#okay at this point it's only vaguely related to my liveblogging cause it's over
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onesidedradiostatic · 10 months ago
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Mamon x Adam is my fav crackship. I hate them both theyre perfect lmao
true they should make out
ALSO I LOVE HOW THERE'S ACTUALLY FUCKING CONTENT IN THE TAG FOR THEM HOLY SHIT LMAO
this is amazing
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chromemuffin · 7 years ago
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Quan Zhi Gao Shou / The King’s Avatar Manhua (Chapters 0-5)
What I really enjoyed right from the start of the animation was the realistic nature of the game and characters. I only play games sporadically myself, and usually handhelds at that, but even I could relate to Ye Xiu’s journey to the top of the new server. I mean, usually you just take for granted that the main character is aiming for the top of something, but it’s difficult to relate to saving the world or leading a gang of misfits across the land fighting monsters. Climbing to the top in a game, however? We’ve probably all tried it in some way or another, even if we failed along the way (I still haven’t completed the National Pokedex in any Pokemon game, ok).
This also could have been stated at the beginning of a review for the whole series, but this is a long one, the novel translations aren’t even complete yet. So it’s here now as a preface.
And now it’s time for my far less composed liveblogging! This is not going to be as detailed as my Shoukoku no Altair one by a long shot, I think I’d collapse of exhaustion before I finished.
Chapter 0: Cause
It is both unnerving and relaxing to not obsess about language nuance like I do when I read Japanese stuff. On the other hand, it feels weird being back to the state of not understanding more than a few words here and there...
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Colored panels are the best. The color (cold tones) to black & white to color (warm tones) back to black & white is a neat contrast.
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I’m honestly really excited to get all these names and teams straight. I watched several groups’ subs for the early episodes and all the names were translated differently, leading me to have no clue who anyone was or which team they belonged to except the currently teamless Ye Xiu lol.
Chapter 1: As we drink, the lute signals to go to war
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Look at that smug smirk. Ye Xiu’s relationship with Su Mucheng is just really nice with how supportive they are of each other.
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Damn it, I said I wasn’t going to go panel-by-panel! But I like the contrast between these two shots. One is as he is turning away, after having reassured Su Mucheng that he will be returning and it really is fine that his old team literally kicked him to the curb. The other is once he is turned away. He seems fine in the first shot, sort of indifferent, while the dark shadow over his eyes in the next panel suggests differently. But he’s not one to complain.
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Unexpected comedy shot lol. I appreciate the life in the internet cafe, everyone excited about Glory and the new server haha. In the animation, it was very quiet when he walked in, and they had to 3D animate it.
“As a female Launcher player, Mucheng never stopped smiling even when she blew up her opponent to pieces... It’s actually quite scary when you think about it.”
haha. He’s more expressive in the manhua. It lets you have these cute little musings in between scenes that the animations never have time for.
lol he just goes and hijacks her account. who does that. “the battle started already so I finished it for you. but don’t worry, I won!” that. isn’t the point.
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Hi scary demon Ye Xiu! Side note: they’re doing a good job giving the background characters different features.
Also, thanks to not looking at the characters for their names, I keep getting Ye Xiu and Ye Qiu mixed up. I...really need to go find out how it’s written.
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Not going to feature all of Chen Guo’s fun expressions, but so far there have been a lot of them and they’re great. (edit for Chen Guo’s name which I derped on and forgot at the time of writing this post. lol the manga doesn’t mention her whole name - Chen Guo - until a few chapters later. I think the other patrons call her ‘Sister Chen’ and the reader finds out her given name when Ye Xiu does. but in the novel, I think the narrative switches over to her at some point, so you find out her full name before Ye Xiu does...)
I love sayings, and how they are so weird when translated literally - Japanese ones are like this, too, because a lot of them are Chinese in origin. My favorite is probably äș€æŻ›ć…Žè§’.
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I hope this is a translation thing because damn, what a way to sugar-coat the truth.
Chapter 2: Since ancient times, how many have returned from war?
I wish I knew the references to classical Chinese poetry/literature, it makes the series 10x more fun when you know the origin of some of their usernames and such.
Ok, overdoing it much, Sun Xiang’s posse? You don’t need to be extra nasty about it to his face.
