#okay but like-- after the thread with Bonnie-- maybe she's already met some of the others-- like Chica-- and so they told her she should go

[artificialqueens]

Tree House Kisses, Chapter 46/46 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica

A/N: Well, here we are. After 46 chapters and over 4.5 years, we’ve finally come to the end of the road. Of course, this last chapter is dedicated to the wonderful, brilliant, amazing @artificialscorpio, who was the original author of this fic and who generously allowed me to first come onboard as a co-author, and then take over when they decided to take a break. I love you so much honey!!!

And of course, we’ve had some fantastic beta readers, especially the ones who helped with these last batch of chapters: @saiphl, @sillylittlecandycane and @tumble4rpdr. Thank you so so much to you guys, you’re the best!

Lastly, if you have ever liked, commented on, or interacted with this story in any way…I love you.

-Veronica

If you’re interested in the rest of this fic, you can click here for previous chapters or here if you’d rather read on AO3. xoxo!

Chapter Summary: Graduation! But what does the future hold…?

Chapter 46: Kaleidoscope

Courtney was very rapidly losing her grip on reality, hands buried in Adore’s hair, back arched, biting down on her lip so hard she tasted blood. The absolute gentleness of Adore’s mouth was making her insane. Even the way she held her thighs down, thumbs lightly stroking her skin, was soft and warm.

The best part, though, was that it was her. Her best friend. The deepest, truest love she’d ever felt, finally being expressed.

Adore.

No one in the history of the world had ever had a more fitting name, Courtney thought, as her fingers tangled deeper into Adore’s hair. And then, like slipping under the cool water on a hot day, her world went blurry, sounds distorted and amplified.

“Adore…” It was a plea. A chant. Her only remaining connection to the physical world, the last thread she held onto before finally letting go, eyes falling closed and body melting down into the wooden floor beneath her.

Her eyes fluttered as she gasped for oxygen. Adore had rolled off of her, was holding one of her hands.

“Courtney?” she asked, edging closer, breath warm on Courtney’s cheek.

Courtney turned towards her, eyes liquid. “Hmm?”

“Are you okay?” she asked. There was a hint of a smile in her voice, an amused sparkle in her eyes.

“Uh huh,” Courtney managed. She took Adore’s face in her hands, kissing her tenderly and then murmuring against her lips. “That was perfect, so perfect…”

“Yeah?” Adore asked, wrapping her into an embrace.

“Mmmh…” Courtney snuggled against her, eyes closed. She was fairly certain that she’d never felt better in her life, and she hugged Adore tightly. Maybe too tight, from the way she shifted.

“Sorry,” Courtney whispered, loosening her grip as much as she could bear.

“For what, baby?”

“For-” Courtney’s breath hitched.

She buried her face in Adore’s chest, unable to express the emotions that currently enveloped her. Adore rested a cheek against her head, stroking her bare back. Courtney couldn’t explain why for the life of her, but suddenly, there was a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut.

“Don’t let go.”

Adore had always been her best friend, the person she loved most in the world, but now, as perfect and wonderful as everything was, the thought of losing her was about a hundred times scarier. And even though Courtney finally knew that Adore felt the same way she did, part of her was still scared that the intensity of her feelings would scare her off.

“Don’t worry, I got you,” Adore murmured back softly. “I love you.”

It was the gentleness in her voice that finally allowed Courtney to let it all out. A tear began to make its way down Courtney’s cheek, and then another, and another, until she was full on sobbing, with no idea exactly why. It was like the combination of her earlier anxiety and fear and sadness and anger had catalyzed with the ecstatic joy and gratitude she was feeling now to create an unstoppable river of emotion, clinging to Adore like she was a life preserver.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m-”

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Adore sniffled, and it was only then that Courtney realized that she was crying too.

What a perfect mess they both were, she thought, and started laughing through her tears, Adore joining in as she rocked her slowly, both of them crying until they were wrung out and exhausted, too tired to move. The last thing Courtney remembered before drifting off was Adore kissing the top of her head and pulling her impossibly close.

-

Adore slept peacefully, maybe better than she had in years, until she was woken by the sweet caress of Courtney’s fingers as she laced and unlaced them with her own, the early morning fog making everything cool and slightly damp, causing them both to burrow deeper into the sleeping bag.

A sleepy smile spread across her face, arm tightening around Courtney’s body, whispering, “Hey there…”

“G’morning,” Courtney murmured back, snuggling against her.

“How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? It’s all a bit hard to believe,” Courtney admitted. “I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up and it’ll all have been a dream.”

“Yeah.” Adore knew exactly what she meant. Things this good just didn’t happen--not to her. She tightened her grip on Courtney’s hand, squeezing her fingers, trying to reassure both of them that it was actually real.

“I do have a question for you, though.”

“Hit me.”

“Do you still think that we shouldn’t live together?” Courtney asked. Her tone was light and playful, but her eyes lowered slightly, and Adore could see that she was actually a bit unsure.

She smiled, shaking her head, pulling her in tight. “No, uh...I think that concern has like...resolved itself.”

“So then...the plan’s back on?” Courtney asked, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

A week ago, Adore wanted to stab her own eyes out every time she thought about them as roommates. But now, she couldn’t think of anything more exciting.

“Plan’s back on. And hey, now we can save even more money by getting a one bedroom,” she said, adding quickly, “If you think that’s something you’d want.”

“Definitely!” Courtney giggled, laying her head back down on Adore’s shoulder.

They sighed, content to just be together, to enjoy the stillness of the dawn and their hearts beating in sync.

They must have drifted off again, because the next thing Adore knew, the sun was high in the sky and Bonnie was rapping on the wooden ladder, calling up to her to get her lazy ass up and come have some breakfast.

She rubbed her eyes, sitting up. “Uh, coming Ma! I’ll be down in a minute!”

“I guess I better go get ready too,” Courtney said softly, gazing up at her.

Adore looked over at her, struck once again by how absolutely beautiful she was. She nodded and leaned over to brush a kiss against her lips.

The rest of the morning was pure chaos. Adore’s aunts had cooked a big breakfast, which of course took ages longer to eat than it should have. Then there was the logistical nightmare of bathroom time. By the time she arrived for the ceremony, she was late, her classmates already lined up in alphabetical order and beginning to walk towards their seats.

She searched the line for Fame and Violet, racing towards them to find her own spot, nerves making her stomach twist itself into knots, the disgusting polyester of her graduation gown making her sweat.

She’d really been hoping to see Courtney before the ceremony began--after all, it was one thing to confess their feelings to each other in private, but how would she act in front of all their friends and classmates, with their families watching from the bleachers? She couldn’t even text her, because they’d been told in no uncertain terms that any phones out would be immediately confiscated. Apparently some people treated high school graduations like some kind of religious ritual.

She barely listened to the speeches. It was clear from the crowd’s laughter that Bob was killing it, and good for him, but she didn’t have the brainpower to keep up with that. Fame kept reaching over both Violet and Valerie Delacruz to stop her nervous hands from tearing apart the orchid she was supposed to hold, but it was no use. By the end of Principal Greene’s speech, it was a pile of scraps in her lap. She brushed the pieces into the grass, sighing, wishing it was over.

Finally, it was time to file across the stage, and Adore knew that it should have been an exciting moment for her, but all she could feel as her family cheered their hearts out was numb apprehension, preparing herself for the worst. She tried to seek out Courtney’s face in the crowd as she stepped off the stage, but unfortunately, she was sitting behind Brent Isaacson, an absolute tank of a football player, and thus completely invisible.

Adore groaned inwardly, knowing that this might be the hardest part of the whole day...sitting back in her seat listening to the names of all the rest of her graduating class as they filed across one by one. With no more orchid to play with, she instead gripped the sides of her folder chair and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Hey…” Fame leaned over (ignoring Violet’s irritated scoff) and whispered, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Adore didn’t bother elaborating, so Fame gave her a pat on the thigh and straightened back up.

She did perk up when they started calling the J names, scanning through the line for Courtney, who looked tan and beautiful in deep scarlet lipstick, hair curled and spilling over her shoulders. Adore sat up as straight as she could, and when their eyes finally met, Courtney’s face broke out into a smile, giving Adore a secret little wave before turning to pay attention to the people directing them across the stage.

It should have made Adore feel better, but instead, it just made her anxiety skyrocket. She clapped for Courtney and then slumped back in her seat, passing the time by trying to think of lyrics to a song she was writing.

