#omg i love catholic guilt: the character

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Literally just finished Notorious Scarlett and Browne

In that hyper stage where I just have to share my thoughts so excuse the ramble. (Spoilers!)

Sneaky Bartimaeus reference? Very reminiscent of Nat and Kitty's parting. I love how It's easy to find similarities between Storud's stories and characters without it feeling too repetitious.

The revelation about Thomas didn't surprise me- I'd read the summary for the third book but before that I felt it was kinda obvious she was like the reverse of Lockwood. But her middle name being Josephine absolutely did surprise me (unless I missed it being mentioned before?) but omg does the name suit her!! Made me realise we don't know what Jo and Ettie's surname is which I'd like to know!

Lighthearted moments I liked:

But also I was so confident Albert was my favourite character (love all of Stroud's psychologically messed up male protagonists anyway so it wasn't exactly a competition) but then in came Mallory omg - a more fucked up version of Albert that has absolutely no qualms about killing people?? Sign me tf up baby I love him so much! I said Nat has Catholic guilt vibes but oh boy Mallory is the BLUEPRINT for catholic guilt 🤌🏼🤌🏼

Maybe an unpopular opinion? But he definitely deserved better! I want to see him developed more as character and see more of his personality shine through rather than just be a vague threat from Stonemoor. I found his self assurance and egotistical nature really interesting considering years of child abuse - we kind of see it with Nathaniel but it's mostly an act and bravado whereas that does seem to just be what Mallory is like.

I'm loving the found family vibe as well - it was nice to see Jo and Ettie have stayed with Scarlett and Albert and the addition of Sal Qin at the end is really sweet. And I just think Mallory would fit in perfectly with the found family trope. None of them are really great people so he fits in so well 😭 I know I'm deluding myself thinking two people with the same power and background could be given equal space in the book so Mallory's end is probably final. But it was a little more vague so maybe? 🥹 What do we think does anyone else want him back? Also I know mentions of an adaptations are out there and I can't get the image how the last chapter would look on screen: Albert and Scarlett discussing the fight, thinking about the future joking about how Mallory is under several buildings and the future looks so bright. And then post credits we just see him come crawling out the revine. Or is that too cliche? But a small dose of cliche is healthy in a western vibe book right?

Mallory goading Albert before their fight was actually really cute as well; he was 🤏🏼 this close to being a mentor to Albert like an annoying af big brother or something 😭 I can picture him flirting with Scarlett as well purely to be irritating.

And I understand Albert being upset about Mallory killing the watchman - Albert does feel bad about hurting people even in self defense and it contrasts to Mallory not caring at all, but I was surprised that it was such a strong catalyst for his rage? Mallory kind of inadvertently helped them by getting rid of someone who could sound the alarm.

I just really love Mallory's pursuit of perfection leading to his own self hatred and I feel like it could be explored more with him as a character. Nathaniel gradually became more fearful of uncleanliness and disorder as he lost control of his life but it's cool to see the concept of a character viewing themself as impure and being filled with self hatred because of that (again gimmie those catholic guilt vibes all day long.)

I also like how he hasn't got the fear of his power that Albert has; Albert fears himself Mallory hates himself instead. But he also hates 'normal' people too which is really interesting, he just seems so lonely that's why I want him to join the little ragtag group 😭

Dr Calloway's death felt very justified but Mallory's (potential?) death just felt hollow because he's exciting and doesn't feel like his story was filled out enough. But then again we don't have any information about Calloway- not even a first name. The effect it gives is of a faceless entity of an institution. Even the description of her wearing glasses gives the impression of dehumanising her- If anyone knows anything about the Stanford Prison Experiment that's the impression she leaves. And that lack of knowledge about her is fulfilling in a way. No real personality shines through because she's been dehumanised. But Mallory is different - we see little glimpses of his personality, he's less of a faceless entity.

And even when Albert is trying to convince him to join them (whether this was supposed to be a trick or genuine I wasn't sure- Albert is kind enough to have been genuine but also I don't know if he'd want to risk Joe, Ettie and Scarlett) his reaction shows the cracks in his confident swagger. He's furious when Albert suggests society hates him, even though he's stated it himself many times and says he's accepted that fact. It kinda gave me the impression he's just trying to convince himself he's okay with being an outcast an completely alone but hearing it from someone else reminds him of the trauma of having it pointed out by Drs in Stonemoor and the defence mechanisms start to kick in.

And during his fight with Albert we see him have a real connection with someone- he and Albert share strange moments bordering on bonding with each other. I think it's a connection they both need because no on else has such similar shared experiences. I don't even want a redemption arc for him- he's irredeemable in the same way Scarlett and Albert are which is why he fits in with them so much!

Anyway what do people think? Do you think Mallory will return? Do you want him to? I'm so excited for the last book to come out and so scared I'll be disappointed 🥲

Aside from Mallory; the will they won't they of Scarlett and Albert is stressing me out! I can't decide if they're even meant to be shipped or not. It doesn't help that Albert's age is left really vague - Scarlett makes him sound quite young in comparison to her but Albert says she's hardly older than him so idk. I know Stroud tends to keep these things vague on purpose but this seems more so than usual which makes me think I'm crazy when they have adorable moments together.

I kind of get the impression Albert has a sort of crush on Scarlett but she views him as a little brother. How does everyone else see them?

[tommykinard6]

I’ve finally watched the new episode!!!

I’m going to talk about it, but in case someone hasn’t filtered out spoilers, here’s a cut.

Tommy, my sweet darling, you look so soft and gentle, especially during that coffee scene. You’re so gentle with Buck and you’re also so gentle with yourself. You’re precious.

Buck, sweetheart, you are certainly an ally. Your lips and Tommy’s lips sealed an alliance, that is correct. You’re so cute, omg, you’re down bad for this boy. Invite him to your sister’s wedding on the third date? Why not!

I think the show did a great job in handling Buck coming to terms with himself. I think he hadn’t necessarily paused to think it over before his talk with Maddie and that’s why he was so anxious on the date.

Also, these are two grown ass men. I don’t think they’re moving at the wrong pace or that Buck is silly for inviting Tommy to his sister’s wedding. It’s a little odd, but as he said, Tommy already knows half the people there. They’ll figure out what works right for them.

I feel like people make more of the age difference than there actually is. We don’t have a confirmed age for Tommy, but let’s say he’s about the same age as Lou himself (39/40). Buck is about 31. An 8-9 year age difference really isn’t bad. It is a difference for sure, but it’s nothing drastic. Tommy isn’t robbing the cradle.

What I’m wondering about is the wedding and their appearance. Has Buck come out to everyone? Is he doing a surprise date? Do his parents know?? I don’t want his coming out to take over the wedding, but I’m hoping we get some scenes in the next episode, some flashback, to show his coming out or the build up to Tommy as his wedding date.

Lou said in an interview that Tommy’s entrance to the wedding will be dramatic. Did Tommy go off to recover Chim from wherever Chim went?

I’ll briefly touch on the rest of the episode content. First up, Eddie and Marisol.

What the actual hell was happening there?

I wanna know who came up with the nun storyline. It was hysterical! But I’m wondering where the writers are going with this. They moved her in and then out in the same episode. The only thing that I see accomplished was showing that Eddie was Catholic and has Catholic guilt. This could be useful later on, but it was odd.

