#on one hand the og playwright based it heavily on his own experiences with mental illness and eating disorders
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honestly i thought i was doing better with myself but last night i merely read the tv tropes page for the movie the whale and i broke down sobbing
#i have...complicated feelings about that movie#on one hand the og playwright based it heavily on his own experiences with mental illness and eating disorders#so i don't condemn it for going into heavy subject matter#but something about it just hit me deeply#it was really triggering and i can't fully describe why#and i just couldn't handle it#mickey.txt#eating disorders#fatphobia#i like brendan fraser and he was good at acting just seeing him in the fat suit made my stomach drop#again i can't place why#is it because hollywood would rather ''uglify pretty people'' than hire ''ugly people''?#when its usually the only kinda of work they'd be hired for?#is it because hollywood only portrays fat people as a joke or for drama surrounding them being fat?#is it the knowledge how many audience members treated it as a joke just because the main character was fat?#is it 'internalized fatphobia' and i just couldn't handle the movie?#is it all of the above?#is it some nebulous reason i still can't place?#i don't know!!!!!#i just couldn't stop crying
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