And then, at long last, it was over, everyone jumping up, some people throwing their stupid hats (even though they’d been told not to), a frenzy of activity as people hugged and cried and families swarmed down from the bleachers and onto the field with the graduates.

Adore looked around, but in the madness, couldn’t spot her anywhere.

“Can you believe we did it?” Willam was asking, as his arm slung around Violet’s shoulder, as Trinity and Fame squealed and hugged.

Adore’s throat felt a little dry, still scanning the crowd, when she felt someone throwing their arms around her from behind, practically knocking her over.

She laughed, first taking a moment to enjoy Courtney’s arms around her, sighing with relief before turning around and facing her.

“Hi. Congratulations,” she said softly.

“Same,” Courtney whispered back, gazing up into her eyes, hands still on her shoulders.

Adore swallowed, still unsure what to expect, but figured that at least, a hug was safe. She slipped her arms around Courtney’s waist, prepared to pull her in for a hug. But Courtney had other plans, taking Adore by the cheeks and kissing her right on the mouth.

Not just any kiss, but deep and slow, causing all the noise and the mayhem around them to fade away as Adore relished in the feel of her lips, warm and soft. In that moment, all of her panicking seemed insane--because of coursethis was how Courtney would break the news to their friends and family. Of course she wouldn’t care about gossip and prying eyes and snide comments. With that kiss, she was showing Adore yet again that she was number one, that nothing could stop them any longer.

That, as cliché and trite as it was in Principal Greene’s speech, today really was the first day of the rest of their lives.

A giddy laugh slipped from Adore’s lips as they parted, still too wrapped up in each other to pay attention to their friends gaping at them. Adore held Courtney close, giggling softly as she rested a forehead against hers.

“You know people are watching us,” Adore whispered.

“So?” Courtney whispered back, standing up on her tiptoes to press one more kiss to Adore’s lips.

“I told you she was bi!” Fame cried triumphantly, finally causing them to break their eye contact and look over at their friends. “Belli, you owe me five bucks!”

“Excuse me, you placed bets on us?” Adore asked, a hand on her hip. Beside her, Courtney seemed to find it all utterly amusing. “Does that mean you actually discussed this?”

“Yeah, bro,” Pearl said, patting her shoulder. She and Tatianna had apparently made their way over to the group while Adore was distracted by Courtney’s very friendly greeting. “Like...all the time.”

“Well…” Adore glanced over at Courtney, who was leaning a head on her shoulder, grinning from ear to ear, and realized that she couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed.

-

Every time Courtney so much as glanced at Adore, she felt like she was on top of the world. Of course, it was great to be at a graduation party with her family and friends, surrounded by so many people who cared about them both. But she would be lying if she said that anyone there made her feel half as excited as Adore’s hand in hers.

To anyone watching, she probably looked like a clingy mess, barely letting go of Adore’s hand, leaning against her shoulder, putting an arm around her waist, kissing her at every opportunity.

When she broke away for a few minutes to pose for family photos, Courtney felt a little ridiculous for missing her so much. She stood with some of her own family, making small talk about her summer plans, glancing over at Adore longingly every three seconds, waiting for her to come back.

Willam chose that moment to approach her, slinging an arm around her waist and asking, “What the fuck, cheerleader? I tell you my dick sucking secrets and now you're going to the dark side? Hope you have fun eating pussy.”

“Hi, Willam.” Courtney smiled sweetly at him, then said, “This is my grandmother, Muriel. Grandma, this is my friend Willam.”

Willam’s eyes widened and he backed away slowly, Muriel just shaking her head and muttering about kids these days and their filthy mouths. Courtney laughed to herself, eyes lighting up when she saw that Adore was finally heading back in her direction throwing her arms around her as if she’d been away at war for years.

“Hi,” Adore said, laughing as Courtney hugged her. “Missed me, huh?”

“Yes,” Courtney said, nuzzling into her neck.

Muriel cleared her throat, and Adore whispered, “Grandma’s not amused.”

“Yeah, what else is new?” Courtney whispered back, and they both giggled.

-

“Hey, there you are…” Pearl said, walking over to where Violet was sitting on Adore’s front steps, away from the party. She’d been searching for a place to smoke a cigarette, and when she spotted her, realized that she’d been absent for ages. “What’s up?”

“Nothing…”

“Oh yeah?” Pearl lit up, then slid into the step below her, looking up at her sullen face. “Seems like something.”

“Pearl, just…”

“What?”

“Go away,” Violet grumbled.

“Seriously, what’s wrong? Today’s supposed to be a happy day. No more high school!” Pearl pumped her fist in the air, lowering it slowly when she saw how unamused Violet was.

“Yeah, it’s great. I’m great. And it’s totally awesome that Adore’s tragic unrequited love for her best friend ended perfectly, while mine ended in disaster.” Violet kicked a stone off the step.

“You know-” Pearl began, but Violet cut her off.

“I don’t want to hear it, Pearl! I’m allowed to be fucking mad that she got everything she wanted and I got nothing! So don’t tell me that I should be celebrating, because I don’t fucking feel like it!”

Pearl held up her hands. “Actually, I was gonna say that I get it.”

Violet paused, eyes narrowing, still slightly out of breath from her rant, and asked, “You were?”

“Yeah. I mean, if life was fair, you’d have been rewarded for being brave enough to tell Fame how you felt all along.”

“Hmmph.”

“But also...you know, they just hooked up last night. It could still end in disaster.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Violet demanded, eyes narrowed even more.

“I dunno...did it?”

“No.”

“Then no.”

Violet groaned, leaning back on her elbows. “This fucking sucks.”

“Yeah.” Pearl took one last drag of her cigarette before dropping it on the bricks, putting it out with the toe of her boot. “But, you know, you could look on the bright side.”

“Oh yeah? What’s the bright side, Polly-fucking-anna?”

“Now that you know for sure that nothing will happen with Fame, it frees you up to explore other...romantic opportunities.”

Violet snorted. “Oh yeah, like who? You?”

“You could do worse, you know.”

Violet stared at her for a few seconds, and Pearl thought there was a chance that she’d shove her off the steps, or laugh, or get even more annoyed than she already was. Instead, she shrugged.

“Alright.”

“Yeah? Really?”

“One date won’t kill me, right?”

Pearl grinned at her, shaking her head. “You won’t regret it.”

“I already do,” Violet retorted, with an exaggerated eye roll, only the light in her eyes and the slight quirk of her lips betraying her perfectly ironic tone.

-

“Augh, you bitch!” Adore shrieked, and Courtney laughed, fluttering her lashes innocently, pretending like she’d only gotten the frosting on Adore’s cheek by accident while giving her a bite of her red velvet cupcake.

“Oops, sorry,” Courtney said, licking the frosting off her own fingers as Adore tackled her onto the picnic blanket, both of them laughing happily.

“You guys are so cute,” Fame declared.

“Yeah, it’s disgusting,” Trinity added drily, and Tatianna laughed.

Courtney gazed up at Adore, about to go in for another kiss, when she stopped cold, Adore’s face stricken with guilt, pushing her off. Courtney turned in the direction where she was looking, and felt a lump in her throat.

Roy.

In Courtney’s ecstatic joy, she’d nearly forgotten about how awful their break-up had been--a mere two days earlier--but suddenly it all came rushing back, her pulse racing and stomach clenching.

“Shit,” she whispered softly, biting her lip.

She was frankly a bit surprised to see him here. From the look on his face when he’d stormed away, she’d expected for him to keep his distance for a long, long time.

“Are you gonna go talk to him?” Adore asked.

“Um…” Courtney knew she should, but she couldn’t will her limbs to move at the moment.

“You should talk to him,” Adore said firmly, taking the plate out of her hands. “I’ll save your cupcake.”

“Thanks, that was my number one concern right now,” Courtney said drily, and Adore chuckled.

“Stop stalling. Go ahead.”

Courtney heaved a sigh and stood up, brushing some crumbs off her skirt and walking slowly to the edge of the yard where Roy stood. The guilt made her stomach twist into knots, wondering what he would say, whether he was still so angry at her. She kept her eyes down, unable to look directly into his face, for fear of seeing that hatred on his face where once it had been nothing but love.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” he replied, seeming about as uncomfortable as she felt, shifting from one foot to the other. “Uh...congrats.”

“Thanks.”

There was a long pause, things more awkward between them than they’d ever been, before both of them began to speak at once.

“How are you-”

“Have you decided-”

They stopped, at the same time, Courtney daring to look up into his brown eyes for the first time, adding a sincere, “I’m sorry.”

