#on the day we lost power my brother opted to sleep the entire outage while I. wrote some essays (I still haven't finished them btw-.

[donuts4evry1]

// i'm so. incredibly. utterly. tired and overwhelmed. i woke up even more tired than when i slept yesterday. i took a nap yesterday and i don't feel much better

considering i just went through a pretty catastrophic hurricane it's a real surprise to see that i'm more stressed about school than. well. the flooding and all.

[spaceskam]

Inspired by @aewriting's fic because oh my goddddd

ao3

Michael knew a lot of things. He was smart and aware and was sufficiently sure that his species better than the entirety of the human race so there was no point in giving a shit.

Yet, for the life of him, he couldn't stop grinning as he looked at the assigned rooming system for their class trip.

 Michael," Max hissed as he leaned over, his own copy of the syllabus and rooming system in his hand, "We need to request to room together instead."

"What, why?" Michael said, struggling to tear his eyes off the 4D - Michael Guerin, Alex Manes written on his paper. The idea of watching him get ready in the morning and seeing how long it took him to put on his makeup had Michael squirming for some reason.

"Because," Max said, eyes wide like he should've pieces it together, "What if something happens?"

Michael frowned. "Are you still having issues?"

"Yes!" Max insisted, "So we need to both request room changes."

"Well, what the hell am I supposed to say for why I want a room change?" Michael scoffed. He didn't say that he really, really didn't want a room change. Alex was easily the most interesting human being he'd ever seen. If Michael was going to have a human friend, he'd be it. This felt like a good excuse to get to know him.

Max scanned the page to see who Michael was rooming with.

"Easy, it's Alex. Say you're not comfortable rooming with someone who's, you know," Max said, shrugging to fill in the blank. Michael's eyebrows raised.

"Oh, fuck off, I'm not pretending to be a homophobe so you can get off in the shower to the idea of Liz Ortecho's shampoo without worrying someone might see a power outage," Michael told him, shaking his head, "You can go a weekend controlling yourself. And, if not, Iz can work her magic."

"You're a terrible brother."

"Love you too."

-

By the time they were loading onto the bus, Michael's excitement had bled into nerves.

Sure, he was better than humans, but humans were also notorious for thinking they were hot shit. Would Alex be a shitty roommate? It was only a couple days, but that was still hours where they'd be alone in the same room together. Would they bond? Would he piss Alex off? Would they get in a fight?

They'd both been in a lot of fights.

While everyone else packed towards the back of the bus, Alex sat up from behind the teachers. He'd already put his headphones on from what Michael sound see, ignoring every glare Mr. Rowe gave him for it as he tried to give them a big, preparatory speech. Subsequently, Michael didn't hear much of it either.

Most of the ride was like that, actually. It was a long 3 hours, but his eyes kept drifting to the only boy who sat alone with his eyes closed. He was bold and didn't give a shit which Michael was envious of. As much as he tried, he always cared a little bit, at the very least what Isobel and Max thought of him. But Alex didn't. And, to make matters more distracting, the sun seemed to hit his face in just the perfect way that it seemed he was torn out of a goddamn magazine. Another thing to be envious of.

"Will you stop staring at him?" Isobel scolded from beside him, "People are already going to be asking you if you're sleeping with him after you're alone with him every night, are you really trying to make the rumors worse?"

"Would it mean I get to punch someone in the face?" Michael asked. Max scoffed from where he was leaning over the seat behind them to join the conversation.

"If you do that, you're going to be in a lot of trouble."

"I'm already always in a lot of trouble, might as well have a good reason," Michael suggested, shrugging his shoulders. He smiled as his siblings shook their heads.

He let his eyes drift back to the godlike, Michelangelo-sculpture-esque man that was Alex Manes.

-

Mr. Rowe passed out each the key cards to everyone, giving a speech about being responsible. No parties, no drinking, no leaving past curfew, no this, no that.

Michael’s eyes followed the way Alex’s slender fingers grabbed the key card before slipping it into the back pocket of his tight jeans. He didn’t smile, he didn’t speak, and he simply embodied the vibes of every dull bad boy that popped up in shitty YA books. Except he wasn’t dull. That’s what made him interesting.

Alex must’ve felt him staring though because he looked over and Michael looked away so fast he almost hurt himself.

“You’re going to piss him off if you keep staring at him,” Isobel scolded, pinching his arm. He glared at her, rubbing the skin she’d attacked. “The last thing we need is you getting in a fight.”

“I’m not going to fight Alex,” he insisted, sneaking another look over at the boy he’d be spending the entire weekend with, “I promise.”

“Well, make sure you keep your phone on you so you can text me if things get weird,” Isobel said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Mom.”

“Everyone has their keys? Okay, then we should be set for the night. Go find your rooms, get settled, and we’ll head down for dinner at 6:30, alright? Then back to your rooms for the night. Make sure you’re taking showers, we’re going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow and the last thing I need is anyone smelling like they haven’t bathed and they’re baking under direct sun,” Mr. Rowe preached, inciting a few whispered laughs and accusations about who he was talking about. Michael knew it probably wasn’t directly at him, but he shifted uncomfortably anyway. “Again, have your alarms set. I’ll knock on doors in the morning, but we’re all meeting down here at 7 in the morning and if I have to go hunt you down, we’ll have problems. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir.” 