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I always really liked this expression of his reluctance, this human emotion from a guy who looks rather calm and composed (or sheepish, occasionally) most of the time. He takes things in stride, but here you definitely get the bitterness of his situation.
And now he has to laugh it off with a smile! He does a good job of keeping it together throughout this whole deal though.
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lol what kind of expression is that. “I like working nights!” why the cat face/ears. why. that was such a quick interview lol.
“Actually, we aren’t lacking people, the advert you saw was from a long time ago.”
That’s...actually, interesting. So Chen Guo is hiring him anyways? Or am I missing something in the translation?
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You are a surprisingly funny man, Ye Xiu.
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This is me. (it says ‘Verify faster!’)
lol Ye Xiu looking at the beginner’s guide. I never read the instructions though, even for a complicated games I’m new to, I just sort of jump in and hope I don’t die in the first few stages. Pretty sure the only game I had to actually read the instructions for was Final Fantasy Type-0? It’s difficult getting into a good rhythm without reading the in-game tips for that game...plus, some of the more advanced techniques are hard to pull off.
Chapter 3: Don’t laugh at those who lie drunk on the battlefield
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If I had time, I’d totally make edits, buuut I do not and photoshop is on my other computer. but when did he get those noodles...?
lol and he just outs himself right on the spot.
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That is one dark expression, I love it. The retirement thing is definitely a sore spot for him.
“you’re a professional. but also an amateur.” lol must be so weird to be Ye Xiu
“Don’t fake it, actually you’re not even retired. You didn’t get a spot and got kicked out, right?”
Ouch. Hit it where it hurts, why don’t you. Though she isn’t aware of who he actually is yet. He did indeed get kicked out, and it’s probably worse because he did have a spot previously, he was at the top even.
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Starting avatar! I love the character designs in this series, across the animation and manhua.
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“Suddenly I miss those games that let people pass through each other!”
HOW COULD THEY WITH SO MANY PEOPLE PLAYING. It reminds me of the Sims flailing their arms because you stuck a cabinet in the wrong spot and they can’t get through.
“Such a civilized way to kill monsters, I’m not used to it.”
“This only happens when a new server opens, you’ll definitely wish you can queue again in the future.”
I really like the side comments. I don’t play multiplayer games, but the comments definitely breathe some life into it.
LOL. “How to endure the shame? I was once known as Glory’s textbook level expert and now I have to use a beginner’s guide to do beginner’s quests.” You can feel his soul dying little by little in these panels...
I love how many titles he earned...”Does no commercials”.
And, of course, him trying to reveal who he actually is, only for her not to believe him.
lol this comment: “It’s so hard to play in first person view!” That’s actually how I feel, I dunno, I mostly play handhelds and older games. I flipped out when I tried to play Final Fantasy: Dirge of Cerberus in first person, before I figured out there was actually a third person view...I’m just really lame when it comes to games, ok.
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Ooh, it’s here! The umbrella! What an odd choice of weapon, usually they’re the joke weapons. Well, it’s better than the bus stop sign from Persona 3.
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I’ve read spoilers about who this guy standing behind him is, and I am not ready to actually come across that part in the novel.
Side note: I like the avatar’s design better here than in the animation. Wonder if he changes outfit later on...
Chapter 4: Green Forest’s Sleeping Moon
“Let me help you, I’ll give you the drops as well.” “I’m [a] male.” Lol. I really do love these little dialogues.
I also love the usernames, I really am hopeless with it comes to naming things myself.
Hello, Sleeping Moon! I remember you! Sort of.
I love how Ye Xiu totally has a plan going into this, and his thought process is written out. It’s a mundane detail, but I like it. (I’m the type of person who doesn’t read the instructions provided by the game, but will go look everything up online because regardless if I played the game before or not, I like having a Plan when I go into it...I’m impatient, Shadow of the Colossus is the only game I actually take time to explore.)
The two modes of communication for Glory also make it interesting...Both text and audio. It’s fun having both.
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haha these drawings have so much life in them
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Including these.
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Way to look awesome and dramatic with your umbrella in hand.
lol “You planning to advance into a Cleric? Why don’t you just be our caretaker for good?” dying inside, I tell you, dying inside
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Knowing the spoilers like I do, THIS ISN’T OKAY. no sad flashback scene so early on. c’mon.