Please, 9-1-1, get rid of Marisol. It’s not even the character that’s an issue, it’s the actress.

And finally, Hen and Karen!

I love any storyline we get with them. These are my moms now, ok? I’m sad they didn’t get a baby, but I think they’ll have quite a journey ahead with Mara, who’s clearly traumatized. And look at Denny! He’s grown up so much. I love their little family and I hope we get some more centric storylines with them. I feel like they get left behind sometimes.

Ok! Those are my thoughts! Lemme know what y’all think.

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT

[katyspersonal]

Ok, smol rant about the recent fandom drama for your inbox lol. You have done the same in mine, so now we’ll be even fjfhfd.

I remember seeing a post about kids and parents where the OP wished that they could explain to the domineering parents that they weren’t “making excuses” for their actions, but giving reasons for them. It’s a huge point of contention between parents and children. One I brutally relate to. As the children, we often want our motives to be understood, even if we did something that violated a moral boundary.

It makes the judgement feel less dehumanizing, because then the parent knows that we are just human too. We feel acknowledged as flawed people without being seen as purely bad.

This is what writers do for their morally corrupt characters too, right? The war criminals everyone fights over. I have seen some instances where the author did outright excuse the war criminal’s actions, but it’s far more common, especially in recent years, for writers to provide reasons for their villain’s actions.

Sometimes it’s a grand philosophy the villain has, sometimes it’s delusion, other times it’s simple lust for power, and other times it’s a sympathetic background. Sometimes it’s a mix of all of them. It can get messy, but recently the big debate in fandom is usually over evil characters having sympathetic motives or being victims of a cycle of abuse/violence.

*glares at Marika*

This is getting more and more heated in fandoms and now even the Soulsborne fandom, which is depressing. I mostly ignore it because I’m tired of it. Pretty much all of my favorite characters these days are tragic villains because I just love that archetype. I’m drawn to it and have been for as long as I can remember. But that means I see this argument surrounding all of these characters 24/7.

I am more sensitive to moralism, I’ll admit. I haaaate Puritan rhetoric in fandom, so I usually feel more frustration towards the “irredeemable pure evil character is so bad, WHY are you excusing abuse?” shit. But seeing this Hornsent stuff recently, I’m also getting massively uncomfortable with the literal excusing of genocide in the story. Even if it’s fictional, that just….BRUH. Both sides make me a bit queasy.

And all along, I can only think: This fighting is so pointless because both sides are latching onto a very simple perception. They think the story Miyazaki wrote is meant to EXCUSE the actions of the cruel people in the story, but in truth, it’s giving REASONS for all sides. To make things more realistic and god forbid, EMOTIONAL!

Marika’s story destroyed me, and now learning more details about the Hornsent, I feel bad for many of their people too!! The whole thing is a big tragedy, totally pointless. Something tells me that was the point because [gasp], Miyazaki tells that story over and over.

I remember seeing a random gamer comment on YouTube about Marika’s village, and all it said was, “Well. Now we know why she did it.”

THAT’S IT. THAT’S WHAT MIYAZAKI WANTS US TO FEEL. Not “Omg she was totally in the right!!”

Miyazaki’s “cycle of violence” trope is NOT apologist preaching. It’s not about excusing the war criminals. It’s about showing how people fuck each other up for generations out of received and inflicted injustice and pain.

And some come out on top in the end, unleashing twice as much violence as the other group because of how much power they attain. (Marika).

I also wish fandom would be careful about comparing too much of this story to real life as well, because that’s where the weaponization of certain events in history comes into play, and it just leads to moralists beating love-blinded simps over the head with “You’re defending she-Hitler!”

That’s just a cheap-shot because this IS all still fiction at the end of the day, and nobody should be deep-throated with Catholic guilt for getting a bit defensive of an immoral character 💀

Anyway, I’m going off, but I will say this, it reminds me of the whole Shabriri thing. Of course the Frenzied Flame curse and ending is sympathetic in one way. Destroying a world that is SO ruined by suffering is an understandable craving if you reach the bottom of despair. This is almost the exact of motive of [GUNSHOTS] [SOUNDS OF BEING STRANGLED] and so, I love it even more of course. LET IT ALL BURN.

But Shabriri being a liar does get the point across!!

The FF doesn’t fix anything in the end. That’s why I fought for the “Shabriri is not right” take and marveled at how much of the fandom was swayed by his lie, but I also understood why too! It’s a beautiful, perfect lie.

But no matter how tender, how exquisite…you know.

So….I guess now the same thing repeats. People fall for Marika’s side and see her cruelties as justice, while others go too far and paint her as a wholly dark force of evil that is being “excused” by the story. But in truth, THE FRENZIED FLAME IS BOTH SOMETHING TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND FOUGHT AGAINST.

JUST LIKE MARIKA’S WRATH.

Melina was right all along.

Ok rant over. Thanks for all the based and nuanced takes recently.

PS: Lowkey, to this day I wonder, why did that mf George Lucas somehow deliver the story of Vader’s fall in such a simple way that painting the very IDEA of giving into the “dark side” as a tragic decision all around. Giving into the FF is a tragic decision, Marika seeking revenge and going way too fucking far is a tragic decision. WHY DID LUCAS SOMEHOW UNDERSTAND THIS AND YET FANDOM IS STILL CONFUSED WHEN WE TRY TO EXPLAIN THAT CHOOSING TO PERPETUATE THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE IS PART OF THE TRAGEDY. MIYAZAKI IS PRACTICALLY SCREAMING IT AKSJDHDDJ—

Heyyyy Crow, I am so sorry for being a couple of weeks late to respond this ask ;-; I am scatterbrain about asks, you know :pensive:. ....and I also see that you did decide to waste it into my nothing-blog, instead of posting your beautiful, based thoughts in YOUR blog where more people can see them? You chicken dffdhs

Being the reclusive misanthropist (as far as fandoms go), I've been avoiding most of these problems! And my first exposure, through an EX mutual, happened to be the "woooow FromSLOP excused genocide by giving Marika a sad backstory, what were they thinking?!" side. The exposure only kept growing until I ripped the bandage, yet it did make me so angry that the first chapter in my large SOTE defence essay ( x ) was JUUUUST about it. 🙄

Marika was not "just" evil even in the base game either, giving off the impression of someone wanting to build a perfect world of light, life, safety and abundance even at the expense of oppressing "potential threat" species. She waged war on the Fire Giants who had 'evil god of fire', caused natural disasters and whose fire existed as anathema to the Erdtree and declared her victory the start of the "better age"! That already spoke of a lot of complexity, without forcing the audience to agree with her motivations and actions but instead understand what weight they held in the grand scheme of things!

What DLC did add was simply a lore on Marika's origins as a Goddess, and what made her vulnerable enough for the Two Fingers to seek her! Divinity is further stated to not be a great thing via Miquella's whole arc, but the wish to change the world to the better hits harder when you personally were a victim of its fundamental corruption! She did not instantly become a good person over DLC lore, nor she was just evil person and nothing else in the base game! War against Fire Giants (maybe Dragons?) was the means to topple the current powers and establish her reign, oppressing certain species was the mean to preserve it. She searched not solely to take revenge on the Hornsent, but to build a different world where what they did would not happen, ironically ending up causing more injustice ANYWAYS! Miquella fell into this trap. Heck, GIDEON fell into this trap!