Eventually, they all started making their way towards their rooms. Isobel, Max, and Michael all opted for the stairs along with a few other students while the rest waited for the elevator. They made it to Michael’s room first and both Isobel and Max gave him wary looks.

“Jesus, you both seem to forget I have more control than you,” he said. They shared a look.

“Yeah, but only in one way. I just don’t want you to get in trouble,” Max said. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Stop parenting me.”

“Okay, fine,” Isobel said, holding up her hands in defense and subsequently becoming more parental. Michael rolled his eyes and turned to the door.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he said, pushing into the room and closing it behind him.

He didn’t mean to slam it as loud as he did and he definitely didn’t mean to startle the boy who was already in the room. Alex had seemed to jump out of his skin and looked at Michael like he’d lost it. Michael gave an apologetic smile and tried not to think about the fact that this was the first time they’d ever been alone. Hell, this would be the first real conversation they’d had. 

Actually, he couldn’t remember a time Alex Manes had ever spoke outside of throwing insults at jocks or when they were forced to debate designer babies in 10th grade. Alex had been the only one who was anti that didn’t play the God card. He’d gone on a long spiel about how it wasn’t a guarantee, about how parents paid all that money to have a child exactly how they wanted, but what happened if it didn’t work that way? Nature vs. nuture, he’d said. A baby could look the part, but if it didn’t act the part, they had parents accusing them of losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. That was the moment Michael knew he was more than a YA bad boy.

For a moment, he wondered if Alex thought he was the YA bad boy. They both fit different sides of the same profile. Alex was punk and hardened, Michael was thrown through the system and had a stint in juvie the summer before, and both of them had been in more fights than necessary. Oh, God, what if Alex thought he was bland?

“I felt each bed, I took the one that makes less noise,” Alex said simply, voice deeper than Michael remembered. Was it hot in here?

“Why? Don’t wanna wake me when you sneak out?” Michael asked, trying to act normal. He wasn’t well versed in making friends, but he knew staring at them like a deer in headlights was not the way to go about it.

“More like don’t wanna wake you when I stay up all night,” Alex responded, not offering a smile as he focused back on the bed. He had a duffel bag and he pulled out a long wire, kneeling on the bed and reaching over to plug it in the wall. His shirt slid up as he did so, revealing a small patch of tanned skin on his back that Michael found inexplicably interesting.

“Well, good news, I don’t really sleep either.”

“Seems like that’s why we got roomed together,” Alex said, dropping onto the bed after he plugged it into the wall and then plugged the other end into his phone, “Same answers on the questionnaire.”

“Seems like it,” Michael agreed. Alex paused for a moment, looking over at him with dark, curious eyes.

“And you don’t have a problem with this?”

“Are you gonna kill me in my sleep?”

“You just said you don’t sleep,” Alex said. Michael raised his eyebrow at the lack of an answer. It earned a small smile from Alex that made Michael’s heart skip a beat. “No, I’m not gonna kill you.”

“Then we’re all good.”

“And the rumors don’t bother you?” Alex prodded. Michael dropped his bag beside the other bed and laid down, grinning mindlessly as it groaned under his wait.

“The rumors about me don’t bother you?” Michael shot back. Alex eyed him for a moment. Michael fully expected him to elaborate on the rumors about himself to get his question across. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think Michael just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter how smart he was: you look homeless, people treat you like you’re helpless. But Alex didn’t fill in any blanks.

“As long as you don’t kill me in my sleep,” Alex said with a shrug, falling against the pillows and putting his attention onto his phone. Michael watched him for a few extra seconds before he shook his head, pulling out a book to pass the time.

He was definitely going to get a friend out of this. Who knew?

-

Michael was dead weight on the bed.

They’d had a full buffet for the students and Michael had eaten more than he’d eaten in a long time. As good as it was, he also felt like he was about to succumb to a food coma. So much for staying up all night.

He ended up waking up bright and early anyway, though. The birds started chirping before the sun rose and he rolled over in irritation. Alex was laying on the bed, curled up and asleep with his phone screen still on and shining towards the ceiling. Michael laid there for awhile, fading in and out of sleep until Alex’s alarm went off at 6.

Alex woke up with a pout and a sigh, stretching his limbs out and arching his back. Michael watched him mindlessly, watching his legs shake at the tense muscles before he slowly dragged himself up and Michael pretended to be asleep. The first step to making friends was decidedly not watching them while they slept.

Michael stayed in bed as Alex quietly grabbed his makeup bag and disappeared into the bathroom. Was it weird that Michael was a little sad he closed the door? Yes. Yes it was weird. What the fuck.

Around the time one of the teachers knocked on the door to tell them they should be awake, Alex reappeared all dolled up. His makeup was in full force, his hair done in a skillful way, and sporting black jeans and a black t-shirt. His cheeks seemed extra sparkly, though, and Michael nodded in approval.