Roy nodded, kicked at the edge of the grass.

“I really am,” she said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Courtney bit her lip, offering a gentle, “You’re gonna find someone better than me, you know.”

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” Roy replied, a wry smile on his face that finally gave Courtney some hope.

“Um...do you want something to eat?”

“No thanks. I just came by to say congratulations and…” he sighed, letting out a sad little chuckle. “Actually, I’m not totally sure why I came. A glutton for punishment, I guess.”

“Okay.” Courtney swallowed, the lump growing in her throat. “I’m really-”

“I’ll see you around, Court.” He turned to leave.

“Wait!” Courtney sniffled, eyes misty, as he turned back towards her. She stepped forward, knowing she needed to say something but at a complete loss for what. This was the person who’d been there for her through thick and thin for years. It just didn’t seem right to let him go without telling him how much she was going to miss him. But saying that, or even telling him the truth--that she would always, always love him--it suddenly seemed selfish. She didn’t have a right to unburden herself to him, not anymore. She would have to carry this particular burden alone.

“Yeah?”

“I just...do you think…” Courtney chewed on her lip, trying to stop the tears threatening to leak from her eyes. “Do you think we’ll ever be friends again?”

Roy was silent for a moment, and Courtney immediately regretted what she’d said. It seemed insane to think that after everything she put him through, she was even entitled to his friendship.

“I’m sorry, I just-” she stopped, voice breaking, realizing that there was probably nothing she could say to make things better.

“No, I get it,” he said, once again showing her kindness that she didn’t deserve. “I just...I don’t know. Maybe.”

She nodded hopefully, grateful for the ‘maybe,’ knowing that it was really the most she could ask for at the moment.

“Well, um…” Roy cleared his throat. “Have a good summer.”

“Yeah, you too.”

She stood there for awhile, watching him go, waiting until he got into his car and drove down the block before turning and heading back to Adore and the others, collapsing onto the picnic blanket with a groan.

“Was it awful?” Adore asked, letting Courtney settle with a head in her lap.

“Mmhmm.” Courtney pressed her cheek against Adore’s thigh, eyes closed, trying to think of all the things that she had to be grateful for at the moment. The scent of fresh-cut grass. The warm summer day. Adore’s hands in her hair, fingers running through the strands without Courtney even having to ask.

She knew she’d feel guilty about Roy for a long time--maybe forever. But as she opened her eyes and saw Adore gazing down at her, the bleached parts of her faded lavender hair lit up by the dappled sunlight filtering in through the trees above, she also knew that she’d done the right thing for all of them, as hard as it was.

Adore seemed to read her mind, a smile pulling on her full lips as she bent down to brush a kiss against Courtney’s forehead.

-

Adore strummed lightly on her guitar, softly picking out a melody as she watched Courtney pour over a huge selection of guidebooks and maps, armed with multicolored highlighters and post-its. The evening sun slanted in through the window, giving her a golden, ethereal glow that contrasted sharply with her mundane task of selecting attractions and routes for their road trip next week. Adore was certain that no one in history had ever looked so beautiful sticking post-its in a guide book or unfolding a map.

If it was up to Adore, she’d just start driving and wing it, but Courtney was taking the planning part very seriously, considering every road and making sure every detail would be perfect. She’d even scheduled in time for “spontaneous fun” so that they could have some days of just fucking around the way Adore wanted. The careful consideration was a sign of how much it mattered to her, and besides that, Adore found her serious planning face far too cute to waste her breath arguing.

“Look, if we take the pink route down,” Courtney said, tracing it along the map with her finger, “Then we can hit up the El Chorro Hot Springs on the way to Cabo.”

“Sounds great,” Adore said.

“And then we can do the blue route on the way back, see? We’ll go through La Paz both ways, so we can either do it before or after. Maybe after is better, so we know how much time we can stay?” She tapped a highlighter against her chin, considering the options.

“Awesome.” A lazy grin spread across Adore’s face as Courtney looked up, head tilted.

“Are you even listening?” she asked, brow arched, a look of amusement tinged with mild exasperation flashing across her face.

“Sort of,” Adore admitted. “But I trust you. There’s really only one thing I care about on this trip, anyway.”

“Zip-lining in Las Cañadas?” Courtney asked, holding up a pamphlet.

“No.”

Adore set down her guitar, then reached out and grasped Courtney by the wrist, pulling her over into her lap. Courtney giggled, delighted, nuzzling her nose and then kissing her gently.

“Playa del Amor?” Courtney then guessed, eyes shining.

“No,” Adore said again, shaking her head. She trailed her lips along Courtney’s jaw to her pulse point, where her teeth gently nipped at the sensitive flesh before licking her softly, making Courtney shiver.

“The rock paintings in Sierra de San Fran-” she stopped talking with a short gasp as Adore began to suck, her fingers tightening in her hair.

“Give up?” Adore whispered, feeling her nod, the pride of making her melt so quickly making Adore’s heart race. She lifted her head, looking straight into Courtney’s now glazed-over eyes to firmly say, “I don’t really care where we go, or what we do. I just care about being with you. Without having to pretend that I don’t...fucking love every inch of you.”

Adore had no doubt that it would be a great trip. How could it not be? The two of them frolicking on beaches, splashing in the warm water while ocean breezes whipped their hair around. She could already taste the salty kisses and feel the sand between their toes. She could imagine getting naughty while rubbing sunscreen on each other’s backs, and sharing dripping ice cream cones.

She didn’t even care that Courtney was going to make her hike on dusty trails and visit coldly air-conditioned museums. Those awful hikes would only make it more satisfying to curl up together at the end of the night. And in the museums, they could hold hands, fingers laced together, the cool air giving them an excuse to stand closer together.

All of it would be perfect, no matter what roads they drove along or what beachside motels they stopped in for the night. Because they’d be together, finally together, making Adore’s wildest dreams come true.

She continued to gaze at Courtney in the golden light, getting a look of pure love, of singular devotion, in return. It was a look that was both new and deeply familiar, a look that Adore had seen before so many times, but never truly understood until they’d confessed their most vulnerable feelings out loud.

How could she ever, ever have doubted their unbreakable bond? At that moment, she had no idea.

Courtney tilted her chin up, leaning in to press her lips to Adore’s once more, the kiss slow and perfect, a lovely taste of the unhurried summer days ahead.

They finally separated, gazing at each other with mirrored love-stuck expressions, eyes locked--until Courtney caught a glimpse of something over Adore’s shoulder, smile growing even more.

“What?” Adore turned her head, trying to see what captured her attention.

“Our names,” Courtney told her, pointing.

Adore chuckled slightly at the sight, the names they’d carved so many years ago with Bonnie’s screwdriver. The letters were crooked and wonky, scratched into the wood by what were clearly amateurish hands.

Courtney shifted, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a house key. She crawled over to the wall and began scratching something new, next to the original names.

“What are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” she sang, now hard at work.

When the letters started to form in the soft wood, Adore laughed again.

“How come your writing looks just as bad as when you were 8?”

“I never claimed to be an artist,” Courtney said, and Adore slipped her arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder, eyes closed as she breathed in the scent of her, of summer personified. When Courtney was finished, she moved aside to give Adore a better look.

Inside a crude carving of a heart (or at least, what was meant to be a heart) was the message:

AD + CJ 2007

“Do you like it?” Courtney asked, blowing a few strands of hair out of her eyes.

“It’s beautiful,” Adore proclaimed. And it was--imperfect, messy letters that Adore wouldn’t trade for anything, because it was them. She knew, looking at it, that she’d always treasure it, this permanent reminder of their love and hope and boundless joy.

“You’re beautiful,” Courtney countered with a soft kiss to her cheek.

Adore smiled at her.

Again.

Her face hurt from all the smiling.

Courtney rested her forearms on Adore’s shoulders, a matching smile spread across her face, before asking, “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking...that our lives are gonna be awesome.”

“Obviously,” Courtney giggled, leaning forward to kiss her again.

Adore sighed happily into the kiss, then pulled back to look into her eyes, seeing the rosy, golden light of the sunset reflected back at her. More than that, she saw all the sunsets they were going to share together: this summer, this year, and beyond.

She’d never considered herself an optimist, not even close. But today, tonight, all she could see was a life of endless bliss stretched out before her.

The best part, though, was that it was already happening. Their beautiful life of love and joy and excitement had begun; she didn’t have to wait another second for it to start.