On a more general note, detached from the specifics of this game: I do still find it more strange to be angry about villains being given sympathetic traits, as a concept. People who are just "born evil" are such a minority that they hardly can say anything about nature of men. In any case, 'explanation is not an excuse' works not only as a tool to still judge someone's sins, but ALSO to explain that writers making a character more elaborate is not a demand to like this character or excuse their actions! Everything has reason… This is why no one is entitled to declare they know what is good and bad for everyone. Not just people like Marika or Gwyn, but even us.

Granted, all the "they want us to like a she-Hitler now?!" sentiments arrived from the same people who also believe that Miquella's character was "assassinated" and use that absurd 'they'll never make me hate you miquella sweety' tag or whatwasit that has no reason to exist!! Character assassination. You know, that writing trick writers do to make you despise a character who has been established to be likeable before. I just can't forgive this "logic", of assuming that giving explanation for character's tyranny = wanting audience to see them as morally right, and assuming that making a character fall from grace = wanting audience to hate the character.

No, no, NO! Completely WRONG! What writers, GOOD writers, want audience with BOTH of these things is EXACTLY what you said: to understand the reasons of what happens and why! Miyazaki is a good writer, that wants audience to find their own answers, and always wanted! It is not being a love-blinded fan but a common knowledge in the fandom that Miyazaki admitted so himself. Zullie (Youtuber) highlighted this, writer of Paleblood Hunt highlighted this... Miyazaki's talent and genius did not magically evaporate just over the awful sin of not dropping any hints for Miquella x Radahn in the base game, and you, as a Fromsoft veteran, probably know it better than I do.

And, yeah, speaking of love-blinded, you know that only recently I've encountered the other side of the situation. Amongst all that vitriol over "writers wanting us to think this and that but we won't!", some people were angry at how fans were effected by Shaman Village's lore, and I saw why. Nobody should feel unsafe in the fandom just because they happen to refuse to hate The Bad Character TM when loud people decided that fandom should, and I did TELL Blender so!

That whereas we, small lore blogs, do not see the "danger" of highlighting character's sins or assuming them as accountable as possible, the "danger" of negative perception of the character exists, in the form of people who sees resulting hatred as moral act!Before SOTE dropped, I've noticed the problem with Mohg! While despairing over why his fans preferred a more charitable interpretation of him instead of "more interesting" sexual offender one, I kind of ENTPed the answer to my own question seeing them bullied for liking said Totally Canonically Sexual Offender. 🙄

I understand why certain people would get so defensive about how to interpret Marika that they'd jump at an objective well-researched post without even reading it (!!!) as some kind of a threat for their happy fandom experience. I insist that if you do enjoy your own vision more, nothing can threaten it, not even canon ffs, but that's not entirely true because we engage not in a vacuum but in a fandom.

Gehrman fans, for one, are more interested in protecting themselves from being blocked on the spot, vagueblogged about and shunned as "misogyny apologists" than in ensuring no one's vision can differ from their. I am a better person and fan than I was 2-3 years ago, but I remember the urge to tear every hater apart even if they did NOT insult or bully anyone. Because they could, and I remembered situations when they would. I also remember the first time I responded on Gehrman slander with cold head and politely. It was such a good memory. Marika did not create a presumably inaccurate life-size replica of her dead student. She started genocide. Thus, yes, I assume that vitriol from haters is even more severe. You mentioned people drawing parallels with real events and excusing them, and everyone here knows it does happen. I understand why.

....however, what did we JUST conclude about "understanding the reasons for someone's behaviour"? That it simply humanises them, not automatically excuses them!

You know I'll be proud of myself over this one for a week at least XD I might have created a sort of gravitational field in my blog, that did attract some people who really dislike Marika and dislike fans that "woobify" her (do kids still use this word?). It might be just something autistic, because in my vision, just because I call character fascist or otherwise point out something awful about them doesn't mean I hate the character or call for hate! Same applies to @val-of-the-north, of course! It is very difficult to communicate that I am not here to be a part of antagonism, and when I get 'reactionary' anons I'll focus on their comfort over comfort of hypothetical people that only might see my posts. This alone gets me involved by effect. I will be at least part of the problem whether I want it or not, so is everyone who posts any observations and opinions in the fandom at all. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to be 100% good fan is to not participate in the fandom beyond being a content machine.

It is very easy to get caught in a cycle of reactionary paranoia and "returning" aggression. But bad fandom experiences should not make anyone resort to attacking-on-sight even if this person wasn't hateful but just shared their observations. Just as much as how experience with bad writing excusing vile things should not make anyone resort to trashing on explanations (and "heretical" fans that acknowledge them for a good measure). Both sides have the understandable reasons for being cringe. Both sides ALSO deserve to be grabbed by the collars and get their heads hit against each other, like in a sort of an outdated anime gag. 🙄

Anyway, man, thank you for this rant. You've put everything so well, and in a very short form. I still think you are better at 'Fromsoft philosophy' than I, and you WILL accept my compliment!!! Honestly, the dreaded practice of "caring about discourse" is not all reductive and evil or whatever. Heck, you kinda prove that it can be as much an expression of passion as creativity!

[cosmic-walkers]

I really love how you focus solely on the queer subtext between the characters, and how you're able to make a lot of out of what little we get between Thomas and his interaction with certain men in Wolf Hall. I didn't realize just how much he and Stephen interacted before you started posting it, even though I read the entire series. I enjoy seeing how you're able to tie that together.

I like your take on Stephen and religious guilt. In the book at least he didn't want to be a priest, but it makes sense he's covet Catholicism because he was forced into it and it's all he knows. And now here comes Thomas poking holes in his safety net lol. And now he's wondering if he should've been in the religion to begin with.

YESSS to everything you've said omg.

Honestly, my favorite things to do - especially in period-centric literature and pieces - is to seek out queer themes in the context of times, religion, etc. Obviously, you know me I'm mostly writing Henry and Thomas, but there is also something so realistic about the way the relationship between Stephen and Thomas is portrayed at the beginning that really gives me subtle hints of the possibility of a relationship, love, etc. The way Thomas acts around Stephen is a way he only acts around people he is comfortable with; he doesn't erect any walls. He teases Stephen, tries to annoy him, tests his limits, etc. And as angry as Stephen gets, you can tell there is a part of him that enjoys their banter. Like around Henry and the other Lords and Nobles, Thomas does keep up a certain persona. He is kept to himself, respectful, of course he goads them and doesn't back down, but there is certainly a level of respect.

With Stephen, it goes out of the window. He doesn't actually address him in the way he's supposed to (he isn't just a random priest, he is the Bishop of Winchester T-T), he calls him by his first or last name, and he is just so casual around him. he jokes around him, etc. at first you can chalk it up to the fact that he doesn't think he owes Stephen respect but then, the way he interacts and lets loose around him, he does see Stephen as friend or at the very least an aquaitnece.

And then Stephen indulges; he lets Thomas be around him, he lets Thomas talk to him and address him in rather casual ways. One of my favorite parts was the scene in the book where he was organizing Stephen's stuff for him and made a comment about his parent's love letters; stephen being a bastard is trait of shame for him, but he was actually calm and friendly with Thomas despite that joke.