“Nice face,” he said simply, grabbing a pair of jeans. Alex blew air from his nose in response.

“Okay.”

“Mhm.”

They both went down for breakfast and to gather to load the buses and head to the Grand Canyon. Alex, despite his friends, sat at the front of the bus by himself again. Liz and Maria sat towards the back and behind Kyle, leaving him alone. Michael felt bad.

“While you aren’t required to be on a strict buddy system with your roommate, I definitely suggest staying close by them because you will be needing to do check-ins together. We’re not trying to have anyone run off, alright? Understand?” Mr. Rowe announced.

“Yes, sir,” they all agreed and it seemed good enough for him, signalling for the bus driver to go ahead.

“So, did you cause a power outage in front of your roommate?” Michael asked Max.

“How would he have done that?” Isobel asked. Michael offered and filthy grin and moved his hand in an obscene gesture, his tongue poking in his cheek. She looked slightly horrified at the mental image and slapped his arm, instantly making him laugh. Max just sunk into the seat behind them with an embarrassed groan.

“Guess not,” Michael snorted. 

“Well, what about you and Alex Manes? How’d that go? No fights? No gay awakening?” Isobel prodded. Michael rolled his eyes, his mood tampering at just how dull the night had been.

“Sorry to disappoint. I took a shower as soon as we got back from dinner and he took one after and I was asleep by the time he got out, so nothing special,” Michael said with a shrug. He was admittedly disappointed. What was the point of putting two troublemakers in the same room if they didn’t raise a little hell? Instead, he ate too much and fell asleep like an old man.

“Okay, well, do something because it’s only been one night and I’m already over Carly’s long discussion over Kyle Vlaneti’s cheekbones. Like, I get it, he’s hot, but there are much more important things to talk about,” she scoffed. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ll do my best to do something more interesting.”

He wasn’t quite sure what that interesting thing would be, but he could definitely try.

-

That interesting thing happened when he and Alex were walking back after their routine check-in.

“This is so fucking lame,” Michael said, gesturing the canyon that failed to impress him no matter how many signs he read, “It’s a big hole in the ground.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s kind of nice,” Alex responded. Michael raised an eyebrow at him and they both came to a stop.

“Nice?” Michael repeated, “What’s nice about it?”

“Look, come see,” Alex ushered, grabbing his arm freely and pulling him to an area that was pretty empty. They were far away from the rest of the group by the time Alex let go of him and he honestly got a little worried as Alex stepped so close to the edge that his toes were hanging off. 

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t you feel small?” he asked. Michael watched as he closed his eyes and tilted his head back. The sun seemed to find him and he was glowing. “Like nothing matters. Years of horrible things that built this country never stopped the natural flow of things enough to take this. No matter who we are, what we do, there’s always something… else.”

Michael licked his lips. Like what, he thought, aliens?

Alex breathed in deep.

“I could do anything. I could jump or I could kill someone or I could commit every atrocity, and the world would keep turning,” Alex whispered, “And some people do that. Because it doesn’t matter so they don’t care. But if we’re all horrible, every last one, who will notice the small things? Like… this. Us. I am nothing, but doesn’t that make us everything?”

“You lost me.”

Alex laughed softly and opened his eyes, turning towards Michael. Then he gestured for him to come closer. And, like all idiots with superiority complexes, Michael obeyed and let his toes hang off the edge without a thought.

“The only kind thing left is Mother Nature.”

“Mother Nature kills,” Michael pointed out. Alex rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be cynical, think about it. There’s nothing selfish in nature, not really. You take what you need.”

“Some species would disagree.”

“Just humans,” Alex sighed, “Fuck humans.”

Michael huffed a laugh and couldn’t help but admire him and agree. For a guy who wore all black and had punched a few jocks hard enough to raise talk of expulsion, he was apparently a lot more positive and logical than everyone else. 

“Fuck humans,” Michael agreed, turning his face towards the canyon. He thought it looked a little better now. “Fuck humans!”

“Yes,” Alex laughed cupping his hands around his mouth to amiplify his voice, “Fuck humans!”

“Fuck humans!” 

“Alright, boys,” Mr. Rowe sighed from somewhere behind them. Alex jumped at the sudden new voice and, on instinct, Michael grabbed his shirt and pulled him away from the edge just as he lost his footing. 

They ended up a few steps away from the edge, Michael still holding onto him while he caught his breath from the short moment of fear. But through it all, Alex was smiling at him. Not just the normal, irritated smile, but a big one that rivaled the sun that shined just for him. And that smile was targeted at Michael specifically. Wasn’t that breathtaking? 

“Alex, are you alright?” Mr. Rowe said, voice actually concerned as he jogged closer, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Um, yeah,” Alex said, slowly taking a step out of Michael’s hold and that cold demeanor started to slip back up as he remembered they weren’t alone, “I’m good. Just made me jump.”

Mr. Rowe looked between them and nodded. “Right. Just be careful, we don’t need you falling off the side no matter how angsty you feel.”

Michael laughed, “Sure thing, we’ll be careful.”

“Yeah,” Mr. Rowe said, looking between them a couple more times, “And you two are good with sharing a room together?”

