#okay okay so maaaaaybe gil-galad wouldnt fuck u cuz he's catholic or something but i bet 99% of the kings and lords and ladies
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if I were sauron flirting with the hottest men in middle earth, I would not take 300 years to make and give them each 1 piece of jewelry
#human men dont even live that long! lord of gifts my ass#where are the flowers the chocolates the cute little broaches and necklaces and hairpieces for all these sexy long haired men#i GET working with the certified Best with His Hands guy in all the land bent over a forge together for 300 years#but all to make a handful of jewelry. yes yes rings of power but have you considered that you're a sexy shapeshifting maia#and maybe you can reorder middle earth by sucking and fuckin and showering with actual gifts#not brainwash-y rings in disguise?#like sauron dipped his toes into being a femme fatale but ruined it with all his orc and rings of power nonsense#okay okay so maaaaaybe gil-galad wouldnt fuck u cuz he's catholic or something but i bet 99% of the kings and lords and ladies#of middle earth would#but instead of Repairing things like you supposedly wanted to you decided to try and get numenor destroyed#and then went and lost your fair form and NOW yeah...you gotta do the orcs and ring stuff
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