I like how Sleeping Moon keeps talking to him like he’s a newbie, too. It’s pretty funny.
Chapter 5: You reap what you sow
Finally, a chapter title I’m familiar with!
The naaames: Sleeping Moon, Just a Passerby, Not Just Cannon Fodder, Lord Grim, and Fallen Sun
I like ‘Just a Passerby’.
Hey, you even get to say some last words after your HP hits 0 haha.
“Don’t you know that if you die in a dungeon in Glory, you can’t come back?!” lol I’m side-eyeing all the other ‘if you die in the game you die in real life’ stories...
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They gave Sleeping Moon some really awesome expressions, gotta say.
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“But your acting isn’t at all convincing.” Actually, this is vaguely terrifying.
Also, I appreciate how Ye Xiu is calling him out on this whole plan and how he meant to cheat everyone while Ye Xiu is basically doing the same. haha
I’m not going to screencap it all, but the sequence of the boss slowly killing Sleeping Moon like the cat it is, and Ye Xiu’s reactions, are gold.
The umbrella is also really cool of course.
And here starts the drama on the 10th server! It’s honestly great, and quite true to real life haha. Well, real life can probably be weirder than even fiction...
AAAND that’s finally it! 5 chapters + the 0 chapter done! Oh geez that took forever...Anyway, I love all the little details the manhua can fit in that the animation can’t and I look forward to reading the novel version of these chapters sometime soon.
onward →
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uniformbravo · 6 years ago
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animorphs liveblogs, this time a marco book so u already know it’s gonna be a party am i Right boys,,,,,
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i read so much goddamn animorphs today and update: marco is, once again, ruining my life,
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this is actually one of the very few books i personally own (out of two to be precise) so i am. Somewhat familiar. vaguely. let’s fuckin.,.., Do this
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[from the back cover of the book]
But Marco's personal stress is causing him to morph into creatures that don't exist.
“marco’s personal stress” this should be...... fun
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My name is Marco. But you can call me "Marco the Mighty." Or "Most Exalted Destroyer of My Pride." You can cower before my mighty thumbs and beg for mercy, but you'll be crushed just the same. For I am the lord of the PlayStation. Pick a game. Any game. Tekken. Duke Nukem. NFL Blitz. Whatever. Practice all you want. I'll still beat you. I'll crush you like Doc Martens crush ants. I'll -
i hate him. ia hhate him so mugjfn
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"I was just watching his show -" Rachel cut me off. "You were watching William Roger Tennant? Marco looking for advice? On what? Coping with shortness?" "I was just channel surfing," I yelled. "That's not the point!
hklJKDJ GOD
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<This bites,> I said. <Why did we get stuck with the Saturday morning shift? I should be asleep right now. Or watching The Powerpuff Girls.>
Confirmed
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<You know why you're here,> Cassie replied. <You switched with Jake so you could watch the South Park marathon last night.> <Yeah, but that was before I knew about The Powerpuff Girls marathon,> I grumbled.
SUPER CONFIRMED
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<Something bothering you, Marco?> Cassie asked. <No, absolutely not.>
jdkdjdsf the avoidance tactics
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And then there’s Euclid.> <Her toy poodle.> <Satan with a perm. Simple commands like "sit," "stay," "heel" all mean the same thing to this dog: Bark at Marco. Jump on Marco. Bite Marco's ankle.>
ffuckign Good Dog
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For forty-five minutes we followed William Roger Tennant up the beach and then back to the compound. For forty-five minutes I vented. Cassie may or may not have listened. Every once in a while, she said <”uh-huh”> or <”bummer.”> By the time Tennant walked back through the gate of the compound, I felt a little better.