“Doesn’t bother me,” Michael said, looking over to Alex. His smile was fully gone now, the hardened face back in place, and he shrugged.

“Haven’t killed him yet.”

“Comforting, Mr. Manes, thank you,” Mr. Rowe sighed. He gave Michael a pat on the shoulder before turning and walking back to the group. 

“Yet?” Michael asked once their teacher was out of ear shot. A secretive little smile slipped back onto his face.

“Never say never.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting with my class trip buddy.”

Michael grinned shameless as he got settled in the bus seat beside Alex in the far front. They were heading back to the hotel and Michael, still high on the moment he’d had with Alex on the cliff’s edge, wanted to be close to him again.

“Okay,” Alex agreed, eyeing him skeptically. Michael just gave that smile that he knew was charming. It was his specialty. Alex rolled his eyes and sat back into his seat, but the tiny smile tugging at his lips didn’t go unnoticed.

“So, whatcha listening to?” Michael prodded, leaning into his personal space to see what was on his phone. Alex elbowed him away gently, but he picked up the spare earbud to hand to Michael. He accepted it. “What is this?”

“Ska punk.”

“Huh?”

“Ska,” Alex said, grinning at Michael’s lack of understanding, “Like, No Doubt? Sublime?”

“You’re just trying to confuse me today, aren’t you?” he said. Alex rolled his eyes but turned up the music.

“It’s a mix between classic alt and ska which is basically, like, reggae influence,” Alex explained, “In my superior opinion, it’s the best genre.”

“Why?” Michael wondered. Alex raised an eyebrow and turned up the music a little more as if that would explain it. 

“Because it’s a perfect mix between chill and ‘fuck the man’ music. Like, when I take over the world, I’m gonna do it with ska punk blaring all the time,” Alex explained. Michael sputtered a laugh, unable to find him uninteresting in the slightest. 

“You plan to take over the world, huh?”

“So, here’s the plan, right,” Alex said, turning in his seat. He looked around as if someone might actually overhear and leaned a bit closer. Michael followed his lead, listening with pure interest. “I’m gonna write a musical, right, and it’s gonna take the world by storm. People are gonna love me and I’ll get the unbridled support by the world of theatre when I run for president at 30.”

“Oh, we’re jumping straight to president?”

“Hell yeah, I don’t waste time,” Alex said, waving a hand and looking deadly serious the entire time, “Anyway, I’ll be technically too young, but the overwhelming support will get me my win. Then, then, I’ll spend about two years in office learning all the government secrets and then I’m gonna whistleblow all of it before I go into hiding.”

Michael nodded, on board with every word.

“Liz and Maria are gonna stay in America to lead the true revolution while I go hide from American officials in Russia for a few years,” he explained.

“How are you gonna hide in Russia?”

“I figure I’ll seduce someone in power,” Alex said like it was easy. And, honestly, Michael believed him. “Anyway, then I’ll go to the Vatican‒wash, rinse, repeat, whistleblow that bitch. Then the Pope will probably try to have me assassinated on live TV, but it’s fine because I’ll survive.”

“Oh yeah?” Michael laughed. Alex eyed him, judging him until he feigned seriousness to match Alex’s. Still, he found it ungodly amusing that the guy who had just been saying how small and meaningless everyone was also had a plan to overthrow the government.

“Yeah, I’ll come back to America and I’ll be the face of the revolution. Enter ska punk to the masses. The chill vibes will give them no choice by to agree with my political ideology and feats,” Alex said, shrugging a shoulder and raising an eyebrow, “Easy.”

“Easy,” Michael agreed, not even caring that they were incredibly close at this point.

“Save the good people, destroy the bad. Eat the rich,” Alex said simply. Michael agreed without hesitation.

Sadly, before he could enjoy anymore of Alex’s existence, the bus came to a stop and Alex took his music back.

“See, I got you on board with just a little bit of No Doubt,” Alex said, sliding past Michael without a second thought and being the first one off the bus.

Michael knew for a fact that Alex was better than everyone.

-

The day was long and Michael could still feel a layer of sweat on his skin as he sat on the floor beside the hotel bed. Alex was taking a shower and he was recounting the day’s events. Screaming into a canyon with Alex, walking through a national park with Alex a few feet in front of him, deciding to sit beside Alex on the bus ride back and sharing his music, and rolling his eyes at all the questions Isobel was sending him to ask why he sat with Alex. 

Michael: I’m making friends fuck off

Isobel: well are you abandoning me at dinner too???

Michael: no i’ll sit with you and max 

Michael: maybe alex liz and maria can sit with us too

Isobel: two trios don’t make a happy family, Michael

Michael: fuuuuuck off

Isobel: 😘

Michael dropped his phone and tilted his head back, grinning to himself as he thought about how good it felt to scream with Alex. Maybe, if anyone was on par with his species, it was him. That would make sense, right? Alex seemed to get it. 

The bathroom door opened and Alex Manes walked out in a cloud of steam and Michael’s brain stopped working. Things slowed down and Alex walked out in slow motion, shirtless with a pair of sweats low on his hips. He was pulling on a shirt as he did so and the glory of his bare chest was gone too soon, but it didn’t stop Michael from staring slack-jawed and stupid.