I think there was a mutual truce between the two *until* Stephen was sent away to France. Anything that could have come between them or any development was essentially ruined.

But before that (and you know even after wrt to our fix-it aus), there is certainly something there. When I write or think about these two and the fact that Stephen falls in love with Thomas, there is a lot of Catholic guilt because first of all, he is a Bishop and Thomas is what he deems to be THEE heretic, but then at the other end there is the sense of duty. As a bastard, Stephen was more or less pushed into this life where he had to sacrifice the life he could have possibly wanted in order to appease all sides. This position later on granted him power but as we read earlier in the book--he isn't happy to begin with. I think falling in love with Thomas Thee Heratic probably makes things difficult because aside from Catholic guilt, it makes him question if this is the life he could've had if he had a choice. If he would've been happy, if he even wouldn't been a staunch Catholic, and if things were different would he have been with Thomas and been happy? BASICALLY, everything you just said.

I think Thomas scares Stephen (when looking through a QUEER subtext) because he threatens everything Stephen knows about himself, and everything he was forced to believe.

That's what makes them good---

[marudeinusa]

HIIII I'd love to ask some questions wheeeee. one character that rlly caught my interest was rantaro... he seems to be wearing a priest outfit and I was curious about his relationship with religion/level of religious belief as well as how it bleeds into his daily life and overall perception of the world :0

HI HI OMG HI LEMYA ^_^ i was hoping youd appear hehe. Im glad you asked about Rantaro! I keep his profile low and usually leave him out of the central 6, but he is the game's true antagonist and a very powerful, sinister figure.

I almost immediately decided that he would look like a catholic priest, and built from there onwards. I have a difficult relationship to religion, i essentially spent 3 years of early childhood being babysat and educated in a nunnery and severely abused by the nuns. When I realized how Christianity twisted itself very early in its life into a flag of violent conquest that abusers who like to justify their own greed readily rally around, it helped me make sense of how my own abuse within its walls wasnt an isolated case, and I was actually fairly lucky because i escaped his clutches. However, a strange image of beautiful, young, pure and kind nuns and priests stuck with me, even though Ive only ever met child abusers, bigots and thieves in my vicinity.. sorry for this digression but i had to explain this in order to explain rantaro! He is not christian, and does not hail from a christian family either. He was raised vaguely Buddhist and in fact he is still known by the public as a kind benefactor to a local temple. Religion anf spirituality dont really have any value to him, and neither does money even though he has a lot of it. He perceives trust to be the true currency of value in his world. When Rantaro was young, his father (a politician, albeit a small fish in a vast sea) stole from the european mafia that he had a give-and-take relationship with, and as a result was executed alongside his immediate family members. In a moment of desperation, fifteen-year-old Rantaro began begging for his life in a snivelling, embarrassing display, promising to swear loyalty to the mafia boss and be his dog if his life was spared. The boss was faintly amused with how he only begged for his own life to be spared and not his parents' and siblings' and promised Rantaro an office job in exchange for him disposing of the corpses. The boss fulfilled his promise, and young Rantaro became fixated on the idea that doing disgusting and shameful things for others' sake will make them trust and love you. He performed diligently at his job, and not long after he met Seiya. I will not spoil their relationship because it's central to the ending, but Seiya became the embodiment and object of Rantaro's obsession with establishing a tie through witnessing and being made to witness the most terrible parts of the other person. At some point, Rantaro created his stage persona called "Father Pius" (to separate it from his business persona). Father Pius is always portrayed on the stage as a priest in a confessional booth, usually ending up seduced and driven to lechery by characters played by his other 3 unit members. There's a dark irony in the man who abused Seiya, who in turn abused Odile, to paint himself to the audience as a paragon of purity being dragged down into the muck by outsider temptresses. Guilt and a feeling of responsibility and blame fester in his victims, and the stage play blends with real life.

All in all, his outfit represents a surface-level purity and deep-rooted depravity being brushed off as a momentary loss of sound judgement due to the seductivr powers of evil. The character of Father Pius is well accepted by the fans, though fans still favor the star crossed lovers dynamic between the Leader's character and Jiang Bin's character to the story of the Leader seducing Father Pius. Rantaro does not want to kill himself over this (self affirmation)

[eparvierr]

okay so i have Thoughts after finishing watching it

pete is so aggressively normal in comparison to the rest of them (the high schoolers) and i love that for him. and like maybe stephanie is fairly normal too. but pretty girls scare me.

i don't know what high schoolers are like cause i dropped out when i was 12 so this might as well be what high school is really like. i'm going to pretend it is.

the telemarketer x ruth gag got me every time.

i NEED a backstory on max jägerman. i feel like he has the potential to be such a complex character

i love being alive! fucking dies might be one of my favorite moments

for 0.1 secs i really had hope nothing bad would happen, because max misread their intentions in luring him to the waylon place. i was like "omg he probably has his own problems and maybe he could be The Redeemed Character and everyone will get along" but no. in retrospect it was stupid to think that but eh.

why did ruth die??? i liked her sm omg. misery wretchedness despair and hellfire on planet earth T-T

not the barista spitting in pete's cup. i hate that that made me physically ill. this is why i don't go outside

"are you a woman of faith?" "catholic." "i'll take that as a no." fucking killed me omg.

as someone who used to be devoutly christian, grace is so relatable but disturbing to watch in equal measures. the guilt, the 'divine retribution' she thinks she's meting out, the justifications, the repression, just chef's kiss. like i get that it's played off as a humorous gag like half the time and it IS funny but it's also so so serious to me.

i thought they were gonna make grace give up her bible as the thing she treasured most but i guess the way things went makes more sense

are we ever gonna get more info on the lords in black? cause i feel like they were way too interesting and full of potential for the tiny amount of screen time they got.

i am headcanon-ing at LEAST half of em as aro, trans, or both and no one can stop me

ms tessburger is so pretty i fear she is sooo my type it's not even funny anymore i want her to sit on my face what who said that

YEYSYYSYS HOLY SHIT YOU GET IT!!!!! YOUG ET IT SOOOO HARD OMG!!!!! YOU UNDERSTAND IT SOOOOO HARD ITS CRAZY YAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAA

ESPECIALLY regarding grace & the aro hcs

and do NOT worry, the lib are like a HUGE theme in nightmare time & the other musicals

the miss tessburger thing is so insanely fucking real. i literally need her so bad

[finniestoncrane]

Could we maybe get No.10: The Staunton Lick with Arkham! Scarecrow? I’d love to see what music you think would fit him :)

🎀 No.10: The Staunton Lick 🎀

give me a character and i'll make a mini playlist for them a/n: oooooh he's an interesting boy to work with, but i think i got him! 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

o, death - ralph stanley

any rendition works for him, but i think this one particularly, lack of accompaniment, bluesy folk voice, it's barren but filled with emotion, just like him

libera me - faure's requiem

'i am made to tremble and fear' the perfect amount of catholic guilt in a song, but while it's tone and admittedly some of the words suggest doom, it's about deliverance from that evil. the entirety of faure's requiem is very jon tbh

one caress - depeche mode

one of the few 'pop' songs jon might consider listening to, it's dark, almost classical sounding, and is so lamentable omg lighten up jon

riders on the storm - the doors

this is in his sex playlist, won't be told otherwise. gentle, slow, thorough, atmospheric but also about a murderer? so sexy jon. although i bet you there's a shit tonne of jim morrison on his sex playlist, maybe even some of his spoken word stuff too...

