#okay but she is so PAINED and her survivor's guilt would go crazy (if she'd survived rip)

[foreverwants]

──────────────                        claudia was nothing more than a broken saint ,      wings cut off and burnt to a crisp by the very family she’d grown to adore            ⁽ ᵇᵉᵗʳᵃʸᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ’ᵈ ᵃᵈᵐⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒˢᵗ! ⁾ ,            crucified for the sins of her past            ⁽ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ ʰᵃᵈ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ⁿᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˢˡᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵐᵒⁿ ʰᵃᵘⁿᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʰᵉʳ,ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʷᵃˢ ʰᵉʳ ʳᵉʷᵃʳᵈ! ⁾ .            the girl’s punishment had been broadcasted on stage ,      sheer entertainment of the mortals who were unaware of the trial’s weight .      the humans were disinterested in pleading or begging ,      somehow acting more monstrous than the very beings they sentenced to death .      it played like a broken record in her mind            ──────            the feeling of her lover burning to ash within mutilated arms ,      the warmth of the sun as skin slowly withered in to nothingness .      for the first time in her life ,      she’d been chosen first            ⁽ ᵐᵃᵈᵉˡᵉⁱⁿᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ ��ᶠ ʰᵉʳ ᵘⁿᵈᵉᵃᵈ ˡⁱᶠᵉ, ᵃ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ ˢᵃᵛᵃᵍᵉˡʸ ʳⁱᵖᵖᵉᵈ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʰᵉʳ ᵃʳᵐˢ ⁾ ,            prioritized over the tainted love of her brother’s desperation .      claudia remembers those last moments as if they’d happened mere minutes ago ,      sees the bloody tears forming in lestat’s eyes as her own vision blurred from the pain .

❝      i’ve lived a lot longer than i should have .      ❞                        she could also remember the moments after ,      the way she faded in and out of consciousness as frail figure is dragged out of the theater ,      the taste of warm iron on her tongue as body slowly heals from torrefy            ──────            she hated herself for drinking the ichor of another ,      for enjoying the saccharine of the holy gift on her tongue ,      but animalistic instinct prevented her from fading into the darkness alongside her betrothed .      there were weeks of broken consciousness ,      days of savage screams ripped through tortured flesh ,      hours of searing pain as she relived the flames consuming her .      she’d spent over half a century being tormented by survivor’s guilt ,      haunted by the memories of her own demise            ⁽ ᵃ ᵐⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉ ˢʰᵉ’ᵈ ˢᵘʳᵛⁱᵛᵉᵈ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃ ᵐⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉ ʷᵃˢᵗᵉᵈ, ᶠᵒʳ ˢʰᵉ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ’ᵗ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ! ⁾ .                                    ❝      if i’d been lucky ,      i would’ve died a long time ago .      but the universe had other plans for me ,      it seems .      ❞

claudia had no recollection of her savior ,      no desire to know who had pulled her from the warmth of her afterlife            ⁽ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ˢʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃᵈᵉˡᵉⁱⁿᵉ ʷᵉʳᵉ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ⁾ .            whoever it was ,      they did her no favors by allowing her to continue on            ──────            the immortal child ,      forever memorialized in prepubescent body with ancient mind .                        ❝      isn’t life just one cruel joke ?      ❞                        delicate fingers wipe blood from the corner of her mouth ,      gaze travels quickly to the corpse at her feet before looking back to @wantsforever            ──────            yet another drunk ,      drained in the alleyway behind chicago’s loudest club ,      the only way she’d been able to feel   ǝʌılɐ   again .                        ❝      but perhaps you understand nothing of my pain .      it’s rare that people do . . .      ❞