“What?” Alex asked, snapping him out of his haze. He was eyeing him like he was being really fucking weird. Which, he was being really fucking weird. But he couldn’t help it. Alex was... was...

“Sorry,” Michael said, scrambling out of bed so he could take his own shower. Alex nodded slowly, heading over to his side of the room. Michael couldn’t help but watch him as he put his dirty clothes in the duffel bag and then stretched. His skin was red-tinted from the hot water and Michael wanted to touch and see if he could feel the heat.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It wasn’t until he was in his own shower, this one much colder than the one Alex apparently took, and seeking the scent of the other boy’s body wash that it dawned on him what might be wrong. He froze for a solid five minutes, staring blankly at the wall as he thought about things and Alex and the fact that he was seconds away from doing exactly what he’d mocked Max for. 

Michael took a steadying breath and licked his lips. Out of morbid curiosity, he closed his eyes and took himself in his hand, picturing Alex Manes and the millisecond long glimpse of his bare chest and the way the sun hit his face and the way he smiled and the way he screamed and the way he lit up when he described his plans for world domination and the way his long fingers looked curled around his phone. He ended up biting down on his lip so hard that he drew blood, out of breath and more confused than ever.

Maybe that was a fluke or Alex was a weird exception. He was undeniably pretty and relatively feminine and clearly more interesting than the rest of the human race, so maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe it was his own unconfirmed but also not denied sexuality that had Michael’s curiosity sparked. It was normal for teenagers to get a little confused, right? He’d always assumed his species was above that, but maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he was just confused. He knew he liked women, that was undeniable and he knew he wasn’t faking it.

But the more he thought that he was just a little confused by Alex in particular, the more he realized that maybe it wasn’t normal to let his eyes linger in the locker room. Maybe it wasn’t normal to work so hard at keeping his eyes straight in juvie. Maybe it wasn’t normal to not be grossed out when he found himself focusing on the guy in porn.

Or maybe it was normal. Maybe it was okay.

He left the shower feeling ungodly drained and overwhelmed by his own thoughts. He’d expected a lot of things from this trip, but jacking off to his class trip roommate wasn’t exactly on the syllabus. The biggest discovery this weekend was supposed to be the visual of the Grand Canyon. 

He swallowed hard as he tried to remember how to act normal, but Alex looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t help but feel the urge to test his budding theory on his own sexuality. Would Alex welcome it if he tried? Would that fight everyone seemed to expect happen?

“Dude, what did you do to your face?” Alex scoffed, sitting up and taking a step too close. Every hair on Michael’s body stood up at his close proximity, stupid teenage hormones not knowing when enough was enough. “That’s gonna scab.”

“Sorry,” Michael said. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and then huffed a laugh.

“Why are you apologizing to me? It’s your mouth,” Alex said. But his eyes lingered on Michael’s cracked and swelling bottom lip and that seemed to confirm all of Michael’s brand new theories all on it’s own.

They stared for a moment, too close and too aware. Michael could see confusion sift through Alex’s eyes like he was trying to gauge if he was reading things correctly. Perhaps his own face betrayed that he absolutely was. 

“We should probably go down for dinner,” Alex said softly, mechanically. Michael nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, let’s do that,” he said. 

Twenty-four hours in and he was already questioning his entire self.

-

“Anything interesting yet?”

Michael snorted, eyes flicking over to Alex and the way he elongated his body in his chair. He was smiling fondly at Liz and Maria as they laughed about something over dinner. It was easy to see that he loved them and Michael’s stomach twisted with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint. He supposed it had to do with the only people who ever gave him any semblance of love were Isobel and Max. Maybe he was jealous Alex could give it so freely to his friends who weren’t his intergalactic buddies.

“Yeah, actually,” Max said, clearing his throat. Isobel and Michael both raised intrigued eyebrows, giving him their attention as they leaned forward. “I think I’m gonna ask out Liz.”

Isobel and Michael both groaned and fell back into their chairs. Max just laughed.

“I’m serious this time! I’m gonna do it!” Max insisted.

“C’mon, man, what’s the point? We’ve got a couple months left of the school year and then the summer and then she’s going off to get a fancy degree or seven,” Michael said. Isobel shoved his shoulder, but he didn’t waver. Max shook his head.

“Nah, you don’t get it. We,” he paused, sighing happily, “We had a moment.”

“A moment?” Isobel asked.

“Yeah, like… one of those moments that are totally worth risking it all for, you know what I mean?” Max clarified.

Unwillingly, Michael’s eyes drifted over to where Alex was already looking his way. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red as Alex didn’t look away like most people did when they got caught staring. Instead, Alex raised his hand to his face and ran his thumb over his bottom lip. Michael involuntarily copied and discovered he was bleeding again. Alex gave a cool smile and mouthed ‘fuck humans’ before turning back to Liz and Maria.

Chills covered his skin as he looked back to his own dinner companions.

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I know those moments.”

-

Night two alone with Alex Manes proved much more difficult than night one.