*

A/N 2: That’s all…for now. A sequel may be in the works. 👀 XOXOXOXO

[sunshinejihyun]

The Night I’ve Been Waiting For || Zen Ryu

Author’s note: I wrote this for @mysmessengerdiscord​‘s Apple-y Ever After event. I didn’t use a prompt from it, but it’s still fall/halloween themed and I have another fic coming out that will be using a prompt supplied. 

The costume choices were heavily inspired by Bonnie and Clyde the Musical and I stole this title from a line in the song How ‘Bout a Dance.

Summary: A costumed Halloween fundraiser throws Zen and MC into some emotional turmoil

Word Count: 2,255

Masterlist

When Jumin Han announced that he was going to be throwing a Halloween fundraiser, you and your best friend, Zen started planning your costumes. For as long as you had known him, you and Zen had always dressed up together for Halloween, you guys shared a favorite holiday after all, why wouldn’t you? When you both first met, you went as countless pairs: Mr. and Mrs. Incredible, Woody and Buzz, Eric and Ariel, ect. As you became closer, you both still dressed in pairs but made them more creative. All your friends loved to bring up the time you guys went as Peter Pan and his shadow, Zen being the shadow since he was so much taller than you.

“So I was thinking this year that we went as a silent movie couple? Wear all black and white and paint our faces and hands white as well?” You caught up with Zen one night before walking into a get together at Saeyoung’s house.

“Or maybe Ant-Man and The Wasp? I think that would be really cool and I’d look amazing in that costume.” Zen said, swagger dripping from his words. He turned his phone towards you to show you costumes that you both could order off of Amazon.

Sighing, you both stopped outside of the bunker’s front door and texted Yoosung asking to be  let in. “I don’t know, Zen. Money’s tight for the both of us right now. At least with my idea you and I could wear stuff we already own and just buy the body paint.”

“We always do what you want to do, MC. Can’t we do what I want to do for one year? I’ll even buy your costume and you can pay me back when you want.” Zen was rubbing his upper arm, something he did when he was anxious, which wasn’t often.

Grabbing his hand, you smiled softly at him. “I don’t think I want to do that. I’d feel really bad.”

“Then maybe I can just ask Jaehee if she’ll match with me instead.” Zen said, glancing at the dark haired woman as the door swung open. You felt your insides clench slightly. You’ve been picking up lately that Zen might be interested in Jaehee and every time you thought of that, you felt a pang of jealousy in your stomach. You were sure it was only because if Zen started dating Jaehee, he wouldn’t have as much time to hang out with you. Although, the rest of your friends knew the real reason you were jealous: you loved Zen and couldn’t bear the thought of him seeing someone else.

“Uh yeah..” you trailed off spotting Saeyoung sprawled across the couch. “I think I will ask Saeyoung if you don’t mind then.”

Zen looked taken aback for a moment before plastering a smile on his face. “Good idea. I’m gonna go catch up with Jaehee but I’ll see you later?” It wasn’t a question that Zen usually asked. You and him were always together. But with the halloween costume debacle, he didn’t know what to expect.

“Um, sure. Maybe. I’ll text you!” You said, anxious to get away. You felt like you were going to pass out, your head was swimming and it was getting harder to concentrate on what you were doing.

Zen cast his eyes down and turned to your shared group of friends milling about, smiling softly as he saw Jaehee waiving him over. You watched him walk away and ignored how you felt like a piece of you was leaving with him. Sitting down next to Saeyoung, you put on a forced smile as he greeted you. “How’s your day been so far?”

“It’s been okay. Hey, so Jumin’s halloween fundraiser? Have you thought about matching costumes with anyone yet?” Saeyoung looked startled and you weren’t surprised. You and him have always been a part of the RFA but were never super close; it has always been you and Zen.

“I mean, not really. Yoosung and I will probably put something together last minute if I can’t find someone else.” When he said that, Saeyoung coughed nervously. “I assume you and Zen are matching this year?”

Shaking your head you looked pointedly at your math partner. “Nah, he’s asking Jaehee to do a Marvel themed costume with him since we couldn’t agree on what to do. I was uh, wondering if maybe you wanted to do a couples costume with me?”

Saeyoung nodded his head eagerly. “I’d love to but I’ll warn you, I’m not super creative so we can really do what you want and I’ll just be happy to be paired with you.”

Blushing you swept a piece of hair away from your face. “What do you mean you’re not creative?  You literally cosplay for fun?” You questioned the man sitting next to you and he shrugged nonchalantly.  “But… Well I was thinking of a couple from an old black and white silent film?”

“That’d be so cool! We’d wear our nicest black and white clothing and then paint our faces and hands with white paint and line our lips with black or grey coloring!”

“That’s exactly what I was going for, this is gonna be great!” You exclaimed turning to the worksheet that was just placed in front of you. “We can meet up later this week before halloween to go buy the paint.”

After work on Friday, Saeyoung picked you up in his fancy car and drove to the nearest costume shop. “Hey I was thinking maybe we could do something other than silent film actors? Maybe something like a classic couple? Maybe Bonnie and Clyde?” Saeyoung said, shifting through some of the costumes. “We could go to the thrift store and get the costumes from there. I’m just not sure I’m feeling a silent film couple.”

You considered Saeyoung’s idea for a moment before agreeing. “Sure, as long as you’re Clyde, I know how you like to dress up sometimes.”

Grinning, Saeyoung grabbed your hand and led you out of the costume shop. “I’d look good as either, but I’ll put you out of the misery of being Clyde since I don’t think you can pull it off.”

“Hey! I’ll let you know that I could be a damn good Clyde if I chose to be! You’d just look really good in a fedora.” Even though he was teasing, you felt your chest ache. Zen wouldn’t have said something like that and you found yourself missing him a little bit more than normal.

Ever since you couldn’t agree on a costume pair, you two had grown apart, he was busy planning a costume with Jaehee and you with Saeyoung, there was nothing to talk about other than your days, but even that only left you with a few short minutes of conversation. So you pushed that pain to the side and focused on where you were currently, trying on long pencil skirts and old fashioned blouses until Saeyoung approved of one of the ones you had picked.

Once he dropped you off at your apartment, you grinned at him through the passenger’s window. “I’m so excited to see how you’ll make the bloodstains look real. I can’t wait. Thanks again for doing this!”

With a faraway look in his eye, Saeyoung waived you off before driving away and you found yourself glancing at your phone to see if there was anything interesting you had missed. No text from Zen. Sighing, you pushed your phone back  in your pocket and headed up the stairs to your apartment, already planning on making some halloween cookies once you got settled.

Saturday night was the night of Jumin’s halloween fundraiser and you were buzzing with excitement, picking nervously at an invisible thread on your costume. Saeyoung had helped you pick out a costume, made some alterations to make it look like there was blood spatter and bullet holes on it and you looked amazing in it but you hadn’t seen his costume at all. He said you’d be surprised though.

When a knock sounded on your front door, you jumped up and opened it to meet Saeyoung in all black. “Hey, uh. Where’s your costume?” Saeyoung escorted you to the car and you were surprised when you looked in the back and saw a cardboard PacMan. “That doesn’t look like Clyde. Saeyoung, what’s going on?”

Saeyoung had a soft smile on his face as he backed out of your driveway and headed towards Jumin’s house. “You’ll see when we get there.”

The rest of the car ride was quiet, leaving you very confused. You had no idea what was going on and you couldn’t be Bonnie without a Clyde, no one would understand.

When you arrived at Jumin’s you got out of the car and patiently waited as Saeyoung put on his cardboard version of PacMan and you both walked into the fundraiser together. “MC!” You were pulled away from Saeyoung as soon as you walked in, Jumin pushing a drink into your hand. “I thought you and Zen weren’t going as a pair this year?”

You furrowed your brow as you took a sip of the punch that had yet to be spiked, most likely by Zen. “We aren’t. I was supposed to match with Saeyoung but he showed up at my door with a PacMan costume today. Now I look like a fool.”

“Evening, Bonnie. Don’t you look wonderful tonight.” You turned around and saw Zen standing in a Clyde Barrow costume, tipping his hat towards you charmingly. Jumin laughed lightly at the blush spreading on your cheeks.

“Mr. Barrow,” you responded, playing along with Zen’s introduction. “Fancy seeing you here in that.”

“Jaehee persuaded me to go as Clyde and said she’d be Bonnie. Much to my surprise, she showed up on my doorstep in a vampire costume.”