ok but i just love this so much like. ive mentioned before how i love cassie and marco and this is just so Good this is a Good Scene
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The first thing to change was my head. It began to shrink. From normal size to the size of a cantaloupe. To grapefruit. To orange. To just slightly bigger than a cherry tomato. <Oh, that's a nice look,> Rachel said. <Now your head finally matches the size of your brain.>
all i want is an animorphs spin off series thats just 100% rachel’s burns on marco they give me so much life
also all i can think about is this pic gkdjlfksdlfkdj
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ok so this book is rly fun, basically it’s like everyone is super fucked up from this war but marco in particular is so super duper fucked rn he’s reached another plane of fucked he’s on a higher tier of emotional distress and it’s messing with his ability to morph, he’s so spectacularly damaged that he’s experiencing it in new and unprecedented ways he’s fucking evolving he’s ascending
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"Cassie?" "Hi. Can I come in?" She didn't wait for me to answer but just sort of pushed her way past me. I followed her back to the living room. She turned off the TV and looked expectantly at me. - "You have something to tell me?" "No." "So why are you here?" "I'm here to listen to you." I laughed. "What, are you a shrink now?" She shrugged. "You said it yourself: We can't exactly go to see counselors, can we?"  "Look, I'm fine." "No, you're not," she said. "Jake bought it, Rachel bought it, but I didn't. Something went wrong. I heard it in your thought-speak. You blew another morph." I sat down. I was sure I'd covered. I was sure. But of course this was Cassie. Cassie who knows what people are feeling about five minutes before they do. "Did you tell Jake?" "No. And I won't." "Why not? What happened to it being everyone's concern?" "Because I want you to know you can trust me. You know, enough to talk to."
god like??? their relationship is just So Good i love that cassie is the one to reach out to marco so consistently and genuinely, the only one to offer that kind of support, because he shoves all his pain away and hides it from everyone else but she sees his truth, insightful cassie, and then actually sets out to do something about it 
because let’s not forget jake, who knows every member of his team inside out and Absolutely knows when marco is having problems, but isn’t the same person as cassie. cassie, who worries for her friends. cassie, who wants to help in any way she can. jake sees an issue like this and analyzes its contribution or detriment in relation to a mission, decides whether it’s worth looking into, and acts accordingly. he simply does whatever is necessary to reach the goal. he doesn’t have the time or energy to go chasing after every member of his team every time they break down, because they’re all broken and they all deal with it differently, and that’s really what it comes down to for him: they deal with it. get it done, and deal with it. no time for anything else, just let everyone fix themselves as they do, and move on to the next thing.
which is such an interesting parallel to cassie’s way of dealing with these things. cassie the empathetic healer, who speaks her mind and confronts the issues everyone else glosses over. it’s such a breath of fresh air to see her enter into the situation with pure intention, to fix, to help. these books give such a feeling of loneliness sometimes, spinning tales of personal conflict and avoidance and silent suffering, especially in the case of marco, who deliberately masks his pain with laughter, pain’s polar opposite. cassie is a force of companionship, of understanding in a place where it’s desperately needed, and i think it’s really refreshing, given everything else that happens constantly around her. it’s just really nice, is all i’m saying
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She ignored my weak attempt at a joke. "And then we found out your mom was still alive. Only she wasn't your mom anymore. Her body had been taken over by a Yeerk. And she was the enemy. Marco, in the space of a few awful months you've gone from believing your mother is dead to almost literally having to try and destroy her." "And you think maybe that's stressful?" I deadpanned. "I think it would have crushed most people," she said. "That mission against her and Visser Three, you were setting her up to take a fall. You were intimately involved with leading Visser One, your mother, into a trap that -" "Shut up! Shut up!" I jerked up off the couch. I had my hands over my ears. Stupid. I took my hands down. They were trembling. "Look, Cassie ..." I started to say with exaggerated calm. But then I forgot what I wanted to say. I could see her. On that mountaintop. Her sudden realization that it was me who had brought her there. Marco. Me. Her son. Her host's son. Not some ruthless Andalite warrior but her own son . . . Visser Three's troops and ships closing in. The cliff giving way. Falling. And later, Rachel had come to me and said that her body could not be found. That maybe she was still alive. And Rachel had understood that she wasn't doing me any favors because it was so much better to know, to know for sure anything, even to know something terrible as long as the torture of uncertainty was over. . . . "What did I do?" I whispered.