Tonight, Michael was aware of a deep seeded desire to touch him and listen to him speak. Tonight, he struggled to keep his eyes to himself as Alex traded his jeans for sweats in the middle of the room instead of going into the bathroom like the night before. Tonight, had to sit on his hands to keep from requesting permission to do something he shouldn’t‒like seeing if he was as good at getting another guy off as he was at getting himself off. It felt like the question for the ages. And to think he’d bothered questioning his alien origins when he could’ve been questioning what Alex’s mouth could do. How foolish of him to ignore that.

More importantly, how had he ever ignored Alex? He was smart and funny and gorgeous. How had he missed the attraction before? Maybe it had to do with Alex being smart and gorgeous. He was going to get out of here and do good shit. Michael still, even with that scholarship waiting for him, taunted him and reminded him he wasn’t going to do much. 

“Are you okay? Did you get sun poisoned? You’ve been zoning out since we were on the bus,” Alex asked, “Got worse after your shower.”

Michael looked up at him from where he was seated on his bed and Alex was standing between the two. He was so fucking hot. Without thinking, Michael patted the bed beside him. Alex furrowed his eyebrows and didn’t move for a few seconds but slowly, slowly came to sit beside him.

“Jokes aside,” Michael started, mind still thinking of Max’s lack of hesitation when it came to Liz’s plans, “What do you actually want to do in the future?”

“Um,” Alex said, shifting slightly, “Getting the fuck out of Roswell is my only real goal. I hate it there.”

“Same,” Michael agreed.

“Yeah…” Alex said, “Guess that makes sense. We’re the two people with the most amount of fights in Roswell High history.”

Michael snorted, “You’re lucky. Your dad definitely used that fancy little title he’s got to keep you from being sent to juvie after you shattered Mason Glenn’s face.”

“Lucky,” Alex repeated, shaking his head, “I’m not lucky. Not with my dad.”

“Well, if it helps, I’m not lucky either,” Michael sighed, thinking about his shitty track record, “That fight I got into last year, almost deafened the guy in his left ear. Got me a couple months in juvie. Which, you know, maybe I am lucky. Most kids like me don’t get out that easy.”

“So the rumors are true then?” Alex asked. Michael huffed a laugh.

“Why are you so set on the rumors?” he wondered, turning to face him, “‘Cause it depends on which ones you’re talking about. I’m not sleeping with Iz if that’s the one you’re asking about.”

Despite his attempt at lightening the mood, Alex didn’t let him. His intense gaze wandered over Michael’s features and Michael clutched the sheets in his hand.

“The one where you live in your truck,” Alex stated bluntly.

“Okay, then is the one about you true?” Michael shot back, tilting his head, “Are you gay? Is that why you think about taking over the world? Is that why you like feeling small?”

Alex didn’t react in any type of physical way, but Michael wouldn’t have been surprised if Alex had started a fight then. Most of Alex’s fights started with someone calling him gay. Granted, it was usually yelling slurs at him to do so and not asking, but still.

“Is that why you wanna get out of Roswell?” Alex asked, ignoring his accusation, “Because here everyone turns a blind eye to a homeless teenager? Because it’s easier to say you live in a truck than to say you’re homeless?”

“Is that why you want to get out of Roswell? Because here everyone turns a blind eye to bullying? Because it’s easier to say you’re just other than to admit they’re in the wrong?”

Alex stared at him and Michael stared right back, both of them unwavering and serious. It was totally different from on the bus or on the cliff or standing close after a shower. This felt real. This felt… more. If those were moments, what was this? Because whatever it was, it was suffocating.

Then Alex was leaning forward.

Despite Michael’s prior thoughts and interest and despite how badly he wanted to, he jumped off the bed before Alex could do anything. It didn’t make that intense gaze feel any less all encompassing.

“I-I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” Michael said, heading to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He was going to be kissed and he fled. That was definitely a first.

Then again, he’d never been faced with a boy trying to kiss him. Not just a boy, but a hot boy who seemed just as aware of the fucked up reality as he was. Which, again, made no goddamn sense. How the hell was Alex so aware and still able to smile and make jokes? For Michael, he knew there was more. He knew he was better. But Alex… Alex didn’t know that. He just thought humans were as good as it got. And he was still calling Michael out, still trying to force him to say something. He wasn’t turning a blind eye.

Michael gulped and stared at his reflection. He really would’ve liked to go back to the fun revelations.

By the time he exited the bathroom, the light was out and Alex was curled up in bed with his back towards Michael.

-

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Michael asked. Isobel was eyeing him with that knowing gaze as he sat beside her at breakfast. Alex had already been in the bathroom when Michael woke up and, when he came out, he made no mention of the night before. He’d given his good morning and then left the room. He didn’t seem angry. So why did Michael feel so guilty?

“I know that face,” she said, “What happened?”

“Nothing happened,” Michael sighed, “I just think I pissed Alex off.”

“Why? What’d you do?” she wondered. Michael sighed, looking to where Alex was notably not looking at him. He couldn’t tell her Alex went in to kiss him and he chickened out.

“Nothing, we just… talked, I guess, I don’t know,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders. Isobel looked at him oddly.