“It seems that Saeyoung and Jaehee planned this,” you noted. “Hey look I’m sor-”

“MC, I should apologize. I was a jerk and didn’t take into consideration your feelings about your money situation and what you wanted to do for halloween. Ditching you wasn’t cool.” Zen was rubbing at his arm again and you grabbed his hand, rubbing soothing circles into the palm of it with your thumb.

“Forgotten and forgiven. All that matters is that we’re here now and we ended up matching in damn good costumes, if I do say so myself.” Zen started leaning closer to you, his breath starting to brush over your lips and you felt your heartbeat pick up.

“MC! Zen! They’re about to announce the couple costume winners! You guys should go over because I heard that you two have a good shot. The winners get to choose which charity the money goes to this time!” Yoosung pushed his way through the crowd to get your attention, his purple PacMan costume slightly bent out of shape, and Zen leaned back and cleared his throat, gesturing towards the semi-tipsy blond.

“You heard the man, we should head over there.” Zen grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd, your heart feeling like it was floating over your head as the steady grip of his hand never left yours.

“The winners were voted by the crowd for the couples costume,” Jaehee paused as she pulled out her phone and Zen’s hand squeezed yours a little harder for that second. “Is MC and Zen as Bonnie and Clyde!” Zen pulled you to the front of the crowd so that you both could accept the envelope with the card in it, explaining all the charities that the money you won could go to.

“I suppose I owe you a congratulations, although everyone else’s costumes are boring compared to yours.” Jumin, who was dressed as Doctor Frankenstein, shook both of your hands and you couldn’t wipe the goofy grin off your face. “Did you want to make a speech?”

Zen was notorious for speeches, all of the RFA joked that the only reason he gave them was because he liked to hear his own voice and you weren’t entirely convinced that wasn’t true. “I don’t think so. I think this’ll speak for itself,”

Zen pulled you closer to him and you looked up questioningly at him. “Zen, what are you-”

Your best friend cut you off by placing his lips on yours. Shocked at first, you didn’t know how to react but once you realized what was happening, your arms wound around his neck, accidentally knocking his hat off in the process, and your eyes closed, you fully melted into the kiss. “I’ve been wanting to do that for about as long as I could remember.”

Pressing another kiss to his lips, you played with his hair that was put into a bun to hide under his hat. “I’m glad you did.”

Pulling away from Zen, you turned to all your friends who were watching this interaction quitely. Once they saw you both were done with your small moment, they erupted into cheers. “Finally!” Someone exclaimed and you laughed, bending down to pick up Zen’s fedora off the ground.

Placing it back on his head, he leaned down and kissed your lips again and brushed his fingers across your tinted pink cheeks. “If I haven’t told you already tonight, you look amazing, Bonnie.”

Putting your head in the crook of his neck you smiled, breathing in the scent that was so incredibly Zen that you had no other way to describe it. “You look pretty charming yourself, Clyde.”

[diggorypuff]

Best Lyrics of Reputation and my commentary

Ready for It:

He can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor - My 1950s loving ass is just here for this Burton to this Taylor shit, cause their an OTP

Every love I’ve known in comparison is a faliure - Also a reference in my mind to Burton-Taylor love.

End Game:

I wanna be your A-Team - Just here for the early Ed Sheeran reference ;)

I’ve got some big enemies - idk i like the drama what the hell

Ooo you and me would be a big conversation - Media

I got a reputation that don’t precede me - opposite of the line that taylor cut from gorgeous

I don’t wanna just be another ex love that you don’t wanna see - <3

I don’t wanna miss you like the other girls do - hmmm... i really don’t feel joe vibes listening to this?

I just wanna be drinking on the beach with you all over me - This makes me think of the pics of Tom & Taylor on the beach

I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders - Ed’s singing always gets me and I like the chip on the shoulder trope

The truth is it’s easier to ignore it believe me - Love it

Even when we argue we don’t do it for long - Sounds like me with my friends <3

You understand the good and bad end up in the song - now that sounds like Joe

(Side note if it is all about Joe like she ‘claims’, seems odd but whatever, betcha that Calvin & Tom are so fucking thankful that Joe’s got her so loved up that she can’t even give a shit about their asses and how she thinks they may have wronged her)

All my flaws, paranoias, and insecurities - reference to the image built of Taylor

After the storm something was born - <3

Four words on the tip of my tongue - ???? Four words?

You and me we got big reputations - ... can’t be joe cause when they started dating everyone was legit like Joe who????

And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them - i’d rather it be like about putting them in peoples backs, but i like this too, like she keeps maps of where she puts them after their buried, cause she’ll happily dig them up again if your wrong her, ie Kanye drama

My reputation precedes me - there it is again

I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me - Love this line <3

Your handprints in my soul - <3

I Did Something Bad

I never trust a narcissist but they love me, so I play them like a violin, and I make it look oh so easy - I love it idk

Cause for every lie I tell them they tell me three - wtf love it 

This is how the world works, now all he thinks about is me - LOVE

If a man talks shit then I owe him nothing - reference to kanye’s i made that bitch famous lyrics? and i love it

I don’t regret it one bit cause he had it coming - this song has drilled into the vindictive, slice your throat open side of me??? pls stop

They say I did something bad - <3

And i love the techno sound of it like tear it up

I never trust a playboy but they love me - ;)

So I fly them all around the world and let them think they saved me - ? Taylor who this about?

They never see it coming - ;) devilish

You gotta leave before you get left - heart ripping feel the power

He says don’t throw away a good thing  - idk im torn whether I like this line or not???

If he drops my name then I owe him nothing - Kanye, Calvin, a ton of ppl? 

And if he spends me change then he had it coming - I love the had it coming line makes me think of Cellblock Tango

They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one - Strong line

They got their pitchfork and proof, their receipts and reasons - Receipts -_-

Light me up - I love whenever that term is used

The little bubblier tune change towards the end is magic too

Don’t Blame Me -

 How this is not a Jack Antoff produced tune is beyond me it sounds so much like Waiting Game, whatever the tune is magic

Don’t blame me love made me crazy, and if it doesn’t you ain’t doing it right - I love the passion filled love story goes back to my love of Burton-Taylor, also reminds me of that thread of That’s the Way I Loved You

I’ve been breaking hearts a long time - Love it

They say she’s gone too far this time - this is powerful

And I’m just gonna call you mine, I’m insane but I’m your baby - Playing on the medias stereotype, getting a bit old 

Echoes, love you name inside my mind, halo, hiding my obsession - It’s a good lyric especially the name inside my mind

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace, just to touch your face - I wrote a similar line in a song earlier today before I heard this similar feeling runs deep

If you walk away, I'd beg you on my knees to stay - playing on the damsel in distress vibe again, also getting a bit old

Delicate

This ain’t for the best, my reputations never been worse - I love the my reputations never been worse line <3

Oh damn, never seen that color blue - Love it

Is it cool that I said all that, Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate - Fresh love, and I like it cause I get

Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate - I feel like this is about writing a song about someone, like is it too soon to write a song about this yet, not in a bad way!!!

Do the girls back home touch you like I do? - Sexy line, hot

Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs - Line reminds me of ‘ Sounded like footsteps on my stairs’ from If This Was a Movie. Also reminds me of All Too Well and the ‘down the stairs you were there I remember it all too well’ cause you know I’ll look for any reason to mention the power song

Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share - ??? what’s this about

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? - <3

Sometimes when I look into your eyes, I pretend you're mine, all the damn time -  LOVE IT

Look What You Made Me Do

I’ve fallen out of love with the beat but it is still lit

But I got smarter I got harder in the nick of time - It’s strong and give me power

Honey I rose up from the dead I do it all time - See above

I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined, I check it once, then I check it twice - See above, also it’s vicious and I live for it

Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours - Kitty got claws

I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me - Makes me grin with evil intentions

I’m sorry, the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now" "Why?" "Oh, 'cause she's dead!" - Maniacal laughter like Yzma as the cat in Emperorers New Groove

Below the lines that I’m not here for anymore

You ask me for a place to sleep,locked me out and threw a feast - idk? just eye roll?

The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama, but not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma - again just done with it

So it Goes...

I'm yours to keep and I'm yours to lose - Cool 

You know I'm not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you - ;)

Met you in a bar, All eyes on me, your illusion is, All eyes on us - Makes me think of This is What You Came For, so I’m thinking this is a Calvin dig, for him being a intimidated by her success

I make all your grey days clear and wear you like a necklace - This whole song I’m like idek if this is good or not, this is my least fav song on the album

I'm so chill, but you make me jealous - Girl we’re cool, but when have you ever been chill, and you’ve always been jelly?

