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cogneartive · 5 years ago

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The Beach Boys go to the Museum

A crackfic. Read if you want to immediately lose all your brain cells.

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Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was daydreaming about girls going to the museum which was very educational. More educational than daydreaming about girls which is good for you which is why he was daydreaming about going to the museum instead of girls.

“Yoo hoo brothers!” he said.

“What is it, big brother?” shouted Dennis and Carl Wilson from another part of the Beach Boys ResidenceTM

“I have decided to go to the museum which is a very educational activity for us to do which will be beneficial for us,” said Brian. “I will call our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine.”

“Oh ok, big brother,” the two younger Wilsons said. “As soon as we get out of the shower and clothe ourselves (which will probably align with the arrival of our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine), we shall take off in the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum as you wish.”

T I M E S K I P

“Incredible,” said Carl Wilson. “We have finished showering and being clothed just as our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine, have arrived.”

“Now we can go to the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum Brian Wilson, my big brother, wishes.” “I hate this story,” said Michael Edward Love, a man with no taste.

“Do not attempt to break the fourth wall,” said Brian Douglas Wilson, extremely annoyed at Mike Love’s lack of taste.

“Harrumph >:( !” harrumped Michael Edward Love.

Suddenly, Bruce Arthur Johnston appeared out of Norway. “May I come too?”

“Permission accepted,” said Al Jardine

T I M E S K I P

The beach boys arrived at the Museum of Interesting Plot which interested them very much. They headed into the museum, where they bumped into GASP! The Beatles - an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 with a line-up comprising John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, who are regarded as the most influential band of all time.

“THE BEACH BOYS!” the bug boys ejected.

“THE BEATLES!” the sand children exclaimed.

“What a coincidence that we have bumped into you guys in the exact same museum,” said John Lennon. “I bet you were trying to sneak behind us and steal our songwriting ideas >:O”

“Absolutely not >:O” said Brian Wilson, putting his hands on his hip in a gesture of frustration. “I bet YOU were trying to sneak behind us and steal OUR songwriting ideas”

“We were not >:O” said Sir James Paul McCartney.

They started fighting and in the moment of anger, they broke!! The statue of David (not Crosby unfortunately for the statue of David Crosby has cursed the museum for over a century now)!!!!!!!

“HEY” said The Manager of The Museum (which was an unfortunate name given to him by his parents sad emoji)

“Oh no” said Brian Wilson.

“Oh no” said Carl Wilson.

“Oh no” said Dennis Wilson.

“Oh no” said Mike Love.

“Oh no” said Al Jardine.

“Oh no” said Bruce Johnston.

“Oh no” said George Harrison.

“Oh no” said Paul McCartney.

“Oh no” said Ringo Starr

“Yoko Ono?” said John Lennon. “My wife in the future, depending on the era.”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” THERE WAS A CAR CRASHING INTO THE MUSEUM WHICH BROKE THE STATUE OF DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS THE POOR MONKEES!!! IN THE MONKEE MOBILE!!!

“Ouchies!” said Micky Dolenz.

“OMG” said The Manager of The Museum (who happened to also be a clone of Ringo Starr) He was angry. Very angry. So angry, that he was angry. “You guys better pay for this.”

“But we can’t,” said the Beatles (for Brian Epstein did not give them their allowance that day)

“We can’t either,” said the Beach Boys (for they had already spent enough on getting a nintendo switch to play animal crossing: new horizons.

This is left the poor, poor Monkees. “Bruh we poor af.”

“Then you have to work to pay for it smh,” said The Manager of The Museum.

“OH NO!” said all of them at once.

“You must go around the museum to find three fragments of the broken statue that you have broken, which somehow have been transported into the museum which you must complete challenges to get!”

“Like Dora the Explorer?” asked George Harrison, the youngest member of the Beatles.

“Yea,” saidThe Manager of The Museum. “Ok bye im gonna play animal crossing: new horizons now :))))))”

“Ok. We must split up into three groups.”

BEACH BOYS SECTION - THE HALL OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WATER

“Wow, how convenient is that we have coincidentally walked into the hall of things that have to do with water,” said Denny Wilson. “It is as this was planned.”

And then…………………….”oh my god a wave,” said M*ke Love.

“QUICKLY INTO THE BEACH GEAR” shouted Brian Wilson as they proceeded to use the sims animation to change into their beach gear. “NOW WE MUST.,,,,,,,,,,,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,”

“We thro Dennise into da water bc he is da only 1 who can surf XD” said Mke Luv as he tossed Deniise into da water liKE A BOSS AND HI-FIVES ALL ROUND WAPOOSH WAPOOSH TAHK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING AND I’LL SEE U IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *outro plays*

“Ahem,” said Ctrl. “We did not bring a surfboard,,,,,,,,so how is he supposed to surf??? Thonk emoji. Lmfao roasted XD”

“We use (drumroll pls) AL SARDINE as Da Surfboard Lmao!!!” said Miiiiiike lov e as they all jumped on Al Jardine.

“I did not feel a thing, lol” said ALAN JARDINE because he was a super strong boy (stock image of a blond guy flexing his muscles).