“You’re 17, Michael, why are you acting like an old man?” she asked. He scoffed, ready to argue, but even he couldn’t deny that it was particularly weird that they had a conversation like that. But, then again, it just brought him back to the conclusion that there was something about him. He wasn’t like the rest of the human race and he wasn’t like the limited knowledge he had of his own species. He was… other. In a good way.

His eyes drifted back to Alex for a moment. Could he be a teenager with him? Was he worthy of sloppy kisses and self-discovery with him? Could they be kids and not have every conversation be laced with the underlying truths of their reality?  

“You ever wanna take over the world and bring all the alien-destroys-New-York movies to life?” Michael asked her instead. Isobel sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway,” Isobel said, leaning closer, “Apparently, Kyle Valenti stole a few bottles of alcohol from the kitchen. We’re gonna have a party tonight in his room after curfew since it’s the last night away from home. You should come, everyone else is.”

“Wasn’t one of the rules no parties?” Michael asked, “And no drinking?”

“Again, old man, when did you become against breaking rules?”

Michael licked his lips and looked over at Alex again. True. Since when did he have shit holding him back from doing what he wanted?

“Okay,” he said, “I’ll break rules.”

-

Just like the day before, it was hard to find anything interesting in where they were.

In theory, he could appreciate a national park and a museum, but Michael didn’t really give a shit. He would’ve been much more interested if they went to the Houston Space Station like was originally debated. But that was too expensive and going to national parks just wasn’t. 

Unlike the day before, though, everyone was buzzing when they got on the bus to go back to the hotel. Everyone was texting and whispering about this party they were planning. Michael was considering going if things went badly with Alex, but that’s it. Only if things went bad with Alex.

This was the last night they were here, this was his last real shot at getting him alone. He wanted to try. 

Besides, if Max made a move on Liz before he made a move on Alex, well, then they were all fucked.

He watched him throughout dinner, trying to think of what exactly he wanted to say. Maybe he could just tell him he thought he was hot, keep it simple. Or he could explain that, thinking about it, he’d actually liked him for a lot longer than he realized because it suddenly made a lot of sense why he’d been watching him for two years. Maybe Alex would take his confusion about his sexuality as a good enough answer and they could make out to help solidify that this wasn’t a weird boy crush. Not that he thought it was. He was confused about what this meant, but there was no confusion about the way Alex made him feel like his skin was being lit on fucking fire and like his mind was melting.

When they got back to the room, Michael quickly went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and make sure he didn’t smell. Everyone was getting ready for Valenti’s party. Time to prepare for his own.

“Hey, Alex, can we talk?” Michael asked as he stepped out of the bathroom. Alex looked up from where his phone and eyed him, nodding slightly.

Michael stepped closer, trying to find at least one of the starters to the plethora of conversations he’d had in his mind. He should say he liked him. He should say he didn’t mean to pull away. He should say that he accidentally had a second sexual awakening to seeing him shirtless. He should say so, so many things.

And instead he said none. Instead, he lunged forward and kissed him.

It was a short, chaste kiss, but it was enough for pieces to fall into place. That was definitely how that was supposed to feel. It probably had to do with Alex being superior. Where was a pedestal when you needed one?

“Um,” Alex said, taking a shaky breath as the kiss ended. Michael blinked a few times and pulled away a little more. Had he misread something? Alex licked his lips, looking at him like he didn’t get it. “Are-are… Is this a set up?”

“Huh?” Michael asked, furrowing his eyebrows. How the hell did he come to that conclusion?

“Is this one of those things where you kiss me and then ask me out and then I agree and then you stand me up and make fun of me with your friends?” he asked, hesitant rather than angry. Michael’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“What? No, oh my god, who did that?” Michael asked, voice soft. Alex shook his head dismissively, still eying him like he didn’t get it.

“You just kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Michael agreed, “I really wanna keep doing it too if you do.”

“There’s a party.”

“I’d rather we have our own.”

“You barely know me.”

“I know enough.”

“So you know I’m into guys and you’re questioning?”

“No,” Michael said, shrugging his shoulders, “I know you’re smart and beautiful and funny.”

Alex looked him up and down and that hesitance in his eyes slowly but surely bled into something else. His eyes darkened just a little and Michael’s stomach twisted. Alex slowly stepped back into his space, idle fingertips touching his elbows and slowly sliding up his arms and over his shoulders and over his neck and into his hair. He hadn’t even gotten another kiss and Michael felt like his brain had melted.

Alex cradled his head as he pulled him in for another kiss, this one packing much more of a purpose. He parted his lips and welcomed Alex’s tongue against his own. His hands reached for Alex’s hips, pulling him closer as he tilted his head to kiss him a little deeper. His tongue deliberately slid over his sore bottom lip, letting him know he was being careful not to kiss him too hard. Which would’ve been fine, but he didn’t actually care.

Michael pressed in harder and Alex smiled, tugging on his hair gently. Add that to the list of things to make his mind run wild.