im in immediate pain i dont want this get this away from me remove this from my life in the present year of 2016*
he didnt even realize until now, he didn’t even put this together until now he was so focused on every other aspect of the situation that he didn’t even think about anything other than the fact that it was entirely his fault that his mother was possibly dead, he just had too many other things clouding his mind to realize that oh shit if she’s still alive we’re all kind of fucked
he’s usually so conscious of things like that at all times but this particular event fucked him up so good it blocked his perceptiveness, he probably didn’t want to think about it he probably pushed it out of his mind as much as possible so whenever it did manage to surface the only thing he felt was guilt and pain, as in the emotional response rather than the tactical thinking
he doesn’t realize until right now, when cassie confronts him and forces him to think about it, what the facts strung together actually mean for them, five books later this is happening i’m gone knock me tf out
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"Nora and I have been talking about getting married, Marco. But we won't do it without your okay." "Yeah? And what if it's not okay?" I said. I could hardly hear my own voice. He sighed. His eyes turned vacant, distant. The way they'd looked for a large part of the past two years. I hadn't missed that look. I hadn't missed it at all. "Marco, we're a team, you and I. We've been through a lot together. If you say no, I'll accept that." Fine. So it was on me. Great. Typical. Yeah, why not? I'll decide if my dad is happy or not, if my mom is still my mom. I'll decide if she lives or if she dies so that I, the Great Marco, the great cold-blooded Marco can prove how tough I am by leading her into a trap, setting her up ... I felt pain. I was digging my fingernails into the side of my head. I was going to explode. Some artery in my head was going to blow apart. It was too much. Way too much. "I'm out of here," I said. I got up and ran for the door.
re: those last few lines: live footage of me reacting to this entire passage,
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[context: marco messed up a morph in the middle of a mission & is now lost in a half poodle half polar bear morph]
<Come on, Marco,> Cassie encouraged. <It's going to be okay. Remember the mission?> The mission? I poked Tennant's huddled body with my paw. Watched him shrink and shudder. <What's going on, Marco?> Cassie said soothingly. <Talk to me. We're your friends. Talk to us, talk to me and-> <Talk my butt,> Jake snapped. <Marco. Cope. Now. That's an order.> It was like a bucket of ice water dumped on my head. It was like waking up from an intense dream. Fast. Painful. Slowly my mind grasped control. <Jake, he's going through some bad stuff in his life,> Cassie said. <He's stressed. His dad is-> <Cassie, you know I love you and admire you, but be quiet,> Jake said. <You listen to me, Marco. We have zero time for your self-pity. I don't care what your problems are. You deal with this, right now.> I started to shrink. My body deflated like a balloon with a pin-hole. My head, shrinking. Becoming a normal poodle head. <That's not exactly enlightened behavior, Jake,> Cassie shot back, obviously angry. <lf he's having stress-> <Cassie, he's not you, he's not Rachel, he's not even me. He's Marco,> Jake said. <What he needs is to pull his head out of his rear end and remember what he always says.> What I always say? What was he talking about? Jake said, <Life is either tragedy or comedy. Usually it's your choice. You can whine or you can laugh.> I laughed. Laughed in recognition. Oh, yeah. I do say that. I was completely poodle.
Oh How The Turntables Holy Shit
like is it just me or is this super fucked up for jake to do oh my god?? humor is marco’s defense mechanism he uses to ignore his terrible realities and bottle everything up and hide it all away and it’s super unhealthy and cassie recognizes that, so she tries to help him by showing empathy and encouraging him to open up
jake also knows this about marco and and instead uses it to put him back on track on a mission like instead of saying “you can’t bottle up your emotions like this it’s not healthy and it’s obviously causing major problems” he’s like “you better bottle that shit up right this fucking instant or so help me god”
and the thing is it fucking works, marco snaps right out of it like “oh yeah bottling up my emotions why didn’t i think of that lol” and the whole thing just kind of strikes me as Super Fucked Up???? wow
i absolutely love it tho like dont get me wrong im not trying to demonize jake or w/e- it’s just another example of that brutal realism you get with this series because it feels like there should have been some kind of moral lesson about friendship and emotional support at the end of this, like it should have been cassie who managed to get through to marco by being there for him in such a critical moment, but it’s not. the thing that puts him back on track is literally the opposite of that, it’s jake basically telling him that his emotions are a waste of everyone’s time and that he needs to shove them aside just like he always does because it’s worked in the past and it needs to work Right The Fuck Now- it’s the invalidation of marco’s emotions that finally manages to pull him back to where he can essentially “function” properly again, as far as morphing goes
god and this is the shit that always gets me, why i love these books so much, like not to get all Edgy or anything but it’s that brutal reality of a fucked up situation, where there is no moral at the end, the serious issues aren’t getting resolved, the characters are fighting amongst themselves and damaging each other in the process it’s just?? so???? it’s so fucking Good like God i just
i cannot even describe how much i love this series, i just
i really love animorphs, okay,
god
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I was coming home from school when I heard the phone ring. It rings more often now with Nora around because she gets calls from parents asking why their kids are flunking math. I decided not to answer. Let the machine get it. And then, I heard her voice. "Marco, if you're there, pick up." My mother.
wHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THIS IM SCREECHING IN THE MOONLIGHT GOOOODDDDDD Hhe was about to move on, this book was ending in all this acceptance and starting anew shit and now ur pulling a fast one on me like this ummMMMMM??? UMMMMMMMMMMM?M???? BY E
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((lmao retroactive 2 years later bullet point add, @ visser one what the fuck this was so risky what if marco’s dad was home??? what if the three of them were all sitting around the dinner table having a meal and ur damn Mom Voice starts projecting across the entire living room uhh??? hello?????? i kno ur deal is that ur literally in space jail abt to be convicted for space crimes or w/e but i stg at least do a batman????? or pull an accent or S ometh ign jesus christ. smh))
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*lol
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bizarrebird · 7 years ago
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As mentioned, I’m still on my Buffy kick, so I’m gonna continue with my live blogging. Fair warning, I may skip some episodes because they’re... not great or too Xander centric for my tastes. But I don’t think anyone’s gonna read these who isn’t familiar with the series so you probably know why I’m skipping the ones I am.
Anyway, onto Season 2, Episode 2: Some Assembly Required
First, I just wanna say, I’m really dumb cause I thought this was the episode where Spike and Dru show up and stuff gets good but SURPRISE THAT’S NOT TILL EPISODE THREE FFFFFFUUUUUUUU
So we start with Buffy in a graveyard (we start here a lot, idk if it’s the same graveyard all the shots here are so fucking dark you can’t tell what anyth) waiting for a new vamp to rise from his grave. Angel appears out of nowhere, startling her because, as Buffy points out, he never learned to approach people like a normal person. Angel makes a comment about how he expected Buffy to have Xander or someone with her.
And okay, there’s a lot to unpack in this conversation, the parts that happen before and after they get interrupted by random vampire of the week. Don’t wanna spend the whole liveblog on this, so I’m gonna bullet point the important things
Angel giving Buffy shit for dancing with Xander, but refusing to admit he’s jealous cause Angel is a tool (this is a recurring theme)
Buffy saying she just did it to make Angel jealous, probably cause he’s a tool and never wants to talk about his feelings (also a recurring theme)
Vague slutshamey talking about the dancing which is super uncomfy
Angel calling Xander ‘just a kid’ which has a lot of just... super creepy implications, which are like almost addressed when Buffy asks if that means she’s a kid too, but we don’t get an answer to that (for the record she’s 16 and Angel is super fucking old, yeah I gotta talk about this later in another post)
Angel just tries to go cause he’s a little shit baby who makes Buffy do like 80% of the work in their relationship
Alright, there’s a lot of expansion that can be done on all this, but a lot of it’ll probably happen in liveblogging future episodes.
SO ANYWAY as Buffy goes to chase after Angel (like he always makes her do), she falls into an open grave and they realize the body has been dragged away, starting this investigation into the ‘monster of the week’ as we go to OPENING CREDITS
As the cool music fades we go to Buffy and Xander walking into the library to find Giles talking to an empty chair, practicing how to ask out Jenny Calendar. It’s actually pretty cute and I love awkward nerd dad Giles and Buffy sasses him in a charming way... which Xander then makes super weird, leading to the very, very warranted line from Buffy: “I fear you.” You should fear him, Buffy. You and every other female character in this show. Buffy goes on to give Giles some advice about asking Jenny out, which is sweet, while Xander is a tool.
