#okay but she is so PAINED and her survivor's guilt would go crazy (if she'd survived rip)
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────────────── claudia was nothing more than a broken saint , wings cut off and burnt to a crisp by the very family she’d grown to adore ⁽ ᵇᵉᵗʳᵃʸᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵃⁿ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ’ᵈ ᵃᵈᵐⁱʳᵉᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒˢᵗ! ⁾ , crucified for the sins of her past ⁽ ᵗʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ ʰᵃᵈ ᵈᵒⁿᵉ ⁿᵒᵗʰⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ˢˡᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵐᵒⁿ ʰᵃᵘⁿᵗⁱⁿᵍ ʰᵉʳ,ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʷᵃˢ ʰᵉʳ ʳᵉʷᵃʳᵈ! ⁾ . the girl’s punishment had been broadcasted on stage , sheer entertainment of the mortals who were unaware of the trial’s weight . the humans were disinterested in pleading or begging , somehow acting more monstrous than the very beings they sentenced to death . it played like a broken record in her mind ────── the feeling of her lover burning to ash within mutilated arms , the warmth of the sun as skin slowly withered in to nothingness . for the first time in her life , she’d been chosen first ⁽ ᵐᵃᵈᵉˡᵉⁱⁿᵉ ʷᵃˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗᵉˢᵗ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ ᵒ��� ʰᵉʳ ᵘⁿᵈᵉᵃᵈ ˡⁱᶠᵉ, ᵃ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ ˢᵃᵛᵃᵍᵉˡʸ ʳⁱᵖᵖᵉᵈ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʰᵉʳ ᵃʳᵐˢ ⁾ , prioritized over the tainted love of her brother’s desperation . claudia remembers those last moments as if they’d happened mere minutes ago , sees the bloody tears forming in lestat’s eyes as her own vision blurred from the pain .
❝ i’ve lived a lot longer than i should have . ❞ she could also remember the moments after , the way she faded in and out of consciousness as frail figure is dragged out of the theater , the taste of warm iron on her tongue as body slowly heals from torrefy ────── she hated herself for drinking the ichor of another , for enjoying the saccharine of the holy gift on her tongue , but animalistic instinct prevented her from fading into the darkness alongside her betrothed . there were weeks of broken consciousness , days of savage screams ripped through tortured flesh , hours of searing pain as she relived the flames consuming her . she’d spent over half a century being tormented by survivor’s guilt , haunted by the memories of her own demise ⁽ ᵃ ᵐⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉ ˢʰᵉ’ᵈ ˢᵘʳᵛⁱᵛᵉᵈ, ᵇᵘᵗ ᵃ ᵐⁱʳᵃᶜˡᵉ ʷᵃˢᵗᵉᵈ, ᶠᵒʳ ˢʰᵉ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ’ᵗ ᵈᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵍⁱᶠᵗ! ⁾ . ❝ if i’d been lucky , i would’ve died a long time ago . but the universe had other plans for me , it seems . ❞
claudia had no recollection of her savior , no desire to know who had pulled her from the warmth of her afterlife ⁽ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒⁿᵉ ʷʰᵉʳᵉ ˢʰᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᵃᵈᵉˡᵉⁱⁿᵉ ʷᵉʳᵉ ˢᵗⁱˡˡ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ⁾ . whoever it was , they did her no favors by allowing her to continue on ────── the immortal child , forever memorialized in prepubescent body with ancient mind . ❝ isn’t life just one cruel joke ? ❞ delicate fingers wipe blood from the corner of her mouth , gaze travels quickly to the corpse at her feet before looking back to @wantsforever ────── yet another drunk , drained in the alleyway behind chicago’s loudest club , the only way she’d been able to feel ǝʌılɐ again . ❝ but perhaps you understand nothing of my pain . it’s rare that people do . . . ❞
#sorry this is so long... but also not sorry at all#the way i haven't written in weeks and then i just wrote paragraphs outta nowhere#i wrote this at 2am after finishing the show and then immediately went to bed#my girl clauds </3#the way i'm obsessed with her#you: has never seen the show#me: im gonna make you write with her anyways#okay but she is so PAINED and her survivor's guilt would go crazy (if she'd survived rip)#wantsforever#♡ *⊹ ⁄⁄⁄ so it is written.#♡ *⊹ ⁄⁄⁄ claudia.
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