They kissed for a while just standing there, both of them too hesitant to move in case they pushed a button that wasn’t willing to be pressed. But the kisses got more sloppy and the touches got more desperate, both of them swaying as they tried so hard to push in closer. Michael couldn’t remember a time he’d been so desperate to touch someone. Suddenly, there was no confusion at all about anything. It was just this, just them.

As Alex’s hands slid beneath his shirt, it reminded Michael of his little Grand Canyon speech. You take what you need, he’d said. Did this count? It felt like it counted. The more he kissed him, the more he realized he’d wanted to do this for a long time. He just… hadn’t let himself think that.

Michael pulled away to remove his shirt, diving back in for another kiss. Alex breathed a hot breath against his mouth as his hands raked over his bare chest, taking in every inch. No one had ever touched him like that. He wanted more.

“Wait,” Michael breathed. Alex snatched his hands away quickly, still breathing heavy as he pulled away to see what was wrong. Michael gave a reassuring smile. “Do you, uh, like, do you… know how to… like…”

Alex smiled at him in a way that could’ve been condescending, but distinctly wasn’t because it was him. He placed his hands on Michael’s chest again.

“Yeah,” he said, “Do you?”

Michael licked his lips and looked down between them. Alex was still fully clothed, but he really, really didn’t want him to be.

“Not, uh, not with a guy,” he admitted, swallowing as he met Alex’s eyes again. There was no judgement. “Kinda lost on how exactly that works.”

“Well, I can explain it to you,” Alex said, “If you want.”

Michael involuntarily moved forward, kissing him hotly. “I want.”

“Okay,” Alex breathed, smiling as he moved his hands up to fiddle with his hair. Michael felt like putty in his hands and he enjoyed every second of it. “But we don’t even have to go, like, that far. I don’t really have any… Like, I didn’t bring lube or anything, didn’t really anticipate this, so maybe we should just stick to the basics.”

“Basics?” Michael repeated. Alex nodded and gave him another kiss.

“If you want to,” Alex told him, “With me.”

“God, Alex,” Michael laughed, shaking his head, “I literally have never wanted anything more than you in my entire life. I feel like my heart is going to explode in my chest. I have never liked someone as much as I like you and it’s really made this weekend impossible to enjoy anything that wasn’t you.”

Alex stared at him for a moment before he softly nodded and pulled him back into a kiss, but this one was a little different. This one was slow and held every goddamn secret in the universe. Yes, they were small, but yes, they were everything.

“C’mon,” Alex said, grabbing his hands and tugging him towards the bed.

Michael followed him with a lifetime of anticipation.

-

A knock sounded on the door to signify that they should be awake.

Michael groaned and went to reach for his phone, but paused when he realized he had the weight of another body on his back. Every moment of the night before all rushed into his mind and he smiled to himself, both excited that he’d been bold enough and disappointed that they probably wouldn’t get the chance to do anything like that again any time soon.

But, then again, he had a truck waiting for him.

“Alex,” Michael said, carefully turning so as not to crush him or throw him off, “We gotta get up. Bus loads in like an hour.”

Alex sighed and lifted his head, looking up at him. Even in his sleep-hazed state, he grinned.

“You’ve got sex hair,” he said. Michael snorted and ran in hands through Alex’s hair.

“Haha, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, me too,” Alex teased, pushing himself up to kiss him again. That one led to another and another and they only broke when more persistent knocking came.

“Michael!” Isobel said, “Open up! I need you or I’m gonna die!”

Michael sighed at her dramatics and looked to Alex with a pout.

“Get dressed, we’ll pretend nothing happened,” Alex said and Michael nodded easily. They both got up and Michael had to brace himself against the wall, feeling a little off-kilter. Alex gave him a filthy grin. “Sore?” he asked innocently, waving two fingers at him. Michael huffed and held up his middle finger.

Eventually, they pulled themselves together and answered Isobel who didn’t seem to notice anything as she headed straight for Michael’s bed.

“She’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met,” Isobel groaned, “I can’t wait to get home.”

Michael spared a glance at Alex who went into the bathroom to pack all of his shit.

“I don’t know, I think I could entertain this trip for another night or two.”

“Yeah, well your roommate isn’t annoying,” Isobel scoffed. Michael grinned to himself.

“Yeah, you got that right.”

The ride back to Roswell was more than agonizing. Alex sat at the front and Michael sat with Isobel, the only contact they had being over text. It wasn’t enough. They still hadn’t really talked about what happens next. God, he wanted to know. He wanted everything.

He could imagine it easily: the two biggest troublemakers at Roswell High hooking up. They’d be an unstoppable team. The idea made him grin.

When they got back to the school after the multiple hours of trip they endured, Michael went to his truck and waited. Everyone else had their parents pick them up or drove their own cars back home. Things would just go back to normal. It was just a normal class trip. 

Except Alex Manes didn’t have anyone pick him up and he didn’t have a ride. Instead, he just walked up to Michael's truck once most everyone was gone and took a deep breath.

“We should talk,” he said. Michael licked his lips and nodded towards his truck.

“Wanna go for a ride?” he asked. Alex grinned easily.

“Hell yeah I do.”

They definitely did a little more than talking.

Who knew the Grand Canyon could be so great?