house of the rising sun - the animals

this kind of dark ballad, the woes of mankind, the elements of absolute sorrow, perfect for him. i bet he tried learning the riff on guitar when he was younger

down in a willow garden - the kossoy sisters

i know because he told me, but jonathan crane has a whole load of appalachian murder ballads on his playlist, but this particular one is his favourite. he hums it absent-mindedly while he works

the headless horseman - thurl ravenscroft

this is as jaunty as jon ever really gets, but he'll tap his toes along to this while he works if he's in a good mood

season of the witch - donovan

if jonathan crane was going to be a genre, i think he'd be soft, psychedelic rock and this song by donovan encapsulates that kind of vibe perfectly

hurdy gurdy man - donovan

and then because it's also very much jon, i'm adding this one by donovan too. bet jon refers to himself as the hurdy gurdy man when he's talking to his crows

don't fear the reaper - blue oyster cult

this is his theme song, for me at least anyway. he listens to this before he executes a big plan, like his psych-up song. he's an adorable little creature

[americanrecord]

u totally should nott have told me u like answering these kinds of questions lol bc u set me offff 😭 i just have so many!! like this rewrite is genuinely the thing i’m most looking forward to and i’m not kidding))) since we’ve already talked abt the boys..fuck the boys…the girls are where it’s at!! inez and val’s relationship, is it gonna be any different? how are the altered personalities going to mesh/interact? so fun! love, always

omg girl, that's what i used to all day, everyday, on my old blog until like the beginning of this past summer! i love talking about the writing, characters, etc <3 and it always tickles me to know that people care enough to ask. i do feel like i know enough about my universe at this time to answer most things too, whereas a lot used to be shrouded in mystery back on the other side of things.

but, anyway, fuck the boys fr. this is true, i only care about the girls. as for inez and val's relationship, it's not too different. i would say they actually retain some of the most similarities. the plot rises and falls the same way for them in book 1 as it did with the og. but their dynamic is a bit different. firstly, not that it impacted too much, but i did drop valerie's old crush on inez, solely because i didn't really want to have two pairs of best friends with romantic (requited or not) history. it would feel repetitive and not as special, and dean and lex's past relationship definitely impacted an overall plot to a greater degree. so that "having a crush on inez" void in val's past was just filled by an ex-gf who's mentioned from time to time and may or may not make an appearance later on.

other than that, let's see...

well, firstly, inez does gain what i believe was my biggest grievance with maintaining the character of jill: a backbone. she retain's jill's know-it-all sense, but it's infused with a certain confidence (stubbornness) that jill lacked. she doesn't keel over when told, and while still a kind-fronting person, she does have that mean streak that is backed up by her ability to hold her own. it just makes her more of a difficult presence when valerie and lex get going, because she not only objects, but really means it (there is also a bit better of context surrounding her feelings on lex) and pretty much does everything in her power—too much—to try and interfere with their relationship in the name of "knowing what's best for valerie." and we all know how valerie feels about people who think and act like they can make decisions for herself better than she can.

valerie, on the other hand, has softened a considerable amount. i really liked where she ended up toward the end of the original work, where she was very sensitive and introspective, so i sort've worked my way back and implemented this from the beginning. i thought it was much more realistic a characterization for somebody with her type of trauma, and it's also in line with her [currently undiagnosed] OCD, which in general has her pretty tense and vigilant at almost all times. her obsessions and compulsions mostly start out revolving around the fear of contamination, and that combined with her deadly catholic guilt just keeps her very particular and maybe not the easiest to get along with unless you're willing to put the effort it. not many people are. inez is one of those people, however, so she's quite protective over her and is very in tune to all of her various needs, maybe to the point where she's not ready to accommodate the idea that somebody else is also down to be the same. valerie also suffers from chronic loneliness due to her night shift and initial isolation from the music sphere, which inez does not (she's friends with everyone in the band and even other bands sans lex at the story's start), so that also contributes to their eventual explosion. valerie is lonely and finds lex/wants connections beyond the one she has with her best friend, and inez is super protective over her and doesn't realize that she has what valerie wants (romantic/sexual/platonic connections galore). i think it makes sense that valerie ditches the moment she senses that rapunzel/mother gothel thing she felt with her mother with inez.

THAT being said, they're still besties despite their clashing work schedules, and they do recover by the end of the story. details to be seen in the story itself... <3 i mostly think these character differences make so much sense and still thankfully create a similar dynamic. valerie spent her whole childhood being repressed so that she's sort of internalized that docility and struggles to like, break from it? which is what makes lex so exciting, and then inez—who, while free of a traumatizing childhood, did grow up with four other siblings and was frequently talked over/reduced to the "baby sister" so that she wants to make sure her voice is always heard and essentially does just that. whether or not she's right isn't always what's important (sometimes she is), it's just that she can be a bit stifling with valerie's freedom in book 1, which is a lesson she has to learn. (where valerie then has to learn that sometimes people looking out for you has a purpose and they're not just doing it to do it.)

see, the best thing about rewriting is having the whole story in ur head already so that you're not just sorta winging it as you go and hoping the pieces connect. now, i can actually defend the plot and the characterizations, and they feel so much more cohesive! i love them, and i love their new versions more than i do their ogs <3 they feel even realer.

so, thanks for asking! and please know that i will accept every question always. i clearly love talking, and i love distractions from my boring ass internship even more. also -- if beta-reading the rewrite is something you're interested in, let me know! it would probably be the quickest way to see it because who knows what the battle of publication will look like! just message me or something if so <3 i think i have room for one more!

[13eyond13]

Hello, do you mind if I ask that "bookish ask"? For no. 15, 34, and 50. Thanks if you want to answer.....

Hello! Sure, thank you for asking :)

15. What book changed your life?

This was a hard question!

I know I've mentioned this book already several times but in complete honesty I think Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice did geniunely change my life a bit whenever I first read it at 15 or 16. I was raised in a strict Christian home and sent to a tiny Christian school in a small town, and had all my media and activities and the people I was allowed to interact with and the stuff I did very closely monitored so that it was basically always Christian and rarely ever adult in content or themes or anything for most of my childhood and my early teens. So originally when I bought this book at the bookstore at age 15 and my mom found out about it I had to return it to the bookstore immediately, because she saw that it was about vampires and she thought it sounded bad. Normally I was pretty obedient and I hated to do anything against my parents' wishes, but by then I had already started reading it and was already pretty hooked on knowing what was going to happen next. So I sneaked around behind my mom's back to secretly buy it again, and then pulled a Light Yagami by gutting one of the wholesome children's books on my shelf to hide this forbidden book inside (this was before I ever watched Death Note, but whenever I saw Light using the same bookshelf trick to hide his magazines I was like HAHAHA omg no way). So reading this book and then several more of them in the series after that kinda marked the first time I ever really explicitly disobeyed the authority figures around me in order to read something considered off-limits or more "adult," and kinda made me realize that I felt like I was missing out on a whole gigantic part of life by only ever being restricted to that tiny little bubble of stuff I'd been exposed to thus far. Everything that the book touched on just resonated extremely strongly with me at the time, in large part probably due to my religious guilt and my questioning of these things (because oooh boy is it obvious that Anne Rice is a lapsed Catholic in her writing a lot of the time). But also I think the melodrama of the story matched with my teenage angst so well, and I definitely was vibing strongly with just how queer so much of the series feels as well (I didn't realize yet that I was gay, but I was starting to question things like that about myself a bit by then I think. It was very rare that I was ever exposed to anything not completely heteronormative back then due to it being the 2000s and due to being in a homophobic religious bubble my whole life, so this really was one of the very first times I was). I feel like reading this book really marked the beginning of me opening my mind up from the stuff that I'd just been raised to believe and acted like a nice gateway for me between that and exploring lots of other interesting things that had previously been off-limits to me before that as well.

