn’t have an interest on who was coming, I just thought it best to meet people organically.  This generation puts way to much stock on digital meetings that it gets depressing.  And let’s face it-- I can be a little old fashioned sometimes. Despite my lack of digital interaction I was aware that Zach was the more socially active one, I can safely deduce this by the more consistent communication between him and Lani. Truthfully, I don’t think we heard much from Adrian. Hailing our first Nepal Taxi we packed our things in the trunk and slid across pleather seats.

I reached for my seat belt out of habit, because... you know, I like not dying and shit-- but turns out my motives for safety were for naught because this taxi did not have any. No seat belts.  Driver was on the right side. Driver was driving on the left side--Right side--Whatever fucking side he wanted. I was learning that the traffic signs and lanes and rules were more of a suggestion rather than an actual anything. And there were no seat belts. ... Yeah the seat belt thing kinda bothered me. After a few quick-- startlingly sharp-- turns we pull up to the side of the road next to a dark (of course it’s fucking dark, it’s night time) alley. Lani and I looked at eachother, I offered a small, tired smile. “The map did say we’d have to do a short walk to the hotel.” Again, I said this with a calm I did not feel. Feels like I’m gonna be doing that shit alot for the next couple weeks. We smiled politely and paid the man and slid our packs onto our shoulders, duffles and side bags strapped over our chests. “Hotel is not far. Everything okay.” Our taxi driver assured us in heavily accented English before driving away, and we stood on the street staring at the mouth of the alley in silence. I stood there in quiet contemplation.  It’s only a small walk, right? ... Through an unlit alley in a strange country. Just a couple of Guam girls frolicking through the unexplored streets of Nepal. At night. Strapped with every possession we have on our bodies. Passport. Funds. Livelihood. Whatever, right? I’m totally cool with it. ... I totally wasn’t cool with it. ”Welp,” I broke the silence with a jovial tone I once again did not feel and sallied forth, “Let’s get this show on the road.” It really was a short walk, but wandering through uncharted territory always make things feel longer. Our eyes wide to take in as much light as we could as we scanned through the poorly lit street.  We eventually made it to the hotel aptly named Hotel Buddha. It appeared brightly lit compared to the other shops surrounding it, deeming it an actual sight for sore eyes. I felt relief. One more thing to check off the list. I felt calmer knowing that the more things we check off my mental list, the more I felt on track.  I need structure. Too many things are out of my control in life-- I find the ones I can control precious. 

We were escorted to our room as quietly as you please (again, it was the middle of the night), every echo sounding like a shout. You can tell the room had been aired out briefly, but not long enough for the air still held that stale, stuffy feel. Like the air had just started circulating after a bout of stagnancy.  I didn’t take pictures of the room-- I’m shitty at documenting imagery. I’m usually too focused on experiencing with my own eyes and getting lost in my train of thought. But I found a picture that was close enough.

Disclaimer: it wasn’t as well lit. And the picture is way over produced to even touch the reality. This picture is...  more of a romanticized version of what our room was. Though the bed set up was accurate: crisp, white sheets complimented the bold colors of maroon and gold. The beds weren’t uncomfortable; the sheets were clean, there was running water and we weren’t exposed to the elements. Nothing to complain about. It was comfortable enough for me... Well, as comfortable as I could be in a strange room in a strange hotel in a strange place. Ah. There was that feeling small feeling again. I’d have shaken myself if I didn’t think I’d look even more crazy than I felt.  I managed to curb the urge. Just barely.

It wasn’t until I placed my bags onto my designated bed for the next few days when Lani with her phone in hand, decided to drop the bomb on me. “We’re meeting up with Zach and Adrian.” Oh shit. Now now now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with these guys-- Just don’t know ‘em from Adam.  “--- think Adrian just landed an hour or so before us.” my friend kept on while I tried to quell my inner panic for what seemed like the millionth time since we fucking landed. 