Come here, dressed in black now - Oooh reputation era, bad ass taylor coming in, having her emo dressing in all black phase coming in XD

Scratches down your back now - Rawr sexy

Gorgeous

You should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk - Making fun of Joe’s British accent ;)

And I got a boyfriend he’s older than us he’s in the club doing I don’t know what - Tom? Calvin??? Who knows.

Whiskey on ice, sunset and vine, you’ve ruined my life by not being mine - I get it 

You’re so gorgeous, I can’t say anything to your face, cause look at your face - Again I feel it

You should take it as a compliment that I’m talking to everyone here but you - Agreed

If you got a girlfriend, I’m jealous of her, but if you’re single it’s actually worse - Honestly yes, cause if you got a girlfriend, Ima be good cause I’m a Jackie not a Marilyn, but if you don’t omg I’m sorry I can’t stop it

You’re so gorgeous it actually hurts - Yep

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine, I feel like I might sink and drown and die - I’m sinking drowning and dying all at once

Like Joe isn’t really attractive to me but I’m glad she’s happy and wrote this bop cause I feel it in my soul

Getaway Car

The robo voice can go thank you

It was the best of times the worst of crimes - Love it already

I struck a match and blew your mind, but I didn’t mean it, and you didn’t see it - <3

The tires were black, the lies were white, and shades of gray in candle light - WHY DO I ENJOY THIS?

I wanted to leave him, but I needed a reason - IS JOE THE REASON? Okay love, but also come on if you wanna leave him, leave him for you!

X marks the spot where we fell apart, he poisoned the well, I was lying to myself - I love it so much and the beat??!?

I knew from the first old fashioned we were cursed, we never had a shot, shot, shot in the dark - Honestly can’t tell if this is her being like been on Joe for the longest time wanted to kick all the boys to curb moment I saw him shit, or whether it’s just her telling one of her made up love stories tied to the truth??? Like this is just about Bonnie and Clyde sorta and she’s just tying it to this.

You were driving the get away car, we were flying but we never get far - BOP BOP BOP

Don't pretend it's such a mystery think about the place where you first met me-And where exactly is that Taylor we’d all like to know, WHERE, WHEN, AND HOW DID YOU REALLY MEET JOE EXPLAIN

We're ridin' in a getaway car there were sirens in the beat of your heart - <3

Shoulda know I'd be the first to leave - Love

While he was runnin' after us, I was screamin', "go, go, go!" - LOVE LOVE LOVE

But with three of us, honey, it's a side show and a circus ain't a love story and now we're both sorry - Getting all kinds of era refs here

It hit you like a shotgun shot in the heart - Dead

I'm in a getaway car,I left you in a motel bar, put the money in the bag and I stole the keys that was the last time you ever saw me - This whole line is killer and I love it

King of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own,I made up my mind, I'm better off bein' alone - Love it

We met a few weeks ago - Idk but I like this single line

So prove to me I'm your American Queen and you move to me like I'm a Motown beat - I get American Boy vibes from this

Cause all the boys and their expensive cars, with their Range Rovers and their Jaguars, never took me quite where you do - All I can think about is Harry’s Range Rover, and Tom in the Jaguar commercials, and lol jaggywires 

Late in the night, the city's asleep your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep - sound of my heart beat

Change my priorities - sweet

Overall song is just eh - second least av

Dancing with Our Hands Tied 

That beginning piano is magic

I, I loved you in secret first sight, yeah, we love without reason - <3

Oh, 25 years old, Oh, how were you to know and my, my love had been frozen - </3

Deep blue, but you painted me golden - powerful

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it, I had a bad feeling - Strong, and heartbreaking

People started talking, putting us through our paces,I knew there was no one in the world who could take it - SEE ABOVE

I hate the chourus 

I, I loved you in spite of, deep fears that the world would divide us - Beautiful

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted - Darling

Swaying as the room burned down, I'd hold you as the water rushes in - All about the idc, and lets keep going even as havoc wreaks 

Third least fav maybe?

Dress

Golden Tattoo - ????

All of this silence and patience, panic, and anticipation, my hands are shaking from holding back from you - Darling and sexy at the same time also come on Taylor just jump his bones!

I don't want you like a best friend - Did anyone not know this?

Only bought this dress on you could take it off, take it off, carve your name into my bedpost - Sexy, also still hear carve you name into my nipples XD

And if I get burned, at least we were electrified - Cool, but if you get burned you’re gonna be pissed

Nights back when you met me your buzzcut, and my hair bleed - Hair bleeds??

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me - <3

Flash back to my mistakes,my rebounds, my earthquakes - Pain

Even in my worst nights, you saw the truth of me - <3

Don’t like the high pitch of the song, everyone built it up so it fell flat 

Fourth least fav maybe???

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Feeling so Gatsby for that whole year - BOP

So why'd you have to rain on my parade? -  BOP

This is why we can’t have nice things, cause you break them, I have to take them away - !!!!!

It was so nice being friends again, there I was, giving you a second chance, but then you stabbed my back - KANYE KANYE KANYE

And therein lies the issue, friends don't try to trick you, get you on the phone and mind-twist you, and so I took an axe to a mended fence - HOT HOT HOT, I really want an axe to swing

But I'm not the only friend you've lost lately, if only you weren't so shady - grinning cuz Jay-Z

Here's a toast to my real friends,they don't care about that he-said-she-said - POWERFUL, makes me think of Taylor’s You Belong With Me Shirt in LWYMMD

And here's to my baby he ain't reading what they call me lately - Getting a lil tired of this her BABY, all songs are about Joe, JOE, JOE, JOE okay we get it, glad you happy, calm down 

And here's to my momma had to listen to all this drama - My favorite part idk why

And here's to you cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do haha, I can't even say it with a straight face - ;) I it’s funny, idek how to feel cuz im like oh god but also HYSTARICAL??

Not for the siren sounds, but also it’s lit and a secret fav?

Call it What You Want

THIS SONG IS MY BABY!!

My castle crumbled overnight, I brought a knife to a gunfight - <3

They took the crown but it’s alright - </3

All the liars are calling me one, nobodies heard from me for months - 0.0

I’m doing better than I ever was - Happy for her

My babies fit like a daydream, walking with his head down, I’m the one he’s walking to - <3 :) love it, and she used the British term fit XD

My babies fly like a jetstream, high above the whole scene, loves me like I’m brand new - Beautiful

All my flowers grew back as thorns, windows boarded up after the storm -  The afterward to Clean

He built a fire just to keep me warm - Bonfire imagery gets me

They fade to nothing when I look at him - <3

And I know I make the same mistakes everytime, bridges burn, I never learn - POWERFUL ADMITTING IT

At least I did one thing right - <3

I’m laughing with my lover making forts under covers - <3 :)

Trust him like a brother - TRUST TRUST TRUST GETS ME

I want to wear his initial on chain round my neck, not because he owns me, but cause he really knows me - UGH I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT

Which is more than they can say - <3

I recall late November, holding my breath slowly I said, you don’t need to save me, but would you runaway with me, yes - <3 LOVE LIKE THIS IS KILLING ME

New Years Day

Her voice is so sweet and dewey here and I love it, but everyone hyped it up and so it fell a lil flat on me imagery is great tho

Don’t read the last page, but I stay when you’re lost and I’m scared and you’re turning away - <3 <3 <3

I want your midnights - <3

You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi - Eh it’s okay, sweet???

I can tell it’s gonna be a long road - LONG GOOD ROAD

If you strike out and you’re crawling home - Strong supportive

When it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes - AGAIN SUPPORTIVE LOVE

Hold on to the memories, they will hold onto you - Strong strong strong anything with the word memories gets me everytime

Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere - CRYING HERE

You and me forevermore - I hope <3

[cvddly-blog1]

"Hello in there…" It's too dark to see properly, but Peace could have sworn she heard music coming from the Planetarium.

.sister location meme. (accepting)

                  The animatronic watched the human girl closely as she entered          his Planetarium, making sure the yellow lights in his eyes were dimmed          so she wouldn’t notice him yet. (However, the soft music was still em         anating from his mouth; at least it had enough range to fill the entire          room, so that hopefully she couldn’t pinpoint where it was originating          from.)

                  While the fox had heard of this girl already from Cuddle Bonnie,          that didn’t mean he had to outright make his presence known to her.          She was a kid, yes, but a bit older than some of the kids he was used          to…so he was hesitant. After a few moments of letting the music fill          the silence he shut it off, yellow gaze brightening as he stepped closer–          But only a little bit. He wanted to keep some distance between them          until he got…used to her.