34. List 5 OTPs: I don't think I actually have five OTPs! The only one I really truly have ever been long-term passionate about enough to call it something like an otp is Lawlight. I could name you a few other ships that I definitely find pretty compelling and angsty for me to think about as well right now though, like Nana and Hachi from the Nana manga series and Griffguts from Berserk

50. Why do you love to read?

Hmm! At this point I might say just that I'm kind of obsessed with stories and the art of storytelling in general. And I think what I love so much about books in particular is just how intimate they can feel and how deep into a character's head or specific point of view or a different world or time period or whatever you can get with them. It's a bit different than something like watching a show or a movie to really get to know a character or experience a story directly just through the words on the page. I like how much you can just make it all up for yourself (which is to me why it often feels really odd to see a book I loved turned into a movie or show that doesn't match what I pictured in my imagination). I was lucky enough to grow up reading and being read to by my parents quite a bit, so it feels homey and nostalgic to me to sit down with a good book too. And I feel like as an adult it's just one of the better hobbies I've ever had in terms of expanding my mind and challenging me and teaching me a lot about all the things that interest me the most.

[bookish asks]

[fox-buried-in-maple-leaves]

for this ask game, 🥺 to 🌞

Ask Game

omg u ask about lane??? u ask about lane?! one thousand kisses for rowan!!

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

A couple!

1- Whenever Alee romantically says he loves somebody that isn't Vesper.

2- THIS dialogue line and its variations; "I don't fucking hate you! I hate myself. Why am I not allowed to be upset and hate myself!?"

3- Every time Honoré looks at Kevin, knowing he's being looked over.

4- and finally, every time the Ambros twins hug one another.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Sorry its the clown honk tiddy scene, it makes me laugh every single fucking time.

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

"Playfully"? barely. I've been mean to my readers for sure, but idk playful doesn't feel fitting, cause i'm rarely mean to just be mean for a laugh.

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Nyo.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Catholic guilt, masks, animal symbolism, and Trees.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Of the ones posted on here? Probably the Broken Dove fic I wrote for the march event. But its less of a wild ride and purposefully supposed to be hard on the brain because he's not mentally well.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I like that I'm consistent.

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

LOVE THEM LOVE THEM LOVE THEM!! I have so many aus and so many first kiss fics.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do! Music or a video. @canis-umbrarum made me a playlist recently thats been on repeat. Besides that though uhh Unknown Mother Goose (wowaka) but Rachie's english cover.

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

Google docs and focus writer

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

Uhh hundreds.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Hi Max!!! My sister too.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Mmm I've written millions of words of content kinda hard to gauge what's the sweetest. On this blog alone that I've POSTED? To Be Loved, Is To Be Changed.

🍷 Do you drink and write?

yes lol

🍆 Do you write the spicy stuffs? If so, what's your most popular nsfw fic?

I do<3 uhh I don't know? ask Henrik or smth. But in terms of notes I actually think its a nsfw hcs post on my rainbow six siege blog... :grimace:

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Night time or bust.

[vaugarde]

hello! same anon that was asking moonscape about pmmm stuff. i've been looking through your pmmm-related posts a bit after i saw your reply and i love the way you talk about the characters and really seem to understand them! do you maybe have some more headcanons or general thoughts you'd want to share? i can never get enough of hearing fan's cool thoughts about the show

AHHH thank you!! im really flattered omg i'll put some general thoughts and rambles under the cut so my mutual who hasnt seen it yet wont see

-i know you said you saw my reply already but just gonna repeat it so its on my blog: homura was a foster child who lost her parents when she was young, and because of her heart condition she was passed around to several different (usually christian) families that usually didn't care much for her, only about the check. this led to her initial meek and self deprecating personality. the reason she latched onto madoka is because she's the first person to ever show her true kindness. when she changes her hair style, she cuts off from her current foster family entirely and lives on her own (and may have stolen the foster checks and other cash to do so)

-on top of that she struggles with her feelings with madoka and feeling like she's cruel and selfish for loving her because of her christian upbringing and going to catholic school. families likely didn't take well to her being gay

-hitomi is a closeted lesbian

-kyosuke gives me egg vibes so.

-im basic i like madohomu best but like polyam holy quintet is so real also

-people who say madohomu is one sided are so wrong. how do u explain any of madoka's actions towards homura when walpurgisnacht happens

-some of my favorite moments in the show relate to homura stuff bc GOD all of her scenes are just. enhanced by the plot twist

-wait ive mentioned this but people who think homura doesn't care about the other girls are so??? literally yes she does care about them, she loves madoka the most of course but she cares about sayaka's life when she goes to retrieve her soul gem and her telling sayaka she'll kill her to spare madoka the pain is clearly just her doing the worst thing she can to force sayaka to act. she's kinda distant from everything she's done at this point and is willing to act cruel to get what she wants.

-i kinda love that canonically mami is the strongest magical girl. mami is underrated tbh, i know she's a main character but her spinoff manga was SO good and she's such a tragic character in her own right. she's a deeply lonely person and even if i didn't care for magia record season 1, i really like the approach they went with her character there, where in this universe she's the one who convinced madoka and sayaka to contract, and when she learns the truth, she becomes ridden with guilt and joins the magias to save them because she feels responsible for their fates now. it's such a good place to take her character (and im kinda sad they eventually go "oh no it was brainwashing nvm")

-i absolutely adore this show's brand of horror. the entire thing is just Off in a lot of ways but it's in ways you struggle to place, and the whole thing is thanks to shaft's editing. there's a youtube vid i watched where like the tilting shots up to where the girls look down on the "camera" or random close ups on objects with quiet sounds adds to the feeling that something is wrong even when the show hasn't taken it's dark turn yet. i think focusing a lot of the actual horror elements on the terror of everyone's situation and gradually revealing how much worse everything is is so perfect, it's all paced perfectly to be as hard hitting as possible. and the actual violent moments are done well, none of them are really THAT bad but they're blunt and shocking enough to hit where it hurts. idk if im describing it right but augh its so good

-on that topic the theory that pmmm is framed as a stage show is also so good. i gotta find the post i reblogged about that bc man it adds to the show