Surfing montage.

“Bruh we reusing animation bro,” said Denal Wilson.

“Oh look an island,” said Brain. Dey all hopped off and landed on the island. On the island was Kurt Cobain.

“Wow Mr Kurt Cobain,” said Broose Honda. “I did not know you lived on dis island.”

“I don’t rofl,” said Coq Au Vin as he handed them a statue fragment.

“Oh wow thx Coco Van,” as they flew away.

MONKEE SECTION - THE HALL OF….I DONT KNOW

“Lmao is that Stephen Arthur Stills, an American singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist best known for his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,” joked Micky Dolenz, pointing to a mirror in front of Peter Tork.

“Lol yeah,” said Stephen.

Micky screamed.

“Here you go broski,” said Stephen Stills, handing them a fragment.

“But what did we do?” asked Mike Nesmith.

“Allowing the author to make the awful, often repeated annoying joke about me and Peter Halsten Thorkelson looking like identical twins.”

“Ok thanks brewski,” said the Monkees as they headed off. “Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.”

“But I’m Stephen.”

“Wait,” said Davy. “But Peter was standing there just now.”

“No, I was standing there.”

The Monkees looked at each other and had a collective sigh. It was not gonna be as easy as they thought.

And to make this complication more complicated, the author decided to make David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young walk into the scene.

“Bro Stephen wtf,” said Neil. “I knew you were small but I didn’t think you could crawl into the vents like that.”

“But I’m Peter??????????”

“Oh no not again,” said Graham Nash, already getting another headache.

“Wait, wait wait, just a moment,” said Davy Jones. “Go back a bit. What do you mean by crawling through the vents.”

“Please do not question the plot,” threatened David Crosby.

“YUH DAVY” said Micky. “Come on now, Peter,” - he grabbed Peter’s hand -” we gotta advance the plot.”

“But I’m Stephen.” Micky looked at him with such an expression that expressed a deep amount of hatred for the author. “It doesn’t matter. You guys are the same person anyway.”

The other lads shrugged and took poor Peter Halsten Dorkelson who was too confuzzled and befuddled and bamboozled to be crying.

BEATLES SECTION - THE HALL OF PAPERWORK

“This is so boring,, (-_-)” said Jawn Jennon. “I think George Harrison fell asleep.” “L M A O i did rofl lol,” said Heorge Garrison.

“I am surprised because there is so much paperwork lying about that all look so boring!!” said Paul McEyelash.

“Someone should clean this up smh,” said Ringone Starone.

“YAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all sed at 1nce. That yawn pushed a stack of paper off a table, which caused a chain reaction, leading to a bucket falling down, a train being activated, a cow mooing and the members of Queen being awoken from their frozen-in-som-kind-a-tube state.

“BRO WTF WHOMST WOKE US UP (((p(>o<)q)))” said Roger Taylor, stretching. “I was still having my beauty sleep.”

“(O.O) omg (O.O)(O.O) oh mah gawd (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)” said Freddie Mercury. “Are those (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) the legendary (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) bug boys????????”

“Ja” said gH.

“ヽ(★ω★)ノ” said Brian May

“(¬_¬") smh you woke up my cheese toast,” said John Deacon.

“I guess, we should thank u for waking us up,” said Freddeh.

“We wuz nevah gonna wake up,” said Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Mei.

“Take dis,” Rogah Taylah gave them a statue fragment that had landed in his hair.

“Wow thanks that was EZ lmao,” said the bug boys as they went away.

T I M E S K I P

“（●＾o＾●）” said The Manager of the Museum as he stuck the broken statue fragments of the broken statue of the Museum of Interesting Plot Idea (well I think that what it was called Lmao I didn’t check don’t correct me doe lel)

“It was’t very challenging at all doe…” said Sand Children. “And for a story with out name in the title, we did not seem to get much attention at all.”

“Shut up you’ll get your moment later,” said the others pointing down to the rest of the story. “See look at that.” “None of this is very good,” said Mike Hate, a man with no taste.

They all went into their respective vehicles and drove away.

“WAIT!!!!!!” said Dave Jone of the Monkees, pausing the time. “We did not resolve the plot point of us actually kidnapping Steven Stills?????”

“Help me,” said Stepe.

“STFU IT’S OUR STORY (◣_◢)” said the beach of the boys, so infuriated with them that smoke came out of their ears like a boiling kettle and their eyes started glowing red which indicated anger.

“Oh ok sorry lel, he’s British Lol,” said Mike Nesmith.

“STFU Myke Gessmith.”

“;~;” said Mike Nukesmith.

“Y do u guys always have to take the spotlight?!” asked the Beaky Bubs.

“Bc we’re the author’s favourites, unfortunately,” said Micky, shivering at the memories of what had happened to them before in previous crack fics.

“Sux for u lmao.”

Uh how to end dis. Boom. Story done lel.

THE END FADE TO BLACK

.Al Barmine

#the beach boys #queen #the monkees #the beatles #kurt cobain #for some reason idk bro i like him ok #csny #why did i write this #my fics #i wrote 1853 of this stupidity

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