I’m not good at meeting new people. I’d already decided on doing the generic cheek kiss thing, knowing if they touched my hands it’d be a dead giveaway that I was an anxious pile of shit.  “---Meeting up in about fifteen minutes, you cool with that? Is that enough time?” Goodness was she still talking? Damn what did she say? Using the power of deduction I’ve gathered that she meant that we were meeting up with them in about 15. I would assume they’re dropping by the hotel, I vaguely remember her saying something-- damn my half listening-- about them being at a bar. --- Wait. Bar. Bar means beer. I could use a beer. I nodded, “yeah, that’s more than enough time.” I was proud that my voice didn’t waver, but instead sounded calm and collected-- dare I say even nonchalant. Good job, Ashley. For not sounding like a little bitch.  Fake it ‘till you make it. That has become my mantra. I wasn’t going to change clothes, so I was pretty much ready... Didn’t really wear make up so I didn’t have anything to fix... So I used this time, instead, to mentally prepare. I’ve learned I had to do this a lot throughout the years. If I don’t, I usually give in to the urge to flee.  Probably not the best thing to do in a foreign place. At night. Did I mention I was in a foreign place? Lani and I found ourselves outside the hotel waiting for our new friends.  I’ve decided on friends, I’m trying out this whole open thing.  I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying. I heard a shout from down the road, two figures amongst other figures walking the street appeared to be making a beeline in our direction. I don’t know about you, but I thought it safe to assume they were who we were waiting for. I also thought it was safe to assume the one with his hands in the air literally waving it like he just don’t care was Zach.

(Disclaimer: Zach isn’t asian. Just happy. Happy to see us or happy in general, I’d guess the latter.) 

The duo got closer. One was smiling. One was not. I immediately deemed the smiling one as Zach, and the one making an attempt at a lip curl that wasn’t a snarl but not quite a smile either was Adrian.

I did my generic “nice to meet you” cheek kissy thingie that seem girls get away with, while Lani did her genuine smile and greetings-- I do envy that of her.   Zach and Lani got on well almost immediately, animated expressions and wide, toothy grins. Happy expressions; excited expressions. I don’t know what to make of Adrian. He makes the same faces I do. Limited. Although his expressions are more limited than mine-- like he’s had more practice. He’s hard to read. I don’t know if I like that much. We immediately start walking in search of a drinking establishment; apparently the bars close a bit early here. It became clear, very quickly, that we basically follow the crowd and the music. I’m hanging back a little bit-- not only because that’s just what I do, but because they’re all pretty tall so I had a wee bit of trouble keeping up with their long legged strides with my stumps I call legs.

We stumbled across a place we deemed the Ninja Turtle Bar, nothing overly creative on our part, really. We just saw a painted rendition of the turtles on the wall and deemed it so.  I heard the music before we entered the elevator, and I felt the music in my chest as we entered it.  As the doors opened we were met with strobe lights and a smokey atmosphere-- cigarettes or a smoke machine I could not tell you.  The music was loud. They were playing 90′s jams which normally I’d not mind if I didn’t feel every beat ricochet in my chest cavity. It was loud... Pretty smokey, we weren’t feeling the vibe so we got a shot in good faith and got the hell out of dodge.

So the first place didn’t work out. No big deal. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits. I think. Wasn’t sure about that Adrian dude, still can’t get a decent read.  Although we did exchange a look of affectionate indulgence when we witnessed Zach and Lani just living their best life. His for Zach, mine for Lani. At least we can agree that we were travelling with balls of sunshine personified.  Maybe I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t that overtly cheerful.  Nothing wrong with being cheerful, just don’t think I could handle that much energy for long periods of time.  Shit. I just got tired thinking about it just now.

With positivity and willpower we found ourselves in a dessert cafe/bar. I know, weird combination, but it was quaint, quiet, and they had beer. I wasn’t going to complain. The staff were friendly and good natured. Zach made friends almost immediately. I’m thinking he does that everywhere he goes. I aspire to be a Zach one day. To be that open and free. I used to be at one point. I have a feeling I know what happened, but I don’t want my mind to go there. I’m on vacation dammit. And I’m negative enough as it is. I’ve never been so glad to see that Lani had poured me a glass of brew.  I plead the sip.

After a few (drinks or hours-- I can’t remember which) we collectively agreed it was time to turn in.  We bid the friendly staff a grinning goodnight-- err morning... whatever-- and stepped out into the street to make our way back to the hotel.

Before leaving earlier that night, the guards told Lani and I to just knock on the security grilles (those pull down shutter lookin’ thingies idfk what they’re called) when we want to be let back in.  Knock knock. Who’s there? We’re back. Welcome back. End scene.

We exchanged ‘good night’s and ‘see you in the morning’s with the boys and headed to our room. Lani was asleep almost immediately as I spent most of the night staring at the back of my eye lids for an hour, before giving up on sleep entirely and eventually opening them to watch the outside change from night to day and listen to the chickens crow signalling the start of a new day while my mind and body are still living yesterday. And the day before. TBC...