[michaelmyersmalewife]

oh, yeah, I totally get that and I definitely understand why it resonates with you. I think they did a really good job showing the tensions between ruth and lee, and I would've loved to have seen that explored some more. and I'm really glad the film was something you were able to connect with like that, though I definitely understand the pain and pressure that comes from an overprotective or overly invested parent. I was raised in a Muslim family, and I'm quite lapsed from it now, but my mom still constantly asks me to pray and tries to pressure and guilt-trip me into it. just the other day, she essentially ordered me to do one prayer a day, not even asking me if it's what I want, and that gave me such a helpless feeling. I remember watching the film, and thinking I could definitely relate to lee trying to rush the end of the call when her mom asks if she's still praying JDKSDJS because I, too, will literally laugh it off with my mom and try to switch the topic super fast 😭

NO FR like, it made me actually bugged that people felt like just because lee didn't perform or engage with society's narrow, specifically set of standards designated for social interactions, she must be rude or not care for ruby, like 😭 I really don't like that, since it essentially pushes this narrative that if someone doesn't mask and doesn't perform society's "rules," they must be behaving rudely or angrily, which ofc is not true. and omg please, let's talk about it more!! after seeing longlegs, I immediately searched up that night if anyone else thought lee was on the spectrum, and I was so glad to see other people identifying with her. like, you're spot on, I remember seeing how she interacted with agent carter (also omg I loved him sm) and agent browning, and being so happy to see a neurodivergent character in a horror film. and for sure, I thought her accepting the invitation was def a sign she was open to seeing ruby again!!

omg right, I'm seriously hoping they release the alternate ending. I know some people said in the credits, there was an actress whose role was "Adult Ruby," and honestly, I'd love to see an ending that shows how ruby has been impacted by the events of the film + if her and lee are still in touch. and same, i really would've loved the film to be longer, or to have it turned into a series ;-; my main complaint of the film was that things weren't fleshed out enough, and I feel like a series would've done a brilliant job at expanding certain elements. plus it gives more lee harker content 💗_💗 HAHA

augh that sounds rough, i totally understand where you’re coming from ;-; i haven’t been a practicing catholic in quite some time, but a lot of that thinking has been ingrained into my behavior, so it’s taken a lot of work to undo it. some of my family outside my mom are still very much in it (and wish i was), so i try to avoid religious talk with them, but oh man. i feel “trying very hard to switch topics when talking to my mom” A Lot. i love her ofc, but sometimes the way she acts feels like more of a guilt trip than a conversation, and forget about disagreeing with her!

anyway - yeah🤨 it’s interesting that some people are drawing that conclusion with lee when your typical detective procedural protagonist (mostly played by men. interesting) has those same antisocial qualities, they’re beloved.

and oh?? i must’ve missed that…gives me another reason to watch the movie again lmao

but yeah😔 sadly movies only have so much time with the characters and their world. i know i definitely would’ve liked to spend more time in longlegs’ universe

[brave-and-gentle]

Okidoki youve seen skmd. Thoughts? :3

Omg yes thank for you reminding me about that! Overall, I really liked it. We love gay rights Uhtred and Aethelstan inventing Catholic guilt lmao. I wish we had more info on the main villain though…like why do all the things?? Where is the motivation?? Also still refusing to properly age the characters is hilarious. Uhtred is supposed to be what, 80, and he doesn’t look older than 35?? And at the end, I understand most of this was simply actor availability, but I wish we had more characters in the Valhalla scene - where was Ragnar?? Thyra?? Gisela?? But shout out to our girl Brida for making it in and living her best life 🥰🥰

[bowieandqueen11]

Matt Murdock As A Dad Would Include...

Request: Just seeing a couple of your HC's of Marvel dads (AG's was by far my fav) how about we imagine our beloved Catholic boi Matt Murdock as a father. Because for real this guy DESERVES happiness in his life goddamnit!!!

The way my mind exploded with this request @mirkwoodshewolf​ HE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY!!! If you enjoy please help me out and leave a comment! 🥺

(I do not own Daredevil or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @cellophaine.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

Okay, we have to start this off by saying that not only would Matt Murdock be t h e BEST dad, I feel like he would always try his hardest to be the funniest dad. He knows what it feels like to grow up with loss and fear and guilt and loneliness, with his dad’s death and his mother... well, that’s a story for a certain nun to tell you in the future. So he always tries his best to make sure that his child is as happy as they can be in that moment. 

He never really felt like he deserved a family??? With the whole Devil inside of him and God never speaking to him he’s felt that his whole life has been some kind of limbo and that he never deserved anything except the pain he wrought upon himself. But then Foggy came along and proved him wrong, and then Karen, and then YOU and then his S O N oh my god??? You can bet that when he finally found out you were pregnant he was a full on mess.

The two of you were just chilling on his sofa in sweats one afternoon. He was grumbling against your forehead about the Frank Castle case, his arm wrapped around your side and stroking up and down your arm. But then he froze. Just complete shock taking over his body as he leant his head down towards you to try and focus on the small thudding noise that was coming from your midriff. When he finally realised the sound was a heartbeat... a heartbeat... you honestly thought he was about to conk out on you. Eyes wide as they traced down towards your stomach, chin still stuck heavy against the top of your head and fingers clenching into your bicep.

And then he started blubbering - full on crimson eyes squeezed shut as the thunderstorm in his soul bloomed fell blossom through his eyelids. You have to spend the night with him tucked up, knee to chest against your stomach. His face is just squished into the skin as he uses his fingers to clunkily raise your shirt, just closing his eyes and listening. Although he seems still, his arm is shaking as you rest a hand on it and just let him know that it’s okay. He doesn’t have to be afraid. He doesn’t have to be anyone other than Matt Murdock.

He begins to understand, now, why people pray. Why they put their faith in something other than themselves. Because, by lord, all his adulation belongs to the tiny baby growing just inches away from his sniffling nose.

After a while you think he’s fallen asleep curled up like a little bug on top of your lap. He’s finally fallen heavy against you (while he’s awake, he’s too afraid of hurting you in any way to put his full weight against your body), and his shoulders are heaving with even breaths. Against the silence though, his voice cuts through like a blade.

‘I love you, more than anything.’ It’s sharp, and jagged, his words heaving with pain to get out of his throat, because it’s the truest thing Matt Murdock will ever confess. ‘I’ve never felt so free- so much like myself with anyone else. I promise, I will love you and our child forever.’

Even after his son Jack is born, he’s still absolutely terrified of passing on whatever is burning within him to his son. But that doesn’t stop him from putting 100% of himself in to giving his son the best life he can in spite of being a Murdock.

Just after he’s born??? Omg!??? It doesn’t matter if your baby won’t sleep, because Matt sure as heck won’t either. Every twitch, every huff of breath, every catch of air beckoning the beginning of a cry, Matt has kissed the side of your head and has abandoned the bed before you can even blink. It’s his favourite thing to do, just to bring his baby back to bed cradled in his strong arms. Shushing him gently, he’s careful not to wake you up as he snuggles back down into the duvets and into your side. And he just stays there until the honey sun begins to rise the dust from the blinds. His stout fingers just tenderly running over every inch - every dip and curve of his son’s face, trying to map it all out and burn it into his mind. 

If you ever wake up early enough to catch him, the beaming smile on his face the entire time he does it is enough to break your heart.