Buffy then starts talking about the grave she and Angel found. Xander of course has to comment on her being there with Angel, y’know the guy Buffy has a legit on and off again thing with, who she has every right to hang out with without you judging her Xander, shut your gross mouth. Buffy continues to explain stuff and they decide to get Willow to look into the missing body, cause I guess this was the 90s and no one else knows how computers work
Willow we find being adorable and signing up for a science fair where random creepo of the week (I think he’s called Erik???? idk he’s gross so I don’t wanna acknowledge him more than I absolutely have to. Isn’t it wild that a feminist show has so many just casually creepy dude characters? I wonder what that’s about, Joss) Less creepy rando of the week, Chris, shows up and has a nice chat with Willow (too bad we’re going to forget he exists after this episode) Then light of my life, queen of my heart Cordelia shows up to also do the science fair cause the writers needed to find a reason to get her into this plot where she’s gonna get creeped on a whole bunch, great. Buffy shows up for Scoobie bizz and Cordy and Willow go with her, conveniently missing the super cryptic lines the episode randos drop in the middle of a crowded school hallway, but I guess none of the extras can hear so no one calls the cops
Cut to the library where everyone except Willow is scared of the witchcraft that makes the computer work, so she looks up the missing dead girl. Cordelia doesn’t care what they’re doing, but follows along anyway cause the writers kinda want her to be in the Scoobie gang but can’t figure out how to make it happen. She also drops some big foreshadowing that no one listens to because no one in this show appreciates her the way I do. Willow finds that their missing dead girl was killed in an accident with two other girls, so they decide to see if their bodies are gone too as Giles runs through creepy theories about flesh eating demons or zombies. Buffy briefly mentions Angel and Xander shoves his own foot up his ass in protest
We then go to the graveyard where Giles and Xander dig up the grave while Buffy and Willow talk about boys (will we pass the bechdel test this episode? we just don’t know) Buffy gets shamed more for her ‘sexydance’ with Xander and then she asks about the foreshadowing Cordelia dropped earlier and Willow turns into an exposition fairy to talk about Chris’s dead brother, who totally isn’t related at all to the dead bodies being dug up now. Buffy opens up the coffin and we cut to--
Cordelia heading to her car after cheer practice, only to be stalked by a mysterious pair of shoes in the most ripped from a horror movie scene this episode. She hides in a dumpster only to realize the creep following her is actually Angel, who still doesn’t know how to not terrify people he’s trying to talk to. As she’s getting out o the dumpster, Cordelia finds a severed hand trying to cop a feel
The gang gets back to the library where Angel and Cordelia are hanging out (probably planning their spin off already) and Xander and Angel are stupid at each other because that’s the only kind of interaction these two can ever have. Angel tells them about the body parts in the dumpster, which apparently he looked at enough to know some bits are missing, throwing out all the theories the scoobies came up with. He says that the stitching was super good and Giles makes the (very justified) point that high schoolers shouldn’t know how to do that, but apparently they like to stitch up bodies in the science club, so it’s time to break into some lockers. Cordelia asks Angel to take her home and it’s weird for everyone (also Angel’s wearing a really weird jacket right now, it’s khaki and makes him look like a business man who just got laid off and is super bummed that means he can’t sneak around with his secretary anymore)
We then go to Chris’s house where his mom is clearly grieving, but still awful. Now okay, this scene is super short, but very good at establishing everything we need to know about Chris’s homelife, so points there. Back to the school for breaking into people’s lockers. Chris and creepo are found to have lots of medbooks and the creepiest fucking frankengirl made out of pictures from magazines or something. We then go to Chris and creepo in their secret lab where they’re frankensteining the girl bits together
And now we go to the school where Buffy rightly says how messed up this is and Xander opens his mouth to word vomit about love and it’s so weird how his mouth moves but Whedon’s words come out and shit all over female characters. Then we get some cute flirting with Giles and Jenny and he stutters a whole bunch and she asks him out and it’s a genuinely sweet moment (this is when we feel the Whedon destruction of happiness hammers looming. Remember kids, Joss Whedon hates happiness)