                  “…Hello. Sorry for the…obscurity. I’m not used to visitors after          hours.”

[twilight-deviant]

More on the journal (that's the main mystery for me), ok so I'm assuming Lucy came back in time, because how would Flynn know to go to her, he wouldn't have known that she wrote it, or even who she was. But why did she choose Flynn? Present Lucy only knew about him because he was following future Lucy's journal. So what made future Lucy choose Flynn in the first place? Because of the journal and meeting future Lucy, he knows so much about Lucy but she knows nothing about him/ them together.

First off, I condemn and rebuke any theory that Flynn went to the future and got the journal from Lucy there. Good lord, guys. I can break out so much rationalization against this, but let me just leave it at the very simple fact that he’s already reading the journal in the van before he steals the Mothership and begins traveling through time. Okay?! Just stop. Lucy came from the future and gave it to him. End of story. Zip it. I will make you stand in the corner.

Listen though. Flynn acting on the advice of the journal has always been a paradox, no matter how he got it. He can’t follow the journal if Lucy hasn’t written the journal yet and won’t write the journal unless Flynn has the journal to start their adventures. Geeeeeeeez. So… if you want the best explanation I can come up with, buckle up for another one of my crazy theories, kids.

There is some foremost existing timeline they have completely erased. No one remembers it. Timeline A or Timeline 0, whatever you want to call it. In this reality, the journal does not exist. Not yet anyway. Lucy will write it within the natural flow of time. So where does that leave Flynn? He doesn’t have the journal to tell him what to do.

Let’s just go with what we know but remove the journal from the equation. In the course of his job with the NSA, Flynn was assigned to investigate some corporate financials and suspicious money transfers. It was well hidden, but he broke the encryption on it because my son is so smart and please don’t forget he’s very good with computers. He found out that some organization called Rittenhouse was funding Connor Mason to build a time machine. Then they try to kill him, etc. We know what happens there. In our timeline, somewhere within two years, he receives the journal and knows what to do. But what would happen if he didn’t? He still knows about Rittenhouse. He still knows Connor Mason has a time machine. So… wouldn’t he want to hijack it, go back in time, and save his family? Or die trying.

And before he ever met Flynn, Anthony had doubts about the entire time machine project because of Rittenhouse’s plans for it. He has known about and feared Rittenhouse at least since helping Emma fake her death. He knows they are a powerful and very real threat. I can’t really fill in the blank here, but somehow the two of them met. I suppose the most likely scenario is Flynn did reconnaissance and discovered that Anthony was the project manager and their best pilot. Knowing Flynn’s desperation to save his family, it is so not outlandish to think that after Anthony left work one day, Flynn tried to kidnap him or threaten his family. He tried to make Anthony take him back to 2014 and save his family. But Anthony tells him that’s not possible, and they eventually come to a mutual understanding that Rittenhouse being eradicated solves both their problems.

There is a very real chance that this, in Timeline 0, did not happen in 2016. It might have taken Flynn much longer to come up with a plan. But eventually, with Anthony’s help, they did steal the Mothership. There’s no reason why they couldn’t. They can still do that without the journal. And everything else falls right into place. The government tries to stop Flynn. Rufus still has to be the pilot of the Lifeboat. Because of Cahill, Lucy is still the historian. And sure, because of his impressive dossier, Wyatt is still the soldier.

The biggest difference is Flynn doesn’t have a plan. He doesn’t know where to go. And geez, I don’t even know how he would make decisions. I’m sure Anthony knew a little about Rittenhouse. Maybe all they needed was one historical example (Lucy guessed McCarthy was Rittenhouse) and from there they followed every other thread it implicated. Flynn is very good at it. Watch him go from Bonnie’s key to Arnold’s letter to David Rittenhouse. From Lindbergh’s interrogation to Charvet to the mayor of Chicago to McCarthy to the summit. All this man needs is a starting line.

Lucy’s journal is written from the perspective of this timeline even though it no longer exists. It has to be, right? Because when we see Flynn follow the journal, he is acting out of order, jumping around to whatever time he thinks will be most advantageous. He isn’t adhering to the chronology of her writing. Quite often he’s open to the middle of the book. If the series occurred in the same order as the theoretical Timeline 0, Flynn would open the journal at the front cover and follow through that way, page after page, 1937 to 1865 to 1962, etc. That would be the order in the book. And the way Lucy describes things in the journal is much more firsthand. When Flynn tears pages out for her, she describes events she learned about and recorded in her journal. It isn’t something she found out about because it was in the journal and she read it. She experienced it first. You want further proof? Okay. Give me a moment. This is going to get confusing. I can barely conceptualize it in my own head. Okay. If… the Lucy who gives Flynn the journal was our Lucy and not from Timeline 0, the past would already be different. Everything they’ve changed, like an unknown gunman shooting Lincoln, would be in the history books at the beginning of the series. It is the only history Lucy would have ever known. Because they would be existing in an endless cycle where they have already altered the past. Lucy traveling from the future to give Flynn her journal means she has already traveled to, for instance, Washington DC and listened to the Watergate Tape. All of Lucy’s experiences in the journal have happened. They have already changed the past, their past. So how would that not affect the series and the history we and Lucy are familiar with? An entirely new timeline would have to be created, one in which they have not begun to interfere yet. It breaks the cycle by changing a variable. I apologize now because I do not think I can explain that any better. Even I’m confused, but I know I’m right.Anyway, per their mission, the team tracks down Flynn and tries to stop him. A lot of our known events still happen. Lucy finds out her father is Rittenhouse, for example. And then, somewhere along the way, Flynn and Lucy join sides. Eventually, Lucy writes the journal. For the first time.So. Lucy from Timeline 0 goes back and gives Flynn her journal before Flynn enacts his own plan, as a boost to help him succeed, I suppose. Give him a headstart against Rittenhouse. And its very existence in the past alters events as they happen. Which is why certain things aren’t recorded or occur differently. Future Lucy giving past Flynn her journal erased Timeline 0 before it ever happened.

Phew.

There you have it, my best explanation to get us out of this paradox. But look at me complying with canon and saying Lucy gave Flynn the journal, thus playing right into that other paradox I’ve already talked about. She couldn’t meet him in the past while coexisting and have Flynn just ignore this contradiction to every rule he later knows and recites! Still dumb. But oh well. Look, I explained why Lucy gave Flynn the journal in the past. She knew him in the future first, in a universe where the journal did not originally exist. Boom.

[readbookywooks]