For the first time in his life, he doesn’t feel sick to his core. He doesn’t feel horrified, or scared, or angry, or dejected, or hopeless, or-. He just feels calm. Relieved. As if he’s finally found the piece of his heart that was taken from him so many years ago.

And then he does pray. He cries, and he prays, and he thanks God for giving him Matt Murdock back.

In conclusion, Matt Murdock is a big sap. That doesn’t mean his son can get away with everything though!! You could be telling him off in the kitchen, wiping the crumbs away from the side of his mouth with your thumb and telling him not to eat all the cookies in the house before dinner when your son would try to deny it. And you would just hear Matt stop brushing his teeth from the bathroom and a mumbled ‘he’s lying’ coming from his direction.

Matt is definitely the type of father to buy his kid a matching ‘I’m not Daredevil!’ jumper for the annual Christmas get together. Matt would be absolutely loving the confused looks all your family members were throwing each other, but Uncle Foggy would just be sipping eggnog in the corner and shaking his head into his hands lmao.

Matt spent a good chunk of his childhood patching his father’s face up after every boxing match, so he’s a pro when it comes to childhood accidents. He’s so calm, and caring - it’s all soft little murmuring of affirmations, softly stroking back hair away from crying faces and forehead kisses as he puts the band aid on.

When his son gets a bit older, he lets him draw a new sign for Nelson, Murdock & Page. Then you, Matt, Foggy and Karen pretend to have this huge unveiling ceremony outside the office with a fake banner and a little table for cakes and tea and it’s so cute!!! But Matt actually keeps the drawing on his desk when the party’s over, so every time he goes into work it’s the first thing he can touch. Just feeling the crayon marks and the little crinkled corners makes his heart beat faster he’s so proud and happy I can’t.

Some days he wakes up quite late and is late for work, usually after a rough night out on patrol around Hell’s Kitchen. He finds it odd, though, that you didn’t shake him awake once it hit seven. Instead, as he sat up, and tries to reach for his glasses, he can hear you laughing from the front door. Turns out his son had stolen his tinted glasses, and one of his suits, and one of his canes and had gone trailing out the door pretending to be his dad.

Foggy had been doubled over in laughter - he found it so hilarious that he actually took his godchild to work on the pretence that he would actually be more useful than Matthew.

But that’s fine!!! Once Matt actually gets into the office, he just uses it as an excuse to spend more time with his son. No matter how hard or desperate the case he’s working on seems, he always feels ten times better with his son by his side. He, Foggy and Karen proceed with every meeting as seriously and professionally as they ever would. They’re already so used to your son sitting asleep on Matthew’s knee. His head keeps twitching intently every time his son moves, or whimpers, or yawns, and he adjusts himself accordingly, gently rocking his knee up and down to make sure his son goes back to sleep peacefully.

He’s both a really good lawyer and a really good dad y’all I don’t make the rules.

You come back home to your apartment late some days, exhausted and hungry after your double shift. It always makes your stomach flutter when you walk in and see Matthew sitting on the couch with his son on his lap. He’s tracing over braille, reading aloud a book and doing different, silly voices for each character that makes your son burst out into these high little giggles that make Matthew laugh every time as well.

As if that wasn’t cute enough, they’re both wearing matching koala onesies Karen bought them for Christmas as well.

Sometimes you wake up while the stars are still flickering past the smog wrapped silhouettes of the high-rises outside, just to find yourself freezing. It takes you a moment to realise it’s because Matt isn’t in his usual position, curled around your back. Instead, you can vaguely make out his form in the doorway of your son’s room. He’s just standing there, tracing the back of his hand against his child’s cheek to make sure that he’s okay - he’s still there, still real, still safe- before he finally assures himself everything’s fine and tucks the blanket back up to his chin.

Also ngl I just feel like Spider-Man would be like a really cool older brother to you and Matthew’s son?? Like, while you’re at work and Matt’s busy in court, Peter would swing by and pick him up from school with a little ruffle of the hair and piggyback ride. And then they would go out for hot dogs, and Matt would come to pick him up later at Hell Gate Bridge, where the three of them would end up sitting from one of the trusses eating ice cream Matt had bought for them.

Matthew would 100% be the kind of dad to be both overprotective as Daredevil, but also just as Matt. Whenever the three of you walk back home from the law offices, he’ll gently let go of your hand and shrug off his jacket. He’ll use it to wrap his son up like a burrito and carry him in his arms all the way home because he could sense one hair on his son’s arm beginning to rise in response to the drop in temperature night brings.

I’m screaming he deserves the world, and from Matthew’s perspective, he finally has it. And for once, it’s no longer burning. It’s tranquil. It’s flourishing. It’s everything.

[arcann]

I don't think you rb'd it but if you think you're getting out of this without an ask you're wrong.

Top 5 character moments in 14

And top 5 fave things about dead space gogogog

I did rb it i did i prommy

Ffxiv best moments In no specific order:

- Ardbert's last words to the WoL in shb. "If you had the strength to take another step could you do it? Could you save our worlds?" Death and killing and maiming... Which is what happens right after to certain dramatic ascian bitch >:)

- Haurchefant's death. I still cry like a forlorn widow. Don't look at me.

-Vidofnir saving the kid that gets thrown out the window by the crazy catholic elf and her speech afterwards in front of the awed crowd. Actually all that struggle to find peace between dravania and ishgard and seeing Aymeric try so hard gives me feels.

- The lvl 70 drk mission where Myste (and the WoL) make peace with all the guilt they carry. "In your darkest hour, in the blackest night think of me and I will be with you. For where else could I go? Who else could I love but you?" Insane. Absolutely insane.

- G'raha slowly having to open up to the WoL but especially their talk in Kholusia where he's totally not talking about how much he admires them and how they should go on an adventure together.

Extra: this was cheap af bc its coming from ew and they were totally throwing all their flavor packages in the same instant soup but all the dread you feel as the team slowly gets terminated to open a way in ultima thule. Fuck that but omg if i didn't feel it.

Dead space (and im missing a bunch of stuff i like)

- i love that Isaac is just Some Guy. He's an engineer and he's here bc he needs to do some repairs + he wants to see his girlfriend. Then he gets thrown into space silent hill. Also he's a little heretic who hates the dominant religion. Im not projecting :)

- Actually the huge silent hill inspiration. The monster is in your head. No its not. Yes it is. How about both? It will hurt you anyway just as much as the totally not scientology religion will :) oh, they look like monsters to you?

- i think my favorite part of a monster apocalypse is that it explains how it all went wrong and dead space takes its time to show you how certain scientists figured it out while others vehemently refuse it but Know it did. There's a lot of people that still talk to you in the ishimura and the sprawl. Ship's haunted.

- Isaac and Ellie's relationship. They melt my heart while still being a realistic couple of friends in the middle of hell. Their relationship in 3 is a mixed bag but after the world's (and EA's) dumbest love triangle is dealt with they're still a solid couple. Isaac literally letting the moon be awaken instead of sacrificing Ellie because after all he's been through no way is he going to let her go like that. You as the player know he could never go through that again. Will cause unending suffering to others bc of you <3

- the arms and legs of the necromorphs being completely justified as their weak points because they're deemed useless without them by the marker. Its not just a gimmick but an obvious sign that the source of this plague can make decisions of how each being can serve it now. Even that can be scary.