Willow tries to do research while Xander’s a dumbass, then Buffy gets there and they discuss the possibilities of frankengirl already being shambling around, only for Giles to get there and say that all three dead heads have been found, so Chris and creepy haven’t finished the job yet. We go to them, talking about how they’ve gotta move fast cause there’s a time limit before the limbs start being extra super dead. Creepy wants to kill a girl and Chris is like ‘dude what the fuck, I’m not doing that’ and it’s revealed that his super dead brother is now a frankenjock and these guys can just... bring people back from the dead??? For a show where people drop like flies, you’d think this would get a little more focus, but no. Super dead bro just wants an equally horrifying lady friend and manages to football talk Chris into agreeing to murder. Dead guy looks at creepy’s pictures and he picks Cordelia (cause it’s been almost an episode since she’s been kidnapped, gotta tick that box again)
The Scoobies meanwhile realize that Chris and creepy have to kill a new girl to get a head and Buffy’s the only one appropriately enraged by this. Willow tries to argue sympathy for Chris, which Buffy doesn’t seem to go for until she goes to Chris’s house and gets an idea of how shit his situation is with his mom. Buffy goes to check out Chris’s weird basement room while dead bro looms, she finds a creepy cut up picture of Cordy and rushes to the rescue. Meanwhile Cordelia gets menaced and kidnapped in the locker room but Buffy shows up just in time to save her. Then Cordelia, cause she’s a fucking pro, insists on going out for cheerleading stuff, gotta lead all those fuckin cheers
Buffy realizes Chris is still there and does try to sympathize, but tells him he’s gotta knock off the creepy shit. Chris plays the pronoun game saying he has to do this for “him” until Buffy realizes he means his dead brother. We briefly see said brother smashing everything and attacking creepy until he says he can make him the lady friend on his own. Buffy and Chris get back to the hidey hole too late and realize dead bro and creepy are still going after my sweet Cordelia
At the football game we see Giles and Jenny on their date, her actually calling it that and making Giles go all awkward. But then the cockblock crew shows up and Willow and Xander steal Giles’s food instead of... y’know, worrying about the potential frankenteen stuff going on. Cordelia gets statched by the dead guy and dragged off while the crowd is distracted by the bizarrely shiny yellow pants the football players are wearing. Buffy and Chris get there a little too late and then we see Cordelia with the creeps and she screams a lot, which... fair Cordy, me too
Chris tells Buffy where to find Cordelia. Apparently they’re just doing this in an old science lab??? .Chris goes to get backup and Buffy goes for the save. She real quickly tries to talk things down, cause she does sympathize with Chris, but when deaders goes to attack Cordy, Buffy goes for the ass kick. The fight goes on for a really, really long time cause this guy won’t get staked. The lab starts catching on fire as Xander gets there and (being useful for the first time this episode, no this season) goes to get a tied up Cordelia out (or he tries to, he can’t undo the fucking straps holding her down on her weird gurney thing, just ignoring all the knives and cutting tools like a foot away cause why use his thinkerbox for anything other than petty quips)
Giles and Willow get there and remove an unconscious creepy. Xander just... he fucking throws himself onto a still screaming Cordelia, giving up getting her untied and just wheels them out because the lab is on too much fire now. This knocks the gurney where the rest of the bits of the would be frankengirl are into the biggest fire. Dead bro is about to super smash Buffy when Chris gets there and yells at him.
This makes him notice the burning body and he just... really awkwardly climbs on top of it and gets redeaded in the fire. And it’s kinda sad but he’s been super creepy this whole episode and no one will remember this later
Outside the fire department gets there a little before Angel does (still wearing his weird khaki outfit like he forgot his middle and last names are “I’ll stop wearing black when they invent a darker color”) And he just... stands there for a bit until we cut to Giles and Jenny talking about a second date. I’m sure that will go well and there won’t be any drama
Xander and Willow talk about how they’re sad and dateless for some reason. Well, Xander says that because he’s a clod and Willow humors him because she’s a soft lovely lady who hasn’t realized there are better options out there yet (soon, honey, soon) Cordelia, who has been temporarily possessed by Joss Whedon, tries to flirt at Xander a little, but he’s dumbass and just brushes her off
Cordelia makes the greatest face ever and is temporarily released from the mild insanity that makes her think Xander is anything more than a terrible worm boy (this won’t last and I hate that)
Now we close out on the same graveyard where we started (wow, neat, such closure, much meaning wow) There’s also this weird cut to a closeup where Sarah Michelle Gellar is clearly standing on a box as Angel talks about how he is in fact jealous of Xander. Progress! I guess. He talks about how being a vampire is suffering cause it makes dating a teenager hard
I joke, but okay, this is a sweet scene and a nice way to bookend the episode, and this is coming from Bangelhater69 over here
FINAL THOUGHTS: In terms of advancing the plot, not a whole lot happens, but there are some good character and relationship moments here, so it’s definitely not all bad. But hey guys SPIKE GETS HERE NEXT EPISODE!!!!
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