#once again pls dont interact at all if you're gonna be a dick or try to tell me im wrong or confused

[jcbbby]

not a fic, but just some thots thoughts about that breeding kink I mentioned with Jamie because......pls........🫣

so imagine y'all get back to the hotel after the con that just happened where he interacted with quite a few little kids/babies.

you're just settling in for the night, getting ready for bed and talking about how the day was. he'd be in boxers and a t-shirt, you in just panties and one of his other shirts.

Jamie would be like "that little baby with the hat today was so sweet today...broke my heart that she started crying." he'd frown and put his hand over his chest.

you'd be like "you were so cute with the little ones today."

"you think so?"

"it was so sweet to watch...you'd be such a good daddy."

he'd smile wide "I like the sound of that from you..."

you'd playfully push his shoulder "Jamie!"

he'd laugh "oh, no! I mean literally, daddy as in a dad...that sounds nice.. and you'd be mommy."

"aww, you'd want me to be the mommy of your baby?"

"oh absolutely, darling. you'd be so beautiful pregnant with my baby, too." he'd pull you into his arms.

"yeah?" you'd ask, nuzzling in.

"definitely." he'd smirk and lean in to start kissing your neck, running his hands all over you.

you'd sigh dreamily as he nibbles at that special spot on your neck before giggling. "whoa, you trying to get me pregnant here tonight, Bower?"

he'd chuckle against you and keep going, kissing and gently biting your neck as he slips a hand under your shirt. "would you like that, hm? if I put a baby in you, our baby?" he'd whisper as he gently slipped his thumb over your nipple, causing you to inhale deeply at how nice it felt, sliding your hand up through his hair.

"don't write checks your dick can't cash, babe..." you'd pull his head back from your neck. "if you say you're gonna get me pregnant...you better put your money where your mouth is." you'd smirk.

he'd push you slowly down on to the bed, climbing over you. he'd hover just above your lips and whisper "oh, I'm going to put a baby in you alright...I'm not gonna stop fucking you until I've filled you to the brim, darling." before he crashed his lips into yours, and you both started clawing at one another.

he'd take off his boxers, and you'd slide off your panties. you'd start to take off your shirt, but he would grab it and do it for you, just so rearing to go at the thought of getting you pregnant, so incredibly turned on by the thought of you walking around carrying his child.

he'd whisper in your ear as he fucks you, saying things like "I'm gonna fill you up" and "you're gonna look so good with my baby in you"

he'd stay inside you after he came, keeping all of his cum inside you, kissing and whispering sweet things to you before he got hard and started thrusting in you again. he'd switch between slow and deep and hard and fast, between making love to you and making sure he came hard enough to get plenty of his seed in you.

you'd both cum a plethora of times and have made a mess of the sheets with how much was spilled out from the both of you. but once he was satisfied with his work, and you were both exhausted and so blissed out, he'd slip out of you, but pull your legs up at an angle. "just to be sure, my love. it's gotta stay in there." he'd smile.

you'd both then cuddle up together to fall asleep, and before you both pass out for the night, he'd say "I can't wait to be mommy and daddy."

GOD I NEED HIM SO BAD. I DONT EVEN WANT KIDS IN MY REAL LIFE BUT I WILL HAVE HIS IF HE ASKED ME I STG.

I desire him carnally 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[electriccenturies]

just writing my thoughts out cause im still Stressed but i feel a bit better rn.

i got fake boobs and they look small and real and i get to take them off at the end of the day or not wear them at all if i dont want to, and i feel like thats a really happy medium for me. I don’t actually miss having boobs, especially not MY boobs, I just feel like I wont be seen as a woman with a flat chest, at least at the moment. so having fake external ones is way way better. i am still worried that no one will want to date me but i guess i dont want to date someone who sees boobs as a dealbreaker anyway.

i have laser on my legs coming up and im looking into electrolysis for my facial hair bc i have very little and im scared of laser making it worse (plus i think it might actually work out to the same price bc of how sparse my hair is??? but it will be 100% permanent so thats good either way). like laser can apparently make vellus hair turn coarser and darker in “0.5%-10% of cases, especially on the face and neck” and I am not risking that statistic! 1 in 200 chance is very different from 1 in 10 lol! im not fucking around with my face. im finally talking to my endo next week too and im gonna see if she’ll put me on blockers or smth so no new hair grows but we’ll see what she says cause im only gonna have like 3mg of T left in me at that point and it will be less than 1mg in a few weeks after that. also im gonna make her do a blood test in december or january to make sure things are getting back to normal. i think it will p fast tbh, i never fully stopped having periods the whole time I was on T so the ovaries are Working. just want to make sure I dont have elevated T from cysts or anything, cause if I do i want to be on blockers.

i want the facial hair gone Now tbh but it will take time, i keep trying to remind myself that the tiny amount i have now took 2.5 years to appear and it will probably take 10+ months to completely get rid of, but hopefully i will get my face cleared for the first time in only 1 or 2 hours in a few weeks. i really fucking hope it doesn’t take longer than that, but even if it does the first few times it should quickly reduce. its gonna be expensive but that will be my “fun” money for the year, and its worth it to feel better in myself, especially since i am able to do it. the rest of my hair is pretty light, ill just wax it myself i think. also it will turn blonder off T i THINK so we’ll see how that goes.

my voice is still weird and kinda bad and difficult to maintain but its getting easier and better i think! and anecdotally people say that going off T ‘lightens’ your voice. I would LOVE that but i dont think its truly physically possible lol, unless its a swelling thing from basically being on a steroid?? i think its likely just ppl subconsciously reverting to their old speaking patterns but hey, if it happens that’s great, im just not counting on it. ALSO major shout out to trans women who make voice tutorials i love you <3 i wouldnt blame trans women for being wary of me in their spaces or even angry at me for doing all this, but the MtF community has honestly shown me so much love and empathy these last few months.

i think i am making my peace with this a little better. I still wish i hadn’t gone on hormones but I did and all things considered I got very, very lucky with how little hair/voice deepening i got considering how long I was on them. all the people i have spoken to have told me it DOES get easier, and I am choosing to believe them. I think i owe it to myself to not despair too much until I am a good while removed from T, thinking clearly, and have started presenting female again. I am definitely reconnecting with all the things i hate about my body and i am coming to terms with the idea that puberty 1 was really fucking traumatic for me, but i will learn to live with those things. like, i have realised that the dysmorphia and the dysphoria aren’t going away unless i deal with them, and so i will Deal. i understand a lot more than when i was 15, i dont have to have breasts anymore, and i think i am ready to love myself for me and just leave gender as an internal experience for now. i am really looking forward to being seen as a woman and not a boy 10 years younger than my real age, even if i am a weird mix of feminine and masculine :D