12. Staying quietly in bed is harder after that. I want to be doing something, finding out more about District 13 or helping in the cause to bring down the Capitol. Instead I sit around stuffing myself with cheese buns and watching Peeta sketch. Haymitch stops by occasionally to bring me news from town, which is always bad. More people being punished or dropping from starvation. Winter has begun to withdraw by the time my foot is deemed usable. My mother gives me exercises to do and lets me walk on my own a bit. I go to sleep one night, determined to go into town the next morning, but I awake to find Venia, Octavia, and Flavius grinning down at me. "Surprise!" they squeal. "We're here early!" After I took that lash in the face, Haymitch got their visit pushed back several months so I could heal up. I wasn't expecting them for another three weeks. But I try to act delighted that my bridal photo shoot is here at last. My mother hung up all the dresses, so they're ready to go, but to be honest, I haven't even tried one on. After the usual histrionics about the deteriorated state of my beauty, they get right down to business. Their biggest concern is my face, although I think my mother did a pretty remarkable job healing it. There's just a pale pink strip across my cheekbone. The whipping's not common knowledge, so I tell them I slipped on the ice and cut it. And then I realize that's my same excuse for hurting my foot, which is going to make walking in high heels a problem. But Flavius, Octavia, and Venia aren't the suspicious types, so I'm safe there. Since I only have to look hairless for a few hours instead of several weeks, I get to be shaved instead of waxed. I still have to soak in a tub of something, but it isn't vile, and we're on to my hair and makeup before I know it. The team, as usual, is full of news, which I usually do my best to tune out. But then Octavia makes a comment that catches my attention. It's a passing remark, really, about how she couldn't get shrimp for a party, but it tugs at me. "Why couldn't you get shrimp? Is it out of season?" I ask. "Oh, Katniss, we haven't been able to get any seafood for weeks!" says Octavia. "You know, because the weather's been so bad in District Four." My mind starts buzzing. No seafood. For weeks. From District 4. The barely concealed rage in the crowd during the Victory Tour. And suddenly I am absolutely sure that District 4 has revolted. I begin to question them casually about what other hardships this winter has brought them. They are not used to want, so any little disruption in supply makes an impact on them. By the time I'm ready to be dressed, their complaints about the difficulty of getting different products - from crabmeat to music chips to ribbons - has given me a sense of which districts might actually be rebelling. Seafood from District 4. Electronic gadgets from District 3. And, of course, fabrics from District 8. The thought of such widespread rebellion has me quivering with fear and excitement. I want to ask them more, but Cinna appears to give me a hug and check my makeup. His attention goes right to the scar on my cheek. Somehow I don't think he believes the slipping-on-the-ice story, but he doesn't question it. He simply adjusts the powder on my face, and what little you can see of the lash mark vanishes. Downstairs, the living room has been cleared and lit for the photo shoot. Effie's having a fine time ordering everybody around, keeping us all on schedule. It's probably a good thing, because there are six gowns and each one requires its own headpiece, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, setting, and lighting. Creamy lace and pink roses and ringlets. Ivory satin and gold tattoos and greenery. A sheath of diamonds and jeweled veil and moonlight. Heavy white silk and sleeves that fall from my wrist to the floor, and pearls. The moment one shot has been approved, we move right into preparing for the next. I feel like dough, being kneaded and reshaped again and again. My mother manages to feed me bits of food and sips of tea while they work on me, but by the time the shoot is over, I'm starving and exhausted. I'm hoping to spend some time with Cinna now, but Effie whisks everybody out the door and I have to make do with the promise of a phone call. Evening has fallen and my foot hurts from all the crazy shoes, so I abandon any thoughts of going into town. Instead I go upstairs and wash away the layers of makeup and conditioners and dyes and then go down to dry my hair by the fire. Prim, who came home from school in time to see the last two dresses, chatters on about them with my mother. They both seem overly happy about the photo shoot. When I fall into bed, I realize it's because they think it means I'm safe. That the Capitol has overlooked my interference with the whipping since no one is going to go to such trouble and expense for someone they plan on killing, anyway. Right. In my nightmare, I'm dressed in the silk bridal gown, but it's torn and muddy. The long sleeves keep getting caught on thorns and branches as I run through the woods. The pack of muttation tributes draws closer and closer until it overcomes me with hot breath and dripping fangs and I scream myself awake. It's too close to dawn to bother trying to get back to sleep. Besides, today I really have to get out and talk to someone. Gale will be unreachable in the mines. But I need Haymitch or Peeta or somebody to share the burden of all that has happened to me since I went to the lake. Fleeing outlaws, electrified fences, an independent District 13, shortages in the Capitol. Everything. I eat breakfast with my mother and Prim and head out in search of a confidant. The air's warm with hopeful hints of spring in it. Spring would be a good time for an uprising, I think. Everyone feels less vulnerable once winter passes. Peeta's not home. I guess he's already gone into town. I'm surprised to see Haymitch moving around his kitchen so early, though. I walk into his house without knocking. I can hear Hazelle upstairs, sweeping the floors of the now-spotless house. Haymitch isn't flat-out drunk, but he doesn't look too steady, either. I guess the rumors about Ripper being back in business are true. I'm thinking maybe I better let him just go to bed, when he suggests a walk to town. Haymitch and I can speak in a kind of shorthand now. In a few minutes I've updated him and he's told me about rumors of uprisings in Districts 7 and 11 as well. If my hunches are right, this would mean almost half the districts have at least attempted to rebel. "Do you still think it won't work here?" I ask. "Not yet. Those other districts, they're much larger. Even if half the people cower in their homes, the rebels stand a chance. Here in Twelve, it's got to be all of us or nothing," he says. I hadn't thought of that. How we lack strength of numbers. "But maybe at some point?" I insist. "Maybe. But we're small, we're weak, and we don't develop nuclear weapons," says Haymitch with a touch of sarcasm. He didn't get too excited over my District 13 story. "What do you think they'll do, Haymitch? To the districts that are rebelling?" I ask. "Well, you've heard what they did in Eight. You've seen what they did here, and that was without provocation," says Haymitch. "If things really do get out of hand, I think they'd have no problem killing off another district, same as they did Thirteen. Make an example of it, you know?" "So you think Thirteen was really destroyed? I mean, Bonnie and Twill were right about the footage of the mocking-jay," I say. "Okay, but what does that prove? Nothing, really. There are plenty of reasons they could be using old footage. Probably it looks more impressive. And it's a lot simpler, isn't it? To just press a few buttons in the editing room than to fly all the way out there and film it?" he says. "The idea that Thirteen has somehow rebounded and the Capitol is ignoring it? That sounds like the kind of rumor desperate people cling to." "I know. I was just hoping," I say. "Exactly. Because you're desperate," says Haymitch. I don't argue because, of course, he's right. Prim comes home from school bubbling over with excitement. The teachers announced there was mandatory programming tonight. "I think it's going to be your photo shoot!" "It can't be, Prim. They only did the pictures yesterday," I tell her. "Well, that's what somebody heard," she says. I'm hoping she's wrong. I haven't had time to prepare Gale for any of this. Since the whipping, I only see him when he comes to the house for my mother to check how he's healing. He's often scheduled seven days a week in the mine. In the few minutes of privacy we've had, with me walking him back to town, I gather that the rumblings of an uprising in 12 have been subdued by Thread's crackdown. He knows I'm not going to run. But he must also know that if we don't revolt in 12, I'm destined to be Peeta's bride. Seeing me lounging around in gorgeous gowns on his television ... what can he do with that? When we gather around the television at seven-thirty, I discover that Prim is right. Sure enough, there's Caesar Flickerman, speaking before a standing-room-only crowd in front of the Training Center, talking to an appreciative crowd about my upcoming nuptials. He introduces Cinna, who became an overnight star with his costumes for me in the Games, and after a minute of good-natured chitchat, we're directed to turn our attention to a giant screen. I see now how they could photograph me yesterday and present the special tonight. Initially, Cinna designed two dozen wedding gowns. Since then, there's been the process of narrowing down the designs, creating the dresses, and choosing the accessories. Apparently, in the Capitol, there were opportunities to vote for your favorites at each stage. This is all culminating with shots of me in the final six dresses, which I'm sure took no time at all to insert in the show. Each shot is met with a huge reaction from the crowd. People screaming and cheering for their favorites, booing the ones they don't like. Having voted, and probably bet on the winner, people are very invested in my wedding gown. It's bizarre to watch when I think how I never even bothered to try one on before the cameras arrived. Caesar announces that interested parties must cast their final vote by noon on the following day. "Let's get Katniss Everdeen to her wedding in style!" he hollers to the crowd. I'm about to shut off the television, but then Caesar is telling us to stay tuned for the other big event of the evening. "That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!" "What will they do?" asks Prim. "It isn't for months yet. We turn to our mother, whose expression is solemn and distant, as if she's remembering something. "It must be the reading of the card." The anthem plays, and my throat tightens with revulsion as President Snow takes the stage. He's followed by a young boy dressed in a white suit, holding a simple wooden box. The anthem ends, and President Snow begins to speak, to remind us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the districts' rebellion. These words could not be more pointed, since I suspect several districts are rebelling right now. President Snow goes on to tell us what happened in the previous Quarter Quells. "On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it." I wonder how that would have felt. Picking the kids who had to go. It is worse, I think, to be turned over by your own neighbors than have your name drawn from the reaping ball. "On the fiftieth anniversary," the president continues, "as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes." I imagine facing a field of forty-seven instead of twenty-three. Worse odds, less hope, and ultimately more dead kids. That was the year Haymitch won... . "I had a friend who went that year," says my mother quietly. "Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned the sweetshop. They gave me her songbird after. A canary." Prim and I exchange a look. It's the first we've ever heard of Maysilee Donner. Maybe because my mother knew we would want to know how she died. "And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," says the president. The little boy in white steps forward, holding out the box as he opens the lid. We can see the tidy, upright rows of yellowed envelopes. Whoever devised the Quarter Quell system had prepared for centuries of Hunger Games. The president removes an envelope clearly marked with a 75. He runs his finger under the flap and pulls out a small square of paper. Without hesitation, he reads, "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors." My mother gives a faint shriek and Prim buries her face in her hands, but I feel more like the people I see in the crowd on television. Slightly baffled. What does it mean? Existing pool of victors? Then I get it, what it means. At least, for me. District 12 only has three existing victors to choose from. Two male. One female ... I am going back into the arena.